Baby Surname? Engaged couple, change the name at birth or at wedding?

Bronte said:

Names can be changed by deed poll if required. It is a simple enough procedure and costs little.

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It's hardly accurate to describe changing a person's name by deed poll as a "simple enough procedure".

John Rambo said:

It's hardly accurate to describe changing a person's name by deed poll as a "simple enough procedure".

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Why?

csirl said:

It is important to keep the father of a child involved in the child's upbringing. Giving a child the father's surname helps preserve the link and bond between the child and his/her father and incentivises the father to stay involved.

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Sorry this makes no sense. Whatever name a child has is irrelevant. What is important is that the child is genetically his and more important that he is interested in taking care of his offspring. If someone is so superficial as to base one's relationship based on a name than that person is really not interested in their offspring.

What about all the women all over the world whose child does not have their name?

csirl said:

It is important to keep the father of a child involved in the child's upbringing. Giving a child the father's surname helps preserve the link and bond between the child and his/her father and incentivises the father to stay involved. Not giving the child the father's surname sends out the wrong message to both the father and the child. Essentially tell's the father that he is not wanted and tells the child that his/her heritiage - remember that it's his/her father we're talking about, is worthless and should be discarded.

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So by this logic, does not giving the mothers name send the wrong message and tell her she is worthless and should be discarded?
Fathers shouldnt need to be 'incentivised' to stay involved with their child, particularly if it is a female child who may later change her name upon marriage, will a father disown a married daughter because she no longer has his name?

csirl said:

There are also genetic reasons. It's much easier to avoid sibling relationships when both siblings have the fathers surname. Believe it or not, cases of half-siblings having relationships do happen. Think about it - both are likely to be of similar age and grow up not to far apart from one another. In cases where the father is not on the scene for either, chances are if the meet, and its not entirely unlikely, they will not suspect that they may be siblings. And it may not just be siblings, we could be talking about cousins not knowing they are cousins, which is even more likely if both families live in the same area. Not as uncommon as you think and is beginning to become a problem in poorer parts of some cities worldwide.

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While this is certainly a possibility, I dont see how a child carrying the fathers name stops it from happening. If a child has their fathers name but doesnt know their father, how are they to ascertain that the 'smith' they meet and begin to date has the same father (especially if the other child doesnt know the father but simply carries his name as well).

Names are irrelevant in this situation, whats relevant are the relationships that children have with their father - if the father is not on the scene at all then he is a bad father and it makes no difference if the child has his name or not - its not going to preserve any 'heritage' if the child simply never sees or has a relationship with his father.

Which reminds me I have a half sibling of the other sex living about 100Km from where we lived as children who bears the name of neither of my parents. Lots of Irish people do, they are everywhere.

Bronte said:

Which reminds me I have a half sibling of the other sex living about 100Km from where we lived as children who bears the name of neither of my parents. Lots of Irish people do, they are everywhere.

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I would think in todays more enlightened society people tend to know who their siblings and half siblings are, compared to a time where single parenthood was shameful and grandmothers would pretend to be the mother etc...