# Why oh why ?



## Graham_07 (25 Jun 2010)

Things that puzzle me. 

Can you cry under water? 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 

What disease did cured ham actually have? 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? 
They're going to see you naked anyway. 

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? 
They're both dogs! 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME gear, why didn't he just buy dinner? 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? 

Why?, Why?, Why?


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## Graham_07 (25 Jun 2010)

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to  Hawaii  so I can ride over anytime I want.' 

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.  Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I
wish that I , and all men,  could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.


 God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"


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## Sue Ellen (25 Jun 2010)

Do ya think by any chance Graham that you might have a little too much time on your hands, best to keep busy as less time for wondering


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## dmos87 (26 Jun 2010)

*Can you cry under water? *
Personally I can't - the chlorine/salt/crap hurts my eyes too much. But I reckon if I wore those goggles I could!

*How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? *
Assassination is when someone is specifically targeted to be killed due to their status. Any well known A-list celebrity would fall under this. Murdered is generally used for those of us who are not celebrities. Who decides is anyones guess.

*Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?*
It's just a saying...you have too much time on your hands (a bit like me today!)

*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?*
v. simple answer. Square packaging is cheaper all around (to make, pack, ship, etc.). This is why the majority of companies or suppliers use square packaging. I quite like the square pizza boxes - a little space in each corner for dips  
* 
What disease did cured ham actually have? *
Im not sure it was a disease but it runs the risk of parasites. Can be lethal if the ham is not cooked properly.

*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? *
Dream big Graham! Do you know off the top of your head the name of the man/woman who did put wheels on luggage? No...because its something a bit trivial in comparison to walking on the moon. But I see what you are getting at 

*Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? *
Babies tend to have very peaceful sleeps because they're only real worry in life is "will I poop now or wait till yer one is taking my nappy off again?"

*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? *
No, its called a mime-ing!! (awful joke, all I could come up with )

*Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?*
You are starring/playing a part IN a movie, which is broadcast ON TV.*

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?*
Because its fun to pretend you're a giant for a while. And to see the full effects of gravity *

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? 
They're going to see you naked anyway. *
So you can regain some pride and dignity. Although I really think its because they dont want to be looking!

*Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?*
This I don't know. A bit odd actually now that I've read this. Although if I called it my "panty" it sounds funny. Bra can be plural too though  

*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?*
Because people are strange Graham...very strange

*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? 
They're both dogs!*
I could be wrong but I always assumed Pluto was a pup while Goofy was an adult. If I were as addled by this as you are I would most certainly be formatting a letter to Mr. Walt Disnep IMMEDIATELY for rectification!

*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME gear, why didn't he just buy dinner? *
Who is Wile E. Coyote?

*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? *
It is not made from Babies. I repeat, NOT made from babies. Do not try this at home.

*Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? *
Yes

*Why did you just try singing the two songs above?*
To see if they have the same tune! * 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? *
I'm hoping theres a Doctor on here that will give you a really really smart answer for this!!!! 

*Why?, Why?, Why?*
Why not?!!?


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## MandaC (26 Jun 2010)

Why oh why do I hate the word "panties" with a passion?

Horrible stupid word.


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## Complainer (26 Jun 2010)

If a tortoise has no shell, is he naked or homeless?


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## Graham_07 (26 Jun 2010)

dmos87 said:


> *If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME gear, why didn't he just buy dinner? *
> Who is Wile E. Coyote?



I love the rest of your answers    but I mean Wile E Coyote . Where have you been ??? You must be , like only 10 or something. Who else grew up on Wile E and RR ?? C'mon folks . Lets start the Wile E & RR appreciation society (IRL branch)

(PS dmos87 you definitely have more time to spare than I do   )


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## Graham_07 (26 Jun 2010)

Complainer said:


> If a tortoise has no shell, is he naked or homeless?



Depends, is his loan in NAMA or not ???


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## Caveat (27 Jun 2010)

MandaC said:


> Why oh why do I hate the word "panties" with a passion?
> 
> Horrible stupid word.



Me too actually. There is no acceptable term for male undergarmets either as far as I'm concerned. Underpants is just unspeakably awful and archaic sounding. Pants can be confusing. Boxers isn't always accurate. Jocks/kecks or whatever is just silly.

I actually use the term knickers when speaking to my wife. I'm stuck if I ever have to speak to anyone else about them.


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## Purple (27 Jun 2010)

MandaC said:


> Why oh why do I hate the word "panties" with a passion?
> 
> Horrible stupid word.



So what do you wear instead?


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## elefantfresh (27 Jun 2010)

I'm shocked that you don't know Wily.
How about a Warner Bros appreciation moment...

*Elmer*: Now I got you, you - you - _wabbit!_ 
*Bugs*: Say Doc, are you tryin' to get yourself in trouble with the law? It's not Wabbit huntin' season! 
*Elmer*: It's not? 
*Bugs*: No, it's Duck huntin' season! 
*Daffy*: _That_, sir, is an inmetigated frabrication! It's Wabbit season! 
*Bugs*: Duck season! 
*Daffy*: Wabbit season! 
*Bugs*: Duck season! 
*Daffy*: Wabbit season! 
*Bugs*: Duck season!! 
*Daffy*: Wabbit season!! 
*Bugs*: Wabbit season! 
*Daffy*: Duck season!!! 
*Bugs*: Wabbit season!!! 
*Daffy*: I say it's Duck season, and I say, FIRE! 
_BLAM!_


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## MandaC (27 Jun 2010)

Purple said:


> So what do you wear instead?



I am a knickers woman myself!

And laughing at the ones for a man too.....underpants conjours up images of those 70's type Y fronts!  Yuk!


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## Chocks away (27 Jun 2010)

It's knickers for both sexes in our house too


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## dmos87 (27 Jun 2010)

I know the character, just didnt know the name  OH is obsessed with them - has about 500 episodes on the laptop. I tend to tune it out along with his laughs...not my cuppa really!

If my OH came in and said "have you seen my Knickers??" I'd get the fright of my life! There referred to as Undies in our place.


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## callybags (28 Jun 2010)

What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?


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## Purple (28 Jun 2010)

Chocks away said:


> It's knickers for both sexes in our house too



That’s very liberal. Does the cross-dressing extend to external apparel as well?


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## Chocks away (28 Jun 2010)

Occasionally I use his hat, wellies and scarf (outdoors of course)


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## DerKaiser (2 Jul 2010)

Graham_07 said:


> How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


 
Having read this earlier in the week I nearly bust my ass laughing when I read this headline!

http://www.rte.ie/ten/2010/0702/twilight.html

How full of it do you have to be to consider your own murder to be an assassination?


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## Latrade (2 Jul 2010)

> *Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? *


 
Just to be picky, I presume you meant "outside the atmosphere". And for some clarity asteroids are small (well smaller than planets) bodies orbiting the sun, so they're pretty much always outside the atmosphere. Meteroids are the smaller bits of rock/boulders that more commonly enter the atmosphere. Once they enter the atmosphere and we see them as a shooting star, they're a meteor. If they make it all the way to the ground in tact, they're a meteorite.

That last bit's not relevant to anything. 

As to the "oid" suffix, it just means "appearing like" something. So an "aster" "oid" is a very large bit of rock that appears "oid" like a star "aster". The "hemor" would mean "blood" or "blood flow" and the "oid" makes it an object resembling blood flow. Or a dirty great big grape hanging off your rectum causing significant pain and discomfort.


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