# Any posters aged around the 40 mark or over?



## Caveat (9 Dec 2009)

...and has 'life begun' for you or did life begin for you? 

Just wondering. A lot of folksy sayings seem to be rooted in accepted truths or experiences. 

As I approach the milestone myself can any posters attest to the accuracy of the saying 'life begins at 40' and if it does, why or in what way?


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## RMCF (9 Dec 2009)

Well I am a recent arrival in the 40something group, and to be honest things didn't change much - you're just a day older.

Having said that, I have my 1st baby on the way before Xmas, so I suppose you could say that my life is perhaps about to start all over again (oe end, depending on which way you look at it !!!).

I have heard some friends recently who had children (and who are in their mid 30s) that its a young mans game. Time will tell, eh?

To be honest, I'm very happy where I am right now, and am not sure if I would go back to my early 20s. All that drinking, partying, courting ... don't think I could do it all again


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## truthseeker (9 Dec 2009)

RMCF said:


> To be honest, I'm very happy where I am right now, and am not sure if I would go back to my early 20s. All that drinking, partying, courting ... don't think I could do it all again


 
It was hard work alright, all those late nights and excesses....fun though.

Ive a few years to go before the big 4-0 but will watch this thread with interest to see what I should be anticipating!!!


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## Firefly (9 Dec 2009)

Caveat said:


> ...and has 'life begun'?


 
It's just said to help break the blow..you're screwed Caveat!


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## shopgirl (9 Dec 2009)

Age is irrelevant, it's all about attitude.  I know some people in their early 20s and they are so negative about life and I know someone who is 91 and there aren't enough hours in the day for her to do all the things she wants to do. Don't think in terms of age just focus on having a positive attitude.


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## Graham_07 (9 Dec 2009)

Caveat said:


> ...and has 'life begun' for you or did life begin for you?


 
I turned 40 a few years ago ( not saying how many  ) and a few months later I got one of [broken link removed]. It's been a blast since although there were the usual comments at the time from some sources about "mid-life crisis" I guess from 40's onwards you can get away with saying things you mightn't have said earlier and people just think you're cranky 'caus you're older  . I guess with family largely grown up one does have more free time and can head out whenever you want without having to think of babysitters etc. As some wag once said, "you're only as old as you feel and if all yo do is feel then you must be old"


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## mathepac (9 Dec 2009)

Graham_07 said:


> I turned 40 ... and a few months later I got one of [broken link removed]. ...


Ah a financial hair-dresser.


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## Kine (9 Dec 2009)

RMCF said:


> To be honest, I'm very happy where I am right now, and am not sure if I would go back to my early 20s. All that drinking, partying, courting ... don't think I could do it all again


 

Lies, I'm loving every second of it  And I'm not even in my early 20's!!


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## Graham_07 (9 Dec 2009)

mathepac said:


> Ah a financial hair-dresser.


 
Yes, it's a perm-anent addition to the motor pool.


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## thedaras (9 Dec 2009)

Yes, and its dreadfull!! 
Life as you thought it may be some day, just wont be..
You are now over the hill /past it,done for..
Whatever changes you were going to make you probably havnt/wont/cant.
Its too late now,time to get out the slippers

40 year olds are not what they used to be,for example my parents were considered old and appeared really old to me when they were 40.

These days,40s is the new 30s..people tend to take care of themselves much better now and there are so many products available now to help the ageing process

That being said,if you want to do something different with your life,you had better get your act together......soon......

Next thing you know you will be 50 and asking the same question..


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## mathepac (9 Dec 2009)

thedaras said:


> ... there are so many products available now to help the ageing process ...


I found and used them all - drink, drugs, tobacco, rock 'n roll, sex, etc.

As a 20-year old the doc warned me that all the drinking, drugging, sex parties, smoking and rocking-and-rolling would kill me, so I gave up singing.


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## DrMoriarty (9 Dec 2009)

Last time I went for a check-up, the nurse told me I'd have to stop playing with myself.

I asked her why, and she said: 'Because I'm trying to examine you!'


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## BillK (9 Dec 2009)

I believe that every decade of life has been great. 

My working life was very varied and each job I did I enjoyed. Iam enjoying my retirement even though the old body (mine!) is starting to creak a bit.


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## RMCF (9 Dec 2009)

Perhaps I should have mentioned the one major thing that I don't like about being 40+ (in fact I've had the problem for quite a few years now) - and thats the fact that I have a lot of aches and pains. 

I can live with them but a lot of football and sports over many years on bad surfaces have started to take their toll on the old bones. Doesn't stop me still trying to play as often as possible though.

I have to admit that the day I have to hang the boots up will be a sad one for me. And obviously I have to accept it might not be far away


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## Lex Foutish (9 Dec 2009)

I'd always thought you were old and wise, Cav! 

