# Being bullied at work  but afraid to progress the matter for fear of losing job.



## suzy123 (11 Jul 2011)

Hi im new to all this came across this website decided to post here so here it goes.

I'm being bullied by my supervisor at work who is picking on me over number topics. Nothing was ever mentioned to other people on the floor.

I contacted the union and forwarded emails and the union said that this is  definitely a case of bullying  and I should nip it in bud before it gets out of hand. 

While i do agree im afraid of loosing my job as i have 2 kids and need income to keep a roof over there head do i keep going and ignore it and hopefully it will pass or bite the bullet and bring it futher?

Thanks in advance to any replies.


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## Purple (11 Jul 2011)

suzy123 said:


> Hi im new to all this came across this website  decided to post here so here it gos, im being bullyed by my supervisor  in work picking on me over number topics that other people on the floor  notting was ever mentioned to them, i contacted the union forwarded  emails and union said def is a case of bullying  and i should nip it in  bud before it gets out of hand. While i do agree im afraid of loosing my  job as i have 2 kids and need income to keep a roof over there head do i  keep going and ignore it and hopefully it will pass or bite the bullet  and bring it futher? thanks in advance to any replys


I find your post very hard to read.


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## Complainer (11 Jul 2011)

You should ask for the union to help in fixing the problem. That's what you are paying your subs for.


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## serotoninsid (11 Jul 2011)

It's a judgement call.  Are you on a permanent contract?  If not, then I would suggest you keep a written record of all incidents (record everything - as you would be surprised what you will forget later on). If the issue continues, you have a solid record of the problem to call on.

If you are on a permanent contract, then maybe it's worth airing your grievance....but only you can have a gut feeling as to how your employer will react to this - what it will mean for you.  Think it through thoroughly before you reach a decision.


my 2 cents...FWIW.


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## suzy123 (11 Jul 2011)

Hi serotoninsid yes i am permanent what i was wondering is if i did bring it up to try stop it will it only cause me more trouble in the long run? was anyone in this situation before what was the outcome?


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## partnership (17 Jul 2011)

Before you record anything you should talk to the person who is  "picking on you".  If you do not tell someone that their behaviour is inappropriate then how are they to know?  The conversatioon should use the I message - what is it they are doing, what effect is it having on your feelings.  An example might be Can we have a chat about what happening.  I feel that there are times when you (name the behaviour) and the effect this has is that it makes me feel......  I understand that as a manager you have a job to do however if I am the only person being asked about this what is that about?


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## beffers (17 Jul 2011)

I would agree with the above post. I was called to give evidence at a case that a co worker brought against another co worker for sexual harassment. At no point prior to upper management getting involved, did she go to the offending party and have a one on one conversation, where she told him that she found his behaviour inappropriate and offensive & that if it didn't stop, she would go to management about him. The offending party wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. He thought he was just being funny, one of the lads etc etc. If she had pointed out the error of his ways to him, I feel pretty sure he would have changed his behaviour without all the ugliness that then ensued. 

Once he was confronted by upper management, he got very confrontational. He felt that he was blindsided by the whole thing and (stupidly) went out of his way to save face by telling lies, and getting his buddies involved to claim that his accuser was very fond of an off colour joke herself. It became a total "he said/she said" mess for everyone involved. He lost his job and rightly so. But she was ostracized (very unfairly imo) by the considerable amount of friends that he had in the company, not for what happened, but for how she handled it. A lot of that ugliness could have been averted by a simple conversation between the two parties involved at the very beginning. Try and engineer it that it happens on neutral territory (such as over lunch at the local pub) or on your turf. If the convo takes place in his office, he has all the power, which if he is the bullying kind, he will not hesitate to use to make you back down.

PS OP, is there any chance of you using the odd full stop or capital letter in your posts? It will make them easier to read & understand. Thanks.


