# Home Alone from what age?



## Lingua (10 Jul 2007)

I need to settle an argument:
What is the legal age one can leave their offspring Home Alone - is it 15 or 16?  (for a period no longer than 3 nights)


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## Thirsty (10 Jul 2007)

Shocking as it may seem, there is no legislation on this issue.

Personally, I would not leave teenagers overnight.


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## ClubMan (10 Jul 2007)

Not even 19 years olds?


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## pinkyBear (10 Jul 2007)

19 year olds - home alone - party party party!


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## Fintan (10 Jul 2007)

I'd say it depends on the teenager, some teenagers I wouldnt let make a cup of tea, but there are others I'd trust completely. 

Of course there is always the old reverse psychology, say to them just as your leaving, "when you throw your party make sure nothing gets damaged"....worked wonders on me.


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## purplealien (10 Jul 2007)

Lingua said:


> I need to settle an argument:
> What is the legal age one can leave their offspring Home Alone - is it 15 or 16? (for a period no longer than 3 nights)


I wouldn't ever leave a 15/16 yr old alone for three nights - i find this absoloutely shocking!! Is there anyone else with me here or am i a very over protective mother.


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## Sn@kebite (10 Jul 2007)

14-19 would be the party age i think.
But yeah seems a bit dumb to leave kids of any age alone.


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## BOXtheFOX (11 Jul 2007)

Well he's back from Oxegen....the tent dumped on the floor, the dirty clothes still in the bag, the wellington boots still caked in muck and dumped in the garage, the pots and pans left beside the kitchen sink, my torch missing......but hey! He's happy.


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## Thirsty (11 Jul 2007)

> Not even 19 years olds?


Nope! And if they are still living at home at the age of 25 I've done something wrong!


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## Gordanus (11 Jul 2007)

purplealien said:


> I wouldn't ever leave a 15/16 yr old alone for three nights - i find this absoloutely shocking!! Is there anyone else with me here or am i a very over protective mother.



I don't think you're over-protective, and I'd have to say it depends on the child - some mature earlier/later than others.  But rule of thumb:
I'd let them go away on camps etc with adult supervision; I'd let them be alone in the house while I'm at work (& they're on hols) from about 13-14; but I wouldn't leave them alone for 3 days & nights without adult supervision till 17-18. 

 Is there a relative or family friend who could drop in?


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## niceoneted (11 Jul 2007)

My nephews friends mother was asked by neighbours to keep an eye on there two teenagers 14 and 16 while they were away for the weekend. She agreed to pop in in the evenings and later in the night and make sure they had eaten etc.  Major party had during the day on the sat - alot of  drunk teenagers and one girl who was a diabetic collapsed which was worrying. not a good idea. 
From another experience I would take into account that no matter how much you think your kids wouldn't do it watch for the peer pressure ...'ah come on your parents are away what's the harm we'll help clean up ....etc etc, 
got caught myself about 18 yrs ago too!!!


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## Guest127 (12 Jul 2007)

every teenager over 16 has two words ( appear to be know worldwide)that should strike terror into anyone thinking of leaving them alone for 3 days. Free House.


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## foxylady (12 Jul 2007)

purplealien said:


> I wouldn't ever leave a 15/16 yr old alone for three nights - i find this absoloutely shocking!! Is there anyone else with me here or am i a very over protective mother.


 
Have to agree with you on that one. I wont even leave my 14 yr old on his own for the night while I go to the pub and its not a trust issue. its more a case of worrying about all sort of wierdos around.


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## Cahir (12 Jul 2007)

Gordanus said:


> but I wouldn't leave them alone for 3 days & nights without adult supervision till 17-18.



But a lot of kids go off to college at 17 (me included).  I was left home alone for a week at 16 and 2 of my friends were allowed to stay.  We had a great time.  Didn't have parties but didn't get in trouble for coming home from town at 4 or 5am!


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## Trish2006 (12 Jul 2007)

It does depend on the teenager.  I was 16 doing the leaving, 17 by the time I started college.  If I wasn't living at home should my parents have forbidden me from going to college in another part of the country cos I'd have to rent?  What about a 17 year old mother, they do exist.  She can look after her own child, even be married (possible with court exemption order?), but can't be left on her own for a night without her parents?  Bet her husband would love that.

My parents went away last summer and left my 17 year old brother at home.  Granted I only live 10 mins away and was instructed to check in on him every day and he'd rather spend the week at parties in other people's houses than throw one himself. Plus this was the first summer they left him alone, at 15 and 16 my sister moved back in, just to sleep, left him to it during the day.

