# Looking for advice, gambling credit card debts etc



## CharlieMcC (13 Sep 2006)

Was just told by a friend tonight about this website and you came with glowing reviews! I’ve trawled through the posts and have found a few people in an amazingly similarly miserable financial position to my own. Made note of the advice, which was superb. 

But hoping some one might take a quick look at my figures and share your thoughts and maybe point me in the right direction in terms of starting to fix the mess I have created for myself.

You will see from the figures below that I have landed myself in shocking credit card debt, which is 99% due to online gambling – and it embarrasses me to even admit it. Largely through finding nomoregambling.com I haven’t bet a cent in 2 months (they block all access on your computer to gambling sites) and it feels fantastic. I’m still in deep trouble, but at least now I’m facing up to it and trying to deal with it. 

The figures below aren’t good, to say the least, and I’m finally recognising how much trouble I’m in. The only relief is that I’ve now acknowledged that I will NEVER EVER have a gambling win big enough to solve all my financial troubles, which is what I lived on before. Online gambling honestly repulses me now, it has no attraction any more, it simply gobbles up idiots like me.

(Off on a tangent….I’m okay, I have no children to support, but I wonder at the misery online gambling is causing people who do. Companies like Paddy Power and Ladbrokes at least display some responsibility, they allow customers to either stop themselves from using their sites or to limit their spending. Others, like Stan James, have no limits whatsoever. It really is shameful. I honestly have no sympathy for childless fools like myself, I should know better, but god knows what financial hell families are going through when one of their own is gambling away every penny they possess. If I lose my home I only have myself to worry about, these people end up destroying the lives of their partners and children. Where’s the nanny state when you need it?!)

I should point out, before I became an addict it seemed like I had money to burn, things were good, and I loved nothing more than treating my parents and nieces and nephews (sorry if that sounds spewy!). I now hate myself intensely for blowing it all and not being able to look after the ones I love – with your help I hope to get on the road to being in that position again. Some day.

*The figures – *

*Earnings: *varies between 2800 and 3500 a month (after tax), usually about 3200

*Savings: *0

*Current Account Overdraft: *4000 (usually in the red)

*Outgoings*:

Mortgage: 1200
Loan 1: 370 (1 yr left)
Loan 2: 380 (2.5 yrs left)
NTL: 116
Eircom: 100 (approx)
ESB: 75 (approx)
Gas: next to nothing in this warm weather (last bill less than E20)
Life Insurance: 42
House Insurance: 41

Other: as little as possible at the moment. I don’t drive, so no expenses there. I work from home, so have next to no transport costs. Work pays for my mobile phone. Modest food bills, next to no socialising these days. 

*Total*: 2600 approx (including misc outgoings)


*CC Debts*

Credit Card 1: 8000
Credit Card 2: 12000 (6000 of that was a balance transfer from CC1, 5 months left)

Have just been approved for a third credit card (CC3) which will allow me a 0% balance transfer (9 months) to the value of 6000. Will double check my interest rates and transfer from the dearer of my cards. Off the top of my head (I have the figures somewhere) I think that’s CC1, so:

I can clear 6000 from that CC1 8000 debt and, in a few months, should be able to clear it all (at which point I will rip it up).

*That would leave me owing*:

CC2: 12000 (6000 of which is that first balance transfer, 5 months left)
CC3: 6000 (9 months to clear)

Meantime, I’m not using my credit cards for anything, only paying in every spare cent I have. 

*House*: bought 2 yrs ago, paid 315,000, now worth 445,000.

What do you think?

Can I manage these debts or should I be looking at other options, like topping up my mortgage?

Is topping up my mortgage a possibility, considering my debts?

Should I speak to MABS? Had never heard of them until tonight, they’re advising my friend on her debts.

Sorry for the long windedness, when I start I don’t know when to stop. Would be endlessly thankful for your opinions, thank you.