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## fencehouses (17 Jul 2011)

Bully's need to be exposed get a Dictaphone machine and record any of the abuse if you can .i have heard a tribunal say to a person who kept a diary that they could have wrote the notes at any time and so its not a true record.
bully's win by not been taken on its as simple as that.
i would try to get hard evidence of the abuse and when i had it i would go to management or if its a mucky mouse company go sick with work related stress the go to tribunal .
DO NOT LET BULLY'S WIN


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## Jazz01 (17 Jul 2011)

Hi Suzy123,

Nothing worse than going to work & being afraid of what is waiting for you ... as you feel you are being bullied, would you be able to have a one to one discussion with this person? If so, then the first thing is to have a frank discussion with this person & explain your situation to them & how their actions / talk are putting undue pressure on you. If this person gets abusive / angry / anything that upsets you, then don't entertain it & walk out. Hopefully it won't happen like that. Have you someone in work that you can confide in? Not just a "work mate" but a close friend? 

I have worked with people in the past that didn't know that their actions / words upset others but sometimes a talk does clear things up... Can I ask you what profession you are in? What structures are in place where you work? (local HR / many supervisors/managers?) Bullying in the workplace is a VERY serious matter & if the talk doesn't resolve the issue, then HR (or the union in your case) must get involved. You will not lose your job by reporting bullying, but if you are in a job that makes you ill, then it's not a job you will stay at.

Let us know how you get on...


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## onq (17 Jul 2011)

suzy123 said:


> Hi im new to all this came across this website decided to post here so here it gos, im being bullyed by my supervisor in work picking on me over number topics that other people on the floor notting was ever mentioned to them, i contacted the union forwarded emails and union said def is a case of bullying  and i should nip it in bud before it gets out of hand. While i do agree im afraid of loosing my job as i have 2 kids and need income to keep a roof over there head do i keep going and ignore it and hopefully it will pass or bite the bullet and bring it futher? thanks in advance to any replys




Suzy,

Please could I first ask you to spell check your posts and word your sentences to make it easier for people to read your posts. Item 4 on the Posting Guidelines refers. Your post is not as hard to read as textspeak, but it is difficult to read. perhaps it should read something like this.

==========================

_Hi, I'm new to all this.
I came across this website and decided to post here so  here it goes.

I'm being bullied by my supervisor in work who is picking on me  over a number of topics. 
Nothing was mentioned to other people on the shop floor about the same topics. 

I contacted the union and forwarded  emails my supervisor had sent to me. 
The union said  that it is definitely a case of bullying  and I should nip it in bud before it gets  out of hand.

While I do agree with the Union's advice I'm afraid of losing my job as I have 2  kids and need the income to keep a roof over our heads.
Do I keep going and  ignore it in the hope that it will pass or should I bite the bullet and bring it  further? Thanks in advance for any replies._

==========================

Look at your original post and compare it with the wording above. I hope the revised wording seems clearer to you as it does to me.
This is not a put-down or a wind up. Getting your thoughts in order and communicating clearly will help you in all your dealings with your supervisor, your boss and your union.

---------------------------------

Before saying anything to your supervisor make a list the aspects of his behaviour  that you find offensive or intimidating. These is your list of grievances. Talk about the situation with a  friend outlining your concerns. Not a macho friend who'll offer to have  a go on your behalf, but someone who will listen to you, give you a  fair hearing and tell you if you are over-reacting.

If you friend thinks you are are being reasonable, then consider taking things to the next level and confronting  your supervisor about what you think is his intimidating behavior.

Before your first meeting with your supervisor think very carefully about the location. I would advise against meeting him alone if you already feel intimidated by him.

Speaking to him informally at work in front of witnesses may be the best place to talk in case the encounter goes pear-shaped for you or he reacts badly. Have a work colleague you trust standing by to intervene.

If your supervisor wants to move matters to a formal face-to-face meeting, I'd strongly suggest you do not agree to meet with him alone then either. You could ask to meet with another supervisor since your supervisor cannot be the judge in his own case. Alternatively ask to meet with him with a witness/observer present. 

Use your list of grievances as a basis for the meeting. Make sure the witness/observer takes notes of what was said. Your supervisor will certainly take notes but you may be too rattled to take notes. Consider coming back to this forum and letting us know how you get on.

I hope this is of some use to you.

ONQ.


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## Purple (18 Jul 2011)

Very good advice from ONQ.


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## onq (19 Jul 2011)

I completed a FETAC Level 6 Award in Management recently.
Employment Law, Personnel Management, Managing People.
I thought I might as well put it to good use 
Very common sense course S29Z Fás/BIM.
Useful for managers at all levels.

