# Pet Hates re office etiquette



## Vanilla (7 Apr 2005)

May as well make use of the letting off steam section! My pet hate is when someone gets their assistant or secretary to ring me, and they then put me on hold while they try to get the person on the other end. Does anyone have any polite way of rebuffing this type of call? I.e. its not the secretarys or assistants fault, so I don't want to be rude to them, but I dont really see why, if they are ringing me, I should be the one put on hold. Actually even thinking about it annoys me! Its a position of power thing really- as in the person ringing by proxy must believe their time is more valuable than mine... 
One of my colleagues does this to me all the time- so can anyone think of something polite to say to his secretary when she rings and says :' Hi this is Mr.X's office, can you hold to speak to him please?'


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## ClubMan (7 Apr 2005)

Vanilla said:
			
		

> so can anyone think of something polite to say to his secretary when she rings and says :' Hi this is Mr.X's office, can you hold to speak to him please?'



How about _"I'm sorry but I can't hold right now? Perhaps he can call me back when he's available?"._


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## MandaC (7 Apr 2005)

We actually have a worse crowd that ring us from Limerick.  The Secretary actually rings our office and no matter who answers is told "can you hold for a call please" .  Whoever is unfortunate enough to answer gets stuck with their didley eidle music for ages while whoever requested the call comes on the line.

Our receptionist just bangs them on hold for ages and I think they have now got the message.!


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## Noor77 (7 Apr 2005)

Vanilla said:
			
		

> May as well make use of the letting off steam section! My pet hate is when someone gets their assistant or secretary to ring me, and they then put me on hold while they try to get the person on the other end.


 
You won't believe this but my Dad actually does this to me sometimes! He gets his secretary to ring me and say "Can you take a call from your Father".................I've decided he must just do it to wind me up


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## stobear (7 Apr 2005)

I used to get this all the time (believe it or not but from my solicitor Vanilla!) I normally didn't have enough time to come back with CM's rebuff. They just shove me on hold without waiting for my reply. 

It was somehow worth it though, my solicitor was somewhat eccentric!! Hilarious guy

Why not call them back and ask them 'What do you want?'.


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## Vanilla (7 Apr 2005)

Believe it or not Clubman, I have said something similar which has resulted in the same secretary ringing me back later in the day again- you see, he IS actually available when he rings in this way...most of the time, although on one memorable occasion, I accepted the call only to be put on hold for a fairly long time, and then his secretary came back on and said he had left the office!!!!! I'm talking about one colleague in particular now, but a number of them do this, including an old boss of mine a few years back.

Noor- I just think that is so funny- at least you can tell him off though.


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## Vanilla (7 Apr 2005)

It must be something solicitors do frequently Stobear- I know a number of my colleagues do it- but one guy in particular- could be the same guy!


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## MissRibena (7 Apr 2005)

That's nothing... a car dearlership in the midlands used to ring you _on hold!  _Yes that's right - you'd answer the ringing phone and all there would be was _Greensleeves. _Imagine the cheek of it! The girls in the office used to hang on like eejits until the receptionist asked you to further "hold for a call for so-and-so" but I made them start a new policy of hanging up.

Rebecca


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## ISBN (7 Apr 2005)

There is a garage in Deansgrange that sends you a *text* to let you know if your car is ready instead of having the courtesy to ring you!


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## casiopea (7 Apr 2005)

isbn
I think that is a good idea, they should perhaps ask customers if that is an acceptable way of communicating but I think many would think that is ok.


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## Decani (7 Apr 2005)

Is it just me or does anybody's manager email them something and then ring them/call by to see if they got the mail about 2 seconds after the mail is in your inbox?


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## RainyDay (8 Apr 2005)

Vanilla said:
			
		

> One of my colleagues does this to me all the time- so can anyone think of something polite to say to his secretary when she rings and says :' Hi this is Mr.X's office, can you hold to speak to him please?'


Wait for the secretary to put him through, put on your poshest accent and say "Ms Vanilla will be with you shortly - please hold", then wait for 5 minutes....


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## Capaill (8 Apr 2005)

Other pet hates
Saying hi to the same people everytime you meet them in the office.  I think this is particularly an Irish thing.