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## HotdogsFolks (13 Sep 2006)

As someone who used to work in the gambling industry (a really really scummy heartless industry) and who likes to gamble the odd time, and who used to have a nice big CC debt, I can understand your situation.

I think it sounds like you have things under control. I really don't like the concept of moving unsecured debt to secured debt, but I think it is an option in your case. At least for the "peace of mind" it would be worth it.

Maybe a crazy suggestion, but would you consider selling your house, paying off your debts, and moving abroad? Can you do your "work from home" job anywhere? I know if I could work from home I'd be living in France now... Cheap houses, lovely people, lovely food, lovely weather, and very affordable living!

With time you'll have your debts paid off (whether you remortgage or not), but you've really got to never ever again gamble. Even on the obvious football game...


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## Raskolnikov (13 Sep 2006)

It takes a strong person to admit that they've made mistakes. Congratulations for acknowledging this. While your situation looks difficult, I can definitely see you getting out of it. The only way you'll manage it though is through hard graft and financial rectitude. My first step would be to cut the credit cards; or at very least, cut all but one. Credit cards have out you into the position you're in now, they won't get you out of it.

Straight away I see a couple of areas where you can save money.

NTL: 116

€116 a month for NTL? I'm guessing that you're subscribing to their premium tv package and broadband internet for that? Surely you live without that while you're organising your finances? Get rid of the telly package and downgrade to the cheapest broadband package that isn't metered! You'll be able to watch the sports on the internet for free and get your favourite tv shows too.

Eircom: 100 (approx)

My girlfriend and I did away with our landline. We now use phone cards and our mobiles. Can you really justify the expense of €25 quid a month to Eircom before you even make a call? 

You mentioned you have a house? Are you the sole occupant of your house? Have you considered renting a room out? If the idea of getting a dodgy tenant in dissuades you, why not lower the rate of the room slightly below market price so you can pick and choose the tenant? Once the credit card debt is sorted, turf the tenant out!

If there's a chance for overtime at work (you said your wage varies?) or any other way to increase your income then take it! Like the rent a room idea, it only has to be a temporary measure until the credit card debt it wiped out. 

Once you do all this, I would suggest that you arrange a meeting with your bank manager. Bring in a detailed list of incomes and expenditures. If you do the above, you should have at least €1,000 coming in every month that you can use to clear debt. You may be able to get a loan extension to clear your credit card bills. One thing standing against you though is that a bank will be very reluctant to lend you money with no history of savings.


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## Sherman (13 Sep 2006)

First things first you need to start going to [broken link removed] meetings by the sounds of it. You've admitted you have a serious problem, and you could probably get some valuable support etc. from them.


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## Havana (13 Sep 2006)

Well done on your progress so far, and best of luck with it all.

Am sure lots of the advice you read on other threads will be a great help to you- my only contribution would be that every month just before you get paid check how far into your overdraft you are, and if you haven't reached your €4000 limit could you ask your bank can they lower it to whatever amount its at?


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## Perplexed (13 Sep 2006)

every month just before you get paid check how far into your overdraft you are, and if you haven't reached your €4000 limit could you ask your bank can they lower it to whatever amount its at?

Can I just put a warning in here. Depending on which bank your a/c is with they may charge you penalties if you go over your o/d limit. I work with BOI & I've seen people clock up over €100 in charges over the space of a month precisely because they lowered their limit & then couldn't manage on it. Then because their credit rating had gone poorer the higher limit couldn't be reinstated. Be careful on this one.

Perhaps it would be a better idea if you have a "good" month to put extra into paying off your CC. Int rate on CC's are generally much higher than on O/D's

Maybe no harm to have a chat with your banker. We're not all heartless by the way,  & as you're obviously trying your best to get sorted he/she may she able to help you out with further suggestions. Like if you qualified for a larger loan to amalgamate your present borrowings & pay off all your credit cards it might make it all easier to manage. 

