# Getting married abroad and on a budget...



## Tarquin (12 Dec 2005)

Could


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## Ann-Marie (12 Dec 2005)

have a look at www.weddingsonline.ie you might get some ans there


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## Marie (12 Dec 2005)

Tarquin said:
			
		

> Could anyone recommend any agency that they might know of that does good deals for someone getting married abroad? Ive been looking up agencies for my sister (who just does not want to spend a fortune on getting married) but some seem very expensive. She has nothing booked yet but she is set on the idea of going away to get married to avoid the expense here.


 
I don't really understand the issue.  An important aspect of 'getting married' is that one becomes part of the one's partner's family and vice-versa, and the families establish a social, genetic and economic relationship through the alliance (this is the anthropological description).  If your sister doesn't want to 'have a reception' (which is the expensive bit, with all the gear, bridesmaids, video etc.) then they can be married quietly at 7.00am Mass on a weekday morning with no-one present but the priest and a handful of unknown devouts.  Surely 'going abroad' to Thailand or whatever is tantamount to deciding to spend money on a holiday/honeymoon exclusively for the couple themselves, rather than a decision not to have an extravagant and costly reception?


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## Eurofan (12 Dec 2005)

One of the pros about getting married abroad is you tend to lose the 'hangers-on' (you know all those people who you couldn't really care less about but have to invite because they invited you to their Jimmys wedding etc. etc.).

He didn't say they wanted to spend 'nothing' (aka the 7am option on a weekday  ) he just said they didn't want to spend a fortune.

As someone whos only recently engaged and looking into the hows/wheres/HOW MUCH!?! of the wedding I can certainly sympathise.

In fairness to the couple it's hardly an either/or decision with regard to "extravagant reception"/"holiday for themselves" as you put it. You could spend a few months seeing the world in style for what an average reception is going for these days! For what it's worth you're looking at a minimum of about 20k today for something fairly average (100-120 guests). Add another 10k to that for something really nice and the skys the limit beyond that.

On the actual point though Tarquin you may find these things are much cheaper to organise yourself. We've traveled a lot and so would not quite baulk at the thought of this as much as many would but bear in mind going via an agency will add a hefty percentage onto the overall cost, this may be worth it though for a good service.

I'd also suggest it may not be a bad idea (if at all possible) to visit the location first. We've a shortlist of wonderful and beautiful spots that we've been lucky enough to visit already and would make superb locations for both the ceramony and the reception.

Finally the internet is your friend here. Time spent with google will be time well spent, research research research, don't take anything you're told as gospel go and investigate yourselves. Oh and tell her congrats!


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## september05 (13 Dec 2005)

You can get married in a 4/5 star hotel in Mauritius for the two of you, all inclusive (including all alcohol), wedding ceremony for approximately €6,000 including taxes.  Try Thomas Cooke at the bottom of Grafton Street (Nikki or Brigid - they're both very helpful).


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## gnashers (13 Dec 2005)

Hi Tarquin, 
The Tuesday Travel section of George Hooks program on Newstalk 106 did a special on getting married abroad last week. I'm sure if you email them ([broken link removed]) they will be able to send you the email with all the details from that show. They had a lot of good ideas - particularly Italy, and they seemed reasonable enough. this week they're doing honeymoons...


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## Berlin (13 Dec 2005)

I got married in Italy last year and booked everything myself over the internet. Any site which offers a package will charge you for the privilege. There's nothing you can't organise yourself if you put a little time and effort into it.


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## Vanilla (13 Dec 2005)

> Oh and tell her congrats!


 
It is impolite to congratulate the bride to be- you should only congratulate the groom to be. For the bride, the old fashioned ' I hope you'll be very happy' is appropriate.


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## Eurofan (13 Dec 2005)

Vanilla said:
			
		

> It is impolite to congratulate the bride to be- you should only congratulate the groom to be. For the bride, the old fashioned ' I hope you'll be very happy' is appropriate.



Get out! Really? I'm all for good manners but I think thats nonsense. Shes entitled to congratulations just as much as he is  (in much the same train of thought I'll hold doors open for men just as well as women and appreciate the gesture in return, regardless of sex).


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## Vanilla (13 Dec 2005)

Well, saying congratulations is a bit like saying well done on your catch, ok for a man, not so good for a woman. Probably terribly old fashioned now. And I wouldn't hold a door open for a man unless he was obviously frail or elderly as I would consider that a little insulting too. Men should, on the whole, open doors for women, not the other way around. Although its entirely different if you are holding the door open for someone coming after you- that would be fine. And men should always walk on the outside of the pavement when passing a woman, never inside them etc etc Just my opinion!


