# Selling the family home - what next?



## rainbows end (10 Aug 2019)

Age: 49
Spouse’s/Partner's age: 51 (separated & living apart)

Annual gross income from employment or profession: 62,000
Annual gross income of spouse: 62,000 (ex husband)

Monthly take-home pay 3,200

Type of employment: e.g. Civil Servant, self-employed - Public Sector

In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn, or
(b) saving?
Spending

Rough estimate of value of home  - 350,000
Amount outstanding on your mortgage: 180,000
What interest rate are you paying? 3.2%

Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc  - Car 429 pm, Credit Union 280 pm 

Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? NA
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? NA

Savings and investments:None

Do you have a pension scheme?  - Public Sector Pension (12 years service for me), 40 years service  for ex - he can claim at 60yrs  in 9 years time.

Do you own any investment or other property? No

Ages of children: 23 & 16

Life insurance: Basic - Mortgage covered in the event of death of either of us.


What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?
Myself and ex separated 6 years ago. We have no separation agreement etc. He is not living in the family home and renting a room elsewhere. He is paying the mortgage on the family home of about 1,300 pm - on 4 bed detached. I pay for everything else. He does not pay maintenance. The eldest is working abroad now after graduating last year and visits home a few weeks of the year. Only myself and 16 year old at home. We both are stuck financially and each want to move on to buy our own spaces. Is it possible to arrange the purchase of 2 small properties so we can all move on from this scenario.I can't maintain the house and am forever overdrawn. He also is stretched to cover the mortgage and can't rent a room forever. I am trying to avoid costly courtroom drama as long as possible. Any advice on how to take the next step towards 2 small properties.


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## noproblem (10 Aug 2019)

Are you officially separated for tax returns, etc?


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## rainbows end (10 Aug 2019)

Yes we are separetly assessed and I receive the one parent family credit.


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## Feemar5 (10 Aug 2019)

Your interest rate seems high -  would it be possible to talk to your current mortgage provider and see if they would do a deal - release the current one and give you two separate smaller mortgages on two properties, as you seem to be up to date with repayments.   Your salaries seem o.k. but age may be a factor.   If you could sell the house you would have approx 80K each as a deposit but if you live in Dublin property is expensive - maybe an apartment?     The other question is you say you are overdrawn - can you afford to pay a mortgage.


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## rainbows end (11 Aug 2019)

Thanks, Yes I think the mortgage company might do that and it sounds ok. I am worried about going to the market with 80k. I need to recreate a 'family home' for the children and don't think an apartment would work for us. I am nervous about renting in the long term. But for the ex it would be great for him & he would be delighted. The children don't visit him etc so I am the main provider for them for everything.... animals included. Do you think I should pursue maintenance for the younger one (16 yrs) in this case as he won't be paying the mortgage any longer? Or should I also argue that as the children are provided for by me alone that I should aim for a greater proportion of the proceeds of the sale. Property prices are high here too. 250 - 280 would get a decent semi maybe. But that means a new mortgage for me - and yes I'm nearly 50 so that will be a negative. There is also his pension. As mine is less. I feel his pension is an asset also that needs attention. I had 5 years pension during our time together and he had 30 years for his. Yes there is a question of affording a new mortgage and providing for them in every way on 62,000. The youngest will need 3rd level in only 2 years. Im finding it really hard going. Outgoings are mostly diesel, car, credit union, food, internet. Nothing 'extra' really but could be tightened up.


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## cremeegg (11 Aug 2019)

If you want to succeed with applying for a new mortgage you need a budgeting overhaul first.

With €62k income plus children allowance plus one parent family credit, and no mortgage. You are in a good position to do this. 

The car loan and the CU loan are taking over €700 pm. That is the repayment on well over €100k mortgage. They must go as a first step.


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## rainbows end (11 Aug 2019)

I just entered new 5yr credit for car which I need for work as I do a lot of mileage. The credit union loan was for daughters university expenses. It will take 5 years to clear either of them. Do you think it Is worth it to remortgage to get rid of them?


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## DeeKie (12 Aug 2019)

Would you consider renting a room in the house or taking in a foreign language child for a bit for extra income?


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## rainbows end (12 Aug 2019)

It would work if I was nearer a town and facilities. I live in a rural area. Foreign language students would be few in these parts and need a bit of input.  Renting a room would need a spend as there is only one working shower, brokem immersion, no TV channels, poor wifi and no public transport etc. I'd be a bit cautious about the youngest being in the house with a stranger when Im working too. Cant see either being viable at the mo  
There has to be a way to make a plan to bridge the gap... I really feel stuck. Family court is such a waste of money when solutions should be out there. Does anyone know if there is help from the state in securing mortgage in this kind of situation?


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## elcato (12 Aug 2019)

Do you get a mileage allowance for work if you need the car ?


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## DeeKie (13 Aug 2019)

Does university daughter have a grant? Part time job?


