# Being accused of Bullying and Harrassment at work



## Adders (2 Nov 2012)

Just wanted to know some advice on a situation i have where as i am being accused of the above.It all seems to be blown out of proportion and i have been  suspended from work. I admit i can be abrupt at times but i am no bully. Even one of the accusers i am a witness on their morgage which she approched me to sign for her. My company now has called for a formal Disiplinary meeting (Yet to be arranged) i am in Total bits here as they are calling this under Gross missconduct. I have been with the company nearly 20 years and feel as if i am criminal. Can anyone help ?


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## dereko1969 (2 Nov 2012)

Have you been given a copy of the accusations and the disciplinary regime in place?

Are you a member of a union?

If not, and perhaps even if you are, you should immediately engage a solicitor with expertise in this area, no matter the cost, the fact that they are using Gross Misconduct would worry me as that can bypass a lot of your protections.


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## Adders (2 Nov 2012)

No i am not a member of a union and they do not have one at my employment. I did ask about bringing accompanied by an external union rep but they refused due to the fact that he did not work for the company quoting the sensitive nature of what was being said and that they could control me (and my work college) who stood in but could not control external people. 
 I have had an inital letter on the eve i was suspended and it wasnt until the next day i was given one with the accusations on. I have had a investogatory meeting ( well two to be exact ) and now have been told  the matter under the companys disciplinary proceedures. i have yet to recive any paperwork or the statements that were taken.I do feel like i am being hung out here for being my normal self.


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## Latrade (2 Nov 2012)

Employers must react to accusations of bullying, but that should be in the format of an investigation as to the validity of the accusation.

There should be a policy in place that explains the investigation process and that gives you the opportunity to put forward a defence and respond to the accusations. Ordinarily, this process would begin with an informal investigation before a more formal one if necessary (i.e. giving both parties an opportunity to discuss what the grievance is and resolve it at that point). 

I would l clarify if it is a diciplinary meeting rather than a part of the investigation. 

It's a serious accusation to make and so the process of investigation needs to be taken seriously, I would ask your employer for a copy of their policy on Bullying and for the complaint/investigation procedure. If they don't have one, then that doesn't mean they don't have to follow what is an established process for natural justice and a fair hearing. If an employer doesn't follow this established process, they can leave themselves exposed to claims for unfair dismissal (if dismissal is an outcome) but potentially defamation of character also.


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## Latrade (2 Nov 2012)

Adders said:


> No i am not a member of a union and they do not have one at my employment. I did ask about bringing accompanied by an external union rep but they refused due to the fact that he did not work for the company quoting the sensitive nature of what was being said and that they could control me (and my work college) who stood in but could not control external people.
> I have had an inital letter on the eve i was suspended and it wasnt until the next day i was given one with the accusations on. I have had a investogatory meeting ( well two to be exact ) and now have been told the matter under the companys disciplinary proceedures. i have yet to recive any paperwork or the statements that were taken.I do feel like i am being hung out here for being my normal self.


 
I posted before your reply, so it sounds as if an investigation has been made. 

A key part of the investigation process is:



> Both parties should be given the opportunity to comment on the findings before any action is decided upon by management.
> 
> The complainant and the alleged perpetrator(s) should be informed in writing of the findings of the investigation.​​​​​




That's from the [broken link removed]  Code of Practice on handling a bullying complaint.

I'd suggest reading the code and seeing if, as per its recommendations, you feel the investigation has been carried out in accordance with it and seek legal advice if you feel there has been any variance.​


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## Adders (2 Nov 2012)

i have had all documentation although i have had to ask for some and some of the letters and transcript was sent to my works email address of which one of the accusers is using within the work place so therefull nothing was confidential and the whole process is causing me a great deal of stress


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## Leper (2 Nov 2012)

You must be presented with the case against you and you must be given the right to respond.  I dont know whether you are in the wrong or in the right.  There are at least two sides to every story + the views of witnesses.  Therefore, I cannot say if you have a case to answer or not.

There are guidelines to what is and what is not bullying. Perhaps if you amplify you will get more favourable responses?


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## RichInSpirit (2 Nov 2012)

Maybe it's just a personality clash between yourself and this other person. The other person may be shy and meek and find's you intolerable. Unknowingly you may be making this person's life hell. 

