# ex BF claims i owe him 1200?



## Blossy (26 Jun 2008)

Hi All, dunno if this is the rite thread but i have a question to ask.

I am no longer living with the father of my child, and when we were togther we rented a house. he claims to have given me the deposit and half of months rent in adance which is 850+425 approx 1200. this was three years ago! 
After ten months he no longer lived there. Since then we have been on and off...and i eventually decided to move on and buy my own house, its an AF house so the process was slow.
Here is where its gets messy, i moved in with him until my house was ready and i paid him rent. ( we were not a couple) and he stopped paying me my maintenance. Now since i got the keys to my house he suddenly is demanding that i pay the 1200 or so that i owe him!!! 
he has given me a week to come up with it or else he will take it out of my maintenance everyweek... this i really depend on. its 70/pw.

i have done the obvious and asked him for a withdrawal slip etc to prove he had that much money at the time.
He was not on any contract or lease agreement, its not in any writing anywhere that he even lived in the house.
but if he proves it at the time then i will repay it..
he is the father of my child and i dont want a bitter life with him...like it or not i have to deal with the man for another 15years so i really dont want a big drama. if anyone has any advice on how i can appraoch this it would be great

Sorry for the long post!!!


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## rmelly (26 Jun 2008)

Can you check your own accounts/statements to see if you had the money yourself at the time? If not then maybe he did help out.



> He was not on any contract or lease agreement, its not in any writing anywhere that he even lived in the house.


 
In your first line you say 'we rented a house', so sounds like he did live there?


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## lightup (26 Jun 2008)

Blossy said:


> he claims to have given me the deposit and half of months rent in adance which is 850+425 approx 1200. this was three years ago!


 
Did he give you this?  If so, and you received it back when you moved out of the house, then you should pay it back.

See if he would agree to a small amount each week if you would find it hard to pay it all back in a lump sum.


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## jhegarty (26 Jun 2008)

Did he pay the money (I suggest if you don't remember getting 1200 together then he possibly did). 

Also was it you who got the money back when you left the rented property ?


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## Blossy (26 Jun 2008)

to be honest i cant remember back that far! it was before we had the baby and i was working full time at the time..and he was between jobs! thats why i find it hard to believe he gave it to me!

What i meant by he not there, is that on  paper he never lived there...just pointing it out as would he have a legal rite to sue me for the money or take it from my maintenance??

Sorry

I have tried looking thru what papers i have myself but just moved house so its been a mess trying to find them!


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## Blossy (26 Jun 2008)

Also i didnt receive any deposit back from the landlord!


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## so-crates (26 Jun 2008)

whyever not?


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## rmelly (26 Jun 2008)

Sorry, meant to say - if he did live there, then he should have paid half of deposit anyway, and half of each months rent, so the maximum he should be due back is 850 (half of deposit plus half of month in advance), if it is accepted that he contributed the money in the first place.


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## Blossy (26 Jun 2008)

ok! he claims he gave me the FULL deposit, the fact that i didnt get it back is not his problem! 
the half months rent in advance was lived by me in the last month of the lease.

I suppose all i can do is, check my own accounts etc to see the story. my real question is if i cant find any proof for this and he doesnt provide it from his side?
what happens...its his word against mine. and Can he legaly reduce my maintenance, if he was to sue me for it, does he have a strong case.

re reading this, it looks like im trying to dodge this debt. but believe me i would repay him in a flash to get this off me and move on with my life...the reason i bought a house on the other side of the city.!   i just dont want to be played for a fool!! he is in the building trade and job cut back so i am sus that he wants to reduce maintence or else get money easy! why else wait this long to ask, why not ask when he moved out?

these are questions to ask him...but communication has broken down...things are still fairly raw!


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## dazza21ie (26 Jun 2008)

I presume from the post that you were not married. Therefore the maintenance that he is paying is for his child that he is legally obliged to provide for. Is the maintenance based on an agreement between the two of you or on a court order? If it is a court order then he would have no right to deduct anything from the maintenance.


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## heretohelp (26 Jun 2008)

he cant dock your maintenance what a joke , and why only mention the 1200 now ????? why did you not get your deposit back ??

you need to consult with a solicitor and sort out proper maintenance for your child . the maximum amount in court you can get is 150 per week a child. that is in the district court.


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## Blossy (1 Jul 2008)

Hi all, thanks for your replies, i have decided to write up an agreement stating i will pay back a specific amount! i have decided on giving him back some of the deposit and only one week of the months rent in advance as he left on the 21st of the month! 
he hasnt provided proof to me but i cant see why he would lie either. i dont want this to hang over me so hopefully he will agree to the terms i have written if not it can go to court! thanks again!


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## Lauren (1 Jul 2008)

You mentioned in the thread though that most of this amount was the deposit paid to the landlord, that you both lived in the property and that you didn't get the deposit back. If you didn't get the deposit back, then maybe it was used to cover the cost of some damage due to the landlord that you were both responsible for? Therefore you don't owe your ex any of the deposit as it was retained by the landlord...Could this be the case?


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## csirl (1 Jul 2008)

He cant deduct from the maintenance as this belongs to the child, not you personally. 

If he believes you owe him money, it will have to come from you directly. Whether or you owe him money depends on what agreements you had at the time over it - whether it was a loan to you or a contribution to the home that you both lived in.

If it turns out that you do owe him money (and I'm not saying you do because it cant be determined from the information on this thread), he should pay you the full maintenance (for which you should issue him a receipt if paid in cash) and then you should pay him what is owed in an entirely separate transaction. This dispute over a deposit has absolutely nothing to do with your childs maintenance payment and so the 2 should never be mixed or balanced against each other.



> What i meant by he not there, is that on paper he never lived there...


 
There's no such thing as not living there on paper. He either lived there or he didnt. Would I be correct in guessing that you were claiming some benefits on the basis that you were a single parent and that you are afraid that if your ex were to try and sue you for the money, it may expose this situation?


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## csirl (1 Jul 2008)

> you need to consult with a solicitor and sort out proper maintenance for your child . the maximum amount in court you can get is 150 per week a child. that is in the district court.


 
Since the two of you dont seem to be getting on, I would echo the above advice. You need to have this formalised. You also may be getting short changed on the maintenance - €70 per week is on the low side. Remember that the money belongs to your child and it is in the childs best interest that it be paid promptly without interference and it is an adequate amount.


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## Jethro (7 Jul 2008)

Hi.

Just read through this thread now, and the one thing that bothers me is what happened to the deposit. If you have not asked the landlord for it back then you should do so immediately. If it is not being returned then get a written explanation from the landlord.

Don't just assume you are responsible for repaying this to your ex unless someone explains clearly why this is the case.

I also agree with other posters that you need to get the maintenance sorted out legally. As far as I can see you are prepared to have a written agreement to repay a deposit (even though you don't know what happened to it) and yet you may not have a written agreement for maintenance for your child.

Please talk to a solicitor (I am not one BTW ). Don't sell yourself short or get stuck financially.

Cheers.


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## Yorrick (8 Jul 2008)

If he is paying you maintenance as a result of a court judgement he will be in breach of the judgement if he stops or reduces the payment,

Any other issues about money owed is separate and should not be dragged in to the maintenance payment.
If he has a case let him get a solicitor to pursue it


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## Blossy (22 Jul 2008)

hi all, sorry for not getting back to ye on this, since last posting, he just throws 40into the childs bag and doesnt speak to me or anything, i have asked him for something in writing to show this! i dont wnat to and cant afford to go to court over this, can i just get a solicitor to write up a letter stating that he cannot reduce maintenance etc. its just to give him a fright not to actually go to court...also how much would this cost??


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