# Additional charges at weddings - I've heard it all now!!



## europhile (18 Sep 2006)

An acquaintance has just told me that he has been quoted EU15 PER GUEST for cushions for the seats at his wedding in a west County Dublin hotel. Personally, I would tell them to shove their cushions up their gooters and take my business elsewhere.


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## DrMoriarty (18 Sep 2006)

He could contact them, thank them for advising him and say that fortunately, he's _just_ in time to add an extra line to the wedding invitations, explaining about the hotel's proposed €15 charge and inviting guests to bring their own cushions..?


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## Humpback (18 Sep 2006)

DrMoriarty said:


> inviting guests to bring their own cushions..?


 
But would there be some sort of corking charge associated with bringing your own cushions then?


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## Marie M (18 Sep 2006)

Is this to do with "dressing" the wedding? You can pay extra if you want a special cover and bows etc on your chairs..


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## Megan (18 Sep 2006)

Marie M said:


> Is this to do with "dressing" the wedding? You can pay extra if you want a special cover and bows etc on your chairs..


I think it is more to do with an added profit for the hotel. As well as that they don't have to worry about the overall condition of the chairs as they are going to be covered -  which can be taking off and washed for the next foolish couple who are fooled into this racket of hotels' pricing.
Somebody has to call halt to all this nonsence associated with weddings.


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## Humpback (18 Sep 2006)

Megan said:


> Somebody has to call halt to all this nonsence associated with weddings.


 
They wouldn't continue to have these charges if people didn't actually pay them. If consumers (in this case happy couples) said no, and in fact, pulled their business completely from the hotel because of such charges, you'd soon see the end of them.

But Irish consumers, I believe, won't take such strong action. We've got too much money to be worried about such things - in general.


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## nelly (18 Sep 2006)

because they have Oirish guests who will compare and Biddy and Moan about the couple "scrimpin on this wedding compared to the last one we were at..." (even thought they are being fed a royal prices)
Deafness is not what most couples want to have to develop on their wedding day so they probably feel compelled to have the extras- that said it was €6k for our room to be "dressed", i dunno if that included cushions - it was struck out immediatly as a _Franc _extra that we did not need....


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## Humpback (18 Sep 2006)

nelly said:


> that said it was €6k for our room to be "dressed", i dunno if that included cushions - it was struck out immediatly as a _Franc _extra that we did not need....


 
Do I understand this correctly? You spend €6k on dressing a room for your wedding?



nelly said:


> because they have Oirish guests who will compare and Biddy and Moan about the couple "scrimpin on this wedding compared to the last one we were at..."


 
And did you do this because of these people that *YOU* invited to your own wedding?

I'm dumbfounded.


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## Grizzly (18 Sep 2006)

I wonder will each cushion have a €2 credit card charge per person rather than the one off €2 charge for the lot?


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## Guest127 (18 Sep 2006)

I though the only dressing necessary in your room on your wedding night was _undressing _


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## Chamar (19 Sep 2006)

ronan_d_john said:


> They wouldn't continue to have these charges if people didn't actually pay them. If consumers (*in this case happy couples*)



....."bridezillas" you mean.


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## liteweight (19 Sep 2006)

Chamar said:


> ....."bridezillas" you mean.



I think the groom is just as bad these days. Weddings have gone the same way as .....the right house, the right car etc. 

I wonder how long this hotel has had these cushions for. At EU15 a head or is it backside, they've bought them ten times over in the last year I'll bet!

Do you get to take them home with you? Like party bag favours I mean?


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## nelly (19 Sep 2006)

liteweight said:


> I think the groom is just as bad these days



I agree, there would have been no wedding had I even considered paying for this "room dressing" lark  incidentally it means AFAIK , putting on chair covers and folding the napkins a different way than what they fold for free and maybe coordinating the colour of the table flowers to match your "theme".... The crazy thing is that if you do not pay this charge the hotel is not going to look a wreak, as they are in the business of looking good as potential customers are all around. 

But in defense of all the bridzillas out there, hotels are VERY pushy as are Parents who are now forking out crazy cash so their darlings have a "proper" do in Ireland instead of small or foreign weddings - they will pay for all this plaver on behalf of the couple who may only want an easy life..
just a thought.


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## Bamhan (19 Sep 2006)

Wedding venues in Ireland seem to be booked up years in advance so hotels can chance their arm at adding on ridiculous costs to the 'happy couple' who cannot say no we are not paying and go to another hotel in the area which has probabaly been booked up for the next three years....


