# Dont want to have kids



## cnu (12 Oct 2006)

Hello,

While I've decided not to have kids, there is a lotta peer pressure to have one.  Decided not to have purely from "making the both ends meet" aspect.

Did anyone decide not to have kids?

Thanks


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## ninsaga (12 Oct 2006)

Enconomical motives as opposed to 'what you really want'! Think carefully about that before its to late.


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## ClubMan (12 Oct 2006)

Thread moved to _Shooting the Breeze_.


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## Guest109 (12 Oct 2006)

if everyone thought that way whatever would happen to us all, economical or not


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## bazermc (12 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> While I've decided not to have kids



How about buying one instead? saves all the hassle of giving birth!!!!!


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## ClubMan (12 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> Did anyone decide not to have kids?


I did years ago but my first arrived last year in spite of that!


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## podgerodge (12 Oct 2006)

ainya said:


> if everyone thought that way whatever would happen to us all, economical or not



But they don't.  It's called choice.  If you were in power would you force people to have kids on those grounds?!


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## ney001 (13 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> Hello,
> 
> While I've decided not to have kids, there is a lotta peer pressure to have one.  Decided not to have purely from "making the both ends meet" aspect.
> 
> ...



If you based your decision solely on money then you'll probably regret it!.  People manage to have kids all over the world no matter what their money situation is - you can always find a way to have children and look after them properly - you might have to go without designer pushchairs and clothes etc but once their fed and watered sure that's all you need!.  What about your other half - what do they think? or are you single - if so do you expect to meet someone with the same idea?.


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## fobs (13 Oct 2006)

I decided not to have kids and stuck to this up to age 29 ....now have two....


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## Purple (13 Oct 2006)

If it's just an economic decision then have two and sell the one you like least. Hold off for a few years, as it will be a great way of making them behave.


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## Ham Slicer (13 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> Did anyone decide not to have kids?
> 
> Thanks



I decided a long time ago not to have kids and will always stick to it.  This is something I won't compromise on.


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## ClubMan (13 Oct 2006)

I think it's a fair enough decision and people will make it for their own particular reasons. If some people decide not to have kids for economic reasons then that's their prerogative. However if they (e.g. the original poster) post on an internet bulletin board seemingly wondering about their decision then it might be a sign of some ambivalence. Ultimately you makes your choices and you lives with them. Each to his/her own.


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## cnu (13 Oct 2006)

I think having kids is a responsibility.  In today's world where we normally dont have enough time for ourselves, are we ready to invite someone into the world and still spare time for them?  The growing job uncertainity, drugs n all those bad things in the world... why should I bring a new life in?

Do I have to bring someone into the world just because I have some ulteriror motif of expressing my love or to look how my mini-me looks  .


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## ninsaga (13 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> I think having kids is a responsibility.



.... make no mistake..it is a hugn responsibility



cnu said:


> In today's world where we normally dont have enough time for ourselves, are we ready to invite someone into the world and still spare time for them?



... depends upon your perspective in life for sure... I can't wait to get home this evenign to see them.... it's what I look forward to most each day. 



cnu said:


> ..... drugs n all those bad things in the world... why should I bring a new life in?



....so its not purely economic reasons then?



cnu said:


> Do I have to bring someone into the world just because I have some ulteriror motif of expressing my love or to look how my mini-me looks  .




.....am not judging you cnu... that's entirely your choice... a child is not just for Christmas.... its tough & getting tougher... but these are choices that people make in life. 

As per my first post on this you do need to think it through though.. is this the way you have always felt? ir just a recent thought? there will come a time where there is not going back is all I'm saying... 

ninsaga


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## ClubMan (13 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> IIn today's world where we normally dont have enough time for ourselves


That's debateable.


> The growing job uncertainity, drugs n all those bad things in the world... why should I bring a new life in?


 There's no "should" to it. It's your choice (all things being equal - i.e. it's not a given for all individuals/couples that they can simply "choose" this to happen).


> Do I have to bring someone into the world just because I have some ulteriror motif of expressing my love or to look how my mini-me looks  .


