# Ex won't give me more maintenance



## Flowers49 (25 Jan 2021)

Hi
I'm looking for some advice,I'm separated almost four years and live with my two teenage daughters..my ex pays me €300 per month for both girls.our mortgage is €1400 pm and he hasn't paid towards it since he left. 
I have a buisness for the last 25 years,and an apartment attached,my mortgage on that is €2000 pm(€1200 rental income )but I am unable to work due to covid ..I hated asking him for money but this week I said I would need more as I'm finding it hard to make ends meet, He replied he was giving me 15% of his wages and that was enough..I have been borrowing from my family for the past 5 months to get me through..He doesn't contribute to school activities clothes ect..


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## Thirsty (26 Jan 2021)

Do you have a separation agreement or judicial separation in place?


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## Flowers49 (26 Jan 2021)

No I did start divorce proceedings last january,but with covid I just had to stop because I was out of work and couldn't afford it.


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## _OkGo_ (26 Jan 2021)

What exactly is your question? 

It looks like your rental is the problem, not the amount of maintenance you receive. What are the details of both mortgages you have? It does not look like your rental could be profitable (enough to justify the risk) for you even at tracker rates. You may well be entitled to more maintenance form your ex but you need to sort out your own finances first


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## NoRegretsCoyote (26 Jan 2021)

_OkGo_ said:


> not the amount of maintenance you receive.



I have no expertise in this area but €300 maintenance out of €2000 wages for two teenagers is not very much in either absolute or relative terms.


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## Flowers49 (26 Jan 2021)

My question is is €300 pm maintenance very low for two children ? My buissness mortgage is ok as I have a tenant and my buissness pays the excess..
I am paying house mortgage of €1400 pm with €350 covid payment but I have nothing left to feed my children..


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## Flowers49 (26 Jan 2021)

NoRegretsCoyote said:


> I have no expertise in this area but €300 maintenance out of €2000 wages for two teenagers is not very much in either absolute or relative terms.


That was my question..thank you..I'm left with €300 maintenance €240 childrens allowance to pay insurance heating electricity health insurance and food ?


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## Páid (26 Jan 2021)

You can go to https://www.flac.ie/


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## _OkGo_ (26 Jan 2021)

NoRegretsCoyote said:


> I have no expertise in this area but €300 maintenance out of €2000 wages for two teenagers is not very much in either absolute or relative terms.



I fully agree but what I mean is that the financial stress is being caused by mortgage payments of €3400/m. It is unlikely that the OP will get much from her ex in the short term without going through the legal route and divorce. But they could potentially solve some of their worries by looking at ways to reduce their monthly mortgage commitment or temporarily pause the mortgage payments. 

I'm not sure what the current status of payment breaks are (are they still accepting?) but the OP needs to discuss her options with the lenders of both mortgages to see what can be achieved. This could have a much bigger impact on short term finances and allow time to sort out the correct maintenance payment. If none of this can be achieved, is selling the apartment an option?


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## MrEarl (26 Jan 2021)

NoRegretsCoyote said:


> I have no expertise in this area but €300 maintenance out of €2000 wages for two teenagers is not very much in either absolute or relative terms.



No, it's not....

However, the other side of the coin is, what does the former partner need, to live on, and house themselves etc.?

€1,700 per month is not a lot, particularly if living and working in Dublin.

Perhaps there's a genuine affordability issue here ?





I also agree with earlier comments made about the commercial mortgage. Something needs to be done there, to either reduce the monthly repayments, or maybe do a sale and leaseback on the business premises, while benefiting from the released equity. Perhaps the title can be split, with the apartment sold, and the business premises retained (assuming the finances justify the effort).


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## Flowers49 (26 Jan 2021)

Only 4 years left on commercial mortgage..its my pension..my ex is supposedly working 6 nights a week,lives in his Dads 1.5  million house and just bought a new motorbike..tried to ring flac today no answer...gonna try rent out attic to earn extra cash..thanks all...