ONQ.


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## suzy123 (19 Jul 2011)

ONQ thank you for that reply. I contacted the union and was speaking to member of the union and i forwarded all the emails that was sent to me and forwarded all information on the case from this person, he had look at them and said it looks like my manager is knit picking and is case of being bullyed with content of the emails and what i sent up. But what i am afraid of if i bring in the Union will it open up a bigger can of worms or do ye think i should put my head down and hope it will pass? What i am wondering did anyone feel they were being targarted in work place what did ye do? I dont feel that confronting this person will do any good, however i could go above them but i am afraid incase its made out im over reacting etc. I did speak to a good friend in work regarding the nature and showed them the details and said its very unfair what is being done and i should speak up.


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## horusd (19 Jul 2011)

Great reply ONQ.  Suzy123 does you company have a policy on bullying? Can you check that with the HR team? Does the union have people qualified in handling bullying that could advise you before you take any action? The better you have a handle on the situation, the better you will be able to address it. 

As ONQ suggests, do a list of what you consider to be the Supervisor's bullying. It could be that the supervisor is unaware that their actions are so upsetting to you.


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## serotoninsid (19 Jul 2011)

@suzy123:  It depends on the strength of the case you present to the company - and also the culture of the company itself.  Are they likely to row in behind the individual concerned (simply because of seniority) - or does he/she have some good contacts in the upper rungs that are likely to back him up?
Whatever you decide - keep a record.  Someone earlier suggested that keeping a record of events was worthless as it (ultimately) could be discredited - the suggestion  being that it could be cobbled together prior to any escalation of the situation.  However, I believe there is a lot of benefit of keeping a meticulous record - for your own benefit if nothing else.  It's surprising how difficult it may be to recall the specifics of events in hindsight.  It was suggested that you should record this type of thing - but that's of little benefit - you can't do this without consent.  

It really depends upon exactly the nature of the problem, the individuals involved and how the company operates - as regards how you should handle the situation.  However, I know if it was me, I would like to have enough 'dirt' to discredit the perpetrator before airing the subject.  Remember, if this all gets 'smoothed over' later on, is he/she not going to have it in for you even more?  I don't know the nature of your work, but perhaps they will just be waiting for you to walk into a hole....


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## onq (19 Jul 2011)

suzy123 said:


> ONQ thank you for that reply. I contacted the union and was speaking to member of the union and i forwarded all the emails that was sent to me and forwarded all information on the case from this person, he had look at them and said it looks like my manager is knit picking and is case of being bullyed with content of the emails and what i sent up. But what i am afraid of if i bring in the Union will it open up a bigger can of worms or do ye think i should put my head down and hope it will pass? What i am wondering did anyone feel they were being targarted in work place what did ye do? I dont feel that confronting this person will do any good, however i could go above them but i am afraid incase its made out im over reacting etc. I did speak to a good friend in work regarding the nature and showed them the details and said its very unfair what is being done and i should speak up.



+1 what horusd and serotoninsid have posted, however...

Happy to help Suzy123 but now comes the hard part for you.
You're unhappy, the union is willing to back you and your friend thinks you should speak up.
At least two people have independently reviewed your grievance and suggested you have a case.

I think you should be wary of going over the supervisors head, but you should not bring in the union fully yet.
I suggest you could try speaking to the supervisor with your union rep present as an independent witness.
That will certainly get the supervisors attention, while offering you some support.

Hope this helps.

ONQ.

PS Thanks for the kind words guys - I'm new to giving this kind of advice.


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## suzy123 (20 Jul 2011)

Serotoninsid - excellent point what you said walking into a hole that's kinda what I'm afraid of if it's all smoothed over will they be constantly monitoring me in the future? Horsud yes company has policy on bullying no I haven't contacted HR in regards to the matter. I know it's only me that can make the call but I really am torn in what to do but thank you so much for all the helpful replies will let ye know if there's any update thanks again.


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## JoeRoberts (20 Jul 2011)

If the company have a policy on bullying then you should follow that policy strictly if you believe you are being bullied. Otherwise it will go against you when it goes to litigation. You did not follow procedure.

