# Child Maintenance Amount



## dodo (21 Mar 2019)

Just seeking advice on child maintenance payments for 3 teenager's.

Fathers  monthly salary net 3400 after pension.
Mothers monthly salary net which includes 280 children's allowance  and primary carer credits, 3300.
House bills monthly 1400
Food  monthly bill    1200
Currenly I pay 750 a month and go 50% for school fees,uniforms,school books, concert tickets,  now it seems not enough for her as we arranged this ourselves now i think i need to get more advice. So just wondering


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## Feemar5 (22 Mar 2019)

750 a month for three teenagers seems very reasonable- have you seen how much they eat! Who gives them pocket money and pays for their phones, music etc.,   Who pays the monthly house bills and food bill.   If their mother does then she is quite entitled to ask for extra cash.   In any event you should try and sort it out between you and avoid legal costs.


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## luckystar (22 Mar 2019)

What are the fathers outgoings? Unfortunately with teens there are a lot more costs than just food and school. Mediation might be a good idea if you can't come to an agreement


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## dodo (22 Mar 2019)

Mediation we tried and must say would not recommend, last 4 months as parts of the 50% for other things I have paid 1450 E, eg Grinds,Tickets debs deposit, so as I out of house about 5 months that works out at about another 300 a month. The main issue is their mother could not budget if her life depended on it so I don't think I can ever give enough money as some people are not good with budgeting. So that is why I think I might have to get a legal amount that I pay. Is there a rule of thumb. The bills,goods I gave are even on the high size to be honest as when there was 5 of us the outgoings were 2200 a month but now seem to have got bigger which now only 4 people should have gone lower.


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## Laughahalla (24 Mar 2019)

Food bill of 1200 per month seems excessive. We are a family of 4 and spend less than half that and eat very well.

There is no way the same lifestyle can be maintained like when ye were one unit.
You need to see a detailed budget. Otherwise you'll be getting asked for more in 6 months time.

The luxuries will need to be reduced. One of the unfortunate realities of the break up.

It might seem harsh but once you are divorced your relationship with your x should be like a business relationship.


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## Maz2408 (24 Mar 2019)

Why not agree on shared custody! 3 days then 4 days for each parent so household and food costs are or should be 50/50.  You can then both agree to split school costs and any other outlays that the Children require 50/50 as well.


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## dodo (27 Mar 2019)

Maz2408 No option to jointly share ,

Laughahalla, 1200 is excessive you are correct, I think the more money I give the more she will not budget. the mortgage is only 430 E a month but it you having last 2 gas bills coming in at over 400E for a standard 3 bedroom that never was over 260e in the winter when I lived there.That is why I curious if we went to court what is going rate. I was told between 65-80 Euro I would have to give by other guys in similar situations. but would not know there mortgage. Now she decides not to pay her 50% of 600 for grinds which is 300 so I no choice but to pay, this life get you down


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## Feemar5 (27 Mar 2019)

If you both had agreed to split grinds 50/50 then she cannot just change her mind - can you deduct the €300 from the money you give her.    It looks like you would need a third party to decide what is fair. You both need to think of what is best for the children -I know it is easy for me to say as I am not involved.   According to your side of the story it would appear that your ex wife is not a good money manager but she may feel that she has all the responsibility and is not sticking to a budget.


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## deranne (1 Apr 2019)

Is mothers salary inclusive of 750 pm maintenance? 
Are you divorced?  Main asset of the house, is it still in your name or both?
I'm not an expert but what I do know is 1200pm on food is ludicrous. 
Don't go in all hard nosed, go for mediation and see what arrangements you can come to.  You don't want to be 5 years down the line not being able to sit side by side during a graduation ceremony or other life events.


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## Purple (1 Apr 2019)

Tell her to stop doing the grocery shopping in M&S. Even €800 a month on groceries is excessive.
Is the mortgage, mobile phones etc included in the €1400 in monthly bills?  If not then how on earth are they so high?
Are you paying rent? What are your living arrangements? You are entitled to provide a home for you and your children. Net income for both parties should be calculated after housing costs.


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## dodo (2 Apr 2019)

Purple said:


> Tell her to stop doing the grocery shopping in M&S. Even €800 a month on groceries is excessive.
> Is the mortgage, mobile phones etc included in the €1400 in monthly bills?  If not then how on earth are they so high?
> Are you paying rent? What are your living arrangements? You are entitled to provide a home for you and your children. Net income for both parties should be calculated after housing costs.


The 1400E was figure I put down as worst case but after exporting bank account to excel the standing orders that get paid every month totals 1200 which includes everything phones etc, I still waiting for food confirmation from her who used to say she could feed a family of 5 for 60E a week how things change,  So I have said to her of the 1200 divide by 4 and multiple by 3 for my 3 girls which is 900 then divide by 2 ie 2 parents, then I should pay 450E for Bill a month then just see what the food bill is, then also said I go 50% for anything else eg school books,concerts, .


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## dodo (2 Apr 2019)

Feemar5 said:


> If you both had agreed to split grinds 50/50 then she cannot just change her mind - can you deduct the €300 from the money you give her.    It looks like you would need a third party to decide what is fair. You both need to think of what is best for the children -I know it is easy for me to say as I am not involved.   According to your side of the story it would appear that your ex wife is not a good money manager but she may feel that she has all the responsibility and is not sticking to a budget.


