# court appearance for safety order application



## Carzy (19 Jul 2007)

Can anybody tell me what to expect for a court appearance re. a safety order against someone?

I applied for this in May against my ex-partner - but am starting to get cold feet as it's due up next week and he's putting pressure on me not to go through with it.

I was told it is an "informal" sitting in the family law court - but not sure what else to expect?


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## ClubMan (19 Jul 2007)

[broken link removed]? If necessary then I'm sure that your solicitor (if applicable) of the clerk of the court could advise on the process involved?


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## lucan 07 (19 Jul 2007)

i went with my friend 2 yrs ago for hers ,it is a court sitting and is not informal .
 dont back down , you will never know when you need it .
just be clear with what happened at the time .
 good luck and be strong


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## ClubMan (19 Jul 2007)

Carzy said:


> he's putting pressure on me not to go through with it.


If this pressure falls into the category of bullying or abuse then keep a record of incidents and, if necessary, use it to support your application.


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## Carzy (19 Jul 2007)

thank you clubman - this covers everything up to date

but my real query is about the format the hearing on the day will take. 

i.e. I presume I will be asked why I want this order and then my ex. will respond???.  
Am just worried as my ex will probably deny everything I say and has good as told me he will "bring" witnesses to say he is innocent, wasn't there on a particular night etc. etc.

Will be just a case of my word against his I suppose.

I dont intend having a solicitor present - as this was optional.  The ex "says" he will bring a solicitor but I have my doubts and think he's just trying to put me off going through with it.


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## ClubMan (19 Jul 2007)

Carzy said:


> I dont intend having a solicitor present - as this was optional.


 Is this because of the cost? If that is not a major issue then I would certainly consider having legal representation.


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## mf1 (19 Jul 2007)

There are a number of different issues arising and underlying the OP's post. 

1. How formal is the application?
2. Should I go ahead with it? 
3. What happens if I do/don't? 

1. Its not that formal but you have to give evidence of why you want the Order and the ex partner is entitled to defend those allegations. So, you're putting out there in a Court to a Judge that you feel the need for a SO. 

2. He is putting pressure on you not to go ahead. Either because  none of what you claim is true, you're  a liar  and you are seeking to blacken his name or because he is a bully.

3. If you go ahead and he denies it, you may or may get the Order.  If you don't go ahead, you will never know. 

mf


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## shootingstar (19 Jul 2007)

i supported someone going through this about 3 months ago. In the cork court it was done in the family law section!! it was very informal, it should just be the judge, his security guard, you, your ex partner, his representation & your representation. They will listen to all sides and decide then. but i would suggest you have legal representation with you. Its just my opinion. it will do you more good than harm.
 Its not compulsory to have legal rep with you. dont let it daunt you, your doing the right thing. your ex is possibly panicking a little to say hes trying to get you to stop the order. hmmm... stick to your gut feelings.... 

good luck with it.. 

SS


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## TreeTiger (19 Jul 2007)

If you can keep proof that he is pushing you not to go through with the court hearing, e.g. a recording of a telephone message, that may help too.

Best of luck to you, stay strong.


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## leafs (19 Jul 2007)

Getting cold feet is normal in this process. Bring a support person who can wait with you outside the court room. They will not be allowed to go in.
Write down list of abusive behaviour to use when speaking to judge with dates and times. Don't worry about him denying it, just focus on your adgenda.
If he is intimidating you not to go through with it, that is just more evidence of him trying to control you.
If you don't go through with it you are back to sqare one if it happens again. This is about you standing up for yourself and setting a boundary about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in your relationship with him.
If there are children involved i would strongly urge you to go through with it for their sake also.


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## Carzy (24 Jul 2007)

thank you all for your replies - they really make a difference
will definitely go through with it, its just difficult (and feel a bit hypocritical) while trying to remain amicable for the childrens sake


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