Cats not getting on - any advice?

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Petal

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For all the cat psychologists out there! I have two cats - had them for a year and a half now, and I used to 2 stray cats in the garden, one of which had 2 kittens . Not sure what happened to all those cats but they disappeared after halloween - so I think someone caught them, but one of the kittens (I'd say she's about 8 months old now, so not really a kitten anymore) was the only one that remained and in her loneliness has decided to move in with us. The problem is that my cats are terrified of her (her mother used to chase them) and there seems to be no love lost between them. The stray has made efforts to make friends, but my cats won't budge. The other night one peed in the bed - not sure whether out of protest or to mark her territory, but i'm not sure if there is anything i can do, or if they will get used to each other eventually. Has anyone got any experience with this and can advise?

Many thanks...
 
Are they all neutered yet? Usually helps with any aggression.

Are your cats maybe indoor/house cats? if so, they may sense the outdoor nature/personality of the new arrival and it may seem unusually feral to them.
 
Sounds like jealousy here from cats# 1 & 2.
Cat # 3 the 'new arrival' has tried to make friends but no.'s 1 & 2 have shown no friendliness and have been very catty and even piddled on your bed!
I say withdraw all privilages from 1 and 2.
No Playstation - ball of wool - no Kit Kats for a week...
Sit pussy 3 down and explain that the others are older and really should know better but things will improve.
If by chance things do not get better in the short-term, get a dog.
The cats will band together in the face of the common enemy then dispense with the dog (humanely of course).
Last alternative is a bonding session in front of 'Finding Nemo'
 
excellent post, well thought out and of course fantastic advise for the OP.

I think OP should stick it out for another while. Give a bit of extra loving care to all 3 animals in front of each other. Give them scraps of meat together so they will be in each others company and not tear the heads off each other. Im no expert but thats something i`d try. Try to get them to interact with each other - play with a ball of string with all 3 of them. and give them plenty of rubs each time. Show equal affection.
 
My two are neutered, the new arrival is due for it shortly. All are female (surprise, surprise). My cats do go outside, but never at night - don't have a cat flap so they can only go out when I'm at home. Problem is my cats have a bit of a paranoia, one because she was attacked badly by a stray when she was small, the other one has a general distrust and dislike of "foreign" cats. They're kind of ok eating at the same time. Maybe I'll just wait and see, maybe eventually they all get on fine. I've had cats most of my life, but never more than one, so i'm out of my depth here and was wondering if anyone knows if cats usually come round!
 
The DSPCA on Mount Venus Road, Rathfarnham have a cat behaviour person who might be able to advise you?

They have a website - www.dspca.ie

You could email or phone with questions?
 
If they're eating beside each other, then that's a good sign things will get better. But it takes time, took a while for my 2 to get friendly with each other. They may never sleep together, but will put up with each other without hissing or whatever!
 
Think about how your two 'resident' cats feel. All of a sudden, this new thing (that it's a cat is immaterial to them) has come into their home space, is taking your attention, and is walking up to them without a care in the world and making them feel like strangers in their own home.

Cats are territorial animals and resent another trying to invade their territory. The weeing on your bed is classic stress - trying to mark territory and show unhappiness at the same time. Your bed is the one thing in the world that smells to them most strongly of you - they're quite literally putting their scent on top of yours, saying 'hey, we're part of this family together'.

What to do? Short answer: leave them to it - some fur will inevitably fly, but they'll soon settle down into a new pecking order and will accept the newcomer - they may become the best of friends with the newbie, or they may grudgingly tolerate her - mostly depends on their personalities.

Otherwise, you could do it the more hands-on way - groom the newbie with a brush, then groom your own cats with the same brush - maybe rub the newbie with a towel/glove, then do it to your residents and vice versa - this transfers the scent and makes all parties seem less strange to each other. Get out a favourite cat toy (theirs, not yours ) and play with it while they're all there. Finally, take a look on [broken link removed] and www.fabcats.org for more info on introducing new cats into the house.
 
I have the same problem myself. Had 2 female cats then my partner decided to bring on a stray-another female. First 2 don't like the new addition and she doesn't like them. Have to keep them apart at all time or else there will be blood. It's been like this for over 2 years now. I've come to term with the fact that they will never get on no matter what we try and do.
 

Honestly, if you let them sort it out themselves it'll be better in the long run. Yes, "there will be blood" (although hopefully no hammy acting ), hissing and crying, but it will look and sound a whole lot worse than it is and they will at least have established a pecking order at the end - it may be that they just ignore the newbie, or that they end up getting on, but I think at this stage you should let them at it.
 
Thanks to everyone for the advice, I think once my two have realised the newbie doesn't want to harm them, they might calm down. Newbie is going to get neutered on Wednesday, so hopefully that'll help as well. I'll keep you all posted on the progress!
 
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