# Any experts on flirtation signals/body language etc?



## Caveat (3 Sep 2009)

OK, bit of a strange one.

There are 3 women I regularly have contact with - know them all pretty well at this stage (between 5 and 15 years) and we have good relationships.

I've been noticing though that they frequently display very similar body language behaviour - namely, pulling their clothing away from around their necks to reveal more neck/shoulder and biting on their bottom lips. 

I'm a little sceptical about this kind of thing and I completely accept that sometimes it is just discomfort/nervousness or etc etc but AFAIK these are also classic flirtation signals?! 

What do people think about all of this?


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## mf1 (3 Sep 2009)

"What do people think about all of this? "

You need to get out more. 

mf


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## RonanC (3 Sep 2009)

Caveat, i think that us men are programmed to to see signals like that in completly the wrong way and usually we totally miss them too. 

What about women who mess with their hair while talking to you (I get this a lot and it totally confuses me) and I usually end up the colour of your smiley face within no time at all


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## RonanC (3 Sep 2009)

This might help "us"

[broken link removed]


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## mathepac (3 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> ... - namely, pulling their clothing away from around their necks to reveal more neck/shoulder and biting on their bottom lips. ...


Relax, they've just been watching re-runs of Dallas and have caught Sue Ellen-itis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mxA9IhB4K8&feature=related

BTW Sue Ellen in this clip displays a deadly right cross so let's be careful out there


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## z104 (3 Sep 2009)

You didn't start wearing a wedding band lately by any chance did you?


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## Pique318 (3 Sep 2009)

Go on Cav, ya good thing ya ! 

3 women indeed! Is it advice you're after, or are you here to gloat ??!!


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## truthseeker (3 Sep 2009)

Pique318 said:


> Go on Cav, ya good thing ya !
> 
> 3 women indeed! Is it advice you're after, or are you here to gloat ??!!


 
LOL!!!!

Caveat, seriously now, men might wait between 5 and 15 years, but if any of these chicks had the hots for you, you'd know by now


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## Caveat (3 Sep 2009)

They are all married BTW, as am I.

And I'm a gentleman too.


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## Slash (3 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> (between 5 and 15 years)



Whatever about the 15 year old, the 5 year old is much too young for you!!

Seriously, though, stay away from them. They obviouly want to trap you into leaving your wife and marrying you. Then they'll take all your money and constantly moan about the fact that you don't understand them. You'll end up alone, broke, and miserable. Go home to your wife.


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## Guest128 (3 Sep 2009)

Slash said:


> Go home to your wife.



Why is the wife always "at home", kinda makes her sound like the boring option....


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## Girlf (3 Sep 2009)

My formal training is in flirtology - so yes I am an expert

Pulling their clothes from their neck?
Possible reasons: 
- too hot? (temperature wise..)
- Allergic to the deteregent they use?
- Allergic to you?
- Hives/rash?
- Clothes too tight?

Biting of the lip:
- Afraid, very afraid


TBH if I was *talking* to a guy I fancy I wouldn't start gnawing at my lip or pulling off my clothes....well not usually anyhow.


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## z104 (3 Sep 2009)

Maybe these are Celtic Cougars ?


*Cougar*—a woman over 40[10] who sexually pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior.[11


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## becky (3 Sep 2009)

Very fuunt thread

I mess with my hair all the time - doesn't matter if it's a man or woman.


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## Guest128 (3 Sep 2009)

Yes Becky, but you also spell funny with two 'u's and a 't'


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## Ciaraella (3 Sep 2009)

Just watch out if they're sitting beside you and cross their legs in your direction (leg furthest away from you on top), apparently it's a sexual invitation! i think i may have heard that in the film clueless but i'm pretty sure there's some truth to it!


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## DavyJones (3 Sep 2009)

becky said:


> Very fuunt thread
> 
> I mess with my hair all the time - doesn't matter if it's a man or woman.




I like your style


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## Mpsox (3 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> OK, bit of a strange one.
> 
> There are 3 women I regularly have contact with - know them all pretty well at this stage (between 5 and 15 years) and we have good relationships.
> 
> ...


 
Are you sure this is not wishful thinking/early stage of a mid life crisis?


