# child maintenace and new marriage



## trearty (21 Feb 2007)

I wonder could anyone advise me. My husband and I are caring for his four children every weekend sat and sun and one night during the week after school. He pays an agreed amount of maintenance, agreed with his ex prior to meeting me and she receives all child benefit. He also pays half of all costs for school expenses, uniforms, after school classes, school trips as well as half of costs for Xmas and Communion/Confirmation costs. His ex is actually receiving more of an income now than he is and he literally could not afford to pay her anymore than he is already. She is threatening him with legal action for more cash. They were never married.
I wondered about joint custody and what that entails as we could easily have the children for the amount of time that she does, get them to school etc. I also wondered whether my income could be taken into account if we were taken to court. We have a child together and both have to work to pay mortgage and childcare costs.


----------



## ClubMan (21 Feb 2007)

Anything useful on CitizensInformation?

You probably need to talk to a solicitor who specialises in family law cases.


----------



## trearty (21 Feb 2007)

Thanks for that. I have checked that site but doesn't seem to be able to answer my questions specifically. Has anyone out there any knowledge or experience of my case?


----------



## mo3art (21 Feb 2007)

trearty, I think you will find more information on www.rollercoaster.ie

There is an excellent single parents / separated divorced / step parents board where you will find good advice.  You might want to read over the threads before you post, there is a good bit of discussion on many of topics you mention here.

The obligation is on your husband to maintain his children, without doubt.  The min recommended by the District Court is €75 p/week and max is €150 p/week per child.  Maintainance is calculated based on the needs of the child/ren, and the means of both parents.  Each parent technically should be expected to contribute equally to the upkeep of their children.  However there is an awful lot to be said for having to give up work and take care of 4 children, so you cannot expect the mother in this case to pay half of all the children's expenses for upkeep.

To get joint custody you would have to have a justifyable position and you don't mention that the children are in danger or have expressed a wish to stay with you 50% of the time for starters.  You also would more than likely have to apply to the courts for this.

This information is only based on very basic information and experience that I have, and there are many more experienced posters on these boards, and on rollercoaster than I and I hope you get some information there.

HTH


----------



## Gordanus (21 Feb 2007)

I *think* that he can claim for them on his tax and be called a single parent (which doubles his tax-free allowance) if he has them to stay frequently.  Try Treoir for information - they're very good on this stuff.


----------



## Mel (22 Feb 2007)

Gordanus said:


> I *think* that he can claim for them on his tax and be called a single parent (which doubles his tax-free allowance) if he has them to stay frequently. Try Treoir for information - they're very good on this stuff.


 
As long as he isn't co-habiting.


----------



## trearty (23 Feb 2007)

Thank you all for your replies. If the children's mother is working full time and all children are school age, would you not expect the parents to divide the costs of the children's expenses equally between them? the father is now left with  only 100 euros a month after all bills and mortgage is paid whereas it has been calculated roughly that the mother is left with a good deal more. remember that we look after the children nearly half the week.


----------



## mo3art (23 Feb 2007)

In short no.

Going on your account of the access for starters it is not a 50/50 access arrangment although your dh has the children for longer than the norm.  Whether or not the children are in the house of his ex, the children still have to be provided for - light/heat/room in the house etc.

Child maintenance should ideally be provided as an all inclusive payment.  So the payment that is made to the custodial parent should technically include for all extras such as medical / school expenses, christmas, special occasions etc.  In saying that, many parents do come to an agreement to split these extra expenses 50/50 and then have a lower maintenance payment for various reasons.

If it's the case that the maintenance is putting your dh into genuine financial hardship then perhaps he should consider discussing with his ex the likelihood of reducing the maintenance amount with regards to the impact it would have on his childrens' day to day life.  I am aware of a number of dads in your dh's situation who would be delighted with €100 left over a month after bills.  Many of the dads I would know are depending on their partners and/or family to make up the shortfall in order to ensure that their children don't lose out on the quality of their life.

While I do understand the position your dh and you are in, I think you are being unrealistic and perhaps you should take a look at the boards I mentioned above to see a snapshot of what it's like for single/separated/divorced parents.


----------