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## bearishbull (19 Sep 2006)

What happened to two people in love sharing their happy day with friends and family? More of a p!ssing contest for "best party" nowadays. All this extra luxury "stuff" is just a waste of money of demonstrates how materialistic people have become, none of that stuff adds to your joy in getting marrried and most guests wont even notice after a few pints.


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## Glenbhoy (19 Sep 2006)

Having done 7 weddings in the past 18 months (mine included), i haven't seen any of the add-ons, in fairness, I might not notice them, but I can categorically say I've yet to see ice sculptures, chocolate fountains and big ribbons on me chair.
Maybe it's a Dublin thing as all the weddings I've been to have been down the country?


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## Bamhan (19 Sep 2006)

The things I have noticed at weddings which can add a lot to the cost are disposable cameras, little boxes of chocolates at the tables, a piper leading the couple to their tables, unusual place settings, and white chair covers with a ribbon attached to the back.
All pretty but unnecessary and costly without adding very much to the experience.

Most people discuss the meal and the band and what people wore and how much they had to drink after a wedding not what sort of bow as attached to the back of the chair!


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## nelly (19 Sep 2006)

Bamhan said:


> Most people discuss the meal and the band and what people wore and how much they had to drunk after a wedding not what sort of bow as attached to the back of the chair!



defo apart from the ceremony itself the most talked about / remembered elements of a good party are the grub and band. and maybe a fight or accident that may occur.


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## car (19 Sep 2006)

Ive worked in entertainment (Wedding DJ) for last 10 years and attend between 30-40 weddings a year.  The below is based on what Ive seen and after talking to guests and bride and grooms

Food. beef or salmon/corn fed chicken etc instead of turkey and ham can make a difference of 1500e (10e extra for 150 people).   People are hungry with a couple of drinks on, theyll eat anything.

Buses.  Is it 300e plus per bus?  Ive seen 3 dublin buses lined up to take 4 people home.  Forget about them unless you know for a fact therell be lots (50-60) going to the afters.

Toast. this is expensive costing up to 6-700euro to buy everyone a drink.  you dont need it.  everyone has a drink in their hand and will just order more for the sake of it.  

Cars.  c500e to get picked up.  Hire a ferrari and drive it yourselves. still cost you a few bob, but you get to drive it!

Country weddings for dublin people.  "Oh honey, lets share our day with everyone we know by having our wedding in a lovely castle in cashel".   Average couple before new clothes and pressie now has to spend 200e on accomodation and arrange babysitters and transport.    No matter how scenic you think your wedding day looks in that castle, half the people there will be looking at you and thinking "wtf did they make us pay all of this money for, why didnt they just get jurys?".  If you wanna share your day, have it central to the majority of people who are going to it, this has been said to me by a LOT of people.

same goes for foreign weddings, wanna go foreign? invite close family and have a party when you get back.  People love a day out with friends and family, not a week.

fireworks. forget them.  youll spend 2-300e plus on some bangers.  Unless you get the lads who do skyfest, theyre a waste of money.  Noone will say this to the brides face though. 


Pipers.  these are so-so, they can add to the occassion but more often then not dont.  

Items Ive seen that just always seem to work:
chocolate fountains. 
chicken and mushroom vol au vents for starters.  
finger food during the night.  Make sure this is good and plentiful!!
really good entertainment, from DJs to bands to church singers to magicians to clowns to irish dancers, Ive seen them all and people remark on them long after the weddings more then anything else.  Yes, I do work in entertanment so I may be biased but Ive seen couples save a couple hundred euro and get a not-great band and have people in their chairs all night admiring the 2000e the bride spent on wedding favours ( chocolates, hand tied dinner menus, chair bows, little stones imported from egypt with the bride and grooms names written in chinese etc, etc, etc).  

anyway, my 2 cents. (oh yeah, and pay the DJs more money  )

-- having reread this and other posts, you get the gist, lots of food and music.  save on the rest and spend it on your honeymoon.


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## Marie M (19 Sep 2006)

Brilliantly put.


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## liteweight (19 Sep 2006)

Out of curiousity, how much is the meal per head nowadays? Just want to see how long I have to lock up my daughters for!!


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## HelloJed (19 Sep 2006)

Fair play Car and well said. I've started turning down invitations to acquaintances' weddings that are outside of Dublin or the country. (I'll make the exception for close mates though) 

I understand that everything seems to be booked up these days, and it's annoying that Ireland is still quite limiting about where people can get married...but wedding ceremonies on a Thursday, Friday or Monday are a pain if you don't live in the area where it's held. I just can't afford everything that goes with it - accommodation, transport, drinks, taking time off work.


