Am I dead ?

G

Graham_07

Registered User
Messages
2,890
I just got this email :-


Attn: Beneficiary.

I found your name in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid (Contractors, Inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from American, Europe, Asia plus Middle east and Africans) among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the Standard Chartered Bank, HSBC, Barclays Bank, Natwest Bank, and ATM payment. Your name appeared among the beneficiaries who will receive a part-payment of US$15.5 million and has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund.

However, we received an email from one Dr. Robert Walter who told us that he is your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last week.


Dr Robert Walter account co-ordinate as follows:

Bank of Lebanon

A/c no: 890458984589

Routing No: bl 275-79665

Aba no: BL-ANAJFG-FL

Beneficiary: Dr Robert Water


He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him. We want to hear from you before we can make the transfer to confirm if you are dead or not. Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF'S(International Monetary Fund) failure to receive your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.

Kindly re-confirm these information below for immediate release of your funds if the instruction of the changes is not from you.

A. Your Full Name
B. Your Private Telephone and Fax numbers C. Your full home or office address D. Copy of your identification



Yours Sincerely,

Andrew Tweedie,
Finance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
England, London Chapter.
PHONE: +447024042748
PRIVATE MAIL: andrew.tweedie@live.com


Sooooo.....they want an email from me to confirm if I'm dead or not....there has got to be a really good way to reply to this , suggestions anyone?
 
Dear Andy,
yes unfortunately it is true, I passed away last week and am currently awaiting my entry ticket through the pearly gates. However that scoundrel "Dr" Robert Water is no more my next of kin than you are. He has been after my money for years. In fact he once tried to steal my second Ferrari (the newer one) and I had to get the guards to remove him from my holiday home in Monaco. In my short time hanging around here since my untimely death I have been thinking about how best to dispense my wealth (I never got around to writing a will) and now this additional small sum has been added to it which is great news! However I need someone to handle the payment of my fortune to the correct beneficiaries. In the meantime can you invest my part-payment in shares until I get back to you? Irish bank shares are particularly cheap at the minute. I will get back to you presently as my time here before my next move will likely be short.

Best regards,
XX
 
Dear Andy,

Thank you for contacting me. I have searched every where for my money since my untimely death last week. It was of much concern to me as to the whereabouts of this money. You see, I am currently awaiting burial and I'm not very happy with the choice of coffin. This money can now be used to purchase a far superior casket. I'll just go haunt my family now and let them know to max the credit cards. It will be a huge relief to them also that they will not be in the red for too long.

My family did not have a great deal of money to spend on my burial plot. While alive, I specifically asked for a south facing elevated plot under the third oak from the left. They have managed to put me out in the open. Again, I am very grateful for your email. I'll now ask for the better plot and haunt the bejaysus out of them until they spend my money on me.

And can I ask one favour of you. Please let Dr. Walter know that the next time some one shouts "Look out!!!" it is best he keeps his eyes open and evades the oncoming truck. Closing one's eyes in such a predicament can lead to a horrible mess. I sould know!!

Yours etc.

XXX
Deceased
 
With apologies to Ceist Beag (shame to let a good idea go)...


(continued) Because of tax legislation - amongst other reasons - I am unable to handle this personally. I would be willing to offer you 20% of my total wealth if the funds could be routed through your account. (You receive the money, deduct 20% and forward the rest to my estate. To test the system please forward details of your bank name, account number and any personal access codes. A test transmission of €2000 or whatever you can afford would be evidence of your ability to do this.

No need to tell me when it's done - I can see everything from up here...
 

 
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