Ex partner looking for house to be sold

I would appreciate any advice and will try and be very clear -

1. House purchased in 2007 for 500K by both of us (not married)
2. Separated 8 years
3. Children (15&16) both live with me in the family home.
4. I currently pay the full mortgage of 1400/month
5. Maintenance is €500 per month.
6. Approx €250K left on mortgage

This is my question - he now wants the house sold or to be bought out, which given my salary is impossible. He has got a solicitor involved so I know he is pushing for this.
I understand as we were never married I don't have much of a leg to stand on and it could be a case that a judge could push for a sale, and/or I could end up with massive legal fees.
I have engaged with a solicitor, and can honestly say I don't know how I am going to pay for his fees let alone further ones down the line. Also he advised to apply for legal aid, which I have done and can take months.

My question is - does anyone have any experience with this and advice as to what way it could go - more the 'not being married'...

Thank you, and apologies if the above is not clear?

Is the house in point 1 above the family home mentioned in point 3 ? OR do you live in a separate house ?

I assume you mean child support rather than maintenance for you. Is this court mandated or just agreed between you? I assume this will continue until the children finish education.
How many years left on the mortgage?

elcato said:

Is the house in point 1 above the family home mentioned in point 3 ? OR do you live in a separate house ?

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same house family home

BillieJean123 said:

we were never married I don't have much of a leg to stand

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Yes you do & you have paid the mortgage alone for the last 8 years.

Sit tight & continue as you are till you get legal aid approved.

And don't engage.

BillieJean123 said:

My question is - does anyone have any experience with this and advice as to what way it could go - more the 'not being married'...

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Given that you lived together for many years and have two children together, if this were to end up in court then, as regards property and financial questions, the court would have the same power to make orders regulating maintenance, property matters, etc as it would if you were married. So in your circumstances I don't think the "not being married" thing is going to be a big disadvantage for you.

In your favour:

- You and he own the house jointly but, because you have been paying the mortgage solo for (I assume) some time, you have paid more than half of the cost.

- You are living in the house with two dependent children of the relationship, who need to be housed and whose interests will weigh very heavily with a court.

Obviously the full facts aren't given in your OP, and obviously your ex would have considerations that he would point to. But, based on what we do have, I'd be very surprised if the court ordered the sale of the home. It's likely that the court would favour, at the very least, you staying in the home with your children until they have both completed their full-time education or turned 23, whichever happens first. That's a fairly common arrangement arrived at in situations like yours. If the house is sold at that point regard would then be had to the respective financial contributions made by you and your ex to the purchase of the house, which means that you should be in a position to push for the lion's share of the sale proceeds.

So don't lose heart. This won't be pleasant, but I think your position here is not as vulnerable as you fear.

Important point's to consider.

Whose name is the house in?
Joint tenants or tenants in common.

Also in a similar vein whose name (s) are on the mortgage.
Any resolution that you aim for will need to be aware of the banks involvement in the outcome.

Finally regarding the separation.
Was it formalised?




I think it would be advisable that you too get legal advice pertaining to your circumstances.

For what it's worth...

Let's look at it from his point of view for the moment.

He has a valuable asset.

He is probably renting and would like to buy.

At the same time he wants to support his children.

It's not unreasonable for him to want to sell the house.

If you sell it, he will get €125k - you could argue about this as you have paid the mortgage for 8 years and there was probably very little equity in it 8 years ago, but it's a good starting point.

But if you sell the house, then his children will be homeless and he will have to increase the child support.

So you need to reach some agreement to sell the house in 8 years when the youngest is 23.
But you also need to agree how much he should be paid at that stage. That would be tough negotiation.