19 ways to improve your mental health

Marion

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1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The counterfoil Of All Your cheques, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, "Rock Hard."

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The State of the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Bet you feel better already! It's called therapy!


Marion
 
Marion,

How long have you been practising these improvements? :D

Did your singing go down well at the opera?
 
I often employ variants of No. 6 when doing electronic transfers to other peoples bank accounts :)

As for singing at the opera, I've been paid to!
 
How long have you been practising these improvements

To be honest sueellen, the practising has me totally stressed!

My rendition of "Un bel di vedremo" is coming along nicely though!

Regards

Madame Marion :)

Ps: I'm now practising "The fields of Athenry" for the Munster Munster Opera - coming soon to a theatre near you!
 
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