# "New Dads Bootcamp" for first time day who never changed a nappy, fed a baby etc?



## portboy (31 Oct 2007)

Anyone know of a 'New Dads BootCamp' type thing in Ireland that I could go to. Wife is pregnant with our first child and I have never changed a nappy, fed a baby etc and figure I'm going to have to know pretty soon. I know they do weekend stuff like this in the States but was wondering if anyone knew of anything like that here ?


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## z109 (31 Oct 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

You can go along to the maternity classes. There are a couple in the series that cover that sort of thing (one for dealing with baby & another for the birth thing).

This might also help.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, though, as you will work it out as you go along. If stuff falls out of the nappy, it's probably on too loosely. If baby is sick when you're winding, you might be a teeny bit too vigorous, or let in too much air while feeding, or not winded properly at the half-way stage or any one of a million things (including not having breasts) that will upset a baby. (Basically, you won't know it all, so your best bet is to make it up as you go along!). Colic is no fun, though. You don't even want to read about it.

PS Best of luck, it's great fun, especially as they get older and start pottering around in the garden with you.


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## ClubMan (31 Oct 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

Maybe you can find some useful info/advice on/from:

www.parentline.ie
www.rollercoaster.ie

Maybe ask your local _Public Health Nurse_ and at the hospital or private ante-natal classes that your wife (and hopefully you too) attend.


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## z109 (31 Oct 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*



ClubMan said:


> Maybe ask your local _Public Health Nurse_ and at the hospital or private ante-natal classes that your wife (and hopefully you too) attend.


Ooh, steer clear of any public health nurse that has:
- a bicycle
- a bun
- sturdy sandals
- a booming voice that terrifies babies
(*thinks to self, that should cover them all*).
(Two children, two bad experiences with public nurses).


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## ClubMan (31 Oct 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

Ours was/is great and matches none of your criteria above - my wife bumped into her today and, as ever, she was very helpful, supportive and accommodating (and the nipper is two now so maybe technically not any responsibility of the nurse's?):

Health Centre/Public Health Nurse - good experience


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## SarahMc (31 Oct 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

There is a bootcamp of sorts after baby is born, they teach you and mammy how to feed, change and bathe a baby in the maternity hospital before letting you loose at home. 

As yoganmahew says, babies are not made of porcelain, it is not rocket science, and it is incredibly instinctive.  Grannies, if available, are the best boot camp going!


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## z109 (1 Nov 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*



SarahMc said:


> Grannies, if available, are the best boot camp going!


Just avoid the raw egg or nip of brandy in the bottle!


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## Paulone (1 Nov 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

I've been reading the two or three pregnancy books that we got when my missus got pregnant - they have sections which deal with the child's first weeks which seem pretty good.

I agree with the point that its not rocket science - there were v.young children at home when I was a teenager, so saw it close up - however the crying and needy baby thing is a bit scary...  it runs in both our families.

What really scares me is those 'supernanny' programmes and columns in the newspapers, where these wilful, out-of-control children are shown doing terrible things to their parents and siblings...


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## ClubMan (1 Nov 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*

This range of books isn't bad in my opinion:

http://www.whattoexpect.com/


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## 3dolls (3 Nov 2007)

Highly recommend 'Babies!' by Dr Christopher Green - SIL gave it to Mr 3Dolls when #1 was on the way. He laughed out loud and read it cover to cover. Very practical and down-to-earth, even if u don't agree 100% with him. He also wrote 'Toddler Taming' and 'Beyond Toddlerdom' and we still dip into them from time to time.


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## Vanilla (4 Nov 2007)

No harm in reading a book but nothing beats hands on experience. Our prenatal classes were all about the birth, nothing about afterwards. But in the hospital the nurses will teach you all you need to know after your baby is born, from changing nappies, to making up bottles or breastfeeding and giving a bath etc. I remember well how terrified I was when handed my first in case I was expected to know what to do! All you need to do is ask for help.


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## RainyDay (4 Nov 2007)

Why not offer to mind a friend/family baby for an hour/day/weekend to get yourself up & running with some real practice? Maybe make sure you have appropriate expert support available to you in case of problems.


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## aircobra19 (4 Nov 2007)

portboy said:


> Anyone know of a 'New Dads BootCamp' type thing in Ireland that I could go to. Wife is pregnant with our first child and I have never changed a nappy, fed a baby etc and figure I'm going to have to know pretty soon. I know they do weekend stuff like this in the States but was wondering if anyone knew of anything like that here ?



Never heard of it here but not a bad idea. You'll have everyone giving you advice anyway, so there'll be no shortage of advice. The nurses in the hospital will show you the basics. After a little while you'll realise that every baby is different and a lot of what you hear won't apply to your baby. You'll quickly learn your own baby traits and habits. I guess that just nature.


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## moneygrower (4 Nov 2007)

Don't fret too much, you'll be amazed at how crazy you are about the baby and that's what he/she really needs, the nappies etc is very basic it's the fact that it never ends and you'll lack sleep in the begining that makes it hard.


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## z109 (5 Nov 2007)

moneygrower said:


> Don't fret too much, you'll be amazed at how crazy you are about the baby and that's what he/she really needs, the nappies etc is very basic it's the fact that it never ends and you'll lack sleep in the begining that makes it hard.


Yeah, if you want to practise before the baby arrives:
- Stay awake all weekend.
- Go to work on Monday and see how much you get done!

- Find a field and dig your fingernails in a cowpat.
- Try getting it out without using your teeth!

- Trace a parabola from the baby changing table to the floor. Now wee on it. At least once your baby will catch you before you have the nappy on and will wee in that spot. You might as well ruin the carpet first. They can wee quite far. Girls can wee further than boys (who tend to wee straight up (i.e. on top of themselves)). Never stand downwind (in the firing line) of a baby while changing it!

