# How much are people putting in the card for communion these days?



## Concert (22 May 2009)

How much are people putting in the card for communion these days.  My elderly mother is giving 100 to my cousins daughter, I feel this is al ot considering we have three communions and two confirmations this year.  Dont want to be miserable either.


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## mosstown (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

gave €50 to my nephew and then his parents sent €50 to my daughter for her communion !!


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## Graham_07 (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I'm sorry but I think €100 is just totally over the top to what is your mothers nephew's/niece's daughter. I even think €50 in that situation to be more than enough. She is a pensioner, I don't think "miserable" enters into it. I'd be putting €20 into the card and if they have a problem with that then they have a poor view of the whole occasion.

Alternatively, she could steer away completely from the money by giving the child a nice communion related present. That way money doesn't enter into it.


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## sandrat (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

This post will be deleted if not edited immediately any chance i can make my communion again? I'm finding it hard for people to give me a fiver to do the mini marathon for crumlin


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## DeeFox (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I think €100 for an eight year old is ridiculous.  I've hear that the "going rate" is between €20 and €50 depending on relationship with child.  I've never been to a Communion (as an adult) but I have absolutely no intention of giving out this amount of money to children.  How about a few scratch cards inside the card instead of cash?


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## Romulan (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I'd say €50 max if related but €20 if not close family.

Always though, start with what you can afford and no apologies.

Why not some book tokens?


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## Graham_07 (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*



Romulan said:


> Why not some book tokens?


 
Very good idea.


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## sam h (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I'd agree with the idea of a pressie from close family members & I encouraged this as much as possible.  My son made his First Communion recently & (of those who didn;t give a pressie) family generally gave €30 to €50 (one exception from a god parent who forgets birthdays & xmas all the time !!).
Close friends €20 to €30 & some neighbours, €10-€20.


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## Tomodinhio (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

From the childs perspective, id say give me the money, she'll get a good start on all her friends in the makin lots of money day that makes the church so great.


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## cleverclogs7 (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

That is far to much.my daughter made her communion last sunday.i put 40e in her card and family and friends gave her 10-20e  . its not all about the money.the kids just want to spend the money in smyths toy store.or on junk.


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## NicolaM (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

€50 was the standard about 5 years ago, when one of my friend's children was making their communion.
That was completely over the top, I thought.
He just made his confirmation now, and I gave him €20 in a card.
(He specifically said he only wanted money, not gifts!!!).
I think it's a bad lesson to give children too much money for their communion/confirmation, but I wouldn't be brave enough to just give the card! 

Nicola


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## shoegal (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I wouldn't dream of giving a seven or eight year old money. I would give a card and a little present.


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## wishbone (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

Bloody hell - we gave a tenner at the last one...I thought that was plenty, it is supposed to be a religious occasion...gosh if everyone else gave min 20, we must've looked awful...oh well...


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## NicolaM (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

But isn't that part of the problem: People feel they need to give X amount, because everyone else is.

This is part of the whole excessiveness that came with the Celtic Tiger, which was not good for children. Hopefully this will all stop now.

Nicola (a newfound Grinch)


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## DeeFox (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*



wishbone said:


> Bloody hell - we gave a tenner at the last one...I thought that was plenty, it is supposed to be a religious occasion...gosh if everyone else gave min 20, we must've looked awful...oh well...


 
I get what you're saying here and have said it myself plenty of times... but, when you think about it ,look awful to who?  Are the parents of the child really saying to themselves "Oh, so and so is just so mean" or is it the child who is saying "so and so is a right tightwad!"  And if they are saying this then that is a poor reflection on them.
I was talking to a colleague and she was saying she would never give less than €50 for a communion because she doesn't want to look mean.  But none of us are too worried about looking mean when the charity boxes do the rounds and they are ofter a far more worthy cause than a spending spree in Smiths Toys for an 8 year old.


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## AgathaC (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*



DeeFox said:


> I get what you're saying here and have said it myself plenty of times... but, when you think about it ,look awful to who? Are the parents of the child really saying to themselves "Oh, so and so is just so mean" or is it the child who is saying "so and so is a right tightwad!" And if they are saying this then that is a poor reflection on them.
> I was talking to a colleague and she was saying she would never give less than €50 for a communion because she doesn't want to look mean. But none of us are too worried about looking mean when the charity boxes do the rounds and they are ofter a far more worthy cause than a spending spree in Smiths Toys for an 8 year old.


+1. Going back to the OP's question re giving 100 euro, I would consider that way too much. I think you have to consider how many of these events you are going to be giving gifts for, in any one year. Also in the current climate most of us are trying to live on less money so we have to think about what we can afford to give rather than worrying about how it looks to others.


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## cleverclogs7 (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

you did right.its not all about the money.


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## Concert (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

Totally agree with you all.  Have spoken to my mam and now she will give 40, more than enough I think. Thanks


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## Complainer (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

Give them some time - take the kid(s) out for an outing some time after the big day, maybe the cinema or zoo or meal or whatever. That gives the mums and dads a little break too.


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## allthedoyles (22 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

I know this is not really in the opening question, but do everyone realise that it is normal nowadays , for the parents of the child receiving communion to provide '' refreshments and entertainment'' in a local hotel/restaurant.

This comes at a huge cost , depending on how many you 'invite '

Communion/confirmation lunches range in price from € 10 per head to up to € 25 per head .

I am sure that some of the cost of this is partly offset with a 'contribution' from the child in question


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## gerpug (23 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*

My friends daughter was given 200e recently for her communion from her godmother . My friend felt this was completely OTT so gave most of it back. Think she let her keep about 40e or so. 200e is a ridiculous amount to be giving any child that age! 
I gave my godchild 50e  (that her mum added to a savings account for her) and took her out for an afternoon- went to cinema and then out for dinner to wherever she wanted to go to!! She was given a certain amount of the money she had received to do whatever she wanted with it (within reason) and the rest was put away for her.