In a case where you believe you are being bullied, you have to decide to bite the bullet, go for the jugular or live with it. It really is as simple as that. Talking to the person will not solve it as real bullies do not accept they are bullies so reason will not come into it.
Consider carefully what you mean by "picking at you". If they are pointing out things that they believe are not being done correctly, it is not picking at you, and certainly not bullying, unless they do it exclusivesly to you when other employees are also not doing things properly. Being told you are not doing your job properly or constantly pointing out errors is not necessarily bullying. Even if you believe the issues are minor. Take a step back and consider whether there are errors or deficiencies in your work etc that warrant criticism. It is easy to confuse criticisim with bullying. If after that, you still believe you are being bullied, follow the procedure set out in the company rules covering bullying.

Remember that an accusation of bullying is a very serious matter for both parties. In my experience, true bullies tend to have bullied more than one person over a number of years. Are you the only person who feels they are bullied by this person ?

Companies who have a reasonable procedure to deal with bullying will win the case if the employee did not follow procedure.


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## horusd (20 Jul 2011)

suzy123 ask for a copy of the bullying guidelines. This doesn't commit you to do anything, but can only help you decide. Bullying is a specialist HR area, so if your going to ask the Union for advice, make sure you get someone *fully qualified* to give that advice.


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## onq (20 Jul 2011)

Real bullies do not bully large numbers of people in the work environment at once as this would expose them.
However, over time, they may have invidually bullied several people.

(Unless of course the bully is the boss and everyone is under his thumb, an unfortunate force-of-personality situation)

Bullies who are at intermediate levels cannot by definition bully everyone because sooner or later this would come to the bosses attention.

However, there are "real bullies" and then there are "people with bad work practices", allied to bosses who may be only interested in "getting things done".

This is the worst situation to be in, because you have to educate the higher echelons from the bottom up.
This really is a process of change management and one in which is seems that not many Irish companies have engaged in.
There are huge benefits in terms of staff motivation and self-improvement to be attained and great rewards for the company, albeit there will be abusers of the system.

If all this sounds beyond you suz123, it may well be so, but take heart.
Sometimes all it needs is one voice to promote a culture of change, and to start a process of transformation within a company that has benefits both for all persons, from the boss to the cleaners through all the levels in between.
These benefits will be in all areas
(1) well being
(2) personal career path
(3) productivity
(4) bottom line
and these are just some of the benefits accruing to a  company with a well run Human Resources programme.

This process may start with one employee making one manager realize his behaviour may be inappropriate.
I think that is within your ability suzy123.
Good luck with it.

ONQ.


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## Leper (21 Jul 2011)

There is a lot of information and misinformation on this thread albeit all supplied in good faith.

Let's assume bullying is occurring (as against might be could be etc). Also, remember what is construed as bullying is different from person to person.  But, legally bullying is defined by the effect it has on the person at the receiving end of the bullying.

Using a dictaphone or other recording devices can prove to be illegal as you have no right to record any person without their permission (Fact).  If you persist with recording without permission you could be accused of bullying. Remember bullying is in the eye of the receiver.

But, you have tools at your disposal to combat bullying e.g send an email to your private email address after alleged bullying episodes.  Then you have a time and date, plus what was said/done and witnesses and most important record how you felt at the time.  

Review your emails every few days and  believe me if you are being bullied you now have a useful tool in your approach to management.  Understand that management don't want bullies working for them either because large amounts of compensation can be paid to victims of bullying, usually by the employer.

There are other snippets on bullying on this forum which will be useful to you.


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## Complainer (21 Jul 2011)

Leper said:


> Using a dictaphone or other recording devices can prove to be illegal as you have no right to record any person without their permission (Fact).


Is there some specific bar on this in law?


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## serotoninsid (21 Jul 2011)

Complainer said:


> Is there some specific bar on this in law?


Open to correction, but I think it's simply that it cannot be used as 'proof' in the event of matters progressing down a legal route.  Then again, the company themselves may have set out a policy that use of this type of apparatus is a breach of their code of conduct.

