# Direct and Personal Questions at an Interview



## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

Hi all,

Would like some opinions. I was at a 2nd interview in the last day or so and I was a bit taken aback by the directness of the questions I was asked. I know myself that they should not have been asked & I did answer, mainly because I did not want to come across as awkward etc. also I did not want to jeopardise my chances of the job by refusing to answer, or question the relavance of the why they were asking.

Whether or not I am made an offer I still feel a bit uncomfortable with the questions and feel that I was being judged because of my status.

What are my options. I was onto IBEC and you have to be a member. I rang the dept of employment and could not get to speak to anyone just for advice or an opinion.

Any Thoughts?


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## elcato (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Perhaps if you were to tell us what the questions were without needing to be too specific ?


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Ok, 

was I married?
was I single? the answer was yes.
is that why you are so career driven? (I'm presuming that meant are you focusing on your career because you are a singleton and have nothing else to do)
Am I a career girl? 
then asked AGAIN if I was career driven?
what is your personal status? 
Do you own your own home? 
Do you live with your parents? 
Asked my age, and then commented that I looked far younger. (kind of a compliment I guess, but irrelevant to the situation?

I spoke about my hobbies/interests etc and then towards the end was asked to speak more about me personally...
even after answering all of the above. I said that I did not feel that there was anything else important to talk about that had any relevance...

 Am I being over sensitive?


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## woods (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Was there more than one person on the panel or was it a one to one.
At a job interview back in the eighties I was asked a question about how I punished my son when needed.
What really bugged me was that the guy interviewing me looked about 19 at the time and I now wonder if maybe he had a little fettish of some sort.


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## tiger (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Three things come to mind;  a) if the questions relate to gender, family status, religion etc. then there could be grounds for [broken link removed].  b) some companies have very strong corporate cultures, their questions may be an attempt to determine if you would be a good 'fit'.  c) reminds me of an anecdotal story, candidates at an interview were asked to show the contents of their handbags/wallets, those that did so were not considered, how could they be trusted to keep the companies secrets?!


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## mo3art (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



ci1 said:


> was I married?
> was I single? the answer was yes.
> is that why you are so career driven? (I'm presuming that meant are you focusing on your career because you are a singleton and have nothing else to do)
> Am I a career girl?
> ...



I don't think they are entitled to ask about your marital status anymore as it is discriminatory, but somebody here might know more than I.
Asking whether you were career driven is a common question in my company so I don't see anything out of the order with that.
Owning your own home and your home situation I would have felt was inappropriate in 99% of interview situations, I fail to understand what difference that would make to an interviewer and I personally think it is intrusive.
I don't think either they are entitled to ask your age as this also can be interpreted as discriminatory, the days when you put your DOB on a CV are long gone imho.


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## KalEl (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



ci1 said:


> Ok,
> 
> was I married?
> was I single? the answer was yes.
> ...


 
Only my opinion but I think you are being over sensitive.
The question Woods was asked was bizarre and somewhat scary, however I think your were reasonable.


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## tiger (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Based on your second post, these were most definitely discriminatory questions.


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## Art (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

You can take a case to the equality tribunal. They cannot under law ask questions about your age or your marital status. Wait until you know whether you got the job or not.


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## gearoid (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

To me the questions would seem inappropriate alright. Is it a small company with no HR department?

On a lighter note I know a married couple who met at a job interview, though this was in the early 80's. She didn't get the job but he asked her to dinner afterwards and it must have gone well from there.


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## MugsGame (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

They've hit so many no-nos here -- age, sex ('career girl'), marital status. Sounds more like a speed date then a job interview! 

You would probably win a small settlement at tribunal, but I would just chalk it up to experience. There was a case a few years ago where a carpenter got a payout solely because something like 'so you're the lady carpenter then' was said (by a woman on the interview panel!) when her name was called to come into the interview room.


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## elefantfresh (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

A lot of companies are wary of taking on women of "child baring age". I know how dodgy that sounds but HR is a costly and timely consuming process which if they get "wrong" means they have to go through the whole process again. If a woman of that age gets a position and then becomes pregnant, the company then have to go through the process again for a temp while the woman is off work. This can cripple a small company. The type of questions that were asked as stated by the OP would certainly reveal to an interviewer what the possible plans for the future may have been. I am aware how un-pc this is but in my view thats the way some employers think.


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

The questions they asked bore no relevance whatsoever to the job or my ability to do it. 

it is a big position, lot of responsibility etc if I was not career driven I wouldn't be going for it would I?
the career driven questions were underpinned by the marital status questions. I don't see any link there.
They are a big international company I assumed their interviewing techniques would be better. 

