# 2Cows



## ted (20 Feb 2012)

SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.


NAZISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.


SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. *None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.


A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.


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## callybags (21 Feb 2012)

Ah Ted...


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## june (21 Feb 2012)

Ah , no Irish Version??


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## Sue Ellen (21 Feb 2012)

june said:


> Ah, no Irish version??



Exactly what I was thinking.  They're probably gone to the pub


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## ted (21 Feb 2012)

I'd have thought the Royal Bank of Scotland would be typical of Ireland. No?


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## Thirsty (29 Feb 2012)

Originally posted 4 years ago

AN IRISH CORPORATION:

* You have two cows. 
* You're told you have to apply for planning permission for the cowshed.
* A leading Govt. member asks for a lend of one of your cows but has nowhere to keep the milk - this doesn't seem to bother him or strike him as odd in the slightest.
* You make a political donation of thousands of litres of milk.
* You get planning permission and build a enormous cowshed, complete with extension; despite the fact that you only have one cow and not much milk.
* You sell the cowshed and get out of the dairy business just before the manure hits the fan and head for pastures new...


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## mathepac (11 Mar 2012)

AN INTERNET CORPORATION

You have no cows
You like word-plays and puns
You register the domain name http:\\www.tucows.com
You use it to sell software


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## michaelm (27 Jun 2012)

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.


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