# Mum died one month ago - Complicated situation re: Will - PLEASE HELP!



## Rupert1 (27 Feb 2011)

This is a very, very complicated situation.

My Mum died 4 weeks ago aged 60. Her sister (my Aunt) is the family Solicitor. 

I am an only child and I know for a fact that my Mum left everything to me in her Will.

Since Mum has passed there has been no mention of the Will. I spoke to my Aunt (the solicitor dealing with the matter) this morning who has stated that she "doesn't know if Mum has made a Will". I know this is a lie as Mum and I only discussed the matter a short period ago. She simply stated that "everything goes to me".

What should I do? The solicitor has shown many signs over the past few days that she does not want me to see the Will for some reason. 

Is there anything I can do to make her show me the Will and have everything that I am entitled to, transferred over to me? Surely I am entitled to have everything owed to be transferred over to me? I really feel lost and as if I am being screwed as I have no siblings or other family members in Ireland.


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## PaddyBloggit (27 Feb 2011)

Get another solicitor to represent you.


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## Rupert1 (27 Feb 2011)

PaddyBloggit said:


> Get another solicitor to represent you.



That would cause uproar though.

When someone dies, *when* does the beneficiary usually get what they are entitled to?


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## millieforbes (27 Feb 2011)

Rupert1 said:


> Since Mum has passed there has been no mention of the Will. I spoke to my Aunt (the solicitor dealing with the matter) this morning who has stated that she "doesn't know if Mum has made a Will". I know this is a lie as Mum and I only discussed the matter a short period ago. She simply stated that "everything goes to me".
> .



Just to be clear, your aunt says everything goes to herself?


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## Padraigb (27 Feb 2011)

It can be difficult to face such matters soon after a bereavement. You do not mention your father, but if he is alive then it is an entirely different situation. Because you do not mention him, I presume that he does not need to be considered.

You believe that a will exists, and your aunt (who you would expect to know about it) professes to know nothing about it. I suggest that you proceed carefully.

First, organise a good hunt through your mother's home. Check also any other place where she might have put papers for safe keeping (her bank, for example). If no will can be found, tell your aunt that you presume that your mother died intestate, and that you intend to apply to the Probate Office for Letters of Administration. If she has been messing about, that might force her hand; if not, then the intestacy rules apply, and you should inherit everything anyway.

It usually takes a good few months, and often more than a year, before things are finally sorted out. A great deal depends on how complicated the estate is.


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## Rupert1 (27 Feb 2011)

millieforbes said:


> Just to be clear, your aunt says everything goes to herself?



No. My mum told me that everything goes to me.


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## PaddyBloggit (27 Feb 2011)

You need to clarify your situation:

Is your father deceased?

Who is the Executor?

Was your aunt involved in drawing up the will?

You need to clarify the answer that millieforbes posed .... are you referring to you or your aunt in that statement.

As an only child who got on well with his mother I would see it very suspicious if everthing is being left to your aunt.

If your aunt is hoodwinking you then you need to hire a solicitor immediately.

Finally, apologies for not saying it earlier .... my condolences on the death of your mother.


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## PaddyBloggit (27 Feb 2011)

Rupert1 said:


> No. My mum told me that everything goes to me.



If your mother said everything goes to you, confront your aunt.

If she is being evasive then get your own solicitor so that your interests and your mother's wishes are protected.


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## Rupert1 (27 Feb 2011)

Padraigb said:


> It can be difficult to face such matters soon after a bereavement. You do not mention your father, but if he is alive then it is an entirely different situation. Because you do not mention him, I presume that he does not need to be considered.
> 
> You believe that a will exists, and your aunt (who you would expect to know about it) professes to know nothing about it. I suggest that you proceed carefully.
> 
> ...



Thank you Padraig.

Dad has passed so that's why I have not mentioned him. I have searched through my mum's home and have found nothing. EVERYTHING was dealt with through my Aunt (mum's solicitor) for the past 30 years or so.


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## millieforbes (27 Feb 2011)

Rupert1 said:


> No. My mum told me that everything goes to me.



I think you should be careful about getting another solicitor yet

Has your aunt said anything about how she thinks the estate the estate will be divided? I think PadraigB is correct in saying that if your mum didn't leave a will, everything should go to you, so if your aunt says there is no will, I don't understand how she could claim you weren't entitled to everything?


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## Rupert1 (27 Feb 2011)

millieforbes said:


> I think you should be careful about getting another solicitor yet
> 
> Has your aunt said anything about how she thinks the estate the estate will be divided? I think PadraigB is correct in saying that if your mum didn't leave a will, everything should go to you, so if your aunt says there is no will, I don't understand how she could claim you weren't entitled to everything?