I am asking for thoughts/opinions. I used this as my last source because as usual in Ireland no one will give a straight answer.
I am aware of my rights and boundaries and if people are going to overstep them I'll address it. 
but I am looking for feedback and advice before I take it further.

Thanks everyone for your opinions...I'll think it all through again,.


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## ClubMan (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



elefantfresh said:


> women of "child baring age".


I didn't know that there was an age limit governing when women could undress the kids!


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## elefantfresh (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

he he! nice one Clubman. you dont miss a trick.


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Hi Elefantfresh,

I totally agree with you and I think that this was behind the questioning.

They're making a decision on Monday, time will tell.


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## Vanilla (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

What impression did you get from this interviewer as to why these questions were being asked? Is this interviewer going to be working with you directly or were they HR? I've had similar experiences in the past at interviews. Once I walked out of an interview as I felt the questions bordered on offensive to me personally. And I've had some very un PC bosses who I got on with really well. I think it all depends on the intent behind the questions and whether this will be someone working with you directly in the future who you will have to put up with. Also if the company has this kind of attitude then if offered a position I would look very carefully at the terms and conditions surrounding maternity leave, parental leave and flexi time for the future if your circumstances change.


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## elefantfresh (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Ci1 - keep us posted as to how you get on - if you don't get it, they must by law give you some sort of interview feedback - be interesting to see what they have to say. but of course, you'll get it so we'll never know!! good luck!


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## Dreamerb (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Having sat on a number of interview boards, I wondered after your first post if it was simply a case of an interviewer getting distracted, or perhaps - and I've been on a board where this happened - that you had addressed everything so well and comprehensively that an interviewer panicked because the interview wasn't "supposed" to be over yet. 

From your follow-up, however, the more charitable interpretations do not appear to be justified and I am, frankly, appalled that a large company would interview in such a manner. There are clear inferences to be drawn in relation to their possible assumptions about your longer term career commitment from questions of single/career-driven/age, and some of the other questions are so profoundly irrelevant that I can't see their relevance to anything. 

I would be inclined to challenge this, not necessarily by way of the various statutory agencies, but by writing to seek a meeting with the personnel / recruitment manager to draw their attention to possible weaknesses and vulnerabilities in their interview processes (and I'd express it in those terms). But that's a personal decision, and may be more hassle than you want. If you get the job and take it, it may be appropriate at a later date to raise the issue quietly - if you don't, you may want to focus on your job-seeking. 

Good luck, either way. 
d


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## Thrifty1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

I had an interview a few months ago, 2 guys one about 60 and the other about 40. The older guy asked me my marital status and the younger guy nearly leapt out of his seat and said "Oh Christ, you can ask her that"

I did anyway cos i didnt mind, incidently i got the job.


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## Art (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



MugsGame said:


> You would probably win a small settlement at tribunal.


 
In the case of Noonan vs Accountancy Connections, the claimant was awarded €10,000 for age discrimination during the recruitment process. Hardly a small sum...


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Hi Vanilla, the interviewer on the first round was there and his boss who is based elsewhere. No one from HR was present at any stage.

He seemed like a nice, friendly guy, said I would have all his assistance/support if I was successful. Which I will need because even though I have the experience/background this will be a tough position, I've done my research.

I suppose my main question is would they have asked a man all those questions ?

I'm understand they don't want soemone to join and be gone in 6 months time but sure that could happen to anyone, male/female, single/married so thats why I object to the questioning.

They consistently spoke about the challenges and factors I will come up against, and that to be honest is why I want the job...I want a challenge, I could not emphasize this to them enough.

Decision time is on Monday, fingers crossed I get it. If I don't I'll be asking for interview feedback without a doubt.

Thanks everyone.


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## Vanilla (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Would they have asked a man the same questions? 

I suppose it depends on the intent behind the question. If it was time filling, getting to know you, without an agenda, maybe. If the interview was a very focused one without this kind of interpersonal chat, then I doubt it.

I wouldn't necessarily let these questions stop me from taking a job unless I felt that the working environment would be discriminatory. Sometimes people say the wrong thing but they might not actually be bad to work for. As I said I've had some un PC bosses in my time but they were fine to work for. As an interviewee you are an unknown quantity to be assessed in whatever objective manner they can. While I think they were wrong to ask those questions I wouldnt condemn them for it immediately.

When you start working for someone there is more of a personal relationship between you and management and more of give and take. I say all this and I do still believe that many women are discriminated against in the workforce. I do believe that it's getting better. Perhaps I should be saying to you to stand up for your rights and take a case against them to stop this kind of thing happening again. But at a very practical level if you want this job and whilst in the job you won't be discriminated against then you do have to make a practical decision. 

