Bullying in school

Hi Super mam

If the bullying is taking place in the classroom is it possible to speak with the teacher (and principal) and have the seating arrangements for the entire class moved so that your child is not close to the bully in the classroom?

This strategy would ensure that nobody (children in the class) would know the reason for the move (other than the principal, teacher and parent(s) who requested the move).

Marion
 
thanks
Haille thats terrible that you were threatened by those parents...these are the times we live in...
I am familiar with the stay safe programme an have discussed the issues with my son but the '' say no, run away and tell someone has failed here as the bully runs after him and issues more threats...
the incidents have taken pkace in the classroom, corridor but mostly in the yard, here I think the pupil/teacher ratio is a problem, according to my son when an incident happened and he told a teacher, she said she'd keep an eye on him but proceded to turn her back, walk away and deal with other things....
I am useing all my strenght to stop myself from dealing with the bully myself but i know this would lead to more problrms for my son... I will deal with it through the proper channels after the weekend, which will be a very long weekend for me but a great break for my son..
thanks all
 
So sorry to hear about all that going on. I would suggest something like Judo classes for your son - not so that he can fight his attackers, but so that it would help his "body language" to be more assertive and send out signals
that he can defend himself.
See also:
The Anti-Bullying Centre,
Department of Teacher Education
Room 3125
Arts Building
Trinity College Dublin 2
Tel: (01) 896 2573 / 896 3488​
E-mail: lmcguire@tcd.ie ​
 
A suggestion is to put your concerns in a letter to the Board of Management.

A child may be expelled for a single gross act of misconduct or a series of more minor ones.
 
Let us know how you get on - most important thing is to protect your child from any emotional damage that may have a bad effect on their future. Good luck
 

This is a very interesting point. I have been a victim of bullying in primary school, secondary school and in the workplace. It is obviously something about me that attracts the bully and by now I really have little confidence in dealing with them. I have often wondered what I am putting out there that suggests I am fair game. Your son does not want to be a victim like this all his life so it might be worth looking at something like Judo alright.
 
Unfortunately this is not a completely unprecedented situation, repeated bullying and interruption by one child can have a very detrimental effect on schooling (have some family experience of a similar problem) but in dealing with bullies schools have very limited options realistically. Children cannot be denied an education irrespective of how demonstrably uninterested they are in the privilege and a school's ability to restrain or punish children is relatively limited - expulsions are difficult at best and quite strongly challenged, particularly if there are no alternative education facilities nearby with places available. Moving the bully might not be a particularly good step at all especially if the bully acts in the playground and corridors - they still have the opportunity and may have even more motive if they feel they have been victimised by the move. Your son is a convenient target for some reason (probably those you outlined) and anything he can do to make himself less of a target will help him regain his confidence in himself, although that doesn't wholly address the issue it may ameliorate some of the effects. As an aside the most effective method I have ever seen used on a bully was entirely outside of the intervention of adults, as a child there was a problematic child in school with a history of family problems who regularly bullied and terrorised other children in the playground, a group of about twenty pupils from her class and from the older class all linked arms, surrounded the bully and harangued her forcing her from her victim and then continued taunting her in that way for a few minutes. She was very upset by it, but it did two things, it took away some of her power to terrorise as she was very publicly humiliated and it strengthened her victims as they were suddenly not alone in dealing with her. Not to advocate it as an approach but once her victims were empowered the incidents of bullying abated - their attitude towards her changed immediately and she was declawed. Bullies can be beaten - it is the hopeless sense that they can't that makes their victims feel powerless.
 
