FuneraL PROTOCOL

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dmv

Registered User
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Vendor invited me to funeral, Can I get away with just going to removal, or should I go to full funeral mass and cemetary/afters. Just wondering what's the right thing to do, Thanks.
 
I didn't realise invites were the done thing now for funerals :)

You'd be fine with the removal. It's purely a mark of respect.
 
thanks for reply, i know the vendor very well but not his decesed, is it really ok just to show up for the removal
 
dmv said:
Vendor invited me to funeral, Can I get away with just going to removal, or should I go to full funeral mass and cemetary/afters. Just wondering what's the right thing to do, Thanks.
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You've obviously reservations about going to the whole thing... hence your posting on this forum.

If it was me I'd only go to the removal.
 
Personally, I would only go to a removal or funeral of someone who was either a close friend, relation or colleague or a close relative of one of these (who I might or might not have known). I find it a strange notion to "invite" someone who is only peripherally connected. Maybe this "vendor" considers you a close colleague?

You could either go to the removal or - if that doesn't feel right - send a sympathy card. We often choose the latter if it's a relative we've never met who died, and as far as I know, it's usually appreciated.
 
dmv said:
Can I get away with just going to removal
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What do you mean by "get away with" in this context? What repercussions do you anticipate if you don't go to both the removal and funeral? Is the vendor a made man or something?
 
Is the person English by any chance? As a invite to a funeral is a very English thing to do. Not like the Irish at all, who often go to funerals of people they haven't even met (but they know the daughters best friend!)
 
Consider it a mark of respect to the vendor. Therefore its important to go in my opinion. I don't think it matters which you go to though.
 
Vendor is a supplier OK, so someone who supplies goods to you has had a death in the family and has invited you a customer to it. I don't get this - I would understand if it were the other way round.
 
My old boss used to use every excuse to go to funerals. He would even go to ones for people he barely knew. Bought a black coat specially for funerals. When one of the girls in the office mam's died, he turned up at the wrong funeral. He only realised at the end when he knew no body, so he got two in that day.
 
Flexible said:
Vendor is a supplier OK, so someone who supplies goods to you has had a death in the family and has invited you a customer to it. I don't get this - I would understand if it were the other way round.
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I sometimes turn up and shake hands with the person I know as they go into the funeral and then go back to work... they will never realise you weren’t there for the main event.
 
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