# Addressing your mum/ mam/ mother



## Merrion (3 Jan 2008)

Had this discussion last night with some friends on how people address their mother...

Some felt that Mam was more commonly used than Mum but others thought differently so just wondering what version people used?


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## Protocol (3 Jan 2008)

We have always called our father by his first name.  The word "Dad" has never been used in our household.

I don't like Mum or Mummy - too English.


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## Cahir (3 Jan 2008)

I've always said Mam.  I don't like the word Mum but it seems to be more common now than it was when I was growing up.


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## Caveat (3 Jan 2008)

Have always been a 'mum' person - but would agree that it can sound very English. 

Certainly don't use 'mummy' though. Don't like both 'mam' and especially 'mammy' as I think they sound unbelievably childish. 'Mother' sounds way too formal and I've always found the first name thing a bit distant or something.


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## ci1 (3 Jan 2008)

I call mine Mam and always have done. 

I have a friend who calls her mam by her first name and I hate it, its like they're trying to be friends and not mother & daughter.

I've found recently though that my nieces/nephews are calling my sisters Mom!
I think its the American influence on the sitcoms on the likes of Nickleodeon and other such kids channels.


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## ClubMan (3 Jan 2008)

"Mammy" and "daddy" during childhood. "Ma" and "da" from the teenage years much to their chagrin. 

I've noticed that when reading many books to our two year old I find myself automatically translating "mum", "mummy" etc. to "mammy".


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## gramlab (3 Jan 2008)

I use mum, the wife uses mammy - 2 year old a bit confused


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## CCOVICH (3 Jan 2008)

Auld wan/doll.


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## shootingstar (3 Jan 2008)

Im called mom at home (and probably a range of different things behind my back)


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## Harlequin (3 Jan 2008)

I called her Mammy when I was a child, then later Mum or Mom (horrible American imitation phase I went through as a teenager). Occasionally use Momma in a jokey way. Mostly I call her by her name though - I used to work for her and hated calling her Mum at work because it sounded so unprofessional. Plus she's my friend as well as my mother so it kind of suits us.

My father is Dad or Daddy but he refers to himself as Poppa for some obscure reason - it's the source of the Momma name as well. I also call him old man and parental unit (male).


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## deedee80 (4 Jan 2008)

Mammy and Daddy til I was about 10, Mam and Dad since then.  Was never a fan of "mum", don't know what it is....


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## GeneralZod (4 Jan 2008)

Protocol said:


> I don't like Mum or Mummy - too English.



Mum or mother.

Similar aversion to mam.

Mummy is only acceptable to use if you're below about 12 years old.


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## Caveat (4 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Similar aversion to mam


 
Similar in that you think mam sounds English or just that you feel similarly negative towards mam?


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## GeneralZod (4 Jan 2008)

Similar in that I think it's bog Irish.


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## Caveat (4 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Similar in that I think it's bog Irish.


 
  kind of think that too TBH...


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## Caveat (4 Jan 2008)

I'm a little surprised at the relatively strong opinions on this (I include myself here) 

Those who use 'mam' seem to have a fairly strong dislike for 'mum' and vice versa.

What's going on? Could this be (shudder of apprehension) a _class_ thing?


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## Elphaba (4 Jan 2008)

Its worse when husbands and wives call each other Mammy or Daddy...
e.g "Mammy come quick, precious needs her nappy changed"


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## bigjoe_dub (4 Jan 2008)

ma and da.

very northside.  wife (southside) hates been called ma by the kids.  she likes mum.


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## GeneralZod (4 Jan 2008)

What do you do if your kid keeps saying mam and you want to retrain them?


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## cole (4 Jan 2008)

CCOVICH said:


> Auld wan/doll.


That's Donegal all right. Also oul boy/oul fella.


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## ClubMan (4 Jan 2008)

Caveat said:


> Could this be (shudder of apprehension) a _class_ thing?


Yeah - people who say "mum" or "mummy" don't have it!


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## LDFerguson (4 Jan 2008)

deedee80 said:


> Mammy and Daddy til I was about 10, Mam and Dad since then. Was never a fan of "mum", don't know what it is....


 
Same here, although I suspect I was a bit older when I switched over to the more adult-sounding version. 

Although the practice was the subject of fun above, Mrs. F. and I do refer to each other as Mammy and Daddy when in conversation with our kids.  It was like that in our house when I was young and it reinforces the idea that I don't ever want my son or daughter to call me Liam.  Though I've no doubt they'll call me far worse things as they get older.


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## PM1234 (4 Jan 2008)

When in conversation with kids I think its ok to refer to each other as Mam/Dad etc but I've heard people saying it to each other when out and about and there are no kids present. I find it skin crawling


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## DonKing (4 Jan 2008)

I've always called my parents Ma and Da. Growing up in Ballyfermot it wouldn't have looked good in front of my peers if I called my mother, mammy/mum/mummy.