The very best of luck to you. You've taken the first step which is always the hardest


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

HotdogsFolks said:


> As someone who used to work in the gambling industry (a really really scummy heartless industry) and who likes to gamble the odd time, and who used to have a nice big CC debt, I can understand your situation.
> 
> I think it sounds like you have things under control. I really don't like the concept of moving unsecured debt to secured debt, but I think it is an option in your case. At least for the "peace of mind" it would be worth it.
> 
> ...


 
Many thanks for replying. I honestly have considered selling the house just so I could start again, but I've decided it will be a last resort because it took such an effort to buy somewhere in the first place. It was partly because of the fear of losing the house that I began to cop myself on, so we'll see how it goes. It remains an option though, especially if I can't make any serious inroads in to that debt.

There's nowhere I'd love to live more than France (my definition of heaven on earth!) but it's not an option for now, work requires me to be based in Dublin and there are other family commitments that keep me here. 

Thank you again for the reply, much appreciated.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

Raskolnikov said:


> It takes a strong person to admit that they've made mistakes. Congratulations for acknowledging this. While your situation looks difficult, I can definitely see you getting out of it. The only way you'll manage it though is through hard graft and financial rectitude. My first step would be to cut the credit cards; or at very least, cut all but one. Credit cards have out you into the position you're in now, they won't get you out of it.
> 
> Straight away I see a couple of areas where you can save money.
> 
> ...


 

Thank you so much for this brilliant advice – and encouragement.

I genuinely have barely used my CCs for anything in the last couple of months, not since I quit gambling, all I’m doing now is putting whatever I have spare in to the accounts to reduce the debt. My aim is to clear two accounts as quickly as possible and then close them, rip up the cards. When/if I finally clear them all I don’t think I’ll use one again, I don’t think I’d ever trust myself again.

I will definitely do something to reduce those NTL/Eircom bills, you’re right, they’re needless luxuries at this stage that I need to dump.

I will also look in to renting a room. Until now it’s been tricky because a cousin who works in Dublin a few days a month uses the spare room (rent free….I haven’t had the heart to charge!), but I’m going to have to be a bit more ruthless. 

I’m not sure how the bank will view me at this stage. Until this gambling habit erupted (about six months ago) my finances were excellent, cc cleared completely every month, never late with loan repayments, etc. I had a decent savings record but used it all for the deposit on my house.

Will act on your advice, endless thanks again.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

Sherman said:


> First things first you need to start going to [broken link removed] meetings by the sounds of it. You've admitted you have a serious problem, and you could probably get some valuable support etc. from them.


 
Thank you for the reply. I have thought about going to GA but the prospect terrifies me, I'm convincing myself that I don't need it, that I'm already out of the habit so I don't need help. But I think you're right, you don't just snap out of these things overnight, the risk of going back to it all is there. I think I'm just going to have to be brave enough to contact them.

Thank you again.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

Havana said:


> Well done on your progress so far, and best of luck with it all.
> 
> Am sure lots of the advice you read on other threads will be a great help to you- my only contribution would be that every month just before you get paid check how far into your overdraft you are, and if you haven't reached your €4000 limit could you ask your bank can they lower it to whatever amount its at?


 
Thank you Havana, sincerely appreciate your advice and good wishes. When I start to make some progress on dealing with the debt I intend reducing my overdaft and CC limits to the bare minimum so that I never have the opportunity again to get in to this kind of mess. My cc company kept upping my limit, needless to say without me requesting a rise, over the years because I was a good customer, but bit by bit I want to get it back down to no more than a E1000. For now I will need that E4000 overdraft facility but will reduce that too when I get sorted out. 

Thank you again.


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## liteweight (14 Sep 2006)

Could I just redirect you to Perplexed's post re lowering your OD limit. S/he makes a very good point. The problem is not with the limit, it's that you're living up to it! This is a very easy habit to fall into. When you NEED it, it's invaluable. I have limits of 10K on credit card, like you, they keep upping it. I never spend more than a few K and even then, only to pay for items that I have already saved for and so can clear the card immediately. Good Luck.