In fairness to her she is useless with money and always was but is good mother, I take the 300E on the chin as just easier tbh. tired mediation before and found them not to be good as would not give any advice on amount,  I thought there be an excel format and you put in all details ,bills, net salaries etc and amount Between 800-1000 then you could try work from that amount.Cheers


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## dodo (2 Apr 2019)

Purple said:


> Tell her to stop doing the grocery shopping in M&S. Even €800 a month on groceries is excessive.
> Is the mortgage, mobile phones etc included in the €1400 in monthly bills?  If not then how on earth are they so high?
> Are you paying rent? What are your living arrangements? You are entitled to provide a home for you and your children. Net income for both parties should be calculated after housing costs.


Is there a average for family of 4 to eat for a week, tried searching but could not find anything. 900 I would except to keep her happy, 900/4*3/2 parents = 337.5E I would pay, I should only pay 50% of my daughters costs I think and she pays for herself and 50% of her daughters. Cheers


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## Purple (2 Apr 2019)

Are you planning on moving in somewhere and also providing a place for your children when/if they are with you? If so don't commit to paying bills that you will have to duplicate.


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## Purple (2 Apr 2019)

dodo said:


> Is there a average for family of 4 to eat for a week, tried searching but could not find anything. 900 I would except to keep her happy, 900/4*3/2 parents = 337.5E I would pay, I should only pay 50% of my daughters costs I think and she pays for herself and 50% of her daughters. Cheers


I have 4 kids who are with me half the time. I spend less than €100 a week on groceries including toiletries etc. I did keep it under €80 a week when I had to.


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## Laughahalla (3 Apr 2019)

We are a family of 4 and spend less than 135 per week on our grocery shop. That includes toiletries.


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## dodo (5 Apr 2019)

Purple: I did move into a house and shared with landlord but did not suit me financially or mentally to be on my own and no option to have my kids over night, now back with folks and will remain there by the looks of it which suits parents and myself , On the amount for food I exported all places she shops from bank account and for first 3 months of the year it worked out at E560 and when I sent her the details on excel she said I also use my own account which she not meant to too as this is how we track the bills as this is a shared account we have just for all family related bills,(Still waiting for her to send on her excel list from her account with food bills).

Laughahalla : That sounds like more like it E135 a week, The funny thing is she always used to boast that she could feed the family for around 60E a week with really good healthy tasting food,(She is an amazing cook and I do miss that part of her). I want to be fair but not taken for a fool. Even if I say food is E185 a week which is E800 a month and my daughters 3/4 comes to 600 then split 2 ways is 300 a month / E69 a week. I be happy to give E100 a week if it meant her just getting on with it. She more concerned what I left with rather than what is fair for both of us. She gets to live her kids 7 days a week and has this thing in her head I should pay more than her and I don't even live there.
NB: I did give her option to move out and I would not look for any maintenance from her but that did not go down well.


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## JamieS (9 Apr 2019)

Hi
I hope it ok to post here on a similar topic.  I'm looking for advice, I have a casual arrangement with ex husband for child support of 2 kids, 13 & 8.  They are with me 95% of the time.  If I average out what is paid per week (maintenance is not paid exactly every week) it works out approx €140.  This does not include any additional payments for school books, uniforms, sports, Christmas etc, this is the total amount.
I feel that this is not enough, especially as the kids are eating much more & taking part in more costly sports activities.  However my ex will not agree to pay anything more.  Also I believe that he may decide to reduce payment because we recently no longer pay for a child minder, as I can work from home in the afternoons.  (He considers paying the child minder as his only responsibility towards child care)

He earns between 45-50+k per year.  Do you have any advice on whether he should be paying more?
Thanks


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## noproblem (9 Apr 2019)

Seems some fathers who are separated are being screwed for more money than others even if it's not their fault that the marriage broke up, seldom hear of women having to pay maintenance and there's thousands who pay nothing at all. Is there anything in place that gets the separated partner to pay maintenance and enforces the payment?


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## dodo (15 Apr 2019)

JamieS said:


> Hi
> I hope it ok to post here on a similar topic.  I'm looking for advice, I have a casual arrangement with ex husband for child support of 2 kids, 13 & 8.  They are with me 95% of the time.  If I average out what is paid per week (maintenance is not paid exactly every week) it works out approx €140.  This does not include any additional payments for school books, uniforms, sports, Christmas etc, this is the total amount.
> I feel that this is not enough, especially as the kids are eating much more & taking part in more costly sports activities.  However my ex will not agree to pay anything more.  Also I believe that he may decide to reduce payment because we recently no longer pay for a child minder, as I can work from home in the afternoons.  (He considers paying the child minder as his only responsibility towards child care)
> 
> ...


It seems to be around 65e-80e per child per week, I know a friend of mine has 1 child and her ex is on 80K plus and they had to go to court to sort this out and he was ordered to pay E150 a week. The E150 covers everything so she does not get anything towards school books, school trips. So E140 he is paying seems about right going by the 65e-80e ratio. But you should have this written down and signed off by the 2 of you.


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## Thirsty (3 Jun 2019)

> Seems some fathers who are separated are being screwed for more money than others even if it's not their fault that the marriage broke up, seldom hear of women having to pay maintenance and there's thousands who pay nothing at all. Is there anything in place that gets the separated partner to pay maintenance and enforces the payment?



a. Every child is legally entitled to be supported by both their parents
b. Regardless of what may have happened in a marriage or partnership, is certainly isn't the child's fault they are resident with one parent, and it has no bearing on their entitlement to be supported by both parents.
c. Child maintenance is payable to whichever parent has primary care of the child.  The law doesn't discriminate in that regard.
d. Where do you get your figure of 'thousands who pay nothing at all'?
e. It is up to the primary carer to both obtain and enforce the child maintenance payment.


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