Correction to my post: not cohabit or have children unless there is equal wealthActually its a reminder that if you have children you have a legal obligation to ensure you provide a home, food, clothing, education, and you can't simply push them out when you decide you've had enough.
When a father wants to remove his children from the only home they have with no idea about where or how they are going to live, be reared or educated civility is clearly not within the relationship.
Can you clarify that please;Yes just to clarify, he wants me to find a landlord who accepts rent allowance and for me and children to move out so that he can move back into the 4 bed house (family home).
Thank you DeeKie. I will update this thread with the outcome.Good luck Dairylea.
Wow, that's crazy. Fathers are usually fighting to get access to their kids.Hi Purple, just to clarify regarding the parenting arrangements. He has shown no desire to share parenting as joint custody etc. I have been very much the main caregiver in the past and now. He’s sees them for 2.5 hours a week and calls once a week.
How long have you been together and what age are the kids?There are two other housing options in his name which have room for the children. So three properties in total. The sale of the main family house would not be enough to buy two separate dwellings. And I think because there are already other options available to him then it is unnecessary.
The problem is that he views the home as very much his. He views the responsibility of housing the children more my responsibility than his. He feels that child maintenance is his only responsibility financially.
I agree that anger is a poison. It’s hard not to be angry though when you see how easily someone can try to dispose of their family and put their own wants first. But without that anger I would not have the fight needed for these kids. I’m not a fighter. Everything has always been very much on his terms. But right now I need the anger and strength to stand up to him. Compromising would be good but unfortunately it seems that we are on completely different pages.
The fact that there are kids makes a major difference. More information here. There are good solicitors on this site who can give specific advice. Under the Civil Partnership and Certain Rights and Obligations of Cohabitants Act of 2010 Dairylea fulfills the criteria required for protection but yes, couples should get married if they really want to be protected. Unmarried fathers are far more vulnerable in that regard although the Marriage Equality referendum did, for the first time, give fathers automatic rights to their own children.I'm very curious about what legal advice you are receiving. My understanding was that the cohabitation rules could provide some redress but wouldn't approach anything like what you would receive if married, certainly nothing like getting a property. I have spent years advising people who claim its just a piece of paper of the need to get married when starting a family as you never know what will happen and I've seen it go wrong many times - its very easy to start in a position where everyone is equal, has great careers, etc then it just takes one child being sick, one job not being flexible about childcare, then suddenly someone is staying at home and it becomes very unequal with no protection.
I was glad to hear the cohabitation law was offering some protection but it sounded minimal whereas what you're hoping for sounds much more comprehensive. Has your solicitor had success with this before? I tried to read around it a few years ago and didn't see any reports on what the typical outcomes were.
Absolutely but at the same time, and without wishing to drag this off topic, this country needs to get more serious about ensuring mothers follow court orders around access for fathers. People get nasty when relationships break down and both parties use whatever weapons they have to hurt the other party. In the case of men it is more likely to be finances. In the case of women it is more likely to be access to children.Generally, I think people need to think seriously about sharing assets when starting a family, and this country needs to get more serious about tracking down fathers who avoid child support payments. When you have a child you're primarily making a commitment to the child, but if there's a family decision that one parent should step back to care for that child then morally if not legally that is a decision that will affect the provision that parent needs in the future. These are things that should be discussed more widely.
I think you are being overly pessimistic. I can't see a judge not making a Property Adjustment Order but I'm not a solicitor. Read this.At the moment I have no idea where this will go. Solicitor has advised that the cohabitation law brings me into the same jurisdiction as a married person but I know there are limitations and it’s not exactly the same or treated the same. Ultimately it comes down to a judge to decide if we can’t come to an agreement beforehand. I wouldn’t imagine a judge would rule us to leave the house but at the moment that’s what I am facing so I’m hoping for the right to remain until youngest is older. I think my expectations ok. I hope so.
Thanks Purple. I hope you are right. The problem is there isn’t much to read on the outcomes of these kind of cases. Maybe most of them get sorted out before they reach court.I think you are being overly pessimistic. I can't see a judge not making a Property Adjustment Order but I'm not a solicitor. Read
Most family law cases are held "In Camera", that is in the Judge's Chambers and so are not accessible to the public. That's why you can't find them.Thanks Purple. I hope you are right. The problem is there isn’t much to read on the outcomes of these kind of cases. Maybe most of them get sorted out before they reach court.
Thank you MOBI'm not going to give detailed specifics because it is too difficult to do so without being at a desk and taking a full history. But there are some time limits for qualified cohabitants to seek relief. Make sure you don't fall foul of them.