# Giving new baby both parents names



## kevin4344 (3 Jan 2009)

Hi there,
My daughter is due to give birth in the next few days.
She is unmarried.
While i believe he should register as the father
She wants to have the child register with both surnames.

Her boyfriend ended the relationship last week and has told my daughter he wants no relationship with her.

He however wants to be envolved with the child. he even wants to attend the birth.

I cannot understand why my daughter is agreeing to give the child both surnames under these circumstances. Marriage will not happen...

My question is as follows.
will this give the boyfriend any legal rights now or at a later stage.

If he applies for guardianship will it make his case stronger if the child bares his name and my daughters as against my daughters only.
Should the names be hyphenated or separate.

any advise would be much apprecaited.

kevin


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## shesells (3 Jan 2009)

A name is just a name in this case. The way Irish family law is structured, an unmarried father has *zero* rights until he is declared a legal guardian.


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## sam h (3 Jan 2009)

I wouldn;t worry about the name and it is important that the father does remain involved in the child life.  But I would reckon your daughter hasn't accepted that the relationship is over (and it may not be).

Personally speaking, I wouldn;t be keen on him being at the birth!!


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## Vanilla (3 Jan 2009)

If she is not denying he is the father then why would you want her to deny him a relationship with his child? Surely the better the relationship he maintains with your grandchild, the better for your grandchild and therefore for you daughter?

This child is going to need both parents for another couple of decades- do you really need to start a war now about this? Offer it up and bite your tongue. It really is none of your business anyway.

If this man applies to court he will almost certainly be made the childs legal guardian without a murmur by any judge- and it will NOT matter whose name is on the birth cert or what the childs name is. However it would be a much better start to the child's life if it doesnt have to start getting to know his/her father via a courtroom.


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## purpeller (5 Jan 2009)

A birth certificate doesn't have a surname on it, per se.  It just has name of child, eg, Susan, female, name of mother, name of father, occupations, place of birth, etc.


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## Chocks away (5 Jan 2009)

Vanilla's last line is a poignant suggestion. The word is MUM.


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## gillarosa (5 Jan 2009)

Hi Kevin,
As they are not married, I am not sure the baby will have the fathers surname either as a double-barrel or single name. They will both have to attend the registrar together to even record his name as the father.
Don't stress too much, your daughter has a lot on her plate at the moment but both she and the Da will have time to make the correct decisions after the baby is born.
Enjoy being a Granda!


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## Bronte (6 Jan 2009)

While I agree with Vanilla, as far as I know if the child is registered with both parents it can lead to problems down the line with getting passports.  If things get acrimonious he could make life difficult by refusing to sign for a passport.  That said he will be the child's father forever and for your own sake you should stay out of it.  It's between them and you really don't know what is going on nor will you ever.  Hope things work out.


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## Thirsty (6 Jan 2009)

> A birth certificate doesn't have a surname on it, per se.


This is no longer the case, since October 1997, a surname for the baby is registered when the birth is being registered.

see also www.treoir.ie for very useful advice on this area.


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## Cashstrapped (6 Jan 2009)

Firstly, both father and mother (if unmarried) have to attend to register the babys birth if they want the father's details included.  However if the baby is registered without the fathers details then either can however apply to the Superintendent Registrar for the area at a further date to get the father's details registered and it unlikely this request would be turned down unless paternity was a issue and then a DNA test would be required.

Secondly, having the father's name on the Birth Cert does not give him any rights, him getting joint guardianship either with the agreement of the mother or by applying to the courts for him gives him some rights, access, signing for passports, picking out schools etc. 

Thirdly, the child can have both parents names on the birthcerts, however if your daughter double-barrells the surname with a hypen say if she calls her Lucy Doyle-Kennedy then this is her name for everything unless she changes it by deedpoll at a later date.  If she names her Lucy Doyle Kennedy (no Hyphen) then she can for official purposes Childrens Allowance etc. call her that but for common day usage she can call her Lucy Doyle or Lucy Kennedy or indeed Lucy Doyle Kennedy. As Kildrought said the Treoir website is an excellent source for single parent scenarios.

Finally, this is a very emmotional time for her and perhaps she hopes that their relationship will rekindle once the baby is born, possibly the reason for wanting his name given to the baby, thread carefully it is more about being there for her at the moment, good luck to all.


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## Gordanus (6 Jan 2009)

Bronte said:


> While I agree with Vanilla, as far as I know if the child is registered with both parents it can lead to problems down the line with getting passports.  If things get acrimonious he could make life difficult by refusing to sign for a passport.



Just being registered as the father doesn't give him rights.  My son's father is on his birth cert but whenever I got the child a new passport, I just swore (in front of a commissioner for oaths!) that I was the sole legal guardian, and that was all that was required.  

From experience, I think it has been much better for my son to know who his father is even though contact has been little....and maintnence less.  But that's partly because his father lives in Australia.   I don't badmouth the father, because the child would feel himself to be badmouthed being genetically half the father's.


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## truthseeker (6 Jan 2009)

Gordanus said:


> I don't badmouth the father, because the child would feel himself to be badmouthed being genetically half the father's.



One parent bad mouthing the other (besides being plain old bad form) can come back and bite later when the child grows up and forms an adult opinion of the other parent themselves and wonders why mammy (or daddy) was talking rubbish for so many years......


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## nesbitt (8 Jan 2009)

Bronte said:


> While I agree with Vanilla, as far as I know if the child is registered with both parents it can lead to problems down the line with getting passports. If things get acrimonious he could make life difficult by refusing to sign for a passport. That said he will be the child's father forever and for your own sake you should stay out of it. It's between them and you really don't know what is going on nor will you ever. Hope things work out.


 
As far as I know your daughter will not have a problem obtaining child's passport as she will be sole guardian....  Problems can arise where couples were married and one party will not assist with normal application but even then there is procedure in place to deal with such a situation.  

Other wise there would be 1000's of children having problems getting a passport and prevented from traveling, not so, thankfully.


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