# Moving back in to former home where ex still lives....



## Lone Star (1 May 2019)

Posting by way of research for a friend: The friend moved out of the family home 8 years ago, after separating and subsequently divorcing. Currently renting with her teenage twins, the landlord may be selling up. Both parties remain on the mortgage....[mortgage payments not straightforward - however at this point in time both spouses would have paid in similar amounts over the years - be it monthly or via lump sum]. My friend is just wondering - worse case scenario - Could they just move back in ??!! The locks may have been changed? but if both of them are contributing to the mortgage - and there is nothing in the divorce agreement - is there anything legally that prevents this person and her children moving back in?


----------



## DeeKie (1 May 2019)

Oh lord. This is not a money question- get a mediator or someone and have a grown up conversation before trying something like this.


----------



## Lone Star (1 May 2019)

Perhaps a moderator can move the post to a more appropriate forum section - I posted under 'other financial' as it was as close as I could get to best fit. a mediator won't work.. AAM is brilliant - and I'm certain someone will have some ideas.


----------



## luckystar (2 May 2019)

I'd be aghast if the property wasn't dealt with in divorce. It ceased to be the 'family home' I presume so wouldn't be guaranteed that the ex wife could just move back in


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

...I think it's not a straightforward matter....it's still a family home on paper....the spouse remaining refuses to remove the ex from the mortgage....


----------



## Bronte (2 May 2019)

DO NOT MOVE IN.

and stop justifying moving in.


----------



## Brendan Burgess (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Could they just move back in ??!!



Yes. They jointly own the house.

But it should have been dealt with in the divorce so are you sure that her name is on the deeds? I suspect it's on the mortgage but not the deeds.

Brendan


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Bronte: It could be move in or sleep in the street? the landlord could well sell and the rent they pay is below market rates in the county, and they won't be able to afford current rates....the ex spouse has had it handy for a long time and made money out of the house by air bnbing etc.

Thanks Brendan. the Deeds can be looked into. (The deeds are held by bank usually?)


----------



## RedOnion (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Thanks Brendan. the Deeds can be looked into. (The deeds are held by bank usually?)


A copy from land registry would be easier to get your hands on.


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Red Onion - just got the folio - yes both names still on it - 'full owner as tenant-in-common of 1 undivided 1/2'


----------



## Steven Barrett (2 May 2019)

Bronte said:


> DO NOT MOVE IN.
> 
> and stop justifying moving in.



This 100%. 



Lone Star said:


> the ex spouse has had it handy for a long time and made money out of the house by air bnbing etc.



Maybe they don't. Maybe the ex is renting out a room because they are struggling with the mortgage? Who knows? 

But it is madness for a divorced couple to move back in with each other. They divorced because they couldn't live with each other. Why would that have changed? 

Is this the same case as the €250,000 loan from the sister or have you another mad situation?


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Two totally separate situations - either end of the country - in court on same day - how mad is that! Don't get me started on the illegal creche across the road - I work from home and the noise is unreal - not to mention her unregistered chickens...dirty spot for kids to be minded.....

Where I live is just a myriad of noise and nuttiness!! (we'll get to a quiet spot yet!) 

The ex rents the room to furnish a lifestyle - he has two cars - one a very sporty convertible....


----------



## Thirsty (2 May 2019)

News to me that you have to register chickens...

Don't recall anyone complaining about being raised on a farm.


----------



## RedOnion (2 May 2019)

Thirsty said:


> News to me that you have to register chickens...
> 
> Don't recall anyone complaining about being raised on a farm.


Ah, the good old days before bird flu...


----------



## elcato (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> The ex rents the room to furnish a lifestyle - he has two cars - one a very sporty convertible....


Is the proceeds of this split evenly between the two owners ? There's way too much going on here and I'm certain there are loads of factors that your friend has not told you. You need to stop people piling boulders on your shoulder. Anyway from your original post we are talking about a maybe here.


