# Help me stop smoking!



## jambr (7 Dec 2006)

Its two weeks now since I have had my last cigarette and I up to now it’s not been too bad. Support has gone from family they are non smokers and don’t understand how hard it is. All I want is some one to say….. “Good for you, you are doing so well.” Or even acknowledge that I am doing something. I have to keep reminding them of how well I am doing and then they say “Good for you”. I need help and support but I am not getting it at home.
You would not believe the pressure I was under to stop up to two weeks ago… I cannot believe they just accept I don’t smoke now ONLY after two week. 
I am going through a bad time now and don’t know if I will keep off the ciggies.
Please help.


----------



## ClubMan (7 Dec 2006)

Maybe they are trying to be sensitive to your situation? When my wife gave up a few years ago she definitely did not want people commenting on or  inquiring about how she was getting on or congratulating her on her progress. So I and others didn't. I guess she felt that it put undue pressure on her or something. She's still off them by the way. If you feel that you need an incentive/reward then treat yourself to something that isn't a replacement bad habit for the smokes.


----------



## liteweight (7 Dec 2006)

My husband gave up about 4 months ago. Although I thought he was great I was afraid to mention it in case I put the thought into his head!


----------



## ney001 (7 Dec 2006)

I gave up in April this year and found my family brilliant (non-smokers) but found the OH's family awful (all smokers) - they couldn't understand what the problem was, if I was in a bad mood just have a cigarette! - except for Mr Ney, he is a lifelong smoker so he knew how hard it was for me - he started smoking outside and still does.  The main thing is to just get on with it, I know the panicky feelings and bad moods and overall depression but you have to motor on and put all those feelings to the back of your mind.  you're doing this for yourself not for anyone else - don't focus on the negativity because you will just tell yourself to have a cigarette - go for a walk - I joined the gym and I used to just bugger off by myself to go for a swim or use the rowing machine when people annoyed me and trust me back then EVERYBODY annoyed me.  You will pull through - the first three weeks are the hardest.  best of luck and don't give in to negative feelings because giving up cigarettes gets harder every time so try to do it first time (I did it second time around).


----------



## Carpenter (7 Dec 2006)

I'm off cigarettes 8 years come January; best thing I ever did.  What worked for me was (as Clubman suggests) to incentivise the process.  I chanelled the money I wasn't spending into a new hobby, something which brings me a lot of pleasure and each time I go out to potter in my workshop I am reminded how glad I am that I stuck with it.  For the first few months I would go walking in the evenings with my partner; the fresh air and the "feel good factor" associated with any type of excercise helps to drown out any cravings.  You really will only feel shaky for a couple of weeks or so,; it gets easier with time and you'll be so glad you did.  It must be a lot easier now I think with the smoking ban, it's neither socially acceptable nor convenient to smoke now anyway.  My (now) wife was a fantastic support in giving up, then again both her parents are smokers and she hated the habit.  Stick with it.  As all ex-smokers will tell you "once a smoker, always a smoker"- I know that I will have to be vigilant for the rest of my life, but I have no cravings or hankerings for tobacco anymore.


----------



## Fingalian (7 Dec 2006)

Keep it up, the first two weeks are the toughest, you are doing good. It gets easier from now on. You made a decision stick with it.The actual craving for a cigarette only lasts about 5 minutes but in your head you might be thinking 'God I'd love a smoke' , I'll only be a social smoker, I'll only smoke 3 a day, or at nightime, or I'll switch to Rollies or cigars...... The slippery slope. When you get the 'mad craving' try and still your mind and vizualize doing some 'thing' you really enjoy, think about what you could do with the money you are saving. After a few minutes the craving will be gone.After a month or so the cravings go.Baby steps...little victories.

I gave up in May after smoking for 20 years, tried everything...Acupuncture, Hynotism,Nicorette,and a few snake oil methods. None worked, making a decision did.

Good going , it is going to get easier, you can do it.


----------



## Nell (7 Dec 2006)

hi jambr, im off the ciggies 5 weeks,(after 8 yrs of enjoying smoking) I relate to the lack of support. I have to remind my OH that Im doing so well. I live with 2 heavy smoking flatmates and receive no acknowledgement from them, I think this is due to a certain amount of guilt that they cant do the same so wont encourage me to break away.
Its very difficult but just remember you need to do this for yourself, if looking for incentive visit look up some of the antismoking forums. also research the damage cigs do, it puts you right off.


----------



## Carpenter (7 Dec 2006)

I think I remember reading somewhere that 90% of long term ex-smokers gave up and stayed of cigarettes using willpower alone.  Cigars are a definite no-no!  Most smokers will not encourage you- think about it!  It's a self esteem thing: "sure we're all in it together" the camaraderie of heading out for a smoke etc.  Then, when you decide that you don't want to smoke anymore "puff!" you've suddenly joined the "dark side".  If you feel you need encouragement remind those nearest and dearest to you that you could use some bit of encouragement now and then.  When those initial couple of difficult weeks are over it's entirely up to you then.  Remember what Allen Carr (RIP) would advise his "customers": "life doesn't end when you give up smoking, you're not giving something up- non-smokers enjoy meals out, drinks, holidays and all other activities- without smoking"  (or something like that!).


