# The cost of getting married in recession - help!



## Bigbird

Hiya,

We're hoping to get married in 2014.  I'm not working at present and we're stretched in relation to finances.  Having said that I would like a memorable day if possible.  We are willing to reduce the number of guests from 200 to strictly 100 but I would like a hotel setting for the reception.  I would love people's opinions and suggestions on venues and ways to save without compromising. I always imagined a spectacular wedding day and i'm feeling quite annoyed that it may not be possible now due to our current circumstances.  

regards

BB


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## Eithneangela

I think a lot of hotels will do a deal based on the number of people - I've seen ads for one of the local hotels (Ashdown Lodge, Gorey) which seem to suggest that you can have a wedding scenario (I assume that means the room plus the meal) for 50 people for less than €3,000. So research the hotels in the area you want to host a reception, up to a radius of 25 km, prepare a message requesting the cost of a wedding reception (i.e room, meal - people can pay for their own drinks) for the date you're thinking of. When the replies come pouring in, evaluate them and select those which suit your idea of your dream day, and start negotiations with them. Good luck. (If you're thinking of a summer wedding, maybe a marquee wedding in any available/accessible location would be good and probably a lot less costly).


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## dmos87

There are huge ways to cut down the cost of a wedding, but to help you as best as possible, you might let us know your location so we can advise of some local deals


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## annie84

Hi I'm getting married now in June this year, and yes I know exactly  what you mean, I want to have a really memorable day surrounded by all  my family and friends, and my Guestlist is roughly 350!!!! Mental money,  but I have found ways to save major money, and that is to shop online, I  know people think this is risky, but it is sooooo worth it! I bought my  Wedding dress online, I was petrified that it wouldn't be ok, but I saw  and tried on the dress (I seen and wanted online) in a bridal shop, and  I loved it, it cost 2995euro in the shop and I got it made and  delivered to me for 115euro, so I swear its worth it!I then took my  bridesmaids shopping, picked their dresses, then took the name of the  designer down and went online googled the name and got the product code  from their website, then googled again and have my dresses coming for  half the price that they were in the Shop! For my Bouquet I don't like  flowers or how much a bridal bouquet costs, so instead I got all my  aunties and relations 2 give me brooch and have my mum who worked in a  flower shop to make me a brooch bouquet. I'm having pick n mix jars on  my tables as the centre pieces and after the dinner everyone has a  personalised candy bag(from ebay) which they can fill with all their  favs from as favours. I have a three year old daughter who I am getting  to be my flowergirl and she is going to have a button bouquet. I bought  coloured butterflies to match my bridesmaids dresses for the florist to  put on top on their flowers, which I a just having plain Ivory with the  blue butterfly!I'm trying to think what other ways of saving I have, oh  yeah for your cards, I got my kids 2 draw the picture, then uploaded  onto a brilliant card website, and I'm getting all the cards, envelopes  etc for round 167euro that's for 250 cards, that's with Optimal print,  and they have loads of designs if you don't want to design your own.  Hope this all helps! if I think of more I'll let you know!x


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## Time

How about making the guests pay for their own meals? 

It cost me a grand total of €21.08 when I got married 9 years ago. It can be done.


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## browtal

Try Langtons in Kilkenny they have some great offers this year Browtal


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## Jim2007

Time said:


> How about making the guests pay for their own meals?
> 
> It cost me a grand total of €21.08 when I got married 9 years ago. It can be done.



Well I would not go that far, but you are heading in the right direction!  Weddings here in Switzerland run at about 1000chf and you'd be considered an idiot to spend much more than that!

First of all the wedding party will consist of about 40 people tops - close family plus 5 or 6 good friends and next the reception is held in a community hall, or farmer's barn if one of the parties is of farming stock.  

I've enjoyed several great weddings over here, none of which were associated with spending loads of money!


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## Dr.Debt

Irish people have always had difficulty in seeing the woods from the trees when it comes to weddings.

The whole wedding "industry" in Ireland is very proficient in getting people to spend more money than they need to.....

Think quality, Think small numbers and Think carefully before you spend money on anything. Try to evaluate if an item will add more value to your wedding day than it costs.

Most importantly, plan your wedding day to your individual circumstances.
If money is already tight, don't blow a whole years salary on one afternoon.

I too have been at some "budget" weddings in foreign countries and they have been among the best weddings, Ive ever attended.

