Advice on upcoming separation

Status
Not open for further replies.
I would seek legal advice. Try FLAC if you cant afford a solicitor. If the kids are not dependent on you then its a simple break up of assets. I'm not sure I'd be going as gently as you are. Your work is done with your family at this point. Your wife wants out and so do you. Time to value house, sell up and split the balance post mortgage. Also what are you giving her money for every week? Your kids are adults, they can work etc. So can your wife. Time to grow a pair, sell the house, she doesnt get anything from you. Time for her to find out what work is all about. Is there an outstanding balance on your mortgage or any other loan? How much is the house worth if it sold today?
 
How much are the arrears on the mortgage?

Where did the 30k come from?

Is your skill in demand? Are you able to get work?

Are you still gambling?
 
Ok, so you should be able to get work again at a similar salary?
What other debts do you have aside from the arrears?
How much of the arrears have you cleared in the last five years?
Have you engaged with the lender?

"her only asset is a car " - your jointly owned property is also an asset. Do you have your own car?
 
Last edited:
All adult children
Assets of both, house, savings, pension(?)
Best thing is to sell the house - pay bank. - €200K equity

So total assets are 30K + 200K - 80K which is €150K, split in two is €75K each. This is sufficient to get you on your feet in a rental. Your spouse will either get work or try to get Jobseeker’s Allowance. Whether you need to pay her every week would be another question. If you can both agree to split the assets and progress with the divorce based on mediation, it will cost you both a lot less. She could rent a house large enough to take in the kids, but they would need to start paying rent.

With €30K savings you should be paying the mortgage. The kids should also be contributing to the household expenses. It makes no sense 4/5 adults living in a house and the mortgage not being paid.

Best of luck, none of this is going to be easy.
 
mary newton said:
I make about 50-70 K a year plus I do deliveries for the Chinese
Click to expand...

mary newton said:
I have savings of approximately 30 k
Click to expand...

mary newton said:
Arrears about 80k
Click to expand...

While I have every sympathy for you, you are clearly a strategic defaulter. Deliberately not paying your mortgage when you can do so.

That is why interest rates have been so high in this country. The majority are paying your mortgage for you when you can well afford to do it yourself.
 
mary newton said:
I know it’s right to sell the house but the truth is if I do I make my kids adult that they are homeless .. so I’d prefer to hold it for a while longer notwithstanding the repossession Which is inevitable.. thank you again..
Click to expand...
In the original post you said your wife refused to sell. This makes a pair of you. Neither of you paying down the mortgage. You also said it was your wife who caused the money problems when it was you who gambled away family money.

You have some decisions to make

- Why not move out and move on with your life and leave the 4 adults to do what they want with the house, based on what you've posted I've no sympathy for you when the bank comes after you as you are not paying the mortgage, living rent free 5 of you, and accumulating savings
- Why do you think your 2 adult children, the adult boyfriend, you and your wife should stay in a house none of you are paying for?
- Are the 3 children adults earning money?
- Who pays for the petrol on the wife's car the daughter is driving
- who pays for groceries and utilities

The wife's car in the daughters name is a red herring.

Pretty stupid to run down 200K of equity as well. With 5 adults.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi Mary
I am going through this at the moment. Family mediation service is very good.
If you want private PM me and I can let you know more about the process. I am in Dublin and using the Family mediation

service in Jervis Street.
 
Sounds like you need to talk to an advisor to help you unravel and sort out your finances and start legal separation and divorce.

All assets and debts should be taken into account, your 30k and the car and also the bank arrears. And your income and the need to support your wife who has been a SAHM for over 20 years.

The adult kids, unless still at uni, should be working and contributing.

Ignoring the mortgage arrears just means a forced sale and money for solicitors to repossess it. You would be better off talking to the bank I think. If you agree to sell they may be ready to deal on the arrears. But salting money away and not paying your mortgage is not a great plan.
 
It's curious to see that Mary has become a a husband!

And I note that their nonperforming mortgage was taken over by Pepper and, in 2022, had only 8 years to go.

What happens to my life insurance on my mortgage now that a new bank has taken over?

So we are or rather were with KBC until the recent takeover by Pepper. There are two policies in place one covers the mortgage in the event of my spouse or myself dying and the other is just a lump sum of 125K. I have heard stories albeit anecdotal to suggest that when a new bank takes charge...
www.askaboutmoney.com
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top