My ex-partner and I broke up last October, he very reluctantly moved out of our home in January.
From January up to last week we had no formal arrangements regarding our two children and he was in the house to see them almost seven evenings a week - I thought I was doing the right thing by the children this way but I think I've done more harm than good as our oldest who's 5 has had to listen to more and more arguments - him call me every name under the sun/ be told his dad was dying (totally untrue)/awful things about our neighbour which my son could not even understand and all this under the influence of drink which he also does anytime he's "babysitting" for me. He's even left our 18 month alone in the house asleep while he slipped out to "collect a bet" and accused me of over-reacting when I went beserk about it.
There has been constant verbal abuse and mind games (things like blocking the driveway with his car/disconnecting battery in my car so I cant go anywhere) since Jan. and an incidence of violence last week.
Only got the courage to apply a safety order after speaking with my own family but I just don't know what to do now re. access to the children. I dont feel he's a good influence at all and not a good father figure, and wonder what peoples opinion would be for me to cut contact between him and the children altogether.
And this is not just a way of trying to hurt him hence the reason I let him have free reign up to last week. I am not financially dependant on him in any way.
Is some kind of father figure better than none at all?
Or do I take control and do what my motherly instinct tells me?
Would truly appreciate any replies
From January up to last week we had no formal arrangements regarding our two children and he was in the house to see them almost seven evenings a week - I thought I was doing the right thing by the children this way but I think I've done more harm than good as our oldest who's 5 has had to listen to more and more arguments - him call me every name under the sun/ be told his dad was dying (totally untrue)/awful things about our neighbour which my son could not even understand and all this under the influence of drink which he also does anytime he's "babysitting" for me. He's even left our 18 month alone in the house asleep while he slipped out to "collect a bet" and accused me of over-reacting when I went beserk about it.
There has been constant verbal abuse and mind games (things like blocking the driveway with his car/disconnecting battery in my car so I cant go anywhere) since Jan. and an incidence of violence last week.
Only got the courage to apply a safety order after speaking with my own family but I just don't know what to do now re. access to the children. I dont feel he's a good influence at all and not a good father figure, and wonder what peoples opinion would be for me to cut contact between him and the children altogether.
And this is not just a way of trying to hurt him hence the reason I let him have free reign up to last week. I am not financially dependant on him in any way.
Is some kind of father figure better than none at all?
Or do I take control and do what my motherly instinct tells me?
Would truly appreciate any replies