It might well be that if you do take the job and you have a good working relationship with this person in the future that you could steer him away from this type of questioning in future interviews.


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Hi DreamerB,

just seen your post thanks.  I was pretty appalled myself.

I agree with your suggestion and I deffo without a doubt will follow it through, Whether I get the job or not.

My job will include recruit and select and I'll be managing it and intend to educate them on their questions etc.  If I don't get it I will still send in a letter outlining how I feel about it and await their feedback.

Either way I'll draw attention to it.

C.


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## Dreamerb (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



ci1 said:


> My job will include recruit and select and I'll be managing it and intend to educate them on their questions etc.


Oh what delicious irony! Maybe they were trick questions to see if you'd tell them they were wildly inappropriate  . 

Seriously, hope you get the opportunity to commence their re-education  .


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## Oilean Beag (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

At a recent interview I was asked what my father an siblings did for a living.


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## MugsGame (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

If I was asked that I'd be very tempted to reply that they all died in a car accident!

ci1, were you asked if you play sports?


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## ClubMan (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



Vanilla said:


> Would they have asked a man the same questions?


Maybe not this one?


ci1 said:


> Am I a career girl?


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## extopia (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



KalEl said:


> Only my opinion but I think you are being over sensitive.



You are in no way being oversensitive. It is most definitely NOT OK to ask these questions. It's frankly astonishing that anyone at a large international company would ask these. If you don't get the job you will most definitely have a case for discrimination.

Even if you do get the job, however, you should probably be wary. It's possible of course that you were simply interviewed by an incompetent interviewer, but again this could itself be cause for concern. E.g. would you want to work for a company that uses incompetent interviewers to hire your colleagues?

Oops - just noticed that part of your job would be that. Interesting that they would want you to do this if you have little or no experience of same? (I assume this because you were unsure of whether the questions were inappropriate or not?)


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## Cashstrapped (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

Ok go easy but I haven't been for an interview for years, 'n years 'n years but do you not put your date of birth and marital status on your CV anymore?  Seem like very stupid questions to ask someone if it's the second intereview stage,  you'd think they would at least read the CV or Application Form before interviewing!!


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## ci1 (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

they did ask if I had hobbies yeh...one of them happens to be martial arts, they kinda just looked at each other baffled.

He just was not aware of the seriousness of the questions he was asking I don't think. I was actually waiting on him to ask if I was gonna go and get pregnant...it seemed thats where he was leading, thank God he didn't.

In my previous job I interviewed, but there was not a high turnover of staff, therefore I did not interview of lots of people, but I have done workshops and courses in management and interview techniques are covered so I have the relevant and appropiate questions and things to look for in my industry. 

Whats really pi**ing me off deep down is that despite knowing the questions were not appropriate I let him away with it. I should have pulled him up or asked relevance of the questions to the job but I didn't simply because I thought it would jeopardise my chance, that maybe I would come across as awkward or cocky. 

but as I said either way they won't get away with it. 

C.


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## DrMoriarty (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



Vanilla said:


> Would they have asked a man the same questions?


Last time I went for an interview (admittedly back in the early nineties) I was asked if I had children, how many, what ages, etc. When I replied, the (not _very _old) woman on the panel rolled her eyes and said sure I was barely more than a child myself! (I was then in my late twenties. Maybe I 'looked younger', too! ) One of the men present also ventured helpfully that 'that must keep me busy'...

Anyway, I got the job and have been there since. I get the feeling that a lot of these inappropriate questions are attributable more to benign ineptitude — a throwback to when 'these things were simpler'? — than to anything sinister or intentionally discriminatory. However, I'd certainly follow up if the outcome isn't positive! Discrimination doesn't have to be shown to be intentional for it to be against the law.


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## KalEl (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

I just think if you actually want the job rocking the boat isn't necessarily the best approach. If it was me, and I was asked something inappropriate like my sexual orientation I would weigh up the pros and cons of how I answer. Would I just answer the question and make a mental note that the interviewer is a fool? Or do I kick up an almighty fuss about the inappropriateness of the question? If I wanted the job, I'd do the former.
Having said that, I admire your principles.
Best of luck whatever you do.


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## ajapale (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*

How about this for an inappropriate question?


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## KalEl (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



ajapale said:


> How about this for an inappropriate question?


 
Now that is bizarre...I remember being asked at an interview whether I lived at home. Was that inappropriate? I did at the time and so I said yes. The partner doing the interview said that was good and carried on.


