Ruby -
Are you posting to get reasons to overrule your architect and engineer? Because that's how it looks!
If they say the ground is soft, and they *all* agree the foundations need to be deep, then I strongly recommend taking their advice. The building regs prescribe minimum requirements for normal conditions, but there are all sorts of ground conditions that'll require more... if you overrule them, you really don't want to find yourself realising, in five years' time, that the architect was right after all.
As the proud possessor of one "lean-away" extension (pending demolition, and pre-dated my purchase of the house) I can tell you that if you don't get the proper ground works done there's almost nothing you can do
short of demolishing and re-building.