Maybe a settlement could be arranged where you both agree to work together but only engage with each other gently without hostility. If that is possible. A mediated settlement rather than a forced situation.


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## monagt (2 Nov 2012)

> abrupt at times but i am no bully



So you say. Why should a co-worker out up with abrupt behaviour? Also, you may see it as abrupt but others may see it different,

How would you have reacted if a co-worker had approached you about your attitude and behaviour? (Rhetorical - I am asking you to reflect on your response.)

Is it just one complaint or several, thats important?

Look for mediation, your abruptness/behaviour can be changed, you are willing to engage in any consultation, meetings, mediation, etc.......and willing to change behaviour going forward, you did not mean to make anyone uncomfortable, innocent of causing offence ........etc. (which I hope you are)

If you survive this...which I hope you do.......make sure your behaviour changes and stays changed as it will be on your HR record.


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## mamababa (3 Nov 2012)

monagt said:


> So you say. Why should a co-worker out up with abrupt behaviour? Also, you may see it as abrupt but others may see it different,
> 
> How would you have reacted if a co-worker had approached you about your attitude and behaviour? (Rhetorical - I am asking you to reflect on your response.)
> 
> ...



But the accusation is bullying....having an abrupt manner, while not ideal is not necessarily bullying.


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## Leper (3 Nov 2012)

Mamababa, you can talk in circles until the Twin Towers are rebuilt. Like I said earlier we dont know if you are or are not a bully. You have been suspended and your manager must think there is a case to be answered (I'm saying this with the sparse information you have supplied).

I must point out that years ago I was a victim of bullying (a situation I thought I would never have to deal with). The bully I encountered swore that she (repeat she) was only doing what she did for the benefit of our colleagues and the company. At the hearing you never came across such a cherubic liar. There is no winner in such situations. The bully lost though and afterwards informed me that she now felt bullied. Incidentally, after the successful hearing, I then got support from my work colleagues some of which (of course) would have acted as witnesses if had been asked.  Most of them had nothing to offer when push came to shove and remained meek little maggots.

You probably cannot give such information here to support your case. But, bullying is not once off, it has to be continuous almost without abatement before somebody can be suspended. I'm not acting here to judge you, but we need more info.


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## monagt (3 Nov 2012)

> But the accusation is bullying....having an abrupt manner, while not ideal is not necessarily bullying.


Depend what one calls "Abrupt Manner"
If employees feel bullied then thats bullying.........its a wide area and it includes respect.



> But, bullying is not once off, it has to be continuous almost without abatement before somebody can be suspended. I'm not acting here to judge you, but we need more info.


+1


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## BOXtheFOX (3 Nov 2012)

I would certainly ask for the Accusers written statement. His/Her exact words used. The person who is conducting the diciplinary hearing may be using their interpretation of the accusers words and you may end up defending something that was never accused at all.
You refer to "one of the accusers". This suggests that there is more than one person making an accusation. Have they come together to bully you? You need to get down to specific times and dates of accusations and what was supposedly said by you, not general hearsay.
I take it that you are in some form of management role. Has your company provided training for you for this role?  Has your company had annual performance reviews for you and how did they say you were doing?
Are you required to do performance related reviews for your staff? How do you communicate with your management about the performance of your staff?
Have their been complaints about you in the past?


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## Leper (4 Nov 2012)

Again we are talking in circles. The Accused has received details of the alleged bullying. Have no doubt, I feel the accusing people have got their cases organized. We dont know if they are right of if they are wrong. But, Adders has got to get his/her case together and it looks like it will be a difficult task.

Twenty years service counts for nothing either.

Performance related interviews, communication, talking to people involved, hearsay, union representation, abrupt manners etc are all side issues now . . . the case is BULLYING. It stands on its own. If Adders loses the likliehood is that the current suspension will be replaced by sacking.