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## ClubMan (14 Sep 2006)

Indeed - it may be unfashionable in some quarters but it's not a bad idea to live within - or even below - one's means if at all possible. And for most people these days it is possible.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

Perplexed said:


> every month just before you get paid check how far into your overdraft you are, and if you haven't reached your €4000 limit could you ask your bank can they lower it to whatever amount its at?
> 
> Can I just put a warning in here. Depending on which bank your a/c is with they may charge you penalties if you go over your o/d limit. I work with BOI & I've seen people clock up over €100 in charges over the space of a month precisely because they lowered their limit & then couldn't manage on it. Then because their credit rating had gone poorer the higher limit couldn't be reinstated. Be careful on this one.
> 
> ...


 
Hello Perplexed, thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply. I'm desperately hoping that it's you I'll meet if I make an appointment with the bank! 

I'm having a lorry-load of forms sent out to me today after talking with my mortgage broker about topping up my mortgage. Really not sure if this is the sensible option but for roughly an extra E200 a month on my mortgage it would give me E20,000 to clear all my debts and start afresh. 

Will study the small print to see how much it will cost me in the long term, but he seemed to think I would definitely be approved (largely because of the increased value in my house). We'll see how it goes, desperate times, desperate measures, and all that.

Thank you again, you're great.


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## liteweight (14 Sep 2006)

You could always make an arrangement to pay off this 20K on the mortgage as quickly as possible.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

ClubMan said:


> Indeed - it may be unfashionable in some quarters but it's not a bad idea to live within - or even below - one's means if at all possible. And for most people these days it is possible.


 
Of course! But not possible when you're an idiot of a compulsive gambler!


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

liteweight said:


> You could always make an arrangement to pay off this 20K on the mortgage as quickly as possible.


 
Hi Liteweight, thank you for the advice. As I mentioned above my mortgage broker reckoned I would be approved for a 20,000 top-up - I really don't know anything about the options on this kind of thing, would it be possible, do you think, to 'borrow' this top-up for considerably less time than the 25 remaining years of my mortgage?!


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## ClubMan (14 Sep 2006)

Sorry - that wasn't a barb aimed at you but rather just me agreeing with _liteweight _on a hobby horse of mine...

Just curious - you say that the "gambling habit" arose 6 months ago but you have not gambled in about two months. That means about 4 months of a splurge to land you in this situation. That hardly sounds like an endemic gambling compulsion or addiction unless the details are incorrect. Perhaps you are looking for an explanation for your lack of control over your finances and are maybe pinning too much of the blame on the gambling and not accepting that there may be other, perhaps more mundane, factors at work here?

Whatever about that perhaps something transient sparked this behaviour off and, if that's the case, then perhaps it would be worth addressing these issues? For what it's worth I would suggest that you have a look at Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as a potential way to address flawed/illogical thinking and destructive behaviour patterns. This is not a substitute for professional help where it is warranted but it may be useful to you all the same. The [broken link removed] link in that _Wikipedia _article gives a good flavour of what it's all about. Just bear in mind that _CBT _is not a quick fix and does take committment and effort.


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## liteweight (14 Sep 2006)

CharlieMcC said:


> Hi Liteweight, thank you for the advice. As I mentioned above my mortgage broker reckoned I would be approved for a 20,000 top-up - I really don't know anything about the options on this kind of thing, would it be possible, do you think, to 'borrow' this top-up for considerably less time than the 25 remaining years of my mortgage?!



Yes it's possible. Otherwise, if you feel you'd be better to take the top up over 25 yrs., you can still pay regular lump sums off it, thereby bringing down the term. Make sure you clarify this with your mortgage broker i.e. that you can pay lump sums without penalty.


