# funny work practices



## becky (3 Sep 2010)

Another thread took me back to my first real job.

When I started working in the HSE 19 yrs ago we use to have a sign a book - the boss at the time use to come out at 9.30am and draw a red line under the last name with a ruler. If you signed below the line you had to go straight to her office and account for yourself. I was in that office a lot.

I worked with a girl who ate a fruit of the forest yogurt everyday. When she's get to the end she's hold it upsidedown and start scraping the bottom of the carton for 10 minutes to get it all out. 

To this day I cannot even look at a fruit of the forest yogurt.


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## gipimann (3 Sep 2010)

I remember signing the book and the red line as well (Public Libraries, 30 years ago!).

We had to sign out at lunchtime and sign in again after lunch - whether we left the building or not! In some outlying libraries there wasn't anywhere to go at lunchtime (very few cafés or delis back then!), so we usually spent lunchtime.....er...reading!


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## becky (3 Sep 2010)

Enough to put you off books for life. We didn't have to sign out at lunch or evenings, think my boss just liked bringing people into the office.


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## liaconn (6 Sep 2010)

I remember signing the book as well and you would have a red x put beside your name if you were late. Every so often Personnel would collect the books to see how many Xs each person had.

Also, if you were sick you had to write a note and bring it in with you when you were well again. I was told I was to write  the note as 'if you were writing  it from your sick bed' so it had to start  'I am unable to attend work today due to .....'.


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## Purple (6 Sep 2010)

liaconn said:


> I remember signing the book as well and you would have a red x put beside your name if you were late. Every so often Personnel would collect the books to see how many Xs each person had.
> 
> Also, if you were sick you had to write a note and bring it in with you when you were well again. I was told I was to write  the note as 'if you were writing  it from your sick bed' so it had to start  'I am unable to attend work today due to .....'.



If we had that here we'd all be putting red X's beside other people's names for the fun of it.


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## VOR (6 Sep 2010)

Not so much a work practice as a work game. I worked in a call centre many years ago and we used to take turns mentioning animals on a call. We would type out a list of animals at the beginning of the week and play telephone bingo. The winner got a few free pints on Friday evening. Great fun. 
"Sir, I'm sorry but our rules are like a zebra; black and white"
"I'm sorry about the delay. Some days I'd swear I'd have more chance of finding a polar bear in the jungle than a file on this system"
"I can't see him at his desk at the moment but I suppose I would need a giraffe's neck to see over the partitions in here"


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## Mpsox (6 Sep 2010)

I'm not sure what is wrong with signing in and out of work, if only for health and safety reasons as much as everything else

Having said that, I remember once visiting a call centre in England, every staff member had an egg timer alarm clock on their desk, if they went on a toilet break or went to tea, they had to set the timer before they left and be back before it went off.


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## Purple (6 Sep 2010)

VOR said:


> Not so much a work practice as a work game. I worked in a call centre many years ago and we used to take turns mentioning animals on a call. We would type out a list of animals at the beginning of the week and play telephone bingo. The winner got a few free pints on Friday evening. Great fun.
> "Sir, I'm sorry but our rules are like a zebra; black and white"
> "I'm sorry about the delay. Some days I'd swear I'd have more chance of finding a polar bear in the jungle than a file on this system"
> "I can't see him at his desk at the moment but I suppose I would need a giraffe's neck to see over the partitions in here"



We used to do something like that when giving presentations or during meetings with customers. We’d pick a corny phrase and the person who used it most won.


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## TarfHead (6 Sep 2010)

In my first job, I worked in a bank branch in a provincial town. When speaking to the branch manager, I had to address him as 'Manager'. Not 'Joe' or 'Mr. Bloggs', but Manager. Even if I bumped into him outside of working hours, it was still 'Manager'.

That was then


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## PaddyW (6 Sep 2010)

VOR said:


> Not so much a work practice as a work game. I worked in a call centre many years ago and we used to take turns mentioning animals on a call. We would type out a list of animals at the beginning of the week and play telephone bingo. The winner got a few free pints on Friday evening. Great fun.
> "Sir, I'm sorry but our rules are like a zebra; black and white"
> "I'm sorry about the delay. Some days I'd swear I'd have more chance of finding a polar bear in the jungle than a file on this system"
> "I can't see him at his desk at the moment but I suppose I would need a giraffe's neck to see over the partitions in here"



I caught a fella out at work here one day. Gave him a number to ring and ask for D. Lyons. He fell hook, line and sinker for it. The number I gave him was Dublin Zoo.


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## Betsy Og (6 Sep 2010)

reminds me of a spoof telephone number I was given in London where you say hello and then a fella in a Yorkshire accent abuses you royally (in a prerecorded way!), eventually you cop its a recording.

Come to fink of ih, ih wuz like racial abuse wunnit, dumb Paddy takes another fall........ ;-)


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## Purple (6 Sep 2010)

A work with a guy called Mick. He worked in England for 8 years. The day he was leaving the guy who worked beside him shook his hand and said “What is your real name anyway?”


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## becky (6 Sep 2010)

Mpsox said:


> I'm not sure what is wrong with signing in and out of work, if only for health and safety reasons as much as everything else
> 
> Having said that, I remember once visiting a call centre in England, every staff member had an egg timer alarm clock on their desk, if they went on a toilet break or went to tea, they had to set the timer before they left and be back before it went off.


