# Are You Happy...?



## Jack The Lad (27 May 2008)

On a scale of one to ten, where one is You Can't Stop Crying and ten is You Can't Stop Laughing, how would you rate yourself _on average_ over the past three months?

It's not a trick question, nothing to do with religion or philosophy... I'm just curious.

Feel free to add any comment you like.


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## Caveat (27 May 2008)

6.

I'm guessing it will be a common answer...


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## Jack The Lad (27 May 2008)

I would rate myself at about 6.5, so you might not be too far off Caveat!

There's nothing bothering me too much these days, I have the odd day where I kick the cat (metaphoricaly speaking, I hasten to add!!), but I get over it quickly enough.


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## truthseeker (27 May 2008)

past 3 months prior to last thursday - a 5.
since last thursday - a 9.  (had a small surgical procedure on thursday that has made life a lot easier). 
I imagine Ill go back to a 7 in a few weeks when I get used to being pain free.


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## Sylvester3 (27 May 2008)

9! The bloody grin won't work. Lets try again.


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## Vanilla (27 May 2008)

I just want to check the criteria before I answer- so to be happy ( 10) means you can't stop laughing? Because that doesnt sound very comfortable. And 1 means you can't stop crying? Actually both of those sound like medical conditions.


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## Seagull (27 May 2008)

Where do people fit in who can't stop laughing, but it's a maniacal cackle?


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## Vanilla (27 May 2008)

Seagull said:


> Where do people fit in who can't stop laughing, but it's a maniacal cackle?


 

They belong in a Bond film and have no basis in reality.


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## Caveat (27 May 2008)

Vanilla said:


> They belong in a Bond film and have no basis in reality.


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## Purple (27 May 2008)

8.5


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## efm (27 May 2008)

Oh I'm easily at 8 - but then again I am a card carrying, flag waving, out of touch with reality, optimist


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## shnaek (27 May 2008)

Got to say 8.


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## ClubMan (27 May 2008)

Jack The Lad said:


> Feel free to add any comment you like.


Big bras.


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## Jack The Lad (27 May 2008)

Vanilla said:


> I just want to check the criteria before I answer- so to be happy ( 10) means you can't stop laughing? Because that doesnt sound very comfortable.


 

Aaahh it's not so bad... see how you feel after watching this...


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## The_Banker (27 May 2008)

5.5


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## efm (27 May 2008)

The_Banker said:


> 5.5


 
That all? - Are things that bad in Cork?


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## Seagull (27 May 2008)

I suspect it's that things are that bad in the financial sector.


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## bullbars (27 May 2008)

4 - 5, on a good day. "That Friday feelin" usually brings is up but the aul sunday night feelin manages to bring it right down to earth again!


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## Newbie! (27 May 2008)

Generally a 7-8. 

Honestly (and this is pathetic), I sometimes read threads here and I feel jealous of some peoples earnings and low mortgages and general good wealth. I really do try to be grateful and happy to be in a good relationship, have both our families healthy, safe and happy, have our own home and both have jobs. I did say it was pathetic.....!


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## pc7 (27 May 2008)

I'd say 8, I'm generally happy pretty much all of the time, I wake up happy so that's a good start  Defo the wine glass is pretty much half full (until the weekends then its empty hic up!)


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## DavyJones (27 May 2008)

about 3


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## Ron Burgundy (27 May 2008)

due to depression i spent years at about 1 or 2. But recently i'm about 6, depression gone and just married so suppose i'm happier than i've ever been.


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## Jack The Lad (27 May 2008)

Ron Burgundy said:


> due to depression i spent years at about 1 or 2. But recently i'm about 6, depression gone and just married so suppose i'm happier than i've ever been.


 
Fair dues to you Ron. Long may it last!


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## Purple (27 May 2008)

Newbie! said:


> Generally a 7-8.
> 
> Honestly (and this is pathetic), I sometimes read threads here and I feel jealous of some peoples earnings and low mortgages and general good wealth. I really do try to be grateful and happy to be in a good relationship, have both our families healthy, safe and happy, have our own home and both have jobs. I did say it was pathetic.....!



Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.


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## Caveat (27 May 2008)

Purple said:


> Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.