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## ajapale (13 Apr 2007)

*Re: Personal Questions at an Interview*



elefantfresh said:


> ... they must by law give you some sort of interview feedback ......



Hi elefantfresh,

Can you point a link to this law?

aj


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## buzybee (13 Apr 2007)

The questions were intrusive, but the company wanted to gauge if you had ties, and would stay with the company.

Career driven because you are single - they are afraid you may meet a man and may relocate & leave your job

If you live at home/rent - they think you may be afraid to take a risk and buy your own house.  They could think you are 'bad with money' and not able to save.   They could also think you spend weekends getting pissed and are fit for nothing on Monday morning

Also, if you live at home, they may try to get away with paying you a low salary, as you wouldn't have household bills.

If you have a house - good, because you have to work to pay your mortgage, and will stay in your job, be committed etc

If you are married/partnered - good, because you won't have a holiday romance and leave your job to be with your new love.

When I was being made redundant from a job a few years ago, they gave us CV/ interview coaching.  I had always put 'single' and my age on my CV.  (I was about 30 then).  The career coach told me not to put my marital status on my CV, as the interviewer could think 'single people have no ties, and may move jobs more readily than marrieds'.  In fact, I would have thought it good to say that I'm single, as I wouldn't be taking time out on maternity leave with babies.


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## RainyDay (14 Apr 2007)

In 1999, I was interviewing for a very large multinational IT company. Towards the end of the 4th interview of the day, the interviewer very casually asked me if I had kids. I guessed at the time that he was just being chatty (I'm a bloke, btw), but my immediate reaction was to tell him that he couldn't ask me such questions. He responded that he could ask anything I like, but I didn't have to answer. So I answered that I didn't, and was kicking myself that my contrary manner would cost me the job.

Anyway, I got the job (possibly partly because contrariness or at very least assertiveness was very much a requirement in that environment), and after a couple of years, the interviewer in question was promoted to the HR department to be responsible for all recruitment!

But I'm really surprised that this kind of stuff is still happening, particularly in large companies. You would certainly have grounds for a discrimination claim, or you could take a constructive approach and just drop a line to the HR director letting him/her know about their dodgy interviewers.


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## mo3art (14 Apr 2007)

I would have thought that regardless of the reasons behind why the interviewers would ask the questions, if they are discriminatory they shouldn't be asked in the first place!


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## KalEl (14 Apr 2007)

mo3art said:


> I would have thought that regardless of the reasons behind why the interviewers would ask the questions, if they are discriminatory they shouldn't be asked in the first place!


 
Surely questions alone are not discriminatory? I would have thought a problem only arises if the decision on who to recruit is based on the information gleaned from those questions.


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## Dreamerb (14 Apr 2007)

KalEl said:


> Surely questions alone are not discriminatory? I would have thought a problem only arises if the decision on who to recruit is based on the information gleaned from those questions.


There's no good reason to ask the questions at a _job interview_ if they do not specifically relate to the recruitment decision. It is therefore best practice, including from a legal vulnerability perspective, to avoid asking personal questions unless they are directly relevant to the candidate's ability to do the job, or are follow-up questions in relation to something the candidate has raised (and even with the latter, you need to be careful). 

I certainly wouldn't relish a defence against a case brought to the Equality authority "Why yes, Mr. Crowley, I did ask questions relating to the candidate's marital status and number of children and relate this specifically to their level of ambition; but I positively assert that this was irrelevant to my decision not to hire them."
"Well, Mr. Brontosaurus, why exactly did you ask the questions?"
"...ehm..."
"Is it possible you were trying to assess the candidate on matters not pertinent to her ability to do the job?"
"...ehm..."
"That'll be €20,000 damages to the candidate, please, and don't let me see you here again."


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## KalEl (14 Apr 2007)

Dreamerb said:


> Why yes, Mr. Crowley, I did ask questions relating to the candidate's marital status and number of children and relate this specifically to their level of ambition


 
Is that not the problem...relating their marital status to their level of ambition. Discrimination is wrong but things are going to far when an interviewer cannot ask whether a candidate is married or not. It's a massive part of someone's life. Why do people put their interests on CV's and discuss them at interviews? Does this discriminate against people who have no interests or hobbies? Of course it does...yet people are ruled out of jobs every day on the basis of not having any intersts and thus being perceived as not being fully rounded individuals.


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## extopia (14 Apr 2007)

KalEl said:


> Discrimination is wrong but things are going to far when an interviewer cannot ask whether a candidate is married or not.



How so? I know of no reputable studies linking marital status with job performance.

