Where is the love?

MandaC said:
I dont mind anyone disagreeing, it's really good to hear different points of view and try to view things from other angles, but for me it's the constant pointless nitpicking that is unnecessary and why some people probably leave. Its also very easy to get annoyed and defensive when you feel someone is trying to nitpick at you. Especially when something is close to your heart, one recent post springs to mind.

Sometimes I see a new poster and just think, two weeks max buddy, and sure enough they are gone or banished or whatever.
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I agree with this, also I think at times the moderators can be curt.
 
demoivre said:
Anyone who gets upset by what an anonymous individual says in cyber space needs to see a shrink imo.
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Agreed. When some users get upset by online comments/disagreements I'd hate to see them in the big bad world of day to day life. I've disagreed with people and they've disagreed with me, i wont be losing any sleep.
 
There's a difference, though, between a lively debate and nit picking, put downs and snide remarks, particularly if someone has recounted an experience or situation that has really upset them. This is, I think, what a lot of people find off putting and intimidating, not the fact that someone disagrees with them but that someone is trying to ridicule their post.
 
One person's attention to relevant detail is another person's nit picking.

One person's direct, fact based approach is another person's put down and ridicule.

Some say "to-mah-toe" others say "to-may-toe"...
 
ClubMan said:
One person's attention to relevant detail is another person's nit picking.

One person's direct, fact based approach is another person's put down and ridicule.

Some say "to-mah-toe" others say "to-may-toe"...
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Well, I couldn't see that reasoning standing up in a bullying at work investigation but.........
 
liaconn said:
I mean there would be a strictly judged criteria regarding where the line lay between ,for instance, 'nit picking' and 'attention to factual detail' and a decision made accordingly.
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Yeah - but what has "a bullying at work investigation" got to do with how a discussion forum such as this is run?
 
ClubMan said:
Yeah - but what has "a bullying at work investigation" got to do with how a discussion forum such as this is run?
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I was pointing out that there is a definite difference between nit picking and paying attention to factual detail and was basically saying 'well, I couldn't see your reasoning standing up in court'. (That's a saying by the way).
 
ClubMan said:
So what is it then?
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I would say:

nitpicking is someone who makes small and unneccessary criticisms which don't move the debate forward

Paying attention to factual detail is ensuring an argument doesn't go off course or become based on a flawed logic, because an important fact has been overlooked
 
liaconn said:
I was pointing out that there is a definite difference between nit picking and paying attention to factual detail and was basically saying 'well, I couldn't see your reasoning standing up in court'. (That's a saying by the way).
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ClubMan said:
So what is it then?
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liaconn said:
I would say:
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I thought you said that there was a definite (objective?) difference between the two? Are you now saying that it's a subjective issue?
nitpicking is someone who makes small and unneccessary criticisms which don't move the debate forward
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Did you actually mean "nitpicking is when someone..."? Otherwise your sentence doesn't make sense.
 
ClubMan said:
I thought you said that there was a definite (objective?) difference between the two? Are you now saying that it's a subjective issue?
Did you actually mean "nitpicking is when someone..."? Otherwise your sentence doesn't make sense.
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I was trying not to sound arrogant and cocky. However, remove the first three words from my post by all means

I should, of course, have said "'nitpicking' is someone making ........ I'm very glad you were there to pick me up on my omitted inverted commas.

Now, I've had enough 'paying attention to factual detail' for one day. My stamina for it isn't as good as your's.
 
MandaC said:
I dont mind anyone disagreeing, it's really good to hear different points of view and try to view things from other angles, but for me it's the constant pointless nitpicking that is unnecessary and why some people probably leave.
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You missed the ' in "dont" :p

demoivre said:
Anyone who gets upset by what an anonymous individual says in cyber space needs to see a shrink imo.
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I can't believe you said that! I won't sleep tonight...:(
 
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