# Help! Funeral clothing question



## dieselhead (29 Jan 2013)

Hi everyone,

My new girlfriends father just passed away and I don't know how to dress for the funeral? I surely dont wear a suit or too much black I presume. 

I was thinking slacks, a shirt and a jumper under a coat or just a shirt under a coat.
My main problem is the colours I should be wearing??? My wardrobe is limited enough as I have lost a good bit of weight so all my nice shirts hang off me and my nicest jacket is navy but I do own navy slacks and black slacks.

I need to get an idea of what to wear by tonight so I can buy any bits tomorrow morning.

Thanks for the help guys


----------



## peteb (29 Jan 2013)

I would have just gone black suit, white shirt, black tie.  but thats just me,


----------



## mercman (29 Jan 2013)

Respect for the dead -- Wear a Black suit and a plain tie -- not black. Only Mourners wear black ties. And if you want to keep your girlfriend, show her some respect and dress for the occasion.


----------



## rayn (29 Jan 2013)

No need for a black suit or tie.
Any dark suit, grey/navy or similar will do. Even mourners don't always wear black now. Just support your girlfriend.


----------



## Bateman (29 Jan 2013)

A dark suit and an understated tie would be the most appropriate attire in your circumstances.

Slacks/chinos etc and a shirt would not be appropriate in my view.


----------



## vandriver (29 Jan 2013)

If you don't put a suit on,it will be remembered,and brought up in future "discussions".


----------



## STEINER (29 Jan 2013)

rayn said:


> No need for a black suit or tie.
> Any dark suit, grey/navy or similar will do. Even mourners don't always wear black now. Just support your girlfriend.




I agree.  If you don't own a suit, smart dark attire.

Your gf will remember your support.

I own one suit only.  When my grandmother died 3 years ago I wore my dark grey suit with my wedding tie which was a burgundy colour.  I didn't wear a black tie but I understand why people choose to.


----------



## becky (29 Jan 2013)

I wouldn't wear a jumper (too casual) or two different shades of navy (cheap).  Navy trousers, a white/pale blue shirt, understated tie with a casual coat/jacket will be fine.

I was at my uncles funeral a year ago and my cousins uk boyfriend wore something like that.  I probably have the 2 biggest fusspot aunts in the world and they liked him. 

The main thing is to support your girlfriend, be nice to the cousins/aunts/uncles etc, tell who you are and speak to them, try not to be awkward.


----------



## ANORAKPHOBIA (29 Jan 2013)

Once you don't turn up in shorts and sandals you should be fine. Most bereaved people don't spend their time examining what people wear at the funeral.


----------



## margaret1 (29 Jan 2013)

Have a look and see whats available tomorrow,but from the views it would seem its best to buy or hire. A suit would look smart,with a white shirt & regular tie. Maybe in a dark charcoal colour, alternatively a dark blazer with dark trousers. There are lot of price options in M&S, Next & you could be lucky in Pennys to find what you want within your budget...with the forecasts dont forget to buy a black umbrella..your girlfriend will appreciate your thoughtfullness.


----------



## amtc (29 Jan 2013)

My uncle died recently, so we had the same discussion! Do not wear a black tie, you are not part of the family mourning. Do wear a sober tie though. Just a shirt , tie, and your coat is fine, with dark trousers. I like the idea of the umbrella. You are there for your girlfriend. Bring a Mass Card for the family (a signed one not a printed one - you can get them in all churches) and bring a sympathy card for her. Remember you are not part of the family but there for her.

Oh and I'd bring a bouquet (not a lavish one) that she can lay at the grave, or give to her mother


----------



## Black Sheep (29 Jan 2013)

As you are the new BF not the chief mourners forget black and ditch the jumper.

Neat smart dress is the way to go but remember graveyards are the coldest places on earth warm clothes subdued colours are essential. An overcoat if you have one, warm scarf and umbrella (GF may be very grateful for a loan of some) and above all, well polished shoes


----------



## Hillsalt (29 Jan 2013)

You could buy cheap but smart dark clothes in Dunnes or similar. You don't necessarily have to wear a jacket  if you will be wearing a coat. It is winter! 

Black or grey trousers, dark shoes, white or pale blue shirt, dark understated non-descript tie. Polish your shoes, as stated above.


----------



## amtc (30 Jan 2013)

oh, and don't sit in the family row at the church


----------



## dieselhead (30 Jan 2013)

Thanks for all your help everyone, so what I have gathered is black shoes and pants with a blue shirt and a tie and a black jacket???


----------



## dub_nerd (30 Jan 2013)

I would go with any of your original ideas, in sober colours. Absolutely nothing wrong with slacks and shirt or jumper. It's not a fashion show, so don't be fretting about it at 3am. Pray for the dead person if you're that way inclined and support your GF. It'll go down a lot better than a fancy suit.


----------



## Vanilla (30 Jan 2013)

Black Sheep said:


> As you are the new BF not the chief mourners forget black and ditch the jumper.
> 
> Neat smart dress is the way to go but remember graveyards are the coldest places on earth warm clothes subdued colours are essential. An overcoat if you have one, warm scarf and umbrella (GF may be very grateful for a loan of some) and above all, well polished shoes


 
^This!

Colour doesnt matter as long as it's on the dark side. The smart overcoat and shoes are the most important items. Under that a jumper, shirt and trousers are fine, again on the dark side if you have them. 

You could also try tk maxx for the overcoat if you don't have one, you can usually pick up a smart dark coat there at reasonable prices.


----------

