# Overspending on Communions



## DeeFox (8 May 2009)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle6211594.ece

The link gives an article published recently in Sunday Times referring to parents who look for additional financial help for the "big day".

On my "big day" in the eighties I wore an outfit that had previously been worn by two older sisters and a few cousins.  Some relatives called to the house and sandwiches and tea were laid on.  The end.
For a seven year old I had a very nice day.

Why on earth aren't the schools making the uniform mandatory?  The article refers to some schools that have a general white smock for all the students but that some girls "want to dress up" afterwards - there were plenty of things that I wanted as a child but didn't get and it did me no harm at all. 

I'm amazed that the State is giving additional financial assistance to some families for the day.  What about all the dosh that little Fiachra collects - could some of this be given to the parents to return to the poor taxpayer?  Of course not - that would be ridiculous, but then lots of things about this day seem ridiculous to me! 

What do others think?


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## becky (8 May 2009)

My own friend who normally has plenty of common sense nearly lost the will to live when her school tried to change to uniform.  

She has 3 girls and the oldest wasn't one bit bothered about it but the other two were very excited about wearing a white dress.


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## Towger (8 May 2009)

I made the grand sum of €26 for mine, so I did. I friend of my father's gave me a whole Tenner, so he did. BTW I still have it.. 



[broken link removed]


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## Graham_07 (8 May 2009)

becky said:


> the other two were very excited about wearing a white dress.


 
Were they as excited about the purpose of the day or just the dress ? It is an important day and I would agree that little girls are probably more excited than boys, but it's a pity that the meaning is so much lost in the surrounding noise & spend. 

Incidentally my wife's wedding dress has had 4 airings. 
- Wedding dress on the day
- Cut down to Christening robe , used twice for our daughter & son
- Remade up to Communion dress for our daughter
It's interesting to note that the other 3 in the house have all worn that wedding dress. ( I've no desire to do same in any form  )


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## TarfHead (8 May 2009)

> _Other communion shops report that a three-piece suit for boys with matching shirt and tie are €300._


 
Insanity

My 8yo son makes this Communion tomorrow, and his clothes for the day cost about half of that. After the Church, there's no stretch Hummer, no bouncy castle, no chamber orchestra playing in the downstairs loo, no ice sculptures, no caterer.

BTW, I treated myself to a suit for the day (hopefully many wears afterwards) and that didn't cost €300.


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## becky (8 May 2009)

Graham 07- I could not tell you as my brain has an auto shut off button when people talk about weddings/communions and the colour they want to paint the walls. I do know the parents don't go to mass but were very particular about the school the kids went to.

A few years ago in Limerick one of the little girls arrived in a hummer and had a 'communion' maid to help her with her big dress. When she got her piece of bread her head piece lit up with little red lights. None of the other children had any heed in ceremony due to this great entertainment.

The priest was annoyed but as they were one of the few familied who attend mass every week as opposed to most of the others ( like my own friends) who just show up for a few weeks before the event, he said nothing.


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## baldyman27 (8 May 2009)

becky said:


> When she got her piece of bread her head piece lit up with little red lights


 
This is so ridiculously excessive and frankly disgusting that it almost (literally) turned my stomach. I'm no saint (pardon the pun) when it comes to practicing my faith but I do recognize the importance of the different sacraments and take none of them lightly. This is a glaring instance of what is wrong with this country. Shocking. The parents should be put on bread and water for a year to teach them some humility, although it's generally the dregs of society that indulge in this disgusting behaviour, they probably can't spell 'humility', much less have the ability to learn it.


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## Teatime (8 May 2009)

Surely making kids eat the body and blood of a man that lived 2000 years ago is wrong...?


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## becky (8 May 2009)

baldyman27 said:


> This is so ridiculously excessive and frankly disgusting that it almost (literally) turned my stomach. I'm no saint (pardon the pun) when it comes to practicing my faith but I do recognize the importance of the different sacraments and take none of them lightly. This is a glaring instance of what is wrong with this country. Shocking. The parents should be put on bread and water for a year to teach them some humility, although it's generally the dregs of society that indulge in this disgusting behaviour, they probably can't spell 'humility', much less have the ability to learn it.


 
Different stokes.  When I heard the story from someone who attended I had tears in my eyes laughing.


