Amount for wedding gift?

I'm going to be invited to the afters of a wedding in August but thankfully I think I'll be away at the time (even if I wasn't I wouldn't go). Am I still expected to give a present?? The bride is someone I know through a friend but we're not at all close.

Cahir..

All these things are completely up to yourself ,but personally if I was invited to the afters of a wedding I would not buy a gift.

If people were expected to buy a gift you could have hundreds at the afters

A friend of mine says he'd rather receive a speeding ticket in the post than a wedding invitation.
I'm getting married in 2 weeks and have told everyone -- "No presents. Coming along is a present enough". No doubt I'll end up with a trailer-load of those bronze Genesis statues and Newbridge steak knives.
I'll be re-gifting for the rest of me life.

CN624 said:

On the subject of what / how much to give I've just received an invite saying
that they don't have a wedding list as they already have all the cutlery etc they need but that 'cold hard cash' will be fine!

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I think that is the height of rudeness. In that situation I would be otherwise engaged that day and I wouldn't send a present either:mad: (I'd usually send a gift if invited to the full wedding but couldn't attend)

Tracking this and the communion thread I think that both demonstrate something amiss in how we respond to big(gish) milestones in life. I'm as fond of the filthy lucre as the next person but there is more to life than money (no, really).

CD- how about writing the couple a nice letter saying that you are devasted you can't come, delighted that they have eschewed additional possessions and that, in the same spirit, you are making a donation on their behalf to a charity to spread the good karma for their happy day. They might get the message!

Ragazza- I've been in a similar situation and I really think a gift in that situation should be token only. Something that means something to them, has an association with a special place etc? (Of course if you are time poor, these gifts can be more troublesome than the big money variety, but it sounds like you are willing to go the extra mile for this particular wedding)

Have to say that I don't consider myself a scabby person (well mayb a little bit!) but for a collegue it would defo only be €100 per couple which goes up to €120 for friends & €150 for family/close friends etc. & my choice would be to not give it in cash. I have seen people get a card with cash & go and spend it on groceries!! uh.
If they don't have a wedding list & I don't know them very well then I would consider a voucher for somewhere like Arnotts. But for friends & family I think it is nice to give an actual pressie......although I would always run it by the couple first.

As for afters.....I do think it is nice to give a token - but only to a max of €50........

oh and i don't like this train of thought of ' how much is a 5 course meal etc' determining the present. You are invited as a guest ...the present is not to pay you way for the day but as a 'present!'

Winnie said:

I have seen people get a card with cash & go and spend it on groceries!! uh.
............

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Yes I have a friend who got a lot of vouchers for the Blanchardstown centre for her wedding and she ended up doing grocery shopping in Dunnes.

Winnie said:

oh and i don't like this train of thought of ' how much is a 5 course meal etc' determining the present. You are invited as a guest ...the present is not to pay you way for the day but as a 'present!'

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Totally agree!

This has turned pointless as people are just ranting.

Thread locked by CCOVICH.