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Elcato: No proceeds from air bnb shared.....No i'm fairly informed on most of the material. She could end up in a tricky situation with the rental. She's as decent as they come, and this is a worst case, last choice scenario. It's not boulder piling, I'm happy to make enquiries. 

Re the digress: Yip - a flock of 1 has to be registered - ah i'm just being a pedant on that point, the state of the place though....12 kids....house rarely gets a good clean....chickens now...hamsters, a rabbit in a dirty hutch and a bichon friese she lets out for his daily plop - often in my garden!!! 

I was up home recently, staying out the country - the peace...oh the peace was unreal!


----------



## PaddyBloggit (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> chickens



https://www.agriculture.gov.ie/avia...registeryourpoultrypremiseswiththedepartment/


----------



## noproblem (2 May 2019)

"The locks may have been changed"  That statement alone sends out signals and that's apart from the legalities of it all, which would no doubt have been sorted if they're divorced.


----------



## Saavy99 (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> The friend moved out of the family home 8 years ago, after separating and subsequently divorcing. Currently renting with her teenage twins,
> 
> 
> My friend is just wondering - worse case scenario - Could they just move back in ??!! ?



You cannot be serious 

She needs to go to the Council, maybe emergency accommodation is on the cards for her and her twins for a while anyway,  a far better and safer solution than what's she's proposing.    I wonder how this house was never sorted out during the divorce proceedings, very odd indeed.


----------



## Mousehelp (2 May 2019)

Leaving the legalities and the financial aspect aside, please do not let you friend subject her children to living in that toxic environment. There will always be an option 2.


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Maybe it's come time for the person in the house to look for his option 2....he's had a number of handy years....whereas she's had the hassle....anyhow, we'll see what pans out.


----------



## Bronte (2 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Two totally separate situations - either end of the country - in court on same day - how mad is that! Don't get me started on the illegal creche across the road - I work from home and the noise is unreal - not to mention her unregistered chickens...dirty spot for kids to be minded.....
> 
> Where I live is just a myriad of noise and nuttiness!! (we'll get to a quiet spot yet!)
> 
> The ex rents the room to furnish a lifestyle - he has two cars - one a very sporty convertible....


Dirt is good for children. Animals are good for building up immune systems etc. Plus they’ll realise eggs don’t come from the fridge.  And kids love chickens etc, nothing healthier than them going out to fetch the eggs.

That’s some begrudgery there from a divorced person who has no business poking their noses into how many cars the ex has or hasn’t.


----------



## Lone Star (2 May 2019)

Bronte - I'm all for kids getting into dirt etc....but you'd wash yourself after stepping foot in the house...there'd be no guarantee kids/toddlers hands would be washed after coming into contact with chicken faeces...it carries salmonella...there's a rabbit hutch there that is rancid...and her dog's droppings are left in the green verge areas of the estate as well as surrounding gardens...I nearly threw up last year when she described to me her night sweats!! she's also foul (no puns intended) of the law with new legislation on registering afterschool facilities..no vetting..no insurance..nada

re begrudgery - far from it - certainly when you know the full situation.

anyhow, I think at this stage the thread is almost at a close and sufficient comments to date. 

#interestingproblems


----------



## Clamball (3 May 2019)

If they do look like becoming homeless can the twins move back in with their Dad 100% of time?  The parents main concern should be the kids. 

Should the parents look at swapping their primary residence?  The Dad move out & the Mum & kids back in?  It all depends on their divorce agreement re upbringing of the kids, 50:50 or mainly with the Mum etc.   Between them they need to provide two homes for the kids, so they should both be vested in finding a solution.  If the Mum is unable to fund more expensive accommodation due to higher rents she should be able to return to court to look for more from the Dad to fund this.  Ultimately it is what is best for the kids and a house swap may be one of the best options.  But she should not be thinking she can move back in just because her name is on the deed, this shows poor judgement and will be bad for the kids.

