Etiquette for a wake?

[TreeTiger]

One of my neighbours has unexpectedly passed away and will be waked before the funeral. I would like to bring some food around (was thinking of scones or something like that) and wonder if I should do this before the coffin arrives or should I bring it when I call around during the wake.

Any tips would be appreciated.

 

[sam h]

Either/or. Normally I'd just bring the food with me as I'd probably be travelling, but as it is a neighbour, probably easiest for all if you drop in the food before. I always think it is really nice to see neighbours doing this !!

Scones, cakes, sambos all go down well (& fast).

Another nice option is to drop in a fully prepared meal for the family as it can be hard to think about cooking a proper meal after a death in the family.

 

[steph1]

Scones, apple tarts, definitely sandwiches.

If you had time to do so a nice big pot of stew for the family would go down well. As the previous poster said at a time like this people dont think about cooking and a nice hot meal would do them the world of good.

I know a few years ago when my mother died one of my relations arrived early on the day of the removal with a casserole and I really did appreciate it as I was hungry and didn't realise it having been so caught up with greeting people and sorting out the details of the funeral. People really appreciate these things at a very difficult time.

 

[Joe1234]

If the removal is at night, maybe have some stew etc ready for the family when they come back after the removal. They will have a very busy evening and I know when a friends mother died a few years ago, Mrs Joe1234 left a curry in the house just before the removal. It went down a treat at 9pm when the family came back.

 

[mercman]

As well as the food, normally a bottle of Irish won't be ignored at the time of a Wake. Here in the West, these events are still classed with the utmost of respect and the deeds of good neighbours, friends and relations are long remembered by the mourners. This is the one little bit of old Irish culture which the modern society has been thankfully unable to destroy.

 

[Joe1234]

the deeds of good neighbours, friends and relations are long remembered by the mourners.

Yes. It actually amazes me that in times of such sorrow, grief and distress, that the mourners seem to remember everyone who helped out.

 

[sam h]

Yes. It actually amazes me that in times of such sorrow, grief and distress, that the mourners seem to remember everyone who helped out.

Agreed, I still have a clear memory after my mother died of my friend mother coming over with a pot of stew, only to slip on some ice at the side of the house....still it's the thought that counts!!

 

[TreeTiger]

Thanks for the advice. I left over a big plate of scones and obviously many other people had brought stuff over as well, there's enough food and drink in the house to feed an army.

 

[truthseeker]

Thanks for the advice. I left over a big plate of scones and obviously many other people had brought stuff over as well, there's enough food and drink in the house to feed an army.

Fair play to you - from personal experience I found the time a couple of weeks after the funeral to be very difficult when the initial burst of people had faded away and all was quiet. It would have been nice to have a pleasant visitor to shoot the breeze with and talk about things other than the recent death.