Au Pair Pros and Cons

Thanks for the advice HurlingFan. Our preference is to have one on one care for the younger one, and to have the older one socialising/learning with his own age. Money might dictate that we may have to change our preferences somewhat, at the moment if we have this approach my wife will only come out with about €400 per month after childcare expenses. Not ideal, but at least we would not be in the red.
 
That's great feedback to hear lluvia, thanks for posting. I think it is imperative that an agency is used so both parties have someone experienced in this type of situation, as far as I know a lot of them would set out exactly what is and is not expected by and of both parties. This is exactly what we would insist on so that there is no confusion.
 
Hi. Speaking as a former au pair and as a parent who has employed an aupair I will offer the following advice.
1. Au pair agencies IMHO are not really necessary. I think you would do a far better job selecting your own au pair rather than letting an agency do it for you. Often you think you are getting extra reassurance by using a third party but this is not always the case. You must vet the au pair yourself and be absolutely sure she/he is right for your family.
2. Try to get someone older than school leaving age - there are many counties where childcare is a highly regarded career and students are required to study for 4 years at university level ... try scandanavian countries or nz. A student who has recently completed his/her degree and is looking for a year abroad is ideal.
3. Bear in mind that you will be sharing your home with this person. They will be around all the time - it is their home too. Although you may not need the au pair to work long hours, they will be under your feet a lot of the time - you need to be prepared for that.
4. Beware of the "au pair factor" ... having another woman in the house (especially a young pretty woman) has an effect on the dynamic of your household.
Good luck, an au pair can be a really good experience for your family - a foreign person can be a learning experience for all.
 
Thanks Henny Penny, good advice. Any advice re where to go looking (or where not to go looking) if we did not use an agency.

Re having a young pretty one - may be hard to avoid getting a young one, but we'll certainly try to avoid getting a pretty one, it would make things so much less complicated.
 
You will be like Lynette in Desperate Housewives: "We're looking for somebody experienced and preferably unattractive."
 
Cool, ta HP!

Lynette? Which one is she - I hope she is the cute little hispanic one, if I am to be compared to a woman I may as well be one that I find attractive. Now that is the kind of au pair we definitely do not need around!!
 
I'd worry about the children learning to speak when one of their main care givers has broken English.
Would it not be a problem for their language development?
 
I have a theory that an attractive woman is less likely to be open to an affair with a married man, due to better options being available, so maybe the prettier the better?
 
Shei said:
I have a theory that an attractive woman is less likely to be open to an affair with a married man, due to better options being available, so maybe the prettier the better?
Click to expand...

Nice theory! I tell you what, let me PM you my wifes number and I'll let you and her discuss it.

Whatever about affairs, it would have to be a distraction having a very pretty woman around, or a second one I should say!

Re broken English, I heard a true story the other day of a mother who brought her two and a half year old for lots of tests because he was not acquiring language at all well. It turned out he and his philippino nanny were chatting away in phillippino all day when the parents were out!!

I'd love my little fellas to pick up another language, it would do them no harm, not worried about them hearing some broken english, assuming that the au pairs primary language is not english that is.
 
David_Dublin said:
Cool, ta HP!

Lynette? Which one is she - I hope she is the cute little hispanic one, if I am to be compared to a woman I may as well be one that I find attractive. Now that is the kind of au pair we definitely do not need around!!
Click to expand...

Ha ha not a fan of derperate housewives then.

Lynette is the blonde one with 4 kids. Married to tom run the pizza restaurant together.

The one your talking about is gabby (eva longoria parker)
 
No problem david dublin, the agency I used is in lesson street, www.linguaviva.com , you are not assigned to a particular au pair. You get to go through a lot of files of au pairs that are available when you need them and you get to choose from the lot. I know this because before I left the family I went with them to help choosing the next PRETTY one.
In their case it wasn't much of a problem if they were pretty or not as the man wasn't particularly very attractive..
 
My sister had an au pair to look after her first-born from the time he was a year old until he was 3.

She had several au pairs, all of them spanish, all of them great girls and all still in touch 15 years later.

It was an excellent experience for all involved and my nephew learned to understand spanish but he refused to speak it for reasons known only to himself.

I would not worry about the kid having problems and learning to speak poor english due to being with a non-native english speaker all day. Do you really think these kids (the au pairs I mean) will continue to speak to your children in english when your away? Of course they won't! They'll just revert to their native language and your children will soon learn to understand.

You are probably better to get successive au pairs of the same nationality for your children to get the most out of it. That way they will get a good grounding in a foriegn language over a period of time.
 
that's really good advice Ancutza. Thanks all for the advice. I think come September we will try to get an au pair so, nothing I have read here or heard talking with friends has dissuaded me.
 
If you are organising an au pair it would be essential to thoroughly check all references. Validate by writing to and also a follow up telephone call. Vital IMHO.
 
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