# Best way to remove a difficult rent-a-room lodger



## Rois (16 Jul 2009)

I've had a lodger living in my house since last September - rent-a-room scheme. I took up references from his previous landlord and employer prior to his moving in.

Initially he had a full-time job which he hated. In January he started a new 3-day week job. A few weeks ago he lost that job - I think he was fired. 

He's not looking for another job, just sleeps half or most of the day, and spends the rest of the time drinking, smoking and watching tv. He complains if I make any noise which disturbs his sleep (even in the afternoon)! or if the dogs are barking. 

He pays his rent on time, but contributes nothing else around the house insofar as he doesn't clean up after himself or do any household chores. 

He's very moody and loses his rag very easily. I've seen him bash his head off the wall and lose his temper quite a lot. He has no friends and no contact with any of his family whatsoever. 

I want to remove him as quickly and as safely as possible (i.e. I will change the locks once he's gone). I am quite scared of him at this stage. 

I expect I have to give him a month's notice or is there any other path I could go down to get him to leave sooner?


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## Lex Foutish (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Not sure what the situation is legally, Rois, but if I were in your situation, I'd try to get him out asap. He sounds to me like he might be suffering from depression or some other condition. 

I feel very sorry for him but, while he's there with you, you won't have peace of mind or real "ownership" of your house.


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## fogart (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Maybe start bringing over some male friends to the house for more moral support.Perhaps you could say that you will be looking to rent the whole house out or that you are selling the house and that you are giving him one month's notice.Go as far as bringing in "estate agent".?


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## Rois (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

I am actually planning to sell the house and he's aware of that but I hadn't given him any notice as it may take months to sell.  Maybe time to step it up a gear ...


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## dewdrop (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

as far as  know under rent a room you have no statutory rights re tenure other than a person should be given "reasonable notice" to leave. Perhaps a look at posts under rent a room may give you some ideas. I suspect many people usually tell a little white lie like "i need the room for a relative"


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## pinkyBear (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Hi there,
was in a simular situation as yourself a few years ago, the main thing is get him out with as little hassle as possible. So I did the decent thing and lied!
I basically told the lodger I had family moving back to Ireland for good and they needed a place to stay for a while until they found a place. I gave this person 6 weeks to leave and I paid a deposit. We never heard from the lodger again..


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## Setanta12 (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of this too twice as a lodger.

Unfortunately, you have to take the bull by the horns and do it - but use some excuse like, your brother/sister/old friend coming home from Australia and needs a place to stay, or your folks are planning on selling the apartment (which really wasn't yours -  you were just renting it from them) and they want it free to sell.

I never fell out with my landlords - this is life, these things happen but I advise doing it sooner rather than later for pace fo mind, no-one likes living with someone who doesn't like living with them.


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## Paulone (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

In addition to all the advice above - all completely reasonable because it just hasn't worked out as a house share, and such a non-functioning arrangement is not acceptable to anyone - stick to your guns about dates and don't get soft if he starts to ask for more time or doesn't seem to be doing much about finding a new place.

He might be unhappy there too (sounds like he isn't that happy generally) so in many ways, this could be the push he needs.

Many years ago I was asked to leave a houseshare - tho I was cleaning up after myself - and it was a blessed relief as we just didn't get on. My landlord got a bit funny about it and tried to deduct part of the deposit for 'wear on the stair carpet and living room couch', and it got quite tense as the debate continued about acceptable usage of the house.

Would suggest in your situation that you don't throw obstacles like that in your path even if you feel he should be made pay for a cleanup.


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## Guest116 (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

you could also just say you dont want to rent out rooms anymore and want the house to yourself. Just get him out.

If you can do it, just say "its not working out" and give him 4 weeks notice or whatever.


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## Hillsalt (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

If you are really desperate to get him out, tell him your sister/brother needs the room ASAP. Refund him his deposit and the  last rent  that he paid...which should be attractive to a someone on the dole. 

You might be out of pocket but you will get peace of mind.


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## AgathaC (16 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Please think of your own personal safety and get him out asap. Tell a 'white' lie as other posters have suggested. He may be harmless but some of the behaviour you have witnessed would worry me if I were in your situation. Very best of luck.


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## Rois (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Many thanks for all your sound advice.  I have decided to give him 1 months notice from today (accompanied by a couple of little white lies).

I don't expect he will be too pleased but that is nothing new.  He needs to sort his life out and this may be the 'push' he needs for his own good.  I will return his full deposit when he leaves and change the locks.


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## Romulan (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Have you a friend/relative that can come and stay closer to the end day?

Even if this means them sleeping on a couch, it may help the process and make you feel safer.


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## Rois (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Yes I can get someone to stay for a while if I feel it's necessary - my nephew is always looking for somewhere to sleep!


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## Swallows (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

Hi, you need to tell this person the truth. When you took him in he had a job, now he doesn't. This is a lesson for anyone renting a room in their house to make it a condition of the tenancy that they have to have a job. You cannot have someone home all day using your services and polluting the house with cigarette smoke.


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## Setanta12 (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

I disagree - his problems are his problems.

A few white lies and get rid quickly.