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## sam h (23 May 2009)

*Re: Communion money*



allthedoyles said:


> I am sure that some of the cost of this is partly offset with a 'contribution' from the child in question


 
Are you suggesting that the parents are taking money off their kids to cover the cost of the celebration??  I must get an invoice ready for my young fella!!!

Personally I've never heard of anyone getting a "contribution" from the child.  

It is a day of celebration for families, some go out some stay at home.  Hopefully parents spend within their means.


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## aislingeorge (23 May 2009)

I was at a communion last weekend and we gave €20.00 and this is to my husbands nephew (a very close family)
And we all brought some salads to the house and his mum made curry and salads! I think it was a great day...bouncing castle and salads and sweeties for the kids eveyone enjoyed it and didn't cost too much i'm sure!


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## Armada (23 May 2009)

Depending on how well I kmow the child, I give up to €50 in the form of cinema vouchers.


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## Black Sheep (24 May 2009)

I just can't believe what I am reading here. E100 or more to an 8 year old. What would they do with it.???????? 
Go to the toy shop to buy their favourite toys 
Hand it over to parents to put in the bank for them
Or why do we try to fix every thing with money

It's a while since my kids were that age but I hadn't realised I was that much out of touch


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## NicolaM (24 May 2009)

You're not out of touch Black Sheep.

It's everyone else that has lost the run of themselves.
It's pure excessiveness, and one of my pet bug bears. (That along with the fact that every child** now seems to have a god given right to possess a mobile phone, an iPod, and several Nintenso/Playstation/Wiis each, each costing rather a lot of money.)

Nicola

**even 7-8 year olds, and younger


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## sam h (24 May 2009)

> What would they do with it.????????
> Go to the toy shop to buy their favourite toys
> Hand it over to parents to put in the bank for them


 
I'd agree it has gone ridiculous, but it's very hard to stop.  For my kids, I let them choose to buy one decent thing (spent about €50) & the rest went straight into the credit union.  They hate the CU 'cos they reckon once it goes in there, it never come out!!! 

The one I found strange this year, was when someone asked me how much had I given my own child - I had never heard of such a thing, but apparently it's getting more common now.  I try not to make the day all about "what money they will get" and more about the Communion & the opportunity to celebrate the day with family & friends.


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## samanthajane (24 May 2009)

I must be the tightest person in Ireland because I have never given any money to anyone doing communion or confirmation!

My own god-daughter had her communion last week and didn't get a penny from me. 

Although last year i did give €300 to my god-daughters mother ( my best friend ) for her son's communion but, this was to pay for the meal afterwards because she and her husband were going through a very rough patch. But i dont class this as giving to her son's communion, I was helping out a very good friend. 

I'm not tight really i just dont believe in giving money, it's meant to be about more than that. 

I have decided than both my children will not be doing either their communion or confirmation because of this. I never step foot in a church unless it is a communion, wedding, funeral ect. I just dont believe in any of it, although i am very respectful when i'm in a church, and i respect that for some people it is a very important day. 

My son is not bothered about this at all and said he doesn't even want to do it. He's 9 now so should of made his communion last year. 

My daughter (6) on the other hand has said that she does want to do it...and doesn't want to get any money. She wants to do it more to get all dressed up. 

Not sure if i will let her do it... i think i probably will but the rules are still the same, she's not allowed to accept any money from anyone, and she'll be wearing all my god-daughters outfit from this year. This outfit brand new worn only for a few hours came to €800!!!! I nearly fell off my chair when her mum told me what the total cost was. 

I will never spend €800 on one outfit that wont be worn again for my 8 year old.

And i wont be spending 100's on a meal afterwards...few drinks and maybe a bbq afterwards and that will be it.


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## Chocks away (24 May 2009)

Good for you samanthajane. This is really an industry in itself. Parents -  mothers especially - should wise up. A nice family get together, food and photos. Remember the dress will look out of date or even maybe kitsch in years to come.


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## boris (25 May 2009)

Was at my nephews (by marriage) communion yesterday.  His birthday was on the same day.  When I gave him his present of Lego and the card (with money) he was more interested in the Lego.  I was impressed!!

I was even more impressed when he did eventually open his envelopes and offered all the money inside to his Mammy to buy a new car (there is nothing wrong with the one she has either).  Nice to see a generous child like that.


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## liaconn (30 May 2009)

I think €10 if its a neighbour, €20 if its a relative and around €50 to a Godchild should be more than enough for an 8 yr old. My Goddaughter made her Communion last Saturday and I gave her a bracelet with her name and the date engraved on it. Total cost €55.

I think people are going to have to understand that their friends and relatives just cannot afford anymore to handover the ridiculous amounts of money that have been prevalent over the past few years. If you and your partner had one Godchild, two nieces and a neighbour's child all making their Communion this month and were expected to give €50 - €100 to each one, you would be looking at around €200 - €250 out of your monthly budget, just on Communion presents. Crazy.


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## TillyD (30 May 2009)

I do give money for communions and I enjoy giving it. Whether we like it or not, a lot of it is about the money for a most 8yr olds and what about it. There is enough crap, sadness and **** times in the world going on so I don't see the big deal in giving kids a few bob and letting them enjoy spending it on whatever they want. 

We give €50 for a GodChild, €30 to other relations and €10/20 to friends children depending on how close we are to them. 

When my own child makes it I won't try to make it about the money. I will tell her not to open cards in front of anyone or talk about how much 'she made' but I will tell her to say thank you to every person who bought her a gift or give her money in a card. I wouldn't dream of giving anyone back a gift/money that they wanted to give in the first place.


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