# Ex applied for joint custody



## cizzy (17 Jun 2010)

Myself and my ex have been seperated now for 3 years and we have a 5 year old daughter. I live in Cork and he lives in Dublin and he has sent me notification of a court date for next month in Dublin. I am a single mother so i can't afford to get a solicitor. I would greatly appreciate any advice on what steps i need to take now as i have never been through this before. Is there someone i can go and see about this and can i get it changed from Dublin to Cork.


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## Ravima (17 Jun 2010)

you need a solicitor and fairly quickly. 

Try the legal aid board in the first instance.


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## redbhoy (23 Jun 2010)

You dont need a solicitor in the family court. If you have a valid reason for not wanting to give joint custody then the judge most probably wont give it. The judge will try and do whats best for the child.
Even if your ex gets it. You get final say on what happens to the child in any case.

Its not as daunting as you might think in the family court. It'll be you, your ex (and his solicitor if he has one) the clerk and the judge!


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## csirl (24 Jun 2010)

Bear in mind that it is usually in the best interests of the child to have both parents involved in their life.


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## Thirsty (30 Jun 2010)

You don't say if you and your former partner were married?  If you were not married, did your former partner apply for guardianship?


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## maybemaybe (7 Jul 2010)

Don't worry firstly. If he's in Dublin, and your in Cork, its very unlikely he'll get joint Custody.....unless there is serious concerns on your parenting. Presumably your daughter is starting school soon? In Cork? So what does your ex propose? Driving up and down to Cork with her for school? Its not practicable. You can't change the jurisdiction, as he is the applicant, it is where the applicant resides, being Dublin. Does he pay maintenance? I would meet with your legal advisor (legal aid board) and they will allocate a Solicitor in Dublin for you, if thats what you wish. Are you sure its Custoday and not Guardianship?? If its Guardianship.....I'd let him have it, means jack in this country either way. Custoday, would have to say no, I wouldn't allow him. Plus the last time your daughter has been in full FULL time with her father was when she was 2. The Courts will recognize it would be very difficult for her to adjust with him on a 50/50 basis so many years later, unless necessary. Honestly, I wouldn't worry.


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## Pique318 (7 Jul 2010)

@maybemaybe 
Quite sad state of affairs if anything you expect to happen actually does happen.
In the absence of details from the OP regarding any kind of physical/emotional/sexual abuse towards the OP/child, why should the father NOT get joint custody ?
He's doing it now before it's too late. 
If he didn't care about his daughter, why would he apply to a court?

If the OP was the father and it was the mother who was the applicant, I somehow don't think that your advice would be "honestly, I wouldn't worry".

Disgraceful bias in law in these cases.


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## maybemaybe (8 Jul 2010)

Pique: I see where your coming from, and in a way total agree, it is a disgraceful bias - sometimes - however, when the childs permanent place of residence is at the other end of the country, considering she will be of school going age, along with (presumably) full time residence with her mother for the last 3 solid years, its unlikely he would succeed, not because he is the father, but because of the circumstances and general living situation she has had with her mother. But I do see where your coming at this from, the precedence of mothers rights versus fathers rights. However, just because he applied to the Court, it doesn't necessarily mean he cares about his daughter. 
It would seem that there would be a 'better solution' than "joint custody", a few weeks during the summer for Dad, every second xmas, things like that, rather than disrupting her day to day life. And, should the shoe be on the other foot per se, Father applicant, and he was in the situation of the mother. Mother in Dublin (presumably) little or limited access, Dad does all the primary work, schooling, day to day, my advise would still stand, I wouldn't worry.


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## dereko1969 (8 Jul 2010)

It will presumably also depend on what agreement, if any, was made when they split up, were they living together in Dublin? 
If the OP unilaterally decided to remove the child from Dublin to Cork without the agreement of the father then this may count against her.


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