# Living pay day to pay day - need some advice please



## JillyS (1 Nov 2020)

Hope everyone is keeping safe and well in these hard times.

Where to start, I’m a single parent with 2 teenagers older one is visually impaired with autism. Trying to live on my income is very hard I’ve been to VDP which does help, here’s the but! Every week seams really hard still, my daughter(15) comes to me mammy I need x y or z I cringe as I know my answer is like a broken record at this stage, next week baby oh but mum you say that every week,(sigh)

Their dad died a few years ago so it makes things a lot harder. My car broke down few weeks ago too, it’s just never ending. I just find every day harder especially with all the restrictions in place. I was drastically driven to message my nearest super valu on Facebook for out of date food at a reasonable reduction an was shot down, I was so disappointed and embarrassed.

I know there’s people out there a lot worse off than myself and my family. I’ve been to MABS, all my bills have been reduced. VDP does help too. Can anyone else suggest anything. I’ve gone hungry to make sure my kids don’t go without their meals  Opening the cupboards and fridge makes me feel worthless.

Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading any suggestions welcome,
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*Update Mod Note:  Money Makeover Info completed on behalf of Jilly*

Age:

*Spouse’s/Partner's age:  N/A - husband died some years ago*

Annual gross income from employment or profession:  *Social Welfare Lone Parent €243 per week*
Annual gross income of spouse:  *N/A*

Monthly take-home pay  *N/A*

Type of employment: e.g. Civil Servant, self-employed  *Unemployed*

In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn, or  *Living from one Social Welfare payment to another*
(b) saving?

Rough estimate of value of home    *Renting  €55.00 per week HAP Scheme*
Amount outstanding on your mortgage:  *N/A*
What interest rate are you paying? *      N/A*

Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc  *Credit Union loan of €5,000 paid off at €20.00 per week*

Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month?  *N/A*
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? * N/A*

Savings and investments:  *€2,500*

Do you have a pension scheme?  *N/A*

Do you own any investment or other property?  *No*

Ages of children:  *15 and 17*

Life insurance:  *No*


What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?

*Shopping varies, depending on what’s left after bills are paid. I don’t have any investments or own any property except my car which is idle at the moment.  25€ esb, 25€ heating oil. *


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## Sue Ellen (1 Nov 2020)

Hi Jilly,

Welcome to AAM.

Very sorry to hear that you are suffering so hard financially.  It certainly is very tough managing with two children on your own.  Hopefully others here will be able to give you some general financial advice.

It might be best if you could complete a Money Makeover post see here and let people have a look at any savings that you might be able to achieve.


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## 50andOut (1 Nov 2020)

Hi Jilly

Welcome to aam. Clearly a tough situation and I take my hat off to you for doing what you can. 

Firstly, kids are cute and are surprisingly capable when involved and will understand how hard things are. Be straight with them and tell them that there is a limited allowance if any each month for luxury spending on clothes or whatnot after the basics are covered. I am sure your daughter will be accountable and advise her that she should look to find a part time job to provide her own pocket money.

Outside of that it's hard to comment on your situation or give any advise without full details of income and expenditure. Can you complete the full makeover template?

50+O


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## JillyS (1 Nov 2020)

Hi and thank you for replying,

I’m unemployed lone parent 243€ per week. I’m in rented accommodation 55€ per week, with a credit union loan of 5k€ savings 2.5k€ Paying 20€ weekly off the loan. 25€ esb, 25€ heating oil.

Shopping varies, depending on what’s left after bills are paid. I don’t have any investments or own any property except my car which is idle at the moment

My children are 17+15
Think I may have replied to a wrong thread earlier oops, apologies.
Also I’m not really good with filling out forms, and when writing things tend to be a bit all over the place.


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## Pinoy adventure (1 Nov 2020)

Welcome along OP
There does be some food banks which might be able too offer some help.

Re the child with more needs,you should look into applying for DCA in respect of this child.

You could also apply for the carer allowance for yourself,as well as a care card which entitles you too discounts on a wide variety of things which may help too.

What is the balance of the credit union loan ?


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## PaddyBloggit (1 Nov 2020)

JillyS said:


> Hi and thank you for replying,
> 
> I’m unemployed lone parent 243€ per week. I’m in rented accommodation 55€ per week, with a credit union loan of 5k€ savings 2.5k€ Paying 20€ weekly off the loan. 25€ esb, 25€ heating oil.
> 
> Shopping varies, depending on what’s left after bills are paid. I don’t have any investments or own any property except my car which is idle at the moment.



I've copied your post back here Jilly. You need to continue posting your information here. You should answer all of the Money Maker questions to get meaningful answers.
*
Edit: *
I deleted the template (no need for me to be adding unnecessarily to the thread) as *Sue Ellen* has put it into your original post.


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## Thirsty (1 Nov 2020)

Are you sure you are claiming your full SW entitlements?

With two dependent children I calculate OPF as €283 per week.  You should have child benefit as well which is currently €280 per month for two children.

