# never ending story



## car (28 Aug 2003)

Okay, here are the rules for the game.  

1. You can post as many times as you want, but must wait until at least 3 other people have posted before you post again. 
2. You continue with the sentence fragment from the prior post, followed by up to 2 complete sentences, and finish with your own sentence fragment.


I suggest that you do not quote the prior story post. Also turn your signature off for posts in this topic to make the story easier to read. Simply pick up where the prior poster left it and go from there. That's it! You're free to take the story in any direction, add characters, change the environment, twist the plot... the entire purpose of the game is to see where things
end up.  

Without further ado... the story begins. 

I had arranged to meet her in a bar off grafton street at about 8pm.  She still hadnt arrived by half past and the strange looking guy at the end of the bar with the briefcase was showing more then a passing interest, I asked him what was he looking at.  He replied....


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## non fiction (28 Aug 2003)

*ending story*

....and he replied ' Not fu-k--ng much'

end of 'never ending story !!!!


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## ClubMan (29 Aug 2003)

*Re: ending story*

*and the strange looking guy at the end of the bar with the briefcase was showing more then a passing interest, I asked him what was he looking at. He replied....*

_"Of all the bars in all the towns you had to walk into this one. The name's McDowell - Michael McDowell - and you're under arrest for suspicion of having too much drink taken. You have the right to remain silent..."_


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## aBitTooFar (29 Aug 2003)

Without further a do, the barman winked and said "the streets in Irkutsk have no double-yellow lines". Codes exchanged, the two men jumped into an inconspicuous Red Bull promotional car and headed off towards ...


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## davido (29 Aug 2003)

Without further a do, the barman winked and said "the streets in Irkutsk have no double-yellow lines". Codes exchanged, the two men jumped into an inconspicuous Red Bull promotional car and headed off towards ... 

.....The Dail, where odd looking men with briefcases can gather without being questioned by people at the bar, unless they are at a tribunal.  When they arrived, the saw the oddest looking one of all and said, "Bertie, when are you going to......."


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## aBitTooFar (29 Aug 2003)

... take the credit for the recent spell of good weather?" Bertie, with his customary modesty dismissed the idea. The one named McDowell eventually persuaded Bertie to use his great achievement with the weather to deflect criticism concerning his weakness in dealing with the unions. To Matt Cooper he said "...


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## bertie (29 Aug 2003)

*the story*

... arent I after arranging for the lads to build a mickey mouse theme park to alleviate the job losses on de nortside, sure at the very least we can put a stadium in one of the corners of the shaggin thing.  Lawlor apparently is looking after the sewerage for the thing, Matt interrupts and asks Bertie, what kind of sewerage?, Bertie gets flustered and replies...


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## davido (29 Aug 2003)

*the story*

... arent I after arranging for the lads to build a mickey mouse theme park to alleviate the job losses on de nortside, sure at the very least we can put a stadium in one of the corners of the shaggin thing. Lawlor apparently is looking after the sewerage for the thing, Matt interrupts and asks Bertie, what kind of sewerage?, Bertie gets flustered and replies... 

...."You'll have to ask my new press secretary, Alastair Campbell.  Nice fella dat. Recently became available"  With that, Campbell pipes up.....


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## Kildrought (2 Sep 2003)

*...and then...*

...a wee tune on his newly purchased tin whistle. 


Meanwhile in the dark back-streets, masked men are gathering.  They are large, mean and evil looking.  Mother's hurry small children home, as in one voice the men begin to chant......


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## Dearg Doom (2 Sep 2003)

*...and then...*

..."We are the... - wheeze! - ...Irish Hospitality Industry Alliance. We... - cough, cough! - ...are the... - choke, splutter! - ...We're only concerned with [more gasping for breath] ... employment ... compromise..." Then around the corner came...


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## davido (2 Sep 2003)

*...and then.*

....Michael Martin.  "What is this word 'compromise,' you talk of?  We in Fianna Fail have never heard of this word.  Do any of you have a light?"  While slowly inhaling, Michael spots Martin Cullen.  "This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language," he says,"that guy is.........


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## ClubMan (2 Sep 2003)

*Re: ...and then...*

*Then around the corner came...*

... a mob of _Shamrock Rovers_ supporters who, goaded on by what they considered to be the provocative way in which the tin whistle was being played and a 2-1 defeat to arch-rivals _Bohemians_, pelted the assembled throng with rocks and bottles. The _Gardaí_ meanwhile stood idly by having failed to keep the mob back after full time as promised. In the meantime...


