Can I ask to see the other bids?

I’m not sure that many people would risk their reputation and livelihood to make 1% of a few grand more.

A lot of the time this stuff is paranoia on the part of the buyer; if I was an estate agent (heaven forbid) I think the first thing I’d do if a bid came in for something that had been on the books a while would be to notify everyone else who’d been sniffing around. It might just spur them into action.

On that basis, I don’t think it’s odd at all for a place to have no bids for months, and then a couple in quick succession.
 

This is what I expect is going on, and I also think I have been too keen. So I'll just react and let the agent do some of the chasing, they have two bidders so let them chase both of us.

What I am just most frustrated about is that it just appears to be a numbers game, let the bidders dual it out until one wins. I know personally it can be hard to stick to the price set in your mind, and I imagine that the higher amount it goes over the more likely the purchaser is to pull out.

There are pros and cons to every system, I once lived in a place where blind bidding was the norm, had a friend who submitted a bid against 15 others and the highest wins, no additional negotiation and if winner fails to complete it just moves to the next highest.
 

I agree with this and I guess when you want something you are only looking at it from your own perspective and pick apart why you aren't being successful. The agent may not think I am serious bidder for all I know. All I can do is react and try and make the situation work to my advantage.
 
It’s important to differentiate one’s bid not just on price.

e.g. not part of a chain, dealt with the estate agent before, wealthy family, etc.

Two bids can be the same number but not be equal