# Woman proposing to the man!!!!



## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

I was just wondering what people think of this?
I am usually very traditional when it comes to the man asking the woman all the major things in life...
How would the man feel if he was proposed too?

Has anyone got any experiences good or bad??


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## ClubMan (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> How would the man feel if he was proposed too?


Depends on what she looked like. My wife might have something to say about it though...


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## Caveat (1 May 2008)

I reckon that given the fear of committment that a lot of men seem to have, many women 'proposing' would be maybe as a last resort and not through real choice.

But other than that - why not?


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## pc7 (1 May 2008)

Its such a hard one I don't think I could have done it, I'd have felt he obviously doesn't want to marry me or he'd have asked himself! If he hasn't asked maybe he doesn't want too? Not everyone does. Are you together long? Do you live together? Have you spoken about marriage. I don't know anyone who has done it,


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## pc7 (1 May 2008)

hi angry girl just seen your other post about being together a year and that your happy. Maybe give him the time to ask you  that's just me thou!


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## truthseeker (1 May 2008)

While I think its ok - I wouldnt do it myself 

Could you bring it up in conversation and hint heavily youre waiting for him to ask?


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## car (1 May 2008)

Would you have to ask his mum or his dad for permission?  If it was his mum,  the 2 of you could go out the back and share a cigar during the asking process..


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## efm (1 May 2008)

car said:


> If it was his mum, the 2 of you could go out the back and share a cigar during the asking process..


 
Why does this remind me of Monica Lewinsky?

Back on topic - Angrygirl - you could do what my wife did with me: talk for 6 months about what her ideal proposal would be......."but no pressure loike boiy"


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## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

The traditionalist in me would probably wait and see what happens, i'm in no hurry to get married really i don't know if i'd have the guts to do it, just wondering what the thoughts were on this..
He has asked what would be the most romantic way a man could do this, and when friends have gotten engaged he has asked what i think of the rings etc...
We are living together and talking about a family and stuff...


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## michaelm (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> How would the man feel if he was proposed too?


Not ideal methinks.  Instead of asking him if he will marry you just ask him if he intends to ask you, at some point in the not too distant future, to marry him; if asked in a relaxed manner he should have no problem with it, it'll waken him up a bit.


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## truthseeker (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> He has asked what would be the most romantic way a man could do this, and when friends have gotten engaged he has asked what i think of the rings etc...


 
He is definitely thinking about it!!!!

I went onto Red Alert with my OH when he looked into my jewellery box and asked which rings fitted which fingers, followed by a casual stroll past a jewellers where he asked what style did I like in diamond rings........

2 months later, no proposal, I gradually went moved back down to Code Yellow - we'd even been on a romantic holiday and no proposal - then just as I was thinking he'd only been asking the above casually he surprised me by proposing!!


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## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

He has also said he'd like a baby soon!! he brought up the topic last week and asked me if i wanted to have kids with him and make a life together, of course i do so i said yea def...

In a man's head when is "soon".?. 

I don't want to ask him to put a time frame on it as I would like it to just happen instead of putting loads of pressure on the situation..

(I can't believe i'm bearing all about my life on this thread)

Thanks for all your comments


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## truthseeker (1 May 2008)

Do you have a birthday or anything coming up? A holiday planned? Any kind of event that he could use to propose?

Maybe he is still teasing out the details of how he is going to do it?


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## efm (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> In a man's head when is "soon".?.


 
Ahhhh.....the eternal question: when is "soon" - well it depends on what is coming at the end of "soon".

For items like beer, food, football, sex etc soon is really soon, as in within 60 minutes; anything else can wait


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## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Do you have a birthday or anything coming up? A holiday planned? Any kind of event that he could use to propose?


 
Yea we are going on hol's in July.. to be honest it hadn't even entered my head until he brought it up and now its drivin me mad....


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## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

efm said:


> For items like beer, food, football, sex etc soon is really soon, as in within 60 minutes; anything else can wait


 
Ha ha that is so true...


