# Baby after settling family separation



## Thanos0 (7 Feb 2018)

I've just settled a family separation last week. 

Under the settlement agreement, I will pay her a sum of money per week.

My son was looking through her phone today and he came to me afterwards and asked if his mother was pregnant.

I said I didn't know. 

If she is actually pregnant , what effect does it have on the settlement?


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## vandriver (8 Feb 2018)

Is it yours?it would be a very relevant fact to alter the settlement more in her favour,surely.


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## Thirsty (8 Feb 2018)

If you are the baby's father you will be expected to support the child and at this point that will include maternity costs.

In the interests of preserving your relationship I would strongly recommend waiting until you are told.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

I am not the baby's father. She has a boyfriend but I also know she has been playing around also.

It is quite possible she was pregnant at the court case and settled.

Would this have affected the settlement?


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## ReesesPieces (9 Feb 2018)

What reason would it have to affect your settlement? If the child isn't yours, you're not responsible for the child. Whoever the father is will be. But from what you've said you have at least one child with her, which presumably the basis on which a settlement was agreed. 

The financial settlement isn't some kind of moral reward, its based on the obligations you have to each other. While the money she will need each week may go up if she has another child, I don't think there's any risk of you being expected to pay for that. Similarly, if she has maintenance from that child's father coming in, I don't see why that would be taken into account.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

It affects Settlement as she got a great property deal for a very small amount of money. The fact was however she had a new baby, another partner and was getting the property for next to nothing while person a got screwed. Considering she had this new partner with substantial income they made a huge gain by purchasing property for next to nothing. Not declaring this affected the settlement.


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## Thirsty (9 Feb 2018)

Not your baby = nothing to do with you.

She is embarking on another relationship = nothing to do with you.

You have a child  = this child needs to be supported and raised by you both.

Item 3 is your only concern.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

The point is that she and her boyfriend got to purchase a house for little. She didn't declare either boyfriend or new baby and wouldn't have been able to get that settlement if she declared. She therefore did not declare it and made a gain by deception. Considering the money involved she was able to prejudice the court.


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## xoxoxo (9 Feb 2018)

Post deleted


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## xoxoxo (9 Feb 2018)

Thanos0 said:


> Under the settlement agreement, I will pay her a sum of money per week



 The money you pay is for your son. Not for 'Her'

The  judges role in the settlement is to make provision for your son. The fact that your ex has a new partner and may or may not pregnant is irrelenent. The fact is that you are the father of this boy and you must provide for him accordingly.

You sound very bitter to be honest. You hopefully have a long life ahead of you. Let your ex get on With her life, and you get on with yours. Move on From this settlement. Pay whatever maintenance you are ordered to pay, see your son as much as possible and be the best dad you can possibly be. Life is short - move on.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

Who said I had a son. No mention of it. 

As regards maintenance, I am not arguing about that.

The division of property is the argument.

She got €570000 for €100000 but she will be able to restructure.

I will have to take a debt on of €200000 to start again.

She would not have got such a deal if it was known she was pregnant and I would have got probably €160000 instead. 

I think it's the court of appeal for sure. Civil bill is prepared and affidavit ready.


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## Thirsty (9 Feb 2018)

"Who said I had a son"

Its 50/50 to be one or the other - pointless argument.

 "division of property is the argument."

And the fact that she is in a new relationship won't make a whit of difference.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

The point is that she will get rewarded by knockdown prices for good assets instead of being a fair split. 

After she cheated. To get such a deal and a new fella basically inherits the wealth I created seems wrong.

Secondly I will struggle for the rest of my life because of this while she and her new partner are rewarded.


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## PaddyBloggit (9 Feb 2018)

Thanos0 said:


> Who said I had a son. No mention of it.



You did in your first post!



Thanos0 said:


> My son was looking through her phone today and he came to me afterwards and asked if his mother was pregnant.


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## LS400 (9 Feb 2018)

Not that it makes any difference, bu in fairness to Xoxo you did say in your opening post, "your son was looking through his mums phone"

Look, you resent the fact your ex is moving on with her life, and that's understandable as you feel you have a bigger hill now to climb, but unless you try to move on with your life, this bitterness will consume you.

What's done is done, it won't alter a jot with the new pregnancy.

For what it's worth, unless you let this go, you now risk the relationship with your son, as he will be forced into a position to take sides.


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## messyleo (9 Feb 2018)

Thanos0 said:


> My son was looking through her phone today and he came to me afterwards and asked if his mother was pregnant.





Thanos0 said:


> Who said I had a son. No mention of it.



