are fathers to contribute to school/preschool

B

Blossy

Registered User
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Hi all,

Am trying to find an answer for this, i am a single mom, working full time, going to college part time, at the moment i pay my mortgage everymonth and i pay childcare for my 4 year old @ 600 per month, i also send him to preschool 3 mornings a week @ 165 per month.

my question is does the father have to contribute to this, or school books uniforms etc. or does the maintenance cover all this. i had to pay deposit and month in advance and his weekly childcare cost last week....495...more than my week wage!!!! , he refused to help me out?!)

the father works 3 days and receives benefit after this, i earning early to mid 20k per annum and am severly struggling. but i refuse to give up my job to live off the state. or stay at home full time when i am capable of working. i understand once he starts school it will ease. but does the maintenance given supposed to cover large bills when they arise?

legal question nothing more!!
 
What does your maintenance agreement say on this? Some agreement have specific clauses that the maintenance amounts includes this but not that..or is a just one single payment for everything?
 
the agreement is verbal, we go halves on birthdays and christmas presents but was just thinking it should be the same for school, but he wont help. i am afraid to take it to court or go official incase the maintenance payments are reduced as he is on benefits now!
 
I don't think you will get a definitive answer to this. Yes, maintenance is payable, and the amount depends on the father's income (i.e., you can't have money he does not have).

Exactly how much is reasonable is something you agree among yourselves, or ask the court to decide. A formal agreement is no bad thing.
 
Why do you pay childcare and pre school?
Is his childcare full time and then you choose to send him to preschool on top of this?
If he wasn't in preschool would creche costs go up?
 
he is in childminder 5 days a week, and preschool from 9-12 3 days! so she drops and collects him on the days he has school!

ya i guess no definite answer is right! its tough to come up with an amount that will cover everything, just seems unfair that when the big costs come in you have to suffer on! :(

i have it been manageing along anyway, will just put some away for his school costs. had to do that anyway but would have been nice to know i could get help if needed! thanks for all your replies.
 
Really my question is, the pre school, is it a cost that is neccessary or is pre school something you feel he should be doing?
Is the cost worth it?
School costs are all well and good but is this an unneccessary cost?
I only ask as I am a single parent myself and my daughter is in senior infants and there are plenty of letters home about this, that and the other and if I were to allow her to do all those things I would be broke.

If I chose to allow her I couldn't expect anyone to bear the costs but myself.

In my case my daughter went to a creche which included Montessori class in the morning. It worked out at €600 per month for 5 days per week including the 5 Monessori classes. it might be worth taking a look at a creche if you feel strongly that he should have pre school classes. Might save some money.
 
Hiya, i had him in a creche that was near my home and cost 850 per month, so i took him out and put him in childcare down to 600 was delighted with myself.

When i took him for swimming lessons a few weeks back i was shocked to see he wouldnt follow instruction, so i decided on preschool then, he has no brothers or sister or cousins, only grandchild on either side, although he has a few friends and is very socialable i dont think he would be ready for school. last thing i wanted was to be up and down to the school re his behaviour, when wiht me one to one he is great, we sit down eat dinner, read, and colouring and stuff so i saw no problem until i took him to swimming!! so i know its a cost im adding to myself but i reckon ill be glad of it next year! your idea is great but the lists are horrendous to get him in anywhere!

the way i look at it though its only going to be abt 7 months of it now anyway!

thanks for the advice, much appreciated!!
 
never mentioned, it was the dad that suggested it, and he claimed it was a disgrace i hadnt considerred it! great when they have the best ideas and judge you, but wont contribute to it!! :)
 
Blossy,

Pre-school isn't totally necessary, I do agree its great in socialising kids and giving them a grounding in a class-room type setting, but your little boy should settle into a school routein quite soon after starting school as you mentioned he has the ability to sit quietly and work away at artwork with you.
Don't take to heart what happened at Swimming Class. The one my daughter went to were adamant that children beginning class should be at least 5 1/2 the reasons being lung development and secondary to that they don't expect kids younger than that to universally have the ability to follow instructions during a physical education class, maybe he just wasn't ready for it.

M
 
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