Remember, discrimination is often based on strongly held yet irrational assumptions about certain personal characteristics and their (supposed) relationship to job performance. The fact that these assumptions are often unconscious is the most insidious thing about them.

If it's simply irrelevant, don't ask. If you think it's relevant but equality law says otherwise, err on the side of the law.


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## KalEl (14 Apr 2007)

Fair enough...where does discrimination begin and end though?
I was hiring someone last year, narrowed it down to two equally competent candidates and made my decision solely on the basis that one lived much closer to the business. Was that discrimination or just sensible?


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## extopia (15 Apr 2007)

It's only discrimination if you thought the person you hired would be better because s/he came from a "better" neighbourhood. 

Sensible? I suppose it depends on how the employee worked out.


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## pat127 (16 Apr 2007)

extopia said:


> It's only discrimination if you thought the person you hired would be better because s/he came from a "better" neighbourhood.



Are you sure about that, extopia? 

"The Employment Equality Act, 1998 and the Equal Status Act, 2000 as amended by the Equality Act 2004 (pdf) outlaw discrimination in employment, vocational training, advertising, collective agreements, the provision of goods and services and other opportunities to which the public generally have access. Specifically, service providers, agencies, and anyone providing opportunities to which the public have access, cannot discriminate against citizens on nine distinct grounds.

These grounds are:

gender 
marital status 
family status 
sexual orientation 
religion 
age (does not apply to a person under 16) 
disability 
race 
membership of the Traveller community."

Which of the 9 grounds applies? 

On a general note, there has been too much discussion about discrimination in this thread IMHO. A question can be offensive, rude, even stupid but it is never discriminatory. For legal discrimination to apply an action must have been taken such as a job refusal, promotion refusal etc based on one or other of the above-mentioned grounds and must be agreed to be so by the Authority.

An employer is of course recommended to avoid asking questions of a nature which could in the event of a job being refused etc support the complainant's assertion that the act may have been discriminatory. It doesn't in itself mean that the claim will be upheld however.

Anyone with any real experience of interviewing prospective employees will know just how difficult the process is and appreciate that even the best of interviewers will occasionally get it wrong with possible dire consequences for both sides. Whereas it's easy to check claimed qualifications, it can be very difficult to determine just what type of person the candidate is. Dependent on the job it's often vital to determine how will he (meaning 'he' or 'she'!) fit in? Will he be a good person to work with and if relevant be good with clients or customers? Is he serious about the job and interested in making a career of it? Self-confident? Self-reliant? Promotion material? Likely to be able to manage staff? The list goes on.

There is no magic formula for determining such factors. References are often not worth the paper they are written on, leaving the interviewer little choice but to try to get the candidate to open up and talk about himself. Appearance, presentation, general lifestyle, interests, etc can all provide clues. 

It's as much in the candidate's interest to know that he is the type of person they want so why be defensive about being asked whether he is married or not, or be uptight because an interviewer pays him a compliment? Ironically it's often possible to spot someone who is being defensive so I'd say go in with a positive attitude. What have you got to lose? If you are right for the job you won't be refused it. If you are not, so what? Worry about discrimination if and only if it ever arises. If you don't like the line of questioning then maybe you are learning something about the employer and that's something you take into consideration to help you decide if you want to work there anyway.


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## dontaskme (16 Apr 2007)

I would suggest that if someone is asked a question about marital status/ family status at a job interview, they could lie and if the employer finds out later it is a lie, they would have no comeback. That is, the original lie should not be sufficient grounds to be let go - even though it is a misrepresentation, it should have no relevance on the hiring decision.

Incidentally I was told over the phone a few years ago that a position I was interested in was for "girls only". I went to the EEA, or whatever they were called at the time and went to a hearing, represented myself and was awarded a thousand pounds.  
(I also had documentary evidence, though.)

I think they most they can award is up to two years salary. I would suggest to the op to definitely make a complaint if he or she does not get the job.


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## KalEl (16 Apr 2007)

I'm a great believer in applying common sense in these situations...there seem to be two options when asked if you're married at a job interview. Option 1 is get defensive, refuse to answer, say the question is inappropriate or complain to a relevant authority. Option 2 is to answer the question honestly. Assuming most people at an interview want the job choosing anything other than Option 2 in my opinion shows a lack of common sense and reflects badly on the candidate.


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## ClubMan (16 Apr 2007)

KalEl said:


> I'm a great believer in applying common sense in these situations...there seem to be two options when asked if you're married at a job interview. Option 1 is get defensive, refuse to answer, say the question is inappropriate or complain to a relevant authority. Option 2 is to answer the question honestly.


Another option might to politely turn it back on the interviewer and ask them why they consider the question relevant and appropriate.


