Ireland’s new best friend, British chancellor George Osborne, the future Baron of Ballentaylor in the County of Tipperary and Ballylemon in the county of Wexford, regaled House of Commons journalists this week with his tale of the Christmas tree, the civil service mandarin and the tyranny of health and safety laws.
It began simply with Osborne deciding that, in this age of austerity, he didn’t want the taxpayer paying £875 (€1,045) for a tree when a perfectly adequate one could be purchased from B&Q for £40. He soon found himself embroiled in a Yes, Minister saga as e-mails started flying and civil servants retreated behind a wall of bureaucracy.
Exchequer Partnerships, the company responsible for maintaining the UK treasury – and charging £875 for doing the job in the past – objected, asking how the tree would be brought in, who would water it, who would get rid of it after Christmas and who would put up the decorations.
The company declared that looking after an “off-contract” was not part of its deal with the treasury and warned it would have to carry out a health and safety check upon the tree, particularly if civil servants were going to indulge in the death-defying task of putting up the fairy lights.
Osborne persisted. The company eventually offered a tree for free, but only the treasury’s most senior official, Neil McPherson, was cleared to place the star on top.
The permanent secretary had to stand on a chair to do it because the company refused to loan a ladder due to health and safety concerns.