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## Bamhan (19 Sep 2006)

Agree big time with the hassle of taking a day off work for a wedding of anyone other than family.


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## car (19 Sep 2006)

Meal costs depend on the menu and the venue and location.  Ive seen anything from 30e per head up to 130e per head.    If you take a choice of meals it costs more as the hotel needs to order more of both to be able to cater.  150 turkey and ham is 150 servings, but the same for beef or salmon is probably 130 beef and 70 salmon (whatever the split is).  So now not only is the beef or salmon more expensive on its own but youre also paying for 200 meals just to give guests a choice. 

Same for starters.  Soup and vol au vents (see earlier post) are tasty as bejaysus and at the bottom of the menu for costs.  Try replacing that with oyster mousse and kipper shavings served up in mermaids knee caps and watch the hotelier laughing all the way to the bank while the chef curses you as his prep time goes up.


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## Glenbhoy (19 Sep 2006)

Agree with most of your musings Car, but I would be in favour of giving something different than just turkey and ham for dinner.  You gotta remember that the happy couple are probably getting circa €85 a head in gift format (most people specify money in my experience, or certainly want it), so a spending a little extra on the food is worthwhile, same goes for the toast, sure it's an opportunity to return a little to the people who have made the effort of turning up (and let's face it, there are many would be as happy to be elsewhere).
A good saving we employed was on the wine, bought it up north about 6 months in advance when there were some good deals on, corkage is still extortionate, but it was much cheaper and better than the cheapest the hotel were offering.


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## Humpback (19 Sep 2006)

Glenbhoy said:


> so a spending a little extra on the food is worthwhile, same goes for the toast, sure it's an opportunity to return a little to the people who have made the effort of turning up (and let's face it, there are many would be as happy to be elsewhere).


 
Why would you be bothered with people who are showing up grudgingly at your wedding?


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## car (19 Sep 2006)

more musings..

Good point on the wine.  If the hotel will let you, it can still be cheaper to get your own wolfblass pressie selection up north and pay corkage then let the guests drink the hotel lambrusco.

Well, ok on the food, give them a little bit better then T&H,  but dont give a choice, its such a waste.  

turkey and ham costs say 13e per head. = 1950e
beef = 18e per head
salmon = 20e per head
5e per head extra for giving a choice so priced at higher of 20e for salmon plus 5e a head = 25e at 150 = 3750e 
(3750 - 1950) = 1700 so it now costs _you_ 1700 euro to give your guests something _nicer_ to eat.    
Might seem scroogy but think what you could do with that 1700e.  the guests are already eating something anyway, get a clown to entertain the kids while adults have a drink and eat dinner, get a magician in to walk around tables pre and post dinner.  cost c400e.  now you have 1300 extra to hire the personal scuba diving lessons from Inga/Brad the swedish diving  teachers when youre on honeymoon.  If you have the funds anyway, go for it, but whats gonna give you more satisfaction, Inga? or Aunt Helen picking salmon bones out of her dentures?


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## Glenbhoy (19 Sep 2006)

ronan_d_john said:


> Why would you be bothered with people who are showing up grudgingly at your wedding?


Because the same people would be moaning if they didn't get invites.  Besides, since we assume that many guests are actually there under protest, surely the least you can do is try and help them enjoy the day.  Maybe I'm wrong with my assumption, but when you think about it, people are invited as they're friends of either groom or bride, it's quite usual that the partner of the main invitee will not know either person, thus they may well be there under protest, or at worst would be as happy being elsewhere.


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## RainyDay (19 Sep 2006)

europhile said:


> An acquaintance has just told me that he has been quoted EU15 PER GUEST for cushions for the seats at his wedding in a west County Dublin hotel. Personally, I would tell them to shove their cushions up their gooters and take my business elsewhere.



Why the drama & fuss? Can he not just say that he doesn't want/need cushions?


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## liteweight (20 Sep 2006)

car said:


> Same for starters.  Soup and vol au vents (see earlier post) are tasty as bejaysus and at the bottom of the menu for costs.  Try replacing that with oyster mousse and kipper shavings served up in mermaids knee caps and watch the hotelier laughing all the way to the bank while the chef curses you as his prep time goes up.


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## nelly (20 Sep 2006)

ronan_d_john said:


> Why would you be bothered with people who are showing up grudgingly at your wedding?



here here, 

we had turkey and ham or salmon for dinner (so common) - because Hubbie loves ham and i like fish - we were paying the bill too €35 per head not including the drink for toast and wine which was also provided - all in you are talking about €50 per head.  
Also, we expected nothing but was glad with the gifts we got - and they varied. If you assume everyone gives in excess of €150 then think again, but the point is not the gift but the sharing the day. Its an honour to get the invite, and an honour to have someone grace your wedding with their precence, people these days have busy lives and expensive lifestyles. 

