# Some important facts to know about Paul O'Connell



## IrishGunner (22 Apr 2009)

•  Paul O Connell can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store  without instructions   or an alarm key.

•         When Paul O Connell was a child, he made his mother finish his  vegetables.

•         If you wake up in the morning, it's because Paul O Connell spared your  life.

•         Paul O Connell won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. 

•         What color is Paul O Connell's blood? Trick question. Paul O Connell does not bleed.

•         Paul O Connell once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the  next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the  keys.

•         When Paul stares into the sun, the sun flinches

•         If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken,  but Paul O Connell says its beef. Then it's beef.

•         James Bond has a license to kill. Paul O Connell don't need any  licenses.

•         Paul O Connell's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no  one fools Paul O Connell. 

 •         Paul O Connell played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

•         Paul O Connell once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

•         You can lead a horse to water. Paul O Connell can make him drink.

•         Paul O Connell once ate an entire bottle of sleeping XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. They made  him blink.

•         Simon Says should be renamed to Paul O Connell Says because if Paul O  Connell says something then you better do it.  

•         Killing Paul O Connell doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.  

•         When Google can't find something, it asks Paul O Connell for help.  

•         There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Paul O Connell way. It's  basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

•         When Paul O Connell watches a pot, it boils immediately.

•         Paul O Connell once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball  point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."

•         When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Paul O Connell.  

•         People with amnesia still remember Paul O Connell


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## baldyman27 (22 Apr 2009)

Superman wears Paul O Connell pyjamas.


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## Smashbox (22 Apr 2009)

Whats an alarm key?


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## RMCF (22 Apr 2009)

Chuck Norris called, and he's angry


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## Lex Foutish (22 Apr 2009)

Wasn't O' Connell Street in Limerick named after him about a hundred years ago?


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## Homer (22 Apr 2009)

Q:  Why does Paul O'Connell sleep with the light on?

A:  Because the dark is afraid of him.


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## thedaras (22 Apr 2009)

And on the seventh day Paul O'Connell rested....


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## mathepac (22 Apr 2009)

Paul O'Connell doesn't do push-ups, the earth cowers in fear.


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## Marion (22 Apr 2009)

Paul O Connell doesn't do dreams - he's a nighmare for the opposition.

Marion

Ps: He's also very good looking


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## thedaras (22 Apr 2009)

Carlsberg dont do rugby players ...but if they did......


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## baldyman27 (23 Apr 2009)

This seems to be a pro-POC thread. As a Munster man, I'm delighted he got the nod but disappointed for BOC. Its a pity he didn't get to realise his Lion's potential, a superb player. Can we call time on Munster/Leinster rivalries and acknowledge a great leader. I'm so proud that it's an Irishman and not that twat of a Ryan Jones. (pleeeeeease no Welsh posters....)


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## mathepac (23 Apr 2009)

Marion said:


> ... Ps: He's also very good looking


Yeah, when people see us together they comment on the family resemblence. But as a cousin remarked last week, as Paul is only half my age he has time to improve, as a player and in the looks department.


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## MrMan (23 Apr 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> *This seems to be a pro-POC thread.* As a Munster man, I'm delighted he got the nod but disappointed for BOC. Its a pity he didn't get to realise his Lion's potential, a superb player. Can we call time on Munster/Leinster rivalries and acknowledge a great leader. I'm so proud that it's an Irishman and not that twat of a Ryan Jones. (pleeeeeease no Welsh posters....)


 
Where did you get that idea, now keep your Drico love in to another thread!


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## baldyman27 (23 Apr 2009)

MrMan said:


> Where did you get that idea, now keep your Drico love in to another thread!


 
That was after a few beers last night. I'm ashamed of myself.


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## Teatime (23 Apr 2009)

South Africa: Expect O'Connell and His Divided Tourists to Fail

20 April 2009

Johannesburg —. IRELAND's Paul O'Connell came to SA with a big reputation in 2004. As did his team.

They were the best of the home unions and they talked one heck of a game. O'Connell, according to the northern hemisphere's print cheerleaders, was the best lock in the world.

Then came the first Test in Bloemfontein and the small matter of Bakkies Botha. The Irish got smashed and O'Connell, ever since, has always been more of a pretender than a prince. He may be an icon at Munster and he may inspire in an Irish jumper when playing in Dublin. But away from home he has never been dominant and nothing will change when he again confronts the likes of Botha and Victor Matfield.

The South African duo has always publicly given O'Connell the necessary praise, but privately they know they've got his number.

