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( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
There is a girl I sort of work with who makes a job out of everything - the ordering of the 16 office diaries is one that comes to mind. I call her the DDQ (department drama queen) and think she should use the following auto reply:
I am in the office but not working...
Another friend started working in a help desk and for the first few weeks wanted to answer the phone with