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## triona (1 May 2008)

Hi Angrygirl,

I was in the same boat as you a couple of years ago. We were going out about 5 or 6 years, had a house etc. I was getting really impatient and wondering when he'd ask as I knew it was on the way. I even found a brochure for engagement rings in a bag after he'd been in town! 
Along came my birthday with a surprise night away in a gorgeous hotel - no ring, then came Christmas - no ring! Then on St. Stephen's day during a walk in the park he proposed. I was never so shocked - even though I knew it was coming up. 
Basically after all that my advice to you is do your best to forget about it. My H2B told me that it was really important to him that he surprised me when he proposed. It's now my favourite memory sitting on a bench in the park in the cold looking scruffy - not how I would have pictured it!

Best of luck! Triona


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## Angrygirl (1 May 2008)

Triona thats so sweet... I was doing fine till he started talking about it and now i cant get it out of my head...I'd love it to be a suprise as well so advice taken...I'm gonna stop thinking about it(yea right) and just enjoy being happy 

Thanks


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## truthseeker (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl, enjoy the anticipation while you can - the Buddhists believe that true happiness is in the anticipation of the happy event, not the experience of the event itself - so youre in the happy zone now, enjoy!! 

You'll soon enough be on telling us your romantic proposal story Im sure!


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## addob (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl,

I also reccomend waiting, I went on and on as we'd been togeter for some time, owned a home and all that and then made a New Years resolution not to talk about it anymore. Then when least expected he proposed on Jan 30th, it's worth the wait and the surprise. After the fact I found out he was waiting until he had all the money he needed to buy me a proper ring and not skimp.

Best of luck holding back on asking and trying notto think about it. I was never so surprised!!

ad


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## Sue Ellen (1 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> (I can't believe i'm bearing all about my life on this thread)



Does he read AAM?  Presumably there's no deviousness (get him to hurry up) attached to this thread


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## BlueSpud (1 May 2008)

Think carefully about this. getting married to a woman is the signal that she has her man and she can now mould him into the man she actually wants; lose the bad manners, dress better, drink less, wash etc. For the bloke, all he wants to do is to spend the rest of his life with the woman he married - i.e. for her not to change a bit. Everyone ends up dissapointed.

The end.


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## redstar (1 May 2008)

sueellen said:


> Does he read AAM?  Presumably there's no deviousness (get him to hurry up) attached to this thread



Rightso, we;ll keep a lookout out for any new subscriber to AAM called 'AngryMan'


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## pc7 (1 May 2008)

BlueSpud said:


> Think carefully about this. getting married to a woman is the signal that she has her man and she can now mould him into the man she actually wants; lose the bad manners, dress better, drink less, wash etc. For the bloke, all he wants to do is to spend the rest of his life with the woman he married - i.e. for her not to change a bit. Everyone ends up dissapointed.
> 
> The end.


Ah blue spud that's shocking! iI'm getting married next year it couldn't be that bad! could it!


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## Carpenter (1 May 2008)

Whatever you do don't get involved with that dreadful "Marry Me" crap on RTE at the moment.....


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## ClubMan (2 May 2008)

Carpenter said:


> "Marry Me" crap


I usually just flush mine. Or post it here. I don't think I'd ever get hitched to it though.


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## Angrygirl (2 May 2008)

sueellen said:


> Does he read AAM? Presumably there's no deviousness (get him to hurry up) attached to this thread


 
Ha ha no there's def no deviousness on my part, just after him mentioning it i can't get it outta my head..
Just gonna enjoy what we have at the moment and if and when he asks that all important question i'll enjoy the moment


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## Angrygirl (2 May 2008)

BlueSpud said:


> Think carefully about this. getting married to a woman is the signal that she has her man and she can now mould him into the man she actually wants; lose the bad manners, dress better, drink less, wash etc. For the bloke, all he wants to do is to spend the rest of his life with the woman he married - i.e. for her not to change a bit. Everyone ends up dissapointed.
> 
> The end.


 
Ah BlueSpud you seem to be talking from experience there 
I'd never try and change him, i fell for him warts and all, he has a few faults but sure don't we all, no one is perfect eh....
Life would be pretty dull if we all were


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## Caveat (2 May 2008)

ClubMan said:


> I usually just flush mine. Or post it here. I don't think I'd ever get hitched to it though.


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## michaelm (2 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> I'd never try and change him, i fell for him warts and all, he has a few faults but sure don't we all, no one is perfect eh....


Well that that should work out for you so.  Some brides-to-be think marriage = aisle altar hymn.