----------



## ClubMan (7 Dec 2006)

As I posted before - if you fail to give them up then you probably don't really want to give them up in the first place. That's not a criticism but just facing facts. My wife tried a few times but admits now that she was not really serious and went back on them for no particularly good reason. When she finally did give them up she just knew that she was going to stop - although it was hard for the first few weeks. I think that _Alan Carr's _stuff also emphasises this point about really being prepared to give them up as opposed to fooling yourself that you are serious. In a way it's classic CBT stuff - thinking clearly/logically about your own situation (not always easy!) and making informed decisions based on the facts rather than some distortion of them. Ultimately only you can give them up and any external encouragement or comments are largely irrelevant.


----------



## polo9n (7 Dec 2006)

well done Chief, i guess you can get yourself something for the money u saved from ciggies, that would be a good to keep u going kickiing the habit


----------



## Carpenter (7 Dec 2006)

I would agree with a lot of what ClubMan has to say above, but when you're dealing with an addiction- sometimes logic and clear thinking can go out the window. So for some (maybe less logical?) people a few words of encouragement at an aprropriate time can help to get you over that initial "hump".  For myself I was really determined and motivated when the time came and I acknowledge that other previous failed "attempts" were not really serious at at all (in hindsight).


----------



## sonnyikea (7 Dec 2006)

I gave up 5 years ago. I found the hardest thing was the habit side more than the physical addiction. I had to completely change my way of doing things to try and avoid the situations where I would, out of habit more than need, normally smoke. If I did have a physical craving then just doing something other than what I was doing for 5 minutes got me over the craving. You need to train your brain to concentrate on something else at the exact point of the craving.

I was also in a 'happy place' at the time, other stresses were very low which helped a lot.

My main motivation to get through it was thinking 'if I smoke now then I could have just had a ciggie at day one and saved myself all this hassle and time'. I could never then bring myself to have one. I think this was due to the self loathing I would have felt so it comes back to the doing it cos you want to and for yourself and no one else.

Stick with it though as you won't know yourself when you're off them completely.


----------



## muzaway (7 Dec 2006)

Stick with it!

I gave up the day the ban came in (with the help of Alan Carr) and have never looked back.

The first few weeks are tough - with a few seriously uncomfortable five minute bouts of needing a cigarette - but then it gets easier and easier, and your feeling of achievement will grow and grow.

Do treat yourself the odd time, I started buying the odd magazine with the 5 or 6 euro I would have spent on fags.

I agree that willpower is the best way of giving up, but would suggest reading Alan Carr's book as it does a great job of explaining why giving up is such a good move, and why it's not so hard. i re-read the book during my first few weeks, just to keep myself motivated during the early days.

Well done on giving up, you'll be chuffed with yourself for finally doing it.

M


----------



## clone1 (7 Dec 2006)

I gave up seven years ago now - and I used an american internet bulletin board ' giveupsmoking support' for daily reassurance, everytime you post on the board you have in your signature how long you've been a non-smoker, how much you've saved, how many you have not smoked, and an estimate of how much time you've added to your life. - all those stats come from a desktop program you run and put in your details. - I found it good - but everyone is different. - If you needed to talk I think you can now call the smokers quitline - make use of every support resource out there - it is worth it. I remember the three targets I set. 3 Days, 3 Weeks, 3 Months


----------



## Guest127 (7 Dec 2006)

well done! and keep it up. you didn't say how many you smoked but say 20 a day x7 days at €7 euro a pack around €50 per week. another 2 weeks and you have saved €200. flights to rome are around €85 in jan including taxes and charges. treat yourself to a mini holiday.


----------



## jambr (7 Dec 2006)

Thank you all for you help and advice. Today is day 15 and has been a good day. Yes I did smoke 20 a day and sometimes a little more, have been saving the money and its great to see it amount up. Not looking forward to Christmas day as 5 out of 11 of my guests for dinner smoke. 
Thanks again
Julie


----------



## CCOVICH (7 Dec 2006)

jambr said:


> Not looking forward to Christmas day as 5 out of 11 of my guests for dinner smoke.


 
Ha-tell them your house is now a no smoking zone and they can stand out in the cold and wet if they want to smoke!

I used to smoke but I don't allow any of my friends to smoke in my house.  Greatly disruptes poker games, but that's life.


----------



## jambr (7 Dec 2006)

I will tell them but my mother and aunt are in their 80s and feel bad about putting them outside. I will just have to put up with them.


----------



## Cahir (8 Dec 2006)

jambr said:


> I will tell them but my mother and aunt are in their 80s and feel bad about putting them outside. I will just have to put up with them.



