I would agree with this. I especially like the honeymoon idea. But spending so much money on a day out would really boil my blood if it put me in debt for a number of years. I used to be careless with money in the past and getting into debt for silly little things that led to bigger money problems. There is no way I want that to happen again just because my girlfriend wants a big day.I got married seven years ago, and still rue the amount of money we squandered on our wedding, inviting guests we hardly new (parents friends they do bring decent presents though) stupid photos baa humbug. But we had a great day, nevertheless it is still only a day so should be kept in perspective.
Thats my rant but the biggest mistake we made was the honneymoon. For the last three months before your wed you are very busy and quite stressed at times, then you have a massive day where you are the centre of attention of 150 people, two days later you are sitting in some dodgy honeymoon hotel with just each other it is a massive anti climax. We went to Lake Garda full of honey mooners all with the same bored faces. Especially since most couples nowadays live togeather first the honeymoon is a bit of an irrelevence IMO.
My advise is to take a long Weekend in some European city after wedding to relax, then come home and enjoy the fun with your friends Then go on some serious trip i.e month in AUS maybe the following summer. When all the wedding stress has long gone.
One other thought I could not give a monkeys about my friends getting married I am really happy for them if they do but have no real interest in going to their weddings. I know its important for my family to be there so would you not take your families to a small church service and then a really nice meal in a flash restaurant that night. Then blow the 20K on a on a decent party for your mates (no dodgy bands )and a great time for the two of you instead of providing over cooked lamb cutlets to people you wont recognise in the street in 10 years.
Just a thought.
I would agree with this. I especially like the honeymoon idea. But spending so much money on a day out would really boil my blood if it put me in debt for a number of years. I used to be careless with money in the past and getting into debt for silly little things that led to bigger money problems. There is no way I want that to happen again just because my girlfriend wants a big day.
luckly we won't be in debt, i've pay for it out of my salary next year. but i do see people getting into a lot of debt and that i can't understand.
on the honeymoon, well we'll go for a week relax and a week doing stuff. off to cancun and the states so there will be lots to keep me interested.
Wedding advice - Don't let your wife to be see this!!
Clearly it really is a huge issue for some people. If the extended family are going to talk about you because you didn't invite "X" then the extended family need to get a life. Then, when their weddings come around and you're not invited, why would that bother you? This is exactly my point! The whole invite thing is only being done (in the scenario of your example) to save face or to make sure people don't talk or to repay someone who invited you to theirs!! But that's not being honest, and it's not really being fair to yourself or to the people you invite. I don't understand why mature adults (and presumably that's what we are when we prepare to get married!) are afraid to not invite someone to their wedding!! I'm sorry but really I can't swallow that. If someone doesn't invite me somewhere, then I completely take their point. They don't particularly want or need me there, and they don't want to pretend otherwise, and that's fine.Well, if I was getting married and didnt invite several people, it would be the talk of the extended family. Then, whebn their wedding comes around, you and probably your borthers and sisters dont get invited to it. Its all whispered about and people generally hate that. But if you can just accept that you are not going to get an invitation to every last one of your cousins weddings, then invite who you like to yours. But it is a very real issue even if it is a petty one.
Yes but thats the way people are. Also, if you invite someone that you are quite close to, you'll have to invite their wife/husband. Invite them then you might feel you have to invite their kids if you're already inviting his/hers brothers kids. Its really all about how they are connected. My sister invited all those she felt close to at work. One girl who she works with is my other sisters mother in law but does not really get on with her so much. She didnt invite her and was most definitely told that the no invitation was not appreciated.Clearly it really is a huge issue for some people. If the extended family are going to talk about you because you didn't invite "X" then the extended family need to get a life. Then, when their weddings come around and you're not invited, why would that bother you? This is exactly my point! The whole invite thing is only being done (in the scenario of your example) to save face or to make sure people don't talk or to repay someone who invited you to theirs!! But that's not being honest, and it's not really being fair to yourself or to the people you invite. I don't understand why mature adults (and presumably that's what we are when we prepare to get married!) are afraid to not invite someone to their wedding!! I'm sorry but really I can't swallow that. If someone doesn't invite me somewhere, then I completely take their point. They don't particularly want or need me there, and they don't want to pretend otherwise, and that's fine.
One girl who she works with is my other sisters mother in law but does not really get on with her so much. She didnt invite her and was most definitely told that the no invitation was not appreciated.
. The one change Id make is to have a DJ for afters, everyone repeat...you cant spend too much on the DJ.
Specify only cash as wedding gifts
There is so much politics surrounding wedding invites!
If I ever get married, I want it to be small and intimate with about 50 people.
Luckily my sister had a big blow-out wedding and invited all our aunts and uncles, so I feel I can get away with not inviting any of them without upsetting anyone. Also luckily I have not been invited to any cousins weddings (older brothers and sisters were invited), so I wont feel I'll have to return any invites.
My rule will be : if their numbers are not in my mobile phone (i.e. people with whom I'm in close contact) then they wont be getting an invite.
Hopefully that would keep the cost down too (mind you I'll have a huge budget for the honeymoon!).
My rule will be : if their numbers are not in my mobile phone (i.e. people with whom I'm in close contact) then they wont be getting an invite.
I am recently engaged myself and have the church, hotel, photographer and music already booked for my weddng in 2008. Decide on a date and speak to your priest and hotel first then sort out the rest. The hotel is approx 37.00 euro per head for 4 course meal with choice of main course and appetizer. At first we thought that having wine at meal was a real rip off but then thought the other option of buying a drink for everyone at the reception was a real rip off i.e some smart a*se ordering a double etc and we left with a hefty bill the next morning. The hotel are charging us 8.00 corkage and we are going to buy the wine ourselves - look for special offers and start stocking up now!! We are going to make our own invitations - nothing too fancy becasue we all know that they are thrown into the bin! My fiance has a big family of cousins where as I have only a handful but we decided from the start we are only inviting people who actually mean something to us to the full day, as this is our day and we both want the special people in our lives there to share the day with us instead of people we never see. At present we have approx 150 to day and the same to evening reception. We have a good local band approx 1000.00 and local dj for approx 300.00. Im going to buy my dress in the sale and buy 3 bridesmaid dresses that my bridesmaids can actually wear again ie. knee lenght dresses, instead of long dresses left hanging in a wardrobe. Check out www.simplyweddings.com or do a google search on weddings in your area i.e weddings in Meath (or whatever county you live in)
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