Dividing up contents of house.

A

antigone

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Hi

Our family is now faced with this issue following the death of a parent. Everything is divided equally in the will and I'm pretty sure we will all agree to the sale of the house. BUT I can see choppy waters ahead in relation to items in the house. Not so much that they are very valuable - its more that there is sentimental value attached and there are quite a few adult children entitled!

I should say that I am the executor so can't duck the question. I've seen various suggestions such as: have an auction among the family so they put a monetary value on each item (or not if no one else wants it), another suggestion is that you do a lottery and go round in the order of the draw with people taking items in order until nothing of any controversy is left.

I'd be interested to hear of peoples' experiences in this area - not the legal issue but the emotional aspect. I know this can cause damage that is never repaired so would like to try best to avoid that.

Also has anyone any advice on whether to change the locks on the house? I know this would be red rag to the bulls but parent had many different carers at home during last few years and I cannot be sure I know who holds keys and who doesn't.

Thanks so much.
 
Change the locks. Like you say a lot of people have had keys. It is quite normal - but the family will expect to each get a set.

Contents. Suggest a fair mechanism and, if they wish, let everyone suggest an alternative. Vote. It will soon sort out the issues.

Another suggestion - make a list and ask everyone to nominate the things they would hold most dear ( a much nicer way of saying who is the most grabby!)
If several people want the same things then it is a lottery- names in a hat for each item. If there is no contest and everyone is happy, sorted.

If it is anything like most families, there will only be 10 at most things that will be an issue - Waterford glass, the pretty tea set that has not seen the light of day in more than 20 years, that particular photo ( hint: get copies so everyone gets a copy) etc.,etc.

mf
 
In my case one member of the family went through the house with a fine tooth comb and took everything of value. She even took items that she did not want just so that other family members could not get the items. The thing that upsets me is that she took my mothers jewellery and gave some to her own daughter despite the fact that the rest of us also have children. The house now needs to be cleared of junk etc and she has suddenly decided that it is too upsetting to visit the house any more.
Set the ground rules from day one by agreement.
 
@antigone In a situation like this - and I assuming that you are pure as driven snow - the here is what I would do:
- call the group togther - hear views and then
- I would gild the lily a little and inform everybody that you have a fiduciary duty as executor to make sure that Mother (of Fathers) wishes are adhered to;
- the will has said nothing about the contents so what Mother intended was that it be auctioned and divided in 5.
- If anybody wants a particular item a reasonable value is placed on it and thats part pf the extraction;
- if more than one - they either resolve it or highest bidder
- Repeat there is nothing in the will indicating any other course of action.
 
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