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind was the motto for my wedding planning and we came in bang on budget - just as well because it was all the cash we had to spend!


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## LIVERLIPS (6 Oct 2006)

I am getting married next year and  we are paying it ourselves, i am not going to be stupid with money and waste it on stuff like disposable cameras, favours  and irish dancers etc. Our hotel is about 60 euro per head & drinks. We are not giving a choice of main course we will find out is there anyone who does not eat meat and then they can have chicken or salmon. Plus we are putting on a bus from the church and after the reception but we will be telling people in advance and we know it will be used. What normally happens is if the reception is a distance away people normally have no choice but to drive and then stay over in a B&B or the hotel. Where are church and hotel are in the same part of the city.

Shop around for everything and use the internet ebay and gownsales.com for bridesmaids dresses etc. From what i noticed from friends weddings if their parents are paying for alot they do not seem to shop around as much for stuff compared to if they where using their own money.


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## liteweight (6 Oct 2006)

Liverlips....chicken is meat!! Salmom is fish but vegetarians only eat vegetables.


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## Humpback (6 Oct 2006)

liteweight said:


> Liverlips....chicken is meat!! Salmom is fish but vegetarians only eat vegetables.


 
And if you're buying sandwiches in Dublin, cheese is meat apparently.


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## Bamhan (6 Oct 2006)

liteweight said:


> Liverlips....chicken is meat!! Salmom is fish but vegetarians only eat vegetables.




Vegetarians eat foods other than vegetables!


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## Cahir (6 Oct 2006)

Bamhan said:


> Vegetarians eat foods other than vegetables!



But definitely not chicken or fish.  Some people claim to be vegetarian and then eat fish.  From the vegetarian society website:


Pseudo-Vegetarian 

Someone who claims to be vegetarian, but isn't. This is particularly confusing to new vegetarians and in restaurants. A person will state that they are vegetarian, but then go on to order fish. 


This is annoying for real vegetarians.


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## ney001 (6 Oct 2006)

car said:


> Meal costs depend on the menu and the venue and location.  Ive seen anything from 30e per head up to 130e per head.    If you take a choice of meals it costs more as the hotel needs to order more of both to be able to cater.  150 turkey and ham is 150 servings, but the same for beef or salmon is probably 130 beef and 70 salmon (whatever the split is).  So now not only is the beef or salmon more expensive on its own but youre also paying for 200 meals just to give guests a choice.
> 
> Same for starters.  Soup and vol au vents (see earlier post) are tasty as bejaysus and at the bottom of the menu for costs.  Try replacing that with oyster mousse and kipper shavings served up in mermaids knee caps and watch the hotelier laughing all the way to the bank while the chef curses you as his prep time goes up.




Is that why mermaids have to grow flippers


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## ClubMan (6 Oct 2006)

ronan_d_john said:


> And if you're buying sandwiches in Dublin, cheese is meat apparently.


Maybe it contains calf rennet?


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## liteweight (6 Oct 2006)

ClubMan said:


> Maybe it contains calf rennet?


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## Swallows (6 Oct 2006)

Bad news *Liverlips*, as someone else has said, meat is meat, so is chicken and salmon. Vegetarians eat dishes made from vegetables, pasta, nut roast, etc. I agree not spending a huge amount of money makes a lot of sense.My daughter is vegetarian, the first thing she asks when invited to a wedding is what time is the dinner. She knows all she will be able to eat is what ever vegetable is served up with the main course. If roast potatoes are on the menu they are out because they will have been cooked in the fat of the meat. So, she has to take sandwiches to fill up before the dinner. A wedding is usually a long day and by the time the reception comes round everyone is starving, including the vegetarian. But usually they are not catered for and are left hungry unless they bring their own food. It's not very polite to go digging on the plate either to see if there is gravy ( made from the juices of the meat ) you see the problem.


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## Kiddo (6 Oct 2006)

Swallows said:


> Bad news *Liverlips*, as someone else has said, meat is meat, so is chicken and salmon. Vegetarians eat dishes made from vegetables, pasta, nut roast, etc. I agree not spending a huge amount of money makes a lot of sense.My daughter is vegetarian, the first thing she asks when invited to a wedding is what time is the dinner. She knows all she will be able to eat is what ever vegetable is served up with the main course. If roast potatoes are on the menu they are out because they will have been cooked in the fat of the meat. So, she has to take sandwiches to fill up before the dinner. A wedding is usually a long day and by the time the reception comes round everyone is starving, including the vegetarian. But usually they are not catered for and are left hungry unless they bring their own food. It's not very polite to go digging on the plate either to see if there is gravy ( made from the juices of the meat ) you see the problem.


