# Bereavement Grants & Funeral Expenses - what am I entitled to?



## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

I don't know if this is in the right forum or not but here goes:-

My father recently passed away, we hadn't talked in over ten years.  I am an only child and am finishing up work next week (to pursue another self employed career that won't give me any income for at least the next year - I won't be on the dole but won't be earning either if you know what i mean??).  I am married and my spouse is currently working.

Anyway, my father was in receipt of social welfare (illness benefit) at the time of his death and was also in temporary accomodation.  I have now been left with a funeral bill of nearly €5k, which apparently everyone else expects me to pay.  My parents were divorced and I would not ask my mother to contribute.  I am going to apply for the bereavement grant, but is there anything else I can apply for?  I feel it is very unfair that I am the one who gets lumped with this bill for someone, I had no contact with for over ten years and the rest of his family (my aunt's and uncles) expect me to pay for all of this???  Any info/advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## Padraigb (24 Sep 2010)

Who organised the funeral? In particular, who contracted with the undertaker? That is the person to whom the undertaker should apply for payment. The person who pays for the funeral is the one entitled to claim the bereavement grant.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

My aunt and myself dealt with the undertaker.  They made the bill out to me.


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## truthseeker (24 Sep 2010)

Bright said:


> My aunt and myself dealt with the undertaker. They made the bill out to me.


 

Did he have an estate and could the funeral be paid for out of his estate?


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## Padraigb (24 Sep 2010)

I think that leaves you exposed. It's possible that  your aunt also should bear some of the cost, but you are getting into very difficult territory, both in law and in family relationships.

Sorry that I can't think of anything more helpful to you. Obviously circumstances worked to your disadvantage: people are never fully prepared for problems like this, and get caught.

[Truthseeker's post arrived as I was composing mine. Obviously, if he had any assets they should be applied to covering funeral expenses. I was presuming that there was nothing available.]


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

No assets at all i'm afraid   Typical selfish behaviour.  He had recieved a large sum in the last year from his mother's estate, but unfortuantely the pub and bookies recieved the benefit of it all.....  So upset that I get left with this bill.  Don't want to start a family row by asking rest of them (his brother's and sisters) for money - way they see it he got his share of their mother's estate, knew he was dying and blew it all away anyway - why should they give over some of their share to pay for his expenses???  This next of kin business is a nightmare when you don't want to be one....


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## truthseeker (24 Sep 2010)

Nasty situation alright. You can apply for the bereavement grant, you will find info on citizens information.
[broken link removed]

Other than that in your shoes Id be asking his brothers/sisters to chip in.


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

Bright,  I think you should ask the rest of his family to chip in.  It's not your fault he blew all of the money he was left.  Perhaps they aren't offering because they think there is money there.  

If that was a member of my family and they were struggling paying for a funeral (especially when they hadn't seen the person for 10 years) I would ask everyone to chip in something.

Perhaps if you must mention it to the aunt you organised the funeral with, she can mention it to the others.  Won't be as embarrassing for you having to ask everyone directly.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

Thanks scotsgirl.  I think they are not offering because they know that he is due a small amount from a relative's estate (which depends on the sale of a property and which is very messy and complicated and will likely take years and won't cover the entire cost) and they think, sure that will cover it.  However, the undertakers aren't going to wait years to be paid and in the meantime it would appear that i'm liable for it.  I'm so upset and worried about it all.  I'm not the type to let a bill go unpaid so it looks like i'll have to come up with the money now (i'm finishing up work next week) which is going to be a stretch.


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

I really think you should mention this to your aunt and tell her the amount due from the relatives estate could take years.  You can say that whenever this does come through you can divide out the amount equally between everyone that has contributed to the cost of the funeral.  Is your aunt approachable?  My family aren't the easiest to get on with and are sometimes on another planet when it comes to thinking of things like that themselves but would be horrified if they thought I was in financial difficulty (not due to my own fault).  It may just not have occured to your father's family that you are in trouble with this bill.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

They all know how much the bill is for, they all know i'm finishing work next week too.....oh and did i mention, non of them talk to each other either so no one gets on, I think I would start WW3 and be told to F off if I ask for a contribution....I don't need anymore worry and hassle and to fall out with anyone over this either.  PS they're not the type to be horrified that i am in financial difficulty over this either.....Families eh???


