# Do you answer the door when not expecting someone?



## micmclo (21 Mar 2011)

I never do
It's either the TV license inspector, some religious group, charity collectors or a salesman.
And I don't want to talk to any of them. Have often left people knocking on the door when they know well I'm there with the lights and maybe music on.
And if it were an emergency and a neighbour in trouble well they would shout, not just knock on the door and stand in the dark outside

Anyone I know calling over would call me first and it's never an issue
The postman is in the estate the same time every day so I would answer around that time, might be a parcel. Only exception I can think of

Am I alone in doing this? 
And while I'm not a lady living on my own I could understand why they might not want to answer doors late in the evening too


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## fobs (21 Mar 2011)

I would answer the door regardless but if I didn't know who was at the door and on my own then would use the door chain before answering.


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## Ciaraella (21 Mar 2011)

I would normally answer the door but i have had a couple of times where i haven't answered it, mainly if it's late in the evening and i'm on my own in the house.
I once answered the door to a man doing a survey and let him in, he sat down with me for about 15 minutes but when my husband heard about it he freaked! 
he was an older man, probably 60's but really he could have been a lunatic and in retrospect i shouldn't have really brought him into the house.
I don't like the mentality that anyone could be an axe murderer but i suppose you never know.
I think if i was on my own in the house with young children i would certainly be much more wary.


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## Latrade (21 Mar 2011)

After a certain hour of the evening I don't. Everyone we know would let us know if they're popping over. And I find that those who call to the door around dinner time or after are all cold callers collecting money or selling stuff, so I ignore it. I understand from the caller's view that this is the period when most people are at home, but I just find it so rude that they would also know that people will be sitting down to dinner at that period or that those with small kids would be busy trying to get them to bed or have just got them to bed and wouldn't appreciate the interruption.

Some are persistant in knocking if they see the light on and that's when I do answer, but they soon regret their persistance fairly soon after the door is opened.


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## TarfHead (21 Mar 2011)

Latrade said:


> After a certain hour of the evening I don't.


 
I always answer the door, but we don't normally get nuisance callers. However I do have a bee in my bonnet about people phoning the house after 9pm.

And, for door callers, when did it become OK for school kids to ask for sponsorship and expect the money up front ? When I were a lad rolleyes you had to come back with proof that you'd completed the walk or cycle or swim or whatever and, if asked, show the blisters incurred, before any money changed hands.


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## Caveat (21 Mar 2011)

Almost never. If it's dark, definitely never.


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## horusd (21 Mar 2011)

Nope. But I usually check outside thro the window just in case it's someone I know. I have a big brass knocker and one of my friends delights in frightenin the bejaysus out of me by hammerin on it!


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## truthseeker (21 Mar 2011)

I have an intercom so I can pick up a phone handset in my kitchen/living room and answer that way - without going to the door. Occasionally in the summertime the window and curtains could be open and the person can actually see and hear me answering the intercom but I dont care what they make of it - its safer.

I did once answer in the middle of the day on a Sunday afternoon and it was a young woman who was trying to scam me. She was later picked up by the guards in someones property where she had walked through an open side gate and entered the property through the kitchen door at the back. I wondered afterwards if Id been taken in by her and left the front door to get money would she have just walked into my property?

I also dislike the aggressive sales tactics of the utility providers who call and prefer to just get rid of them over the intercom or not answer at all.

Ive no interest in anyone peddling religion, or in 'artists' who claim to be selling their own work.

I know the times the postman or milkman call so would usually answer the intercom expecting it to be either of them anyway and then go to the door.


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## ivuernis (21 Mar 2011)

One of the benefits of living in an apartment is that unrequested callers can't get past the gates to bother me.


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## fizzelina (21 Mar 2011)

I answer the door if I am there (other half doesn't though as he figures a friend would ring the phone and say it's them outside) But I always have the door chain on (for safety reasons) so the door just opens slightly, enough for me to realise they are selling something or whatever and then I politely tell them I have no interest and close it as quick. I have a policy of giving no cash out at all to anyone at the door. I don't feel bad, I give to charity just not at the door / supermarket.