 
I've never heard of a hotel that didn't offer a vegetarian option at a wedding. Most hotels don't include it on the menu but will have asked the bride and groom for a rough idea of how many vegetarian guests to expect. Tell your daughter to tell the waiting staff at the next wedding that she's vegetarian and she should get a suitable dish. Each table at our wedding was asked if there were any vegetarians and they were catered for ...afaik it was a vegetable pasta bake. The hotel usually offer the vegetarian dish to any guests who don't eat the main course...we had beef.


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## Molly (10 Oct 2006)

> But usually they are not catered for and are left hungry unless they bring their own food.


 
I've yet to go to a wedding that did'nt have a vegetarian option. Its not usually on the menu, but is always available if asked for.


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## MugsGame (10 Oct 2006)

I was at a wedding recently where the couple themselves were vegetarians. They had three vegetarian main course options, plus a limited non-vegetarian option which they quickly ran out of!


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## Cahir (10 Oct 2006)

MugsGame said:


> I was at a wedding recently where the couple themselves were vegetarians. They had three vegetarian main course options, plus a limited non-vegetarian option which they quickly ran out of!



I wish all weddings were like that!


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## MugsGame (10 Oct 2006)

Was a pretty unique and well-thought out wedding -- best woman instead of a best man, speeches before the dinner, etc.


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## LIVERLIPS (10 Oct 2006)

I see nothing changes on this forum, all some people can do is copy and paste and di-sect everything people said. Chicken is not meat it is poulty and a child could tell you that, plus what i meant about asking guests if they do not eat meat is one of my bridemaids does not eat meat only chicken or fish. Plus i will be offering vegetarian choices. 

All i can say to some of the smart people on this site is get a life and stock di-secting everything people say.


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## LIVERLIPS (10 Oct 2006)

I taught this might educate you all a bit get your facts first, i knew already that there is different types of Vegetarians but by the looks of this topic alot did not know that.

Types of Vegetarians

One thing that many people don't realize or understand is that there are different types of vegetarians. Each individual vegetarian has his or her own personal reasons for choosing their diet, and these reasons determine exactly what foods they eliminate. Although a few different reasons and motivations are described in the Why? section, below is just a brief definition of each type of vegetarian. 
Total Vegetarians eat only plant food. They do not eat any animal foods, including fish, eggs, dairy products, and honey.
Vegans not only omit all animal products from their diets, but they also eliminate them from the rest of their life. Vegans use nothing from animals, such as leather, wool, and silk.
Lacto-Vegetarians will include dairy products into their diet of plant food.
Lacto-Ovo-Vegetarians eat both eggs and dairy products.
Pesco-Vegetarians include fish into their diets.
Pollo-Vegetarians eat poultry, such as chicken, turkey, and duck.
lso their is


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## car (10 Oct 2006)

If god didnt want us to eat animals, he wouldnt have made them out of meat.  

.....can someone split this thread off into a vegetarian discussion cos Im getting hungry.  Im gonna have steak tonight, just take the horns off, slap its This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language and put it on the plate, just the way I like it.


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## ClubMan (10 Oct 2006)

LIVERLIPS said:


> Total Vegetarians eat only plant food.


You mean like _Baby Bio_ and _10:10:20_?


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## micheller (10 Oct 2006)

Damn, I thought I was a total veggie for the last 15 years!
Where am I going top get a big bag of tomato feed at this time of night


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## Cahir (11 Oct 2006)

LIVERLIPS said:


> [*]Pesco-Vegetarians include fish into their diets.
> [*]Pollo-Vegetarians eat poultry, such as chicken, turkey, and duck.[/LIST][/INDENT]lso their is



These two don't exist though.  Have a look at definitions on www.vegetarian.ie


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## Purple (11 Oct 2006)

We are meat eaters. Vegetarianism is not natural. Our intelligence and our short intestinal tract have developed over the last couple of hundred thousand years because we eat other animals. 
No one eats Giant Pandas and they are nearly extinct. Loads of people eat cows and there are millions of them. If you want to ensure the survival of a species farm it and eat it!


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## Bamhan (11 Oct 2006)

Dear God please say you are not including humans in that last comment!!!!!


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