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## Sue Ellen (3 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> namely, pulling their clothing away from around their necks to reveal more neck/shoulder






Girlf said:


> Pulling their clothes from their neck?
> Possible reasons:
> - too hot? (temperature wise..)



*Relax Cav, its not you, its just da dreaded menopause and hot flushes* 



mathepac said:


> Relax, they've just been watching re-runs of Dallas and have caught Sue Ellen-itis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mxA9IhB4K8&feature=related
> 
> BTW Sue Ellen in this clip displays a deadly right cross so let's be careful out there



*Be warned*


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## RMCF (4 Sep 2009)

My wife constantly gives off to me for biting my lips - I do it a lot - when watching TV, out walking etc etc etc.

If I was in front of you doing this, would you take it that I fancy you?

Think we read too much nonsense or listen to too many TV programmes. I am sure there is absolutely nothing in any of their actions. Men will, of course, always say that it means the women fancy them !!


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## Teatime (4 Sep 2009)

Caveat, the only person that can answer this question is you and the way to answer is to counter-flirt. When these women start flirting you need to start doing some or all of the following (I will let you choose)

1) Lick your lips
2) Grab your crotch
3) Make low grunting sounds
4) Wink menaceingly
5) Hit the deck and do 10 fast push ups

Gauge the reaction to these counter measures and post the results so I can provide more solid advice...

Works for me.
Teatime.


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## Caveat (4 Sep 2009)

RMCF said:


> My wife constantly gives off to me for biting my lips - I do it a lot - when watching TV, out walking etc etc etc.
> 
> If I was in front of you doing this, would you take it that I fancy you?
> 
> Think we read too much nonsense or listen to too many TV programmes. I am sure there is absolutely nothing in any of their actions. Men will, of course, always say that it means the women fancy them !!


 
Of course - but biting the lower lip at one side for one long 'clamp' whilst maintaining eye contact is a bit different! 

I agree with you and RonanC though, it's probably nothing but the problem is that once you notice it you can't un-notice it! 

Re body signals generally though, my 'situation' aside, I certainly don't think it can be dismissed as nonsense and the preserve of bad TV. It's  taken totally seriously, academically/psychologically as far as I know?

I see glaring examples all day, every day and it reveals an incredible amount about people.  As long as you realise that sometimes an armfold is just an armfold etc etc and don't get too carried away.

I'll try teatime's advice maybe.


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## Betsy Og (4 Sep 2009)

yerrah, flirt away but keep your trousers on !!

As long as you dont intend progressing matters does it really matter whether they are flirting or not?, best to assume they are (sure we could all use the ego boost) but just avoid quiet enclosed spaces where you could find yourself alone with these people, or avoid when either of ye are fairly drunk (you might be tempted to suss them out, even if no intentions on either part). 

On a related note, is there ever a time to compliment a woman (say a co-worker, or any woman other than your partner for that matter) that she's good looking? My conclusion is probably not, definitely not re a co-worker.

I recall complimenting a female co-worker (v good looking), and bearing in mind I'm a bloke, and married. The usual, in the course of a big drinking session, it wasnt a seedy "come on" style compliment, and I prefaced it by asking could she take a compliment/would she sue me, but she didnt seem to get any kick out of it (which was the intention), more of a "what do you want me to say" - on reflection she's a reserved sort.

Anyway, that was a few years back, and I've concluded that there's practically no point in complimenting a woman, and definitely not a co-worker, too much risk.


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## Caveat (4 Sep 2009)

I have to say I compliment women all the time.  

Either because it's a genuine compliment or because I feel like they need a compliment.  Usually along the lines of "You're looking great" " Have you lost weight?" " That dress/top etc really suits you" etc.

All a bit metrosexual now that I think of it. 

It would be less often that I would blatantly compliment a woman on her general attractiveness  but I occasionally do.  I usually try to slip it in matter of factly - but I wouldn't say it unless there was some relevance and unless it was true.


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## Slash (4 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> .... I usually try to slip it in matter of factly.....



Most women like a bit of foreplay before you get to that stage!!



What's Australian foreplay?

"Brace yourself, Sheila!"


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## woodbine (4 Sep 2009)

Slash said:


> Most women like a bit of foreplay before you get to that stage!!


 
you took the words out of my mouth. 

Anyway back to Caveat's query.. Caveat, i usually find that i am much more aware of sexual signals when i haven't had sex for a few days. Are you in need, perhaps?


