# Mat Leave finished, hate job, want to go back to college



## stayathome (26 Aug 2013)

A long time lurker but first time poster. I've read through posts in this section but they don't touch on my specific issue so I would appreciate help with this if anyone can help. I would also like you all to know I am not a waster, I've worked since the age of 14,& I want to work - but in a job I somewhat enjoy & is worth my while. I have seen many posts from people who don't want to work, I am not one of them. Here is my situation.

I am married, 1 young child. About to finish my maternity leave. Previously worked 40hrs a week but going back on 30hrs. My hourly wage is 11.45 an hour. My husband works full time and has a salary of 26,400 per year Gross (take home pay is roughly 1800 per month depending on length of month).

Being away from my job has made me realise that I hate it and I'm dreading going back - its a call centre, with little interaction with the people I work with & is very depressing (the nature of the job can be very negative). Before I had my baby I didn't care; it paid the bills. Now that I have a child, once I factor in Childcare costs & petrol expenses (a good distance from home) whats left at the end of the week from my wage will be about 130/140 euros. It is shift work, which makes the childcare horribly awkward

My first question is this: I've been told by friends that I would be better off on social welfare. I'm not sure if this is true as I am married & my husband works full time. If someone could clarify this for me I would be grateful. I know I would be exempt for some time as I would be quitting the job (about 9 weeks I believe).

The next issue I have is selfish - I want more for myself than just a call centre. I worked so hard to gain experience - I had a good administration job 3 years ago, I was happy and valued in it, but the company closed. I panicked & took the first job I was offered in the call centre & I am there since. My own self-worth is very low in this job, and I haven't been able to find a better job given the climate and that I have no third level qualification. Being miserable about the job I'm going back to has made it obvious to me and my husband that I want to go back to college & up-skill, gain a good qualification, but the costs are too high to afford and childcare costs for a full time course would cripple us. Which leads to Question 2:

If I am entitled to something from social welfare, and I am still unemployed after some time, Can I go back to college & get assistance with fees, childcare, or anything at all? how long would I have to wait before I can go back?

I am trying to find answers to make the best longterm decision. I feel stuck in a rut of a crappy job with no progression, I am miserable in the job and in myself when in the job, and then to have such a low wage to take home... If I had a better qualification at least I could earn more & take pride in my job and myself again. We could survive on my husbands wage, but only just. once all our outgoings are added up - if we had a surprise bill we would be up the creek as they say.

Could I ask for peoples advice for my situation please. I understand it sounds awful to be wanting to be on Social Welfare. It is not where I want to be AT ALL and is embarrassing, but at this point I am desperate for a better change & this could be my chance to go back to college. Thanks.


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## stayathome (28 Aug 2013)

Anyone??


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## peteb (28 Aug 2013)

I think that is why you arent getting any replies, because you are looking to use the system to your own advantage and give up a job that many people would jump at.  

I can't see how you would be better off unemployed.  9 weeks waiting because you gave up a valid job.  You aren't actively looking for work, you intend to stay home with the baby.  So you arent available for work.  So technically you shouldnt even qualify for Job Seekers Benefit. 

If you fraudulently convinced them otherwise, this only last for 9 months.  Can't see you being eligible for Job Seekers Allowance as your husband would probably earn enough in a means test to disqualify you.  

On a personal note, a lot of us are unhappy in our job and would love to move on. And have somone else pay for our qualification.  But such is life, the student days are gone.  If you can't support yourself, why should you expect the rest of us to?


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## niceoneted (28 Aug 2013)

What about going back to work and seeing how you get on. Your attitude might be different when you look forward to getting home to see your little one. 
You could always go back to work and try to do a distance learning course to upskill or do a night course. I met lots of mums doing the same when I did my part time courses. 
Have you tried looking for a job now and checking out what is available.


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## Cantalia (28 Aug 2013)

To be fair to the girl if she up skills and gets a better job she'll be paying more tax and probably working longer hours. If you read her post you can she's a worker not a sponger. She and her husband have spend years paying their social insurance, I have no problem with people using the social welfare system for a short period to improve their lot. And let me also tell you, being a stay a home mum can be miserable and lonely too, so be careful what you wish for. I wonder if you made it know to the HR person at the call centre that you wanted to get on, get a promotion, get into management?? Good luck. I know nothing about the SW system I'm afraid. But I have three children and the first few weeks back are very upsetting and emotional after that it all settles down. Be very careful about throwing away a job. What's available on SW this year may not be there next year etc so don't be left high and dry. I think it would be wise to go back first. Even if you managed to work out redundancy it would be better.


