# It doesn't get worse than this . . .



## PMU (15 Nov 2007)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm


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## Graham_07 (15 Nov 2007)

Is this for real or are we being taken for a ride ?


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## Caveat (15 Nov 2007)

What was the bike's reaction?

"Oh he really rang my bell" ?


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## Graham_07 (15 Nov 2007)

Could be worse, he could have been arrested under the "public meetings" acts for holding a raleigh without permission.


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## Jock04 (15 Nov 2007)

Sadly, it's true.  (He must've moved to Scotland from elsewhere, surely! )

I remember this doing the rounds at the time of his original hearing, and recall Clubman rightly defending the misguided fellow by saying "at least he was wearing [broken link removed]"


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## Jock04 (15 Nov 2007)

In fairness now............. 


maybe he just misunderstood when, having asked his girlfriend to .....help him out.....  she replied in typical Scots fashion " on yer bike, pal"


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## ninsaga (15 Nov 2007)

maybe he was just trying to 'pump' up the tyres


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## tyoung (15 Nov 2007)

This reminded me of Flann O'Brien's "The Third Policeman"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Third_Policeman

"The gross and net result of it is that people who spend most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you would be surprised at the number of people in these parts who nearly are half people and half bicycles."

Life imitating Art!


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## MugsGame (15 Nov 2007)

I heard the cleaners are being treated for severe cycological trauma.


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## franmac (15 Nov 2007)

Could have been twice as bad.

He could have a tandem.


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## ninsaga (15 Nov 2007)

Did he blame Freddie Mercury....... 'I want to ride my bicycle'


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## ClubMan (16 Nov 2007)

Maybe his real partner was on her menstrual cycle so he had to make do?


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## ninsaga (16 Nov 2007)

Apparently this bloke was a well read & clever individual ..... could be classed as an En*cyclo*paedia


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## ClubMan (16 Nov 2007)

As long as he wasn't a bibliophile!


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## Jock04 (16 Nov 2007)

In fairness now  

maybe he just didn't know it was illegal to ride your bike in a hotel room.


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## elefantfresh (16 Nov 2007)

All joking aside, how can he be done for this? In a locked room with his bike. Yes, its odd alright but who knows what people get up to behind closed doors. I don't understand exactly why he's in trouble.
Good story though!!


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## Jock04 (16 Nov 2007)

elefantfresh said:


> All joking aside, how can he be done for this? In a locked room with his bike. Yes, its odd alright but who knows what people get up to behind closed doors. I don't understand exactly why he's in trouble.
> Good story though!!


 

Apparently, when the cleaners came in, he...didn't stop.




Should've checked his brakes.


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## elefantfresh (16 Nov 2007)

Maybe it needed oiling


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## gipimann (16 Nov 2007)

Will the vehicle involved get a reputation as "the local bike" ?


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## car (16 Nov 2007)

Is this one of those chain mails that get pumped up now and again?

 

Im nearly sorry I spoke now.


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## ClubMan (16 Nov 2007)

Jock04 said:


> Apparently, when the cleaners came in, he...didn't stop.


And he was exposing his [broken link removed] to them...

[broken link removed]


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## Jock04 (16 Nov 2007)

ClubMan said:


> And he was exposing his [broken link removed] to them...
> 
> [broken link removed]


 

heh heh  


jaysus, though, that pic brings back memories (of much more innocent fun)

didn't realise then I was pedalling pornography


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## Hoagy (16 Nov 2007)

Not his fault at all.
The bloke in the shop told him it was a mountin' bike.


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## shootingstar (16 Nov 2007)

as they say.... "tiz like riding a bike, you never forget".. This fella wont anyway...


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## elefantfresh (16 Nov 2007)

Ah, Shootingstar - welcome back - didnt hear from you in ages.


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## ney001 (16 Nov 2007)

Are you guys yankin my chain!


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## ninsaga (16 Nov 2007)

Did they actually determine the blokes sexual orientation .... you know was it a mens bike or a woman's bike he was being all amorous with?


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## cole (16 Nov 2007)

I'd say he was cycosexual.


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## Hoagy (16 Nov 2007)

It's a disappointment for the green lobby.
According to them cycling produces fewer emissions.


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## z105 (16 Nov 2007)

Keeping this thread freewheeling along   - 

In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street (BBC)

A hundred pounds -  he was definitely walked on by the Judge


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## ClubMan (17 Nov 2007)

Havealaugh said:


> In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street (BBC)


Did he have a shoehorn?


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## z105 (17 Nov 2007)

> Did he have a shoehorn?


 
If he did I'd say he'd need to see a head Doc(tor Marten) !


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## z105 (17 Nov 2007)

God these are getting Corny now


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## ninsaga (17 Nov 2007)

Well - as the saying goes.... if the shoe fits (screw it I forget the rest!)


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## Jock04 (17 Nov 2007)

Havealaugh said:


> In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street (BBC)


 

caught trying to do a runner


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## jasconius (17 Nov 2007)

News from Newmarket; a stable boy has been arrested for having sex with a racehorse. Apparently he had been grooming it for months.


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## Crugers (18 Nov 2007)

Jock04 said:


> Apparently, when the cleaners came in, he...didn't stop


 
I thought that the best advice was that if you come off your bicycle, you should just get straight back on...


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## cole (18 Nov 2007)

Crugers said:


> I thought that the best advice was that if you come off your bicycle, you should just get straight back on...


 
Recycle as it were?


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## ClubMan (20 Nov 2007)

Maybe he was just adjusting the brakes with his tool? Or was it the bell end?


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## Carpenter (20 Nov 2007)

Havealaugh said:


> Keeping this thread freewheeling along  -
> 
> In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street (BBC)


 
Was it a slip-on?


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## Jock04 (20 Nov 2007)

Havealaugh said:


> In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street (BBC)


 

You can only imagine his joy when he heard he had won a holiday in a Sandals resort.


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## shootingstar (20 Nov 2007)

elefantfresh said:


> Ah, Shootingstar - welcome back - didnt hear from you in ages.



just spotted this now.... hey EF yes ive been busy holding down a real job for a change....


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## ClubMan (21 Nov 2007)

shootingstar said:


> ive been busy holding down a real job for a change....


You mean like a _Claud Butler, Trek _or _Cannondale_? Hmmm - frisky!


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## thomsk (21 Nov 2007)

Apparently he's got _*pedal*_phile tendencies with cars....was caught stroking an austin *minor*.....and he's bicyexcycal.....got stuck up the exhaust of a _princess._


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## U2Fan (21 Nov 2007)

Re man having sex with a shoe...Did he have a patent for this? Was there tongues involved?


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## elefantfresh (22 Nov 2007)

Heel be in trouble now for sure. Maybe his drink was laced?


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## Jock04 (22 Nov 2007)

Some people get very excited at the sight of a strap-on


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## shootingstar (22 Nov 2007)

ClubMan said:


> You mean like a _Claud Butler, Trek _or _Cannondale_? Hmmm - frisky!



ok thats gone straight over my head...


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## penang (22 Nov 2007)

did he stop ridin' the bike when it got too tired?


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