At 14 I was babysitting for plenty of neighbours and minding the above brother who was 2.  So I really don't think it's as cut and dried as one day it's irresponsible but if they turn 18 the next day it's not.  Noone grows up over night.


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## Bubbly Scot (14 Jul 2007)

I wouln't leave my 15 year old home alone overnight, but she's been home on her own during the day since she was 12. At first only for up to an hour but at 15 I'd leave her for as long as I needed to during the day. She needs her own space sometimes just as we do.
That said, she's NEVER babysat and I doubt she will for a couple of years yet.


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## Maggie B (15 Jul 2007)

I never left my two boys home alone then when oldest reached 18 he went off to USA(to family) but decided to stay on in his own place. Youngest went to college in Limerick straight to a flat at 17. Now I think I would have been better off leaving them for the odd night to give them a bit of responsibility.


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## wheels (15 Jul 2007)

Bubbly Scot said:


> I wouln't leave my 15 year old home alone overnight, but she's been home on her own during the day since she was 12. At first only for up to an hour but at 15 I'd leave her for as long as I needed to during the day. She needs her own space sometimes just as we do.
> That said, she's NEVER babysat and I doubt she will for a couple of years yet.



I was left on my own in the house from an early age during the day (as both parents worked during the day and I lived close to my school) and I think it was the best thing my parents could have done for me. I was always sure to be secure in the house and make sure everything was locked etc. and always had a number to contact a neighbour or my parents should anything go wrong. It made me very independent from a very early age.


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## BlueSpud (16 Jul 2007)

Another way to look at is as follows:  Imagine you left them home alone and something really bad happened that could easily have been avoided if there was a guardian/minder there.  Below what age would you beat yourself up because it was stupid to leave them alone.  That is the age you are looking for.  I.e. be responsible, regardless of how mature your child is.


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## jhegarty (16 Jul 2007)

Well I was out in the big bad world of college at 17 , so I can't imagine how I would have coped if I was never left more than an hour unsupervised before that....


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## Bronte (18 Jul 2007)

The first time I can remember being home alone was about 7 or 8 with all younger siblings.  Got up when they went out at night to watch the telly, lit papers in fireplace coz we were cold and the chimney went on fire, did we ring anyone and tell them about it, no way, too afraid of the consequences, just watched the chimney from inside and it took ages to go out.  No one ever found out until years later...........


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## Purple (18 Jul 2007)

Aileen2 said:


> The first time I can remember being home alone was about 7 or 8 with all younger siblings.  Got up when they went out at night to watch the telly, lit papers in fireplace coz we were cold and the chimney went on fire, did we ring anyone and tell them about it, no way, too afraid of the consequences, just watched the chimney from inside and it took ages to go out.  No one ever found out until years later...........


7 or 8 it is then


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## YouNeek (18 Jul 2007)

Kildrought said:


> > Not even 19 years olds?
> 
> 
> Nope! And if they are still living at home at the age of 25 I've done something wrong!


 
The fact that you won't leave 19 year old adults at home alone explains why they will probably still be at home when they reach 25.


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## Welfarite (18 Jul 2007)

What we are talking about here is maturity....no, not the teenager's state of mind....the parents! As in: are you mature enough not to consider leaving your child (for anyone under 18 is a child) alone at night or even "for a few hours"?


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## Purple (18 Jul 2007)

Welfarite said:


> What we are talking about here is maturity....no, not the teenager's state of mind....the parents! As in: are you mature enough not to consider leaving your child (for anyone under 18 is a child) alone at night or even "for a few hours"?


What? 
I'm not clear, are you saying that it's a sign of immaturity to leave a 17.5 year old (or a group of 17.5 year olds) alone for a few hours in the evening? If so I presume you are joking! At that age I had travelled abroad alone and with friends and had lived away from home for months at a time. 
That sort of parenting will produce children that will be living at home at 40 and will still not be able to look after themselves.


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## YouNeek (18 Jul 2007)

Purple said:


> That sort of parenting will produce children that will be living at home at 40 and will still not be able to look after themselves.


 
Precisely the point I made above.


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## Thirsty (19 Jul 2007)

> ....you won't leave 19 year old adults at home alone....


See my original post - I will not leave my children alone *overnight*.


