# Money lent but not being repaid



## samfarrell (25 Jan 2014)

About six months ago I lent a relative of mine €3000 as they were in some financial trouble and I thought I would help them out. At the time he told me he would pay me back the full amount in a couple of months when he got back on his feet. I did not charge any interest. The only record of the transaction is the electronic transfer between two bank accounts. I reminded him again about it after three months, and he said he would pay it back at the end of that month. 
Since then I have received nothing and he is avoiding my calls and texts, I even suggested that he could pay it off in smaller amounts but he is not engaging. 
A friend of mine suggested that I get my solicitor to write a demand letter 
Just wondering if people have had any experience with such problems and what course of action can I pursue to recover the money ?


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## Family Guy (26 Jan 2014)

It sounds like your relative is unwilling to pay the money back at this stage. Surely they could come to some arrangement to pay off in small amounts if they had any real intention to repay you. 
Three grand is a lot of money to be written off. I would send a solicitors letter. At least it will carry some weight and may spur him into coming to some agreement. As regards cost of pursuing it to court, I have no idea


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## Time (26 Jan 2014)

Without a written agreement the other guy will simply claim it was a gift. You have nothing in writing to show it was a loan. Solicitors letters and court will be a waste of time and more money.

It may be better to simple write it off.


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## Family Guy (26 Jan 2014)

Time said:


> Without a written agreement the other guy will simply claim it was a gift. You have nothing in writing to show it was a loan. Solicitors letters and court will be a waste of time and more money.
> 
> It may be better to simple write it off.



Yes without anything in writing its not going to stand up in court. A solictors letter might be worth a try, should not cost more than €50 and it can put the frighteners up some people who might decide to engage if they see you are serious about the matter, however unlikely. Totally up to the OP 
€3k is a lot to let go


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## landlord (26 Jan 2014)

Before you even think of going to a solicitor, play the "emotional card"
Say to him.....you have discussed it with all of yours/his family members and you have been advised by them even though you need this money, to just write it off.
If he has any conscience as a human being and knowing the whole family are now involved, he should at least engage.


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## Setanta12 (27 Jan 2014)

landlord said:


> Before you even think of going to a solicitor, play the "emotional card"
> Say to him.....you have discussed it with all of yours/his family members and you have been advised by them even though you need this money, to just write it off.
> If he has any conscience as a human being and knowing the whole family are now involved, he should at least engage.



+1 (except for the part about writing it off - he needs to feel shame about meeting these people to spur him into some form of action - and yes, you may need to actually discuss it with some relatives)


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## Deas (27 Jan 2014)

He's avioding your calls and texts - why not try landing on his doorstep?  Face to face may get you results and you will be harder to ignore.  At a minimum you will get confirmation of whether there is any chance of recovery.


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## PaddyBloggit (27 Jan 2014)

or get something off him that you can sell ... his car etc.


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## Gerry Canning (27 Jan 2014)

Sam Farrell; 

If he ain,t talking and you feel he can afford to pay you, go to your solicitor and see what it costs to pursue/judgement on him.


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## BudgetBrenda (27 Jan 2014)

Would he really claim it was a gift? You dont mention how close a relative he is. I have lots of relatives but I would only gift money to my children or parents and then only if they really needed it and probably could never pay it back. You were too trusting and should have put something on paper just to acknowledge it was a loan that would be repaid as soon as practical.

I think it makes sense to engage the wider family as others have suggested. Is this person working - you could suggest contacting his employer to have it stopped out of his pay. Now an employer could not do that without his permission but the possibility that you would approach his employer should really worry him. 

3k is too much to write off without a fight and this man has abused your kindness.

Good luck.


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## Time (27 Jan 2014)

I don't believe a solicitor could even demand payment as the claimant has no valid course of action. 
Therefore judgement will not be granted. 

Other suggestions like going round and shouting the odds will probably leave the OP with a criminal record for harassment under the NFOAP Act 1997. As for contacting employers, really is this still the 1950's? Why not have it read out at mass on a Sunday? I hope you have deep pockets to pay the defamation damages.

Either do things within the law or don't bother. I have had to write off far more in similar circumstances.


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## samfarrell (27 Jan 2014)

I have actually searched my emails and discovered a email from him requesting the amount and providing me with his bank details for the transfer of funds. I have no idea if emails are even sufficient evidence but its something.


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## Time (28 Jan 2014)

Does the email say what the purpose is at all?


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## Deiseblue (28 Jan 2014)

samfarrell said:


> I have actually searched my emails and discovered a email from him requesting the amount and providing me with his bank details for the transfer of funds. I have no idea if emails are even sufficient evidence but its something.



Perhaps it might be an idea to reply to this email along the lines of - As I have failed to contact you by phone and text I refer to your email of the dd mm yr attached requesting the loan of €3,000 , as a reasonable time has elapsed I should be grateful if you would now arrange to repay same.

Perhaps you might wish to more forceful ?


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## Bronte (28 Jan 2014)

I don't think you'll have any problem proving it's a loan.  But you can forget about going to law on getting this back.  Too costly and maybe he has nothing.  

Is your relative in financial trouble, why did he need the money.  Your best bet is the embarrasment tactic  Does he have an income, a job etc?  A threat of showing up at his workplace, at his parents etc might well do the trick.  

You are being very reasonable and you've agreed to low repayments.  What exactly was his reponse to this option?


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## samfarrell (28 Jan 2014)

The email just has the amount he wanted and his bank account details. There is no mention of purpose or nature of it. That was all verbal. His business is struggling so I am thinking he has very little cash at all. His wife has a good job though so they are not destitute

I think I will try and reply to the email as suggested. I might even get him to admit that it at least was a loan if he engages at all


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## fraggle (28 Jan 2014)

It is possible the this persons wife does not know about this.

We don't know the full details, but perhaps this person is under severe presure (financially and mentally as a result.) They might even have had good intentions of paying it back but are now in more trouble.

I would suggest confronting them in some way and letting them know that you would accept some kind of repayment plan, and by doing that you are getting something in writing that supports the fact it is a loan, should you need it down the road (which is likely).

I just think if you go in all guns blazing you will get nothing, but you might need to cut them some slack for a while if you want to see anything. That might be the reality of the situation.


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## elcato (28 Jan 2014)

Send a letter  delivered by hand marked 'Private and Confidential' with his name on it to his front door. Make sure his wife is in and he's out. You will be paid very quickly.


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## Time (28 Jan 2014)

Really? 

This is not the 70's where people were actually afraid of such letters or solicitors or priests.

I knows of one fellow that lights the fire with such letters.


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## Family Guy (28 Jan 2014)

fraggle said:


> It is possible the this persons wife does not know about this.
> 
> We don't know the full details, but perhaps this person is under severe presure (financially and mentally as a result.) They might even have had good intentions of paying it back but are now in more trouble.
> 
> ...



Its not really OP's concern whether yer man has told his wife about the loan or not. But yes you are right the guy might simply not have the money and is perhaps even too ashamed at the situation. I know people who are or have been in financial woes and it can really affect them. But the fact is the money was borrowed and should be repaid, he has to know that


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## Time (28 Jan 2014)

You can't get blood from a stone. The courts have even recognised this fact.

If he has no means to pay, you will achieve nothing with harassing him at home or his place of employment in fact it may backfire and get the OP in trouble with the law.

Morals and the law are strange bedfellows at the best of times. Just because you many be morally right, the legal system will say otherwise to your peril.


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