Boss a bully

Yep, I worked in a place for 4 years. The boss was a bully. There were about 5 working there. It was miserable.

It was soul destroying. Hours were long and pay was bad.

Things did not improve when I was there.

Was the bully boss in that position for the full four years? Why did people put up with him/her for four years without doing something including finding a new job if necessary?

Bullying comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes and i have heard of comments such as " too soft "or "cant take a joke/Constructive criticism" being used to cover bullying tactics which leaves people doubting themselfs as to are they over reacting or indeed start thinking that they are just too soft...thus leaving managers free to continue this childish controlling behavior whether it be for their own amusement or just unawares...however IMO nobody is that stupid to not know what is right and wrong to act or say in a company.
Also sometimes leaving a company is just not an option for many people who either can not find another job or one that may not suit as in distance or job description...there are many reasons why people can not or do not leave their job even though they continue to get bullied many people are worried of the consquences of reporting a bully espically in smaller companies where if only one or two people are the bullys target and the bullying manager may be high up or have alot of "friends in the business" which makes things harder and shakes the confidance and it does not mean that they are weak or do not have a back bone.

In case there's any confusion I myself never accused anybody in this situation of being weak or lacking backbone. Presumably you were referring to earlier comments by other posters?

Sorry clubman, Should have made that clearer,it definatly wasnt you i was refering to,it was an earlier post i was making a statment about just to give my imput and opiion on why some people dont leave their job or dont make a formal complaint.

This is an interesting and extremely worthwhile thread.

Bullying in the workplace has been identified as the single greatest organisational problem today ..not only in Ireland but across the developed world.

Bullying and the physcholigical injury it caused, has been documented and in many countries and highlighted in reforming legislation. Ireland is to give some credit is to the fore in recognising it is a very real problem and in making provisions in employee legislation to counteract the growth in what is fundamentally violent anti-social behaviour.

Ronan is correct in everything he is saying and demonstrates an insight that can only come from being the target of a bully. It is advisable for anyone being subjected to the behaviours of a serial bully to take the steps Ronan outlined and seek professional counselling help as well.


For anyone interested in Bullying they should read the recent report of the Task Force on Workplace Bullying here : [broken link removed]

To truly understand the effect that bullying has one has to have experienced it. It is a form of violence visited by a person/people who have a documented sociopathy of what has been called a serial bully.

Research indicates that targets of bullies are intelligent, mature and have strong personal values of integrity and honesty.

The bully fears one thing more than anything and that is being found out …and people who are a threat to them. They have an irrational fear of exposure and are self-centred, many lacking basic social skills and can only relate to people as objects.

They leave a trail of emotional destruction behind them and frequently promoted to management positions where they then begin to abuse and manipulate the HR processes and procedures to their advantage. The bully picks a target and systematically sets out to destroy him/her and when finished moves on to the next victim. Frequently the serial bully has accomplices in the form of other minor bullies…gang bullying.

How often has someone who has tried to raise a complaint of bullying been subjected to disciplinary proceedings on spurious charges and HR have colluded in a process to force the person being bullied to resign ?

The effects of bullying on a person cause serious psychological injury which in many cases takes a lot of time and counselling to deal with. Many targets of bullies will talk of the injury suffered and how their lives and their relationships were affected by the violence visited on them. Some have talked of emotional rape as being their experience at the hands of a bully.

If I use physical violence against a work colleague I will be summarily dismissed and may even face criminal charges. But if I use psychological violence, my employer will make all their resources available to me, including their legal team to defend against an allegation of bullying.

Bullying should be listed as a non-fatal offence against the person in the same way as stalking has been. If so maybe employers will wake up to the fact that bullies and their violent anti-social behaviour should no longer be tolerated.

The law is slowly beginning to respond in recognising that serious injury is caused by bullying as have Government bodies. A seminal document issued by Task Force on Workplace Bullying is necessary reading for anyone interested in this area as is the work of Tim Fields in the UK.

As far as the law is concerned the legal process is very difficult, slow and expensive (both financially & emotionally). The Labour Court is similar in many respects. Frequently the solicitors objective is one of getting out with a payment & decent reference. And when it is over the targets of bullies have to sign confidentiality agreements preventing them from talking about their experiences and exposing the bully.

Recent changes to Health & Safety in the Workplace now require employers to include an assessment of the risk of bullying in their overall risk assessments and Government guidlines require employers to have a clear definition of what bullying is and procedures to deal with it.