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## Purple (21 Mar 2011)

I always answer and never use the door chain.
I’ve no problem saying no to charity collectors and if I have time I enjoy winding up the This post will be deleted if not edited immediately Freaks.
If it's someone trying to force their way in, well, I enjoy a challenge.


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## liaconn (21 Mar 2011)

I only answer the door if I'm expecting someone. Apart from people selling stuff or doing surveys, I also hate having unexpected visitors. Probably very anti social of me but I really don't want visitors dropping in when I'm eating my dinner or have changed into my pjs and am catching up on programmes I've recorded.


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## Staples (21 Mar 2011)

In my experience, there are seldom any callers after 9 pm or so. If there was, I'd stick my head out the window to see who it was. 

Before 9pm, I have no difficulty with people calling. I have no problem with someone trying to sell me a product/service at the door as long as they have no problem when I invariably tell them I've no interest.  

In fairness to callers, it's difficult for them to know what might be the most convenient time for a particular household. In any household with children, there's never really a good time before they go to bed and at that point it's too late to call anyway.


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## JP1234 (21 Mar 2011)

No, never, no matter what time of day or evening it is, if they are not expected then they get ignored. I am glad it's not just me as the men of the house think I am odd for ignoring the doorbell.


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## callybags (21 Mar 2011)

One word of caution...

A couple of years ago I never answered to door, on the basis that anyone calling rang or texted in advance.
One Sunday morning I ignored the ring (twice). Next thing I heard a window smash downstairs and someone shuffling around.
I rang the guards and fortunately they caught him red-handed, but I've never ignored the bell since!


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## DerKaiser (21 Mar 2011)

If I answer the door and it's someone I don't want to deal with I apologise, say I'm in the middle of something important and close the door - usually the football on at top volume in the background!!


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## AgathaC (21 Mar 2011)

JP1234 said:


> No, never, no matter what time of day or evening it is, if they are not expected then they get ignored.


+1, I only answer the door when I know that someone is calling. Any 'cold caller' who proceeds to repeatedly ringing the bell or hammering the door will definitely get very short shrift.


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## Firefly (21 Mar 2011)

I always answer the door...could be a neighbour popping round as this happens the odd time. We can see who is outside anyway and have a big enough drive way to lock the gates with the zapper and release the hounds!


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## Staples (21 Mar 2011)

I'll be conducting a survery among residents in the coming weeks in support of various proposals to improve the area.

I hope none of you live on my road!


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## gabsdot (21 Mar 2011)

PLease answer the door to the census enumerator. I'm doing this job at the moment and I just have to go back again if I can't hand deliver a form.


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## ACA (21 Mar 2011)

Always answer the door, no chain or anything but.....I have a huge, very loud dog


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## Purple (21 Mar 2011)

gabsdot said:


> PLease answer the door to the census enumerator. I'm doing this job at the moment and I just have to go back again if I can't hand deliver a form.



I answered the door to my local enumerator this evening; she thought she was at a different house.


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## truthseeker (22 Mar 2011)

Firefly said:


> We can see who is outside anyway and have a big enough drive way to lock the gates with the zapper and release the hounds!


 
lol - I like this one!!


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## horusd (22 Mar 2011)

truthseeker said:


> lol - I like this one!!


 

Hmmm firefly sounds like Mongomery Burns from the Simpsons.Could it be him ?


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## Staples (22 Mar 2011)

Purple said:


> I answered the door to my local enumerator this evening; she thought she was at a different house.


 
Why?  Have you done it up since the last census?


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## Firefly (22 Mar 2011)

It's the whites in their eyes I love to see...cracks me up every time.


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## Firefly (22 Mar 2011)

horusd said:


> Hmmm firefly sounds like Mongomery Burns from the Simpsons.Could it be him ?



Eggcellent  (taps his fingers)


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## bullbars (22 Mar 2011)

Not answering the door is strange behaviour in my opinion! Are people that afraid these days that they cant answer the door wthout a prior appointment being made?


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## truthseeker (22 Mar 2011)

I think its partially about safety and partially about not wanting to be bothered by aggressive sales tactics of cold callers/people peddling religion/scam artists.

I do know someone who was physically attacked by someone she answered the door to but that is the rare story I would hope.