I agree mum/mummy sounds very English.


Refering to my wife in discussions with my children(all under 8) I would refer to her as mammy. They would refer to her as either mammy or mom.(Nickeloden channel!).  

I wouldn't like them to call my wife Ma, but yet I continue to call my mother "Ma". I'm not sure why?


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## GeneralZod (4 Jan 2008)

Well can we agree that we should fight them on the beaches to keep out the adoption of "Mom"?


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## CCOVICH (4 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Well can we agree that we should fight them on the beeches to keep out the adoption of "Mom"?



Too late-I know of friends who have used the term for years.

So don't bother climbing any trees.....


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## GeneralZod (4 Jan 2008)

CCOVICH said:


> Too late-I know of friends who have used the term for years.
> 
> So don't bother climbing any trees.....



Oh my god. Civilisation is breaking down. It's time to head into the bush.


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## MandaC (4 Jan 2008)

I too am a West Dub...and we referred to ours as ma and da, or "The Ma" and "The Da", if we discussing them between ourselves or friends.  

If the Ma was cheesed off with the da, he would  be referred to as "the auld lad" or "that auld lad"

I went to a Funeral a couple of years back for a friend from work whose elderly father, a real old Dub, had passed away.  At the mass a man stepped up and half sang/recited/mumbled  in a gravelly voice, a song called "The Old Man".  It was one of those moments where the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and I will never forget it. Turned out to be Finbar Furey who was a neighbour and very good friend of the da.


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## LDFerguson (4 Jan 2008)

PM1234 said:


> When in conversation with kids I think its ok to refer to each other as Mam/Dad etc but I've heard people saying it to each other when out and about and there are no kids present. I find it skin crawling


 
To be clear, we only do it for the benefit of the kids when they are present.  

(When they're not, I go back to "Boss", "Ma'am" or "M'lady" as usual. )


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## ClubMan (4 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Well can we agree that we should fight them on the beaches to keep out the adoption of "Mom"?





CCOVICH said:


> Too late-I know of friends who have used the term for years.
> 
> So don't bother climbing any trees.....


Don't give up - it took about 4 years before Vichy collapsed!


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## RainyDay (5 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Well can we agree that we should fight them on the beaches to keep out the adoption of "Mom"?



We were brought up in Crumlin in the 60's/70's, and it generally 'Mom' long before there was any American influence. 

With our little one, she generally uses Mammy or Daddy, but she will use first names when she gets frustrated.


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## GeneralZod (5 Jan 2008)

ClubMan said:


> Don't give up - it took about 4 years before Vichy collapsed!



How about something a little more heroic to compare the struggle with.



RainyDay said:


> We were brought up in Crumlin in the 60's/70's, and it generally 'Mom' long before there was any American influence.



That's some consolation. 

It's better than mam anyway


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## ClubMan (5 Jan 2008)

RainyDay said:


> We were brought up in Crumlin in the 60's/70's, and it generally 'Mom' long before there was any American influence.


You must be the only person from _Crumlin _to also use the Royal "we"!


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## PM1234 (7 Jan 2008)

LDFerguson said:


> To be clear, we only do it for the benefit of the kids when they are present.




I hear you


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## REMFAN (7 Jan 2008)

It's 'Mam' or 'Dad' here! I know a lot of people who call their mother 'mam' and address their father by his first name.. An old neighbour once told me off (in a pub!) for calling my father the 'auld fella', it's disrespectful apparently!


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## JP1234 (7 Jan 2008)

I could never imagine calling my parents by their forenames, it was always mam and dad.

My 14 year delights in calling us by our names to annoy us, so we simply refer to him as son or boy to return the favour.


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## capall (7 Jan 2008)

GeneralZod said:


> Similar in that I think it's bog Irish.


 
I don't know what bog irish means to you,but irish speaking children would call their mother Mamai,so that is probably why Mam is in common usage today in ireland.

Interesting  that the word for mother is similar across so many languages
mother,mathair,mere ,mutter,madre,momma,moeder


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## batty (7 Jan 2008)

My bro in law refers to my sister as Ma at all times (their kids are 17 & 20).  It makes my flesh creep for some reason.

I usually call my mother Mam but somtimes Mother or aged parent to annoy her.  My pal calls her parents Mr & Mrs Shuffly.


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## casiopea (7 Jan 2008)

Mum and Dad.  Ive never understood the "I dont like <insert-title>, its very south/north/west/american/<insert location>" argument as frequently (with the exception of the obligatory lapse in teenage years) the title of the parent is chosen by the parent themselves.  I dont ever remember making a decision to call her mum, she taught me to call her mum, because she called her mum mum etc.