Is it the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hddjDyYdI0


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## AgathaC (9 Dec 2009)

shopgirl said:


> Age is irrelevant, it's all about attitude. I know some people in their early 20s and they are so negative about life and I know someone who is 91 and there aren't enough hours in the day for her to do all the things she wants to do.


Absolutely agree.


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## liaconn (9 Dec 2009)

Totally agree. I know some real aul ones in their twenties and some people who are great fun in their forties and fifties.


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## Purple (10 Dec 2009)

You've a few years on me Cav, but not that many! Let us know what it feels like when it happens.


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## Lex Foutish (10 Dec 2009)

Purple said:


> You've a few years on me Cav, but not that many! Let us know what it feels like when it happens.


 
I could offer you my accumulated wisdom but I've always believed that sense bought is better than sense taught.

Will PM you, Cav. There's one or two things you need to know..............


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## Mpsox (10 Dec 2009)

I celebrated the 10th aniversary of my 30th birthday earlier in the year, it was a bit of a downer to be honest, when I was younger, 40 seemed, well, old..........

I'm not sure if life begins at 40, but I do know, I'm glad I'm not starting out in my 20s in the current climate

It's a great excuse for presents though, wifey took me to Rome, excellent time


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## TarfHead (10 Dec 2009)

My 40th is disappearing rapidly in my rear view mirror. To all intents and purposes, I am middle-aged, yet in my head .. 

About 20 years ago, there was a guy in work who, to me, seemed ancient. Last year it hit me (hard ) that he was, back then, younger than I am now.


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## truthseeker (10 Dec 2009)

I find it scary that when I meet up with friends I havent seen in a while the grey hair is far more prominent!!

For years my friends looked the same to me, but in the past 5 years the age is starting to show.

To say nothing of the lines I see on my own face when I look in the mirror - why oh why am I so expressive - Im gonna end up like one of those wrinkly dogs before too long!!!


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## Arabella (10 Dec 2009)

I was around the 40 mark seventeen years ago .Personally speaking, although I head towards - and look forward to - retirement, I must say that I enjoy what life has to offer, still love my husband, kids AND grandkids. Apart from work, I don't take myself too seriously. I've got a couple of good friends that I would trust completely. Watch very little telly - reading and playing cards is our thing. All in all, I would love to stay in this part of life's journey. The worries and insecurities have evaporated. Oh, I forgot - a few lines here and there, two beautifully symmetric crows feet and things generally heading south. I understand these things and put up very little resistance. An optimistic pragmatist I guess.


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## Vanilla (10 Dec 2009)

I'm not there yet either but bring it on.


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## The_Banker (10 Dec 2009)

I'll be 40 next week. I remember as a child finding out my mothers age (33) and thinking that it was ancient. 

That said, I don't feel old. I still play 5 aside and when I tell people I am 40 they seem shocked (not sure if that is a good thing or not!!). 

I can remember my first day in nursery school, primary school, communion and confirmation and they seem like they happened last year.
I remember my first kiss as if it were just last week.

A lot of people I know fear getting older but I have no issue with it. I don't hide my age and I think people who do are silly.

However, the years do fly by...


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## ney001 (10 Dec 2009)

I feel...... and look like i'm forty at the moment if that counts!


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## Ancutza (10 Dec 2009)

Got 10 more days to go until I'm 39.  Jaypers!!!!


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## Arabella (10 Dec 2009)

Ancutza said:


> Got 10 more days to go until I'm 39. Jaypers!!!!


Touche, the 20th. Have pencilled it in


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## RMCF (10 Dec 2009)

Big difference you do notice between being 25/30 and being 40:

- When mates around 25/30 all meet up their idea of a good nights craic is getting mangled on an all-day session, off to a nightclub, shots, more shots, a kebab, sick, bed at 5am, hangover all next day.

- When mates around 40 meet up, their idea of a good nights craic is meeting for a meal around 8pm, a few socialable pints or maybe a nice glass of wine with the meal, chatting about events mentioned above, chatting about the family, and heading off to bed for 1am, up early next day with little or no hangover.


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## Sue Ellen (10 Dec 2009)

Reached it a short number of years ago and I know Cav is too much of a gentleman to ask how many (more likely too afraid to ask ).  

Firm believer that as long as I have my health and sense of humour I don't give a damn what age I am.  If I could only get my hands on this fella I'm sure I'd feel even younger but sure you can't blame a girl for trying 

It can be quite frightening first thing in the morning when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror and while you still feel young inside you have to say to yourself 'who's that ol' one lookin' back at me'


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## ACA (10 Dec 2009)

+1 Sue Ellen.... (to yr 2nd paragraph!!) lol


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## truthseeker (11 Dec 2009)

Sue Ellen said:


> If I could only get my hands on this fella I'm sure I'd feel even younger but sure you can't blame a girl for trying


 

mmmmm......he is less than 2 years OLDER than me - wonder if Im in with a chance????


