# Struggling - any different ideas



## cazmayo (10 Nov 2009)

Hi, my hubbie just walks out of the room when I mention money, and so I have struggled on my own, trying to sort out debt from his failed business.

Income
Him (650 weekly) 2600
Me (at home, 3 children under 5)
childrens allow 535

Outgoings
Mortgage 240,000 450 Interest Only (until Dec)
Business Loan 63,500 635 quarterly Interest Only
Credit Union 15300 loan savings 4500 payments 371 per month
Car Loan 12,400 324 per month
mortgage insurance 103 per month
Car ins 36 per month
car tax 25 per month

Looking at selling the car, hoping to get whats owed on it to clear that debt. Then ask the credit union for a loan for 4000 to buy a run around. If they add that to our existing loan, the repayment would stay at 371, so we would make a cashflow saving of 324 and reduce our debt by 8000.

How does this sound?
Its a real struggle as things stand and Im on my own sorting this out, as my husbands way of dealing with it is to put head in sand.

I have our personal bills and debt paid somehow. I forced him to the accountant who said things werent as bad as what he thought, and offered to act as a intermediary and bring things up to date.

I have control of cheque book and credit card, as he wrote cheques when I told him not to, he used credit card when I told him not to. So I have taken full control. He seems just happy to get a few quid in his pocket per week for fags.

Its just I am worrying and trying to come up with a solution on my own.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Caz


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## DrMoriarty (10 Nov 2009)

Caz, I have edited your post to remove a couple of lines which breached the posting guidelines and were unnecessary to your query. Please be aware that it is not too difficult for you to be identified by your previous posts and be careful what personal information you venture on a public internet forum.


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## spursman (11 Nov 2009)

you need to get your husband on board. it wont work otherwise. tell him to face the money problems or get out


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## Colndas (11 Nov 2009)

It would appear that you are effectively managing the situation without assistance from your partner and that the issue is one of support. 

You should be commended for keeping it together and while I dont know your partner and couldn't comment on what he feels personally I can say that I have met people in a similar position who have found it difficult to gee themselves up once a company that they have invested a lot of themselves in fails.

For those people the solution was usually finding somebody who was in a similar situation, unfortunately there is no shortage about these days, and using them to help get themselves out of the fug that they are in. 

It is possible that it is a question of confidence and pride and getting support to raise the feeling of self worth up may help. Though that should have a limit too.


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## zztop (12 Nov 2009)

Caz,ever think about minding a child in your own home.Have you a friend
who is going to work who would be happy for you to do it.3/4 kids not a lot
of difference.


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## Bronte (12 Nov 2009)

Can you clarify the business loan please.  Are you making 4 annual payments of interest only of 635?  How long and for what reason is it interest only?

Is your husband's income his profit from the business?

What will your mortgage repayment change to in December?

I doubt selling the car will free up any money, have you priced it?


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## cazmayo (12 Nov 2009)

Hi everyone,

thank you for your posts.



> Can you clarify the business loan please. Are you making 4 annual payments of interest only of 635? How long and for what reason is it interest only?


  The business loan is from his failed business which we had a personal gaurantee on, we are unable to pay anymore than interest only and yes they charge the interest quarterly.



> Is your husband's income his profit from the business?


  No, he took a job as he ran out of work, business just left up in the air, though accountant is finely dealing with it now.  Husband just put head in sand, no matter how much I pushed him to sort things.  Offering to help, listing out what needed to be done. No response, just in denial.

Regarding the car, if I could sell it for whats owed or near enough,  I would let it go.  That would be that loan cleared, and then top up our credit union loan by 4000 to buy a run around.  My credit union loan repayment would stay the same, as they do a new loan and I have that much paid off since the loan start, so cashflow saving of 324 per month.

Mortgage repayments normally would be about 900, though am asking to stay interest only for another 6 months and submit an income and expenditure account.  It is evident we cant afford to go back to capital repayments at the moment.

zztop - I have considered looking after another child, and have asked hubbie to fence in the back garden for safety - to no avail.  Have asked my dad to come and help me out and put some kind of fencing up, so will keep an eye out.  As you say, if Im going to be housebound, another child wont make much difference.  If I went back out to work, it would cost more in childcare than I would get in wages!!