That said my other half calls his mum "mami" which is the swiss version of mam and is very common over here.  To me though it obviously sounds like mammy - really weird to hear a grown man refer to his mum as mammy!


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## Madangan (11 Jan 2008)

As a proud bog irish woman I m happy to say I called my mother mammy or when I fell and cut my knee it became MAAAAAAAAAMMY!
At about 12 I suddenly became incredibly sophisticated or so I thought and mammy was so passe so she became mom and so she has remained. It wasnt the american influence I think cos it was over 20 years ago.
My mother is now in her eighties and after two years or so of various health scares im just happy that she is still here in good health so that when I call her mom, mammy,her actual name or hey you shes able to answer!


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## ClubMan (11 Jan 2008)

Madangan said:


> It wasnt the american influence I think cos it was over 20 years ago.


_America/USA_ and its cultural influences existed before 1987!


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## Simeon (11 Jan 2008)

The American culture that I experienced in the days when I called my mother Mom was I Love Lucy, The Jack Benny Show and I Dream Of Jeanie. Incidentally, I still dream of her!


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## beautfan (5 Feb 2008)

When I was young it was Mammy and Daddy and as we got older it changed to Mam and Dad (Mam is said with a very flat west of Ireland accent which I can't help).

A odd time we refer to them by their first names and my brother sometimes calls my father 'auld lad' in light heartned way whereby my father will reply "I'm not old"!!


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## Black Sheep (6 Feb 2008)

I,m Mother, Mum,& Ma to my three children so at least I always know which one is calling


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## ajapale (6 Feb 2008)

Madangan said:


> ...It wasnt the american influence I think cos it was over 20 years ago....


 
In our case it was the american influence but through our american cousins rather than the TV. Dont discount the effect of TV even 20 - 30 years ago - remember the "Brady Bunch" / Sesamie St. etc in the early 70's


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## snuffle (7 Feb 2008)

RainyDay said:


> With our little one, she generally uses Mammy or Daddy, but she will use first names when she gets frustrated.



I find this hilarious when it's very small children doing that - a friend of ours has a 3 year old who will, when annoyed at not getting as much attention as she demands, revert to calling her father by his full name (eg Micheal James Smith) to get his attention 

It was always "mum" in my house (or mother when I was exasperated), but I suspect that was the influence of the beano/dandy/whizzer and chips comics I used to read. 

My parents still refer to each other as "mum" or "dad" when they're talking to me about the other (eg mother says "dad is going to Cork at the weekend with work"), and I'm hitting 30?? Mother also still calls her own mother "gran" in front of me. Odd. it's not as if I won't realise who she's talking about if she uses their actual names...


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## PM1234 (7 Feb 2008)

snuffle said:


> My parents still refer to each other as "mum" or "dad" when they're talking to me about the other (eg mother says "dad is going to Cork at the weekend with work"), and I'm hitting 30?? Mother also still calls her own mother "gran" in front of me. Odd. it's not as if I won't realise who she's talking about if she uses their actual names...




I think this is really lovely. Kinda choked up reading it to be honest.

My mother passed away when I was very young and I'd love to be able to address her or hear others refer to her like that


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## Purple (7 Feb 2008)

ClubMan said:


> You must be the only person from _Crumlin _to also use the Royal "we"!



I read that 5 minutes ago and I'm still laughing


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## Purple (7 Feb 2008)

My brother and I always said Mam and Dad. My sister went to a private school and she called her Mum (and now uses her first name).
...maybe it is a class thing


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## Sue Ellen (7 Feb 2008)

Mam and Dad were standard until there was a certain coolness in the air 

Being told to tell YOUR  FATHER his dinner is on the table when he was well within earshot left us kids grinning to ourselves while we passed on the obvious message for peace sake.  They/we still laugh about it to this day when we mention those delicate moments


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## snuffle (8 Feb 2008)

PM1234 said:


> I think this is really lovely. Kinda choked up reading it to be honest.
> 
> My mother passed away when I was very young and I'd love to be able to address her or hear others refer to her like that



Aw, that's tugging at the aul heartstrings now alright, yeah, I suppose it's kinda nice when you think about it  Sorry to hear that, I do feel guilty when I have a little rant about my mother for eg, and someone else is sitting there thinking "I'd love to still have my own mother around so I could give out about her too!". 

Sueellen, I had that as well - Tell [heavily sarcastic emphasis] YOUR FATHER [/heavily sarcastic emphasis] that dinner is served if he'd be so KIND as to grace us with his presence, while my dad was clearly in earshot and rolling his eyes to heaven


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