# Giving the boss a bottle of cognac - he earns c.15k/month



## HMC (10 Dec 2010)

No, I didn't make a typing mistake when typing his salary!

My boss's secretary has asked colleagues (about 7 of us) to donate towards the boss's xmas present.  Last year (I only joined this June) they gave him a "good bottle of cognac".

I have never in all my working life bought a Christmas present for any boss and don't want to start now.

I have sent an email to all colleagues suggesting we instead donate the collection to a charity.  Not that I'm a goody two-shoes but I'm damned if I'm going to be seen to be sucking up to the boss !  He is taking us out for lunch next week, but proper order !

Has this happened to you?  How did you handle it?


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## liaconn (10 Dec 2010)

Sounds a bit daft. A token jokey present at the lunch would be okay but an expensive present at a time when people are suffering financially seems inappropriate. I think your suggestion is better. Maybe donate it to a charity the boss has a particular interest in as a compromise.


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## z107 (10 Dec 2010)

I just wouldn't donate. It's up to the others what they do.
It wouldn't really bother me.


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## callybags (10 Dec 2010)

Is it not a good idea to show a small token of gratitude that you are still in employment?

I would safely say that any small business that is surviving in these times is due in no small part to the extreme efforts and sacrifices of it's owners (and of course the staff)

The boss is showing his gratitude by bringing the staff out to lunch. I think a token reciprocation is in order.

The


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## Sunny (10 Dec 2010)

Why on earth would anyone buy their boss a gift? Or their colleagues for that matter. I don't even buy my best friends a gift!


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## HMC (10 Dec 2010)

Sunny, I love you !
Just because you agreed with me.
The whole thing is insane.
Callybags: To clarify - I work in the public sector in a super-safe job (trust me).  If I had a self-employed boss struggling to stay in business, believe me I would support such a person and make a gesture.


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## Deiseblue (10 Dec 2010)

Buy him a revolver as well as the cognac and point him in the direction of the nearest library, you'll never have to worry about buying him presents again


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## liaconn (10 Dec 2010)

I presume he's paying for the lunch out of his 15 grand a month and not from public money?


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## callybags (10 Dec 2010)

HMC said:


> Callybags: To clarify - I work in the public sector in a super-safe job (trust me). If I had a self-employed boss struggling to stay in business, believe me I would support such a person and make a gesture.


 
Ah... that changes everything.

Get him nowt.


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## truthseeker (10 Dec 2010)

umop3p!sdn said:


> I just wouldn't donate. It's up to the others what they do.
> It wouldn't really bother me.


 
+1 - I couldnt care less what people want to donate to - if I dont want to, I dont.


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## Howitzer (10 Dec 2010)

HMC said:


> No, I didn't make a typing mistake when typing his salary!
> 
> My boss's secretary has asked colleagues (about 7 of us) to donate towards the boss's xmas present.  Last year (I only joined this June) they gave him a "good bottle of cognac".
> 
> ...


What a strange tradition. Sounds like a lord of the manor arrangement , that you should be grateful and doff your cap at all times. Very odd.


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## liaconn (10 Dec 2010)

To be honest, there's always these over zealous people in organisations who are constantly collecting for this, that and the other. It's a bit annoying now that so many of us are working to very tight budgets. They should cop themselves on and confine collections to significant events.


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## Mpsox (10 Dec 2010)

Does your boss actually expect this or is this an annual initiative from some lick-a..e's?


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## HMC (10 Dec 2010)

Well, as my sister so rightly said, like the poor and the feckless, brown-nosers will always be with us.

None of my colleagues has responded to my email about making a donation to charity instead.  I suppose it's easier to be a sheep.

Anyway, I've made up my mind: I won't be contributing but I will be having lunch at his expense, that's tradition after all !!


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## Purple (10 Dec 2010)

That sounds very strange indeed. 
I’ve only ever heard of the boss/employer buying token presents for their employees.


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## huskerdu (10 Dec 2010)

Mad idea. 
I too have never heard of buying a Christmas present for a boss and I definitely not contribute.