> Assuming most people at an interview want the job choosing anything other than Option 2 in my opinion shows a lack of common sense and reflects badly on the candidate.


Hopefully others have a more open mind and might value the independence of mind that might be attributable to somebody not just slavishly answering any question in the interview just for the sake of it.


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## Dreamerb (16 Apr 2007)

KalEl said:


> Assuming most people at an interview want the job choosing anything other than Option 2 in my opinion shows a lack of common sense and reflects badly on the candidate.


The point, though, is that it should not normally come up. Questions at a job interview (and I've done many, from either side of the table) should relate to the candidate's ability to do the job. Marital status is not relevant to that ability. 

That said, if I found myself in the situation and depending on the exact context, I'd probably answer briefly and honestly although I wouldn't be particularly happy that the question was posed (why does a potential employer legitimately need to know?) - but the OP was faced with a series of personal questions which _apparently_ related her marital status to her job commitment. It's not the idle chit-chat scene-setting where someone might casually ask "Are you married?". I wouldn't be unduly concerned with something like that although it really shouldn't be asked; in this case, however, it's the "Are you married?" with a follow-up of "Is that why you're motivated?" sort of situation which would worry me.


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## KalEl (16 Apr 2007)

ClubMan said:


> Hopefully others have a more open mind and might value the independence of mind that might be attributable to somebody not just slavishly answering any question in the interview just for the sake of it.


 
See that's the point...common sense is called for. Assume the candidate wants the job. The general consensus is the questions are dodgy which would make you think the person asking them isn't the most clued in when it comes to employment law/sexual harrassment etc. So they probably wouldn't be the type to take kindly to being challenged over what they see as an inoccuous question. I'm not arguing the rights or wrongs of the question; I just think that in a job interview situation you have to have tunnel vision when it comes to getting what you want-the job.


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## ci1 (16 Apr 2007)

Hi Kalel, I agree with you and I did answer the questions because I really want the job. I did want to ask the relevance but I didn't for fear of ruining my chances.
I answered briefly even though it felt awkward...Are you married? NO, 
oh are you single then? eh yeh!!!
is that why you're "career driven"? 

I mean please come on...ask me examples of how I dealt with work situations, give me an oppurtunity to tell you how I can do this job with 100% dedication, find out about my skills/attributes/ambitions/what I'm bringing to the organisation. These are the things that were relevant, not what my situation is outside of work.

there is a post below about why not ask about marital status, its a massive part of someones life...yeh, I totally agree... BUT its a massive part of someones PERSONAL life (not their work life)
relationships/marraiges/personal status is private and personal to each and everyone and no body should have to answer questions on it to a stranger at an interview.

I mean even to stop at the marraige question, when I answered no I was probed even further, then I felt it was assumed that I was focused on my career because I was single...oh are you sad and lonely being single at 31? Is that why you're climbing the ladder and doing well? Are you filling a void?

I genuinely think the guy was ignorant of the appropriate questions, or shold have worked a bit more on how to get the answers in a less direct way but everyone is different, and everyone could perceive the questions in a different way and take their different meanings out of them...the upshot of it all is none of it mattered to my application/CV/ability to do the job in hand...

am still waiting to hear back from them, hopefully will know either way today.


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## ClubMan (16 Apr 2007)

ci1 said:


> Are you married? NO,
> oh are you single then? eh yeh!!!


The answer to the second question is not necessarily implied by the answer to the first. Single could mean not in any form of long term/live-in relationship. For example gay couples cannot marry (at the moment) but would probably would not count as single if in a committed long term live-in relationship. 


> there is a post below about why not ask about marital status, its a massive part of someones life...yeh, I totally agree... BUT its a massive part of someones PERSONAL life (not their work life)
> relationships/marraiges/personal status is private and personal to each and everyone and no body should have to answer questions on it to a stranger at an interview.


 Well, let's hope this never happens here for example...!


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## ci1 (16 Apr 2007)

Could always go for the shock tactic on that one, make them sorry they asked.

Well actually, I can't answer that because although I am a female now, I wasn't always a woman!
(I'm joking btw, and just for the record I am really a woman)

someone did say to me over the weekend that it would have been good to answer the questions and fire the same question back:

Are you married? No I'm not, are you?
so are you single? yes I am, are you?
Do you own your own home? No, not at the moment, how about you?
do you still live with your parents? yes I do, and yourself, are you still in the family home?
Are you career driven? yes I am, are you?
You don't look your age? My thank you, would you mind me asking how old you are so that I can determine if you look yours...

Brilliant...!