 
I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before...


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## MandaC (28 May 2008)

Interesting question, and something I have thought about recently- suppose I would sit somewhere between a 4 and and a 7 at the moment.

Just watching "Reeling in the Years" the other night - about Italia '90.  Watching back the footage, the one thing that dawned on me  was how happy I was during that Summer.  Not about any one thing, just a very very happy time postive time.  Hit me like a ton of bricks actually.


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## deedee80 (28 May 2008)

A 9 on the days when I'm aware of just how lucky I am to have what I have.

About a 5/6 on the days I get jealous of what other people have, but I soon snap out of that.

I think its difficult to be on a high all the time but I really do feel very content right now.


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## Simeon (28 May 2008)

7 - 8. People are in control of their attitudes. If you want to be angry - go for it. If you want to be sad - ditto. You learn from life that it is a far better proposition smiling, rather than scowling. As the bould Abe Lincoln said "_Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"._ Oops! On reading this, I realise that he said _'most'. _So, for the few not included - chill - if you want to and don't chill if ..................... .


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## Ceist Beag (28 May 2008)

9 - I'm very lucky with what I have and appreciate it ... life is good!


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## Caveat (28 May 2008)

MandaC said:


> the one thing that dawned on me was how happy I was during that Summer. Not about any one thing, just a very very happy time postive time.


 
Are you sure it wasn't just simply naivety? Less responsibilities, ignorance is bliss etc?


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## MandaC (28 May 2008)

Caveat said:


> Are you sure it wasn't just simply naivety? Less responsibilities, ignorance is bliss etc?



Yeah, definitely a lot of that without a doubt but definitely the happiest period in my life. 21st that year and all that. Got a shock remembering how carefree I used to be!


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## sam h (28 May 2008)

> People are in control of their attitudes. If you want to be angry - go for it. If you want to be sad - ditto.


 
People don't always choose to be sad (though I will admit some do bring it on themselves).  

I would have also gone through a stage where I probably would have said 2-4....very down & sad for NO LOGICAL reason, which was made it particularly frustrating.  I could recognise I had a wonderful family, no health issues, relatively few financial issues etc.  Actually, the fact I had so little to feel bad about, made me feel worse (I said it's not logical).  But I couldn't stop crying & feeling down!  Lasted about 2 months on 2 occassions.  Horrible, horrible time.

But worked through it I'm fine now & probably would go for 7-8.


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## Purple (28 May 2008)

Caveat said:


> Are you sure it wasn't just simply naivety? Less responsibilities, ignorance is bliss etc?


I'm am far happier now than I was 20 years ago. Being an adult means that you have more responsibilities and pressures but it also means that you have control over your life and freedom to make your own decisions. Basically your happiness is up to you.


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## Caveat (28 May 2008)

Purple said:


> I'm am far happier now than I was 20 years ago


 
I probably am too - but I agree, it's a totally different kind of happiness.


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## Lauren (28 May 2008)

*Here's a review of a book I discovered recently. Found it very interesting. See what you think. *​​​*Authentic Happiness – Martin E.P. Seligman*​Authentic Happiness is based on the Positive Psychology movement, or the idea that psychologists should be helping people feel more happy rather than simply less unhappy. Well-respected psychologist Seligman has a gift for taking years of psychology research and breaking it down into readable yet still compelling evidence to support his theories. He begins with reviewing the components that can affect happiness and how we can work to change these factors with respect to our past, present, and future. 

The meat of the book, however, lies in Seligman's notion of Signature Strengths, which he views as keys to more lasting fulfillment. Seligman focuses in particular on how to enhance your signature strengths in the areas of love, work, and raising your children (based on many examples from his own child-rearing experiences). He concludes the book by shifting into a slightly more spiritual perspective to discuss attaining a sense of meaning and purpose in life.

