Awkward colleague; how should I handle him?

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Mel

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I am supervising the work of someone who has come from a client site to our head office, and is being difficult regarding adhering to our procedures, and taking guidance from someone younger, who has been in teh company a shorter time. He is also quite disruptive and distracting to other people in the office, and exaggerates his experience and achievements.

How do you deal with someone like this? I don't really want to make a fuss, but rather learn some strategies to handle him myself. Are there particular techniques for dealing with people like this, any tips or tricks?
 
Mel said:
I had a very bad experience in the past with someone like this who had changed from a 'hands on' to an office-based career later in life- fair or not to say, I found that he could not handle working with younger women at the same or higher level, played "one-up" games, fostered/believed in a 'them and us' culture with the men and women in the office, etc. That individual caused me to change jobs as we worked in a 2-person team, and it wore me down.
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But that has nothing to do with your current colleague surely or are you projecting these problems onto him too?

These are just some examples of the daily behaviour. Alone they probably sound petty, but when it's an ongoing thing it starts to wear you down.
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Have to say that they sound quite petty to me alright and I can't see how there are any reasonable grounds for complaint here. If you don't get on with him so be it - you just have to manage that yourself but nothing that you have mentioned would seem like any sort of misconduct or behaviour meriting some sort of reprimand or discipline. Of course if, in the course of his work, he persistently flouts clearly outlined procedures and work practices then that is a matter for his boss to deal with.
 
I don't know how to quote your replies:

RainyDay:
He reports to nobody - neither department that he would be associated with wants to touch him. He is a contracter.

ClubMan:
I don't think I'm projecting my own issues. He annoys everybody, as did the last person. Some people are insufferable. The problem here, as in the last case, is that I am the only person dealing on a one to one basis with the person - the others are just looking on.

While the issues i'm sure sound petty, somebody interrupting you daily to reclarify something that you took the trouble to DRAW on a whiteboard for them, just because they don't like it is inefficient, timewasting for both people concerned, and frankly most annoying.

I'm not asking for help with anything like disciplinary measures or anything hr-related. He is an immature power-hungry and attention-seeking person.
I'm just wondering if someone with more experience in supervising / managing other people can give me some practical tips on how MY behaviour or general approach can help me to get a better response from him.
 
Like the Tayto ad...theres always one.

I find the best way to deal with these type of people is just to be professional, dont take it personally, dont let yourself get annoyed by them, be assertive with them and dont take any crap from them. Sounds vague but you cant always work with people like yourself.

I also find when you are nice to these kind of people you just get further trampled on so remove that niceness, dont be a rude or anything, but just be professional. Even things like how you talk to them is important, look them in the eye, your posture should be one that depicts strenght, dont slouch on a chair when talking to them etc.
 
Mel said:
RainyDay:
He reports to nobody - neither department that he would be associated with wants to touch him. He is a contracter.
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He must report to somebody - Who signs off on his weekly or monthly invoice? Who has asked him to take this role on the project?
 
Who is responsible for hiring him as a contractor? If his personal foibles are indeed causing problems with efficiency and getting the work done then you should draw the attention of the relevant person to this and mabe suggest that retaining him might not be the most efficient use of resources. However you should make sure that your personal feelings about him are not clouding your judgement on this in order not to treat him or anybody else unfairly. If it's simply a case of him annoying you but otherwise doing the job acceptably then you will just have to learn to live with it. On the point of interruptions etc. you simply need to lay down boundaries and ground rules - e.g. no unscheduled interruptions once you have covered certain matters in a meeting or design session.

Post crossed with previous one.
 
If you are more senior on the project and feel that his presence is not benefiting the project and/or company then you should raise this with your manager or other senior management suggest that he be reassigned or his contract terminated. However this should only be done on the basis of professional opinion and if it is supported by the evidence/facts and not, as I suspect is happening here, on the basis of personal prejudices and other issues.
 
If this guy is a contractor and awkward, why is he still there after this time? Surely the easiest thing is to not have his contract renewed. Does he have some special skills that are hard to come by?
I posted that before reading about his cousin. I guess being mean to him might just constitute a CLM.
 
Clubman

I think you're being a bit harsh. Why is it that sometimes when someone posts looking for help, the first response is to doubt what they're saying and pick holes in it and end up blaming them.

>>If you don't get on with him so be it - you just have to manage that yourself <<
>>you will just have to learn to live with it<<

That's what she's asking for help with. There's no need to be so quick to tell her she has no grounds for complaint. She said she doesn't want to make a fuss.

Mel, if he doesn't have a clear line of management you might consider just mentioning to your own manager that you find it difficult. Even let off a bit of steam to them if appropriate. Whether they can do anything or not at least they will realise that your job has become more difficult and you will subsequently look even better when you are seen to be dealing with it professionally.

