Choosing a Secondary School - Academic/ Vocational

M

Mel

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We're coming up very soon to decision time for which secondary school to choose for my son.

The school I prefer has an excellent record in exams and reputation, and I agree with the overall ethos.
Logistically it suits fairly well, short drive, 2 bus options.
I feel it would set him up excellently for the future in terms of work ethic and attitude.
Facilities are dated, and I'm slightly worried about closing some doors due to fewer subject choices.
It's single sex.
A handful of his friends will be attending.
He is dead set against it.

The alternative, is a community school with a reasonable record in exams, but huge numbers less of an emphasis on achieving best results.
Logistically it's probably more convenient in terms of sharing lifts etc (no bus).
It has far better/ more modern facilities and subject choice (metalwork, woodwork, technical graphics in addition to those offered at first school).
It's mixed.
Most of his friends will be going to this school.
The child is certain that this is his choice.

I know it's probably a fairly common decision so I wonder does anyone have any advice or experiences to share please?
 
I think it depends on what type of a boy your son is and where he sees his future career. For example going to university or training in a trade etc. We have chosen not to send our kids to the local mixed community school as both are academic and the academic subject options in local school are restricted due to having a lot of subjects like woodwork, tech graphics etc.
 
Hi Mel, as Emiso said it does depend on what kind of boy your son is, but just because he is academic I wouldn't count the other school out as if the grades are important to him he will strive to do well no matter the environment. Also remember that he is now coming to the age where he will develop the better part of his social skills and mixed schools tend to be better at developing this than same sex. Once again it will be what he is interested in that will determine where he would rather go. It's a hard decision to make so best of luck to both of you.

Bear
 
We're a year or two away from that decision.

The Mrs is holding the line that boys do better at mixed schools at secondary, while girls go better at single-sex school. The mixed school, local to us, is not one I'm keen on while the boys secondary school looks good to me and has a good reputation, both academically and extra-curricular. The only thing the Mrs holds against it is that it's boys only.

I'm on the sidelines here, hoping for more posts.
 


There were 6 of us siblings , 3 boys, 3 girls. All went to coeducational primary and secondary schools. All had great experience of school. My eldest daughter did likewise and my 3 younger boys have all had or are currently in co-ed primary. But my oldest boy has ended up for various reasons in a boys only secondary school and it looks like the other two will follow him.

I would have had strong reservations about this "unnatural" idea of seperating kids on the basis of gender; they can't do that through life. However my son has done really well, and it doesn't seem to have impacted on his view of girls or how he relates to them. I don't think it has the snigger factor that used to be around years ago. For instance my (girl) friends from outside school would constantly quiz me about boys from my class and I would look at them as if they had two heads. Being in school with boys and having them as friends was the most natural thing in the world to me but they saw them as exotic creatures.

My advice : pick the school you like best, your son will adjust and make friends and be happy.


A.
 
Whatever decision you make one factor I would not consider is that his friends are going to a particular school or not. Sometimes it is better to start off fresh as when going on to Third Level. Leave any primary school baggage behind.
He could go to the same school as his pals and due to streaming he might find that hebis not in the same class as them most of the time.
Figures do show that girls fare better in single sex secondary schools. I'm not sure if it is the same with boys
 
I've got 2 in secondary and another heading there next year. For different reasons the two already in secondary are both in single sex schools. One for accademic reasons and the other for compbination of accademic and sporting reasons. The girls school was daughter's own choice and we ended up totally happy with it. The boys only school offers much better sporting facilities than any of the co-ed schools around here, its still a very accademic school but that wouldn't have been his main reasons for wanting to go there. However neither of them suffer socially due to the single sex schools. I think youngsters are so much more confident and comfortable around the other sex these days that there is less of the "boy mad" scenario you used to hear about. They both have plenty of friends of opposite sex and are happy and casual about these friendships.

I do think your son has to have a big say in the choice though - if he feels that he has been forced to go to a school not of his choice, will he resent it and possibly you as parents too? However, I don't think its just good enough though that he wants to go there because his friends are going, loads of kids change in secondary and leave their primary friends behind them anyway. Daughter has completely new set of friends in secondary and girl heading into secondary next year is looking forward to having a whole new set of friends. Son is half and half with new and old friends. What are your son's own reasons for wanting particular school ? We were very surprised when daughter choose her school, it wouldn't have been what we would have considered our first choice originally but her reasons were very good.
 
I think he's a little swayed by his friends mostly attending the community school nearby.
He was also very impressed by the good job they made of the open day - everything was made to look shiny and exciting, and they have very good facilities which made it all the better.
He's a little intimidated by the physical environment in the other school I think, and he mentioned that he might 'get lost' in the dark corridors etc - we've allayed that fear I think.
He's also making noises about wanting to be an architect/ designer of some description, and thinks metalwork/ tech graphics etc will help. I'm not sure if this is just telling me what he thinks I need to hear.
If he does choose these subjects, then he'll most likely be spending time with the particular friends that I'd like to create a little distance from.
 
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