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## Cantalia (28 Aug 2013)

By the way stayathome I know solicitors and accountants with small children earning the same and less per hour, so don't do anything stupid at this very emotional time. I will also tell you that by the time you have three kids you will be skipping back to work at the first opportunity....the first baby though is a little bit different.... I'm a little older and wiser than you so take the good advice of go back to work, give it 12 months and then see. Nothing is forever, something always comes along...


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## peteb (28 Aug 2013)

Cantalia said:


> To be fair to the girl if she up skills and gets a better job she'll be paying more tax and probably working longer hours. If you read her post you can she's a worker not a sponger. She and her husband have spend years paying their social insurance, I have no problem with people using the social welfare system for a short period to improve their lot


 
And then again maybe she won't.  She is a sponger in that she wants to use some one elses money to get a foot up.  You want to quit your job to mind your kids that's fine, but make sure you've saved up the funds to get you by!

And just in case people think I'm being hard, I've a wife at home with a 6 month baby who would love to work, but yes childcare costs will eat anything she may possible earn up.  C'est la vie.  People know what they are getting to having children.


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## Black Sheep (28 Aug 2013)

Would you consider being a stay at home mum and doing a bit of childminding to boost the income.  Is there a VEC or college nearby where you could take a part-time/night course at the same time.

You could then be upskilled and ready to hit the job market again by the time your child is ready for school or pre-school


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## AgathaC (29 Aug 2013)

First of all, congrats on your new baby!
Sorry to hear you are dreading going back to work. Could you have a chat with your employer to see if there is anything they can do, maybe a change of team or a different role would help? Some good suggestions upthread also. 
One other factor to consider, if your employer paid you during maternity leave, would this be repayable if you did give up your job? I don't know if this is the case, but may be worth checking out.
If you promise yourself you will give it your best shot 'til Christmas, for example,  and that you will look into all options to upskill / move on from there that might help too.
Best of luck.


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## partnership (29 Aug 2013)

To clarify your question - if you give up your job you will be barred from social welfare for 9 weeks.  After that you would have to be actively seeking employment in order to get the jobseekers benefit provided you have enough stamps.  You would have to show you are applying for jobs etc.  My understanding is that in order to qualify for an allowance to go back to college you have to be long term unemployed so you may not meet this criteria as jobseekers benefit only lasts 9 months and then you would be means tested.  If your husbands means are too high you would get nothing and would not be entitled to any schemes or anything else.  You need to look on the social welfare website and the qualifying conditions for the information.

If you are not happy with your job perhaps you could look at studying by night to get a qualification.  I did a degree by night when my son was only a year old as a way of progressing.  Yes it is costly and yes it is hard but it is worthwhile and I can say I paid for it myself.


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## Cantalia (31 Aug 2013)

Remember folks that when you pay your social insurance every week or every month, that is your money, that girl and her husband have paid in their money, it is theirs. We do not pay our "stamps" for the upkeep of the poor, it is our insurance, our rainy day money. On a moral level I have no problem with people taking out as they have paid in. It is an entirely different situation to a long term social housing social welfare recipient.


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## SarahMc (31 Aug 2013)

Its really not Cantalia, it is doubtful OP has paid enough in PRSI for 9 months jobseekers and 4 years BTEA, free fees, possibly FIS, child benefit etc.


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## stephnyc (2 Sep 2013)

Cantalia said:


> Remember folks that when you pay your social insurance every week or every month, that is your money


 
Is this how people really view it? I never see it as 'my money'. It's the price we pay for having the 'most vulnerable' looked after by the state (and other amenities that we all benefit from). 

I have worked for 20 years & in that time I am lucky that I have not had to claim jobseekers. However, I have had illness benefit & maternity benefit.