While bookshelves overflow with subjective and conflicting advice on happiness, Seligman offers a refreshingly scientific approach. Happiness can be explained by three key components: 
S: your homeostasis 
C: changes based on circumstance 
V: changes based on voluntary action and thoughts 

He explains that if you want to lastingly raise your level of happiness by changing the external circumstances of your life, you should do the following: 
Live in a wealthy democracy, not in an impoverished dictatorship (a 
strong effect) 
Get married (a robust effect, but perhaps not causal) 
Avoid negative events and negative emotion (only a moderat 
effect) 
Acquire a rich social network (a robust effect, but perhaps no 
causal) 
Get religion (a moderate effect) 

If you want to lastingly raise your level of happiness by "internally" changing your thoughts and actions, pursue: 
A sense of ownership and authenticity ("This is the real me") 
A feeling of excitement while displaying it, particularly at first 
A rapid learning curve as a strength is first practiced 
Continuous learning of new ways to enact the strength 
A sense of yearning to find ways to use it 
A feeling of inevitability in using the strength ("Try and stop me") 
Invigoration rather than exhaustion while using the strength 
The creation and pursuit of personal projects that revolve around it 
Joy, zest, enthusiasm, even ecstasy while using it


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## Jack The Lad (28 May 2008)

sam h said:


> People don't always choose to be sad (though I will admit some do bring it on themselves).


 
It's an interesting point. An Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who was unlucky enough to have been condemned to the concentration camps in WW 2, but lucky enough to survive, wrote a book about the very concept of that choice you mention, based on his experiences there, and his observations of those who survived. The book is "Man's Search For Meaning" and it is well worth reading; dark, but elevating and remarkable. It was voted one of America's ten most influential books by the US Library of Congress.

He went on to become Chief of Neurology in the Policlinic Hospital in Vienna, and used his theories to develop a succesful technique for treating patients who were suffering a variety of neurosis, by helping them to find the real purpose in their lives.

Here's a quote from the book...

"Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."


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## Simeon (28 May 2008)

sam h said:


> People don't always choose to be sad (though I will admit some do bring it on themselves).
> 
> I would have also gone through a stage where I probably would have said 2-4....very down & sad for NO LOGICAL reason, which was made it particularly frustrating.  I could recognise I had a wonderful family, no health issues, relatively few financial issues etc.  Actually, the fact I had so little to feel bad about, made me feel worse (I said it's not logical).  But I couldn't stop crying & feeling down!  Lasted about 2 months on 2 occassions.  Horrible, horrible time.
> 
> But worked through it I'm fine now & probably would go for 7-8.


Good for you sam h! Get stuck in the happy groove. Bobby (Somethingorother) years ago sang _Don't Worry - Be Happy._ Perhaps a soppy song but it got the jist of life.


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## Vanilla (28 May 2008)

Simeon said:


> Good for you sam h! Get stuck in the happy groove. Bobby (Somethingorother) years ago sang _Don't Worry - Be Happy._ Perhaps a soppy song but it got the jist of life.


 
God that brings me back. I had a crush on a boy on my school bus and that song was constantly playing on the bus radio so I always associate it with that period.


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## Cahir (28 May 2008)

Social Life - 8
Family/Relationship/Friends - 9
Work - 2 or 3
Money - 7
Health - 9

I'm not sure what the overall number would be.  I'm in work now so I'm about a 3 but this evening I'll be a 7 and Friday evening I'll be a 9.


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## my2leftfeet (28 May 2008)

Social Life - 7 [young kids ... would like to be out a bit more]

Family/Relationship/Friends - 9 [good marriage, young kids, 4 grandparents, good pals]

Work - 7 [see this going down probably to a 5 with current economic climate]

Money - 7 [would love more but not many wouldn't]

Health - 7 [hopefully this goes up to about 8.5 next week on summer hols]


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## danaforever (28 May 2008)

overall I am an 8, it's a life choice, you choose to be in a good or bad mood when you wake up in the morning.


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## Purple (28 May 2008)

Vanilla said:


> God that brings me back. I had a crush on a boy on my school bus and that song was constantly playing on the bus radio so I always associate it with that period.



I didn't know you drove a school bus


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## ClubMan (28 May 2008)

Lauren said:


> *Here's a review of a book I discovered recently. Found it very interesting. See what you think.*​



It looks more like a brief synopsis than a review. I guess one could find reviews on _Amazon _etc.​


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## sam h (28 May 2008)

> "Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."