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## Teatime (4 Sep 2009)

woodbine said:


> you took the words out of my mouth.
> 
> Anyway back to Caveat's query.. Caveat, i usually find that i am much more aware of sexual signals when i haven't had sex for a few days. Are you in need, perhaps?


 
True true. Yes Caveat, you sound like a loaded gun at the moment...


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## Sue Ellen (4 Sep 2009)

Teatime said:


> Caveat, the only person that can answer this question is you and the way to answer is to counter-flirt. When these women start flirting you need to start doing some or all of the following (I will let you choose)
> 
> 1) Lick your lips
> 2) Grab your crotch
> ...



Video please.


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## mathepac (4 Sep 2009)

Sue Ellen said:


> Video please.


In the flesh - http://www.metacafe.com/watch/28253/the_malaysian_michael_jackson/


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## Guest128 (4 Sep 2009)

Teatime said:


> True true. Yes Caveat, you sound like a loaded gun at the moment...



Thats how people get hurt!


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## Firefly (4 Sep 2009)

Caveat said:


> And I'm a gentleman too.


 
So why are you telling


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## Welfarite (4 Sep 2009)

becky said:


> I mess with my hair all the time - doesn't matter if it's a man or woman.


 

so what message are you giving the man or woman that has your hair? Or do you have male and female hairs?


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## becky (4 Sep 2009)

Welfarite said:


> so what message are you giving the man or woman that has your hair? Or do you have male and female hairs?


 
You've lost me.


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## Kine (4 Sep 2009)

CAv, spank an ass and see what reaction you get....will tell you quick enough


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## MOB (4 Sep 2009)

Niallers said:


> typically more than eight years her junior.[11



Why eight?  If a cougar lady snares a man who is only seven years her junior, does she have to hand back her badge?


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## Marion (4 Sep 2009)

Hi Caveat



> Either because it's a genuine compliment or because I feel like they need a compliment. Usually along the lines of "You're looking great" " Have you lost weight?" " That dress/top etc really suits you" etc.


Why do you think people  - male or female feel the need to be complimented by others? 

Many people are very happy in their own skins without having to have it pointed out by others?

I am just curious why you think that they "need" a compliment. 

I always fiddle with my hair. I apologise if I know you and you are confused by this. I really don't mean anything by it. I just find it comforting for myself. 

Marion


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## Caveat (4 Sep 2009)

Marion said:


> Why do you think people  - male or female feel the need to be complimented by others?
> 
> Many people are very happy in their own skins without having to have it pointed out by others?
> 
> I am just curious why you think that they "need" a compliment.



Hi

I'm talking about people I know, not people generally.  By "need" I mean "could do with" i.e. when I know that they are feeling low, going through a bad patch etc.

Do you think that's unusual?



> I always fiddle with my hair. I apologise if I know you and you are confused by this. I really don't mean anything by it. I just find it comforting for myself.



Ah but merely 'fiddling' is one thing - it's all in the way you fiddle apparently.

Mind you, I hadn't even considered the hair fiddling and I don't want to start!


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## Marion (4 Sep 2009)

Hi Caveat

I understand now what you are saying. You are obviously a very perceptive person and apparently in tune to a person's needs.

I don't know if there is a premier type of hair fiddling. I am just an ordinary fiddler. 

Marion


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## DavyJones (4 Sep 2009)

I assume the question that really is being asked is, Why are my friends flirting with me?

We all meet many people of the opposite sex everyday.  not every person you meet will flirt, but you notice when they do, because it's not a thing that usually happens.

It's more than likely a sign of friendship in this case, they feel comfortable in your presence and can relax and be their true selves, I wounldn't read too much into it.


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## Caveat (5 Sep 2009)

Sensible position Davey - I'll adopt it.


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## Betsy Og (7 Sep 2009)

By sheer co-incidence (I presume ), the aforementioned colleague is away away to the FBI (to continue the Hannibal Lecter theme from the binoculars thread).

Shock, heart drop, pit of stomach 'lonely' feeling. On the plus side there's hardly any temptation left...... sorry gals.


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## Caveat (7 Sep 2009)

Betsy Og said:


> the FBI


 
If she didn't have you well sussed before she soon will then!


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