# Couple split up/house in question



## trailite (30 Jan 2009)

Seeking advice for a relative.
(Irish) related story here.

Boy meet girl. They buy house together. Both names on mortgage.
The relationship falls apart after one year. No children involved. They are not married.
Male moves out. The stress got to him. Moved in with his brother.

The couple are still paying their share of mortgage.(even though he moved out)
House now in negative equity by about fifty thousand Euro. They paid top price, possibly too much for the house to begin with. (lots of extras were included) 

Now

Girlfriend does not want house sold., and continues to live in it. 

The exBoyfriend still paying his share of mortgate.(and rent to his brother)

He wants house sold, she does not. She is refusing to move out.
He knows even if house is sold there is no money to be divided between them. He knows he will have a shortfall of 50 Thousand Euro if house does sell.


If you were in his shoes, what would you do. He regrets now moving out.
He has one child (not with her) and could manage the mortgage on his own with family moving in to help him with payment.

Legal advise suggests it will take two years to get her out. In the meantime she will continue to live in it, while he pays half of the mortgage

The way I see it, she is sitting pretty for the next two years. She has the house all to herself while he foots the bill. Her new love has also moved in with her.

Any advice from those who might have gone through this?

is she liable for half of the shortfall if house sells for less than is owned to bank?


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## bizincork (30 Jan 2009)

solicitor is your best option, but from my experience..
either she buys his share(or he buys hers) or a partition of sale will be forced by the courts where both will have to face a loss + legal costs.

Problem also is if she decides to stop paying the mortgage you are liable for that too...


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## Vanilla (30 Jan 2009)

Is he also on the title? This is a different thing than just being co-mortgagee.

If he is, then he can just move back in. If locks are changed, get a locksmith- give her copies of the keys as she is equally entitled. I wouldnt suggest this if there are children living in the house as tensions might be unfair to them. If he moves back in he might find her more amenable to rectifying the situation or bringing it to some conclusion. He should be very careful not to react to her in such a way as to show any aggression- or else he will find himself being served with a protection order or worse. 

His ex does not have any right to move her current boyfriend into the house. So he should put a stop to that straight away.

Then give her the options- either he buys her out, she buys him out, the house is sold and they divide the debt and choice to be made within say, 14 days. If she doesnt decide then he should get his solicitor to start partition proceedings because the longer it goes on the worse for everyone. Sometimes the service of proceedings focusses the mind.


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## MOB (31 Jan 2009)

An alternative with lower 'up-front' stress and cost,-though not without a concomitant downside:  He might consider writing to ex. (through solicitor perhaps) to say:

1.  I have left the house since zz date, and you have enjoyed sole use of it since then.

2.  I have been paying half mortgage since, which amounts to yy

3.  I want the house sold;  If you do not want it sold, take note that I will stop paying toward mortgage as of xx date and it will be your sole responsibility to keep paying it.

4.  I will at any time transfer my interest in the property to you upon payment of yy.  This offer remains open for 12\24\36 months.  After that I will review the situation in light of property values at that time

And then just stop paying.  If she really wants to keep the house, this puts it up to her.  (and, of course, if she does then want to negotiate, I would transfer it to her for nothing; no point being bloody minded; indeed, if the negative equity was huge, I might even consider making a payment to her)

The perhaps significant downside is that if she can't or won't pay the mortgage herself, there may well be an impact on his credit rating.  

But she can't seriously expect a court to entertain any sort of attempt by her to compel him to continue paying half the mortgage while she has the sole benefit of the property and a new boyfriend installed.  So she will have to either paddle her own canoe or let it sink.


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## nesbitt (2 Feb 2009)

Vanilla said:


> Is he also on the title? This is a different thing than just being co-mortgagee.
> 
> If he is, then he can just move back in. If locks are changed, get a locksmith- give her copies of the keys as she is equally entitled. I wouldnt suggest this if there are children living in the house as tensions might be unfair to them. If he moves back in he might find her more amenable to rectifying the situation or bringing it to some conclusion. He should be very careful not to react to her in such a way as to show any aggression- or else he will find himself being served with a protection order or worse.
> 
> ...


 
Very good advice and also excellent post from MOB, however I would not advise you to return to the house, you could indeed have a (contrived/false?) protection order put in place against you, so IMO don't move back in...


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## trailite (6 Feb 2009)

Thank you all for the advice and direction. Passed it along to him, but as it stands he is not planning on moving back in.
("you don't realize what she is capable of") was his reply.

I hope others can learn from his mistake. He was warned that something like this would happen, but love is blind? 
It is in the hands of the solicitor now according to him. Hate to think of his financial position for the next few years until this is sorted out.
Again
Thanks to those who offered advice.


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## heretohelp (6 Feb 2009)

Husband was in this position with his ex partner. He wanted to be off the mortgage, she wouldnt sell, so they went to court and he was able to take his name off the mortgage, through the courts, not sure of the actual procedure but basically he got no money, she did not buy him out, and her father put his name on the mortgage as she was not working at the time . Husband got nothing but did get out of paying the mortgage. He had solely paid it for the two years they were living in it .


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