Ah....but dignity & depression are different thing. I think I managed to be a very dignified depressive

Every self-help or inspirational book runs along the same line - "if I can do it, so can you".  but the reality is that everyones life, mentality & physiology is different as is how everyone deals with the ups & downs of life.

....I can't get "Don't worry, be happy" out of my head...so I'm averaging a 9 at the moment!!


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## Betsy Og (28 May 2008)

I'd say, overall, about 7.5

Sure there are down days but family life is great, I dont miss social life much (have v. little at mo), job is pretty good, money isnt a major or imminent worry, health of me & family is good, so nothing of major substance to complain about & you gotta be happy with that.

I think avoiding/minimising jelously/keeping up with the Jones is a good start - be happy in your own skin. Like the sunscreen song said, "the race is long, and in the end its only with yourself".

Also, if you've ever had dark days (had some, those around me had more), you really appreciate better times, you can see that things are good even if "objectively" (i.e. from other people looking at your situation) you are just pottering along like everyone else.


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## Caveat (28 May 2008)

Betsy Og said:


> I think avoiding/minimising jelously/keeping up with the Jones is a good start - *be happy in your own skin*.


 
I agree.  I think this is important - too many people lead lives of quiet desperation stemming from unrealistic, unfullfilled ambition.  Ambition is good, but it's OK to be average too.


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## Ron Burgundy (28 May 2008)

danaforever said:


> overall I am an 8, it's a life choice, *you choose to be in a good or bad mood when you wake up in the morning*.


 
not always, live with depression and the choice can be out of your hands.

But you must try and make the best of what life deals you.


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## truthseeker (28 May 2008)

Jack The Lad said:


> It's an interesting point. An Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who was unlucky enough to have been condemned to the concentration camps in WW 2, but lucky enough to survive, wrote a book about the very concept of that choice you mention, based on his experiences there, and his observations of those who survived. The book is "Man's Search For Meaning" and it is well worth reading; dark, but elevating and remarkable. It was voted one of America's ten most influential books by the US Library of Congress.
> 
> He went on to become Chief of Neurology in the Policlinic Hospital in Vienna, and used his theories to develop a succesful technique for treating patients who were suffering a variety of neurosis, by helping them to find the real purpose in their lives.
> 
> ...


 
Fantastic book. Ever read The Diving Bell and the Butterfly?


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## Jack The Lad (28 May 2008)

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, Jean-Dominique Bauby - yes! Quite incredible, really an extraordinary testament to human spirit, especially when you realise it was written by a man who could only commmunicate by blinking his eyelid! They've made a film of it, but never got to see it.


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## truthseeker (28 May 2008)

Oh I never saw the film either - I see in Amazon Victor Frankl has other works - read anything else by him?

Just on the subject of concentration camps I really enjoyed The Boy in Striped Pajamas recently too.


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## sam h (28 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Just on the subject of concentration camps I really enjoyed *The Boy in Striped Pajamas* recently too.


 
 It really is an amazing book...thanks for the other recommendations.  Trip to the library in order!


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## truthseeker (28 May 2008)

sam h said:


> It really is an amazing book...thanks for the other recommendations. Trip to the library in order!


 
Try 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime' too - great stuff!


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## Betsy Og (28 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Try 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime' too - great stuff!


 

Was that ".... Dog in the Nightdress" - a Ross O'Carroll Kelly publication - good fun but not profound nor life affirming !!!!


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## truthseeker (28 May 2008)

Betsy Og said:


> Was that ".... Dog in the Nightdress" - a Ross O'Carroll Kelly publication - good fun but not profound nor life affirming !!!!


 
Nope - title is as I typed it - cant remember the author offhand.


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## Upstihaggity (28 May 2008)

Ross o Carroll Kelly did a book basically taking the mickey out of the original book title - 'Curious incident of the dog in the nighttime' - have to agree its a good read.


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## Jack The Lad (28 May 2008)

I haven't read Frankl's other work at all, but some day I hope. The Will To Meaning is supposed to be challenging, but good for an explanation of his theories and practice.


Oh sure, why not! Here are some other books worth reading.