No, Aunt has said nothing about how estate will be divided. My Mum definitely left a will - I know that. There is not that much cash but there are three properties in Ireland all of which are mortgage free so I am anxious about getting this sorted. I don't want to be taken advantage of.


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## millieforbes (27 Feb 2011)

Ok, I understand you're anxious about what's going on, but I really would try to stay calm.

I think you should have a chat with your aunt - call to her office to keep everything professional. Speak to her with the assumption that everything is going to you, talk abou timelines, ask if there is anything you need to do or anything you can help with... Show her that you understand that you should inherit everything and put the ball in her court to contradict you.

Obviously you know your family better than anyone here but do remember that your aunt has lost her sister (in law) -she might not be quite ready to start sorting out the estate yet


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## ZeroCool (27 Feb 2011)

_I spoke to my Aunt (the solicitor dealing with the matter) this morning  who has stated that she "doesn't know if Mum has made a Will". I know  this is a lie as Mum and I only discussed the matter a short period ago.  She simply stated that "everything goes to me".

_I dont mean to be so forward at this difficult time but It sounds to me like she may be hiding something. If she is your mums solicitor for 30 years and if she is any way good at her job she would know for a fact excatly what your mum has. 
I would do some rooting around first and I would mabe get some advice from an outside solicitor.


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## mercman (28 Feb 2011)

Perhaps hasten slowly and try to deal with the matter in a calm way. On the basis of no movement from your aunt you have some other choices.

1. Contact the Law Society.

2. If you consider that a crime is being committed, bring the matters to the Garda Fraud Squad. 

Other solicitors dread dealing against one of their own and do not give your aunt anything to be suspicious -- Otherwise all the papers will be destroyed.

Sorry for your loss.


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## cl061969 (28 Feb 2011)

Hi, I have some xperience on this.  First of all, you didn't mention if your aunt is your mother's sister, or your father's.  If it's your mothers, then you need to thread carefully, as she has also lost someone that she knew for a lot longer then you did, although perhaps not as well. if it's your father's sister, then you need to take action.  Solicitors, especially in probate (wills and stuff) will take ages to sort out simple issues.  this is because any arguments that come up will be called the "administration" of the estate and all such costs are taken out of the estate.  This is a huge issue, and has the direct effect that most solicitors will either take years to solve a simple probate, or alternatively try to get as many arguments going as possible.  

either way, you need to move this along.  I appeciate the opinion that you should thread carefully, but i don't agree with that.  if you are the only child, then you are the next of kin and everything goes to you.  If your mother wanted to leave something to someone else, then she will have made a will.  Write to the solicitor and ask her to send you back a copy of the will that your mother left.  but brace yourself for this.  It has been known that wills that were held back from bereaved people have held things that they may not have expected.  If your mother didn't make a will, then there's no issue, it all goes to you, in which case, the title deeds of the property and anything else that needs to be handled is done so by the solicitor.  This won't take long to do this.  I think the best thing you need to do for now is to get a copy of the will, if one exists, or a letter from your aunt in her capacity as your mother's solicitor, to advise in writing if there isn't one.  But you should write to her, rather then call on the phone.  That way, there's a record.  And solicitors are good at answering letters.  Not so good with phone calls.

It's very frustrating.  I can hear your pain, and although if this is your mother's sister, I can understand the delay, she has to understand where she is and she put herself there.  She has an obligation to you, first and foremost.  She needs to advise you what is happening.  

And if she agreed to produce and hold the will, then she was prepared for the fact that she may have to administer the estate.  You are the person who should be being looked after. You have lost a parent.  But all parties entering into a probate action have suffered loss.  

i wish you the very best and I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Bronte (28 Feb 2011)

It's only been 4 weeks and your aunt has lost a sister so she cannot be feeling too well at the moment either. Make an appointment to see her, bring someone along for support and clarify if there is or is not a will. If there is a will then it probably has your aunt as executor. You can ask her to see the will, as your are an only child and presumably going to inherit everything there is no reasonable reason why she will not show you the will. If she is not the executor (and even if she is) you can ask her to transfer the will to another solicitor if you don't feel happy with her acting for your mother's estate. Naturally as it's her sister she may want to do what your mother wishes. You might also ask her what the fees will be for the probate. If there is no will you can yourself take out the grant of administration or hire a solicitor to do it for you. You are going to need a solicitor in any case for the property transfers/sales. 

You are presuming that your aunt is up to no good, and so far have not demonstrated why you have that assumption. Did your mother trust her. Have you another reason for not getting on with her. She has stated to you that everything goes to you. Remember you yourself must be upset at the moment so don't assume the worst. Be professional and have a meeting with her.

