Engagement Party - any need to buy a present?

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asterix

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I've read the wedding present threads and have decided that €150-200 per couple going (no cash) for a full wedding invitation is reasonable. €50 for an afters seems to be the norm, but I think the concept of an afters is cheap and rude so I wouldn't accept such an invitation.
I have two slightly different scenarios in the offing and I'm looking for some advice. Both scenarios come close to the "afters" category of invitation but I've decided that they're distinguishable (it's the "second rate guest" embarrassment associated with arriving at an afters that I object to) so I'm going to go along:) In both instances, reasonably close work colleagues are involved but neither is a good friend.
Scenario One is an invitation to an engagement party where the wedding will be for a small group of close family and it has been made clear that those attending the engagement party will not be invited to the wedding. It will be held in the groom-to-be's (large) house and I get the impression that caterers will be brought it. Give the standard €150-200 gift?
Scenario Two is an invitation to an engagement party in a private club. I get the impression that everyone from work colleagues to close family will be going. Unlike Scenario One, it's an open question as to whether an invitation to this will lead to an invitation to the wedding. My guess is that some, but not all, of those invited to the engagement party will be invited to the wedding. Bring nothing in the reasonable expectation that you will have to buy a wedding present? Or know your place and buy a gift because you should have realised that the whole point of inviting you to the engagement party was so your name could be left off the wedding invitation list?
 
Do what you feel is right. Methinks you are agonising too much, and attaching too much value to a wedding invitation.
 
For both a small gift is acceptable to mark the engagement. Theres no need to be providing the equivalent of a wdding present.
 
Agree with the others, for the engagements a token is fine - I normally get a bottle of champagne for people.
If and when you are invited to the weddings (or not), then you can think about wedding presents.
 
Bottle of champers, small gift token for BT's or All-for-one, meal voucher or just turn up with nothing have been choices to many of the parties I have been invited to depending on couple involved!
 
I have recently gotten engaged and was surprised that some people actually gave presents and cards as I really wasn't expecting any. If you want to give a present I agree that a bottle of Champagne is a great idea.

I agree with your thinking on afters too. We're getting married abroad and plan to have a party at home for everyone. I wouldn't mind not getting presents for this but it's rude to state anything about gifts on the invitation so if we get presents great and if not that's great too as long as people have a good time.
 
Cahir - your attitude is refreshing, have recently been to weddings where cash, (rather than a gift) has been more or less expected. Ive even heard people talking about "covering their plate" first and then giving more cash on top of this "for the present". Surely if you need contributions to fund the thing you should be having something much smaller!
 
Hi

I agree, a bottle of champers is the most I'd give at an engagement party - regardless of how well I knew the people, where it was on etc etc

As for wedding pressies, lets face it, while handing over hard cash is a bit embarrissing sometimes, it saves a load of hastle with going looking for presents, or praying there is something under €500 left on the weeding list at BTs etc, so all in all I'm happy enough handing over the dosh myself ;)

.. the only problem is, the price seems to be going up & up every time we go to a weeding, with the last one having cost us €300 for the present, coupled with drink money, travel costs & a nights accomodation (all told, I'd guess it cost over €600 for the wedding & overnight stay)

Cheers

G>
 
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