Agree re carers allowance application.

Are there other benefits, such as fuel allowance etc that you might be able to claim?

Edit to add: fuel allowance is currently €24.50 per week so worth applying for.

If you don't already have the skills, would you consider taking office based computer training? 

The shift to working from home is significant and would allow you to take on part-time work.  

I believe from April the 'disregard' for earned income will be increased so you won't lose out.

Edit again: dont think that spreadsheet is active?


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## Sue Ellen (1 Nov 2020)

JillyS said:


> Hi and thank you for replying,
> 
> I’m unemployed lone parent 243€ per week. I’m in rented accommodation 55€ per week, with a credit union loan of 5k€ savings 2.5k€ Paying 20€ weekly off the loan. 25€ esb, 25€ heating oil.
> 
> ...



Hi Jilly,

I have added the form to your original post and tried to complete as much of it as possible for you.  If any of the information is incorrect let me know and I can correct it for you.

Am I right in seeing that you have a loan of €5,000 and savings of €2,500?  As you say you are paying off the loan at €20 per week you may well be paying unnecessary interest.  I understand that you need to keep some savings for emergencies but perhaps you should consider clearing some of the loan and avoid unnecessary interest.

Are you availing of the HAP scheme hence the reason why you rent is so low at €55 per week?

Sue Ellen.


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## Clamball (1 Nov 2020)

I would recommend that you work with the 17 year old to apply for a disability allowance in his/her own name.  Do they go to a disability service?  If so they may be able to help you fill out the form.  This way you will have two incomes coming into the house and it should remove the strain on you to pay for everything for the family of 3.


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## JillyS (1 Nov 2020)

My sons not 18 till next year, he wasn’t entitled to DCA, they said his sight loss isn’t severe enough, hence I’m not entitled to carers allowance. I am on the HAP scheme, I’ve already reduced my loan with the credit union. 20€ minimum payment. My payment for lone parent will reduce in January I will then have to switch to jobseekers. My situation will then be worse. My rent will go down thankfully.


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## JillyS (2 Nov 2020)

I just looking into other resources to help with food, I don’t live near any food banks that I’m aware of. I live in the south east. I’m not looking for money. Although it’s a disgrace that the social welfare system says although your son has a visual impairment it’s not severe enough, his condition is life long with no cure. It could get worse but I tend not to dwell on that. Hopefully I will have some luck when he turns 18 with disability allowance or blind pension of some sort. 
I hope You all have a safe week! Thank you


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## DeeKie (2 Nov 2020)

I would contact the council for the blind. I know someone who is blind but has a good job. They may help guide you with your son.


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## JillyS (2 Nov 2020)

I will get in touch with them, thank you!


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## uptomyeyesin (2 Nov 2020)

Hi Jilly,

Well done for asking for help and for looking after your family so well. 
Citizens advice can be very helpful for talking through your situation and advising what other supports are available to you. A friend of mine volunteers with them and she is always a wealth of information for me to get advice in lots of areas. They may have some more ideas/items that you can claim for help. You are in a very tough position and doing your best. 





__





						Citizens Information
					






					www.citizensinformation.ie


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## JillyS (2 Nov 2020)

PaddyBloggit said:


> I've copied your post back here Jilly. You need to continue posting your information here. You should answer all of the Money Maker questions to get meaningful answers.
> 
> *Edit: *
> I deleted the template (no need for me to be adding unnecessarily to the thread) as *Sue Ellen* has put it into your original post.


Thank you for filling this out for me, I appreciate it.


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## Marty39 (2 Nov 2020)

Could you look for employment ? Even some hours while kids are in school. You need more income. If the kids can be home alone a job would sort you out.


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## 50andOut (2 Nov 2020)

HI Jilly

Although you say you are not looking for money, the reality is you are struggling because you are on very limited income re the SPA. You do need to ensure firstly that you receive ALL the relevant social welfare allowances available in order to help manage. A good suggestions above re citizens advice to help you review for your current situation. (although I would have thought MABS would have provide same but maybe they do not have same focus). The monthly Childcare allowance, disability allowances - autism? I don't have experience of these, but a single mum with 2 kids basic costs of living seems above your current income.

Going forward you need to look to improve your situation through working to generate a bigger income that welfare will be able to provide. Have you worked previously? As mentioned above maybe prior experience or some upskilling could assist you with gaining employment, which longer term will give you much greater opportunities.

Also do you need a car? They are money pits, unless an absolute requirement, get rid of it and adapt to walking shorter distances/getting public transport.

50+O


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## JillyS (3 Nov 2020)

I’ve made contact with NCBI and also Citizens information hopefully everything will work out. I’d like to thank everyone for their replies.


