# Does will maker need consent of proposed executor?



## Mommah (20 Mar 2011)

Someone has said to me that they have made me executor of their will. (They didn't consult with me about this, in fact I had previously said to the person that I didn't wish to be a beneficiary of the will)
This is not something I want to do, in fact I am pretty sure it would be a nightmare.

Can I just ignore it and will it go away or do I actually need to ring the person up and say appoint someone else?

Thing is I am not 100% sure I am the executor.
I don't have a great relationship with the will maker and really don't want to engage in too much debate about it.

What is my position?


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## fender (20 Mar 2011)

You do not have to be asked but it would be good manners for the person making the Will to do so. 

You have a right to decline to be the executor when the Will comes into force so you have nothing to be concerned about.


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## beffers (20 Mar 2011)

If don't have the best of relationships with the person involved, what do you have to lose by going to them and telling them that their comment about making you an Executor of their estate is giving you cause for concern, and that you do not want to do it. If is ticks them off, so what? It was darn rude of them to make you the Executor without getting your ok in the first place. You mentioned that you told them that you do not want to be a benificiary of the will. That is not the same thing as being the executor. As you did not mention that at the time, perhaps the person in question is not aware of your reluctance to be neither a benificiary nor an executor of his estate? Perhaps they took your silence on the matter as an ok.

Point out to them that if they go ahead with their plans, you will decline to be the Executor when the time comes. An unnecessary amount of money will then go to Solicitors, as they and the beneficiaries try to figure out something else to do. Do they really want to waste that time and money? I doubt if they will.

 If it were me, I would not take the traditionally Irish way out, by sticking mind head in the sand, and presuming that it will all go away. It won't. Yes, you can walk away from the duties of being an Executor. You can not walk away from the hard feelings it may create within the family after wards.  Who knows, the person involved may even appreciate your honesty, especially if you bring it up in a tactful way and let him/her know that your reluctance to be their Executor is not a reflection on your feelings for them. You just don't think that you are the right man/woman for the job due to lack of qualifications/experience/other commitments etc etc


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## mercman (20 Mar 2011)

I know a person who resigned their obligations of being an executor on a number of occasions. The people that died made him an executor and all parties acted in good faith. When death occurred he simply wrote to the Solicitors advising them of his reluctance and passed on the inheritance he should have received. As the person presumed, pure sculdugary was to explode and he thankfully walked away to let solicitors, barristers and the Courts decide on the beneficiaries faith. The same person died with a clear conscience, more to be said by others.

To the OP, you might ask yourself is there any justice in this ? There's better -- peace of mind.


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## Laramie (21 Mar 2011)

I was told that I was to be the executor of my uncle's will by my father. The only reason I was asked to do this was because he wanted to control affairs from the sidelines. I was to be his puppet. I expressed this concern and I was assured that this was not the case.  My uncled died many years later and I discovered then that I had been made executor even though I had said that I wasn't interested. My father had the key to my deceased uncles house. He would go down once a week and spend one hour in the house systematically going through every drawer and piece of paper that he could find. These were presented to me on a weekly basis and I was asked to "deal" with them.  One week I might be handed a post office book, a couple of weeks later I was handed a few Prize Bonds, a few weeks later an old bank statement, and so on. He never spent more than an hour in the house in case the neighbours saw him. Every week he would leave two black sacks of rubbish outside the house. Inside these bags were bits of carpet, bits of paper, odd items that he deemed only fit for the dump. He refused to do everything in one go and get a skip in.
When I tried to carry out the wishes of my uncle in conjunction with my solicitor I found that my father was double checking everything I did. He would ring the solicitor almost daily to find out the progress. Of course he would never ask me.
I asked him to stop this carry on and finalise matters. Get a skip. Clean out the house. Get everything together and deal with it all in one go. He refused. So that was it, I walked away and told him that he could be the executor as I wanted nothing more to do with it.
I the end he got a huge bill from the solicitor. He couldn't understand when I told him later that every call and letter is logged and charged for.
Just be careful if you are being asked to be an executor that you are not being manipulated by others who don't want to make decisions themselves but criticise from the sidelines.


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