Down through the years, I have done what complainer suggests ie. email your own recollection of any specific incident to yourself - then put it aside.  Add subsequent records via mail as (and if) they occur.  You may ultimately feel that you don't have the need to call on them but if you do, you have detailed info to reply upon.  I've never had to use them - but if I ever did...


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## Leper (21 Jul 2011)

I can cathegorically say that the use of recording devices without the explicit permission of the person being recorded is not acceptable despite being used even against apparent bullies. This method can be counter productive.

However, the person being bullied can record what was said/done/threatened on paper. The paper can be email, memo, diary even the back of a cigarette packet. It helps more if your feelings at the time are recorded also. Ensure any written evidence is signed and dated also. If there are witnesses write the names if you know them. Otherwise write their titles.

Forget about confronting the bully on your own. This is not your function, it is the function of management. Furthermore, write down details of any meetings you have had with management or your union.

No employer can afford to have a bully on the staff irrespective of any achievements or personality.


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## Complainer (21 Jul 2011)

Leper said:


> I can cathegorically say that the use of recording devices without the explicit permission of the person being recorded is not acceptable despite being used even against apparent bullies. This method can be counter productive.



Not acceptable to who? Don't get me wrong - I'm not particularly recommending this approach, and I agree that it may well be counter-productive. But I'm not aware of any particular legal ban on recording - are you?


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## Leper (22 Jul 2011)

We all appear to agree on one thing i.e. the use of recording devices can be counter productive. However, if you must get into the ultra nitty gritty and the law you are getting into high cost area (with involving barristers etc) and down the line the victim is not going to gain much as a result.

The subject is Bullying and the consequent solution. The side shows i.e people advising to approach the Bully, record the Bully, film the Bully etc while helpful in posters' opinions and are bona fide in origin are actually prolonging the victim's suffering. Two have serious problems because of bullying (a) the Victim and 
(b) Management.

It behoves the Victim to make a written record of as many bullying instances as possible. It is the responsibility of Management to have the bullying ceased even up to the point of sacking the bully.

Bullying is a serious subject and is on the increase.  Therefore, it is important that the Bully must not win.


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## Latrade (22 Jul 2011)

Just to bring this back beyond covert surveillance tactics. 

The first thing is that you are specifically protected within legislation to not be penalised in any way as a result of making a complaint. Being realistic that doesn't mean an employer won't penalise you for making a complaint, but it does mean that if they do there are pretty straightforward solutions. Penalisation doesn't have to just be dismissal; there are specific examples of what encompasses penalisation.

The next thing is that your employer should (emphasis on should, not will) have a policy to deal with these accusations and any other inappropriate behaviour. This should explain the procedure to go through and how a complaint will be handled. Usually you have two options: an informal route and a formal route. 

The important thing is don't let this go on and don't keep gathering evidence, just speak to who you have to in order to stop this behaviour. It's upsetting you; you want it stopped so take action to stop it.

The thing to bear in mind though is that first, bullying is not "in the eye of the bullied". The definition of bullying ends with "where it is reasonably believed to have undermined the individual’s right to dignity at work" or words to that effect. Yes, the behaviour may have been inappropriate, but the judge of "reasonably believed" is an investigation by the employer as outlined in their policy or in the absence of a policy in the HSA's code of practice.

An investigation must follow natural justice, therefore there has to be a presumption of innocence and the accused has the right to defend themselves against the accusation. The point on emails, diaries etc is not that your word is taken as absolute that this is what was said and in that context, it is that with specific time and dates to pinpoint the accusation, the accused can defend themselves. If the accusation is vague in that "they said this to me sometime in January" it's impossible for the accused to provide any defence as there is no time or date attached to it. 

So yes, there is the formal complaint route which would involve an investigation, however if the investigation is fair and follows natural justice it can find that while inappropriate, the behaviour wasn't bullying. In addition, the formal route has to assume the innocence of the individual being accused; you will have to prove your case.

That's why an informal route may well be the best option. It's obviously less intense, but the main function is to get a resolution and stop the inappropriate behaviour. If you don't want the individual sacked or disciplined and just want the behaviour to stop, this may be the best option.


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## stymied! (22 Jul 2011)

What you REALLY need to know is:

1. Bullying is NOT illegal, NOT legally defined, merely wrong.

2. Your organisation may have a policy, but policies are only something which SHOULD be adhered to, not MUST be adhered to.