 
I didn't mind signing in - hated going into the office is all.


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## Mpsox (6 Sep 2010)

TarfHead said:


> In my first job, I worked in a bank branch in a provincial town. When speaking to the branch manager, I had to address him as 'Manager'. Not 'Joe' or 'Mr. Bloggs', but Manager. Even if I bumped into him outside of working hours, it was still 'Manager'.
> 
> That was then


 
I think I worked for the same organisation, when I joined I came in as a manager from outside and absolutely hated being called "manager", especially by people old enough to be my parents. Thankfully it was done away with shortly after I joined but I knew one or 2 people who would still look at you as if you had 2 heads if you called them something other then "manager"


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## enoxy (6 Sep 2010)

I worked in an office in UK in the era of the tea trolley (the early 90s). A biscuit was included with your tea - however for junior staff it was a plain one e.g., digestive, rich tea. Only the senior staff were allowed to choose a 'fancy' one such as a chocolate biccie.


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## Graham_07 (6 Sep 2010)

enoxy said:


> I worked in an office in UK in the era of the tea trolley (the early 90s). A biscuit was included with your tea - however for junior staff it was a plain one e.g., digestive, rich tea. Only the senior staff were allowed to choose a 'fancy' one such as a chocolate biccie.



Reminds one of "Are you being served".   innit right Captain Peacock.


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## Complainer (6 Sep 2010)

When I had a summer job in the post room of a large factory, the departmental manager had perfected the art of filling in stock control forms while 90% asleep.


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## Pique318 (7 Sep 2010)

TarfHead said:


> In my first job, I worked in a bank branch in a provincial town. When speaking to the branch manager, I had to address him as 'Manager'. Not 'Joe' or 'Mr. Bloggs', but Manager. Even if I bumped into him outside of working hours, it was still 'Manager'.
> 
> That was then



Did he refer to you as 'minion' ?


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## Towger (7 Sep 2010)

Did the Manager call their boss Governor and all the frontline staff Yellow Pack?


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## truthseeker (7 Sep 2010)

I used to work in a supermarket. There was a lot of pilferage (staff eating fun size bars, or slices of deli meat etc...). In order to keep down on the pilferage they instituted a procedure whereby if a staff member bought something to consume on the premises they had to get their receipt signed by a security man - so if they were seen later on consuming something they would be able to produce the signed receipt. What they failed to take into account was the midday security shift change. 1 person would buy a can of coke (or whatever) early in the day, get the receipt signed, consume the item. When the security shift change happened that staff member would pass the signed receipt on to the next person and so on and for the entire afternoon staff would be drinking cans of coke and producing the same receipt which had been signed by the security man who had gone home. Management never twigged it.


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## VOR (7 Sep 2010)

I worked in an office where many sales reps said that the most important item they had for entertaining clients was a sellotape dispenser. Apparently, they would use the jagged edge to cut the times off the bottom of receipts.
Ended up in a hotel bar at 2am buying drink for a client and afraid to hand in the receipt? No problem, just remove the time from the bottom and hand it in.


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## Firefly (7 Sep 2010)

VOR said:


> I worked in an office where many sales reps said that the most important item they had for entertaining clients was a sellotape dispenser. Apparently, they would use the jagged edge to cut the times off the bottom of receipts.
> Ended up in a hotel bar at 2am buying drink for a client and afraid to hand in the receipt? No problem, just remove the time from the bottom and hand it in.


 
fanTAStic


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## VOR (7 Sep 2010)

Seriously, one guy actually told me that it looked far more authentic than a scissors as it gave a serrated edge. He was quite proud of this. 
I expect the sales manager (who most likely did the same when a sales rep) turned a blind eye as long as the business was written and the clients were happy.


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## Tinker Bell (7 Sep 2010)

VOR said:


> I worked in an office where many sales reps said that the most important item they had for entertaining clients was a sellotape dispenser. Apparently, they would use the jagged edge to cut the times off the bottom of receipts.
> Ended up in a hotel bar at 2am buying drink for a client and afraid to hand in the receipt? No problem, just remove the time from the bottom and hand it in.


A bit slow today. Only just got it. Very good


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## PyritePete (7 Sep 2010)

a bit of a work game here also...

anyone play bulls***tbingo.net ? a number of business terms in a square. I used to print them off and during a meeting, pretend to make notes of what was discussed but secretly crossing off what was said.


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## PaddyW (7 Sep 2010)

PyritePete said:


> a bit of a work game here also...
> 
> anyone play bulls***tbingo.net ? a number of business terms in a square. I used to print them off and during a meeting, pretend to make notes of what was discussed but secretly crossing off what was said.




Haha nice Pete.. Did you ever stand up and yell you know what though?!


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## PyritePete (7 Sep 2010)

I wish Paddy, I was too busy laughing to myself !! Wouldn't it be great though, to stand bolt upright and say "lets get all the ducks in a row" or "the total cost of ownership is exorbitant"...great days those.


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## TarfHead (7 Sep 2010)

Towger said:


> Did the Manager call their boss Governor and all the frontline staff Yellow Pack?


 
No, though there was a surfeit of deference whenever a senior manager, or above, came to visit.

A few months after getting a transfer, I met him in Dublin and greeted him by his first name. I felt so daring  !!!


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