Counselling for couples....How?

Hi Guys

Going out 7yrs + (not living together), get on really well, love is unquestionable! have the odd row/argument nothing major. However, I had a lot of issues from childhood - have dealt with them over the years through councelling. My BF has issues also never dealt with - not aware of a lot of them or the effect they have or will have on our relationship, it become very evident if we argue.

We hope to get married in the near future and in order for us to move on I feel these issues need to be addressed.

He has agreeded to go to councelling, agreeing that we dont fully understand all the issues.... but having looked at whats out there Im not sure where we should go .....i.e. ACCORD or independent centre or private - is there a good, better, best......

Or is there another avenue for us .....self help books (I'd say I would have to read them and report back or highlight the important bits!!)

Re: Councelling for couples....How??

Joan, just a suggestion, you might also want to post in the PI forum on boards.ie. You might get some more suggestions there.

[broken link removed]

Re: Councelling for couples....How??

Would suggest MRCS - Marriage and Relationship Counselling Services... v. effective, tho (and this is perhaps not for me to make any remark on but... ) your relationship does not sound rocky, so maybe individual counselling might be more appropriate?

I would go to Accord they are the experts on relationships and know that they are well respected that is why they are part financed by the government and for their record of excelence.

Accord are a Catholic agency. are non denominational. Both are part [broken link removed]. Some people may prefer on over the other. There are others too who may or may not be state funded.

Thanks for the input - as you will apreciate this is a sensitive issue and I didnt want to discuss it with family and friends. I would hope we would meet with professionals and not a unqualified volunteer (eventhough I would have the greatest repect for these people). The religion part is not an issue for us.

Depending on the "unresolved issues" involved there may also be appropriate specialist voluntary or professional counselling agencies worth checking out. And there's always the Samaritans who are not just for those in severe crisis or who are suicidal. A chat with your GP(s) or Public Health Nurse might also be an idea.

Joanod,

I can recommend MRCS (Fitzwilliam Square) for relationship counselling, we went and found them really really helpful. It was great to have an impartial person in the room who wasn't there to judge either of us for our viewpoints and really opened our eyes to what the other felt and thought about things without it descending into an argument. It was Eur60 a session (hour) although if you couldn't afford that they'd charge you less.

The one thing I would say is I would echo what a previous poster said and say that sometimes you can overtalk and try to over-analyse things so just keep that in mind.

Good luck with it

M

I would second MRCS. There is a waiting time to see them, but they offer an initial assessment fairly quickly. They run an excellent service.
If the underlying problems are individual however,as another poster suggested, individual counselling may be helpful
Your GP should be able to recommend local counsellors to you if you were interested.
Nicola

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the imput, will keep that in mind. Muffin1973 I hear what you are saying and I do realise that. Its good to know you had a positive experience.
It seems there is a waiting list everywhere but we have taken the first step and that feels good we are awaiting a call back.

Thanks again

J

Hi Joan,
I pmed you there

D