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## FredBloggs (2 May 2008)

efm said:


> Ahhhh.....the eternal question: when is "soon" - well it depends on what is coming at the end of "soon".
> 
> For items like beer, food, football, sex etc soon is really soon, as in within 60 minutes; anything else can wait


 

you are wrong.  60 minutes is not soon.  For beer, food, football, sex soon is now!


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## Remix (7 May 2008)

Not related in any way to the OP, but an interesting article on 'modern love' in the NYT.

You get the impression that young women really have come out the worse in matters of 'modern love'.

Things gettin' tricky with messy talk of marraige & babies - time to move on buddy! 

You can just imagine the smirk on the guy's face who says his disregard for monogamy was - wait for it - the ultimate nod to feminism.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/f...int&adxnnlx=1210100485-6WUqxRzIcpE8JPBwGaGSqg


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## foxylady (7 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> Ah BlueSpud you seem to be talking from experience there
> I'd never try and change him, i fell for him warts and all, he has a few faults but sure don't we all, no one is perfect eh....
> Life would be pretty dull if we all were


 

Whats the rush, if ur only together a year. My oh proposed v early into relationship ie 4 months later and almost ten years on we're still not hitched.


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## Angrygirl (8 May 2008)

Foxylady don't get me wrong i'm not in a hurry at all, he brought up the subject and i just can't stop thinking bout it ever since..
I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind and just enjoy what we have right now and if things happen down the line great.. .


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## foxylady (8 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> Foxylady don't get me wrong i'm not in a hurry at all, he brought up the subject and i just can't stop thinking bout it ever since..
> I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind and just enjoy what we have right now and if things happen down the line great.. .


 
I can understand that all right but from what you say its probably shortly on its way, as men dont just ask these questions out of curiosity. Best of luck and keep us posted when he does do it, meanwhile take up a hobby to occupy your thoughts.


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## redstar (13 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> Foxylady don't get me wrong i'm not in a hurry at all, he brought up the subject and i just can't stop thinking bout it ever since..
> I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind and just enjoy what we have right now and if things happen down the line great.. .



Well Angrygirl, have u proposed yet ? Not pressuring you or anything .....


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## Angrygirl (13 May 2008)

redstar said:


> Well Angrygirl, have u proposed yet ? Not pressuring you or anything .....


 
Ha ha na i'm resisting the temptation and taking everyones advice to let things happen in their own time..


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## DavyJones (13 May 2008)

I wouldn't propose if I were you. If he is not ready, he may run. If he is ready, he'll ask you.


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## truthseeker (13 May 2008)

DavyJones said:


> I wouldn't propose if I were you. If he is not ready, he may run. If he is ready, he'll ask you.


 
Would that same logic not apply in the case of a man proposing to a woman too?


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## DavyJones (13 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Would that same logic not apply in the case of a man proposing to a woman too?


 
True, but am advicing OP on specific question. And I have a feeling Angrygirl is ready,


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## Angrygirl (13 May 2008)

DavyJones said:


> True, but am advicing OP on specific question. And I have a feeling Angrygirl is ready,


 
she might be


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## truthseeker (13 May 2008)

DavyJones said:


> True, but am advicing OP on specific question. And I have a feeling Angrygirl is ready,


 
Well thats very true - I think she may well be ready to take the plunge on this one


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## redstar (13 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> she might be



Aha, now we're getting somewhere !!

Watch this space, er, thread


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## DavyJones (13 May 2008)

A year might be a bit soon though, I always thought that if your meant to be with someone forever why would it matter when you got married. Marry in haste, repent in leisure and all that. For the record I got married a few months ago after about a 5 year, 4 months, 2 weeks and a day long relationship. It was a great day. Only now am starting to understand the enormity of it. there's  plenty of time.


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## truthseeker (13 May 2008)

DavyJones said:


> A year might be a bit soon though, I always thought that if your meant to be with someone forever why would it matter when you got married. Marry in haste, repent in leisure and all that. For the record I got married a few months ago after about a 5 year, 4 months, 2 weeks and a day long relationship. It was a great day. Only now am starting to understand the enormity of it. there's plenty of time.


 
tell us more about the enormity of it please (no dirty jokes!!).
Im planning on doing the deed next year sometime and at that stage will be in the relationship around 5 years.