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## baldyman27 (8 May 2009)

becky said:


> Different stokes. When I heard the story from someone who attended I had tears in my eyes laughing.


 
I'm a fairly intolerant person when it comes to certain things, I have an angry gene it seems!!


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## liaconn (8 May 2009)

A friend of mine had a son making his Communion a couple of years ago. She said there was absolute uproar among the parents because the parish priest wanted to change it from Saturday to Sunday as there were several schools in the parish having First Communion the same weekend. Apparently the mothers were dreadfully upset because the hairdressers wouldn't be open on Sundays for them to get their hair done before the ceremony. There was a big meeting about it and I think it had to be switched back to Saturday. Needless to say, most of these mothers hadn't been inside a church since their child's christening.


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## Ash 22 (8 May 2009)

The schools I presume would make it uniform if the parents agreed but its like everything that won't happen as you wont have all in agreement. A lot of children for Confirmation seem to wear uniform. Personally I think theres something special about seeing a little girl in her white dress on Communion day and little boy in his little outfit. All things can be done in moderation of course. Sadly for a lot of people the real meaning of the day is lost and the show takes over.


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## Smashbox (8 May 2009)

> A few years ago in Limerick one of the little girls arrived in a hummer and had a 'communion' maid to help her with her big dress. When she got her piece of bread her head piece lit up with little red lights. None of the other children had any heed in ceremony due to this great entertainment.


 
That is awful. Image what they will want for their confirmation, grad/debs.. wedding?!


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## baldyman27 (8 May 2009)

Smashbox said:


> That is awful. Image what they will want for their confirmation, grad/debs.. wedding?!


 
...divorce settlement


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## liaconn (8 May 2009)

My mother used to do a lot of Vincent de Paul work back in the eighties when nobody had any money. One year they had a rack of beautiful, only worn once Communion dresses which they offered to some very poor families in West Dublin. They all refused point blank to have a second hand dress. So my aunt, who had a large family, very happily took one for her daughter.  I'm sceptical about what people who get financial assistance for First Communions would actually spend the money on or how much they really need it. If you were desperate you would accept charity and there was nothing wrong with those Communion dresses.


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## MandaC (8 May 2009)

20 or even 30 years after making my communion (late 70's) I had a row with my sister about where our communion dresses were bought.  Hers was bought in Hamills (I think it was called) in Thomas Street and I said mine was bought in the communion dress shop in Clondalkin.  

My sister  broke it to me that there was no communion dress shop and it  was actually "the second hand shop".  30 years later I had no idea! They kept it from me for all those years.  I told my mam I was highly insulted would need counselling as it proved I was a deprived child.

We were brought into town for the day, got sausages and chips in Woolworths for our lunch and were allowed buy stupid plastic snakes, badges, kaleidescope thingies you look into and Fuzzy Felt in Hector Greys.  I also bought my first watch (a digital watch) in a jewellers in Thomas Street and thought I was cool.  A homeless man in Thomas Street said I looked like a princess and had made his day and insisted I take a crumpled pound note which he pushed into my hand.

What a day.


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## The_Banker (8 May 2009)

Teatime said:


> Surely making kids eat the body and blood of a man that lived 2000 years ago is wrong...?


 
Finally someone making sense. A 7 year old child has no concept of what the whole ceremony of "communion" actually is.
I find the indoctrination of children at a young age, into a faith they know nothing about to be the sickest part of this whole ceremony.


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## becky (8 May 2009)

Smashbox said:


> That is awful. Image what they will want for their confirmation, grad/debs.. wedding?!


 
Fake tan (orange being the preferred shade), wedding dresse so big they can't fit up the aisle, hair extentions, too much flesh on show and last of all big hoopy gold earings.

I think the reason I laughed so much was the girl who told told the story did it brillantly.


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## Chocks away (8 May 2009)

This has got to be one of the most bizarre excesses in Ireland. And I hate to say it, mothers are at fault for allowing themselves to be sucked in by the keeping up with the Jones' syndrome.


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## S.L.F (9 May 2009)

The_Banker said:


> Finally someone making sense. A 7 year old child has no concept of what the whole ceremony of "communion" actually is.
> I find the indoctrination of children at a young age, into a faith they know nothing about to be the sickest part of this whole ceremony.


 
Every religion in the world does this.

Name one that doesn't.


