# Mother Stark Raving Mad



## chippy (25 Sep 2007)

My mother is looking for a divorce from my father. My mother left the family home of her own accord over 25 years ago. There was no legal separation but my father has been paying her an agreed monthly maintenance during this time.

Recently my mother sent my father a Solicitors letter demanding a divorce and looking for half of all his assets. The family home consists of a house and 20 acres. Since they have lived apart my father purchased a farm of 80 acres and over time constructed 3 houses on this farm which he intended to be left to his children. My mother has refused to talk to my father face to face instead has insisted that they communicate through solicitors only.

Q 1. Does my father have to give my mother a divorce if he does not want to divorce her.

Q 2. What is my mother legally entitled to from my father.

Q 3. My father’s will, leaves the assets to his children does this have any legal standing if our mother proceeds with the divorce.


----------



## efm (25 Sep 2007)

Your father needs to talk to an *experienced *family law solicitor asap.  

The answers to your three questions can really only be given by someone qualified and by someone who has all the details of the case.


----------



## Thirsty (25 Sep 2007)

Whilst efm is correct,  there is information available online which you can review.

www.citizensinformation.ie, www.rollercoaster.ie and www.revenue.ie for tax information.

I would have to disagree with your title post incidentally; applying for a divorce is hardly an indication of mental instabilty.

However to answer your questions to the best of my knowledge and ability.

Yes your mother is quite entitled to apply for divorce and will be granted one; after 25 years of separation your father is unlikely to succeed in a claim that there is a prospect of reconciliation.

In regards to your 2nd question - that's not going to be easy to answer.  I would suspect that at the very least she will be awarded spousal maintenance (which is being paid already - and is tax deductible for the payer).  In regards to a settlement  on property - the Soltrs letter is just a shot across the bow to open negotiations, if they can't agree on a settlement between them then a judge will have to make a decision.

Divorce documents will generally contain orders to extingush spousal inheritance rights; your father will have to draw up a new will once the divorce is completed.

The one thing I can guarantee is that if this is dragged out through courts etc., both parties will incur substantial legal fees.


----------



## mf1 (25 Sep 2007)

I rather suspect that your mother is not even remotely stark staring mad! 

Rather that she has at last decided to do what they both should have done  long ago and that is formalise their separation. As clearly they have been separated for 25 years the only sensible thing to do is to formalise the relationship by way of a Divorce. 

Answers: 

1. He has no choice if she wants a Divorce. It interests me that lots of people are resistant to Divorce even though they have been separated for donkeys years. Its very common. 

2. Legal entitlement? Very hard to know without having a clear picture of the situation. The very best case scenario in a Court is that she would get half of everything.  Thats a bit unlikely. 

3. Not really. If the assets are in his name, then a Court looks at all the assets available in the marriage and will seek to make proper provision for both parties. It will take account of the length of separation and that assets were acquired after the separation commenced.

As efm says, your father would be well advised to  get very specific advice from an experienced family lawyer. He should also accept that if this Divorce is what your mother wants that he would be better off negotiating his way out of it with the assistance of his solicitor than fighting it in Court. 

mf


----------



## Green (25 Sep 2007)

I agree with other poster that you need specialist legal advice. Also you might be interested in the fact that Carol Coulter (on behalf of the Courts Service) has produced a report of Irish faimly law cases and how they are dealt with. This might be of interest to you.


----------



## chippy (26 Sep 2007)

Thank you all for the advise and help offered. We will be looking for a good family law solicitor and take it from there.

Regards


----------



## ninsaga (26 Sep 2007)

chippy said:


> Thank you all for the advise and help offered. We will be looking for a good family law solicitor and take it from there.
> 
> Regards



If you really want to protect your interests - then get the best solicitor that you can afford - with a proven track record in such situations.


----------



## Bronte (26 Sep 2007)

Your solicitor should be able to advise you as to how assets etc will be split.  You would be well advised to agree to this amicably,  no matter what the circumstances or duration of the separation.  As previously stated if you go to court both sides will pay hefty legal fees.


----------



## foxylady (26 Sep 2007)

chippy said:


> My mother is looking for a divorce from my father. My mother left the family home of her own accord over 25 years ago. There was no legal separation but my father has been paying her an agreed monthly maintenance during this time.
> 
> Recently my mother sent my father a Solicitors letter demanding a divorce and looking for half of all his assets. The family home consists of a house and 20 acres. Since they have lived apart my father purchased a farm of 80 acres and over time constructed 3 houses on this farm which he intended to be left to his children. My mother has refused to talk to my father face to face instead has insisted that they communicate through solicitors only.
> 
> ...


 

If your mother has not started proceedings yet, would you father not be able to transfer assets into his kids name like a living will perhaps that way she cant claim it.


----------



## mf1 (26 Sep 2007)

foxylady said:


> If your mother has not started proceedings yet, would you father not be able to transfer assets into his kids name like a living will perhaps that way she cant claim it.



No. That would be a reviewable disposition presumably done with the express aim of taking assets out of the jurisdiction of the Court - Courts don't like that and they will set it aside. 

This comes down to the fact that the people involved never regulated their separation until now.  They can now do it by agreement between themselves or, if that is not possible, have a Court adjudicate. Its probably not a good sign when one of the offspring describes his mother as stark staring mad. 

mf


----------



## chippy (26 Sep 2007)

foxylady said:


> If your mother has not started proceedings yet, would you father not be able to transfer assets into his kids name like a living will perhaps that way she cant claim it.


 
My mother has already sent a letter to my father requesting a divorce and instructing that he should not try and change ownership of assets into the childrens names. So no unfortunately it seems too late to transfer ownership..


----------



## chippy (26 Sep 2007)

mf1 said:


> Its probably not a good sign when one of the offspring describes his mother as stark staring mad.
> 
> mf


 
True, but you do not know my mother..


----------