If your aunt refuses to meet you then you will have to write her a letter by registered post asking her to clarify the situation. You can hire a solicitor to do this for you and to explain your rights to you if need be. Don't hire a solicitor in the same locality as your aunt.


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## csirl (28 Feb 2011)

Legally speaking, if a Will exists, you have no automatic right to see it until the Probate process has concluded. You also have no right to decide who the Executor is - that decision is made by the decesased person as it is their Will.

However, may be in a better situation than you think. 

Firstly, bear in mind that many people talk about intending to make Wills etc. and even tell people that they are going to leave them x,y,z etc in their Will, but never actually get around to making a Will. Just because your mother talked about a Will, it does not mean that she made one.

I gather that your Aunt was your mothers solicitor and you've already checked your mother's papers and have no evidence of a Will. 

So the logical course of action is to approach your mothers solicitor (i.e. your Aunt) and formally ask her if she is in possession of a Will belonging to your mother. Mention that you, as next of kin, are the only person entitled to take out a Grant of Administration and this is what you intend to do if there is no Will. The answer will be a straight Yes or No. 



> "doesn't know if Mum has made a Will".


 
This quote suggests that your Aunt does not have a copy of a Will.

Assuming you Aunt doesnt have the Will, and, after having checked your mothers papers to see if she had ever dealt with any other solicitors etc. you've turned up nothing, then you apply for a Grant of Administration yourself with the assistance of your own solicitor.


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## beffers (11 Mar 2011)

Rupert, your original post contradicts itself. You said that your aunt denied any knowledge of their being a Will, and then that she was reluctant to discuss it or show it to you. Which one is it? There is a Will and she won't show it to you, or she doesn't know if there is one or not?

Your mam saying that she was leaving everything to you is one thing, her getting it down on paper is something else. If it turns out that she did not in fact make a Will, then yes everything goes to you, but it's up to YOU to decide what to do to get her assets transfered to you. You can do all the grunt work yourself to put her estate thru Probate. You can hire your aunt to do it for you. Or you can hire another solicitor to do it for you. It won't happen by itself, and your aunt has no legal obligation to help you out if (a) she is not in possesion of your mothers Will or (b) she is not the Executor of the Will.

From your posts, you seem to imply that you expect to get screwed over by your Aunt. What is the basis for that? Prior to your mothers passing, did you have a good relationship with her? Were she and your mother close? Is it possible that your mother decided to have another solicitor or her bank manager take care of her affairs and leave her sister out of it? Not everyone wants their family privy to their personal business. Have you spoken to your mothers bank manager, or other solicitors in the area, or any of your mothers friends who she may have confided in about these matters?

Obviously, there are questions that you need to ask your aunt...does she know if your mother made a Will? If there is one, does she know where it is? Could your mother  have drawn it up with someone else, and if so who? Does she know who the Executor of her sisters estate was? What is her opinion of the fact that your mother discussed a Will with you, but you can't find it? Once you have answers to these questions, you will know what direction you need to go in. 

I would proceed with caution when dealing with your aunt. Be gentle and be careful how you say things. She has suffered a loss that is just as painful as yours. My sister and I are Executors of each others estates. I would be devastated by her death. I would hope to be able to get the ball rolling on dealing with her Will as soon as possible after her death, as opposed to crawling under a rock and crying my eyes out for months on end. If if one of her kids came to me just a few weeks after her death, and implied that my dragging my feet dealing with her Will was due to shadiness on my part, as opposed to grief...wow... that would be an accusation that I don't think I could ever forgive. So tread cautiously there. Some things said in the heat of the moment, or in the midst of grief, can never be taken back. But as others have said, you know your family better than we do. If you feel that there is a Will knocking around some where, your aunt is being willfully obstructive about it, and you have evidence to prove it, it is time to get the Law Society, and YOUR own solicitor involved to protect your interests.

If it turns out that your Mam left no Will, that is not your aunts fault. She can not withhold information from you about something that she has no knowledge of in the first place. If that is the case, your aunt is under no legal obligation to do anything for you at all. Being a family solicitor is not a job title. It just means that she transacted specific legal transactions on behalf of your family, and she was paid a fee per transaction. If she was not appointed the Executor of your mams estate than she has nothing whatsoever to do with it or you, other than whatever moral obligation she may feel to help a family member out with legal advice and council.

Best of luck to you, and condolences on your loss.


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## Rupert1 (11 Mar 2011)

Howya Beffers,

I should have said that the will situation has been sorted. There was a will and i have my hands on it now.


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## beffers (11 Mar 2011)

Good for you. What happened? Did your aunt have it all along, or was it somewhere else? 

Apologies if I sounded preachy in my post, but I lost my mother too recently. I know from experience, that after a bereavement it is best to tread lightly when around family members, unless you have a very, very good reason to have to put the boot in.


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