I applaud the OP for trying to improve her situation & agree that when she returns to work, she might view the job differently. Hopefully, she can find a way to get the training & career that she so obviously wants without having to resort to 'working the system'


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## wbbs (2 Sep 2013)

I have mixed feelings on this topic.  I never gave it a thought while working over the years, paid taxes etc, never begrudged it really.  However then was out of work, got my year of prsi payments and that's your lot then unless you qualify for means tested payments which I don't (yet!) as I had got a redundancy payment.  Someone in my position can continue to sign for credits to maintain pension entitlements but it entitles you to practically nothing else, very limited courses etc and as you have no payments you would have to fund yourself getting to and from any course and any additional costs etc.

As I have been unable to find paid work I do quite a bit of voluntary work and it has opened my eyes!  There are a lot of people doing quite nicely out of the social welfare system, many of whom have contributed practically nothing and in some cases definitely nothing to the system, yes some are the 'most vulnerable' but not all!  

I often wonder why I try and eke out my savings to last as long as possible when I would have a greater weekly disposable income and a medical card if I blew the lot in Vegas, yes yes I know that Social Welfare would consider that deliberately getting rid of it and would probably disqualify me from getting anything but do you see my point?

I did not work the system properly, I know that now, I have learned that from my voluntary work, not how to do anything wrong but simply to use to one's advantage.

I certainly would not begrudge the OP her 9 months of prsi and any education she can get out of it, there are many far worse abuses of the system out there.


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## stayathome (3 Sep 2013)

Thank you to everyone who replied, it is appreciated. 

Although yes, I hate my job, I am back to work already. Working is not the issue; I want to work & I have available childcare. I think my username is confusing some - it was selected at the time of posting as I was a stay at home mom on my maternity leave. While I love my child, staying at home with baby is not the sensible option. They will be in school in a matter of years (which will fly by!) and suddenly I would be lost again. In a dream world if we had money to burn I would give my child all of me, but then there will be no change in our circumstance. I am looking for Change. I know you have to work hard to have a good quality of life.

While I was away, a lot has changed at work. A worryingly large number of my colleagues have left and have not been replaced, and a good percentage of our work has been outsourced. This leads me to believe all might not be secure here. I am certainly making the right decision to jump ship, but even if not I'm beginning to feel redundancies may not be too far away. 

My main plan right now is to keep applying for positions in the hopes something comes up for me. 

Up-skilling is the aim but with my baby its a tough decision. Childcare costs would cripple us & we would have to borrow to get through any decent degree. At this point, I think I need to wait and see what happens and just grin and bear it in the meantime. As I have not been to college yet, I might look into grants if I were to apply, and maybe that might help.

Thanks again to you all for your comments.


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## Steven Barrett (12 Sep 2013)

Stayathome

Life is for living, there is no point in spending most of the week dreading going into a job that you hate. 

The area of grants and social welfare is a very complicated area. Your best bet is to ring the citizens advice bureau or the social welfare and see what you are entitled to. From your posts, you seem to want to work and not sit at home claiming benefits, so if you can get a grant, go for it. Afterall, that's why they have them there in the first place. 

Best of luck with it. 


Steven
steven@bluewaterfp.ie


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## jodi (13 Sep 2013)

Do you have a specific course or field of study in mind if you return to college? There are lots of free online modules or courses available, which while they may not provide you with a formal qualification, will give you the opportunity to try an area of study and decide whether it appeals to you or not, before committing to a fee paying course.
These may also help as a refresher of some of your existing skills for interviews.
http://www.alison.com
https://www.coursera.org/

There are many others too - these are just ones I have used.
I am in no way associated with either of theses sites, just an occasional user.
Best of luck


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## Janet (13 Sep 2013)

stayathome said:


> This leads me to believe all might not be secure here. I am certainly making the right decision to jump ship, but even if not I'm beginning to feel redundancies may not be too far away.
> 
> My main plan right now is to keep applying for positions in the hopes something comes up for me.



In the meantime, it might not be a bad idea to try just living on your husband's salary (except for childcare and your transport to work). That could serve the dual purpose of letting you know exactly how difficult (or not) it might be to live just on his salary as well as allowing you to build up some savings, which is never really a bad thing.

And use the opportunity to see if there's anywhere else in the company that you could move to internally. You have the excuse of being worried about potential redundancies and don't need to mention you're thinking of leaving so use it.


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