Best put-downs

Or

Do you know what would look good on you?

A rottweiler

Or

You remind me of something small and furry

Yeah an old sandwich

Or

I'm a man of simple tastes

And boy are you simple!
 
When James Dillon was Minister for Agriculture, some in the farming community felt he knew very little about farming.

He was heckled one night by one of those farmers who asked him,
" How many toes has a pig ?"

Barely pausing in his speech, he replied" Look down at your feet, and count "
 
"... he's got a face only a mother could love .."


"She's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp !!" <courtesy of 'Only Fools and Horses'>
 
You should learn from your parents mistakes....use birth control.

I like your red shirt, it matches your eyes.
 
You wouldn't get a jump of a trampoline...
You have a face like a bag of chisels...
If I had a box full of xxxxxxx I wouldn't give you one...
I now know why alcohol was invented...
 
Could have sworn you had a handle on your back since you've been picked up so many times.
 
About the nastiest I've ever heard

Nobody loves you, not even your parents. I mean you don't even have a birth cert, just an apology from the abortion clinic.
 
Groucho Marx when leaving a party one night:

“I’ve has a wonderful evening… but this wasn’t it.”
 
Am I the only one who finds those last posts by seagull and csirl very offensive and not really appropriate comments on this website.

The best way to 'put-down' someone is to ignore them.

Since when did AAM become a site to find the best way to offend someone? Boggles the mind.
 
I agree, those jokes are pretty bad taste.
But the thread itself is absolutely hilarious!
Nice one Liam!
Nicola
 
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