But it is viewed as wallpaper when it comes to the employer behaviour in bullying cases. Few employers are brave enough to take action. In the vast majority of cases the only option for the target of a bully is to resign and move on elsewhere. Trying to take on the bully (who are very good at manipulating HR and HR company policies and procedures) is very difficult and almost impossible if the bully is the boss or a senior manager. There have been many cases where the target has left the company after reaching a settlement and the bully has been promoted even where the company has incurred significant legal costs !

The original post asked what can be done if you are a witness to bullying ...once again very little ..in fact it is also recognised that people who are witnesses to bullying feel powerless to intervene and are themselves negatively effected by the experience.

Bottom line ..is of you are the target of a serial bully and his/her fellow travellers the only real option is to move on, pick up the pieces and begin anew somewhere else. For most people it takes time for this to dawn on them by which stage considerable damage has been done to their self-esteem and collateral damage in their relationships with family, partners and friends.

Riddler

Sincere thanks to everyone for such a variety of ideas, suggestions, etc. I really felt so useless - not sure should I risk my neck or let things go. One of the juniors has changed from a happy helpful person to a rather more intense, quiet stressed out person in a matter of 9 months or so and that was the result of this. Will think over things in the next week or so to see what I can do to help without making things worse. Because they are young and inexperienced they are particularly easy targets where as I am a bit more hardened to the workplace!! Again thanks to each one of you - I appreciate all your input.

ClubMan said:

Was the bully boss in that position for the full four years? Why did people put up with him/her for four years without doing something including finding a new job if necessary?

Click to expand...

In a lot of cases the person being bullied has their self confidence chipped away....in my own experiance my boss would loose the rag if I made a mistake or if I was taking too long to do something...despite the fact that I was a trainee with no experiance. which lead me to doubt my own ability to do the job and fearful of moving somewhere else then being let go as I wasn't up to the mark.

I was studying at the time and as part of the whole trainee accountant package is crap pay in return for experiance and study leave/assistance with exam fees,courses etc... well I got very little study leave and was sent on a mickey mouse course because it was cheap...surprisingly enough I failed my exams ...a fact which he used to ridicule me in front of my colleagues and further undermine my confidence.

At the time I was 20 and just out of college. I would have been brought up to respect my elders. It was only due to having a conversation about my boss with a friend who was older and wiser and who pointed out to me that this wasn't "normal" that encouraged me to find another job.

The experiance has made me stronger in the long run. As I mentioned earlier my last boss was a bully but I was well capable of standing my ground with him...which is why I took it upon myself to point out to the young staff coming in (as my friend had pointed out to me) that they didn't have to sit and take it but to stand up to him....thankfully my new bosses are pussycats and its a pleasure working here.

tomthumb
this site may be useful
or [broken link removed]
or http://www.leymann.se/ who was the person who first documented and exposed bullying in the workplace calling it mobbing.


Riddler

ClubMan said:

Was the bully boss in that position for the full four years? Why did people put up with him/her for four years without doing something including finding a new job if necessary?

Click to expand...

I tought I was mad staying there so long. But my record has since been smashed.

I was looking for other jobs. It was not bad all the time. Jobs were hard to find at the time.

I stood up to the guy - but more often than not the effort was pointless.

Some very interesting reading above, both in terms of what to do if your the target, or indeed if you have staff reporting to you & may be unaware fo the fact that something you are doing, might indeed be a form of bullying.

IMHO, bullying in the workplace is becoming more & more common, it may be directly targeted at you, or more general and targeted at a group of employees including yourself. I think this is where the help of a trade union can be very valuable, although they are not always present in smaller companies & in recent years, trade unions have not been as strong as they once were (there are pros & cons to this mind you).

I'm noticing more & more how some larger organisations are now trying to recruit new employees, or promote people into more senior roles without offering them the same package as their counterparts, it's cheap, it's a step towards the disgraceful conduct of Irish Ferries etc .... & sadly, its becoming all the more common in modern day Ireland.

All in all, the easiest option open to anyone who is the victum of bullying, is to go look for another job and move on ... then investigate the potential for hitting your previous employer with a law suit for constructive dismissal ... kick them where it hurts, negative publicity & financial pain is all most of these companies understand anymore imho.

Cheers

G>
[broken link removed]