# Separation finance



## anotherstatistic (26 Sep 2004)

I have 2 kids and my wife and I are seperating. She is the main wage earner and I am the primary carer of the kids. She earns about E52k and I earn about E11.5K. Neither of us want to get solicitors involved. We have recently sold our house and are renting at present.

_If _things turned nasty, should I get custody of the kids being the primary carer?

What would be a fair amount of maintenance?

Should I be able to keep all of the sale proceeds and use my wife's income to secure a mortgage on a new property?


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## terrysgirl33 (26 Sep 2004)

*seperation*

I'm not sure of the details, but the is an organisation that deals with mediating situations such as yours.  

If you take the equity in the house and maintanence, what will your wife live on?


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## sluice44 (27 Sep 2004)

*Re: seperation*

I'm not trying to start a fight but there seems to be a fair amount of ancedotal evidence that men are disadvantaged in the courts when seeking custody of their children.  BTW, cases are held _in camera_.

You _should_ think about consulting a solicitor, if for no other reason than securing an adequate pension for yourself.  

Your family is going through a major change in your lives and you may not be emotionally able to think about your future.  It may cost a lot but I think it's important to have an impartial expert (solicitor) in your corner advising you on _your_ future.

Sluice


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## terrysgirl33 (27 Sep 2004)

*income*

AFAIK, you are entitled to half the proceeds of the sale of your house and any mortgage you get will be based on your income, which will include the maintainence from your wife.  I don't think the banks will take her income into account unless her name is on the deeds of the house.

I would suggest you get professional advice however.


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## sally (27 Sep 2004)

You do need good independent professional advice. 
Every separating couple is different. Factors that need to be taken account of:
1. Ages and any special needs of children - custody is for childrens best interests.
2. Both parents occupations and long term prospects  and earning capacity. 
3. Where will both parents live? How is this to be funded?
4. Will both parents  be able to arrange access so that it works?   
Finance is a huge part of the separation process but there has to be flexibility and long term thought put into it because circumstances change and kids grow up very quickly. 

Do get advice on your own specific circumstances. 

sally


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## mo3art (1 Oct 2004)

The maximum amount that can be set by the District Courts at the moment for Child Maintenance is €150 per child per week.

Your best bet for a very good calculation tool for costs is www.solo.ie - There is plenty of other information there.

As the primary carer and the lower earner in the family, it would stand to reason that you would be the custodian of your children.  HOWEVER you are the father and not the mother and I'm sorry to say that if things did turn nasty and you did end up in court the likelihood that you would be awarded custody of your children would be in doubt unless your ex wife were to agree to it.

For further information and people who've been there, done that and bought the t-shirt, check out the single parents and separated and divorce discussion boards on www.rollercoaster.ie

HTH

MO


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## mags (5 Oct 2004)

*separating*

If both of you agree to it, I would recommend the family mediation service referenced in the second post above as an alternative to the legal route - you stand a much better chance of working things out amicably - which is in everyone's best interest.  The service is free so the available family resources will not have to be spent on legal advice.


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## Lassie (3 Feb 2006)

*Re: Seperation finance*

I have been through the family mediation service and would definetly recommend it, saves lining solicitors pockets


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