# the things kids say...



## Betsy Og (28 Jun 2011)

My 2 1/2 year old says yesterday evening, at the 2nd attempt, "there's a hole in my sock", his first attempt was, shall we say, a mix up of words.... to raised eyebrows......


----------



## Firefly (28 Jun 2011)

My 2 1/2 year old said her first sentence last week. "Dada's photos are back" I let her browse our family photos on my phone. Only for short periods of time now though as she has now started surfing the net and even starting to text people


----------



## Mpsox (28 Jun 2011)

My 4 yr old was in a cafe with her Nana at the weekend, the waitress asked her age and was asking the kinds of questions you ask 4 yr olds, little un  said with a big sigh, "I'm 4". As the waitress walked away she goes, "and I'm really hungry"!!

My favourite one from her was "I can't stand still and be quiet, the noise just wants to come out my legs"


----------



## thedaras (28 Jun 2011)

One of my kids ,when learning to read by breaking down words,tried to break down the word "Pedestrian" and came out with ped-is-train-ian.

And once when in a hospital A and E,there was an image of a baby outside the xray room,the baby was shown attached to an umbilical cord,and my child asked,why is that baby hanging from a tree!


----------



## DB74 (28 Jun 2011)

When my young lad was about 3 he says to me one day

"Daddy, look at my willie, it's too big"

To which I replied

"No it's fine, it's a good size"

and he comes out with this

"It IS too big, I wish it was small ... like yours!"

I had to give him a stern lecture about not telling lies!


----------



## salaried (29 Jun 2011)

A friend of mine works in a local pub and works the day shift, Her young son started school and her mother, The childs grandmother always collected him from school, When my friend unexpectedly turned up to collect him one day he shouted, Mam what are you doing here, You are always in the pub everyday, She said everyone heard him but could not explain what he meant to all the other parents so made a beeline for the gate.


----------



## JP1234 (29 Jun 2011)

My son was 2 when Toy Story came out. He couldn't get his mouth round shouting "to infinity and beyond", it came out as "Old Man Sidney and bong" 

He also decided olives were actually called go-goes, which they are still known as to this day.


----------



## truthseeker (29 Jun 2011)

When I was a child we had spent some of a sunday in the pub with our parents (it was some event, a christening party or something). Next day in school the teacher asked 'who didnt go to mass yesterday' - I put my hand up and proudly announced 'We couldnt go, we were in the pub'.


----------



## Ceepee (29 Jun 2011)

DD ran into the restaurant of White's Hotel in Wexford (where we were staying) and announced 'Dad! Daaaad!  I went to the toilet!  I did five bits!'


----------



## Ancutza (30 Jun 2011)

My wife was on the bus with our then 4 year-old nephew in her arms who loudly announced to the unfortunate gentleman standing beside them, with a large port wine birthmark on his face, "My God you're UGLY!! What did you do to your face!?"  CRINGE!!!!!!!!!


----------



## michaelm (30 Jun 2011)

My kids tend to ask, aloud, things like "why is that man so fat?".  My father announced at a family party that he was thinking of getting a "lady-boy";  I had to explain that such wasn't a reclining chair.


----------



## Vanilla (30 Jun 2011)

A few months ago, one saturday morning my husband appeared in the kitchen, in his pjs, unshaven and hair on end. My five year old took a look at him and piped up very seriously-

 'Daddy, you look smelly.'

Nearly fell off the chair laughing. But yeah, he did.


----------



## Sim Two (30 Jun 2011)

Heard on a radio station during the week that the 4 year old daughter of one lady who texted in loves Rihanna and knows the lyrics to the hit "S & M".

Except when singing the bit that should be " ... and chains and whips excite me" the 4 year old sings " .... and trains and ships excite me".

Classic


----------



## Betsy Og (30 Jun 2011)

Sim Two said:


> Heard on a radio station during the week that the 4 year old daughter of one lady who texted in loves Rihanna and knows the lyrics to the hit "S & M".
> 
> Except when singing the bit that should be " ... and chains and whips excite me" the 4 year old sings " .... and trains and ships excite me".
> 
> Classic


 
I've a 5 year old boy sings along to that song, cant quite remember if he has the correct lyrics but I've decided not to make a point of it (or it'll never be forgotten). As a parent you've to accept inevitable blame for messing up your kids so just add it to the list I say.....


----------



## LDFerguson (1 Jul 2011)

Mrs F has a sister with a taste for the finer things in life.  So when our daughter was around 2 or 3 she got a Ralph Lauren dress as a present from the said auntie.  Coming in from outside after an altercation, we were highly amused to hear our 2 or 3 year old utter the now immortal words "He pulled my Ralph Lauren dress so I hit him."

Cue many utterances along the lines of "Tis far from Ralph Lauren dresses we were reared.  When I were a lad...blah blah...Angela's Ashes...school through the fields etc."


----------



## Liamos (1 Jul 2011)

On numerous occassions when in the swimming changing rooms with my 4 and 5 year old boys, they will point at other men and say things like "Daddy, look at his big belly", or worse still "Daddy, he's got a big willy!".


----------



## Complainer (1 Jul 2011)

"What's that smell, Dad. Maybe that man there" pointing the man right beside me in the shop.


----------



## Vanilla (1 Jul 2011)

Complainer said:


> "What's that smell, Dad. Maybe that man there" pointing the man right beside me in the shop.


 
LOL. You've got to love kids.

Our five year old, in an elevator, up in her father's arms and appropos of nothing pointed to the other man in the elevator and said to him-'My Daddy's bigger than you.' God knows why.


----------



## di74 (1 Jul 2011)

My 2 1/2 year old son shouting 'Mammy you have to bring the baby back to the hospital she has no willy' to which I replied 'It's ok, girls don't have willies'. After taking a good look he responded 'Does she just have a big bum?' 
Now he loves to remind everyone that boys and daddies have willies and girls and mammies just have 'really, really big bums'!


----------



## liaconn (4 Jul 2011)

My nephew aged five and myself were making a cake for his mother for mother's day. It didn't come out looking too successful. I announced that we'd spell MUM on the cake with smarties and he said gloomily 'we should really be spelling 'sorry' on that cake.


----------



## Ceepee (4 Jul 2011)

When I took my very excited daughter (aged 4) on the DART for the first time, we had a serious discussion about staying in your seat, not bumping into other people, speaking in a quiet voice, and ... explaining why 'seats are not for feet.' 

Almost on cue, a sulk of crater-faced callow teens flopped down beside us and put their enormous trainers up on the seats.

"Mum!   Muuuuuuuummmmmmm!  They've their feeeeeet on the seat!  Tell them they're bold, Mum!"


----------