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## Ceist Beag (22 Mar 2011)

I think it's probably more a sign that people tend not to visit friends/relatives unannounced any more.


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## Sylvester3 (22 Mar 2011)

I was brought up as a Jehovahs Witness and I always loved the fact that few people answered the door. I always found the experience of talking to strangers nerve-wracking especially as I didn't believe a word of it myself and was doing it for my family's approval. Now I'm an honest to goodness athiest, but I will always be polite to cold callers - I have a lot of sympathy!!


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## liaconn (22 Mar 2011)

Ceist Beag said:


> I think it's probably more a sign that people tend not to visit friends/relatives unannounced any more.


 
I agree. When I was a child people would often call around unannounced in the evenings and stay for tea and cake. I remember my father cursing because he was watching something on telly and my mother running around picking up newspapers and dirty cups before she opened the door. I would just never nowadays turn up unnanounced to someone and stay for the evening. I also hate people calling over without letting me know. I like to have the place really tidy and something nice in for them to eat or drink. I wish I was more relaxed about it but I'm just not.


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## truthseeker (22 Mar 2011)

liaconn said:


> I would just never nowadays turn up unnanounced to someone and stay for the evening.


 
Neither would I, but I would think it was ok to call for a specific reason for just a few minutes (like I got some free perfume in work and I know its one you like so thought Id drop one into you). So I could show up unannounced and have friends who do also - never for the evening though, just for a few minutes/quick cup of tea.



liaconn said:


> I also hate people calling over without letting me know. I like to have the place really tidy and something nice in for them to eat or drink. I wish I was more relaxed about it but I'm just not.


 
At this stage I just let them see the place untidy - if they drop in unannounced they have got to expect that they may find me unprepared!!!

Usually if my friends show up without notice they hover by the window waving in at me so I know its them before answering the intercom or going to the door - I have also occasionally answered the intercom with the curtains closed and told them Im in a state of undress/about to have a shower/otherwise engaged and theyre not coming in.


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## Firefly (22 Mar 2011)

liaconn said:


> I also hate people calling over without letting me know. I like to have the place really tidy and something nice in for them to eat or drink. I wish I was more relaxed about it but I'm just not.



Mrs F is a bit of a clean house freak so we're OK there. This lead to arguments in the past, so we decided to get a cleaner in once a week at it was one of the best moves we ever made. Actually, we're thinking of getting in the cleaner on a Monday and a Friday now so we will have a clean house for the weekends and also during the week.


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## liaconn (22 Mar 2011)

I would love to be able to afford a cleaner. I live alone so the place doesn't get very messy but I still spend a few hours every weekend hoovering, cleaning and dusting and I HATE doing it.


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## Purple (22 Mar 2011)

liaconn said:


> I also hate people calling over without letting me know. I like to have the place really tidy and something nice in for them to eat or drink.


I'l call first so...


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## Firefly (22 Mar 2011)

liaconn said:


> I would love to be able to afford a cleaner. I live alone so the place doesn't get very messy but I still spend a few hours every weekend hoovering, cleaning and dusting and I HATE doing it.



That's exactly why we got one. I didn't want to be cleaning during my time off and arguing over who does what etc. We pay 25 euro for 2 hours. It's not a deep clean by means but the main areas are done well. It still leaves Mrs F the fetish of cleaning the gaps in the shower tiles with a toothbrush that she enjoys


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## truthseeker (22 Mar 2011)

25 euro for 2 hours? 

I think Id rather have my 25 euro to engage in some unnecessary ebay shopping and Ill do the hoovering when Im good and ready


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## bullbars (23 Mar 2011)

truthseeker said:


> 25 euro for 2 hours?
> 
> I think Id rather have my 25 euro to engage in some unnecessary ebay shopping and Ill do the hoovering when Im good and ready


 
+1 Thats the spirit!

My mother was always the same when we were younger; me, not so much its a home not a show house. There will be times when people living there will make a mess. None of that taking your shoes off at the door malarkey either!

I wouldn't care if people called around unnannounced, If I'm in the middle of something I'd tell them. They'd know me well enough that if 'm at something they can sit and watch and chat away if they're happy to! If I'm nursin a man cold (hangover) I'm just as blunt and tell them not to expect any insightful conversation!

