# Pregnancy and a new job offer??



## Mel2009 (4 Aug 2009)

Hi all,

I am currently unemployed for the first time in my life (redundancy) but have just been offered a permanent job in a large accountancy firm. I only had one interview and they offered me the job that same day and then emailed me a contract to consider. I negotiated a bit and agreed to a revised contract which they will have ready for me to sign in person when I start the job later this week.

My question is about telling them I am pregnant. I know I do not legally have to tell them (I am about 3 months now) but I would feel much better if I did before I actually sign the contract. There was no way I'd mention it in an interview or over the phone so in person when I see them next seems the best solution. I obviously want to cover myself though so that there is no way I am jeopardising this job as I cannot afford not to get it but I also don't want to go into a new role being dishonest. The job is a permanent role with a standard 6 month probationary period and no listed maternity benefits in the contract. I am not expecting any maternity benefits from the new employer - I just want a job I can come back to and obviously I would get the standard state benefits.

Some people are telling me to say nothing until the contract is officially signed and I guess I am still in a bit of a "dangerous time" as it is early in my pregnancy (meaning that I could still suffer a miscarriage or some other awful complication) but I would rather not lie. I see this as a long term job and I am feeling in perfect health (no pregnancy issues of sickness, tiredness, etc - very lucky I know!!) so I am not going to pass it by.

Do you think I am doing the right thing by going in on my first day and telling them before I sign the contract? I think I am right in saying that legally they cannot pull the contract at that stage anyway as it would be blatant discrimination???

Thanks!


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## Brendan Burgess (4 Aug 2009)

I would advise them immediately.

they have to plan their staffing and you will be going on maternity leave just as they hit the busiest period of the year.

Brendan


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## Lilly2099 (4 Aug 2009)

I agree with Brendan, by informing them you will start off on a good foot.


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## Bronte (4 Aug 2009)

If we lived in a perfect world I'd agree with the previous two posters, discrimination against pregnant women is alive and well.  Some employeers are very careful about employing married women of a certain age who do not have children.  If you legally do not have to inform them than I would not.


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## Green (4 Aug 2009)

Bronte said:


> If we lived in a perfect world I'd agree with the previous two posters, discrimination against pregnant women is alive and well. Some employeers are very careful about employing married women of a certain age who do not have children. If you legally do not have to inform them than I would not.


 
I would agree with Bronte, it is not a perfect world. Luckily women like the OP do have the Equality Authority/Tribunal to turn to if they feel they are discriminated against. Hopefully that won't happen in this case.


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## annR (4 Aug 2009)

The OP is currently unemployed.  If she needs a job (and she will need it even more with a dependent child), I don't think she should do anything to jeopardise getting that job.  I can't believe she is being advised to be nice and tell them before signing the contract.  What is the purpose of that - so that the company can change their minds if they want?

>>I would feel much better if I did before I actually sign the contract. <<

Why is that - what you are saying is that you would feel better if you gave them a chance to not give you the job because you are pregnant.  Do you think that is right?

You want the job but you're pregnant, so I think the fair and honest thing to do would be to sign the contract and then tell them, when you are comfortable with making the news public.  You can tell them you signed first because you are unemployed and you need the job, I'm sure they would understand that in the current climate.


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## annR (4 Aug 2009)

Mel2009

I just want to add that although I haven't been in your situation before, I know how nerveracking it is telling management you're pregnant.  I was in a similar situation - I had just moved jobs within the company and I had no idea how my new manager would react - I think that's the scariest bit.  There are many women in that same boat as you are, you're not alone in that.  

Just remember
- they might be delighted for you and perfectly fine with it.  If they're not, they will have to deal with their issues be they personal or business.  Don't take it personally and don't let anyone intimidate you.  From what I've heard sometimes pregnant women are an easy target and easily made feel guilty.
- they would have done the same if they were in your position and needed the job
- they hired you, so that means they want you, so they should be nice to you about this so that you will return to work.


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## Ciaraella (4 Aug 2009)

Mel2009 said:


> My question is about telling them I am pregnant. I know I do not legally have to tell them (I am about 3 months now)


 
Just out of curiousity when does it become legal? i would have thought there would be issues in terms of health and safety etc for example if you fainted or became ill at work they would need to know


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## Mel2009 (4 Aug 2009)

Hi,

Legally you only have to inform them in writing 4 WEEKS before you take maternity leave - crazy I know!!!

I will let you all know what I decide and how it goes - fingers crossed!!!

Thanks!


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## Diziet (4 Aug 2009)

Sign the contract first, then tell them as soon as possible so they can plan staffing. Then yo are being both professional and 'safe'.  If you tell them before the contract is signed, the position may suddenly become unavailable (as in 'we decided not to fill this post after all'). Why jeopardise it?