 Obviously not. You seem to be implying that some people (here?) have that motivation which is a bit presumptuous in my opinion.


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## Slash (13 Oct 2006)

Whatever you decide is your own business. Do NOT bow to peer pressure. That would be the worst reason to have children.
If the "peers" are worth anything at all, they should respect your decision.


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## liteweight (13 Oct 2006)

We have two beautiful daughters, whom I wouldn't trade for all the treasure in the Sierra Nevada, the gold at the end of the rainbow, nor, indeed all the tea in China! Can't say the first was planned exactly, well she was and then we changed our minds and decided to take jobs in New York. Too late!! We've never regretted it, quite the contrary.




cnu said:


> I think having kids is a responsibility.  In today's world where we normally dont have enough time for ourselves, are we ready to invite someone into the world and still spare time for them?  The growing job uncertainity, drugs n all those bad things in the world... why should I bring a new life in?



This is the type of thinking one has before the kids arrive. As ninsaga says, we make time because it's what we want to do, not because we have to do it. Sure, there are bad things in the world which become all the more noticeable when you have children because you want to protect them from it! As to the uncertainty in life...I can honestly say that whenever dark days have dawned, my children shone a light into it simply by their presence.



> Do I have to bring someone into the world just because I have some ulteriror motif of expressing my love or to look how my mini-me looks  .



Definitely not!! I think you miss the point. Most parents' love for their children is unconditional. For my part, I wouldn't like to raise a mini me. I get much more satisfaction out of seeing the beautiful, intelligent, independent young women they've turned out to be.......even if it is hard to let them go!!


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## Marie M (13 Oct 2006)

cnu said:


> Do I have to bring someone into the world just because I have some ulteriror motif of expressing my love or to look how my mini-me looks  .




Would anyone seriously ever have kids for that reason, when I started having children there was no particular reason to have them, I made the descision to and did it.

You can only decide what you want out of your life, and best of luck with it.


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## Bamhan (13 Oct 2006)

Posts like this are so pointless and meaningless.
It is like the OP wants people to argue against his/her decision so he/she can feel as if everyone is of the opinion that he/she should have kids.
Seriously if it is something you feel the need to start a debate on on what is primarily a financial site then no way in the world are you ready to even contemplate having kids.


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## liteweight (13 Oct 2006)

This is the Shooting the Breeze section........it does what it says on the tin!!


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## ney001 (13 Oct 2006)

Bamhan said:


> Posts like this are so pointless and meaningless.
> It is like the OP wants people to argue against his/her decision so he/she can feel as if everyone is of the opinion that he/she should have kids.
> Seriously if it is something you feel the need to start a debate on on what is primarily a financial site then no way in the world are you ready to even contemplate having kids.



I kind of find posts about lipotrim pointless but I guess people have different things they feel the need to talk about - that's the point of shooting the breeze


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## ninsaga (13 Oct 2006)

Anyways cnu.... if you did want one would would you prefer a boy or a girl


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## cnu (13 Oct 2006)

A girl


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## dodo (13 Oct 2006)

Does that mean you will not get married, I think the biggest reason to get married is to have kids, I wonder how many people if they knew before they got married for some reason or another that they would have no kids, would they go throught with getting married  . If you love a person it does not mean you love them more because you married them does it.


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## ClubMan (13 Oct 2006)

dodo said:


> If you love a person it does not mean you love them more because you married them does it.


No but there are many other reasons - some of them boringly practical/prudent - for getting married. For example, tax, property ownership, inheritance issues etc.


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## dodo (14 Oct 2006)

ClubMan said:


> No but there are many other reasons - some of them boringly practical/prudent - for getting married. For example, tax, property ownership, inheritance issues etc.


Leaving that aside with the divorce rate in alot of Country's these days been 50%, if you knew both did not want kids or could'nt, it would seem alot less hassel.  I have to say if I chose not to have kids then I would not have got married,for tax's and the like is a sad reason to get married. also alot easier to walk away from if you where part of the 50% who dont stay married


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## rabbit (15 Oct 2006)

Something like 1 in 7 couples have fertility problems.  Many couples would like kid(s) but experience difficulties, and adoption is difficult.


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