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## Adders (4 Nov 2012)

Thank you and i know i am no Bully but what with everything that i have ever said in jest ( and in which they replied in the same way ) has been blown all out of proportion and it is making so stressed and ill.
i also recieved an email about union repesentation - even if i am not a member of one and the company does not have one where do i stand on this because as far as i can see they are denieing me who i want to repersent me 
[FONT=Verdana,sans-serif]"With regards to your question on Trade Union representation, this is an internal matter and employees are entitled to be accompanied by a colleague or a trade union representative where the Trade Union is an internally recognised Union and there are collective bargaining agreements in place internally" [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,sans-serif]can anyone elaborate ?[/FONT]


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## Leper (5 Nov 2012)

Adders, you are drip feeding tit-bits of information. Your career and reputation are on the line here. Remember, your company's reputation is on the line also. If the person who feels bullied wins the case there may be a civil matter on which compensation may be paid. Management may also be called into question inasmuch "did they do anything to alleviate the situation?".

You now say that you said things in "jest" - which is the most popular ploy used by bullies. You are using words like "abrupt" which can be interpreted differently.

You are entitled to bring an observer to your hearing. I think you should contact a good solicitor. The hearing in reality will decide your future in your current employment.

Can you elaborate what "abrupt" means in your lingo? I presume you have been given the case against you. Can you give details of its wording?


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## BOXtheFOX (5 Nov 2012)

Adders said:


> I admit i can be abrupt at times but i am no bully.


 

Are these your words or somebody elses words? I certainly would not be allowing these words to be used.

I agree that you should contact a solicitor but get one that has experience in employment law and in these matters.

Is it one person or a number of people making the accusations? If it is one person they may have been collecting stories to be used against you. If these are brought up in the hearing ask that the other accuser put them in writing.

Do you work in an environment where your work is target driven? Are you the one given the targets and are your staff also included in these motivation drives?

Would a work colleague sit in with you during the interview?

Ask can you record the meeting.


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## Deiseblue (5 Nov 2012)

Adders said:


> Thank you and i know i am no Bully but what with everything that i have ever said in jest ( and in which they replied in the same way ) has been blown all out of proportion and it is making so stressed and ill.
> i also recieved an email about union repesentation - even if i am not a member of one and the company does not have one where do i stand on this because as far as i can see they are denieing me who i want to repersent me
> [FONT=Verdana,sans-serif]"With regards to your question on Trade Union representation, this is an internal matter and employees are entitled to be accompanied by a colleague or a trade union representative where the Trade Union is an internally recognised Union and there are collective bargaining agreements in place internally" [/FONT]
> [FONT=Verdana,sans-serif]can anyone elaborate ?[/FONT]



You have the absolute right to bring a Trade Union representative to a disciplinary meeting or to a grievance procedure.

It does not matter whether the company you work for have no dealings with a Union.


To be blunt the Company are depriving you of this right.


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## Latrade (5 Nov 2012)

Leper said:


> Adders, you are drip feeding tit-bits of information. Your career and reputation are on the line here. Remember, your company's reputation is on the line also. If the person who feels bullied wins the case there may be a civil matter on which compensation may be paid. Management may also be called into question inasmuch "did they do anything to alleviate the situation?".
> 
> 
> Can you elaborate what "abrupt" means in your lingo? I presume you have been given the case against you. Can you give details of its wording?


 
I agree with your first point. From the OP several issues have arisen since where it is difficult to advise. It initially seemed that the company actesd rashly and didn't follow procedure, but as the discussion has progressed there has been an investigation and full disclosure. Unless there is a reason to suspect that there wasn't a fair hearing or that the company didn't follow natural justice (e.g. not presenting you with the accusations or not giving you an opportunity to respond to the accusations), there's little to add on this forum.

Again, the OP stated that they were not allowed union representation, but they state that they were accompanied by another individual. That doesn't seem to be contrary to what the company has stated and the OP is not a member of a union anyway.

However, I do not feel it appropriate to probe or that we need further details on the accusation.


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## AgathaC (7 Nov 2012)

Can only echo what other posters have recommended, i.e seek professional advice.


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## Grizzly (7 Nov 2012)

Adders said:


> Even one of the accusers i am a witness on their morgage which she approched me to sign for her.


 
Has your personality changed do you think or has this friend been turned against you, by others?


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## Leper (7 Nov 2012)

Latrade said:


> However, I do not feel it appropriate to probe or that we need further details on the accusation.


 
Time to call a halt then, Best of Luck Adders if you are not a Bully.


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