Invite the "important" people to a good meal. Make sure you have some good music and try to have a bar available for your guests. Everything 
else is superfluous.


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## Black Sheep

Think carefully about who you invite to your wedding. Are they either close family or close friends. If not why are you inviting them? You may never see them again.
Call in all the favours that are on offer. We've had many weddings in our family over the past couple of years. One brother is pretty handy with his camera and did the photos (his gift). A close friend who is arty did the invitations and stationery (her gift).  Auntie did the flowers etc etc.

The whole preparation experience was good fun and I think less stress for the couple


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## Time

If you only spend €100 it is hardly irresponsible.


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## DerKaiser

Just dug out my own wedding budget from a few years ago to see what I would have cut out!

There was a thread about wedding gifts elsewhere. Some people think it's vulgar to even discuss, but there is a very good chance of getting an average cash gift in excess of €50 per person invited. What that basically means is that you should invite as many people as you reasonably think you would like to invite and not worry about the costs.

You should have no trouble finding a hotel to provide an excellent meal for €40 a head (this is key - a good meal, a good hotel and all the people you want there with you are all that's needed, on top of the church ceremony, to make the day special). 

There are any number of 'extras' you should not consider on a tight budget:
Wine at the tables (people know where the bar is) 
Buffet food later on (people are usually stuffed anyway!)
Reception / Toast drinks
Chair covers
Bridal Car hire
Favours (chocolates for guests, etc)
Videographer
Paying for hotel accomodation for family or bridal party

Other big ticket items you need to focus real attention on economising on are:
Honeymoon - modest hol
Church / Reception music - keep it basic
Photographer - Friend with a very good camera?
Wedding Dress (see Annie84's post)
Suit hire / bridesmaids dresses - Groomsmen/Bridesmaids organise their own
Flowers and invitations - don't go nuts
Hair / Make-up - Do it yourself

Bottom line is that provided you get a good deal on the meal, the costs per guest will be largely covered by gifts. It's the overheads such as music, wedding attire, accomodation, honeymoon, photographer, etc that need to be controlled.


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## terrysgirl33

Have a think about what is the most important thing about your wedding.  It probably won't be the flock of doves released or the fireworks, but the person you are marrying.  As everyone has said, a memorable wedding doesn't have to be expensive!  I agree about going to a hotel though, makes life easy for everyone.


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## 2010rachel29

Hi, I am also planning a wedding this year and trying to stick to a budget would really like to know where annie84 got her dress made from as have also allready saw the perfect dress but not willing to spend the amount of money is needed on it .


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## Metallo

Someone I know did exactly as annie84 did and used a company called "light in the box" for her wedding dress and as she's tall was able to get it made a custom length. I have absolutley no connection but the bride's dress was beautiful and cost her under €200


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## emmt

I got my wedding cake in M&S. They come in different sizes and you can choose to have 1, 2 or 3 tier cake. It was the nicest fruit cake i ever tasted. Then I bought decorations in a cake shop to decorate the cake and added some ribbons and tasteful plastic flowers/leaves from a pound shop. The plastic greenery sounds tacky but really it wasn't!


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## Bronte

emmt said:


> I got my wedding cake in M&S. They come in different sizes and you can choose to have 1, 2 or 3 tier cake. It was the nicest fruit cake i ever tasted. Then I bought decorations in a cake shop to decorate the cake and added some ribbons and tasteful plastic flowers/leaves from a pound shop. The plastic greenery sounds tacky but really it wasn't!


 
Ingenuity is always wonderful.  Great ideas there emmt.


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## wednesday

Elope and have a big party when you get back?


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## MrEarl

Hello,

While I wish you the very best, I think it is a complete waiste of money having a wedding with a 100 guests, or possibly more ... use the same money to go to the USA, get married in Las Vegas & have  Honeymoon in the USA as part of it.  

There is nothing to stop you from either just going with your partner, or inviting those you really want to be there - with them paying for part or all of their own costs, then incorporating a small holiday of their own perhaps.

Regards

Mr. Earl.


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## Setanta12

A previous poster spoke of inviting as many guests as possible; to maximise variable revenues against variable costs.  Has anybody actually done this ?