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## Staples (10 Dec 2010)

He should really tell his staff not to go to the expense.  That he doesn't would suggest that he expects it.  Whether he wantto bring them out to lunch is his own business.


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## DerKaiser (10 Dec 2010)

I'd suggest that you ask the boss to donate the money he would have spent on the lunch to charity as well.  No cognac, no lunch.


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## becky (10 Dec 2010)

Is he taking you all out or will he submit the bill with his expences.  I think it's a bit much.  Is the secretary one of these who thinks sun shines out of him?

We had a new boss in another section who brought all his staff to lunch for christmas when he first started. He dropped the bill into the GM's office on his way back. He got an almighty shock when he was told he would have to foot the bill himself. He bought no more lunches after that.

Our boss buys us nothing (9 staff). When we use to have a christmas night out (none anymore - long story) she use to pay for the wine. I don't drink wine and anyone who did only had one glass - so it was 2 bottles of wine max.


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## truthseeker (10 Dec 2010)

becky said:


> Our boss buys us nothing (9 staff).


 
Either does ours. We dont buy him anything either.

Our old boss used to take us to dinner once a year and lunch occasionally. He footed the bill himself for dinner but put lunch on expenses (it was usually to celebrate a successful end of project).
But he was a generous guy, he retired nearly 10 years ago and he still pops in each xmas with a bottle of wine per person in the dept - even staff he never knew.


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## liaconn (10 Dec 2010)

It's quite traditional in the Civil Service for senior managers to club together and pay for the wine at the Christmas meal and everyone pays for the food. Middle managers sometimes bring in a box of chocolates or a tin of biscuits. Nobody clubs together to buy the boss a present, though. And to be honest, I think they'd be mortified if that happened.


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## becky (10 Dec 2010)

truthseeker said:


> Either does ours. We dont buy him anything either.
> QUOTE]
> 
> Same here.  We get a few hampers in my name to this section - I tell the girls to pick out what they want.
> ...


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## truthseeker (10 Dec 2010)

becky said:


> Same here. We get a few hampers in my name to this section - I tell the girls to pick out what they want.
> 
> I know my boss get 6 bottles of very expensive wine from one of the clients. She brings them all home with her.


 
We tend to get gifts addressed to an individual that outside clients deal with - but because that person is not necessarily the person who does the grunt work we collect everything and raffle it off among ourselves (including the boss) on the day we break up for xmas.

There have been occasions where a particular individual was caught taking stuff home rather than contributing to the general collection though - guess some people have more of a sense of entitlement than others!


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## Complainer (10 Dec 2010)

If this is a public body, there is probably some kind of Code of Ethics or Business Behavour policy or similar. Get this from HR, and tell them why you've asked for.

Light touch paper, and retire.


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## Leper (10 Dec 2010)

I employ 11 people on a fulltime basis.  There are others on a casual basis.  We dont have a Christmas party although during the year we have a couple of outings down the country with the men and their families which I sponsor 100%.  You see two of or members are recovering drug addicts (one a recovering alcoholic also).  I see no point in putting them into more temptation especially around Christmas.  Christmas is our busiest period and we work flat out right up to and including Chrtistmas Eve.  We restart on the Tuesday after Christmas and will work flat out into the new year.

We pay a 'Christmas Box' to all the staff including the casual people on an earned basis. This is given out in late November.

I dont expect anybody to come to me and present me with a bottle of rare Courvoisier or slap my back in gratitude for me paying them for their toil.  The business is sound and through staff loyalty and common sense I intend keeping it so. Running a small business is a two way street, something many in this forum appear to forget.

And Christmas Parties . . . forget them . . . they are only for making enemies.


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## gabsdot (11 Dec 2010)

I remember years ago in my first job we were asked to contribute £10 to buy the boss a present This was 1995 and I earned £8500pa and I didn't have £10 buy my mother a present. 
Plus I absolutely hated the man. He was horrible. I said I would pay £5 under protest and the 2 other girls who shared my office said they would support me and pay a fiver. When it came to it they handed up the tenner and my fiver was rejected as they wanted to give him a voucher and it would look bad if it wasn't for an even amount of money. 
I didn't care. Saved myself a tenner. He had a massive heart attack on Stephen's day that year and I left before he came back to work so I never saw him again. 
Anyway. Buying the boss a gift is lick arsey and unnecessary.


