do guys always buy the engagement ring?

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rosey

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hi ,
Would appreciate any thoughts...my boyfriend asked me to marry him..I said yes....we told nobody...wanted to get the engagement ring first....going ring shopping this w-end!yea!!
we are living together and share all bills( actually he earns more so pays a bit more) but now I feel guilty that he is going to use his savings to buy me a ring...I'm not into expensive jewellery and don't have any jewellery of any great value really..
I just feel it's a bit mad- we're going to go out and he's going to spend €xxxx on a ring for me...
Do guys always buy the ring or do any couples share the cost?( although in my case as I have very little savings I wouldn't be mad to spend on a ring- this makes it worse as it's spending his money)
Just to mention, he has a reasonable income but still....should I pay at least part of it?
 
Congratulations!

I don't see anything wrong with sharing the cost of the ring. You'll be the one wearing it for a very long time so its really your decision but....maybe the only thing I'd be a little wary about is not hurting his feelings although there are many men who would probably be delighted.

There are ways around it although usually its the opposite of your query. I know someone who spotted the ring she liked and prior to going into the shop with her partner, had a quiet word with the jeweller and the prices were 'amended' slightly. The two of them later went to the jewellery shop with their agreed price range and they (naturally I mean she!) selected the ring she wanted and paid the difference herself later :p
 
Rosey, are you mad? Of course your fiance ( congrats and every happiness) must pay for the ring. He is getting your hand in marriage in return. And sure, aren't you worth it? Remember you are a treasure and he is lucky to get you. ;)

Besides if your finances are spread pretty evenly it won't make much of a difference anyway.

The only thing I would say is that if you are not particularly pushed about the ring, well don't bother with a very expensive one. Go for something handmade but cheaper or an antique. The ring doesnt have to be expensive to have the right sentiment attached.

Most importantly, a precedent is being set here that may last all of your married life- men need things spelled out for them: he must buy you gifts being the message( and you might appreciate this more a few years down the line). Doesnt matter what price they are- it really is the thought that counts.
 
Previously yes. But in todays economic climate you have to be realistic even if it does take the romance out of the process. Spending thousands on a ring or paying the mortgate and buying a ring that you choose at a reasonible price.


Think about it.
 
Just a thought -perhaps buy him something that would mark the occasion? Best of luck and I hope that you have many happy years together.
 
You could do as I did. Drove wife into Grafton Street, gave her seventy pounds and told her buy a ring and bring me back the change. I didn't go to the jewellers shop. It was in 1971.
 
thanks for all the advice..we're heading out ring shopping now...himself says he was saving anticipating this...so think he will buy the ring but I will take up suggestion to buy him something too to mark the occasion..thanks again everyone...
 
We bought ours from our savings account as we share everything 50-50 already. I wouldn't allow him to buy it himself. I'm not suggesting others shouldnt just that I was happier with it being 50-50
 
We bought ours at a wholesale jewellers and went 50/50, sounds awful now, had no money 28 years ago!!!! Still have the ring and the man!!!
 
We didn't even "do" the engagement ring part - thought it was a waste of money.

You're getting a ring to show that you'll be getting another ring?! :confused:
 
oldtimer said:
You could do as I did. Drove wife into Grafton Street, gave her seventy pounds and told her buy a ring and bring me back the change. I didn't go to the jewellers shop. It was in 1971.
Click to expand...

How romantic ;)

Nearly as bad as my Father dropping my Mother off at the Coombe and heading back home to wait for news.
 
Hi Rosie,
congrats on the engagement. I recently got engaged 2 weeks ago. My finanace brought me shopping for the ring and he did pay for it. i think that is important to the man, it was important to him.
I bought him signet ring which he picked out too at the same time, this is like an egagement ring for a man, so we both got something!
in terms of what you spend, buy what you can afford, there are lovley rings out there for reasonable prices.
 
We went to the jewellers together and he bought the ring, I suppose I am a traditionalist but the band was in white gold and I wanted platinum, I know, spoilt, so I said I would pay for the platinum which was €600. Then a few weeks later he said to me, where is my engagement present as this is the done thing now supposedly, I think he was looking for a playstation or something and all I could say, as I was broke from xmas and just spent €600 on the platinum, "I got you the platinum, doesn't it look better than it did". He just smirked to the skies but he knows me and would expect nothing less from me!!
 
picaresque said:
We bought ours from our savings account as we share everything 50-50 already. I wouldn't allow him to buy it himself. I'm not suggesting others shouldnt just that I was happier with it being 50-50
Click to expand...


My fiance and i did the same earlier this year. I wouldn't expect him to pay when everything else is 50-50. however, each to their own!
 
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Hey, Rosey,
Congratulations!!!

I think your fiance has done a brilliant job. Engagement ring is the Man' responsibility to buy, at the least in my personal opinion. As when you said yes, it would be a life-time long commitment to the man you said "yes" to, to commit yourself to him, to commit your life to your(2 of you both)'s life. So he exchange the "yes" with the Ring to your "yes".
However, what I would do is, I will buy my b/f a watch,as I know he is a TIMING person. In another words, he can afford to lose his wife, but he cant afford to lose his watch! I told him as for the purpose of commitment, he buys me the ring I want, and I will buy a watch he maybe wants( my budget is (€2000) for his watch, I feel comfy to get him such a watch so he can wear it to anywhere at anytime, though he is very concerned what if he loses it! I then told him," get it insured, as I will do to my ring!"
Anyways, I am happy for you and happy for all happiness happens to us in our lives.

Have a good Wedding!
 
I got the ring-yes!!well-waiting for it to be resized...its a solitaire in white gold...its round brilliant cut-quite simple with a low setting-cant wait to get it back!...we went round loads of jewellers in Dublin..but actually ended up going north- a bit unpatriotic in these times I know- I do feel a bit guilty- but it was considerably cheaper than any we looked at here-I'm amazed the difference in prices for similar rings even between jewellers beside eachother in Dublin...it definitely pays to shop around even buying in Dublin..the man paid I should add- quite happily...and I'll buy him something on the sly this weekend!!!
 
It is really just a personal preference based on tradition, romance etc.

In cold financial terms it does not matter either way provided the couple get married. Once married everything is 50/50 anyway so if the man spends 5k for a ring, the couples net worth will be 5k less once married.
 
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