# nursery rhymes- By The DiceMan



## ThomasJ (26 May 2005)

Mary had a little skirt
 with splits right up the sides
 and every time that Mary walked
 the boys could see her Thighs
 Mary had another skirt
 twas split right up the front
 ...but she didn't wear that one very often



 Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
 Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
 What have you got there?
 Said the Pieman unto Simon,
 Pies, you dickhead.


 Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
 Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
 All the kings horses and all the kings men,
 said "F*** him, He's only an egg.


 Mary had a little lamb
 It ran into a pylon.
 10,000 volts went up it's ass
 and turned it's wool to nylon



 Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
 kissed the girls and made them cry.
 When the boys came out to play,
 He kissed them too, cause he was gay.



 Jack and Jill
 Went up the hill
 to have some hanky panky.
 Silly Jill forgot her pill

 And now there's little Franky.

 Old Mother Hubbard
 Went to the cupboard
 to fetch her poor dog a bone.
 When she bent over
 Rover took over,
 And gave her a bone of his own.



 Little Boy Blew.
 Hey. He needed the money.


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## ClubMan (26 May 2005)

Who is the _DiceMan_ in this context? Not _Dublin's _own (via _Scotland_) late, lamented  by any chance?


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## ThomasJ (26 May 2005)

No...
This is the world famous Andrew Dice Clay from Brooklyn....


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## Seagull (27 May 2005)

Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham,
A slice of veal,
Apiece of steak.
Then Mary had a tummy ache.

Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantle shelf 
To see if they would fall off.


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## franmac (29 May 2005)

Mary had a little lamb
Her father killed it dead
And now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Her knickers all tattered and torn
It was'nt the spider that sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue with his horn.

Mary had a little lamb
He was full of tricks and frolicks
One day he jumped a barbed wire fence
And tore his little jumper.


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## DrMoriarty (29 May 2005)

Mary had a little lamb,
Her mother had a fit!


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## Thirsty (30 May 2005)

Old MacDonald had a farm
The Doctor was surprised
But when Mary had a little lamb
The Doctor nearly died!


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## podgerodge (30 May 2005)

this is not fair. I have a Diceman video and the rhymes are much ruder than that.  But I guess I can't put them down here..!


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## ThomasJ (31 May 2005)

of course you can....


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## Obbler (31 May 2005)

Many have tried............!!


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