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## davido (2 Sep 2003)

*dreamland*

... a mob of Shamrock Rovers supporters who, goaded on by what they considered to be the provocative way in which the tin whistle was being played and a 2-1 defeat to arch-rivals Bohemians, pelted the assembled throng with rocks and bottles. The Gardaí meanwhile stood idly by having failed to keep the mob back after full time as promised. In the meantime... 

....Clubman woke up.  He took off his green and white striped pyjamas and got ready for the day ahead.  Little did he know that waiting outside for him was.....


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## ClubMan (2 Sep 2003)

*TV psychosis...*

... a strange but amusingly childish little man who psychotically believed that TV was reality and that his vision of reality was all that counted. He mumbled on incomprehensibly about far flung cities and their sportsmen and tried to undermine those with alternative views to his own. Most people ignored him and preferred to concentrate instead on ...


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## Savy (2 Sep 2003)

*Re: TV psychosis...*

....the line up for Celebrity Farm. They wondered after the Cabin Fever fiasco would the farm be wrecked in an early September down pour. No one could have known what was about to happen, for on the third day a randy male pig ....


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## car (3 Sep 2003)

*rose of tralee*

..brought the rose of tralee from last year, the one with the longford/italian/donnybrook/slovakian accent, to conrad gallaghers new restaraunt/art gallery.  Conrad was cooking the food out the back on an easel.  As Conrad was short of a few quid he had to let the cameras in to film a documentary about how he took on 10 ex cons to train as chefs.  The shocking new documentary caught conrad cooking such culinary delights as...


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## tedd (3 Sep 2003)

*Re: rose of tralee*

the convicts ran for their lives back to the 'Joy where they would at least get a decent meal. Of course, poor Conrad was never the same after that dreadful accident in New York in which his...


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## Savy (3 Sep 2003)

*Re: rose of tralee*

...bags were examined at JFK after it was discovered that 6 prints that had hung in the arrivals lounge had gone missing.
By some accident they had fallen in to his bag. 
Police investigating the incident estimated that the prints had an estimated street value of $48 .

At this stage Conrad who was so ashamed decided to ...


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## aBitTooFar (3 Sep 2003)

*never ending ...*

make it up to the official / bouncer by propositioning him. The bouncer graciously declined and went straight to the newspapers to sell his story. Conrad discussed the matter with Dunphy, on his new talk-show, and declared "I was a bit tired and emotional, I am a strictly crumpet man and have never ...


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## daltonr (3 Sep 2003)

*Re: never ending ...*

> I am a strictly crumpet man and have never ...

been offside.  Dunphy losing interest in the coversation let his eyes wander around Gallaghers grotty studio flat settling on what looked like a Da Vinci.  Gallaher noticed and said....


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## Da Vinci (4 Sep 2003)

*Never ending*

"I can show you more if you like, there's lots I'd like to show you; they're in my bedroom". 

Dunphy was intrigued. Gallagher excited. His chest heaved. Gallagher popped open an Chilean Chardonnay - a fruity little number from his recent trip to Lidl in Longford. Aldi was tempting too but he just didn't have the few bob. He poured a glass and pushed it into Dunphy's strong muscular hand. It was at that point he remembered..


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## daltonr (4 Sep 2003)

*story*

> It was at that point he remembered.. 

that he had a nice bottle of chianti and some fava beans in the fridge.  So he ...


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## aBitTooFar (4 Sep 2003)

*nes*

sauteed Dunphy, fried him and ate an arm and a leg with the Chianti. Feeling rather sick he cursed Dr Atkins and his diet. Later, on his way home to Abbeville he met CJH busking on Grafton Street ...


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## Bonehead (4 Sep 2003)

*CJH*

He offered a slice of Dunphy’s stir fried bottom to CJH which was politely declined. Gallagher shuffled his feet and stared at the ground in hot embarrassment. Everyone knew CJH was more of a leg man.

In gratitude, however, CJH offered to sing a song for Gallagher. He sat up straight plucked a few cursory notes on his harp and cleared his throat in anticipation of that which would metamorphisise into ‘Money’s Too Tight to Mention’ by Simply Red. His vocal concentration, however was distracted by the soothing sensation of warm fluid trickling down the back of his left leg. Horrified, he turned around and


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## daltonr (4 Sep 2003)

*Re: CJH*

> Horrified, he turned around and 

realised that the brown paper bag that he had been given by Ben Dunne earlier in the Ilac Center contained not money as he had expected, but frozen peas, which had now melted.

Slipping his Harp into is extremely deep pocket, he headed off to...


