Messy2024!
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My ex husband and I are separated 17 months after 25 years married, he moved out of the family home and is renting (by choice) in an affluent area of Dublin.
He is paying €750 per month maintenance for 3 children, (he is not involved in their lives at all I am 100% single parent no help) and half any health/educational expenses but not a penny towards the mortgage or house insurance. He is not even paying half the expenses I send him so I have stopped. That works out at €62.50 per week per child which at his salary is not excessive and it is what I asked for anyway as I don't want to rinse someone but I want him to face reality. This is court ordered maintenance for the kids only as I don't want spousal maintenance from him,
I work fulltime decent salary which is so hard to manage with 3 kids to get to and from school/college etc you cannot expect an employer to be understanding of your personal circumstances all of the time but if something happens or an appointment I have to go. My weekly expenses are huge and things just keep popping up on top of utilities, groceries etc. I had to pay €200 for debs tickets last week never a week goes by that something expensive for the kids has to be paid. The mortgage is over €2k month and I am barely managing.
He earns almost double my annual (good sized) salary and I did up a calculation of what he should pay towards the mortgage and what I should pay based on our net pay per month. He cancelled the DD for the mortgage the day he left and stopped paying, he thought giving me €400 towards a mortgage of €2k per month was acceptable it is not. He did the same with the house insurance cancelled that but I set up a new policy straight away.
The mortgage fell into arrears for a few months when the bomb went off so to speak as I got sick with stress and could not work & was in a bad place mentally trying to cope, got the kids into counselling had to be here all the time for them for the first while then but pulled myself back together within 4 months back to work started paying what I could off the mortgage and still am. All is fine with the bank no worries about then coming after me they worked with me and have been very good. MABS have been amazing helped me with Standard Financial statement. The bank cannot tell me about their engagement with him but they can tell me the last payments received and it is all mine he has paid nothing. He has not put a penny off the arrears him and his solicitor said that is my responsibility and that he is "concerned" about the roof over his kids heads but won't be paying. This has to be illegal/wrong.
I need to know is this right he is getting away with not paying a penny towards a joint mortgage?, making out that his living expenses take priority, yes he has to live but we all have choices.
Where do I stand here have I a right to enforce he pays towards the mortgage on top of maintenance. I am outside of threshold to get legal aid and I cannot afford a solicitor at the moment and he refuses to do mediation.
This it really is my fault I need to get tougher I just feel the less engagement with him the better. My health suffered mentally and physically during the marriage and I am flying it now so I really do not want to engage with him as it ends up being a tennis match of denials. We are getting divorced and I intend keeping the house and have told the bank this so I have started the borrower remover package process my worry is he will refuse to sign it.
He is paying €750 per month maintenance for 3 children, (he is not involved in their lives at all I am 100% single parent no help) and half any health/educational expenses but not a penny towards the mortgage or house insurance. He is not even paying half the expenses I send him so I have stopped. That works out at €62.50 per week per child which at his salary is not excessive and it is what I asked for anyway as I don't want to rinse someone but I want him to face reality. This is court ordered maintenance for the kids only as I don't want spousal maintenance from him,
I work fulltime decent salary which is so hard to manage with 3 kids to get to and from school/college etc you cannot expect an employer to be understanding of your personal circumstances all of the time but if something happens or an appointment I have to go. My weekly expenses are huge and things just keep popping up on top of utilities, groceries etc. I had to pay €200 for debs tickets last week never a week goes by that something expensive for the kids has to be paid. The mortgage is over €2k month and I am barely managing.
He earns almost double my annual (good sized) salary and I did up a calculation of what he should pay towards the mortgage and what I should pay based on our net pay per month. He cancelled the DD for the mortgage the day he left and stopped paying, he thought giving me €400 towards a mortgage of €2k per month was acceptable it is not. He did the same with the house insurance cancelled that but I set up a new policy straight away.
The mortgage fell into arrears for a few months when the bomb went off so to speak as I got sick with stress and could not work & was in a bad place mentally trying to cope, got the kids into counselling had to be here all the time for them for the first while then but pulled myself back together within 4 months back to work started paying what I could off the mortgage and still am. All is fine with the bank no worries about then coming after me they worked with me and have been very good. MABS have been amazing helped me with Standard Financial statement. The bank cannot tell me about their engagement with him but they can tell me the last payments received and it is all mine he has paid nothing. He has not put a penny off the arrears him and his solicitor said that is my responsibility and that he is "concerned" about the roof over his kids heads but won't be paying. This has to be illegal/wrong.
I need to know is this right he is getting away with not paying a penny towards a joint mortgage?, making out that his living expenses take priority, yes he has to live but we all have choices.
Where do I stand here have I a right to enforce he pays towards the mortgage on top of maintenance. I am outside of threshold to get legal aid and I cannot afford a solicitor at the moment and he refuses to do mediation.
This it really is my fault I need to get tougher I just feel the less engagement with him the better. My health suffered mentally and physically during the marriage and I am flying it now so I really do not want to engage with him as it ends up being a tennis match of denials. We are getting divorced and I intend keeping the house and have told the bank this so I have started the borrower remover package process my worry is he will refuse to sign it.
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