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## ClubMan (16 Apr 2007)

ci1 said:


> Well actually, I can't answer that because although I am a female now, I wasn't always a woman!


Actually...


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## ci1 (16 Apr 2007)

What I meant was that a man turned woman still would not be able to answer the question they asked in India.
I think you unknowingly just started a new discussion.


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## extopia (17 Apr 2007)

pat127 said:


> Are you sure about that, extopia?



Ah, I was only kidding (note the smiley). I suppose there's discrimination and there's illegal discrimination...


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## Kiddo (17 Apr 2007)

I've been asked about my marital status and if I had children at a number of interviews. 

On one occassion the interviewer mentioned that he knew it was against the law to ask but went on to explain that the job entailed travel, often at short notice, and may possibly not suit someone with family commitements. I took no offense from this. 

Since getting married I have been asked if I'm married a number of times....though I wear my wedding and engagement rings to interviews so anyone with a bit of cop on could glean the answer by looking at my left hand . I keep telling my hubby that this diamond just isn't big enough 

At one interview which took a quite informal approach , I was asked a number of personal questions, was I married, any kids, any plans to have kids in the near future, did I own or rent, how much I paid for my house, what it was worth now, was I using my husbands surname, was I a feminist because I hadn't changed it.....and all from a totally arrogant guy who abouth the same age as myself and imo should have known better. I had taken an instant dislike to him so was fairly vague and asked him the same questions back. He thought we got on like a house on fire and couldn't understand why I didn't want to come back for a second interview. The recruitement agent pointed out to him that his line of questioning was totally inappropriate but he disagreed with her...arrogant fool


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## elefantfresh (17 Apr 2007)

Ci1 - did you get the job????


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## ci1 (17 Apr 2007)

Hi Elefantfresh, 

still waiting to hear from them.

they said they'd let me know asap so hopefully will hear news today or this week sometime.
I'm cracking up waiting.
it has to be approved by the guy that asked the questions so have to wait and see 

C.


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## ci1 (24 Apr 2007)

Hi All, 

still no word about this.  Not a letter or call.
thought there would have been a decision by now.

Does anyone recommend contacting them by mail for an update, or leave it be until they get back to me.

C.


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## sprinklestar (30 Apr 2007)

Hi C1

Just wondering if you've heard anything back about the job yet??


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## ci1 (1 May 2007)

Hi Sprinklestar.

Nope, not a word.

I mailed him he said he's sorry for the delay and could I bear with him a for another few days, that was this day last week.

It will be 3 weeks on thursday since the 2nd interview.

is this normal waiting time?

C.


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## Dudley (1 May 2007)

If I remember correctly, in my current job I must have waited at least three weeks after the second interview before I heard I was being offered the position. It was so frustrating and I was sure I wasn't going to get it.
Anyway, it was to do with one of the senior managers being on holiday and also getting sign off from head-office on the extra headcount (I didn't apply for a particular position - I sent my cv in on spec - got called for an interview - didn't get that position but was asked would I be interested in another).

Dudley


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## ci1 (9 May 2007)

Hi All,

at this stage I've had no word back and have decided that this may not be the most suitable company for me to work for.

I do intend on making a formal complaint about the interview though.  So where do I start?
has anyone ever done it before?

thanks,


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## purpeller (10 May 2007)

I think one has to use common sense.  I was recently asked some personal questions towards the end of an interview.  I did think they were unnecessary but they were asked by my future boss (I got the job) and I just thought he was a)not thinking about the implications of asking personal questions, possibly because he had already decided I was the person for the job and b) friendly.  He threw in some things about himself.

However, I did resent being asked (9 years and a college degree after the fact) how many points I got in my leaving cert.  I didn't tell them.  I said I couldn't remember: it was such a long time ago.

Ci1: they've left you hanging a long time now.  Hope you hear something soon.


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## sprinklestar (10 May 2007)

i think your right to forget about this one - its not meant for you, start looking at other options! and in all honesty would you like to work in a place like this - i mean how unprofessional?!


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## levelhead (10 May 2007)

I think this is a bit like The Firm if anyones read it trying to make sure your in a stable enviroment and not likely to leave. Totally wrong.


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## Humpback (10 May 2007)

Very interesting thread here. A couple of comments through it have interested me, mostly along the same lines.



			
				extopia said:
			
		

> It's frankly astonishing that anyone at a large international company would ask these





			
				ci1 said:
			
		

> They are a big international company I assumed their interviewing techniques would be better.


 
From recent experiences, it amazes me that people will always assume the best from "large international companies". Just because they're large, or international, doesn't mean they're in any way perfect. In fact, in many situations, these kinds of companies get so big and impersonal that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, and more than that, doesn't care.