Seems clear to me.


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## Thanos0 (9 Feb 2018)

Ok . Forgot about mentioning my son but my points remain. 

I feel I'm been ripped off because she got a better deal as it appeared she was single. 

It now turns out I got a much worse deal and they are comfortable at my expense. 

Basically they are taking 310k in equity for 100k


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## Thanos0 (10 Feb 2018)

So in what court is a notice to appeal the consent orders done? 

Circuit family court or court of appeal in aras ui dhulaigh?


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## Thirsty (10 Feb 2018)

"it appeared she was single. "

You're not making sense.

I thought you and your former wife were married and this was a JS settlement?

Were you not married?


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## Thanos0 (10 Feb 2018)

She got the majority of the equity value because it was assumed she had no serious partner ready to move in. 

Now it appears she has but got a greater settlement because of the presumption


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## Thirsty (10 Feb 2018)

"assumed she had no serious partner ready to move in."

At what point was your former wife asked by either your solicitor or by the judge hearing your case if she was in another relationship?


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## mf1 (10 Feb 2018)

This was a consent agreement? You agreed to this? And you want to appeal what you've agreed because you believe she misrepresented her status? 

Frankly, you're on a hiding to nothing. Aa a rule, a court won't set aside a consent agreement. 

mf


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## noproblem (10 Feb 2018)

I've no idea how you might get on with your problem. but people here have given lots of advice. Not sure if any of them are legal professionals even if they're trying to come across as such.


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## PaddyBloggit (10 Feb 2018)

noproblem said:


> Not sure if any of them are legal professionals


*mf1* is one, as is *Ravima* who liked his contribution.


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## noproblem (10 Feb 2018)

Wonderful.


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## PaddyBloggit (10 Feb 2018)

noproblem said:


> Wonderful.



meaning?


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## Jim2007 (10 Feb 2018)

Thanos0 said:


> Who said I had a son. No mention of it.



You did:

“My son was looking through her phone today and he came to me afterwards and asked if his mother was pregnant.”


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## Jim2007 (10 Feb 2018)

The whole point of the process was to bring closure, so that you both could move on with your lives and you agreed to this settlement.  And now you want to somehow have this receded because you only agreed to because you though she would not be moving on with her life... it is going to be very hard to sell that one to anyone, never mind a court.


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## dan rather (11 Feb 2018)

Was it a toss up between spending 15k fighting it in court or walking away 15k better off with not much prospect of a better outcome? Were you in a position to take over the mortgage yourself?


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## PaddyBloggit (11 Feb 2018)

OP's best option at this stage is to move on with his lfe. Playing out what coulda/shoulda been is pointless at this stage.

OP had his opportunity in court.


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## Thirsty (11 Feb 2018)

Here's the thing:

The OP hasn't answered the question with regards to when (or if) his former wife was asked either by the Judge at the hearing or by his Solicitor about being in another relationship.  Neither has he noted if he was also asked that question.

I'm nigh on 100% certain that neither of them were asked to state this fact via affidavit or in response to questions at the hearing.

And why might that be?

Because it's not relevant.

OP may be feeling very aggrieved (understandably!) that his former wife was possibly unfaithful during their marriage. However, the conduct of either party during the marriage is not taken into account when reaching a settlement - unless (and this is a big unless) it would be a grave injustice not to do so.  As an example (I stress the word example) of grave misconduct you could be looking at criminal activity, domestic violence, convictions for serious offences.  Adultery doesn't make the list.

If the OP is paying spousal maintenance, then that will cease if his former wife remarries.

EDIT: to keep noproblem happy - IANAL


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## Thirsty (11 Feb 2018)

> Not sure if any of them are legal professionals even if they're trying to come across as such.


To reply to this, I have clearly stated on many posts that IANAL.  I am however, speaking from experience over several years in this area.


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## noproblem (11 Feb 2018)

Thirsty said:


> To reply to this, I have clearly stated on many posts that IANAL.  I am however, speaking from experience over several years in this area.



Good man. I've meet a fair few over the years on the other side of the bar who have saved the turf, brought home the hay, made an awful lot of money on the Gee Gees, solved everyone else's problems but can't solve their own, haven't a penny in their pockets, have the plot of turf rented for beer money and their bitteen of land wouldn't rear a snipe. However, they've a load of experience over the years and speak their minds and fair play to them. But ?


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## Thirsty (12 Feb 2018)

I think your post says more about you than me.  

Particularly since this is your best contribution...


> I've no idea how you might get on with your problem.


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