have also been to quite a few black tie weddings and
a) never had a free bar, at any point
b) many of the male guests wore a black suit with a black tie - much nicer than the tux & dicky bow look and perfectly in keeping with the invitation.
A "Black Tie" invitation doesn't mean that you must wear a tie, it means that you should arrive in formal wear i.e. Morning Suit with Top Hat or, alternatively, a Tuxedo. As the Groom and party are usually dressed on Morning Suits it has become customary for gentlemen to wear a tuxedo to a wedding, so as not to clash with the wedding party.
A black tie invitation to me would mean I wouldn't be attending. Not because of expense, simply because it crosses the line where GUESTS on your special day, become PROPS or EXTRAs in your little self obsessed production number.
Well this is my brother....so I reckon Ill be attending...the irony is my brother doesnt have a matching pair socks to his name as far as I know, so I think this is his fiance's idea. At the end of the day I too think its excessive, especially for our older uncles who usually would wear their "good suit", now they have to go out and hire.
Well by each to their own, I was refering to the bride and groom. Its their special day, a one off (hopefully ;o) ) for the rest of us its just another wedding. You cant please everyone all the time anyway, so they might as well just please themselves. For the record, I think its pretentious and my brother is getting a fair amount teasing from my other 3 brothers!