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## DavyJones (13 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> tell us more about the enormity of it please (no dirty jokes!!).
> Im planning on doing the deed next year sometime and at that stage will be in the relationship around 5 years.


 

Well in my case, when the planning starts ye will, or you will,only concentrate on the day and all it entails. Its a massive commitment and this is something that is forgotten in the hype. Don't get me wrong, I was commited to my wife long before she strangled me with that ring. 

I love my wife very much and am sure she is the one and when you marry your saying thats it, no more chatting up women etc. not that I wounld do that when she was my girlfriend, its more of a mental thing, a closing of a chapter. 

Funny thing is ,due to work we have to live in different parts of the country for a few months and my mates slang me off saying if I knew she'd leave me as soon as I married her, I'd have married her years ago, mates eh?!


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## pc7 (14 May 2008)

DavyJones said:


> Its a massive commitment


Have to agree with you DJ, I'm with oh 12 years, very happily, we're getting married next year. I was away with work recently and it was my first time on my own since getting engaged and it hit me! Jebus! this time next year I'll be a married woman and I found it a bit scary! We always knew we'd get married but it is a big thing! no pun intended!


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## truthseeker (14 May 2008)

Thanks DavyJones - good insight!!!

Im not doing the 'big traditional Irish wedding' myself so the plans for the day are going to be very small (if I could get away with it Id have just myself and himself in the registry office with 2 witnesses and a quiet dinner after, but his immediate family would like to attend )

I like the idea of the mentally closing a chapter - sounds good to me. Thats what you go into it for isnt it? I think some people dont take the moral aspect of what thay are entering into seriously enough, I know a couple who had an enormous wedding, very expensive and less than a year later the marraige was over, neither could see past the big day itself and both indulged in activities better suited to single people (nightclubs at the weekend with workmates) after they married - I think when youre making a committment that big you need to take a look at whats 'appropriate' in the context of being married. Its about showing respect for your partner and for yourself and the institute of marraige that you have both entered into.

Thats my tuppenceworth of the morning anyway


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## Simeon (14 May 2008)

Surely 'flirting' is a form of 'proposal'. Therefore girls (at least the ones that flirt) are on permapropose. I've just been listening to a radio prog where the girl that runs the show came to that conclusion. Something about the new 'sex in the city' show. Sorry in advance if I offend any misandrists.


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## Remix (14 May 2008)

Simeon said:


> Something about the new 'sex in the city' show.


 
Given, shall we say, the maturity of the actresses, I heard this is unofficially called 'sags in the city'.


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## foxylady (14 May 2008)

pc7 said:


> Have to agree with you DJ, I'm with oh 12 years, very happily, we're getting married next year. I was away with work recently and it was my first time on my own since getting engaged and it hit me! Jebus! this time next year I'll be a married woman and I found it a bit scary! We always knew we'd get married but it is a big thing! no pun intended!


 
Am glad to hear am not the only person with oh for yonks before getting hitched am with oh for almost ten years, but engaged for nine of them and absolutely fed up with people asking when the big day is. It is more than likely going to be next year but we have to decide what type of weddin we would both like, as am not the really the frills and thrills kinda gal.


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## truthseeker (14 May 2008)

foxylady said:


> ....as am not the really the frills and thrills kinda gal.


 
Surely the thrills!!!! Maybe not the frills though


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## foxylady (15 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Surely the thrills!!!! Maybe not the frills though


 
Well maybe the of the wedding night variety.!


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## foxylady (28 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> I was just wondering what people think of this?
> I am usually very traditional when it comes to the man asking the woman all the major things in life...
> How would the man feel if he was proposed too?
> 
> Has anyone got any experiences good or bad??


 
Any news for us??


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## Angrygirl (29 May 2008)

foxylady said:


> Any news for us??


 
Nope all quiet :L
Oh i'll be sure to let you all know if anything does happen

He was talking the other night about friends of ours that are getting married in the Maldives (SP) he asked what i thought of that idea 

Ah he'll keep me waiting


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## Brianne (29 May 2008)

I've been reading this post with interest.Being the original feminist of the seventies, I have to say it is eyeopening. Is this what it was about?
I think that any woman who is a relationship , with someone whom she loves , and who appears to love her, is perfectly entitled to propose if she wants to get married.
The answer will clarify things, one way or the other. It will at least provoke discussion and clear the air. Hanging around for someone to propose to me and trying to read their minds re their intentions would not be for me.
AnD to be honest the OP got her chance when talk of having children came up , the answer would be , yes , if I was married.  Women and men have  both benefited from feminism but the legal protection of marriage is still worth having if one is considering children from both parents viewpoint.
So,best of luck , but remember your own worth.