Cold callers wouldn't bother me, Say no, polite but direct, door closed!


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## Latrade (23 Mar 2011)

I don't think the decline of unannounced visits is really that big a reflection of a decline in society. It's just that now because communication is so easy and straightforward that you just drop someone a text or quick call to see if their in before you pop over. So in my case it isn't that I see less of friends and family, it's just that they always give a heads up before they pop over such as "stick the kettle on".

Plus, given that in many cases you no longer live within walking "popping over" distance, you want to check someone is in before get in the car and possibly waste a trip.

Once I've had my dinner, cleaned up a bit, put the baby to bed, those last few hours before bed are my only time to relax. Even if I'm to just answer and dismiss the cold caller, it's breaking up the few hours in a weekday I get to just switch off. So I'm happier to just let them knock, hopefully it's raining, cold, windy and miserable and this odious virus of the modern world of hassling people in their homes come down with some debilitating pestilence.


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## huskerdu (23 Mar 2011)

I would consider it bad manners to ignore the door bell, when it is quite clear that you are in the house. If it is a cold calling sales person, a polite "no thanks", takes 30 seconds of my time. 

I like the fact that my neighbours call over unannounced sometimes. I live in a friendly place. My elderly next door neighbour doesn't have a mobile phone and if she has called to my door, it might be to deliver a parcel that she was good enough to take in when a delivery van called. It would be very sad if I left her standing there because I didn't want to be disturbed.  

When it was snowing, we were knocking on each others doors every day to check who needed something in the shop, or getting their kids to school. 

I couldn't live a life where I felt  locked up at home, and only welcoming people in, on invitation and only if the house is spotless ( which is never). 

We called into friends unannounced a few years ago, because we were lost and ended up close to their new house which we had not seen.  They were delighted and said it was the first time that they really felt at home in their new house, because they got their first unannounced visit. 

I like that.


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## liaconn (23 Mar 2011)

I agree with Latrade.

Where I live, none of my friends would be 'just passing by'. They would have to get into their car and drive up to me. It makes sense that they would ring or text first to make sure I'd be there (or give me time to make up an excuse if I want my evening to myself). I live in an apartment block so if the neighbours wanted to pop in with a message or whatever they would knock on my door not go outside and ring the bell. 

To be honest, by the time I get home from work via the supermarket and make dinner etc I really just want to be able to sit down for a couple of hours and veg. I prefer to know in advance if someone's calling around so I haven't got into 'zone out' mode and am ready for a bit of chat and socialising. I know my mother would think that very odd, but there you are.


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## Latrade (23 Mar 2011)

huskerdu said:


> I would consider it bad manners to ignore the door bell, when it is quite clear that you are in the house. If it is a cold calling sales person, a polite "no thanks", takes 30 seconds of my time.



I consider it bad manners to be calling in the evening unannounced deliberately targeting dinner or just after dinner time in an attempt to get me to part with money. 

But also to reiterate: people still pop around. Friends, neighbours, family all of them and they are always welcome. It just so happens that all of them, even next door, send a quick text to see if either we're home or free. 

There's nothing wrong with that, it's not a loss of friendly neighbours, it's just that modern technology affords us a courtesy we didn't have in the past. It's not always convenient for someone to pop around at that specific time, mobile phones enable people just to check that it is. It's not hermetically sealing yourself from society.


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## liaconn (23 Mar 2011)

To be honest I would be mortified if I called around to someone and it was quite clear I was interrupting their dinner, or they'd been in the shower or they had other friends already there and I was not really welcome. I would far prefer to check in advance and know I was calling in at a time that suited them. Even years ago when 'popping in' was commonplace I bet there was a lot of gritted teeth and reluctantly made pots of tea by people who were raging they were missing their favourite programme or had been looking forward to curling up on the couch with a book once the kids were in bed.


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## Marion (23 Mar 2011)

Perhaps the best thing would be for people to have a hat just inside the door. 

An old lady in the village would always have a hat on when she opened the door.

If she didn't want to entertain somebody she said, "So sorry, but I'm getting ready to go out". 

If she was happy to see somebody she said, "I'm just back - come in".

Seems, it's not just a sign of the times! 

Marion


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