Does bad attitude to single mums still exist?

[elainem]

Met an old school friend again after 20 years last May. He's a year older than me and never married. We've been meeting up a bit since May, but only became 'exclusive' in Sept. We're different religions but that doesn't seem to be a problem. However, his mum is very anti single mums. We got on very well when I was friendly with him at school and for a couple of years afterwards when we hung around together. However, now she feels sinlgle mums aresa looking for a meal ticket, or a father figure, and are 'used goods' apparently. I have my own house and have no debts, work part-time, study etc. The kids dad is invoIved, it has been difficult in the past, but not now as he has a new partner. I discussed several times with my 'partner' whether he wanted kids, as I don't want any more, and tried to persuade him to go out with someone else who wanted more children. He says he never wanted or wants chldren, but his mum thinks he should find someone who is able to have children.

I don't want this to escalate as I feel it would impact on our relationship, but I also don't want my partner to regret not having children - maybe this is what his mum is worried about.

Comments appreciated.

 

[Marietta]

Frankly it is none of his mum's business, if I were you I would be slighly worried about this woman and the influence she has over her grown son. Is moving away an option??

 

[Sunny]

If he is happy with the relationship, what does it matter what his mother says. Is it a problem for him? Maybe he should grow a pair and stand up to his mother.

 

[PaddyW]

Get him to tell his mother to keep her nose out of it. If he allows her to carry on the relationship is headed for doom. Trust me, I know.

 

[truthseeker]

The mum sounds like she is old fashioned and not happy with her sons lot - why he allows her opinions to matter to him as a grown adult is a different question. Its not your fault that he never married or had kids.

If you think he can get on with things and take no notice of his mums opinions then stick with it, if he is going to allow her to stick her beak in and make you feel uncomfortable then get rid.

 

[fizzelina]

Do you mean Sept this year?? That's only 4 weeks ago since becoming "exclusive" so I would have thought it's a bit premature to be considering the future and kids etc?
If you really like him why would you try to persuade him to go out with someone else?? Hang on to him!
To be honest I think the kids thing is in danger of becoming too big a deal and overshadowing the rest of the relationship (like you said it could impact things). If he says he's happy to just be a stepdad then accept that and just enjoy being together rather than getting bogged down in deep and meaningful future discussions after being together a few months. And with regard to his mother then don't even give her a thought, that's for him to tell her what he wants and you should not become involved in that.