# Taking a child out of the country (separated)



## lowpoint (8 May 2013)

Hi all,

Firstly i have spent over an hour looking for a similar post / thread but have not found one specific enough to avoid posting and possibly wasting your time so my apologies if I have missed a thread that would answer my question.

I'm seperated from my wife (based on me being 95% sure of an affair) and up until last Sunday (100% FACT of affair & continuing it) we were getting on very well as in everything was amicable and the kids had settled into their new life living with me in a new house & with their mother in the old house we jointly own with 150K NE. 

The kids are 17 girl (hers from previous relationship) & 4 boy (ours during our marriage) 

I transfer a lump sum each month for the mortgage on her house (whilst having to pay the exact same amount towards my new home even though we earn the same money & leaving me essentially broke with no fallback for emergencies) but included in that lump sum is a combination of payments for insurance, maintenance etc but I also minus some money from the lump sum for her childcare costs which I cover. Basically to keep the transactions to a minimum we have combined everything we owe each other and I transfer one sum each month which averages out what we need to pay (I hope that explains it anyway)

As things have now soured (me following up with the promise that if the affair was confirmed 100% i would never speak to her again based upon her refusal to admit it over 8 months ago and allowing myself & family members heavily involved to move on and not go through any more heartache) she has now threatened to take my youngest away to her home country (UK) and never return. Her daughter (my SD of over 10 years) is currently living with me 6 days a week and has absolutely refused to go to the UK with her and has known about the affair also so now refuses to speak to her at all (I'm sure she will calm down and have a relationship with her which is important for her IMO)

I have my youngest 4 days a week FT and the other three days he is with my ex who basically collects him at 7pm and drops back at 7am the next day where my family do the school runs/collections and childcare until she next collects him at 7pm etc.


I see my kids each and every day as i am home from work at 5 and ensure that i spend the two hours I have with my son on the days he will go to his mothers so access and joint custody is fantastic for me currently which suits me & my ex as she likes her own time away from the kids and is engaging in her new found clubbing, drinking, socialising etc. 

So to my question:

Where do i stand on resisting her taking my son away from me & his sister? My ex has not taken anything into consideration by way of him losing his dad, sister, Grandparents, uncle and cousins whom he plays with almost every day. She actually seems unconcerned about leaving my daughter behind. This could of course be an idle threat but I cant take the chance as my kids are my life. My ex has no family over here and no support network which is why my family are massively involved in my kids lives. both my kids schools are located within 2 minutes from my home and all their friends are based here too. The old house (ex's current house) is almost 40 minutes away where the kids know nobody and have no friends.

What are my steps to avoid this happening and put a stop to the enevitable breakup of a family leaving me with her daughter (very happy with that) & her in the UK with my son & my daughters little brother.

We were about to enter mediation to cement our legal seperation as outlined above in the way we conduct our affairs (which was working fine) but this new threat has everybody in a major panic especially my mother who is now at her wits end with worry. 

i know most of the details above are not relavant to my question but thought giving more would be quicker than leaving out details that you may require in order to offer advice.

Thanks for reading and any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated.

rgds,

A very concerned loving dad.

EDIT: As per my last thread I'm here under LowPoint username keeping usual profile seperate (specific reasons - nothing underhand)


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## mf1 (8 May 2013)

If this is a real concern, you should apply to Court for a Judicial Separation but bring a preliminary application for primary custody, restricted access and an order preventing her from taking the child out of the country. It's extreme, it's expensive, it's not guaranteed to prevent her doing it, but the alternative is that she just goes.  Or, if as you say she is enjoying the good life, perhaps it will not suit her to have full time responsibility for a young child. And this is all idle threats.

mf


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## lowpoint (9 May 2013)

It certainly is a real concern based upon me never willing to take a risk on calling her bluff on a matter of this seriousness.

Judicial seperation - I assume this is just an official version of what myself and my ex were doing day to day in relation to maintenance/mortgage/kids etc?????

Primary custody - From what I gather there is almost a 100% certainty that this will not be granted unless I can prove she is an unfit mother (which she is not) and even if she was it is extremely hard to show this in the courts. This works both ways so not too concerned about her being given primary custody either nor would she want it.

Restricted access - Again it's not something I would persue given that I want my kids to see their mother as much as they can. I just want what's fair IMO obviously.

It's the court order that I'm interested in preventing her from leaving the country with my son. Do you have any more specific info based on that court order? Has anybody done this before? Any info greatly appreciated & thank you MF1 for your reply.


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## lowpoint (9 May 2013)

*Q16: In case of conflict or feared abduction can one parent take a child abroad without the consent of the other?*

A16: No. If a parent fears the other parent may try to remove a child from the jurisdiction without consent s/he may apply to the Circuit or District Court under Section 11 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964 for an order prohibiting the removal of the child.
Alternatively, one may apply for an 'injunction' to prevent the removal of the child and to order the production of the child in the Court. Proceedings may also be brought to have the child made a ward of the Court. 
*Note:* The Child Abduction and Enforcement of Custody Orders Act 1991 deals with problems arising when a parent abducts a child(ren) into/from Ireland against the other parent's wishes or in defiance of a Court Order.



I assume this is what I was looking for. I will contact the powers that be and get the ball rolling if it's the case.


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