# Husband died- now inlaws have turned funny



## dillisk (13 Mar 2004)

Husband (only child)worked all his life on the family farm,no official wages just cash in hand etc. Was not supposed to get married,was supposed to stay single and look after his elderly father. However he met and married me 5 years ago, we had 3 children,but we stayed near the farm and he continued with the work and caring for his father.
His father had signed a paper that would enable my husband to use the land for the REPS to give our family more income, though the REPS papers had not been signed when my husband died in an accident 5 months ago.
AFAIK, there was nothing of the land and property in my husband's name, I think that it is in his father's name.

So my dilemma-where do I stand? I don't know whether to bring it up or just forget about it all and walk away

Since my husband's death nothing has been mentioned at all. In laws(cousins of my husband) have appeared on the scene to help my FIL with the farm work.
REPS has never been mentioned again,except that I was told by one of the cousins that my FIL is going into the scheme himself.
I feel abandoned-I have been left to sink or swim on a Widow's Pension.
The fact that my husband worked all his life on the farm, was looking after his father, and was bringing up his own family there has been forgotten.

Does anyone know what the position is for my children re any succession rights? I can find a bit about succession rights, but grandchildren are not mentioned.
Thanks, dillisk


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## <A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s (13 Mar 2004)

> Does anyone know what the position is for my children re any succession rights?



Did your husband die intestate or did he leave a will? In relation to assets belonging to your husband's estate the rules below apply. However it sounds like the big issue here is that there are assets that you think should be in your husband's name but are not. I'm not sure what you can do about these other that attempt to negotiate with the family in law and/or obtain legal advice. I presume you ask about the rights of grandchildren in relation to what claims your children might eventually have to your father in law's estate when he dies?


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## ninsaga (13 Mar 2004)

I sympathise with Your situation.

Will or no will, I cannot see how grandchildren can be deprived of their succession rights - irrespective of inlaws getting involved. 

If You want what will be rightfully theirs in time to come then You need to ensure that You seek professional legal advise immediately.

ninsaga


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## dillisk (13 Mar 2004)

0,
Thanks for the reply.
My husband had no will. There is nothing(property) in his name,AFAIK,it is all in his father's name.It was not something that was talked about openly.
What I was able to work out was that the estate was used as a means of control,i.e. do what I want and I will eventually sign it over to you. I do not mean to sound cynical saying this, as I think a lot of the old people use this method as a means of ensuring that they are cared for by family in their old age. There is a great fear around here of being "stuck into the county home"
However, as a widow with 3 young children, I am in no position to "do my duty" and care for my father in law.
I do not want anything for myself. It has already been said to me by some of the inlaws that I will probably get married again,given my age,which hurts me incredibly.

ninsaga, thanks for the reply also,
I am led to believe that my father in law could will his estate to the cat and dog home if he so wishes, and succession rights only apply if he dies intestate. I am sure that the other in laws will not allow this to happen now!

dillisk


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## <A HREF=http://pub145.ezboard.com/baskaboutmoney.s (14 Mar 2004)

As far as I can see you would be best advised to consult a solicitor about this if at all possible. If you can't afford on then try your local Citizen's Information Centre. Once you have a clearer idea of your statutory and possible non statutory rights and the possible ways to proceed you can decide what to do.


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## Vanilla (18 Mar 2004)

I meant to reply to this the other day but didnt have time.  As a solicitor, I would advise you to immediately seek legal advice. It sounds to me as if your husband worked on the family farm with the legitimate expectation that the farm would be his one day. If this is the case then you and your family do have rights and you should safeguard them immediately. Unfortunately if your in-laws dont agree, you may be facing threatening a court action- but be assured, many of these things ultimately settle out of court. I'm sorry to hear of your situation, and I know right now the last thing you want is any hassle, but please do seek legal advice and get a solicitor working on your behalf.


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## dillisk (18 Mar 2004)

0,thank you for the reply, you are right in what you say.

Vanilla, thank you also for the reply,I have sent you a PM.

Dillisk


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## farmer joe (26 Jul 2004)

*husband died - now inlaws have turned funny*

Sorry to hear about your husband but I just want to offer you a piece of advise about your children.  I lost my brother some years ago, he had young children, his wife remarried shortly after his death and the children were used by her.  She forbade them from seeing us even though we did not have a falling out as such.  She just remarried and thought we should accept her new husband and ask him to our family functions otherwise our nieces and nephews could not attend.  I know this is an early stage of grief for you but I would not like children to be used as my nieces and nephews have, so if they have always been in constant contact with their grandfather please let this contact continue and let their grandfather know that his son has not been forgotten.  My brother was also involved in the family business but under different circumstances.  The land was given to him (he also received wages) before he married but my father then bought it back after he died from his wife, she wanted to sell it but not to my father, so he offered more than anyone else, money talks.  So I can see from both aspects.


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