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## S.L.F (9 May 2009)

My communion back in the early 70's I ended up with £7.50.

I was allowed to buy a tee shirt and a pair of shorts.

Man I looked smashing.

My niece who made hers about 3 years ago got just under €1,000.


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## Pique318 (9 May 2009)

Oh man I love this thread. It's had me laughing the whole way through.
+1 to everybody ! 

Exhibit 'A', m'lud...harrumph !
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/1060434/


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## S.L.F (9 May 2009)

Pique318 said:


> Oh man I love this thread. It's had me laughing the whole way through.
> +1 to everybody !
> 
> Exhibit 'A', m'lud...harrumph !
> http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/1060434/


 
They weren't your own wedding photos by any chance?

Just askin...


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## Pique318 (9 May 2009)

S.L.F said:


> They weren't your own wedding photos by any chance?
> 
> Just askin...



Nah, yer sisters, do ya not remember ? You were the one puking up WKD just off camera


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## micmclo (9 May 2009)

Ah my communion
Got a shirt and slacks in Dunnes.

And the day out was a trip to Supermacs 
And then to the cinema.

What a day!


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## liaconn (9 May 2009)

My mum made my dress and a little coat to go over it. After the church ceremony there was a party back in the school (buns, sweets and orange squash) and then we went off to visit all my relatives. I think we had a sausage and chip lunch in the restaurant above the Savoy cinema in O'Connell Street. The day finished up at my granny and grandads where we had our tea. I wore my communion dress to Mass the following day and then my mother dyed my white shoes tan so I could get some wear out of them  .

Most of the girls in my class did something similar or else spent the afternoon at the Zoo. There were no bouncy castles, marquees, professional caterers, expensive restaurants, champagne, kids entertainers etc. And our mothers didn't spend the week beforehand getting fake tanned, highlighted and manicured.


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## S.L.F (9 May 2009)

Pique318 said:


> Nah, yer sisters, do ya not remember ? You were the one puking up WKD just off camera


 
Typical Pique you have managed to lower the tone yet again.

It was a great day though wasn't it just sorry you had to leave early because your shorts and waist-coat clashed with the brides outfit.


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## Bubbly Scot (9 May 2009)

A friend told me about a communion she went to where one little girl had the hummer, the big, BIG dress and when the bread was popped into her mouth her headress lit up in lights "I have recieved".

A couple of years ago our parish priest toyed with the idea of introducing smocks for communion as he felt the expense was getting out of hand. A questionaire was sent out to the parents of the schools concerned and some of the replies we got back were shocking. Comments ranged from "I chose this school for my child so we could have this special day" to "I will remove my children from the school and the parish and put them somewhere that they can have a proper communion"

Needless to say, the smock idea was abandoned.


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## sam h (9 May 2009)

It's generally those who don't have the money go to the most expense (same as x-mas).  

We would have been reasonably comfortable, but I had the same dress as my sisters, black shoes ("more practical than white ones") and a trip out for sausages & chips (and proceeded to get ketchup on the dress....lucky I was the last girl).  The grand sum of £14 was given by my generous relatives.


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## Smashbox (9 May 2009)

My mam's aunt from England paid for my dress to be made, she insisted. A neighbour was a seamstress and she made it for me.

Afterwards, we all went back to the school, for tea and sandwiches.

Shannon, 1989!


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## baldyman27 (9 May 2009)

I can't remember my communion. Someone must have spiked my cherry cola.


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## Smashbox (9 May 2009)

Oh weren't you posh, cherry cola eh


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## RMCF (10 May 2009)

Getting back to the spending, it appears now that it would cost up to €500+ to get a child through their First Communion.

I know a few people who have children receiving it, and their dresses were €250 each. Add to this the 3 or 4 trials at the hairdressers, then the hairdressers on the day, the obligatory party afterwards, the handbag, the shoes, the limo's etc (and thats not even counting the money Mum and Dad will spend on themselves).

I think it just goes to show that the sacrament is way down the list of importance now. Its more a day out to compete with the neighbours, and yet everyone you hear says that they are fed up with it costing so much and want to get back to the spiritual side of it.

They could of course make a stand and buy a very cheap dress and forget about the party (I don't remember a party at mine!!) or of course the Catholic Church could do everyone a favour and make it compulsory that the children receive the sacrament in their school uniforms. That would sort out all the silly foolishness.