(I also recall Eddie Hobbs' tv show also advising this for a cash-strapped couple)


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## Bigbird

Update we're eloping to NYC.  Had a moment of clarity and decided not to throw our hard earned cash into the wedding industry.  The more we looked into it the more we thought how ridiculous it was.  Got a basic dress off the rails and upgraded it by buying amazing material in the cloth shop in Dublin.  My veil is preloved and everything including shoes should amount to e1,000. We have a lovers itinerary done out,which is gorgeous.  It includes a famous bakery to cut cake and another location for a celebratory champagne.  Our first dance is still not sorted - still work in progress so if anyone knows anywhere good in NYC that would be suitable then please let me knows.   Thanks for advice and opinions.


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## Bigbird

Kildavin As far as I'm aware many guests at weddings are gone back to giving kettles and toasters!  My sister got married last Christmas and the house was full of presents the night before they tied the knot.  Sadly, A lot of people just don't have much money these days - simple as that.


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## Bronte

Kildavin said:


> A previous poster spoke of inviting as many guests as possible; to maximise variable revenues against variable costs. Has anybody actually done this ?
> 
> (I also recall Eddie Hobbs' tv show also advising this for a cash-strapped couple)


 
My sister did this.


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## stephnyc

@bronte - did it work?

I got married in 2008 and we got a combination of cash & gifts - but no where near the cost of the wedding -  maybe the meal & drinks bit, but there can be a lot more to it than that.. 

I agree that people are no longer able to afford to be so generous - attending a wedding is an expensive thing - and I'm sorry to say I've started to dread getting invites


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## Janet

Bigbird said:


> Our first dance is still not sorted - still work in progress so if anyone knows anywhere good in NYC that would be suitable then please let me knows.   Thanks for advice and opinions.



A friend of mine lived in New York for a while and started a company called Wed in Central Park. Since you're looking to keep to a strict budget and not lose the run of yourselves a wedding planner is probably not what you're looking for but you might get some ideas from the blog entries of some of the weddings she's done. 

Disclaimer: This is someone who I knew personally when she lived in Germany for a couple of years before moving to the US. I've never used her services and can't offer an opinion on them.


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## Bigbird

Thanks a million!  We already have a wedding planner as part of the package.  She's recommending that we use a make-up artist that usually does the elopement weddings but it's costing €400.00 for hair and make-up (she does the hair too). Way too much in my opinion.  I'd be expecting a new head of hair for that kind of money and a new face to go with it.  I'm thinking of going to Saks & Co. and getting my make-up done by MAC for 50 bucks with a product thrown in.  Can't locate a number for MAC in Saks though or an email address.  If anyone knows how to contact them then great.  Also my hair.  I'll freak out if my hair isn't ok.  The minute you mention wedding or special occasion people are quoting 180 bucks.  Can anyone recommend a good salon that doesn't lose the plot when they hear the word wedding.  We are staying in a hotel at park avenue (between 49th and50th street Lexington avenue). Also the planner is looking for 170.00 dollars for my flowers!  Seems ridiculous.  Or maybe I'm being ridiculous.

We're delighted we're eloping as it's eliminating family politics too and a whole bunch of other stuff - happy days!


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## dymo

One thing getting yoour hair done in the usa is very expenisve i remeber being in vegas and a wash and blow dry was something like 60-70€$.I have looked at haveing a wash and blow dry and it is expenisve out there


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## Bigbird

Just for the record we're married.  Hurray!!  I managed to get the hair done for 60 buckaroos, which, for NYC is very good indeed! Got my nails done before leaving Ireland ( I went to a New York nail bar as I found out from voicemail that the owner is from NYC) and while getting the nails done I asked the owner could she recommend anyone. And she did.  Also, got the make up do in Saks & Co and she was amazing! Called the day after we arrived and booked it. They wouldn't take me at first but later (after a begging session) they agreed.  50 bucks by the way and a lipstick and lip liner thrown in!  And finally, the flower bill stretched to €240 with the wedding planner, so I cut my losses and bought a bunch from a side street florist and it cost us 15 bucks.  We went to a proper florist who offered to tidy them up and take one out to make a buttonhole  for my hubby.  We threw him 20 dollars for being so kind.  Sin an sceal.  

'Do not try at home' or some would say 'not for the faint hearted' but if you've the presence of mind to sweat it out then go for it!!!

For now, Adios amigos!

BB


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## niceoneted

Congrats and well done on all the savings.


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