# Partner being bullied at work



## elainem (6 Jul 2012)

Hi! My partner is being bullied at work since he started his new job in May. It's definitely bullying as his brother is a solicitor and has read all the incidents that happed - too numerous to put on here. My partner has complained to management, but he has been moved 30 miles away and the bully has been reinstated.

My partner has now been offered a new job but it is 60 miles away from home - the job is permanent and pensionable - he is thinking of taking it because of the situation in work. People are telling him to fight on in his current job, but he doesn't see the point. It's affecting his mental health, and he is afraid also that they will get rid of him after the probationery period because of his complaint of bullying (My partner also recorded the verbal bullying on his iphone. 

What would you all advise - stick with it or move to new job further away. It seems like generally the bullies get away with things. Any advice and comments really welcome.


----------



## mercman (6 Jul 2012)

cashier said:


> Oh no not again..... whatever you do do not post those incidents on a public forum



Bit of a pointless post, especially as the topic concerns Bullying.


----------



## gianni (6 Jul 2012)

elainem said:


> My partner has complained to management, but he has been moved 30 miles away and the bully has been reinstated...It's affecting his mental health...
> 
> What would you all advise - stick with it or move to new job further away. It seems like generally the bullies get away with things. Any advice and comments really welcome.



Move.

Why would he want to stay working somewhere where the management deem that he needs to be moved and the bully reinstated? 

Life is too short and mental health too precious.


----------



## Diziet (8 Jul 2012)

Move. Staying on and fighting is all well and good from the outside, but moving is simpler and ultimately much better for his mental health. Bullying complaints are almost never resolved properly.


----------



## Kkma (8 Jul 2012)

Move - can always keep looking for something nearer home. Nothing is worth compromising your mental health.


----------



## padraigob (8 Jul 2012)

I practise as a psychotherapist and do a lot of this type of work. The issues are complex. In this world it is not always the case that victims are treated fairly (as in this case). Depends on the employer, their grivance procedures/dignity at work policy and the resilience of the victim. Sounds like there is good evidence here for a case, I have been an expert witness in the high court on like issues. At the least an issue of constructive dismissal can be pursued. Speak to an independant Solicitor with experience in these issues. Also get their mental health tended to... IAHIP website and find a good therapist.
p


----------



## reddanmm (8 Jul 2012)

My god Elainem and dont take this the wrong way but you seem to jump from one crisis to the next, if i had all the problems you had i would be a babbling wreck .

Anyway if your partner is being treated this way he should take the new job life is too short to be enduring treatment like that . 

You say he was moved 30 miles away is he being bullied in the new office as well..  
Is there not anyone in his office that he can talk to and find out why this is going on and what fueled it in the first place . It seems that from the way you say it that they just took an instant dislike to him . If he is still not happy 30 miles away from the bully he should leave and move on,  he will only make himself more stressed and put himself in danger of tipping over the edge and no job is worth that.


----------



## john martin (8 Jul 2012)

Hi Elainem, another problem for you. The main thing is his mental well being and the stress of this type of problem can be very damaging.


----------



## Bronco Lane (9 Jul 2012)

I don't ever remember you mentioning a partner in your previous postings. Is this a new partner?  The reason I ask this is because if you have only recently met this person the bullying claim might be more to do with your historic problems than anything else. Has your new partners bullying claims only surfaced since you came on the scene. Just looking at it from another angle.


----------



## shipibo (11 Jul 2012)

Elaine


      Present company could release your partner at any time during probation if they wanted, the days of seeing out probation periods are gone ... I speak from practical experience.

       What reasons would your partner have for staying in present role .. is travel the issue with moving to other role ??


----------



## shipibo (11 Jul 2012)

I think it is inappropriate to make personal comments about previous posts, or comment on issues the OP has posted in the past.


----------



## glynner (11 Jul 2012)

+1

I agree crumdub12 well put,

I thought this site was ment to offer advice on issues not comment on posters previous posts, if you have nothing constructive to say,its best to  keep opinions to yourself.


----------



## Cailte (3 Aug 2012)

Completely agree with the above, this is happening more and more on this forum (people bringing up poster's previous posts and using them almost against them) and it is extremely unpleasant and upsetting to read.

OP, I would agree with other poster's who advised your partner to move. Life is too short and i know it isn't fair but having also been in simliar situations in the past, I have learnt that it is easier to just move and get away from the situation, rather than stay and fight. Best of luck to you both.


----------



## smyths (4 Aug 2012)

If it is private sector, Move.  If it is Public sector fight it now or it will continue wherever you go.  A good union rep can help, sometimes, or at least give advice.


----------



## elainem (4 Aug 2012)

*Partner being bullied*

Hi! Smyth and Cailte, thanks for your replies. It was the private sector and he moved. He is much happier now. Management wasn't much help.


----------



## SlugBreath (5 Aug 2012)

Well this problem seems to be cleared up.....next!


----------



## elainem (5 Aug 2012)

*Partner being bullied*

Hi! I'm glad you all have such perfect lives, and people to support you!!!!


----------



## Spear (5 Aug 2012)

elainem said:


> Hi! I'm glad you all have such perfect lives, and people to support you!!!!


 
Not sure I get this point.....??


----------



## PaddyBloggit (5 Aug 2012)

I reckon it was in response to SlugBreath's comment .... 'next!' where he/she seemed to be insinuating that *elainem* has (or will have) another difficulty/problem to post.


----------



## Spear (6 Aug 2012)

PaddyBloggit said:


> I reckon it was in response to SlugBreath's comment .... 'next!' where he/she seemed to be insinuating that *elainem* has (or will have) another difficulty/problem to post.


 
Oh.  I would have thought that was the point of this site.


----------