Dr.Moriarty has it spot on, I think.



> I get the feeling that a lot of these inappropriate questions are attributable more to benign ineptitude


 
Having worked for 3 "large international companies", each of them the number 1 company in their line of business, each time it was a result of such ineptitude on the part of managers or HR that I decided to move on. I can't say that Irish companies are better, but I'm working for my first Irish company now, and so far so good.

With regards to the specific situaion mentioned here, regarding next steps for ci1 if she's decided that this isn't a place to work - a conclusion I would have come to after the initial interview, not matter how much I wanted the job. The kind of company this is has only been reinforced by the lack of response. There's no reason for such a lack of communication, full stop. If the boss is on holidays, there's someone else in charge who can make such contact, or there's HR, or there's minions around. No communication is a simple lack of respect.

Back to next steps. ci1 needs to determine whether a complaint about this interview will cause them difficulties in the future. The HR and recruitment circles in Dublin, and Ireland, are pretty enclosed, where everybody pretty much knows everybody. While there may not be any official communications between people working in companies, there's always the conversation over a beer where the question is asked "didn't your people have an issue with person x making some complaint about you?" and the answer is "that's right, I'd give them a wide berth". You'll just be left hanging for weeks with no response to your job application, and you'll never know why. 

And this won't be written down on any interview documentation, so even if you demand feedback on your application, they're not obliged to tell you the actual reasons why - unless they're really stupid and write it down - which, lets face it, on the basis of my post already, they're quite likely to do as well.


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## CharlieC (11 May 2007)

http://www.unison.ie/irish_independent/stories.php3?ca=9&si=1797239&issue_id=15391

Teacher got 1k as a result of being asked discriminatory questions at interview.

Chalk it down to experience and move on, the job market in Ireland is small



I hire people in my company and reasons for delaying making a decision
-recruitment freezes
-waiting on sign-off from above
-waiting on first choice candidate to decide

Typically for unsuccessful candidates, I give feedback to agency that evening


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## RainyDay (11 May 2007)

ci1 said:


> I do intend on making a formal complaint about the interview though.  So where do I start?


Try the Equality Authority for advice, and the Equality Tribunal to submit your claim and see case histories of previous claims. I think the 'small world' suggested reasons for NOT making a claim are exaggerated. Things will not improve unless we stand up and be counted. My own view is that you might be better making your point directly to the HR director of the organisation, rather than making a claim for compo.


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## ci1 (11 May 2007)

Thanks RainyDay,

was on to the Employment authority and got lots of info and forms from them today.
they said I could only file a complaint if I did NOT get offered the job.
so next week I'll mail the guy again and try get some kind of answer, If I have not been successful then I'll fire ahead with a complaint.

I agree with your comments, it is a small world but thats not a good enough reason to let this kind of thing go.  This is my career at the end of the day.

thanks again,


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## ci1 (31 May 2007)

Hi All,

back to haunt you with this again.

8 weeks later and still have heard nothing. Sent a mail week and a half ago to the guy and no reply.
at this stage I want to make a complaint regarding the questions at the interview but Employment Authority say I have to have received some kind of correspondance confirming that I was not being offered the job.

If they don't send me a letter or mail confirming I was not chosen I basiclly cannot lodge a complaint but how can I get a response either way??

he won't respond to an email so I highly doubt he'll be efficient enough to send me a letter!
I also heard on the grape vine that the position has still not been filled so its not like they've offered to someone else,

so what now is basiclly what I need opinions on?

Thanks,


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## Gabriel (31 May 2007)

ci1 said:


> so what now is basiclly what I need opinions on?



Honestly? You should drop the idea of taking this further. It will only cause you grief. It may also come back to bite you in the bum further down the line in your career...as already pointed out Ireland is a small place.

Chalk it down to experience and move on...life's too short.

From the questions you were asked what you should have done is this...hindsight is wonderful I know.

*was I married?* "Is that question relevant to the role?"
*was I single?* "Is that question relevant to the role?"
*is that why you are so career driven?* "Again, is my marital status relevant to my personal career goals?"
*Am I a career girl?* ...

At this point I would have stood up and said that the line of questioning was inappropriate and that I would not be continuing the interview. I would have asked to see his/her superior and if there was no one available I would have written a letter of complaint to the company concerning the interview.

It's eight weeks on now...you will find very little satisfaction from going down the legal route. All momentum has now gone. Also...why are you waiting to hear from a company who asked you these types of questions at an interview and then don't let you know the status of your application after numerous emails from yourself? Has the penny not dropped that you perhaps had a lucky escape?


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