3. Your organisation is unlikely to have any deterrents to bullies, so he can bully you if he wants to and is extremely unlikely to be punished. 

4. You are lower down the food chain, so mgt will support him. 

5. Document EVERYTHING - including how you felt at the time

6. If you can't PROVE it, it didn't happen

7. Do NOT involve your colleagues - they will not support you as they will be afraid of being targeted too...he has the power, not them. Your colleagues will support you if you do NOT force them to take sides. 

8. According to the Health & Safety Act 2005, the organisation has a legal obligation to ensure the working environment does not impact on your health...doctor's certs will influence this - your organisation will ONLY do something to 'help' you if they are afraid of being sued for breach of health & safety. 

9. you have to let him 'attack' you - the longer it goes on and you do NOT react, the more confident and therefore obvious, he will become about it - then you might have a chance to against him...

10. Check out ww bullyonline .org

12. Ring the Anti-bullying Centre in Trinity College - they should at least listen to you and confirm if you are being bullied.. 

13. If you do try to get your organisation to address this, you will most likely be perceived as 'the problem' for causing a nuisance of yourself. Your career will be over in that organisation and you will be transferred to do lower grade work in a dead-end area. 
You will also face problems in relation to references if you try to leave the organisation. 

This is not pretty, but it is reality. Be very sure you genuinely have a case and then either put up with it, fight your corner or leave.


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## serotoninsid (22 Jul 2011)

+1 to what stymied! has written above.  You won't get a clearer 'take' on how to deal with the problem than that - because the realities of the situation are likely to be as he/she has described.


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## Complainer (22 Jul 2011)

stymied! said:


> What you REALLY need to know is:
> 
> 1. Bullying is NOT illegal, NOT legally defined, merely wrong.


This is not true. See http://www.hsa.ie/eng/Workplace_Health/Bullying_at_Work/#Bullying-aHealthandSafetyissue


> Bullying is a workplace issue and a human relations issue. Therefore it comes under the authority of various agencies  and is on the agenda of many interested parties.  It is a health and  safety issue in so far as bullying has been identified as hazardous or  dangerous as it can lead to both safety problems and health problems.   It is also an IR issue, a HR issue, *often a legal issue *and a personal  and public health issue.


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## Sunny (22 Jul 2011)

stymied! said:


> What you REALLY need to know is:
> 
> 1. Bullying is NOT illegal, NOT legally defined, merely wrong.
> 
> ...


 
Sorry but what are you basing this 13 point list on? Most of it is rubbish.


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## Latrade (22 Jul 2011)

OP, if you want this sorted so that the behaviour stops, then please do not follow the adversarial approach suggested in some posts. Do not ignore this so that the behaviour escalates.

Just make quiet enquiries first to establish what the company's policy is. If it has one, then the only time you could be treated negatively is if you are making a malicious accusation. That is not the same as reporting what you feel is inappropriate behaviour and an employer feeling it isn't bullying after an investigation. 

Too often people either sit on these things so that they escalate or they immediately opt for the formal approach which can cause more harm than good. 

The assumption seems to be that the supervisor is bullying. I'm not defending them at all or saying you are lying. I'm saying that sometimes the context and content of things can be lost, implied, taken wrong, etc. 

An informal route will give you the option to present why you were upset by the comments and emails and why you regard them as inappropriate. It will also give the supervisor the chance to perhaps see how their manner can come across and change their behaviour. Nothing adversarial and more common sense and common courtesy.

If after this you aren't happy with the outcome or there is no change, then you can look at making it more formal if you wish.

The important thing is to get the behaviour stopped, not become involved in a battle. 

Last and to emphasise yet again, you are protected under legislation so that if you make a complaint you cannot in anyway be penalised.


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## Deiseblue (22 Jul 2011)

I quite agree that a non adversarial , informal approach to your supervisor may very well be your best option.

I would however subtly intimate that you may very well involve your Union should this matter remain unresolved.

I have often found, from experience , that the idea of Union involvement serves to concentrate management minds in reaching a mutually suitable solution.


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## Leper (22 Jul 2011)

Latrade, nice posts, obviously, you know what you are talking about.