Well all, thank you all for your very helpful advice and comments. I contacted the Dept of Education and found them very helpfull, they took great intrest and gave me all the info that I needed, from the guidelines on countering bullying behaviour in primary schools, to the correct complaints procedure.
I wrote a very strong letter to the Principal, outlining all my concerns and listed all the various times and types of bullying ( verbal, physical and emotional) that took place. I outlined the terrible effects that all this was having on my son, his fears and anxieity,and my fears for any lasting damage in the future.. but most importantly I stated that I was concerned for his safety and would hold the school and her (the principal) responsable if any harm came to my son...I demanded that the bully be removed from the class, that my complaints be recorded, the situtation in other areas of the school ( yard/corridors) be monitored...Also that I was on to the Dept of education and my next stop was the gardai...and that I'd take my son out of school and home school him if necessary..I told her to read the letter and I would call back in an hour to see her and my son's Teacher...and this I did.... Well what a difference, they listened all right,.... RESULT....The bullies mother was called and notified that her Brat was being moved to another class and that they( the school) would be looking at disiplinary action against the boy....Aparently,there was so many complaints from other parents too...but it seems only verbal and that our complaint was the only one in writing. The proper procedure is ; verbally to the teacher, if no result then writing to the teacher, if no result then writing to the Principal, then to the Board of Management and if this fails then the Dept of education steps in...... Sure your child could be murdered by the time that all happens!!! I'm not sorry, but the Bully is someone else's problem now,the mother has to come and take him out of school at lunchtime, he's away from my son and today for the first time in a long time my son went to school without all the worry....
Thank You All again for your support it was greatly apreciated....and I can Retain my Title...SUPER MAM
 
Fantastic news Supermam


I echo a previous posters idea about encouraging your son to take up a sport/martial art for example Judo/Karate/TaeKwonDo as such activities support an improved self confidence and self image not only in school but generally and also teach him how to handle aggression safely. An ounce of prevention is better than more cure.

Glad to hear you have done so well
 
Well done Super Mam. I think you can add another Super to that.
Very goods tips there for other parents.
 

im so please for you. ive been watching this thread and felt terrible for you.

Well done. take yourself off out this weekend and have a well deserved drink.

SS
 
The Bully's mother will be putting the skids under him if she's stuck with him at home!
 
OK I'll admit that i don't know alot about bullying. Hovever, would moving the bully to a different class only mean that your child is not being bullied, but someone elses child will begin to be? I'd hate to think of the child's future if his/her parent's aren't as strong as Super Mam
Maybe the school's insurance for this bully could pay for some counseling for him? Because if you move the bully, the root of the problem will still remain i.e. the unhappiness in the bully's home etc..right? I know he's wrong to bully but he's still only a child, and it's really his parents' fault for not making sure he's happy at home or wherever, just like you're making sure your child is.
 
june said:
have you had a sit down formal meeting with the principal?
Click to expand...

Write a letter to the Secretary, Board of Management, setting out the situation clearly, and ask them what procedure they will take on the matter, as outlined on their Bullying Policy (which all schools must now have). Ask that your concern be listed on the Agenda for the next Board Meeting. All schools must have written procedures for their policies. Send by registered post and mark for immediate attention. Your letter must be acknowledged and acted upon at the next Board Meeting.
 
The first positive thing that comes out of this is that your child has actually told you that they are being bullied. That's probably the hardest part over and done with.

All you have to do now, is walk into the school and have a chat with the bully yourself...
 
I told my son, many years ago, that if anyone tried to bully him he was to let them make the first blow and then to punch the assailant as hard as he could on the nose. This will then provide a target who's eyes are watering and will be easy meat.

My boy had no problems at school, but needed to follow my advice at his first Army Cadet camp - he only had to do it once.
 
I don't see that it is ever an issue of the targets of bullying having too little self confidence, it is more an issue of a bully targeting someone because they are self confident, intelligent, good sense of humour and a big circle of friends in fact everything a bully is not.
The whole purpose of bullying is to dis-empower their targets.

Supermum I don't know if you are still watching these posts but the reason your son was targeted by this bully was because your boy is everything the bully wants to be and never will. You should be very proud!
I had to my wife look through some sites recently best 1 was thru the looking glass (I would put the link in but I can't work out how to)
 
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can you get the guards involved. the school have a duty to do something about it. there has been to many incidents about children committing suicide over bulllying. When will they learn? can they not suspend the child.
 
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