There is indeed a lot of information about "how to deal with difficult people". You can probably get some info on the web in the field of human resources/personality analysis/industrial relations. Spend some time doing searches under 'managing conflict' or 'personality issues in the workplace' or 'coping with difficult colleagues' or something. Try the library there might be something.

There are many tactics and tricks but it's hard to be specific without really knowing the guy or why he is coming across this way. I suppose one of things I've learnt is that there is a reason people behave the way they do. Think about the type of person he is and what might be going on in his head and you might get some insight into how to make it easier to work with him. Look at the language he uses and use soem of the same words back at him when you want him to do something, that sort of thing.

Don't let unimportant stuff doesn't affect you, like him talking about how great he is, it doesn't matter. Try to figure out why he does it. He might be an ok guy who's a bit deluded or insecure about his job or feeling a bit threatened, or he might just be a bully, or maybe that's just his normal way of behaving all the time, who knows.

The rest of the stuff about him being loud and disruptive - it's difficult to deal with. It's probably best to be firm with him as SteelBlue05 says and don't take it personally.

>>Even things like how you talk to them is important, look them in the eye, your posture should be one that depicts strenght, dont slouch on a chair when talking to them etc.<<

Very very important. Don't look as if you are being agressive and somehow threatening him or it might make him worse, but be absolutely confident and professional. That will probably help you as well and also looks good to other people.

Good luck and I would absolutely do a bit of research, there has been reams of information written about this stuff

A
 
annR said:
I think you're being a bit harsh. Why is it that sometimes when someone posts looking for help, the first response is to doubt what they're saying and pick holes in it and end up blaming them.

blah, blah, blah....
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I didn't doubt what she was saying or blame her - I just gave my opinion and advice as requested. Just because somebody has a particular opinion of a situation in which they find themselves doesn't necessarily mean that they are always analysing it accurately and sometimes an objective and critical point of view from an outsider can concentrate the mind and clarify matters. If some people consider this "harsh" then that's their problem. Could people please get over this whole boring issue of my tone etc. and stick to the matter in hand? :rolleyes:
 
I don't want to suggest his resignation or contract termination - I think that woud be OTT for something that can probably be resolved easier with a bit more 'people skills' on my part.
He is still there because the company has a lot of people on a contract basis that are still treated like permanent staff, it is a good company to work for. Also I'm sure, the connections help, but he has also sacrificed a lot by being away from his family every week for a long time, and in my opinion they do owe it to him to look after him now.

annR, Thank you for the practical suggestions; that is exactly what I was looking for. I did vent a bit in my first post, but from ClubMan's response I did wonder whether I was expressing clearly what I actually wanted.

ClubMan, thanks for your help too; I didn't take offense.
I will probably edit the more revealing details from my posts, I hope that's ok.

Thanks again everyone.
 
Thanks Mel - another case of vicarious trauma on the part of people other than the original contributor I guess. :) I was just suggesting reassignment or termination of the contract if, on any objective analysis, this individual was not contributing to the overall success of the project/company or maybe, by his behaviour and habits, was actually militating against this. If this was indeed the case (even if I personally don't see that this has been established as so based on the information posted so far) then I can see no alternative and anybody who didn't follow through would not be acting in the best interests of the company.

Probably no harm in removing some of the more identifiable details from your earlier post(s) alright.
 
Mel - with all due respect to SteelBlue05's exhortations to 'professionalism', you might find some useful techniques ...? The guy sounds like a grade-A a**hole!
 
Mel said:
being difficult regarding adhering to our procedures, and taking guidance from someone younger, who has been in teh company a shorter time. He is also quite disruptive and distracting to other people in the office, and exaggerates his experience and achievements [...] annoys everybody [...] Some people are insufferable [...] interrupting you daily to reclarify something that you took the trouble to DRAW on a whiteboard for them [...] power-hungry and attention-seeking person
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Just reminds me a bit — except with the genders reversed — of my own boss...:eek:
 
Gosh DrMoriarty; I feel like the office wagon thanks to your summary!
Thanks for the suggestions! ;)
 
I particularly recommend this one —
THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers,
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— just be sure to say it every time he finishes a sentence! :D
 
DrMoriarty said:
Mel said:
being difficult regarding adhering to our procedures, and taking guidance from someone younger, who has been in teh company a shorter time. He is also quite disruptive and distracting to other people in the office, and exaggerates his experience and achievements [...] annoys everybody [...] Some people are insufferable [...] interrupting you daily to reclarify something that you took the trouble to DRAW on a whiteboard for them [...] power-hungry and attention-seeking person
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Just reminds me a bit — except with the genders reversed — of my own boss...:eek:
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But you have to admit that these criticisms might be classed as pretty subjective and there's nothing obviously clear cut there in terms of the individual causing trouble in the workplace?
 
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