People coming up to you at your desk to discuss something when you are having lunch at your desk.  Particularly annoying if you have something hot, e.g. soup, takeaway, etc.  Your food rapidly getting cooler while they bladder on about some inane point.

Smoker's getting smoking breaks and non smokers not.

Being asked to contribute to someone's going away present even though you never knew the person.

People being late for meetings !!

C


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## ClubMan (8 Apr 2005)

Capaill said:
			
		

> Other pet hates
> Saying hi to the same people everytime you meet them in the office.  I think this is particularly an Irish thing.



I'd prefer that to people ignoring each other.

_Vincent Browne _had a few foreigners living in _Ireland _(some long term residents) on last night talking about the observations about Ireland and the Irish and one _Canadian _woman was going on about things like people saying _"you couldn't do that for me could you"_ or _"you wouldn't want to be doing that"_ (she claimed this betrayed a "culture of negativity") and people jokingly saying _"you're very bold"_ in response to smart/cutting comments (she claimed that this upset her a lot even though she knew that it was said in jest and in a friendly way). Some people have little to worry about...


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## daveco23 (8 Apr 2005)

Biggest gripe about office manners is people trying to get into the lift as you are getting out of it!! Have taken a keith wood attitude and just pretend they are not there.
Plus, lazy eejits who use the lift to go up one floor..


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## casiopea (8 Apr 2005)

ClubMan said:
			
		

> _"you're very bold"_ in response to smart/cutting comments (she claimed that this upset her a lot even though she knew that it was said in jest and in a friendly way). Some people have little to worry about...



A little bit off topic:
I once got myself into a bit a trouble when I jokingly said to an Italian (male) colleauge, he was commenting on not being good at yoga or something silly like that, "ah you're useless".  Now even in print it looks offensive but I meant it in jest, its something we would have said at home sarcastically when someone claimed to be no good at something trivial or especially if they were actually good at it (and were just fishing for compliments).  He took it as a slur on his manhood or something and was sulking at me for months in the office until he confided in another irish female what Id said and she explained it to him....shesh.

Back on topic.
My pet hate is people copying the world on emails and even more so the people that reply (with non relevant content) to these emails copying you again. Nearly as bad as spam


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## sinead76 (8 Apr 2005)

I hate when the receptionist transfers phone calls to me without telling me who they are first, when I pick up its usually a customer who expects me to know who they are.  Its doubly annoying when these customers put me on hold while waiting for me to pick up.

Also I hate talking to people on the phone who will pick up another call/talk to someone in the office but don't put you on hold and you have to listen to every word they're saying


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## MissRibena (8 Apr 2005)

casiopea said:
			
		

> My pet hate is people copying the world on emails and even more so the people that reply (with non relevant content) to these emails copying you again. Nearly as bad as spam


 
Oooooooh, this drives me mad too. They only do it to cover their asses and make sure everyone is "in the loop", which brings me to a familiar AAM topic and a pet hate; management speak. _The Office_ was really good at taking the mickey on this stuff, like "there's no I in team" or "blue sky projects" or "rolling out" or "FYI" (and any other TLA). And that brings me to yet _another_ pet hate; people who send you an email with just "FYI" on it and you have to read all the rubbish below. I think it's just plain rude not to open and close even the briefest email, it seems to be a bit of a multinational/American company thing. Maybe I'm just pedantic on that though.

On the Canadian's take on our negative mindset; it's not just Ireland. My boyfriend betrays his Eastern European roots every time he asks a question. Instead of saying, for example, "Would you like a glass of wine?", he'll say "You don't want a glass of wine?".  In some circumstances (which I can't think of now) it sounds negative or a bit subservient. Don't worry though, I'll knock it out of him 

Rebecca


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## Brendan Burgess (8 Apr 2005)

I hate the following conversation:

Brendan: May I speak to Miss Ribena please
Receptionist: May I ask who is calling?
Brendan: Brendan Burgess
Receptionist: I am sorry, she is out of the office today. 

Our office policy is to say "Certainly, may I ask who is calling?"  or "I am afraid he is out of the office today, can I put you through his voicemail?". 