Even going to mediation with the Dad may help if the subject is to find secure accommodation for the kids.


----------



## Lone Star (3 May 2019)

Thanks Clamball. Makes it sounds much more civil actually - a house swap. Howinever the party remaining is difficult to say the least.


----------



## Bronte (3 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Howinever the party remaining is difficult to say the least.



Can you imagine how difficult he will be if his ex tries to move in or suggests he move out.  Why would anyone want to open this can of worms.


----------



## Lone Star (3 May 2019)

I imagine extremely difficult - however....Why should anyone cow down and be bullied. Circumstances change...


----------



## Lone Star (3 May 2019)

I'm just thinking...he could only really her prevent her moving in with an Injunction application ...and I can't seeing him forking out a few thousand for that....


----------



## Steven Barrett (3 May 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Thanks Clamball. Makes it sounds much more civil actually - a house swap. Howinever the party remaining is difficult to say the least.



Never going to happen. They got divorced and have separate lives now. Imagine the chaos when the ex wife tells him that her landlord is selling up and she has nowhere to go, so she wants him to move out of his house so she can live there?!!!

There has to be something in the divorce settlement that deals with the house. It is the biggest asset/liability that most couples have. I find it hard to believe that it hasn't been addressed.


----------



## Lone Star (3 May 2019)

I hear you - I'll check re the divorce agreement - but she is paying for a home she doesn't live in and neither he nor the bank will take her name off the mortgage....so what does she do??


----------



## elcato (3 May 2019)

Sorry but I don't believe that she is paying a mortgage for a house she does not live in without some kind of deal thrashed out during the divorce.


----------



## Clamball (3 May 2019)

It can’t be all about the husband and the wife, it is how they as parents ensure their children do not become homeless.  They have joint responsibilities.  Singly they are now poorer than when they were married but both sound as if they have plenty of income, the wife paying half a mortgage and rental, and the husband with two cars and an income from airbnb.  So they need to adult up and come to joint decisions about what is best for the kids.

Which they should have agreed on when they divorced?


----------



## noproblem (3 May 2019)

Something smells wrong in this.


----------



## DirectDevil (8 May 2019)

Curious.

Like others, I would wonder what was set out in the terms of the divorce in relation to the property issue* and* the matter of maintenance of the children.

Leaving the emotion out of it this is a possible practical scenario where joint mortgagors of a property *may* decide to reside in it.
I emphasise the word *may* as I see no apparent entitlement to just move back in as of right even if the former wife is an equitable mortgagor in relation to that property. Again, much depends on the divorce terms.

If the former wife and the children want to move back in - even as a practical expedient - I would think it wise to reduce the terms of the proposed manoeuvre to writing so that there is no disagreement or misunderstanding as to the exact basis.

The proposed idea could cut badly wrong both ways. Put another way, the exes would need to legal proof themselves from each other before entering this proposed and potentially unholy project...........


----------



## Lone Star (27 May 2019)

Update: the house and mortgage was not dealt with in divorce. The divorce took place in the US. So the matter of the house is still open for discussion - bank were not willing a few years ago to take one name off the papers. The bank would now, but the resident in situ won't agree - so the ex-spouse who moved out is in limbo to a large degree and currently seeking someone (a good solicitor) who can clarify/progress matters to get off the mortgage/sell up or move in- but I think move in is either an extreme last resort or a tool for getting matter moving excuse the pun.


----------



## Purple (6 Jun 2019)

Lone Star said:


> Update: the house and mortgage was not dealt with in divorce. The divorce took place in the US. So the matter of the house is still open for discussion - bank were not willing a few years ago to take one name off the papers. The bank would now, but the resident in situ won't agree - so the ex-spouse who moved out is in limbo to a large degree and currently seeking someone (a good solicitor) who can clarify/progress matters to get off the mortgage/sell up or move in- but I think move in is either an extreme last resort or a tool for getting matter moving excuse the pun.


And so it all becomes clear.


----------