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## baldyman27 (10 May 2009)

RMCF said:


> the Catholic Church could do everyone a favour and make it compulsory that the children receive the sacrament in their school uniforms. That would sort out all the silly foolishness.


 
This is the most sensible option. AFAIR, it was obligatory that I wore my school uniform at my First Communion in '87, the girls did have the dress though. For Confirmation the glad rags were out alright.


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## Complainer (11 May 2009)

Bubbly Scot said:


> A friend told me about a communion she went to where one little girl had the hummer, the big, BIG dress and when the bread was popped into her mouth her headress lit up in lights "I have recieved".


Sounds like one of those urban myths. How could you fit 'I have recieved' in lights on the head of a 7-year-old?

But anyway, it is any more or less bizarre than telling 7-year-olds to eat a magic piece of the body of a man who died 2000 years ago?


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## Bubbly Scot (11 May 2009)

Complainer said:


> Sounds like one of those urban myths. How could you fit 'I have recieved' in lights on the head of a 7-year-old?
> 
> But anyway, it is any more or less bizarre than telling 7-year-olds to eat a magic piece of the body of a man who died 2000 years ago?



I wondered myself but then the lady who told me was apparently there. Either way, it's madness, I had to do crowd control at a communion one year and never...EVER again! Grannies were the worst!


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## Caveat (11 May 2009)

Complainer said:


> But anyway, it is any more or less bizarre than telling 7-year-olds to eat a magic piece of the body of a man who died 2000 years ago?


 
Not really IMO. 

BTW, part of the problem with communions/money is the language and turn of phrase associated with it:

I "made" €500 or so and so "made" €1000 - it just sounds really vulgar to me.  I'm not having a go at the catholic church as such but I  wasn't brought up RC and I "made" *nothing *at my communion. Zero pence. I didn't really expect anything either.  I wore my school uniform by the way as did all my contemporaries.


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## Graham_07 (11 May 2009)

Caveat said:


> brought up RC and I "made" *nothing *at my communion. Zero pence. I didn't really expect anything either.


 
Blessed are those who ask for no reward for they shall not be disappointed. 



Smashbox said:


> Oh weren't you posh, cherry cola eh


 
I seem to remember having  Taylor Keith Raspberry, made your tongue go all red


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## becky (11 May 2009)

Bubbly Scot said:


> I wondered myself but then the lady who told me was apparently there. Either way, it's madness, I had to do crowd control at a communion one year and never...EVER again! Grannies were the worst!


 
Was in in patrickswell Limerick?  That's where I heard it happened.


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## liaconn (11 May 2009)

Caveat said:


> Not really IMO.
> 
> I'm not having a go at the catholic church as such but I wasn't brought up RC and I "made" *nothing *at my communion. Zero pence. I didn't really expect anything either. I wore my school uniform by the way as did all my contemporaries.


 
If you weren't brought up as a Catholic, how could you have made your first Holy Communion?


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## Caveat (11 May 2009)

liaconn said:


> If you weren't brought up as a Catholic, how could you have made your first Holy Communion?


 
Confirmation + communion: happens at the same time for COI.


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## liaconn (11 May 2009)

Caveat said:


> Confirmation + communion: happens at the same time for COI.


 
I never knew that. I assumed you meant you'd made your Communion in a Catholic church and was surprised at that.


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## Caveat (11 May 2009)

What are you surprised at - that the concept of communion exists outside of the catholic church or that it is combined with confirmation in the COI, or both, or something else maybe?


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## liaconn (11 May 2009)

Caveat said:


> What are you surprised at - that the concept of communion exists outside of the catholic church or that it is combined with confirmation in the COI, or both, or something else maybe?


 
I was surprised when you said you had made your Communion, as I hadn't realised that the Church of Ireland also held this ceremony. Therefore I was confused by your original post and sought clarification.


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## Teatime (11 May 2009)

S.L.F said:


> Every religion in the world does this.


 
Maybe so but it doesn't make it right. In terms of the 1st sacrament, baptism, the Roman Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox churches all agree that babies can be baptised but the Baptist, Pentecostal and some Methodist churches argue that only adults should be baptised as you need to take a personal pledge of commitment at your baptism and this is only possible for an adult.


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## Caveat (11 May 2009)

Fair enough _Liaconn_. 