On a separate issue 

I got a message to ring a Veronica. I didn't know any Veronicas. 
I rang the number:
Me: May I speak to Veronica please?
REceptionist: Do you have a surname? 
I did think this was a bit odd, but 
Brendan: Yes. It's Burgess
Receptionist: Sorry we don't have a Veronica Burgess working here.
Brendan: No. That's my surname

She got very snotty thinking I was being smart.


Brendan


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## ClubMan (8 Apr 2005)

MissRibena said:
			
		

> On the Canadian's take on our negative mindset; it's not just Ireland. My boyfriend betrays his Eastern European roots every time he asks a question. Instead of saying, for example, "Would you like a glass of wine?", he'll say "You don't want a glass of wine?". In some circumstances (which I can't think of now) it sounds negative or a bit subservient. Don't worry though, I'll knock it out of him
> Rebecca



Language can be funny like that. An _English _friend/colleague of mine years ago was in fits of laughter when he was asked if he wanted _"a hot drop" _[of tea in his cup]. Some _Yanks _that I worked with thought it quaint when I used phrases like _"half past" _and _"a quarter to" _when specifying times.

I like _Brendan's _one above. Were you being smart?


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## MissRibena (8 Apr 2005)

That reminds me of the German (and I think other languages too) way of telling the time where they say "halb elf" (half eleven) but it doesn't mean half _past_ evelen it means half-way _to_ eleven or what we call half ten! Wonder what the Canadian would make of that; are we living in the past and the German's forward looking with Americans living in the moment?  

Clubman, your mention of the yanks reminds me of _another_ pet hate (I have an endless supply). I HATE the way we are beginning to adopt the Amercian way of saying numerals instead of the proper date. It was happening before 911 but it's even worse now; instead of saying "31st of May", some say "thirty one five". I have to say that it's mostly accountants in my experience. Bloody accountants 

Rebecca


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## sinead76 (8 Apr 2005)

Its not as bad as saying 5 31


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## ninsaga (8 Apr 2005)

People sending the 'Look at me I'm working' type emails - copying the world.......... just gets on my goat


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## daveco23 (8 Apr 2005)

...people who carry on conversations either side of lift, with one person blocking the door so it doesn't move until they are finished.. Grrr


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## sinead76 (8 Apr 2005)

People in other parts of the office having conversations and starting to whisper when I go past on my way to the canteen.  It's not that I want to eavesdrop, it just seems rude, as if they think I'm some sort of spy when all they're talking about is how they can't hang out washing this weather and suchlike


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## ninsaga (8 Apr 2005)

Oh that's because they are talking about you Sinead76...that's all!


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## ClubMan (8 Apr 2005)

People! Bah!


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## Queenspawn (10 Apr 2005)

This is a great thread just what LoS is there for. I agree with all of them so far except for textng that my car is ready that is brilliant!!
Another for the ranters is my US colleagues doing email the second they get up in the morning and again just before they go to bed to give the impression they work all freakin' day


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## DrMoriarty (11 Apr 2005)

*Revenge...*

_[Should be in the Craic, I know, but...]_

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other ‘non-player’ must be in the toilet at the time). 
3) Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. 
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”.
7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”. 
8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) While riding a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. 

THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. 
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it”.
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). 
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle(there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight). 
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE-POINT DARES 

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob”. 
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”. 
5) After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “the report’s on your desk, Mon”. Keep this up for one hour. 
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”.
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again”. 
9) In a colleague’s diary, write in 10am: “See how I look in tights”.
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask “You wanna trade?”.
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now”. 
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it”. 
13) Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. 
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call. 
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, and smash each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.


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## onekeano (17 Apr 2005)

Pet hate is when you go on a conference call for say an hour and one of the contributors (normally a yank) says "I hope you all got a chance to look at the presentation I sent out?". To which everyone says ina  somewhat embarrassed manner "No, sorry". Then then waffle on ad nauseum and at the end ask "any questions" - answer is inavriably no or juts waffle. Then when you check your mail you find that they sent the presentation out just after the meeting started to ensure that no one had the opportunity to scrutinize the content.


Aaaaarrrgggghhhh!
Roy


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## Westbound (18 Apr 2005)

What about those people who type really loudly, like they have lead in their fingers...