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## Rois (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

He would be very angry if I were to tell him the truth and that's what I don't want to happen.  However, I would definitely make it a condition of any future tenancy that the person needs to be employed.

I've done everything I can to get him work, typed his CV, covering letters.  Constantly checking job websites for him but he's doing nothing to help himself.  I told him he need to buy the local paper for jobs but his answer is that he's a "realist and knows there are no jobs out there"! 

Meanwhile, he's upset neighbours and their children by being rude and shouting at them because sometimes their balls come in my garden.  

He always has the heating on as he "suffers from arthritis"?  (His bills are included in the rent so my gas bill is enormous).  

Enough said, he has to go.  BTW he's still in bed now so I haven't even been able to give him his notice yet today, or put on the washing machine etc etc in case I disturb his sleep.


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## Guest116 (17 Jul 2009)

Rois said:


> He always has the heating on as he "suffers from arthritis"? (His bills are included in the rent so my gas bill is enormous).
> .


 
You should have changed that as soon as you saw the bills were over the top. And you wont turn on the wasking machine in case you wake him?

You need to be a way more authoritative. You are moulding your homelife around a lodger and his ways. You are getting walked all over, this is your house!

If you get another lodger you dont need to worry about how the person is going to react to things you do or say. You have no control over that.


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## fogart (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*

cough

well?


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## Yoltan (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*



Swallows said:


> Hi, you need to tell this person the truth. When you took him in he had a job, now he doesn't. This is a lesson for anyone renting a room in their house to make it a condition of the tenancy that they have to have a job. You cannot have someone home all day using your services and polluting the house with cigarette smoke.


 
Have to disagree 100% with this advice. The op has already clearly stated that she is scared of him and quite frankly, she has every right to be. He may turn out to be quite harmless, who knows? But from the sounds of it, she owes his nothing. There is just no way I would put up with this in my home. I think get him out as quickly and as problem free as possible even if it means lying through your teeth! I reckon the longer this goes on the more difficult it will become.


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## Hillsalt (17 Jul 2009)

*Re: Best way to remove a difficult lodger*



Rois said:


> Yes I can get someone to stay for a while if I feel it's necessary - my nephew is always looking for somewhere to sleep!



Good call.


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## Firehead (19 Jul 2009)

Definately don't tell him the truth, that could totally drive him over the edge if he's that bad that he's shouting at the neighbours etc.  Get your nephew in for a few nights before the lodger is due to move out and have your white lies ready maybe along the lines that you are going to sell the house or moving back home, something like that anyway.  He sounds like a nut case and not someone you want to have around longterm.


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## Rois (19 Jul 2009)

He's on 4 weeks notice as of today, used a few white lies, but he's going to give me a hard time I reckon.  

He's probably also going to expect me to find him somewhere else to live!


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## Sue Ellen (19 Jul 2009)

Rois said:


> He's on 4 weeks notice as of today, used a few white lies, but he's going to give me a hard time I reckon.
> 
> He's probably also going to expect me to find him somewhere else to live!



Nephew and mates move in very quickly, they make a lot of noise during the day and generally take over the house.  As you're doing a relative a favour there's nothing you can do about it.


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## AgathaC (19 Jul 2009)

Sue Ellen said:


> Nephew and mates move in very quickly, they make a lot of noise during the day and generally take over the house. As you're doing a relative a favour there's nothing you can do about it.


+1. Whatever reason you have given-make sure that you follow through with it. Distance yourself from any attempts on his part to get you to help him to find another place. Very best of luck.


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## Rois (19 Jul 2009)

Thanks all.  As you can see from my post at 03.45 am this morning, he fell in drunk about 3.30 am and woke me up.  I got up once he'd gone to bed and he'd left all the lights on downstairs and another mess for me to clean up.

He's not talking to me today, left in a huff when he eventually surfaced this afternoon - probably gone to the pub again.

The sooner he's gone the better.  He told me he's going to move to Antwerp!!


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## chlipps (20 Jul 2009)

safer not to tell him the truth.. coax him out with the refund of deposit and possibly the current months rent and maybe you get him out faster than the 4 weeks.

at this stage have you given him his notice?


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## Rois (20 Jul 2009)

Yes I've given him 4 weeks notice. 

He told me he was looking actually looking at room to rent notices in local shops today and he's seems quite ok today.


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## Black Sheep (25 Jul 2009)

Perhaps it's not such a bad idea to help him to find a place, there are plenty of them out there. Then he can never say to you that there are no places available, and you are sure he is genuinely looking


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## Rois (25 Jul 2009)

Yes I have already offered to check daft.ie for him, but he made some excuse.

He's actually been on his best behaviour ever since he got his notice - he's cleaning as I write this - unbelieveable.  

I have checked daft myself and there are tons of places to rent so he's not going to have a problem.


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## Complainer (1 Aug 2009)

Black Sheep said:


> Perhaps it's not such a bad idea to help him to find a place,


Actually, I think this is a terrible idea. If you start helping out, it suddenly becomes your problem to fix his problem. Every minor fault in prospective properties become blocking problems. 


He has to solve this problem himself.


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