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

Ah Bright,  sorry to hear that. I thought maybe they just didn't realise.  Don't really know what to say to you then. Let's just hope the bereavement grant doesn't take too long coming through.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

Thanks scotsgirl.  The grant is only €850, but I suppose its better than nothing....


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

Is better than nothing alright.

What age was your father?  If he was under 70 when he died and had a credit union account, they pay insurance out.  My ex died four years ago and even though he only had a few quid in the credit union, they gave out an extra payment of €1,000 (or thereabouts) to the estate as he was under 70.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

Yeah, he was under 70 scotsgirl, have written to CU today to see if he had any sort of account - don't think he did though....Didn't know CU did that. Fingers crossed he had a few cent left in one if he did (although its very unlikely!).


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

Well, when my ex died (pretty well penniless) and with no will, his brother dealt with his estate.  His brother was surprised he even had a tiny bit of money saved there, and was delighted when the CU told him about the insurance payout.  His family wanted to give any money there was to our son (very decent of them).  The only thing is it took a few months to get as he hadn't made a will, but if you are due this at least it would pay something off the bill eventually.  

My fingers are crossed for you!


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## truthseeker (24 Sep 2010)

Bright said:


> Yeah, he was under 70 scotsgirl, have written to CU today to see if he had any sort of account - don't think he did though....Didn't know CU did that. Fingers crossed he had a few cent left in one if he did (although its very unlikely!).


 
All CUs have different rules, when my parents died their CU loans were written off and the amounts in their accounts doubled and passed onto the next of kin - it depends on the CU - so definitely ask them about that.


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

Cool, will do truthseeker. Highly unlikely he had an a/c with them anyway (not as easy to access cash from a CU as it is from an atm!)


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## truthseeker (24 Sep 2010)

Bright said:


> Cool, will do truthseeker. Highly unlikely he had an a/c with them anyway (not as easy to access cash from a CU as it is from an atm!)


 
I hear ya!

What about his personal possessions - anything that could be sold?

Id also ask the undertakers about this - its very unfair that you are being stuck with the bill, why didnt they make it out to you and your aunt?


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## Bright (24 Sep 2010)

truthseeker said:


> What about his personal possessions - anything that could be sold?


 
Nope, I recieved a suitcase of unwashed clothes from his temporary accomodation.....oh and an old mobile phone...


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## Scotsgirl (24 Sep 2010)

Nice!


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## thesimpsons (25 Sep 2010)

Feel terrible for  you - its a tough one.  Any chance you could get the undertakers to reissue the bill to your aunt for 50% of the cost of the funeral less the amount you'll get for the breavement grant.  Actually - does your aunt know you have received the bill already ? any chance she is waiting to hear what her contribution is?


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## Samantha (28 Sep 2010)

If the funeral will put a huge pressure on your finance and you cannot afford it, you should check with your local social welfare office, there is special payment for circumstance like this, a relative died a few months ago and the parents could not afford it as both on social welfare and they got a special payment of EUR 3000 towards the cost.


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## sam h (28 Sep 2010)

Talk to your undertaker about this as they will be aware of all & any grants that are out there (and there are a number).

Was this the cheapest the undertaker was able to do the funeral for or did you add on extras (such as cars, upgraded coffin etc).  

Also, did the undertaker try to understand who would pay for the funeral & what funds were available.  It is in his interest not to oversell you as he wants to get at the end of the day.

He should help you out as it is in his interest to do so & will be able to give you details of what help is out there or come to an arrangement on how to pay it down over time.


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## Bright (28 Sep 2010)

Thanks for all your replies.  I am going to contact my local community welfare officer this afternoon to see how I get on - I don't think that I will get anywhere, my spouse is earning and I think his income will be taken into account.  I might try the argument that it should be the deceased's capacity to pay that should be taken into account, given the circumstances of the case.....


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