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## Miner (18 Apr 2005)

- People on speaker phone in an open plan office - i don't want to hear your conversation!
- People in an open plan office who let their mobile ring forever on the highest volume setting
- People who barge into my office without knocking, grrrrrrr


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## CCOVICH (18 Apr 2005)

- People who have offices


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## SteelBlue05 (18 Apr 2005)

People in general.


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## Capaill (18 Apr 2005)

Miner

I used to work with a guy who would leave his mobile on full volume and never answer it.  One day he was away from his desk and after the phone rang for the 10th time without being answered, one of the guys took the mobile, a taped it to the back of a ceiling tile and replaced the tile.

It was sweet revenge watching the offender on his return look for his ringing mobile and not being able to find it.

C


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## sim (19 Apr 2005)

I have found the easiest way to avoid all the above is never take any call that is patched through. Always get receptionist to put them through to voice mail and then screen your calls. Thats what voice mail is for. Nobody rings to give you something only to get you to do something for them! This can also be extended to the mobile phone.
I have a friend who ensures his voice mail is constantly full thus never has to ring anybody back. he reckons if it is important enough they wll call him back!


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## Ash (20 Apr 2005)

AAM contributors who quote long tracts of a post earlier in the thread before they give their own contribution, especially if the quote comes from a post in a short thread.


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## MonsieurBond (20 Apr 2005)

Capaill said:
			
		

> Miner
> 
> I used to work with a guy who would leave his mobile on full volume and never answer it. One day he was away from his desk and after the phone rang for the 10th time without being answered, one of the guys took the mobile, a taped it to the back of a ceiling tile and replaced the tile.
> 
> ...



If someone leaves his phone on his desk and walk away and it rings when I am near it, I just turn the phone to Silent or switch it off.

They usually get the hint.


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## MOFFY01 (20 Apr 2005)

Westbound said:
			
		

> What about those people who type really loudly, like they have lead in their fingers...



yes!! i hate that too, it drives me mental, why do they do it?? is it to prove to the whole office that they are busy busy busy! almost but not quite on a par with the person who always walks around with a piece of paper in their hand, do they not know that we know why they are doing it!! and i hate it when someone in the office says the dreaded words 'we'll have to go for a night out we havent been out in ages'  why does there have to be 'office nights out' they are a torture, naturally i will socialise with the people i like and get on with, but the others....... dr moriarty i bet you could come up with some fantastic excuses for me!


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## RainyDay (20 Apr 2005)

MOFFY01 said:
			
		

> and i hate it when someone in the office says the dreaded words 'we'll have to go for a night out we havent been out in ages'  why does there have to be 'office nights out' they are a torture, naturally i will socialise with the people i like and get on with, but the others


They don't actually force you to go on the nights out, do they?


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## ninsaga (20 Apr 2005)

People who mask problems in their area by constantly poking holes in other peoples areas & making a big deal about it


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## Duke of Marmalade (21 Apr 2005)

People who don't smell check their he-males.


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## daveco23 (21 Apr 2005)

The couple who start a workplace relationship which promptly goes downhill and they then spend all their time telling anyone in the office who will listen what a prat the other is. Made even worse by the glowering and nitpicking at each other at meetings, etc


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## MOFFY01 (21 Apr 2005)

RainyDay said:
			
		

> They don't actually force you to go on the nights out, do they?



no they dont physically force you, just brand you anti social


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## Gabriel (21 Apr 2005)

People who spend all day bitching like little schoolgirls about all the things they hate about offices


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

[broken link removed]!


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## techman2 (21 Apr 2005)

I think alot of office politics is got to do with the fact that men and women were never meant to work together in such close quarters. Anywhere you have an all male workforce or all female workforce you don't have office politics. I think for a start cubicle farms should be done away with and if a person needs an office give them a proper office not a cubicle.


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

techman2 said:
			
		

> I think alot of office politics is got to do with the fact that men and women were never meant to work together in such close quarters. Anywhere you have an all male workforce or all female workforce you don't have office politics.



Ha, ha! Good troll attempt. Wonder who will fall for it?


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## Vanilla (21 Apr 2005)

> Anywhere you have an all male workforce or all female workforce you don't have office politics.


 

So untrue, I dont know where to start! 