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## CharlieMcC (14 Sep 2006)

ClubMan said:


> Sorry - that wasn't a barb aimed at you but rather just me agreeing with _liteweight _on a hobby horse of mine...
> 
> Just curious - you say that the "gambling habit" arose 6 months ago but you have not gambled in about two months. That means about 4 months of a splurge to land you in this situation. That hardly sounds like an endemic gambling compulsion or addiction unless the details are incorrect. Perhaps you are looking for an explanation for your lack of control over your finances and are maybe pinning too much of the blame on the gambling and not accepting that there may be other, perhaps more mundane, factors at work here?
> 
> Whatever about that perhaps something transient sparked this behaviour off and, if that's the case, then perhaps it would be worth addressing these issues? For what it's worth I would suggest that you have a look at Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as a potential way to address flawed/illogical thinking and destructive behaviour patterns. This is not a substitute for professional help where it is warranted but it may be useful to you all the same. The [broken link removed] link in that _Wikipedia _article gives a good flavour of what it's all about. Just bear in mind that _CBT _is not a quick fix and does take committment and effort.


 
Hi Clubman, no problem about the barb, before all of this I scoffed at people who lived beyond their means, but I had a cosy existance then, earned enough for a comfortable life, it's only now (through my OWN stupidity) that I'm seeing it from the other side, this miserable stuff happens to the best of people, and before they know it, it spirals out of control.

My timespan estimates on all of this are rough, to say the least, but it takes a lot less than 4 months to land yourself in this kind of trouble - one night can do it. Read an American forum last night and one guy lost 250,000 in ONE week! That was more than he had just received from the estate of a dead aunt - one month he was a wealthy man, a month later he owed 50,000 to gun-toting loan sharks!! Frightening......and I thought I was badly off.

So, no, honestly, I'm not using gambling as a scapegoat for all of this, as I said in my original post it is 99% to 'blame' for my current debts. If that was't the case I would own up, but that's the beauty of anonymity, you can be 100% honest, there's nothing to gain from fibbing. I had everything beautifully under control before this, with enough spare cash for a pleasant life, but then I mucked it all up.

I think what sparked it started as a bit of a laugh, dabbled with a bit of online gambling (as recommended by friends, who bet no more than a tenner a month). But I won BIG in the first week or two, so assumed it was easy money. The rest.......you can guess. I have since learnt that this is a regular 'tactic' of these companies, when you start off they reward you lavishly, but then it's all downhill. And I fell for it.

Thank you so much for the links to those therapy websites, I am grateful for ANY help or suggestions at the moment, so will look them up tonight (late night working, late start tomorrow, so plenty of time for sleep!). I honestly don't know where this insane addiction came from, I never had any problems of this kind before, so I'm terrified that it's just something in there that could come again.

Once again, thank you.


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## 1stepatatime (14 Sep 2006)

have you installed gamblock? this software stops you from going onto gambling websites! its good and really works... there are a few websites out there that deals with gambling problems and ive found that these have helped me in dealing with my problem...dont just assume that because you havent gambled anything in 2 months that your "cured" because once you get your finances in order and you have a tiny bit of money on your credit card...you think one more bet and thats it..

best thing that i did is email all the websites that i went on and gambled.. told them to close all my accounts, a lot of emails i got back said that they would close my account and bar my credit cards and THEN i installed gamblock


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## ClubMan (14 Sep 2006)

CharlieMcC said:


> So, no, honestly, I'm not using gambling as a scapegoat for all of this, as I said in my original post it is 99% to 'blame' for my current debts.


Fair enough. Just thought it might be an idea to double check that you were not identifying the wrong cause of your financial issues.