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## Complainer (11 Dec 2010)

gabsdot said:


> He had a massive heart attack on Stephen's day that year


It was probably the shock of not getting his expected gift from staff that did it.


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## HMC (14 Dec 2010)

Gabsdot: your post made me laugh and cry. There is no thought given to people's private circumstances (childcare costs, debts, mortgage/rent, parents in care homes...).  Who knows what colleagues are dealing with. 

The latest from here (I'm the OP) is that we're going to lunch on Thursday and I've no idea whether a present has been bought for the boss or not.  I have not contributed and have no intention of doing so, unless the money goes to a charity.

Leper is right: Christmas parties are good for making enemies.  I've only been here six months but I feel I've stepped over the line simply because I didn't fall into line with everyone else.

And another thing and then I'll shut up - there is no question of circulating an envelope so staff can give (or not) at their discretion.  We have to trundle up to the secretary's office and hand over our cash for her.  I wanted to make an issue over this as well but decided I had already said enough!!  This whole business is one big pain in the rear end.


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## shootingstar (14 Dec 2010)

Well i reckon the secretary's sleeping with the boss!


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## Jim Davis (14 Dec 2010)

shootingstar said:


> Well i reckon the secretary's sleeping with the boss!


 
That or she sounds like one of those mother hen types which every office seems to have. They go around doing whip arounds every week for someones baby, wedding, birthday, christening and funeral etc.

I got to the stage where I got fed up with work nights out and x mas parties etc and stopped going to all of them. Mostly all rubbish talk at them anyway.


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## fobs (14 Dec 2010)

i have never given my boss a present (nor will I!) We have 2 staff nights out at Christmas , 1 is organised for the whole building where meal is paid for with 2 drinks and the 2nd is a departmental meal out where meal and wine is paid for and the boss would buy a few drinks as well. 

Our organisation also will receive some gifts and these are numbered and raffled so everyone in the department gets something i.e whiskey or brandy or wine box etc...

There is always collections here for people leaving,babies etc... but is always an anonymous envelope so can give/or not at yor discretion.


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## fizzelina (15 Dec 2010)

I was absent at a recent team meeting when it was decided that we should all do kris kindle and give the presents out at a team lunch - the cost of presents suggested is €15! I don't even buy friends a present I think it's ridiculous buying that for work colleagues. I'd rather give it to SVP. Plus the lunch will be with our boss who won't pay a cent towards it, he's very tight. Anyway what bothers me about this lunch is that at the summer lunch it was all split the bill and some people had 3 courses and coffee while others had the cheapest main course and others had just a toasted sandwich and I think it should be pay for your own. Some people haven't the money for this kind of thing. I'm not tight and out with friends etc I'm happy to split bills but a work lunch we are forced to go on is a bit much (and it was mentioned before that not going is not being a team player so we basically have to go)


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## liaconn (15 Dec 2010)

fizzelina said:


> I was absent at a recent team meeting when it was decided that we should all do kris kindle and give the presents out at a team lunch - the cost of presents suggested is €15! I don't even buy friends a present I think it's ridiculous buying that for work colleagues. I'd rather give it to SVP. Plus the lunch will be with our boss who won't pay a cent towards it, he's very tight. Anyway what bothers me about this lunch is that at the summer lunch it was all split the bill and some people had 3 courses and coffee while others had the cheapest main course and others had just a toasted sandwich and I think it should be pay for your own. Some people haven't the money for this kind of thing. I'm not tight and out with friends etc I'm happy to split bills but a work lunch we are forced to go on is a bit much (and it was mentioned before that not going is not being a team player so we basically have to go)


 
I think all these expensive 'traditions' that built up over the celtic tiger era need to be reviewed. A couple of people where I work booked a dinner dance in a hotel event for the annual 'do' and loads of people are just not going. It's way too expensive and is the kind of event that you'd also need to buy something new to wear for and get a taxi home from because it's out of town. A gang of us have decided to just go to the pub for a couple of drinks somewhere central that evening where we can get the bus home.

