# Trying to work out reasonable Spousal Maintenance



## ptsc (30 Jun 2009)

My wife and I recently separated. We have one child and we have agreed on what would be a reasonable amount of child maintenance which i am happy to pay. what we cannot agree on is the amount of spousal maintenance and we seem to be getting conflicting legal advice which is not helping.

The conflict is around whether or not my wife should be entitled to maintain the same quality of life as when we were together. She has always worked but my income is higher so now that we have separated if I don't pay her maintenance beyond the child maintenance she would not be able to maintain the same quality of life as before.

She has completed her statement of means and included all the costs she was incurring when we were together. Things like expensive holidays, lavish entertainment etc. We were happy to do this at the time now things have changed and I think she needs to moderate her lifestyle.  Also we have two investment properties and she has included 50% of the mortgage on these. This leaves a significant shortfall and her solicitor says I need to cover the deficit as a spousal maintenance. My solicitor says I have an obligation to my child and not to my separated wife.

So who is right here? My view is that I will always pay for my child and will be happy to do so but given my wife has always worked and not sacrificed her career I should not be obligated to pay for her champagne lifestyle, which she can now no longer afford. am I being unfair? How would a court be likely to act?


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## cleverclogs7 (30 Jun 2009)

personally,to her,i would only be paying half the mortgage only .if shes working full time that is.im a single mom of 2 and get by on 254 a week(s.w) let her pay for her own lavish lifestyle.As long as you take care of your child and your part of the mortgage.


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## mf1 (30 Jun 2009)

I don't think you are getting conflicting advice - I think you both just see things very differently and that is being communicated to your solicitors. 

Without knowing the facts of the case it is not possible to offer any meaningful advice but in general any settlement should be based on what a court is likely to order. 


In Court, a judge will look at all the facts of the case, the ages of the parties, their capacity to earn into the future and, indeed, former lifestyle. I take the view that a Judge would take a negative view of a spouse wanting to be maintained in a lavish lifestyle IF the other spouse's financial position had deteriorated significantly but that does not appear to be the case  here. 

In the end, if the parties cannot agree and are poles apart, go to Court. Its the only way you will both be satisfied . But that is expensive and you should take that on board also. 

Very often the most significant issues in a matrimonial cases are widely differing views on respective responsibility, the length of the marriage and the degree of dependency on each other, downright meanness and outright grubbiness. I am still coming across cases where people accept there is a downturn but do not think it should affect them. Go figure

mf


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## so-crates (30 Jun 2009)

question for you ptsc - will you be able to maintain the same lavish lifestyle as before? Will you be able to afford a more lavish lifestyle?


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## lou2 (30 Jun 2009)

If, as you say, she has not sacrificed her career, then I see no reason why she should get spousal maintenance. I don't think you are being unreasonable.


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## ptsc (1 Jul 2009)

so-crates said:


> question for you ptsc - will you be able to maintain the same lavish lifestyle as before? Will you be able to afford a more lavish lifestyle?



no. My lifestyle will be impacted in many ways:
1) not living in the family home anymore
2) not having much access to my child
3) living in rented accommodation with no way of accessing the equity in my family home to pay a deposit for another property
4) having less disposable income than previously because of the level of spousal maintenance my wife is seeking

Actually I tend to lead a fairly modest life so I will not be impacted much if the measurement is night outs etc but thats not the point. The point is that the more I need to pay the less I have for pension, a new place for myself etc. If the expectation is that her statement of means should include all "current" expenditure and that I need to bridge that deficit for her each month that means her lifestyle is being maintained and the maintenance amount is higher.


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## holly (1 Jul 2009)

Having once been in your wife’s shoes, I too expected my lifestyle to continue unchanged. I didn’t want to allow for the fact that we had the same pot of money but double the expenses. My ex didn’t want to allow for the fact that leaving me struggling impacted heavily on our children. The truth is neither one of your lives will be as good financially, in the short term anyway. 
You are not responsible for her entertainment costs or holidays or any luxuries, she will have to cut her cloth to suit her measure as they say. Perhaps she may need a little help toward her living costs IF she can’t afford the basic bills on the family home – that sort of depends on how you feel about your child’s lifestyle and whether or not you want your child to remain in the family home. In your wife’s statement of means – once you discount the holidays, etc. – if are there items which you can see that she may genuinely struggle with, you might consider if you think it is right to contribute. 
In terms of the two investment properties, can you live in one and both of you pay 50% of the mortgage on the other? If she can’t hold up her share of the mortgage(s) then you may have to look at selling one or both.
Another thing to keep in mind is that (I think and others may correct me) any spousal support to her is tax deductible for you and taxable for her – Is she aware of that?


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## badeth (25 Aug 2009)

[FONT=&quot]Spousal support has been always the problem of any divorcing couples. Many think that alimony or spousal support is unfair because one party can instigate the amount of money that will be awarded to the receiving spouse. However, the price for alimony is given less now compared before because of the propensity  of dual-income household. The court will also determine the form and duration of spousal support.  

The best thing you can do is try to confront your spouse about it. On the other hand, make her understand the burden it brings to you if you pay for the hefty amount. Everything can be solved by proper communication.
[/FONT]


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