Bullying / mental harassment in workplace

Hi all,

Lots of developments since my last post. Again - long story short.
Eventually had a meeting with HR manager. Outlined the issues and the facts, etc,etc..
A full week later HR met with my boss and bosses boss, and as I stated previously because all the bullying treatment was taking place in private, surprise, surprise, a complete, full and flat denial was the response.
Had another meeting with HR where essentially the above info was passed onto me.
Basically, because as expected of the complete denial, (and bullying occured in private) it is going to get dirty, and complex.

Fun, fun, fun....

At this stage, I seriously have to consider all my options.

So, to anyone who found themselves in this position, i.e. reported/highlighted the bullying, situation is now going to get worse, etc, etc - what did you do, what was the outcome, what would you recommend?

Thanks.
 
The way I see this (and coming from similar experiences), you have 3 options open to you now.

1. Stay on and put up with what's going on, for whatever reasons. Could be to maintain income, the experience (workwise) you're getting or whatever. Or just to hang on until a better job comes along elsewhere.

2. Leave now. Or just to hang on until a better job comes along elsewhere.

3. Stay on an build a case for constructive dismissal. You'll need labour law advice on how to do this because it's a difficult route to pursue.


As I'd see things anyway, you're not going to be working there much longer either way. Just a case of making the best out of the manner in which you exit the company - immediately, or later to a another job, or with some cash following constructive dismissal case.

In my mind, and what I did, a useful course of action was a combination of all 3.

I hung around to wait for the right time to leave when another job came along, but in the meantime, pursued the complaints procedure to the max, making the company think I was going down constructive dismissal route, and in the end, they paid me off to leave via redundancy.

Best of luck. It's a hard situation, but you're not likely to make any progress/future where you are so just develop your exit strategy in a manner which best suits your needs.
 
Why not carry a Dictaphone and whenever the bully starts off let them see you turn it on? You could also carry a notebook and let them know that you are keeping notes of times and dates to go with the recordings.
 
I found myself in a similar situation. The bully (a team leader) was best friends with the manager so my complaint was handled very poorly. The next person up to complain to was her husband! There was nobody else to turn to in the company - no HR etc.

Having documented everything and got support from co-workers who agreed to act as witnesses should it ever go to court I decided to leave with a view to going for constructive dismissal.

I used as my starting point and did a bit of googling on services available in Ireland. I found the Anti-bullying centre in Trinity (sorry, can't remember the proper name) a huge help. I also used a solicitor on Parliament St (above Da Pino - sorry I forget the name) who was helpful. She was all for taking them to the cleaners but they made an out of court settlement the day before our Employment Appeals Tribunal. I preferred to take that (relatively small amount) and put it all behind me than enter into a potentially expensive, protracted, distressing court battle with no guaranteed outcome. BTW, I insisted on getting a glowing written reference as part of the settlement.

For me leaving the company was the best move because I hadn't realised how much the daily bullying was undermining my self-confidence. I thought I was strong enough to handle it but in retrospect I see that I probably should have left earlier rather than later as it had a very gradual effect which ended up in me doubting my own ability. I wouldn't necessarily advise that anyone else leaves but I wish I had quit earlier given that there was no hope of this company sorting out the problem internally.

The good news is that as hellish as it was at the time, I have firmly put it behind me and life is better than ever.

Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help. Best of luck!
 
Hi Homerscash,
Sorry to hear of the turn of events. Unfortunately this is a case of your word versus hers.

Purple's suggestion is not the most sensible approach I've ever heard. The possibility is that overt recording could lead to disciplinary action.

It would seem that they will now be wise the possibility of future legal action and will be protecting themselves accordingly, possibly with legal help. Also the bully will now feel empowered that they have an all-clear and
continue in a more subtly intimidating behaviour from now on.

I would definitely get legal advice but you should now consider a change of employment for your own peace of mind at least.

Best of luck,
Gearoid
 
Under the circumstances, would it be possible for you to request that someone else attend your 1:1 meetings as backup? This would probably ensure that your boss would be nice, or run the risk of having a witness to the bullying.
 
I hate to say this but as someone working in HR, the company's hands are tied unless there is any direct evidence. Unfortunately, in your case there hasn't been. You did refer though in your previous posts to email that were sent stating that she wished to meet you urgently - I presume she never expanded on this in her mail or engaged in any form of bullying behaviour via email.

I might consider approaching this problem by taking sick leave - go to the doctor and tell him that you are feeling stressed because of bullying at work. Ring HR and explain the reasons to them and also send in the medical cert (which should state stress as the reason for absence). This will definitely frighten HR and the company. It would certainly spur me into taking some form of action. However I don't know if you are paid for sick leave....

Otherwise, I would agree with the previous poster as well who says that you should now refuse to meet in private with this person. I am surprised that HR have not insisted on this. You should send them an email now requesting that they do this.

Finally, I implore you not to quit your job without having found another one. As intolerable and as difficult as the situation is now, it would be infinitely worse if you were forced into unemployment because of this bully.
 
Hi all,

Thanks again for all the replies.
The situation has in fact proceeded to get worse - when I actually didn't think that it was possible.
As suggested by a poster above, I have already been to the doctor.
As also suggested, I have started to look elsewhere to try and best exit the position/situation.

Essentially; boss and employers, not only denied all the issues I have highlighted, and will not entertain any compromise or mediation have now stated that I should resign - as boss will not work with me again.
Basically they want to wash their hands of this situation and forget it ever happened.
I am currently considering getting legal advice.
I have kept details of times and dates of meetings since I first highlighted the issue, and it shows that HR have been telling me one thing (i.e. compromise will be attempted), while management insisting the other.

If I actually wasn't personally in the situation I don't think I could honestly believe it.

I may PM a number of the posters who gave advice above (gnubbit & co) - I hope thats ok - or perhaps you could pm me.

I really am in a tight spot and need to move on....
Again advice and personal experience welcome.
 

I am sure you have been told this, but keep a record of everything, emails, notes, handwritten notes, etc, in a place away from your workplace. Emails have a habit of dissappearing, so take backups and keep them away from your workplace.

Did they put the request to resign in writing. Were there witnesses?

I suggest you get legal advice immediately and get your solicitor to write to them as soon as possible. You need to protect yourself and your mental health while you are looking for another job. At the very least, you should be paid handsomely in return for your resignation, which would effectively remove the problem from their hands. But don't let this drag on - legislation in this area is vague and it's better to stamp on it, agree a compromise that does not leave you in financial doo doo and move on.

take care,
Diziet
 
You should really contact your Solicitor. It really sounds like a case of whereby you are being left with no option but to leave.