Best put-downs

Ok.... keeping with Groucho Marx then....

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
 
To someone of short stature...

I hope when you go home Snow White beats the sh*t out of you!
 


In fairness if you're easily offended then maybe looking at a thread entitled "best put-downs" isn't such a good idea. Chances are pretty high that you'll read something you don't like. Even if some of them are a bit extreme I think they're meant as a joke.
 
Margie said:
The best way to 'put-down' someone is to ignore them.
Click to expand...

This is utter rudeness in my opinion. The 'best' thing to do surely is discuss the problem like an adult.

However this thread is not about what people would actually say out loud to somebody. But many of the posts are making me laugh out loud
 
PM1234 said:
discuss the problem like an adult.
Click to expand...

How, by using some of the suggestions mentioned. hmmm

i'd rather ignore someone than pass some of the comments mentioned. While the first few were quite funny, they went downhill after that. But if we're talking about thinking these things and not saying them fair enough.
 
sandymount said:
Billy Connolly to heckler

"I don't come to where you work and tell you how to sweep up"
Click to expand...


Not a put down as such, but I love the one where Billy is observed by a passer by, in some discomfort, lying on his back on a pavement:

"Oh, did you fall?"

"No, I'm trying to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket! "

 

I did say it was the nastiest I'd ever heard, and it's also not one I would ever use myself. The thread title is not the most amusing put-down, it's the best, and that particular one worked very effectively when I saw it used.
 
I noticed a nice put-down from Elizabeth Mitchell playing the ice-cold school principal to Tim Allen as the smartass Santa Clause character in The Santa Clause 2 today (don't ask!);

"Ah, a battle of wits, and you've come unarmed"
 
I don't want to get banned for this but:
sandymount said:
Billy Connolly to heckler

"I don't come to where you work and tell you how to sweep up"
Click to expand...

Jimmy Carr to heckler: "I don't come to your place of work and take sailors' c*cks from your mouth."
 
PMU said:
I don't want to get banned for this but:

Jimmy Carr to heckler: "I don't come to your place of work and take sailors' c*cks from your mouth."
Click to expand...

Gave me an idea for a put down.


You're banned!!!
 
" When his mother took him out in the pram - people used to gather around and say Ahhhh Looook isn't that a beauuuuutiful pram "
 
Roy 'Chubby' Brown
To a heckler....when the doctor told you to exercise with dumb-bells he didn't mean going for a walk with ya mother and ya lass!
 
jaybird said:
I love the heckler put downs! One I heard a while ago:

Heckler to rotund comedian: "Why are you so fat?"
Comedian: "Cos everytime I f***ked your mother she gave me a biscuit"

Click to expand...

Brilliant
 
"I wont argue with an idiot you will just drag me down to your level and win by experience "!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register