# Wife wants separation but won't contribute towards mortgage and bills



## Lauguna (19 Jul 2013)

My wife earns approximately the same as me plus has the childrens allowance for our 5 kids which she stashes in her bank account each month, i.e. not spent on the kids but on her latest smartphone, tablet computer, digital camera, weekends/weeks away with whomever etc.  She has never contributed towards the mortgage and so I'm left paying this each month which takes 50% of my net monthly income.  I also have to pay all the other bills and I'm the one who brings the kids out to the cinema, etc.  In other words, she pays for nothing and only spends on herself.  Ok I know I'm bitter but she's living the highlife, having a wonderful time while I'm flat broke trying to keep a roof over my kids heads.  Now she wants me to move out but to keep paying for everything, plus try to find somewhere else to live.  And for the record, I've done nothing wrong, i.e. never been unfaithful, never abused her in any manner, gave her everything.

Can she be made to pay half the mortgage and bills as her net monthly income, incl. the children's allowance is approx €2,800 which all goes on herself.  I've threatened to only lodge half the mortgage amount and so it won't get paid but she has called my bluff on this.  I'm the type who pays his bills no matter what and I don't want to get a bad credit rating but she co-signed the mortgage and so she has a 50% liability to pay it, doesn't she????


----------



## peteb (19 Jul 2013)

Not really. You are both liable for the mortage so if one doesnt pay, the bank will pursue the other or both.  They aren't too fussed as your domestic matters.  So you either stop altogether and affect your credit rating.  Or you continue to pay if you don't want it affected.


----------



## PaddyBloggit (19 Jul 2013)

Just thinking aloud .... could OP get a court order compelling his wife to pay her half?


----------



## ClaireM (19 Jul 2013)

Does she have any sort of court order requiring you to move out? If not don't move if you don't want to.

Who pays for food, childcare etc?


----------



## Markswoman (19 Jul 2013)

Have you proof it is solely you paying the mortgage and bills or are they being paid from a joint account?


----------



## twofor1 (19 Jul 2013)

Lauguna said:


> My wife earns approximately the same as me plus has the childrens allowance for our 5 kids which she stashes in her bank account each month.....
> 
> Can she be made to pay half the mortgage and bills as her net monthly income, incl. the children's allowance is approx €2,800 which all goes on herself......


 
What you have posted would suggest your net monthly income is roughly €2,130, of which half you say goes on the mortgage, leaving roughly €1,065 monthly for everything else, utilities, transport, food, clothes, childcare, medical, school plus many more expenses.

I can’t see how you can do this, are you sure your wife is not paying for more than you think?


----------



## burmo (19 Jul 2013)

Definitely don't move out of the house if you don't want to.


----------



## Lucuma (19 Jul 2013)

PaddyBloggit said:


> Just thinking aloud .... could OP get a court order compelling his wife to pay her half?



Assuming they are jointly and severally liable for the mortgage, then No.


----------



## Lucuma (19 Jul 2013)

Lauguna said:


> Can she be made to pay half the mortgage and bills as her net monthly income, incl. the children's allowance is approx €2,800 which all goes on herself.  I've threatened to only lodge half the mortgage amount and so it won't get paid but she has called my bluff on this.  I'm the type who pays his bills no matter what and I don't want to get a bad credit rating but she co-signed the mortgage and so she has a 50% liability to pay it, doesn't she????



If your wife earns the same amount as you then there's absolutely no reason why you should contribute any more than 50%? I would suggest that if you move out, stop contributing to the bills immediately. The letters from the ESB etc will be coming to her letterbox so it will be her problem to deal with. Explain to her that you will have to pay your own bills in your new place. 

As for the mortgage, that's a stickier one. If you're not willing to let your credit rating get damaged, then you're stuck paying that off in full for the forseeable future. However if that is all you pay i.e. she has to pay all bills and maintain the kids, and your contribution is to pay the mortgage, then it could even out? 

I'd watch out about moving out in the first place though, until you have more clarity on why your wife wants this break up. When my relationship broke down I -trying to do the decent thing -moved out and there was a new man moved in with her & my kids within a fortnight. I'm not saying that is the case with you (I hope not) but thought I'd tip you off just in case.


----------



## partnership (31 Jul 2013)

Stay in the house and go to mediation to sort it all out.


----------