Then they'll just have to do without.  I had no trouble putting my 63 year old aunt out in the stormy weather when she took out her cigarettes in my house.  Although one of the neighbours (a smoker) took pity on her and asked her inside.


----------



## Carpenter (8 Dec 2006)

jambr said:


> Not looking forward to Christmas day as 5 out of 11 of my guests for dinner smoke.
> 
> Julie


 
Allen Carr would probably say: "6 out of your 11 guests are non smokers".


----------



## bskinti (9 Dec 2006)

Well done Jambr, think of me I wont go to the cinema because they banned smoking, I then gave up going out to the pub, too wet and cold,the last drink I had in a pub was 22 DEC last with workers at Christmas break up, any celebrations are now held in house, and just 3 weeks ago I got banned from my sitting room due to a new baby grandchild, I banned myself, I still go through 40 to 50 a day and other half gets 20, thats 70 a day we buy,thats 24.67 a day out of my wages which is €172 a week and almost €9000 a year I have worked it out and I cant afford to drink so I must just sacrifice the pub and cinema and holidays,I wont work where a smoking ban applies, You see if you put your mind to it you could still smoke, I wont let the fags or anyone get the better of me although I get a bit wheezy at night I'll never give them up,You see the willpower you need and the willpower I need, Its all about willpower so best of luck Jambr,


----------



## Guest127 (9 Dec 2006)

see if your will power beats lung cancer!


----------



## RainyDay (10 Dec 2006)

Congratulations to the OP - If you have (or plan to have) kids, you will reap the dividends of your decision many times over.


----------



## al2000 (10 Dec 2006)

First few weeks are the hardest.
I'm off them since new years day.
If you make that concious decision to quit, you can do it.
I smoked for 14 years, about 20 a day.
Woke up new years day and said no more.
Tried to quit times before, but lookin back, deep down I didn't want to really.
Don't let yourself fall into the trap of "ah sure I'll one with a pint" etc... before
you know it you'll buy 10 fags, then it'll be 20.
I was on the rollies for most of those 14 years.
Previous occasions of trying to quit, I would take a smoke from a friend next thing I 
was buying 10 fags a day, the head then was defeated so I bought the pack of rollies
cos it was cheaper.
As said previous, take up a hobby, I now play football a few times a week and took 
up playing the guitar.
Anywho, best of luck and just keep thinking what is the purpose of smoking, eh?


----------



## ClubMan (10 Dec 2006)

al2000 said:


> Anywho, best of luck and just keep thinking what is
> the purpose of smoking, eh?


I always liked this quotation:
_I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth._ [SIZE=-1]MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN[/SIZE]​


----------



## PM1234 (11 Dec 2006)

Willpower is the key. Also take up/increase exercise. Its eurphoric to breathe easier and work out harder without getting short of breath.  I remember reading that when you give up you shouldn't acknowledge the day you gave up eg 2 wks today. Apparently smokers link the anniversary with a celebration and this can be a negative factor as smokers associate celebrations with lighting a cig. Could be codswallop but it made sense to me when I gave up.


----------



## june (12 Dec 2006)

congrats on giving up. it's so hard to do. I tried to give up several times. What finally kept me off them was the thought of ever having to go through withdrawal symptoms again. For me it was 4 weeks of hell as each drop of nicotine was squeezed out of my body craving and begging to be replenished! I used to be so affected by the withdrawal that I swore I would never go through it again . It worked. That was in Jan 2000.


----------



## jambr (12 Dec 2006)

Thank you for all your support and advice. I am still a non smoker, three weeks tomorrow. It has not been too bad but have had bad moments. Using Nicorette gum when it gets bad but try to do with out it most of the time.


----------



## Sammie (12 Dec 2006)

Number to ring for the quit line is - 1850 201203

they give good support.


----------



## jambr (10 Jan 2007)

Seven weeks today and still not smoking. Over Christmas wasnt as hard as I thought and its much easier now. I still get the urge to smoke but can deal with it.
Thank you all for your help and support.
Jambr


----------



## ClubMan (10 Jan 2007)

Well done. Forgot to say that my wife also used the helpline once or twice and found it a useful source of solace - c. three years on and she said that she still feels that she should call them to report a success!


----------



## Ethan 1 (11 Jan 2007)

Congratulations
I have been free for almost a year now. Best move I ever made. Like a previous poster I found a website very helpful http://whyquit.com/


----------



## Carpenter (11 Jan 2007)

Well done; I'll be celebrating 8 years smoke free tomorrow!


----------



## Alex (11 Jan 2007)

i'm off them a year now.


----------



## Murt10 (26 Jan 2007)

Here's a video on the damage smoking does which is quite disgusting (sound needed.


http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=fa9184e119


Murt


----------



## HelloJed (26 Jan 2007)

I gave up 5 years ago.

Found that going to the gym at the time really helped - I originally started to lose weight, but I really got into it and the 'my body is a temple' mind-set...every time I thought of smoking I thought about how hard it would be to exercise the next day, and how it was ruining my body!

Good luck to everyone who is giving them up.


----------

