Help regarding a will

Are we missing some points here? Does a Beneficiary have any legal right to be consulted or involved in making decisions? If so, then an Executor would be legally obliged to consult Beneficiaries such as Charities which are often named in Wills (or the grand-children for that matter). If I’m right, then an Executor who chooses to involve family members does so to seek advice or as a matter of courtesy only.

A Beneficiary cannot be forced to ‘loan’ money to the Estate but if he or she decides to do so, it doesn’t confer any new rights such as to consultation (no more than the Bank holding the Executor account has any such right). Am I correct? If I am, then dieseboys has the right to claim back whatever he has paid into the Estate, or refuse to reimburse whichever sibling put in money on his behalf.

In my opinion, dieseboys has a very difficult decision to make. Cause a major family row by insisting on his right not to loan money to the Estate, or just let it go and put up with the consequences.
 
Yes as above - all very awkward. I have a couple of Probates under way at the moment and it is interesting how different families behave.

Some families are perfectly happy to let the executor do whatever it takes to get the estate sorted - including if necessary expending money ( his own or theirs) to seek to maximise the value of the estate on the sale of the property. One family is at loggerheads at the perceived slight seen by some at the appointment of one sibling only as executor. They are fighting over everything - and where family are concerned, boy can you find things to fight over.

Ultimately, it is for the executor to deal with the estate - in certain circumstances, he/she may need the assistance of beneficiaries if for example there are insufficient funds to do what they think is necessary. In those circumstances, tact and delicacy will not go amiss. Beneficiaries in general are not entitled to be consulted nor their opinion sought. In practice however executors have an obligation to properly administer the estate and may be sued by beneficiaries for failing to properly administer an estate.

mf
 
deiseboys said:
..... and all her personal belongings were being dumped which I feel was inappropiate. All we wanted was time to adjust her home was her pride and joy especially her garden.
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DB - I can empathise with you my own mother died a few months back and we are going through the same kind of process. Whatever about the money side of it if one of my siblings had done something like the above I would have gone ballistic. Sounds to me that if one (or more) of the siblings are so insensitive to others feelings I would not pay a penny further towards what are in effect THEIR grand plans - and I would insist on itemised receipts for monies already spent from your mothers estate.

In my own situation my sister is the exec and as a matter of course she keeps us update on any income and expenditure and before anything was given away or disposed of we met jointly to agree in advance.

I know the point being made about less said the better but I have to say that I wouldn't be worried about the feelings of someone who has been so insensitive about my mothers personal belongings.

Roy
 


I don't believe a beneficiary does have a legal right to be consulted when making decisions. In this instance, the Executor, saw fit to spend 1k on behalf of dieseboy, without his/her knowledge and looked for a cheque, or else the sum would be deducted from inheritance. This had nothing to do with the estate as such. He could have chosen to borrow etc. against the estate but did not. If an Executor intends to spend your money, then I think, the least you can expect, is to be consulted!


Dieseboy is effectively being 'forced' to pay money to the Estate if no one consults him/her before the money is spent. The point is, he/she should not be forced into the embarassing situation you mentioned above,i.e. refuse to pay sibling etc.



pat127 said:
In my opinion, dieseboys has a very difficult decision to make. Cause a major family row by insisting on his right not to loan money to the Estate, or just let it go and put up with the consequences.
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I agree he/she has a difficult decision to make but if it's handled correctly, I don't see why it should escalate into a major family row!
 
That is exactly why I posted a query in the first place, didnt want to upset anyone but wanted to find out if I can say no or does the executor call the shots. So now that I kinda know he cant I can say enough is enough before things get out of hand.
 
Having the house valued within a week of your mother's death seems insensitive. However you have to understand that your mother chose your brother as executor for a reason. Is he the person who gets things done, is he the one that wears the suit in the family or does he just talk the talk?. Perhaps he has read that with interest rates rising and the talk of a glut of houses on the market this coming selling season he wants to get in there before any slowdown happens.
Either way this appears to be more of a family matter and difficulty with communications matter than anything else. It is not just the executor that is involved but another of the beneficiaries, your sister that is also calling the shots.
How long should a house be left idle before it is placed on the market? One month, three months, six months? Do you envisage visiting the empty house every other weekend, walking through the rooms and the garden remembering the old days, tears in your eyes, sad and upset. Do you need this? Is that part of the healing process?
 


