Does spouse committing adultery make separation more straight forward

Hi not sure if this title is sufficient but feel free to change .Basically my husband and me have decided to split as he had a affair last year actually lived with the person and then came back .

We tried to make a go of it but his old habits returned and he has decided he is unhappy and wants separation .My situation is complicated in that there are 2 children with special needs involved .

The last time we were on a list for mediation for 7 months and i am not willing to wait this long again as there were mortgage arrears etc and he did not pay proper maintenance for the 6 months separated .

I am thinking of going straight to the legal route this time as cant afford this scenario again .My question is given that he has been unfaithful will it mean that i will be looked on favorably by the courts when it comes to maintenance agreements and will it be straight forward .He has said he will pay maintenance etc but i need it sorted asap and also would you advise i wait for mediation despite is prior history.

I think the first thing to recognise is that, in general, Courts do not take adultery into account when dealing with separating couples finances. So - he does not get punished for having an affair and you do not get a prize for staying with him.

The Court will look at the assets available to the parties, the parties' respective financial needs and the welfare of the children.

You are the one who decides how you want to deal with your marriage breakup - be that by mediation or Court order. You need to adjust your expectations to a certain reality - if he has always been feckless, then it is likely that he always will be. Mediated Agreement or Court order notwithstanding.

mf

Thank you very much for the reply .That is exactly what i needed to know .I thought that myself but as usual have been listening to others not in the know .

I will proceed by getting on the list for mediation etc and seek legal advice on where to go from there

MF1 got it in a nutshell. Adultery will make no pleadings towards your case. But once your both willing to separate, its just the situation of dealing with all, or any assets to quibble about. The house, and maintenance etc. It would be best, if ye're still on amicable terms to try sit down and speak about such isses and try and get a Deed of Separation in place asap. Costs are inflated by the length of time it takes to come to an agreement, so the quicker ye agree, the less the costs, for both of you.
Best of luck.

Thanks maybemaybe for the reply .I have made a appointment for Monday for legal advice .I presume the deed of separation can been done through a solicitor if we are in agreement therefore skipping the seven month waiting list for mediation .

I realise this is the more expensive way but have some savings for just in case this situation came up and need things on a legal footing asap due to previous history when last separated.

We are on good enough terms in that he has said he will do the right thing and i can tolerate him long enough to sort it out so should be straight forward hopefully .

Sorry to hear about your situation. Not here to give you any advice on the legalities of the situation but one thing to remember if you do go through with the mediation etc and you decide to take him back. Think to yourself if you can mentally go through with a break up again. With regards money etc, if you have 2 special needs kids you may be entitled to a domcillary allowance for both which might help you with the money aspect, also after you have been seperated for 3 months you may qualify for one parent family payment.
sorry if i am off the mark with this but just for info it might be a help to you

Thanks doubledeb for the reply .I am in receipt of dca for both at the minute and carers benefit .It will make more sense for me to change to carers allowance from what i can see than to claim lone parents .It is early days yet and i have a lot to figure out money wise .I am lucky that i still have independent means thanks to dca