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## r2d2 (15 Sep 2006)

CharlieMc,

I'm not a finacially orientated person so I can't help you on that. What I can do is give you some firsthand advice re; gambling. In his late 20's my brother developed a lust from gambling....It got way out of control and cost him his job and almost his marraige. I worked through it with him, I went to the counselling sessions etc. But please be aware that there is a strong chance that when you sort out your debt issues you will jump back into gambling if you don't get professional help.....People do crazy things when there is an addiction involved and the problem with gambling as opposed to drink or drugs is that you don't fall over...You can keep going and going and going.....It doesn't make any credible sense to anyone who's never had exposure to this problem. I would wholeheartedly recommend counselling....It was desperately important. We saw and spoke with people who had lost everything. We met guys who had been Senior Managers/Directors who had broken into neighbours houses to fund their addiction. It made my brother realise that he was very very lucky to have done something about it at that stage. 

From what I've read you have a lot of work to do regarding your debt but you are also very lucky to still have your house and your sanity and this really could be the start of your 'new' stress free life....Be aware though that gamblers have an amazing ability to talk themselves in and out of 'great' ideas time after time. Please please please go and get professional help, these people are 100% non judgemental and are as understanding and human as you could ask for. If you would like to PM me I can point you in the direction of the guy we used.

Take care,

r2d2


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## Perplexed (17 Sep 2006)

I'm glad you found my advice useful.

A mortgage top up like you were enquiring about might well be a solution. As long as your mortgage is at a variable rate you won't have a penalty for lodging lump sums if/when they become available. As long as it's not beyond your means to pay it. The worst thing anyone can possibly do for their credit rating is to miss a mtge payment.

You obviously have kept reasonably on top of things or you wouldn't 
a) be offered another cr card or 
b) be considered by your broker as likely to get a mortgage top up

So well done, in spite of your present problems, you've actually gotten your act together before you ruined your chances of being able to straighten yourself out. You could have lost a good credit rating, got behind on mtge repayments & lost your house. The end result could have been a total disaster...

Your ability to cop yourself on will stand in good stead to you & I'm sure once you set your mind to it & live frugally for a while you'll be sorted before you know it.

From a bankers perspective, we have the most problems with people who either won't admit they have a problem or won't listen to advice & you don't fall into either of those categories.

 best wishes


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## CharlieMcC (27 Oct 2006)

Evening everyone (although I reckon I'm alone at this hour!),

Just to update those who were kind enough to offer advice when I first posted, things are looking a whole lot healthier - thanks to your help.

There's still a long way to go with my debts, I'm far from out of the woods, but having stopped gambling and having tightened my belt to near-non-breathing point I'm now eating in to my debts to the point where I can finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. And it feels great.

Once a gambler, always a gambler, I doubt you ever truly get it out of your system, but I've contacted four online gambling companies to ensure that they will block my credit cards in case I'm ever tempted again. Three did it no problem, the fourth took some persuading, but they finally relented when I told them I would speak to the media about them. I'm relieved, I was afraid I would have to star on Joe Duffy's show  

You quickly learn never to trust yourself again, so contacting these companies and using the gambling blocker I mentioned before at least ensures that it will be damn hard to gamble again with an online company.

To the many people who sent me private messages wishing me luck and admitting to similar problems I say thank you, and I hope any advice I offered (largely of the second hand variety, ie taken off this board!) was helpful.

On the subject of private messages - it worried me that so many of these people were reluctant to post their problems on this website because of the less than helpful and depressingly judgemental comments that some contributors (one in particular) make/made when others owned up to the mess they created for themselves. All I would ask is that if you have no understanding of the addiction that is gambling or if you are not prepared to acknowledge that even admitting to the problem is a huge step then *please* do not get involved in the discussion. Six months ago, or so, I would have scoffed at someone with gambling problems, I honestly would have dismissed them as wasters, but having succumbed myself I know now how miserably easy it is to do.

Please leave this board to people who are willing to offer good advice, don't use it as a platform to scoff at others less fortunate and wise just to make yourself feel better.

That's it. Thank you again to all who offered good advice, you'll never know just how invaluable it was.


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## ajapale (27 Oct 2006)

CharlieMcC said:


> That's it. Thank you again to all who offered good advice, you'll never know just how invaluable it was.



Hi Charile,

Since this thread has reached a conclusion I will close it now.

aj


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