Think one of the points being made was that decisions were being made (regarding personal belongings and what work should be done / expenditure etc) where were not being agreed with all members of the family.

I don't think that the comments about "walking through the rooms and the garden remembering the old days, tears in your eyes, sad and upset" are particularly helpful. I wouldn't like friends or neighbours of my mother thinking that the family were sitting around waiting for her to die so they could move onto the disposal part of the project!

Roy
 
onekeano said:
. I wouldn't like friends or neighbours of my mother thinking that the family were sitting around waiting for her to die so they could move onto the disposal part of the project!

Roy
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This family including the original poster and the other family members in disagreement were happy to spend money on the house "after the mothers death". Why didn't anybody replace the carpets and decorate the house when she was alive?.
 
Grizzly said:
This family including the original poster and the other family members in disagreement were happy to spend money on the house "after the mothers death". Why didn't anybody replace the carpets and decorate the house when she was alive?.
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Completely uncalled for!!
 
A point for Grizzly as you know the elderly like things there way nice and flowery and not the modern way cream and clean.

What I get out of all your replys and thank you all is that it was the executor decision, after getting the house valued, should have got estimates for updating, got advise as to where the money should be spent and went with that. Either get a loan or using assets if available (which there were). This makes a lot of sense. I still dont know what to do about the 1k that has been paid in for me, I have got a list of where the money was spent and still cant believe my eyes. He has left all the decisions up to the painter as far as I can see, painting everything that didn't move. I mean 800 euro for paint alone and keeping in mind it is painted all in magnolia??? I cant believe what he charged to actually paint the walls.
 
I think you should bear in mind that your brother has lost his mother too. It's not easy being an Executor for a parent and there will always be something that someone else would have done differently!

Perhaps he didn't chase up the best quotes...not a hanging offence...would you be in form for this at the moment?

The only thing I would object to is his spending my personal money without my consent. This can be rectified by having a chat...not a row...no accusations...simply letting him know you feel left out of the loop and that you'd like to make decisions about where your money is spent.

You'd be horrified by what tradesmen charge these days BTW!
 
Yes your right I would not have liked the job. Thats why time was needed to get our heads around things. I cant say I would have done any better and there are no arguements on my part, except putting money in for me without asking, and just needed to know could I say NO, before things get out of hand.
 
I’m glad that the respondents have made things clearer to you and that you now understand just what power (or lack of it) the various functions have. Regarding the money that was ‘taken’ from you, you now understand that it wasn’t appropriate for that to happen, but let me give some thoughts.

As you now know, the Executor is free to decide what should be spent on the house etc and where to get the money from and you’ve no right to be consulted about it. Usually however, the Executor can be trusted to spend money wisely and there’s no problem. Many will consult and advise the Beneficiaries I’m sure.

In your case however, rather than using money he could have taken from the Estate he has taken it from you without your permission. That makes you a Creditor as far as I am concerned and he is legally obliged to pay all Debts out of the Estate before distributing it.

He however may not actually realise this. That suggests that you first have a private word with him and if this doesn’t work and you are determined to get your money, you are free to write to him, reminding him of his legal obligations and demanding your money back as part of settling the Estate. Your only other choice is to let it go, because if he refuses, you’ll be forced to sue him after the Estate is distributed and that has all sorts of other implications.

Good luck to you whatever way it turns out.
 
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Thank you everyone for advise, you have been a great help. Waiting to see what happens next, before I agree or disagree to the 1k.
 
Just as regards the valuation on the house only a week after your mothers death: a lot of people (particularly older people who have had their property for quite a while) do not have their homes insured to the current market value. It is a good idea to have the property insured to this current market value as soon as possible, given that anything could happen to the house between your mother's death and the date of sale, particularly (although you don't mention this), if the house is going to be left vacant.

Just a thought!
 
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