I just feel Im swimming up stream, when Im living on a budget and shopping around saving 20 euros here and 30 there, and he is running up costs in fines (company reg office).  Wont empty his workshop and return keys when he not even using it, running up rent we dont have.  He keeps saying Im sorting it, and then does nothing.

I know when a person is totally stressed, they sometimes cant function right, but this is dragging on.  Loads of people are in debt because of this recession, but by ignoring things, he has added to that debt.

I think I will advertise him around the local noticeboards.

He is is this mess, as a few customers didnt pay him!!!  also one bounced a very big cheque, someone he trusted.  He's lost all interest it seems.
People are great at ordering the most expensive, yet when it comes to paying its a different story.  Makes my blood boil.  I tell him, to suss people out and if you think you are not going to get paid, DONT DO THE JOB, otherwise register as a charity!!  Enough said.

regards caz


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## iceman28o1 (12 Nov 2009)

I would definitly sell the car if you could get pay off for it, and buy a cheaper car. I would work on consolidating my bills to one that has a lesser interest rate and pay off the ones with a higher rate first. Im not a professional, but this make sense. I would also get rid of my credit cards, because most people buy stuff that they cannot afford on plastic. Start by cutting back on his needs (financially) and he should get with the program, when he realizes that you have to cut back on things to get by and its affecting him. Hope this makes sense.


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## chlipps (12 Nov 2009)

Sorry to hear about your dilemma but you need to get him on board...Can your husband get any money from the person he trusted... even on a monthly basis of even 100 per month?

Car values have dropped off dramatically so I think chance of selling car at high price will be impossible

Best of luck


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## michaelm (16 Nov 2009)

cazmayo said:


> Him (650 weekly) 2600
> Me (at home, 3 children under 5)


Apply for Family Income Supplement . . with 3 children the income limit is €685 per week.  You'll only get €20 per week (guaranteed for a year) but it's better than nothing and there's a possibility the FIS recipients may avoid the worst of the looming Child Benefit cuts.


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## SarahMc (18 Nov 2009)

Apply for medical card also if you do not already have one, this will exempt your husband from the income levy, and will probably protect you from child benefit cuts.


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## cazmayo (23 Nov 2009)

Hi guys,

Re: medical card - I dont have one, but have just got the form and will apply - so thankyou.

Also FIS, will just qualify now with the 3rd child so will also apply. - thank you.

Once I have the medical card, I understand I need to inform hubbies employer to exempt him from the levy.  I hope he passes it on!

Cheers caz


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## Bronte (24 Nov 2009)

cazmayo said:


> He is is this mess, as a few customers didnt pay him!!! also one bounced a very big cheque, someone he trusted. He's lost all interest it seems.


 
If you husband won't deal with this how about you putting a plan in place to go after this money?

You've mentioned your husband a few times. Be careful he is not suffering from depression or is sick with worry, you need to support him if this is the case. Men are terrible at discussing emotions and tend to keep things bottled up which is not a good thing.


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## cazmayo (25 Nov 2009)

Hi Bronte,

He is depressed, I managed to get him to the dr (reactive depression) went to a counsellor for one session and refused to continue.

I have supported him, when he didnt answer the bank managers phone calls, I went in and renegotiated the business loan.  I also went to his accountant for him, told to get his paperwork in, when I asked him for paperwork, he would say I get it for ya, and not.  When I arrange a day and time to sort out his paperwork and ask him to be home and mind the kids while I go through everything for him, he doesnt turn up.  I am the one facing creditors!! not so nice (especially when its not my doing).

I go from being sooo frustrated with him and thinking he is so irresponsible to worrying he'll do something stupid.  I tell him, your business doesnt owe massive money in the grand scheme of things, and it can be sorted.

The solution to worry is ACTION.

Will have to stop struggling on my own, and get help to sort this out.
Thanks for your advice.
cheers


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## paddy26 (27 Nov 2009)

Try and re-quote for some of your insurance. I recently got a good deal on car insurance at aaireland.ie and saved approx 20%.  You could also look at your mortgage protection and house insurance.

The small things such as changing to Airtricity for your electricity (quick turnaround) and Flogas (for your gas) can make small but important monthly savings.


Paddy
www.SmartQuotes.ie
Discount Financial Services and Insurance


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