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## Bronte (14 Aug 2019)

rainbows end said:


> Thanks, Yes I think the mortgage company might do that and it sounds ok. I am worried about going to the market with 80k. I need to recreate a 'family home' for the children and don't think an apartment would work for us. I am nervous about renting in the long term. But for the ex it would be great for him & he would be delighted. The children don't visit him etc so I am the main provider for them for everything.... animals included. Do you think I should pursue maintenance for the younger one (16 yrs) in this case as he won't be paying the mortgage any longer? Or should I also argue that as the children are provided for by me alone that I should aim for a greater proportion of the proceeds of the sale. Property prices are high here too. 250 - 280 would get a decent semi maybe. But that means a new mortgage for me - and yes I'm nearly 50 so that will be a negative. There is also his pension. As mine is less. I feel his pension is an asset also that needs attention. I had 5 years pension during our time together and he had 30 years for his. Yes there is a question of affording a new mortgage and providing for them in every way on 62,000. The youngest will need 3rd level in only 2 years. Im finding it really hard going. Outgoings are mostly diesel, car, credit union, food, internet. Nothing 'extra' really but could be tightened up.



When you say 'children' one of your children will never be living with you again surely.  What furture spending do you need to provide to this working adult? I also don't understand why that working 23 year old isn't paying off the loan taken out to pay for his/her third level.  

Is it possible to split your house into two separate dwellings.


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## rainbows end (14 Aug 2019)

Thanks for the replies. it helps to rattle the thinkiing. I get 46c a mile. The university daughter is graduated & now moving abroad next week but will return 8-10 weeks a year. To be fair she pays her own expenses. id just like to have a 'hone space' for her to return to until she is set up in the next few years - she is 23 & has no hope of getting her own place just yet. Her college expenses were split 3 ways between her, her father & me. I am happy with that. She was turned down for the SUSI grant. 
Thank you, I like the idea of splitting the house into 2 and sell one half. It would take some money (20,000?) to do it but worth thinking about.


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## Leo (15 Aug 2019)

rainbows end said:


> I like the idea of splitting the house into 2 and sell one half. It would take some money (20,000?) to do it but worth thinking about.



It may actually cost a lot more as all services and utilities would need to be fully separated including water, drainage, electricity and telecoms supplies and electrical and heating systems within. The second unit would need a new heating system and building regs regarding high energy efficiency may apply. There are also requirements about entrances and remaining garden space that need to be met, and depending on the development plan in affect in that area, the planners may not even consider it, so take professional advice before spending any serious money on this idea.


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## Bronte (15 Aug 2019)

I’m guessing it’s a teacher job or some such in the Middle East. But she must make her own way in life now as she is able to earn her own living. I say this because she has to step up to the plate given your own financial circumstances. So it is she, not you, should pay the loan to the credit union. Why ever not?


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## Bronte (15 Aug 2019)

Why wouldn’t the husband live in the halved house. Then he’s now no rent to pay. Utilities could then be split too, another saving.

What are your spending your income on if you pay no mortgage and are paying 700 out of income of 3200. What happen the 2500 each month?

Now that we’ve established it can be spit why not rent it out, you can get 14k rent tax free. If you do not want your ex there.

Seems to me it’s a family reality check here is needed and you could all, ex included, be quite easily much better off.

It is untrue to state the ex is not paying maintenance. He’s paying the mortgage. Just because it’s the mortgage doesn’t mean it’s not maintenance, you’ve just chosen to do thing financially that way.


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## Bronte (16 Aug 2019)

Leo said:


> It may actually cost a lot more as all services and utilities would need to be fully separated including water, drainage, electricity and telecoms supplies and electrical and heating systems within. The second unit would need a new heating system and building regs regarding high energy efficiency may apply. There are also requirements about entrances and remaining garden space that need to be met, and depending on the development plan in affect in that area, the planners may not even consider it, so take professional advice before spending any serious money on this idea.


Much better instead of all that grief to superficially split the house for the ex or renting. Then all you’d need is some kind of kitchenette, separate entrance door, maybe a shower room without any serious work like the heating and plumbing. 

I'm not sure that putting in a kitchenette, new shower room and new entrance door require planning, you being the expert might advise the OP.


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## Leo (16 Aug 2019)

Bronte said:


> I'm not sure that putting in a kitchenette, new shower room and new entrance door require planning, you being the expert might advise the OP.



I already did earlier in the thread. The Exempted Development legislation is pretty straightforward. A cursory read makes it clear a new entrance does indeed require planning permission.


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## Bronte (16 Aug 2019)

Leo said:


> I already did earlier in the thread. The Exempted Development legislation is pretty straightforward. A cursory read makes it clear a new entrance does indeed require planning permission.


I could well imagine the local council serving the OP with a legal writ if they discover she puts another door out the back of the house.  Probably happens very regularly.  Ideally she needs to hire an architect and engineer to guide her through the planning hoops.


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## DeeKie (17 Aug 2019)

Could you do some Airbnb? Especially when the children are away?


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