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## kazbah (13 Dec 2005)

Vanilla said:
			
		

> Well, saying congratulations is a bit like saying well done on your catch, ok for a man, not so good for a woman. Probably terribly old fashioned now. And I wouldn't hold a door open for a man unless he was obviously frail or elderly as I would consider that a little insulting too. Men should, on the whole, open doors for women, not the other way around. Although its entirely different if you are holding the door open for someone coming after you- that would be fine. And men should always walk on the outside of the pavement when passing a woman, never inside them etc etc Just my opinion!


 
It is 2005, right?
Are you for real??!?!?!?

What about vegas?

Obviously those organised packages work out more expensive most of the time!


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## Vanilla (13 Dec 2005)

LOL, well I DID say 


> Probably terribly old fashioned now


 
however my experience is that most men of my acquaintance do these things without even thinking about it. ( Obviously well brought up).


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## ClubMan (13 Dec 2005)

Marie said:
			
		

> An important aspect of 'getting married' is that one becomes part of the one's partner's family and vice-versa, and the families establish a social, genetic and economic relationship through the alliance (this is the anthropological description).


To some people - not all.


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## Sherman (13 Dec 2005)

Too right Clubman - I though marriage was about marrying an individual, not their extended family, let alone their extended family's economic situation  . Unless of course you marry a Getty, in which case bring on the economic joining together!


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## Marie (13 Dec 2005)

Sherman said:
			
		

> Too right Clubman - I though marriage was about marrying an individual, not their extended family, let alone their extended family's economic situation  . Unless of course you marry a Getty, in which case bring on the economic joining together!


 
No!  Marriage is _not_ about "marrying an individual", it is a social, political and cultural institution which is extremely complex and multilayered.  Unfortunately (as you accurately point out) this perspective has practically disappeared and the networks produced through alliances of marriage are replaced by individual _and _collective resort to fora such as this for advice and support.

Having experienced its absence and replacement by selfish disregard for the presence of others in recent years I feel the disappearance of the etiquette described by Vanilla diminishes social interaction.


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## ClubMan (13 Dec 2005)

Marie said:
			
		

> No!  Marriage is _not_ about "marrying an individual", it is a social, political and cultural institution which is extremely complex and multilayered.


Says who? None of that is in the marriage contract that myself and my wife signed.



> Unfortunately (as you accurately point out) this perspective has practically disappeared and the networks produced through alliances of marriage are replaced by individual _and _collective resort to fora such as this for advice and support.


 *If *this is true why is would this necessarily be a bad thing? From another perspective seeking advice and feedback from more than just a limited pool of individuals (e.g. one's family and in-laws) might be considered a good thing for the individuals involved and for humankind in general as it might expose them to more diverse views and more options for coping with situations?



> Having experienced its absence and replacement by selfish disregard for the presence of others in recent years I feel the disappearance of the etiquette described by Vanilla diminishes social interaction.


 Maybe the problem is that you are generalising from a position of having had a bad experience and you might be arriving at inaccurate conclusions? Why do you assume that this thread necessarily relates to the _"selfish disregard for the presence of others" _just because a couple of people want to do their marriage their way or because many people see no harm in standing on their own two feet as adults instead of permanently depending on their (immediate or extended) families?


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## Berlin (14 Dec 2005)

Ah Tarquin! The above is perhaps the best illustration of why its a good idea to DIY when it comes to getting married - so many people with so many different opinions on someone else's business!


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## tall chapy (14 Dec 2005)

There are some basic questions Tarquin..
(assuming you are RC)
Do you want a Roman Catholic wedding. If the answer to this is yes. 
If you wish to get married in a church in europe.it is not too bad.
If you wish to get a Roman Catholic wedding in a distant destination it gets a lot more difficult.Letters of freedom, organising the church on the other end.etc..
If you want the more simplistic wedding(non RC). Most long haul brochures have a wedding section where your trip can include the wedding. Thomas Cook, Hayes & Jarvis (who I went with..),Kouni...etc..Getting these brochures should be your first stop.Compare and contrast each destination, some have special offer..ie 2 weeks for the prices of one...
Personally, I booked my it all myself, before the days of the internet !!!
Though I did not book the my trip with these. I believe Merrion Travel near Baggot Street specialise in weddings.


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## ClubMan (14 Dec 2005)

tall chapy said:
			
		

> (assuming you are RC)


Why assume this?


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## tall chapy (14 Dec 2005)

Why not ???


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## ClubMan (14 Dec 2005)

Because not everybody is _RC_.


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## casiopea (15 Dec 2005)

ClubMan said:
			
		

> Because not everybody is _RC_.



Im sure tall chapy knows that ClubMan, he based his response on the assumption that the OP was, and made it very clear in his/her post that this was an _assumption_.  An assumption is a proposition that is assumed, i.e., treated within the context of a discussion as if it were known to be true or false ([broken link removed].

At no point did he/she say everyone was RC.


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