BTW, to be accurate, it's not a ceremony as such in the COI - the ceremony is the confirmation but it is very closely linked with communion as it is only after you have been confirmed that you may receive communion. The first of which you receive during the confirmation ceremony. So for comparison's sake the whole thing is probably the equivalent of 1st holy communion in the RC church.

Either way - got nathin' money wise at mine


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## Mpsox (11 May 2009)

Judge down where I lived refused to grant a local hotel a bar extension for the weekend of the first communion in the town, he couldn't understand why people would be drinking so much. Perhaps he was being naive but full marks to him


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## Complainer (11 May 2009)

Mpsox said:


> Judge down where I lived refused to grant a local hotel a bar extension for the weekend of the first communion in the town, he couldn't understand why people would be drinking so much. Perhaps he was being naive but full marks to him


Fully agree.


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## casiopea (11 May 2009)

Graham_07 said:


> Were they as excited about the purpose of the day or just the dress ? It is an important day and I would agree that little girls are probably more excited than boys, but it's a pity that the meaning is so much lost in the surrounding noise & spend.
> 
> Incidentally my wife's wedding dress has had 4 airings.
> - Wedding dress on the day
> ...



Hi Graham_07,
(going slightly Off Topic)
I looked into converting my wedding dress into a christening robe for my daughter but it was ridiculously expensive - were you able to get this reasonably done?  In the end she wore a white dress from H&M (that cost around 10 euro) and looked exquisite.  If I could get it reasonably done I would convert it to a holy communion dress (the wedding dress not the H&M dress) but I dont think Ill get a reasonable quote.
cas


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## Bronte (12 May 2009)

Teatime said:


> Maybe so but it doesn't make it right. In terms of the 1st sacrament, baptism, the Roman Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox churches all agree that babies can be baptised but the Baptist, Pentecostal and some Methodist churches argue that only adults should be baptised as you need to take a personal pledge of commitment at your baptism and this is only possible for an adult.


 
My mother is not very organised and I can remember my next 3 siblings baptism even though we are close in age as it wasn't until one of them was due for communion that the school realised they had never been baptised.   On my confirmation day, I was dropped off to the church half way though the ceremony and I spent the day with my siblings outside a pub in a car.  I do remember getting a club orange and packet of tayto though.

I think the little girl with the hairband that lights up is the funniest thing ever, but as her family makes the effort every week to be part of the Church I see nothing wrong with their way of celebrating what for them is a very 'special' day.


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## Graham_07 (12 May 2009)

casiopea said:


> Hi Graham_07,
> (going slightly Off Topic)
> I looked into converting my wedding dress into a christening robe for my daughter but it was ridiculously expensive - were you able to get this reasonably done? In the end she wore a white dress from H&M (that cost around 10 euro) and looked exquisite. If I could get it reasonably done I would convert it to a holy communion dress (the wedding dress not the H&M dress) but I dont think Ill get a reasonable quote.
> cas


 
It was almost 23 years ago and was done by an old lady we knew, she also remade it back up again years later  in to communion dress. I've no idea what anyone would charge now but we thought it was a nice way to use the dress. The important thing was the robe was left quite long so that facilitated being remade up again for communion.


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## Latrade (12 May 2009)

My only comment is I'm thankful that tat like Jordan and her ilk are not Catholic. Given how the gaudy nature of their weddings has meant that looking like a prostitue on a court date is now accepted practice, can you image the influence and precedent set if they also had to go through HCs?


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## Bubbly Scot (12 May 2009)

Latrade said:


> My only comment is I'm thankful that tat like Jordan and her ilk are not Catholic. Given how the gaudy nature of their weddings has meant that looking like a prostitue on a court date is now accepted practice, can you image the influence and precedent set if they also had to go through HCs?




Hush now! you don't know who might be reading this and thinking "publicity stunt"

Oh shoot! they have one going on at the moment, don't they?


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## Latrade (12 May 2009)

Bubbly Scot said:


> Hush now! you don't know who might be reading this and thinking "publicity stunt"
> 
> Oh shoot! they have one going on at the moment, don't they?


 
Oops. In a sweeping (and possibly libellous) generalisation, I'm sure there'll be a rebound session in a night club with a premiership footballer and we'll be seeing another WKD Blue sprog. 

Plenty of time to strike up the Hello/OK deal for the HC then.


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