# Breaking up - can't afford house on my own



## Maraez (25 Nov 2010)

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice please.
My bf and I are breaking up.we have a joint mortgage and we pay half of everything.we live quite remote and commute to work which costs a lot in petrol.as it stands neither of us can afford to move out as the other can't afford to live there without the other paying half petrol,heating oil etc.now he has told me he is moving to Australia.he says he'll pay half the mortgage each month but nothing else.that means I can't afford to live there anymore.I really don't know what to do as I'm left with the house but can't afford to live there


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## Horatio (25 Nov 2010)

-You might even be left with the negative equity if there is any - this is bad if it is the case.

-Sell it or rent out a room or two.


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## Maraez (25 Nov 2010)

Horatio said:


> -You might even be left with the negative equity if there is any - this is bad if it is the case.
> 
> -Sell it or rent out a room or two.



Can I sell it if he's in oz? what do I do in the meantime if I can't afford to live there


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## truthseeker (25 Nov 2010)

Is it in negative equity?

How long does he plan to go to Australia for and what is the likelihood of him actually continuing to pay half the mortgage while he is over there?

Realistically he should be sticking around until you can both dispose of the property - however if he is doing a runner then you need to sell (if not in negative equity) with his agreement - or rent the place out and live elsewhere.


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## marti18 (25 Nov 2010)

go and explain the situation to your bank and tell them the entire story. the debt is with them so they will advise you regarding the mortgage!


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## Maraez (25 Nov 2010)

truthseeker said:


> Is it in negative equity?
> 
> How long does he plan to go to Australia for and what is the likelihood of him actually continuing to pay half the mortgage while he is over there?
> 
> Realistically he should be sticking around until you can both dispose of the property - however if he is doing a runner then you need to sell (if not in negative equity) with his agreement - or rent the place out and live elsewhere.



I'd say it is in negative equity.bought for 280k but we hAve done loads of work to it.don't know if it would sell though.he says he'll still pay half the mortgage but I can't afford petrol on my own to get to work


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## Robin Banks (25 Nov 2010)

i'll tell you what living in australia is not cheap and the euro is still worth a lot more than the australian dollar

he better be earning megabucks in australia to cover all his own living expenses AND pay off half a jumbo septic tiger mortgage.

either he is doing a runner or he's very naive and in for a rude awakening.

i reckon hes doing a runner


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## Lauren (25 Nov 2010)

Jumbo Septic Tiger Mortgage? I like it 

Sorry for your situation OP but it does sound like he is planning on doing a runner.


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## Maraez (25 Nov 2010)

Robin Banks said:


> i'll tell you what living in australia is not cheap and the euro is still worth a lot more than the australian dollar
> 
> he better be earning megabucks in australia to cover all his own living expenses AND pay off half a jumbo septic tiger mortgage.
> 
> ...



We are on a tracker which is ok between us it's the other costs I can't afford on my own.he may do a runner I don't know it actually doesn't matter as I can't afford to live there whether he pays or not


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## Derry (25 Nov 2010)

Can you rent a room in the house? At least that might help you with some living costs and the mortgage.


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## Mommah (25 Nov 2010)

Have you quantified how much the gap is between what you will have and what you need is?
*Reducing costs:*
If he continues to pay half your mortgage, you should be able to reduce utility bills significantly in the usual ways.

Can you get someone else to car pool to work with you and share petrol costs?

Can you drive to the nearest bus/train link to Dublin if that is cheaper?

Negotiate with the bank regarding your repayments.
Prove you had addressed the above.

*Increasing Income.*
Explain to BF that if ye default on this mortgage he will never get credit in Ireland again. Might focus his mind a little...although he probably thinks he will stay in Oz. Homesickness is a potent force...I've lived abroad alot i know.


Rent a room.

Rent the whole house for short term rentals from time to time.
Locals family coming home or tourists if its that sort of area.

Increase your income, nixers, over-time, lecturing, weekends, second job in shop etc etc


You have alot of power at the moment, no matter what BF does so use it wisely.


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## Maraez (26 Nov 2010)

Thank you all for all replies received.I don't think I will be able to rent it out it needs too much work.i will have to default as I just can't afford it.what happens then?do the bank reposses?


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## Bronte (26 Nov 2010)

Maraez your boyfriend is doing a runner and you need to deal with that now. Your choices are as follows:

1. Try and sell the house immediately with his and the banks consent and get the bank to agree that you both repay the negative equity as a loan, don't think though that the bank will go for this unless negative equity isn't too bad. 

As far as I know most people are planning to go after Christmas so you don't have enough time to do this in any case.  

2. Transfer the house to you, this won't be allowed by the bank so that's no good

3. See if you can afford the mortgage if you rent a room, but going forward you'll own a house that you are paying for with someone who is uncontactable

4. Go to Oz yourself. 

5. Do nothing, he disappears, bank repossess house and you get to pay for everything, negative equity, court costs, installment order. 

You haven't given any figures but I'm guessing option 4 is really the best one. Please don't believe one word of your boyfriends promises that he's going to send back the money for the mortgage.


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## Brendan Burgess (26 Nov 2010)

I think that you should go in on your own to the bank and tell them the full story.  Show that you want to sort it out, but that you don't know if you can keep your  boyfriend to his side of the deal. 

It may be best for everyone, for the bank to repossess the house now on a voluntary basis. They will refuse initially, but at least you have suggested this to them.

It will be very difficult for the bank to repossess the house with your boyfriend in Australia, which is why it might suit them to reposess it now. 

If they do repossess it, there will be a shortfall on the sale. You and your boyfriend will still be jointly and severally liable to pay this back over time. That means that if your boyfriend does not pay his share, you will have to pay it all (and vice-versa of course). 

*some other ideas*
You live in a remote location. Is there any possibility of getting work closer to home? Is there any possibility of getting someone who works with you or near you to share the house with you? 

Brendan


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## Bronte (26 Nov 2010)

Actually that last idea by BB of going into the bank now is a great idea. You need to act fast on it.  I'd say there are a lot of other people on here in the very same situation.  Act now.


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## Maraez (26 Nov 2010)

Again,thanks for all advice.much appreciated.all I can do is go to the bank now while there is still time,only feasible option.


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