I also think doing big collections for someone who's just transferring from one part of the organisation to the other should be stamped on the head. And collections for new babies and big birthdays should be confined to the recipient's particular mates in the office, not emailed around to all and sundry.


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## JP1234 (15 Dec 2010)

Our work do was cancelled due to lack of interest!  Not only were we expected to pay for the meal (€40.00 per head), drinks and taxi, the bosses decided to make it themed fancy dress - because apparently paying for new clothes that make you look and feel stupid to sit in a hotel dining room was going to make it more _fun,fun, FUN!!!_

Personally I never go on work parties, would much rather be out with my OH or stay at home and curl up on the sofa. As a non-drinker there's a limited amount of amusement I can get from watching people getting plastered. I also got fed up of being expected to hang around to give people lifts home.If I am asked if I am going out I simply say No, it's not my thing. 

As for giving the boss a present, that has only ever happened to me once and yes I did feel pressure to contribute due to the fact there were only 4 of us working under the boss..and in fairness she did buy us all a bottle of wine...which I gave away!


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## Complainer (15 Dec 2010)

JP1234 said:


> and in fairness she did buy us all a bottle of wine


One each, or one between the four of you? ;-)


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## JP1234 (15 Dec 2010)

Complainer said:


> One each, or one between the four of you? ;-)


 

Each - she wasn't that tight-fisted


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## HMC (15 Dec 2010)

The latest from me, the OP.  Our lunch is tomorrow in some swanky restaurant.  My colleague (about same age as boss, late 50s) just got back having bought "the present" - a coffee table book on Porsche cars, of which my boss has at least one (car, not book).  My colleague then very pointedly said "just so we don't turn up empty-handed".  I can't tell you how tempted I am to call in sick tomorrow.


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## TarfHead (15 Dec 2010)

HMC said:


> .. a coffee table book on Porsche cars, of which my boss has at least one (car, not book) ..


 
But does he have a coffee table  ?


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## becky (15 Dec 2010)

Get one of those horrid gel candels from the €2 shop.


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## truthseeker (15 Dec 2010)

HMC said:


> The latest from me, the OP. Our lunch is tomorrow in some swanky restaurant. My colleague (about same age as boss, late 50s) just got back having bought "the present" - a coffee table book on Porsche cars, of which my boss has at least one (car, not book). My colleague then very pointedly said "just so we don't turn up empty-handed". I can't tell you how tempted I am to call in sick tomorrow.


 

Go to the lunch and when the boss opens the present and exclaims over it show great interest and make out like you chose it - the others wont be able to say you didnt donate for fear of looking mean spirited


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## HMC (15 Dec 2010)

becky said:


> Get one of those horrid gel candels from the €2 shop.


 
What, and then set fire to the book?


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## AgathaC (18 Dec 2010)

OP, you have to update us!


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## peelabee (20 Dec 2010)

+1!! 

Dying to hear how it went.


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## Maximus152 (23 Dec 2010)

Wow I can not believe this conversation, your Boss a bottle of Cognac.. give me a brake. If the Secretary wants to impress or groom his ego thats her problem, why do'nt you give the money to some one who would appreciate it, even a raffle. Its no wonder the country is in such a state, people need to get real.

M


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## HMC (3 Jan 2011)

AgathaC said:


> OP, you have to update us!


 
Well, it seems an age ago now but still vivid in my memory, but for all the wrong reasons!

There were eight of us squashed shoulder to shoulder around a small shallow table.  The boss was ordering plenty of red wine and I drank too much of it.  When my colleague remarked that there was alcohol in the dessert, I replied that I couldn't taste it.  Then my boss chipped in: "that's because you've had enough already."

I just ingored the remark.  It was the wine that got me through the whole event.

Anyway, he was presented with his ******** book on Porsches which seemed to delight him no end.  I felt even happier knowing I hadn't contributed a red cent towards it.

These occasions are hellish and I have no intention of attending next year.


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