It's great fun, so try and treat all the little disasters as such. The baby will pick up how you feel about things so if you stay relaxed and happy, they will tend to.


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## aircobra19 (5 Nov 2007)

yoganmahew said:


> Yeah, if you want to practise before the baby arrives:
> - Stay awake all weekend.
> - Go to work on Monday and see how much you get done!...



So true. Lack of sleep is the no1 problem. 

Put the new nappy under the old one before you take it off. Babies wait for that window when you're between nappies to go. This way the gap is much shorter. Saved us most of the time.


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## jrewing (5 Nov 2007)

*Re: New Dads bootcamp*



ClubMan said:


> This range of books isn't bad in my opinion:
> 
> http://www.whattoexpect.com/


 
I agree, this was Mrs Ewing's bible when pregnant, and she now uses the book "First Year" book. I even have a look meself every now and then...!


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## cruchan09 (9 Nov 2007)

There are only two things every new dad needs to know.

1. The picture on the nappy goes to the front
2. Stretch the clothes and not the baby

Worked for me...


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## Bronte (9 Nov 2007)

If I was you Portboy I'd just do everything your wife asks you to do exactly as she asks you to do it in relation to the baby and you won't go wrong. 

Yoganamahew - I assume you're referring to the cowpat under the nails?  How about a nailbrush? Or wear plastic gloves when changing nappies  In my opinion changing nappies is a breeze, it's the lack of sleep I hated.


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## z109 (9 Nov 2007)

Bronte said:


> How about a nailbrush? Or wear plastic gloves when changing nappies  In my opinion changing nappies is a breeze, it's the lack of sleep I hated.


Really? You'd disinfect you nailbrush with milton?

The worst thing about the lack of sleep is that you won't catch up until your children are teenagers and keep on a lie-in at the weekend - and even then, they'll probably keep you awake at night!


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## Thrifty1 (9 Nov 2007)

cruchan09 said:


> There are only two things every new dad needs to know.
> 
> 1. The picture on the nappy goes to the front
> 2. Stretch the clothes and not the baby
> ...


 
  Very funny.


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## Bronte (12 Nov 2007)

" Really? You'd disinfect you nailbrush with milton?  "

Don't get this?  But I've never used Milton.


" The worst thing about the lack of sleep is that you won't catch up until your children are teenagers and keep on a lie-in at the weekend - and even then, they'll probably keep you awake at night! "

I've a solution for this, I'm also going to stay up all night partying with them when they are teenagers to make up for what I'm missing now.  My current solution is to try and go to bed not long after them.     Managed to wake up 'naturally' at 8 am this weekend - before the kids, yippedydoda !!!


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## BlueSpud (12 Nov 2007)

portboy said:


> Anyone know of a 'New Dads BootCamp' type thing in Ireland that I could go to. Wife is pregnant with our first child and I have never changed a nappy, fed a baby etc and figure I'm going to have to know pretty soon. I know they do weekend stuff like this in the States but was wondering if anyone knew of anything like that here ?


 
Sure won't your wife take care of all of that malarkey.


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## RainyDay (13 Nov 2007)

_I just received this email titled 'Are you ready to have kids' which contains some useful advice for the OP. I particularly like the 'goats in the supermarket' one.
_

*Test 1
*
Women: To prepare for maternity,  put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 10% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for paternity, go to local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to its head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

*Test 2
*Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

*Test 3
*To discover how the nights will feel:
1.	Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.	At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3.	Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4.	Set the alarm for 3am.
5.	As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6.	Go to bed at 2.45am.
7.	Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8.	Sing songs in the dark until 4 am.
9.	Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10.	Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

*Test 4
*Dressing small children is not as easy at it seems.
1.	Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2.	Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.

*Test 5
*Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon. And don't think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family Cars don't look like that.
1.	Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2.	Get a coin. Insert it in the cassette player.
3.	Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits, mash them into the back seat.
4.	Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. . perfect!

*Test 6
*Get ready to go out.
1.	Wait.
2.	Go out the front door.
3.	Come in again.
4.	Go out.
5.	Come back in.
6.	Go out again.
7.	Walk down the front path/driveway.
8.	Walk back up it.
9.	Walk down it again.
10.	Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11.	Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12.	Retrace your steps.
13.	Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14.	Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

*Test 7
*Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

*Test 8
*Go the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

*Test 9
*
1.	Hollow out a melon and then make a small hole in the side.
2.	Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
3.	Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an aeroplane.
4.	Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
5.	Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old child.

*Test 10
*Learn the names of every character from the Fimbles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.



*Test 11
*Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

*Test 12
*Make a recording of Janet Street-Porter shouting "Mummy" repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each "Mummy " – occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

*Test 13
*Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the "Mummy" tape made from Test 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

*Test 14
*Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now:
1.	Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
2.	Stir.
3.	Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.
4.	Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel.
5.	Do NOT change. You have no time.
6.	Go directly to work.

*Test 15
*Go for a drive, but first:
1.	Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls.
2.	Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car.
3.	Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car.
4.	While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat.
5.	For the really adventurous, run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.

You are now ready to have kids.


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## Bronte (15 Nov 2007)

Rainyday I'm laughing out loud here.  Very very good post.  Today I did not blow a fuse when going up the stairs with my breakfast (half a piece of toast and a much needed delicious cup of tea) with the six year old in front of me whinging about the way her cardigan sleeve was folded by her dad turned around dramatically and knocked the tea all over me and the stairs ............  These days I'm gratefull that a) she didn't get the baby with the tea, b) I don't dress until everything is done first c) it's only tea d) and posts like this to make me grateful that mine don't do ALL of that.


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