O'Connell is expected to be named captain of the British and Irish Lions tomorrow afternoon, which should tell you all you need to know about the outcome of the three-Test series.

O'Connell's biggest challenge, though, won't be Botha and Matfield. It will be convincing Welsh players likely to make the Test XV that he is better than the Welsh locks not making the team.

The intrigue of any Lions tour is how quickly, if at all, the four home unions become a unified entity. In the amateur era the dominant home union would make up the bulk of the Lions first-choice XV, but Graham Henry and Clive Woodward, as professional coaches of the Lions in Australia and in New Zealand, tried to judge players on their ability alone and mould a team, regardless of familiarity and nationality. It was a disaster.

Veteran Lions coach Ian McGeechan won't be as naïve, but McGeechan also knows it is not as simple as looking to a dominant home nation and picking the core of that side because in the recent Six Nations there wasn't such a thing as one side being obviously better than the other. Ireland won the competition but were a kick away from being beaten by Wales.

McGeechan's best side is expected to come primarily from Irish and Welsh players, and finding the right balance could prove more daunting than any opposition game plan.

Firstly, McGeechan's assistant coaches are the Welsh coaching trio of Warren Gatland, Shaun Edwards and Rob Howley. Gatland, a Kiwi, also coached Ireland in the late 1990s, so you would think it would be an ideal situation. But it isn't because Gatland, in the build-up to the Six Nations decider between Wales and Ireland, said Ireland did not have what it takes in big pressure moments. He also said the Welsh players hated the Irish more than any other and he had a few more unflattering things to say of the Irish, based on his own experience in Dublin. He later defended his comments as gamesmanship, but the Irish boys aren't that gullible.

Now Gatland, with his Lions cap on, must convince everyone O'Connell and the other Irish players have what it takes to win in SA. Gatland must also trust an Irish captain to win those big pressure moments and an Irish captain must trust a Welsh coach he knows doesn't believe he has the bottle.

As you can see, it is complicated even before it begins, as this is a squad made up of different ideas, different accents and different cultures. What bonds these players is rugby, but the bond of rugby is never as strong as the tribal bond of nationality.

McGeechan already has annoyed Irish followers by referring to the touring squad as being from the British Isles. This is supposedly a tour of the British and Irish Lions, and if form were the rider in selection then a more accurate description of the squad would be the Irish and British Lions.


Any Lions tour is as much a political gathering as it is a sporting get-together. Politically, this is a squad divided by nationality and this division will be exacerbated by the choice of a captain who is not a supreme being.

O'Connell may be revered in Munster, but in this country's he is just another big name who failed. He knows it. So does Gatland. And both know the other knows it. Expect a similar failure again from O'Connell and his divided tourists.

Keohane is chief operating officer of Highbury Safika Media and the South African Breweries Sports Journalist of the Year


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## MrMan (23 Apr 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> That was after a few beers last night. I'm ashamed of myself.


 
that Dutch Gold has some kick in it alright.


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## MrMan (23 Apr 2009)

Interesting article Teatime and I guess only time will tell if it stands correct. It would have been even more interesting if it gave a little insight into how the SA public view their own team especially with World Cup winning coach Jake White getting the boot and his new incumbant not exactly dazzling the natives. It looked a little like propaganda to get under the nerves of the Lions rather than a balanced piece and could serve as great motivation if put to the 'tourists'.


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## Purple (23 Apr 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> That was after a few beers last night. I'm ashamed of myself.


 Yes, a few pints and you dropped your chip.


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## baldyman27 (23 Apr 2009)

MrMan said:


> that Dutch Gold has some kick in it alright.


 


Purple said:


> Yes, a few pints and you dropped your chip.


 
Alright, alright. Leave me alone. Tender enough as it is.


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## Purple (23 Apr 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> Alright, alright. Leave me alone. Tender enough as it is.



I was talking about the one all Cork man carry around on their shoulder


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## baldyman27 (23 Apr 2009)

Purple said:


> I was talking about the one all Cork man carry around on their shoulder


 
Nope, that's double-stitched on to my shoulder.

Anyone hear the Gift Grub today? Very funny.


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## DavyJones (23 Apr 2009)

[broken link removed]

Gift Munster, very good.


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## Purple (23 Apr 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> Nope, that's double-stitched on to my shoulder.



LOL 
You're right too, aure what else do you lot have?


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## baldyman27 (24 Apr 2009)

Purple said:


> LOL
> You're right too, aure what else do you lot have?


 
Humility, can't you tell?


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## Yorrick (25 Apr 2009)

And on the sixth day Paul O Connell shouted " stop stop stop you're doing it all wrong"


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