# Family home.



## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

Hi everyone,

I was just wondering if anyone can help/advise me on something, Me and my husband are going to separate and I was wondering if I leave the family home (we have one child) do I loose my share in the home? The house is in both our names. If I do leave the house (because he will not) does my husband have to pay towards putting a house over our daughter's head?? Please help I have no idea what to expect when this all starts.  Will i be entitled to affordable housing? I have absolutley no idea what I can do!! Any help/advice will be much much much appreciated!! Thank you.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

going mental said:


> if I leave the family home (we have one child) do I loose my share in the home?


Not as far as I know.

You should get professional advice from a solicitor as soon as possible though.


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## Welfarite (5 Sep 2008)

Start [broken link removed]


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## Welfarite (5 Sep 2008)

Talk to the Family Mediation Service.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

Welfarite said:


> Talk to the Family Mediation Service.


I'd talk to a solicitor first myself.


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## Welfarite (5 Sep 2008)

ClubMan said:


> I'd talk to a solicitor first myself.


 
Well, I'd talk to the Family Mediation Service first myself, in order to ask a wider range of questions, including what happens the family home. it's a matter of opinion and it's free.


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## moneygrower (5 Sep 2008)

Go to a solicitor immediately. They maybe able to convince your husband to leave the house.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

Welfarite said:


> Well, I'd talk to the Family Mediation Service first myself, in order to ask a wider range of questions, including what happens the family home. it's a matter of opinion and it's free.


Family mediation involves both spouses attending. In many or most cases each spouse needs to get their own independent advice. Especially if there are other factors (e.g. duress, abuse etc.) involved (not that this is necessarily the case here). But possibly even when things are otherwise amicable.


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

thanks a million for your replies... I suppose I better find a Solicitors so.. Thanks again.. Much appreciated.


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## mf1 (5 Sep 2008)

moneygrower said:


> Go to a solicitor immediately. They maybe able to convince your husband to leave the house.




How exactly do you think they may be able to do that? Besiege the house? Shout at him through a megaphone? Threaten him with a Barring Order?

mf


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## Bronte (5 Sep 2008)

You should not leave the family home until you have talked to a solicitor.  So what if he won't leave.  If there is no violence/abuse then there is no need to take such a dramatic step until you have proper advice.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

I'm not sure that it matters whether or not they move out at this stage. Maybe a legal eagle can comment?


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

Bronte said:


> You should not leave the family home until you have talked to a solicitor. So what if he won't leave. If there is no violence/abuse then there is no need to take such a dramatic step until you have proper advice.


 

Bronte.. thanks for that.. but i have a little girl to think about and it is really starting to effect her i need to get her out of the situation. Its not fair on her..  I would stay otherwise but my first priority is her.


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## Frasier (5 Sep 2008)

If your husband is continuing to pay the mortgage he is already paying towards putting a roof over your daughters head!!


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

Frasier said:


> If your husband is continuing to pay the mortgage he is already paying towards putting a roof over your daughters head!!


 

And so am I frasier. So what are you saying??? That i should stay in the house with my daughter and let her live through hell?? Have you kids???


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## Bronte (5 Sep 2008)

going mental said:


> Bronte.. thanks for that.. but i have a little girl to think about and it is really starting to effect her i need to get her out of the situation. Its not fair on her.. I would stay otherwise but my first priority is her.


 Go away for the weekend and go to a solicitor on Monday.  If you stay don't row.  A homeless child may be in a far worse situation than a home with two parents arguing.  It's not nice but it's life and it's not all sunshine for kids nor does it have to be.  Also you should remember your husband is just as entitled to the child as you.   If it's just between you and him, maybe you should go away for the weekend on your own - clear the air.  I'm not trying to be harsh but you haven't said what the problem is so it's difficult to give advice.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

going mental said:


> And so am I frasier. So what are you saying??? That i should stay in the house with my daughter and let her live through hell?? Have you kids???


I think he's just answering your question here:


going mental said:


> If I do leave the house (because he will not) does my husband have to pay towards putting a house over our daughter's head??





Frasier said:


> If your husband is continuing to pay the mortgage he is already paying towards putting a roof over your daughters head!!


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## Frasier (5 Sep 2008)

Hell??  You have said nothing to suggest you are living in hell.

If its just that you find the situation difficult, I'm sure your husband is also.


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

Bronte said:


> Go away for the weekend and go to a solicitor on Monday. If you stay don't row. A homeless child may be in a far worse situation than a home with two parents arguing. It's not nice but it's life and it's not all sunshine for kids nor does it have to be. Also you should remember your husband is just as entitled to the child as you. If it's just between you and him, maybe you should go away for the weekend on your own - clear the air. I'm not trying to be harsh but you haven't said what the problem is so it's difficult to give advice.


 

Thanks Bronte.. I know your trying to help. I have my mum's to go to so my daughter will never be homeless. This has been going on now for a number of years. We've done the whole marriage conselling etc. and it has not changed anything. I would never ever ever stop my husband from seeing our daughter no matter what happened between me and him. That would be like punishing my daughter for something that had nothing to do with her. My husband lets say likes the "single" life but wants to be married aswell!!


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

Frasier said:


> Hell?? You have said nothing to suggest you are living in hell.
> 
> If its just that you find the situation difficult, I'm sure your husband is also.


 
I'm sure he does.. I didn't really think i had to go into the personal side of it to get the advise i was looking for.. so sorry maybe i should have gone into more detail.  

Yes.. its hell.. Its continious arguing all the time and more. My husband likes to live the single life but wants to be married also. He comes and goes as he pleases with no consideration for me or his daughter. So really.. there is no relationship i'm just somebody whose there to mind our child, work, and everything else.  So why would anybody want to stay in a relationship when their being treated like that. I may as well be away on my own with my daughter.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

Somebody I know recently consulted with a solicitor in similar circumstances and found them very good. I can send you the details by _PM _if you like.


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## going mental (5 Sep 2008)

ClubMan said:


> Somebody I know recently consulted with a solicitor in similar circumstances and found them very good. I can send you the details by _PM _if you like.


 

Yes please... Thanks clubman.


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## ClubMan (5 Sep 2008)

I'll _PM _it to you so.


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## Frasier (5 Sep 2008)

I realise my comments do not sit well but there are no moral police.  Your relationship did not work out (which is very regrettable especially when a child is involved) but this happens all the time.

Is he is having parties in the house, constantly drunk with unpredictable behavior?  Has he threatened you or your child?  It would not be fair for people to automatically assume that your husband is the devil.

Anyway, I appreciate it that you don't want to discuss the detail on a public discussion forum and I hope it works out for all involved.


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## greenhouse (7 Sep 2008)

Hi. I have seperated from my wife over a year,she never paid one penny to my home(or bills) ever. I had to remortgage and placed her name on it 6 months before we spilt. We have now seperated to which i set her up in a new home with my daughter for the past 11 months .She now wants money to take her name off my house, I am lost as to what she might get, any help?


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## Sue Ellen (7 Sep 2008)

greenhouse said:


> Hi. I have seperated from my wife over a year,she never paid one penny to my home(or bills) ever. I had to remortgage and placed her name on it 6 months before we spilt. We have now seperated to which i set her up in a new home with my daughter for the past 11 months .She now wants money to take her name off my house, I am lost as to what she might get, any help?



IMHO same advice as was given to original poster, it would be best for you to consult a solicitor.


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