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## Bonehead (4 Sep 2003)

*Shirts*

Thomas Pinks. It'd been ages since he bought a nice new shirt. Sure it wasn't what he was used to but to him it was as close to designer that he'd get and sure is'nt it a Louis Vuitton brand. 

He tried on a lovely green shirt. "The girls will love it", he smiled. It was perfect indeed but the brown paper bag was full of soggy peas now not money and how on earth was he going to buy this shirt. 

Mary Harney was in the fitting room and he got an idea.


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## daltonr (4 Sep 2003)

*Re: Shirts*

> Mary Harney was in the fitting room and he got an idea. 

Slipping a pair of Boxers into her plastic carrier bag which was outside the dressing room.  He waited for the commotion as the alarms went off when Mary left the store.

During the confusion and with alarm bells still ringing, CJ slipped unnoticed out of the store with a couple of shirts and a new suit.  

In his haste he bumped into Bill....


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## aBitTooFar (5 Sep 2003)

*nes*

Bin Laden, the reserved and reclusive brother of Osama. "


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## tedd (6 Sep 2003)

*Re: nes*

Of course, Bill Bin Laden and Charlie go way back. Why only last summer they...


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## Kildrought (6 Sep 2003)

*.....*

....went all the way back.

During the meanwhile, on another darkened back street, the Minister for Transport was practising his three-point turn.  

Small boys stood and laughed as....


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## Savy (8 Sep 2003)

*Re: .....*

he mounted the kerbs of the pathway.
The minister called for the boys to come over and when they did he grabbed them and ....


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## rainyday (8 Sep 2003)

*Re: .....*

....realised that they towered over his dimunitive frame. "Hey lads" he sqeaked "What time is the next LUAS due?"


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## tedd (8 Sep 2003)

*Re: .....*

"I've just failed my driving test for the tenth time", said the Minister for Transport, "and they won't let me take it again. But if the papers ever got wind of why I'm such a big fan of Luas, I'd be the laughing stock of......"


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## ninsaga (8 Sep 2003)

*Re: .....*

the Justice dept & the garda when its revealed that i've clocked up 10 penalty points already. But never mind I know who's buttons to push so that 'my slate is wiped clean' . It non other than...


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## daltonr (9 Sep 2003)

*Re: .....*

> It's non other than... 

The transition year student they have drawing lines in the Penalty Points book at the local station because the system isn't computerised.

People should have known I had my reasons for a paper based system.   I haven't trusted computers ever since...


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## Boney M (11 Sep 2003)

*Computers*

I did one of those online tests that determines whether a person is right or wrong in the majority of situations. Being a man, the result that should have been was that I'm largely right in all cases but I was amazed to find the converse. I reckoned the bloody thing was devised by some nasty feminist.  

I even took another test that assessed my navigation skills and I performed below average. I just don't believe it.

It assessed my emotional side as non existant and my caring and affection skills as being 'lame' of all things. "But I'm a man" I though to myself, I am brilliant, I am...


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## tedd (12 Sep 2003)

*Re: Computers*

...just waking up from a nightmare in which I though I was Minister for Transport. Thank God, things could be so much worse, imagine being responsible for all those holes and collapsing basements and traffic jams. No...not me! Sometimes I'm grateful for my lowly job as....


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## ninsaga (12 Sep 2003)

*Re: Computers*

Minister for Health. Jaysus sometimes ya know its a hard job trying to look sincere & pretending that I give a This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language about some auld one who's lying on a trolly in a hospital corridor for the last year and a half waitin for a hip replacement. 

"Get up outta dat" says I "& have an aul holiday for Yourself,twill do ya the world of good".....speaking of which where's my golf clubs & the passport. "Seamus start up de aul jet & lets get crackin". "Who else is comming on the junkett?". Is....


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## daltonr (15 Sep 2003)

*Re: Computers*

> "Who else is comming on the junkett?". Is.... 

Paisley and Adams going to join the 4 ball?  Isn't great crack all the same how they convince everyone they hate each other and all the time there the best of friends.

Did I tell you about the time they played doubles table tennis and Paisley turned to Adams and said ....


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## ninsaga (16 Sep 2003)

*Re: Computers*

'NEVER NEVER NEVER .. that ball was never out.'

To hell with this, I'm going to the pub to have a few jars. The laughin' Shamrocks are playing in O'Malleys tonight, They're great crack Gerry. Let me round up a few of the lads & we'll have a right session. Let me give David a call.....'Hiya David, is that You? What are You up to this evening???.........


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## whocares (16 Sep 2003)

*David*

"I'm hanging over the Thames in a glass box.  Haven't you seen me all over the news papers.

"C'mere Ian, you wouldn't do me a huge favour and ...."


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