Anyway, I've remembered another one- the worst of all is the colleague who sucks up to the boss and is the bosses 'informer', but somehow thinks nobody else has copped on and wanders about the office trying to get the inside information to pass on to the head honcho. In one previous workplace we had one of these colleagues, and it became apparent after a while what was going on. So gradually we started telling her more and more outlandish stories- like X ( who was a quiet sort of a bloke recently returned from NZ and super polite) had been a member of a cult and only came back to Ireland after being kidnapped by a 'de- culter'. The boss used to be told all these stories, of course, and might repeat them to another member of staff, who would look very disbelieving and say-' And Y told you this, did she?'

Priceless.

p.s. I fell for it, Clubman- you'd think I 'd have better sense...


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## techman2 (21 Apr 2005)

Its not a "troll" to use your own jargon. Any comment I make, I only make because I believe it. This site must be a politically corect one when you can't make a comment without someone trying to pigeon hole you.


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## fobs (21 Apr 2005)

What does being a "troll" mean??? I've seen this referred to on a number of threads?!


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## fobs (21 Apr 2005)

i hate people who talk in jargon when some people clearly don't understand the meaning. For example in IT usign IT jargon if everyone present is not a member of the IT team! It's like they are trying to show off their knowledge at the expense of those who don't understand!


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## Vanilla (21 Apr 2005)

A troll is someone who posts a deliberately offensive or controversial remark in the hope that people ( like me) will rise to the bait and reply - they hope for a heated 'debate' after that.


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## RainyDay (21 Apr 2005)

MOFFY01 said:
			
		

> no they dont physically force you, just brand you anti social


Sticks & stones.....


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

techman2 said:
			
		

> Its not a "troll" to use your own jargon. Any comment I make, I only make because I believe it. This site must be a politically corect one when you can't make a comment without someone trying to pigeon hole you.



OK - if it was not a troll then this is simply bunkum:



> Anywhere you have an all male workforce or all female workforce you don't have office politics.



I know first and second hand of many single sex work environments in which politics is just as rife as in mixed sex work environments and the exception always disproves the rule. _QED_.



> This site must be a politically corect one when you can't make a comment without someone trying to pigeon hole you.



Er, how exactly does political correctness come into my assumption that you were trolling?


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## Marion (21 Apr 2005)

*Re: Pet Hates re office nonsense*

Those who fly the kite for the boss. 

Marion


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

People who "humourously" shout _"half day?" _for all to hear when one leaves earlier than usual.

Presenteeism - assuming that presence in the workplace is necessarily an indicator of productivity.


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## sim (21 Apr 2005)

The way around the "half day" callers is never to leave the office with your jacket or your bag/case. Always have a spare jacket which you leave on the back of your chair giving the impression that you are always there! this was advice given by some guy in a famous email a few years ago. Other ones included always having a messy desk,always carry a piece of paper around with you etc etc. I follow these religously now and its amazing how it works.


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## sim (21 Apr 2005)

Found that email.Here it is for those who haven't seen it. Could be used to counter the worst of all office pet hates...WORK!!

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do. 
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.  You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught  -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. 
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk.  For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. 
4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.  
 5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed 
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy. 
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays. 
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure. 
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best). 
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere!
11. MOST IMPORTANT:  
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!! 
Words to live by!


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

sim said:
			
		

> The way around the "half day" callers is never to leave the office with your jacket or your bag/case. Always have a spare jacket which you leave on the back of your chair giving the impression that you are always there! this was advice given by some guy in a famous email a few years ago. Other ones included always having a messy desk,always carry a piece of paper around with you etc etc. I follow these religously now and its amazing how it works.



I used to have a boss who used to keep a spare overcoat which resided full time in his office giving the impression that he was "around" at all times. Godo trick! 

I worked with somebody else (another "half day" merchant) who prefaced all his conversations with people with "humourous" banter along the lines "youse boyos are all on the doss again", "slacking off again" etc. etc. He came around to me one day spouting the usual This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language and then proceeded to ask me for help on a technical problem. I told him that I would deal with his queries as soon as he started treating people with a bit more respect. He seemed a bit taken aback, beat a hasy retreat and I don't think he ever came near me again after that.


