Based on what you've posted I recommend UK bankruptcy as it's your best hope.
You need to hire an expert, it costs about 5K I believe, but for you it might be more as the situation is more complex as you've a lot of properties. Not sure how they base their fee. Steve Thatcher is the one person on AAM who deals with Irish bankrupts going to the UK, they literally walk you off the plane I believe. Please check out his posts for further information and you can contact him directly I'm sure. Otherwise ask your solicitor who he can recommend in the UK for you. Also check out the many threads on here on UK bank bankruptcy.
To make the UK your COMI requires a number of things, the experts will tell you what is needed, but it's basically residency, no ties with Ireland, giving your UK address to your creditors, de registering from the voting registry in Ireland and registering in the UK etc. You act as thought the UK is your new home forever and sever all ties with Ireland.
I don't understand your solicitors advice about selling. Are not all the deeds tied up with the loans, or are there some properties unencumbered? That is the only way you would be able to sell them. It is correct advice from your solicitor that it would be better to sell because it makes the bankruptcy process easier, but it is not necessary.
You are correct to think that you selling is better than the receivers. You will get the best price, they couldn't care less. You can still sell the pub, agree to paying off the shortfall, this is generally a paper exercise by the banks, as they pretend you will somehow pay off massive debt with no income, but they do it exactly so that if you win the lotto, inherit etc they will get their hands on that in a few years, meanwhile they decide how much you can spend on your groceries. But after the sale you can still go UK bankrupt.
Don't worry about what judgements are or will be put against you, bankruptcy will wipe that.
One problem is the family home. In all likelyhood the bank will put a judgement mortgage on it. For your 'share' currently worth zero. Not sure what happens in that scenario, maybe Steve Thatcher could clarify. In any case your wife becomes fully liable for the mortgage.
You absolutely need to hire an expert. Particularly as you have a wife and family. Because if you are going to go bankrupty you need to get it right.