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## foxylady (29 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> Nope all quiet :L
> Oh i'll be sure to let you all know if anything does happen
> 
> He was talking the other night about friends of ours that are getting married in the Maldives (SP) he asked what i thought of that idea
> ...


 
Sounds like he is deffo going to ask so.


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## rmelly (29 May 2008)

foxylady said:


> Sounds like he is deffo going to ask so.


 
No, he could just be sadistic. He knows she is expecting him to ask, he isn't asking, he's having a laugh.


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## truthseeker (29 May 2008)

Angrygirl said:


> Nope all quiet :L
> Oh i'll be sure to let you all know if anything does happen
> 
> He was talking the other night about friends of ours that are getting married in the Maldives (SP) he asked what i thought of that idea
> ...


 
its definitely coming soon!!! he is either saving for the Rock or building up the nerve!!!


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## rmelly (29 May 2008)

truthseeker said:


> its definitely coming soon!!! he is either saving for the Rock or building up the nerve!!!


 
or preparing to do a runner


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## foxylady (29 May 2008)

rmelly said:


> or preparing to do a runner


 

From your comments you are either a bloke or a very bitter lady


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## rmelly (29 May 2008)

foxylady said:


> From your comments you are either a bloke or a very bitter lady


 
a bloke, so probably better able to judge the situation...


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## foxylady (29 May 2008)

rmelly said:


> a bloke, so probably better able to judge the situation...


 


Miaow


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## truthseeker (29 May 2008)

foxylady said:


> Miaow


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## redstar (30 May 2008)

Hey, Angrygirl, this should 'encourage' you to 'do the right thing'.

During the half-time break in the Ireland Vs Colombia match, a couple went out into the centre circle and, in front of 18,000 people, the woman proposed. He accepted !!.


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## Angrygirl (9 Jun 2008)

redstar said:


> Hey, Angrygirl, this should 'encourage' you to 'do the right thing'.
> 
> During the half-time break in the Ireland Vs Colombia match, a couple went out into the centre circle and, in front of 18,000 people, the woman proposed. He accepted !!.


 
We were watching that and i said to him god i'm mortified for her.. and he was like how come, i started laughin and said imagine he said no infront of all them people, he was like yea i suppose but when its left to the man they have to take that risk and the woman could say no..I just replied by sayin yea thats true but i think the man would know if the woman was ready tho cause generally the woman is ready before the man, he said yea thats true i suppose but there's nothin wrong with the woman doin it either, he also mentioned that he doesn't like long engagements and when he gets engaged he'd like to be married within the year!!!....

Mmmmm, i realised watching the woman doing it that it really isn't me at all, i'd like to be suprised and not worrying that i am pushing him into something he doesn't want..  

We are getting a puppy this weekend, so thats commitement enough for me right now, we are happy together and thats the main thing, why rock the boat eh


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## ailbhe (9 Jun 2008)

My OH doesn't really want to get married. I do. Not enough for it to cause problems in our relationship but I do live in hope. When the leap year rolled around this year he asked me was I going to propose. I asked what he would say if I did and he said he would say yes. I still didn't propose though. 
I want him to want to get married and not to do it just to make me happy. So I think it depends on your situation. If your OH has expressed a desire to get married then why not ask him? Although he may be building up to a proposal and you may steal his thunder 

In my case I wouldn't ask as explained above. I know he is committed to me. We are together 6 years,  have our home, jointly owned, a child and are discussing having another. As someone said above marraige is just moving on to another chapter. I hope to do it someday (especially in terms of our child and potential children) but I don't feel there is a big difference between being married and being in a long term committed relationship. Although I am starting to feel too old to be introduced as his "girlfriend". We don't like the term "partner" so I am usually introduced as his "better half". Someone needs to come up with a better descriptive as when I speak about my partner I have been asked on occasion "and what does he or she do?". Very PC


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