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## YouNeek (19 Jul 2007)

Kildrought said:


> See my original post - I will not leave my children alone *overnight*.


 
Your original post:


Kildrought said:


> Shocking as it may seem, there is no legislation on this issue.
> 
> Personally, I would not leave teenagers overnight.


 
ClubMan's query:


ClubMan said:


> Not even 19 years olds?


 
Your reply, specifically quoting ClubMan:


Kildrought said:


> > Not even 19 years olds?
> 
> 
> Nope! And if they are still living at home at the age of 25 I've done something wrong!


 
Regardless of their age, your children will always be *your* children.
At some point, you must accept that while they are *your* children, they are no longer children, but adults.
At what age would you consider leaving them old or responsible enough to be left alone for a full night?
I'm not trying to be provocative - I'm just curious.


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## Purple (19 Jul 2007)

YouNeek said:


> Regardless of their age, your children will always be *your* children.
> At some point, you must accept that while they are *your* children, they are no longer children, but adults.
> At what age would you consider leaving them old or responsible enough to be left alone for a full night?
> I'm not trying to be provocative - I'm just curious.


You are being too nice here YouNeek; not leaving a 19 year old alone overnight is just plain nuts!


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## lucan 07 (19 Jul 2007)

i have a 24 and 19 boys and if i am going away i get my sister to stay as the have partys all the time .........
 and my two take days to clan up after it


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## Thirsty (19 Jul 2007)

I rest my case!


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## Thirsty (19 Jul 2007)

> At some point, you must accept that while they are *your* children, they are no longer children, but adults


 Yep and I'll know that point has been reached when they have moved out! 

How old are your children YouNeek?


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## YouNeek (19 Jul 2007)

Kildrought said:


> Yep and I'll know that point has been reached when they have moved out!


 
So if they leave home to go to college at the age of 17, they're adults. But if they're still living with you at the age of 30, they're still children and you won't leave them alone overnight?


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## Purple (19 Jul 2007)

YouNeek said:


> So if they leave home to go to college at the age of 17, they're adults. But if they're still living with you at the age of 30, they're still children and you won't leave them alone overnight?



Mad, isn't it?


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## Thirsty (19 Jul 2007)

Lucan07 speaks from personal experience: 





> i have a 24 and 19 boys and if i am going away i get my sister to stay as the have partys all the time .........and my two take days to clan up after it


So, how old are your children, YouNeek?


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## orka (19 Jul 2007)

I dont think any posters are saying they would not leave a 19 year old alone because of concerns for the 'child's well-being and personal safety - more a concern that they will have house-wrecking parties.


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## Bronte (20 Jul 2007)

All of you should think back to when you yourself were first left home alone and if you were happy, safe and content at that age then you should apply the same to your children surely.  Not one of you have said when you were left home alone.


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## Purple (20 Jul 2007)

Aileen2 said:


> Not one of you have said when you were left home alone.


 16


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## wheels (22 Jul 2007)

Aileen2 said:


> All of you should think back to when you yourself were first left home alone and if you were happy, safe and content at that age then you should apply the same to your children surely.  Not one of you have said when you were left home alone.



12


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## Gordanus (23 Jul 2007)

14 - babysitting the younger ones........youngest was 4  (but that was just an evening, not being left overnight!)


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## Thrifty (23 Jul 2007)

Can't remember but i babysat from 14 for neighbours and friends. As the oldest girl in a largish family i remember looking after my siblings from a very young age and being left alone for a half hour/hour from about 12 onwards. My parents weren't out partying. it's just it was assumed we were safe enough. We were friendly with all the neighbours so if anything went wrong we could ran over there. Mind you i grew up in the country where from a young age we would go off by ourselves on the bike or to the woods. My parents didn't worry because they thought we were safe enough. Neighbour's kids did the same. Different time then when people didn't even think of certain things happening. I don't think i'd be so free if i had children but i don't think they should be too smothered either. I think 16 is ok personally.


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## harvey (24 Jul 2007)

A guy in my office told me that his brother lives in states and the kids are left there from 11 years on all over the place.


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## Thirsty (24 Jul 2007)

Yes Harvey and Thrifty - but are they left alone overnight?


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## Thrifty (24 Jul 2007)

I stayed over night once or twice when i babysat. Think i was 15 at that stage though (the mother was a nurse).


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## harvey (24 Jul 2007)

Kildrought said:


> Yes Harvey and Thrifty - but are they left alone overnight?


 
eh no.


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