Building too close to parents? Choosing a site...

[Imelle]

Hi,
My partner and I are looking to build a house. Fortunately my father is a farmer so we will be gifted a site. We are trying to decide between 2 sites.

A: this location is about 4/5km away from my family home. However, when we did the site suitability test here the water table was quite high so we need raised percolation. It also is down a private lane way so we would need a well and also have to get right of way off 22 others along that road. It is a nice area but would have 2 big houses beside us.

B: is located on the far side of the field beside my family home. There is an old house there so planning should be easier. I always imagined building a house there when I was young (but that was not fully understanding freedom, independence, etc) it is a very peaceful area and apart from my family home across the way would be quite private.

I guess at the moment my heart is with site B but I feel very torn because deep down I feel site A would provide a better option to have an independent life. I'm worried living close to my parents could become an issue, especially for my partner. I know some people say don't live close to your parents but what does too close actually mean? They could have tendencies to interfere but I'm sure if I spoke to them they would back off. Or is it just a case that choosing to build in Site A instead is part of the process of moving away from home. Is the extra work involved with that site worth it?

Thanks

 

[Feemar5]

On a purely practical point of view site B seems to be the better option, less costs and probably easier planning. Do you know how your parents feel about you living beside them- they may also have reservations about being expected to help you out - maybe in the future minding children etc., Talk to them before deciding , take their views into consideration but at the end of the day it’s your and your partners decision.

 

[Saavy99]

Have you spoken to your partner about this? Either way you going to.be building on the farm so you still going to be in the vicinity of your parents no matter which site you choose. If you having reservations about 8t at this stage perhaps it be best if you move away from the farm and buy an independent site elsewhere.

 

[DeeKie]

I’d go with B. You might have to work things out with your parents, but they sound like nice people, gifting you a site. A little interaction with them is nice.