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## Jewel (5 Aug 2009)

My advice to you would be to start the job and when you are making the news public among your family and friends you can announce it at work. 
If you wished, you could always speak with your direct manager confidentially sooner than that and advise him/her , just to give them as long as possible to consider their long term cover plans. 

There is nothing to be gained by telling them in advance of signing the contract. Plus, your being pregnant has absolutely NO bearing on your ability to do the job, or on the validity of the job offer. It also reeks a little of "confessing" to some misdeameanour, and that you want to "come clean" before you start the job. That attitude just does not sit well with me at all. There is NOTHING shameful, or wrong, or inconsiderate, or anything else negative about your being pregnant. You have EVERY right to be pregnant and to plan your family according to the times that suit you and your family. 

I would advise you to keep this in mind when telling your employer your news. I would further advise you to ensure that when you are telling your employer that your body language or your chosen words do not in any way convey some kind of apologies for being pregnant... again, by using words like "I'm sorry to tell you...", or "I feel bad saying this...." or "I wanted to tell you before I started...." etc etc give the impression of wrong doing where there has been no wrong doing. The language you use in your post (_go into a new role being dishonest...I would rather not lie._..) gives the impression that you do see something wrong with being pregnant, and I can't for the life of me see why this is. How have you lied, or how are you being dishonest... did someone ask you outright if you are pregnant and you said no? By keeping your private news private, how is this lying? Any manager worth his/her salt knows that if they hire a woman of child bearing age, then there is a possibility that she might get pregnant, or be pregnant. They cannot exactly be bowled over by such news, and further, 4 to 5 months is PLENTY time for a manager to arrange cover.... after all, if someone is leaving a job they typically give 1-2 months notice and businesses around the country manage to carry on, and recruit and backfill roles in time. Don't stress about it. 

For what it's worth, I am a HR Manager and also a mother of two smallies, so I write with a business hat on as well as my personal hat on. 
FYI......I started this job when I was 11 weeks pregnant. When I told my manager, she and her manager offered me their heartiest congratulations. I passed my 6months probation and went on mat leave within couple of days of one another. I came back from mat leave, was promoted 2months later and then 2 months after that I told them I was pregnant again. When I came back from my second mat leave I was promoted again within 3mths. In other words, there were no negative reactions. Hopefully you will experience the same modern/enlightened response.


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## Mel2009 (7 Aug 2009)

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for your advice.

Well I started the job yesterday and before they gave me my contract to sign I took the HR woman aside and told her that I was pregnant. I told her that I thought it was still "early days" but I had a hospital appt in a few weeks to confirm my exact dates. She did not ask me how far along or anything and just listed and said ok and that she'd mention it to my boss. So it went well. Then she introduced me to her colleague who gave me my contract and took me on a tour, took me to my desk, gave me my swipe card, set me up on email, etc so I was definitely NOT going anywhere! Within 2 hours of starting I was in a meeting with the CEO of the company, LOL, and I suggested something that impressed him so that was good. 

Unfortunately my boss was away yesterday and was only in briefly today so I was chatting to her for like 4 minutes with no time to discuss anything. She was really lovely to me though and I was wondering if she knew or not. She mentioned that she heard I'd impressed the CEO and that she was happy about that!  I asked HR later and they had told her already. I had to ring her later on her mobile and she said that HR had told her my news. She congratulated me straight away. I thanked her and kind of laughed and said that I hoped she was not too shocked. She said she was but just for a few minutes. Then she asked how I was feeling and said for me to be sure to tell her if I was not feeling well or anything so that was lovely!!! 

So overall it went great and I am soooo relieved I told them upfront. I have told a few others in work now so it will slip out naturally at the beginning and not like a secret. Also there is another pregnant woman working on my floor (5 months along) and she's lovely (and a solicitor, LOL). Apparently the company don't pay ANY maternity leave no matter how long you're there! Ah well, I wasn't expecting it anyway! 

SO I'm feeling good and am busy straight away now in my job and glad all is out in the open. So glad I told them but glad also that the law is on the side of pregnant women!!! I knew they could not take the offer away without knowing they'd be sued.

Jewel, you are totally right by the way that it is not something to apologise for but it seems so common to fall into the trap of doing that. I just told them straight up, no apologies, and I'm glad I did it that way.

Thanks again for all your advice!!!


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## annR (7 Aug 2009)

Mel2009
That's really great news and it sounds like they were great about it.  Enjoy your new job and your pregnancy 
A


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## Jewel (7 Aug 2009)

Excellent news - glad you got the response that you are legally entitled to get. 

Enjoy the new job ;-)


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## BONDGIRL (19 Aug 2009)

that is really great it went well, but I defo wouldnt of told them before I signed as I am telling you as a woman there is SO much discrimnation against pregnant women and a lot of companies can get away with murder in the courts. take it from someone who knows personally..


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