Bridesmaids and who pays?

Hi,
I am getting married next year and two friends as my bridesmaids. I intend paying for everthing for them for the big day ie dress, shoes, jewellery, tan, bouquets, hair and make uo plus a present for doing the job...
Someone, recently, told me I was mad, that it's just the dress I pay for...they get everthing else themselves.She had her sister as her bridesmaid and I'm thinking maybe her sister simply offered to pay her way.. I thought this was mean but maybe that's the done thing? I find it very hard to believe this and don't think I could ask them to pay for any of the above. We're not "rolling in it" by any means but will save for it all as best we can...

What is the done thing? Generally, I mean.....

Thanks.

Last wedding I was bridesmaid for the bride only bought the dress.. I had to pay for shoes..make-up..hair-do. I really wasn't too pleased.. but pleasantly surprised that she didn't ask me to pay for her honeymoon too.

Bride has to pay for it all, I did and I got it paid for when i was a bridesmaid. I think it is totally stingy to ask someone to be your bridesmaid and then expect them to pay for anything extra over the dress as if they weren't the bridesmaid they might not have gone to all that extra expense.

I have been a bridesmaid on 4 occasions ( always the bridesmaid never the bride..... yada yada yada) on 3 of these occasions I had hair, shoes and tan paid for, had make up done on 1 occasion, on 1 occasion bride offered to pay for shoes, but I declined as I was picking the shoes myself and so would wear them again..... I would say traditionally the bride pays for dress, shoes and hair for the day. getting make up and tan is a personal choice, I prefer to do my own make up and I'm not a big fan of spray tans.

Yeah, I would have expected the same myself. Until i did bridedsmaid for my brother's wife that is... I've remembered this minute, she bought the dress and took us to get our nails done but I bought the shoes (which I gave away ti my aunt afterwards as I would NEVER wear them again),hair...everthing... I did my own make up and tan... The wedding was in America so maybe things are different over there.

I still don't think I could ever bring myself to ask them to pay. I know I will pay for all in the end... Just putting it out there to see what other people do...

Generally you would pay for dress, jewelery, shoes etc if you want them all to have the same stuff. Makeup etc is just an added extra especially if you are having someone come to the house.

I think the dress, shoes and jewlery is enough. Maybe the bag as well. Basically anything they will not use again. Make up, hair and tan is a bonus as chances are they would have got this done anyway.

I have been bridesmaid twice this year and both times I paid for nothing ! I dont think it is fair to ask someone to participate in your wedding and pay the associated costs alongside it.

I generally give a generous lump sum of money as a wedding present which makes up for the expense that they incurred for me.

My rule of thumb was, if I (the bride) chose it, I paid for it.. if the bridesmaid wanted something additional, she paid for it..

So, I did pay for dress, hair, makeup, shoes - as I wanted them all to look similar. I did not pay for nails, tan etc as some wanted this and some didnt.

Discuss it with your bridesmaids and I'm sure you'll find a compromise!

depends really on circumstances. I would think if you want their hair a certain way etc you would have to pay...

Thanks everyone. It's basically a personal thing, up to a point... I'll keep saving!