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## Edenbridge14 (7 Nov 2020)

Jilly - well done on reaching out for help
The DCA for the most part refuse 1st time applications and you appeal it.  There is a great group on Facebook called DCA Warriors and they are a group full of parents like yourself with children that have more diverse needs and full of advise on how to apply and more importantly how to appeal with Social Welfare.  This is what you are entitled to at the end of the day
Secondly your child of 17 would be entitled to Disability allowance as this is a payment that starts at the age of 16 for 203 Euro a week.  Again there is another facebook group called - crosscroads from DCA to Disability allowance- i did a degree many moons ago in social work and understand how the dept of social welfare make it a battle for people to apply.  Don't take their 'no' as an a definite and fight them all the way when you are only trying to provide for your family the best way you can. 
Once both of your children get these payments you can then apply for carers allowance/benefit.  It all takes time but you need to get your ducks in a row.  Keep a copy of all your appointments for your children.  Document all the extra care they need.  Ask the social welfare how a clerical officer at a desk can over write a decision that was filled in by your doctor (with 7 years medical training) that stated the conditions of your child. Fight them all the way


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## JillyS (8 Nov 2020)

Edenbridge14 said:


> Jilly - well done on reaching out for help
> The DCA for the most part refuse 1st time applications and you appeal it.  There is a great group on Facebook called DCA Warriors and they are a group full of parents like yourself with children that have more diverse needs and full of advise on how to apply and more importantly how to appeal with Social Welfare.  This is what you are entitled to at the end of the day
> Secondly your child of 17 would be entitled to Disability allowance as this is a payment that starts at the age of 16 for 203 Euro a week.  Again there is another facebook group called - crosscroads from DCA to Disability allowance- i did a degree many moons ago in social work and understand how the dept of social welfare make it a battle for people to apply.  Don't take their 'no' as an a definite and fight them all the way when you are only trying to provide for your family the best way you can.
> Once both of your children get these payments you can then apply for carers allowance/benefit.  It all takes time but you need to get your ducks in a row.  Keep a copy of all your appointments for your children.  Document all the extra care they need.  Ask the social welfare how a clerical officer at a desk can over write a decision that was filled in by your doctor (with 7 years medical training) that stated the conditions of your child. Fight them all the way


Thank you for the information, my sons hospital appointments are just endless, I will take any advice on where to go next. Appealing everything


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## Clamball (8 Nov 2020)

Is he ever an inpatient?  Or dose the service he attends have support staff.  Check out any letters you have from the consultant and see who else is on staff.  If there is a social worker contact them for help in applying for disability allowance for your son.  

At 17 he is autistic with sight issues, endless hospital appointments.  What are the realistic prospects of him getting the leaving and being able to hold down a full time job?  Probably very low due to his permanent issues, so he should be eligible.  Maybe he is not blind enough or not autistic enough for social welfare, I can’t tell but apply and if they refuse you can find out how much weight they gave to each element of his disability.  The money would be so much help for food, keeping your car going to take him to his appointments etc.


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## Bronte (8 Nov 2020)

Jilly welcome to AAM. The food issue seems to be a big problem for you. Contact the St. Vincent’s de Paul, as far as I know they deliver food packages and do good work especially for Christmas. Have you checked out your supermarket for the half priced food when it’s near it’s sell by date. All supermarkets do this, generally at a certain time of the day. Ask the staff. Are you good at making the most of the money you do spend on your groceries. Having a weekly meal plan for example. Have you worked out where your money goes each week, that’s a starting point on managing better.

If you come back with more details on your spending we may spot some areas that can improve. As regards your 15 year old, yes it’s hard to say no all the time, but as parents that is our role. Especially when you don’t have the income. Your daughter needs to understand that and stop asking you. Teenagers are brilliant at the pester power, but this should not make you feel bad, which she is doing to you, without really understanding. But don’t let it get to you. You’re having a tough time all of you. Made more difficult by the tragedy of losing your husband, their father. which is a big life changing blow, but you are doing great, you’ve got you and the children this far.


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## PaddyBloggit (8 Nov 2020)

Bronte said:


> Contact the St. Vincent’s de Paul





JillyS said:


> VDP does help too.



She did Bronte.



Bronte said:


> Have you checked out your supermarket for the half priced food when it’s near it’s sell by date.





JillyS said:


> I was drastically driven to message my nearest super valu on Facebook for out of date food at a reasonable reduction an was shot down, I was so disappointed and embarrassed.



She did Bronte.


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## JillyS (14 Nov 2020)

Clamball said:


> Is he ever an inpatient?  Or dose the service he attends have support staff.  Check out any letters you have from the consultant and see who else is on staff.  If there is a social worker contact them for help in applying for disability allowance for your son.
> 
> At 17 he is autistic with sight issues, endless hospital appointments.  What are the realistic prospects of him getting the leaving and being able to hold down a full time job?  Probably very low due to his permanent issues, so he should be eligible.  Maybe he is not blind enough or not autistic enough for social welfare, I can’t tell but apply and if they refuse you can find out how much weight they gave to each element of his disability.  The money would be so much help for food, keeping your car going to take him to his appointments etc.


I have re-applied fingers crossed hope my son receives some good news soon


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