*Feeling Good* - David D. Burns (Recipient AE Bennett Award for research on brain chemistry, Prof Psychiatry & Behavioural Sciences Stanford School of Medicine)


*Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience* - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Chairman Psychology Dept University Chicago and Fellow of American Academy of Arts & Sciences)


*The Origin Of Everyday Moods* - Robert E. Thayer (Prof Psychology, California State University)


*Peace Is Every Step*
and
*Anger: Buddhist Wisdom for Cooling the Flames **-* Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnamese Zen Monk, exiled, living in France, nominated for Nobel Peace Prize)


*Markings - *Dag Hammarskjóld (Former Head Swedish National Bank, Former Secretary-General United Nations, Nobel Peace Prize posthumously)... for those of you planning to make headlines!


Almost forgot one of the greats...*The Farther Reaches Of Human Nature* - Abraham Maslow (died in 1970, President of the American Psychological Association, Fellow with the Laughlin Foundation). If you liked the the film "Groundhog Day", you'll love Maslow.


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## DrMoriarty (28 May 2008)

I reckon I'm about a 5. Is that halfway up or halfway down the scale?


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## ClubMan (28 May 2008)

I suppose it's a bad time to ask people what _Sam Beckett _or _Franz Kafka _books they've read?


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## DrMoriarty (28 May 2008)

That would be quite absurd.


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## Jack The Lad (29 May 2008)

*Happy Days...?*



ClubMan said:


> I suppose it's a bad time to ask people what _Sam Beckett _or _Franz Kafka _books they've read?


 

"How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones."


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## Carpenter (29 May 2008)

ClubMan said:


> I suppose it's a bad time to ask people what _Sam Beckett _or _Franz Kafka _books they've read?



I've read "Waiting for Godot" and "The Metamorphosis", might explain why I'm at 5.5.


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## DavyJones (19 Jun 2008)

This morning I'm def a 10, my beautiful wife gave birth to a healthly 10lb baby boy at 02.39. I can't keep this  off my face. This is what living is all about.


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## eileen alana (19 Jun 2008)

DavyJones said:


> This morning I'm def a 10, my beautiful wife gave birth to a healthly 10lb baby boy at 02.39. I can't keep this  off my face. This is what living is all about.


 

Congradulations and best wishes go out to you, I felt a 10 after reading your lovely news


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## NicolaM (19 Jun 2008)

Congratulations to both of you!!!!!!

Nicola


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## Bubbly Scot (19 Jun 2008)

Congratulations, DavyJones!

I like this way of doing it.

Social Life - 8
Family/Relationship/Friends - 9
Work - 7
Money - 7
Health - 9

or the more apt (for me)

Monday to Thursday - 7
Friday to Sunday - 9.5

Life's what you make it, definatly.


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## Cyrstal (19 Jun 2008)

Congratulations DavyJones!!!

I'm definitely an 8/9.  Am very happy with my life, lovely family, good health, great job(most of the time)!


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## messyleo (19 Jun 2008)

Are minus numbers allowed??? *sigh*

ok ok, I'll go for a 4


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## S.L.F (19 Jun 2008)

Congrats Davey Jones,
if it's your first you are in for a roller coaster ride.

I'm generally reasonably happy 7-8.


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## Sue Ellen (19 Jun 2008)

DavyJones said:


> This morning I'm def a 10, my beautiful wife gave birth to a healthly 10lb baby boy at 02.39. I can't keep this  off my face. This is what living is all about.



Congrats. That's a big baby  so extra large bouquet of flowers in order.


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## cole (19 Jun 2008)

Congrats Davy Jones!

I'm around a 9 most of the time. Great family, a few great friends and a job I love.

This is a great read, essentially about how your attitude to life affects your life. (Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it!)


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## Sn@kebite (19 Jun 2008)

6-7


			
				cole said:
			
		

> This is a great read, essentially about how your attitude to life affects your life. (Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it!)


Interesting, thanks.


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## LouisLaLoope (20 Jun 2008)

And on a similar note...


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## cole (20 Jun 2008)

Great site, thanks.


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## z106 (20 Jun 2008)

5.5 - 6


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## addob (20 Jun 2008)

I'm on holidays in 30 minutes, my scale is slowly rising, right now it's an 8!

ad


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