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## Pinoy adventure (26 Jan 2021)

Flowers49 said:


> Only 4 years left on commercial mortgage..its my pension..my ex is supposedly working 6 nights a week,lives in his Dads 1.5  million house and just bought a new motorbike..tried to ring flac today no answer...gonna try rent out attic to earn extra cash..thanks all...



His Dads 1.5m house (which is nothing  got too do with him) & supposedly working 6 nights a week.look beyond these issues if you can as it's won't help you


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## Thirsty (26 Jan 2021)

You can apply to Family Court for child maintenance now. 

You don't need to apply for divorce or separation to seek child maintenance.

You don't need a solicitor either, the forms aren't too complicated. The clerks are helpful when it comes to paperwork but obviously can't give legal advice.

Child maintenance is based on both parents income and expenditure, not on the childs costs.

The max that can be awarded in District Court is €150 per child per week (a figure that hasn't changed in more than a decade).

You could always suggest that your former husband take on the primary care of the children and you will pay him €300 per month.


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## Thirsty (26 Jan 2021)

Flowers49 said:


> Only 4 years left on commercial mortgage..its my pension.


It's his pension too unless you get a divorce / Judicial Separation.


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## Flowers49 (26 Jan 2021)

Thank you I didn't realise it would be easy,I've been to family court before but it cost me €500 for solicitor..its good to know I can do it myself..I have managed on my own for this long and the only reason I need it upped is until covid is over and I can get back to earning my own money again..


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## elcato (27 Jan 2021)

Flowers49 said:


> I need it upped is until covid is over and I can get back to earning my own money again..


Then the first thing you should do is approach the banks about a mortgage break for a few months.


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## dubdub123 (30 Jan 2021)

if both names are on the mortgage still then OP may not be able to arrange mortgage break without agreement of her ex, but it's worth checking that out straight away.


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## Bronte (31 Jan 2021)

*Income*
€300 per month maintenance
€240 Child allowance
€1516 Covid Income
€1200 rental income
Total: €3256

*Expenditure*
€1400 mortgage. 
€2000 pm Rental mortgage
Total €3400

Something wrong here.  Clearly you need a mortgage break on both propeties.  Might be a problem to get your Ex to agree to that on the home.  Not sure if the solution then is to just stop paying until your business is back up and running.   Have you talked to your bank.  And agree that you should go and get the child maintenance order increased if possible.  

Not for now, but your Ex will have equity in the home.


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## Purple (2 Feb 2021)

Flowers49 said:


> Only 4 years left on commercial mortgage..its my pension..my ex is supposedly working 6 nights a week,lives in his Dads 1.5  million house and just bought a new motorbike..tried to ring flac today no answer...gonna try rent out attic to earn extra cash..thanks all...


So he's effectively homeless, working night and running a motorbike. 

You need to get a separation agreement in place but you are both entitled to a place to live and to access to your children. Even if he gave you €500 a month it wouldn't sort out your financial problems. I think you need to post in the Money Makeover section if you want advice on your real problem.


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## Thirsty (2 Feb 2021)

Living with one's parent(s) is very different from sleeping in a doorway.


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## Purple (3 Feb 2021)

Thirsty said:


> Living with one's parent(s) is very different from sleeping in a doorway.


Absolutely. You do realise that the the 8,200 people who are regarded as homeless in this country are not sleeping in doorways, right?
Moving out of a family home and living with your friend/relative/parent does not mean that you have a home. It's certainly not what anyone aspired to.


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## Purple (3 Feb 2021)

Thirsty said:


> It's his pension too unless you get a divorce / Judicial Separation.


Given his means there's a strong likelihood that it will still be his pension too after a divorce/ Judicial Separation.


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## Thirsty (3 Feb 2021)

Purple said:


> Given his means there's a strong likelihood that it will still be his pension too after a divorce/ Judicial Separation.


Not necessarily - depends on the settlement terms.


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## Purple (3 Feb 2021)

Thirsty said:


> Not necessarily - depends on the settlement terms.


Yes, I know it's not necessarily so, that's why I said "*Given his means there's a strong likelihood* that it will still be his pension too after a divorce/ Judicial Separation."


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