# Marriage to a divorced man-not possible in church?



## helan72 (18 Apr 2006)

Hi,

Hoping someone can help me - the other half and i are talking about getting married. He is divorced and is church of england, i am catholic. anyone have any ideas on what our options regarding a religious ceremony would be - tried to speak with my local priest but he didnt want to know, just kept repeating "not in my church"!!!!!!!

thanks

H


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## nelly (18 Apr 2006)

*Re: Marriage to a divorced man*

you would probably be only able to manage a blessing in a catholic church. Its not just catholic priests that are strict about their rules, some rectors i know won't hear of allowing a marraige of a divorcee in their church although it is technically allowed in the protestant tradition. If i were you i would think abotu the blessing as it is much the same thing and get the legal bit done in registry.


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## helan72 (18 Apr 2006)

*Re: Marriage to a divorced man*

Thanks Nelly,

Am going to do the register office bit but was looking for a blessing in my local church thats what I was trying to explain to the priest. Will try talking to him again, am really wondering what are my options if he still sticks with his original answer. Can I appeal it / try some other parish (really want my own parish church but if not will go somewhere else)

H


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## legend99 (18 Apr 2006)

*Re: Marriage to a divorced man*

I'm confused. I thought that strictly speaking he was never married in a catholic church so do the catholic church still see him as being divorced...my understanding was that say yuo got married in a registry office and then got divorced that you could marry for your second marriage and be married in a catholic church as they never viewed you as married.


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## Danmo (18 Apr 2006)

*Re: Marriage to a divorced man*

Been here - got the t-shirt. I am C of I - husband is Catholic and divorced. We had a registry office wedding and blessing in a C of I church and we had a fight to get that ( er...coz it was my "childhood" parish which we don't attend). Feel free to PM me.


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## hotlips (18 Apr 2006)

This can be very complicated. It depends on whether or not the Catholic church recognises your husband's previous marriage as a marriage. For example, if he was previously married to a Catholic but they did not have a church wedding, this would not be a valid marriage in the eyes of the church so you would be able to have a church wedding now. However, if he was previously married to a non-Catholic and that wedding took place in a registry office, the Catholic church will probably say that they have to recognise that and so you won't be able to have a church wedding, unless that marriage is annulled by the Catholic church.
There are many possible permutations and combinations.
You need to find an understanding priest who is familiar with canon law himself or who will follow up with some experts on the issue for you. Perhaps you can find a school chaplain or non-parish priest to talk to who has an academic interest in these matters.
I don't know if your local priest can refuse to allow you to use his church if canon law would allow you to marry there. That would seem to be quite unfair to me!

Good luck!


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## Audrey (18 Apr 2006)

*Re: Marriage to a divorced man*



			
				legend99 said:
			
		

> I'm confused. I thought that strictly speaking he was never married in a catholic church so do the catholic church still see him as being divorced...my understanding was that say yuo got married in a registry office and then got divorced that you could marry for your second marriage and be married in a catholic church as they never viewed you as married.


I can see Legend99's point.  My situation was a sort of variation on a theme!  But here goes for what it's worth.  I'm a Catholic.  I'd never been married before.  I wanted to marry current hubby.  He had been married twice before!!  Yep!  He's English - what can I tell ya!  He was never married in a Church.  His mother (God bless her) had him christened as a baby (God knows why, because she never darkened the Church door after that).  We were married in a Catholic church in 2002 without any big deal at all.  (Of course the priest needed to see the previous two decree absoluts etc etc etc).  As far as I could ascertain, and I'm pretty sure of this, the reason the priest had no problem marrying us (and Archbishops House had no problem giving permission) was (a) because hubby was never married in Church and was therefore 'not married in the eyes of the Church' AND (b) because hubby is a baptised Catholic.  I know it's not the same situation as the original poster's, but it may throw some little light on the subject for somebody.


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## Kiddo (18 Apr 2006)

If you are in Dublin you could try the Unitarian Church in St Stephens Green. Afaik you'll have no problems there.


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## Helen (19 Apr 2006)

For a marriage to by valid in the eyes of the catholic church it must be carried out by a catholic priest or else permission must have been granted by the bishop for the person to marry in a different church.

There are a few discussions on www.weddingsonline.ie on this topic, specifically this one ..
[broken link removed]


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## helan72 (19 Apr 2006)

thanks for the info everyone - have made contact with a more agreeable priest in my parish who says he will see what he can do for us, but its nice to know about our other options. 

H


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## Lorz (20 Apr 2006)

Check out this link.... Site set up by Accord (counselling service) and Church.  Great site for help with all the essential paperwork needed too!

Link details inter Church/Faith marriages


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## Megan (21 Apr 2006)

Maybe you should contact Fr. Iggy in Drogheda and then you could have the best of both churchs.

Just heard that there was a wedding in one of our local Catholic churchs last Holy Saturday- hasnt times change seeing that you couldnt get married during Lent not that long ago.


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