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## Queenspawn (21 Apr 2005)

I think this one is more prevalent in England (I've worked for several UK Co.s) it's along the lines of "halfday then" as some one leaves 17:30 or so.  Its when some one turns up later than everyone else (even in a flexitimeenviornment).  "its the late Mr. Queenspawn" or this is really hilaroious "Afternoon QP". That may have been mildly amusing in 1952 when it was first used but give it over.  I swear I must have herad that stupididy at least 500 times and it doesn't age well.


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## ClubMan (21 Apr 2005)

OK - I'm getting into the swing of this thread now ... the _Emeror's New Clothes _syndrome: a meeting room full of people sitting around nodding at some nugget of information which (a) is BS or (b) they don't even understand. Everybody nods sagely rather than actually challenging or asking some basic questions for fear of looking foolish! Maybe this is a technical/software engineering thing but I'd imagine that it happens in other fields of endeavour too. Probably number one on my list.


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## Marion (22 Apr 2005)

ClubMan said:
			
		

> Everybody nods sagely rather than actually challenging or asking some basic questions for fear of looking foolish!



Or ... To do so might mean that a dreaded committee will be set up with them as chairperson which will be a time-wasting exercise because nothing will be done anyway!

Marion


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## ClubMan (22 Apr 2005)

I was thinking more along the lines of somebody talking about the technical aspects of some project or other and everybody agreeing or feigning understanding rather than actually asking questions even if they did not understand.


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## techman2 (22 Apr 2005)

At the end of the day no matter what games people play to look busy or to look more important than they really are, they eventually get found out. They end up becoming a stereotype which nobody takes seriously. These things may work in the short term but not in the long term. If someone can keep a game going for years and years without being found out they should be working for MI5.


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## wowser (22 Apr 2005)

People who go to a meeting without reading the circulated document first; everyone then has to go through it line by line with them.  Even worse is when they point out mistakes and ommissions which are actually covered on the next page.  What a waste of time...


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## Capaill (22 Apr 2005)

People being late for meetings.


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## fobs (22 Apr 2005)

People being late for meetings annoys me too. It is so prevalent in our company that to turn up on time would make you look foolish!!!


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## Capaill (22 Apr 2005)

Fobs

One company I worked in solved that problem pretty quickly.
A fine system was set in place whereby for every minute you were late you were fined 1 euro.  this was then multiplied by the number of people you kept waiting.  So if you were meeting three other people and you were five minutes late it cost you €15.  Each week the "fine" pot went to a charity.  Meetings started on time pretty quickly

C


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## mo3art (29 Apr 2005)

I've given up speaking to the PA on the other line, having a 3 way conversation.  It drives me up the walls.
I normally revert to saying that I'm extremely busy and would like to speak to Mr X (and it's always a mr) directly.
Other pet hates include; marketing calls when they pretend to be a business call.  PLEASE take us off your database - Kompass has an awful lot to answer for.
And worst of all - clients calling me on speakerphone (1) I can't make out everything your saying (2) I can hear an echo of my speech.  That can be solved though by holding the phone 10 inches away from your ear and speaking very quietly - "I'm sorry I can't hear you very well - can you turn off your speakerphone?"


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## MonsieurBond (12 May 2005)

MissRibena said:
			
		

> That's nothing... a car dearlership in the midlands used to ring you _on hold!  _Yes that's right - you'd answer the ringing phone and all there would be was _Greensleeves. _Imagine the cheek of it! The girls in the office used to hang on like eejits until the receptionist asked you to further "hold for a call for so-and-so" but I made them start a new policy of hanging up.
> 
> Rebecca



This sounds like the US system where a computer system rings multiple numbers in the phone book and when a person answers (as opposed to a fax or no answer at all) the call is routed to a switchboard. You notice a few seconds of silence or even worse, hold music, before the call comes through.

Not pleasant.

Back on topic, my pet hate with office etiquette is colleagues who ring saying "got a minute?" and keep you on the phone for 20 minutes. Longer than 2 mins is a "meeting" and should be booked as such. I hate meaningless meetings but I have those "Got a minute?" phone calls which last ages even more. 

I have taken to leaving my desk phone on divert and choosing when/if to ring people back.


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## Marion (12 May 2005)

Hi Monsieur Bond

Amazing! I always put you down as super cool  I didn't think anything would faze 007.

Marion


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