Stymied, Sorry, your post is short of the mark - no offence, but bullying is a dreadful reality to today's workplace.


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## serotoninsid (22 Jul 2011)

Perhaps I'm missing something but I really thought that most of the points raised by stymied! were right on the money.  I guess it depends on everyone's individual experiences but I thought that many of the points raised were pretty insightful.


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## stymied! (23 Jul 2011)

leper, i made those comments based on my nightmare situation of bullying by a chain of command in the civil service, very expensive legal advice and extensive research. 

my personnel office is aware of the situation and has been ineffective. My union has met with personnel- without success. i had to be transferred out from under the mgt for health reasons-my doctor used the word ,urgent, in a letter to Personnel.

these managers still have a hold over me and my Department seems to excercise no control over these managers. i am still standing up for myself. 

i have always been recognised as being a strong performer with a good track record. 

so for you to tell me that ,bullying is a dreadful reality, is insulting and audacious in the extreme!


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## stymied! (23 Jul 2011)

Complainer, read the HSA text again: it says bullying is dangerous, and can often be a legal issue - 
it does *not* say that bullying is illegal, or against the law.

Bullying cases are often upheld because  *breaches of **OTHER legislation occurred*, such as privacy, employment, health & safety, contract or even assault!



Bullying is wrong, unethical, immoral and unprofessional - but not illegal!

have look at this: 

w w. working. com /ottawa /Bullying+ growing+ concern


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## Complainer (23 Jul 2011)

stymied! said:


> Complainer, read the HSA text again: it says bullying is dangerous, and can often be a legal issue -
> it does *not* say that bullying is illegal, or against the law.
> 
> Bullying cases are often upheld because  *breaches of **OTHER legislation occurred*, such as privacy, employment, health & safety, contract or even assault!
> ...


OK, so to recap, bullying can often be a legal issue.


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## Black Sheep (23 Jul 2011)

Perhaps the OP should consider what the desired outcome would be, and the route to be taken afterwords. While I totally agree that bullies have to be stopped it takes a very strong person to go through with the full process of investigation.
If the complaint is upheld what is the fate of the bully?
If the complaint is not upheld what is fate of the complainant?

What is the follow up for either parties?

The investigators make their recommendations, but remember they are only recommendations


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## partnership (26 Jul 2011)

Reading through all the posts I could understand if you were conflicted with all the advice being given.  ultimately it is up to you what it is you want to happen - do you want the person to stop the behaviour - if so you have to tell the person to stop, do you want to see the person disciplined - this will probably not happen.  The only other suggestion I have is perhaps to look at talking to a conflict coach who will go through the whole issue with you and try to enable you to break down what is happening and work on your choices.


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## Kev (26 Jul 2011)

Suzy123, what are the issue that the supervisor picks on you for, are the issue relating to work performance or other matters, can you be a bit more specific about the topics. 

  Being bully is not good and can cause illness/depression and this would mean that you would have to go and speak to your GP about it.


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## csirl (27 Jul 2011)

Latrade said:


> OP, if you want this sorted so that the behaviour stops, then please do not follow the adversarial approach suggested in some posts. Do not ignore this so that the behaviour escalates.
> 
> Just make quiet enquiries first to establish what the company's policy is. If it has one, then the only time you could be treated negatively is if you are making a malicious accusation. That is not the same as reporting what you feel is inappropriate behaviour and an employer feeling it isn't bullying after an investigation.
> 
> ...


 
+1

Sometimes the bully may not be aware that his/her behaviour is causing offence - quite often its down to the mannerisms, tact, emotional intelligence etc. that the person has. The first step, before trying any of the formal or semi-formal approaches suggested, is to have a quiet word face to face with the individual. I've seen situations whereby this has been enough to stop the behaviour - where the person was unaware they were causing offence. I think that if you dont do this, any accusation will fall on procedural grounds as you will be accussed of not being reasonable by pointing out the offending behaviour to the person. I dont think it is a good idea to bring a witness to the first face to face as it is more likely to cause the person to become defensive and stick their ground rather than change their behaviour (which is what you really want).

If the informal approach fails, then go down the more formal route, but don't discount the quiet word approach - it very often works.


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