Help - think I will have to go into arrears

Hi, Just a bit of background info.
Husband left October 2009
We have joint mortgage 286000 prob in around €100000 neg equity)
We have 2 children 3 and 10 months (left me when 2.5 mts preg)
I have been in constant contact with bank and I have been paying interest only since he left, struggling bad but no arrears so far. I am on one parent family and get mis to help towards some of the mortgage. I am going through seperation with legal aid, but this may take another year. My family all live up the country and now my ex has moved up to the same county as them.
I can't carry on like this I am stressing out paying everything alone only get 80e maintenance a week for my kids and he has already missed 2 weeks since january.
I would ulimately love to move back to where my family is, for some support and help with the kids. But I have heard that if you try and sell your house that you will not get social housing? So do I stop paying my mortgage and let the bank reposses it. I am so heartbroken over this and it is the last thing I want to do as I wanted this home to be our family home for the kids to grow up in. I know I will never get a penny from ex to help with mortgage. So do I stop paying mortgage, I am just in limbo and want a fresh start so I can rebuild a life with my kids near to my family for some support.....please help

Can you be clear - are you paying the full mortgage charge on your own at the moment?

sorry I am paying interest only of mortgage.... I am paying this alone he pays nothing towards the mortgage

I believe it is very hard to get social housing when you are a home owner. Would I be right that even if you did sell the house, you would still find it difficult to get social housing. I think the best way for you to get housing is to be homeless.

Maybe your best bet, is to rent out your home and move back to the country and rent for awhile to see how you get on. Hopefully if you can rent it out it will cover the cost of the mortgage or their abouts.

You could also try and bring in a foreign student to help cover some expenses !

Can your partner afford to pay and is just not paying or can he genuinely not afford to pay?

Thanks for the replies,
Alexandra you see if I move out - I will loose Mortgage Interest Supplement (80 a week), then I will have to pay rent and I will not get rent allowance as I have a house and if getting rent (if I rent our our house) they will use the rent received as income so would end up with less.
Sunny he thinks he doesn't have to pay because he doesn't live there! He workes as a bouncer cash in hand so I can't prove how much he is getting (same problem with getting maintenance)
I suppose I need to know can you sell your house and then go on social housing list (was told you can't do this as it is seen as you gave up your house)
Do I stop paying the mortgage let bank repossess it and then I will be able to go on the social housing list.... hate saying this but there is no point struggling and not getting anywhere and delaying the inevitable. I need the support now with my family when kids are young. :-(

You should be able to go on the social housing list if you are unemployed. If you do manage to get on the housing list - it will take a couple of years to get a house. My friend is on it about 5 years now.

You need to be very careful here.

When the house is gone whether it be by selling or reposession - you need to have somewhere to live.....

You could apply for rent allowance and get a landlord that will take social welfare cheques. This is being phased out, so I don't know at what stage it will be at by the time you no longer have your home.

It is not as easy as having a home today, selling tomorrow and having a social house a day later. You need to have somewhere to go while you are waiting on a social house and it looks like either moving back to the family home or renting is your only medium term option. Anyone that has social houses will be holding onto them, it is very hard to get them. The easiest way is to be homeless.

You should go to the social housing department and ask them for the list of acceptance criteria's that you need to meet in order to qualify for a social house. Also ask them currently how many people are on the list and what is the expected time frame if you got accepted onto the list that you would be offered a home.

Try this link for contacts [broken link removed]
This sub link for FAQ's [broken link removed]
Found this too [broken link removed]
Application form http://www.dlrcoco.ie/media/media,2969,en.pdf

Holly

You should speak to your community welfare officer in the HSE. I feel for you as I am going thru a seperation too but i am working and my wife is not. I will get no benefits at all if i leave our house nor will she as we have a house in both our names.


Family and friends are what you need in this situation.


Best of luck.

Are you working at all?
What are the repayments on the mortgage?
When do you anticipate a date for separation or a hearing at least?
Could you get someone in to rent a room?
Have you any teenage nieces that could come help over the holidays.

You mention he works as a bouncer ... cash in hand.

Surely he has to be registered?

[broken link removed]


If so he should be paid legitimately so you should be able to get after him to pay his share.