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## Graham_07 (11 Dec 2009)

Sue Ellen said:


> If I could only get my hands on this fella I'm sure I'd feel even younger but sure you can't blame a girl for trying


 
My daughter just got the entire boxed set of ER from Amazon, I could persuade her to lend it to you if you want to spend a weekend with him Sue Ellen 



Sue Ellen said:


> It can be quite frightening first thing in the morning when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror and while you still feel young inside you have to say to yourself 'who's that ol' one lookin' back at me'


 
I pasted a 3' x 2' of this fella on the bathroom mirror, really makes you feel good when you look into it first thing on a morning .


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## sam h (11 Dec 2009)

shopgirl said:


> Age is irrelevant, it's all about attitude. I know some people in their early 20s and they are so negative about life and I know someone who is 91 and there aren't enough hours in the day for her to do all the things she wants to do. Don't think in terms of age just focus on having a positive attitude.


 

This reminds me someone talking about her 90yr old Mother in Law and a trip she had going to the library.  I suggested she could avail of the mobile library who would come out with some books to her & save the trip.  To which I was informed she was actually going to the library to give a class on art appriciation!!  

Apparently she also does meals on wheels - she delivers them out to the "old folk"


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## JP1234 (11 Dec 2009)

I don't feel my age at all...in my early 40's - except when I realise the people around me are getting older, my cousin who I used to babysit is now married with kids, my brother is nearly 50, I have an adult nephew...and most of all the fact I have a 16 year old son while I can well remember being 16 like it was last week, those are my  moments.


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## liaconn (11 Dec 2009)

I find myself looking at teenagers and people in their early twenties and thinking 'are they mad!! They'll get pneumonia going out like that!'   It seems like no time since my mother couldn't understand why buttoning up your school gaberdine on a freezing cold day just wasn't cool!


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## truthseeker (11 Dec 2009)

liaconn said:


> I find myself looking at teenagers and people in their early twenties and thinking 'are they mad!! They'll get pneumonia going out like that!' It seems like no time since my mother couldn't understand why buttoning up your school gaberdine on a freezing cold day just wasn't cool!


 
LOL!!
My head was cold in bed the other night and I put on a ski type hat, one that come down over the ears. My (new) husband took one look and said 'oh my god, my beautiful young bride has turned into Old Auntie Bessie in her Sleep Bonnet' 

But my head was cold!!


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## Caveat (11 Dec 2009)

Interesting and funny replies.

We don't have kids and won't be having any and I guess that might make a big difference to our attitude/outlook. 



> - When mates around 25/30 all meet up their idea of a good nights craic is getting mangled on an all-day session, off to a nightclub, shots, more shots, a kebab, sick, bed at 5am, hangover all next day.
> 
> - When mates around 40 meet up, their idea of a good nights craic is meeting for a meal around 8pm, a few socialable pints or maybe a nice glass of wine with the meal, chatting about events mentioned above, chatting about the family, and heading off to bed for 1am, up early next day with little or no hangover.


 
This is roughly where we are now - I say 'roughly' in that the hangovers still surface the odd time (strangely enough they coincide with the odd 'later than 1am' night too )

There are some things I hope will change a little as I get older, some things I hope won't and some things I don't really care either way about I suppose.


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## johnd (11 Dec 2009)

I'm 45 and If I had my time again I'd change everything! I hear so many people older than me saying 'I wouldn't change a thing' well I would! I would change everything. That song My Way does my head in - the line 'Regrets? - I've had a few' a few? My life is one long regret ..


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## thesimpsons (11 Dec 2009)

I'm nearer 50 than 40 and have no regrets other than I haven't won the lotto yet !!! At 20 an older colleague (only 30 but seemed ancient) warned me to enjoy life and don't turn around in 10 years time and say "oh god, I wish I'd done ......." I took the advice and enjoyed my life - not in the drink/drugs/wild life way but I travelled wide and far, took jobs cos I enjoyed them instead of for the money. Met a nice partner, got married, had kids and I'm still enjoying everything. The only time I really realise my age is when I look in the mirror in the morning. I took up cycling recently and can out-cycle alot of the younger ones. Used to always hate the expression "age is a frame of mind" but its so true. Your only old in your head - physically and mentally you can be as young as you want.


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## BillK (11 Dec 2009)

You young 'uns shouldn't worry at all about growing older as it beats the alternative!

I should point out out that I'm a lot closer to 70 than I am to 40 and still have fun, in that every day is a new experience. (Or is that just my bad memory?)


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## Sue Ellen (12 Dec 2009)

truthseeker said:


> mmmmm......he is less than 2 years OLDER than me - wonder if Im in with a chance????


 
Hands off I saw him first


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## MandaC (12 Dec 2009)

I turned 40 about 3 weeks ago.  I did something weird just coming up to it.  I was tired of moaning about being a fat frump, low energy, etc, so I went to UK and did a fitness retreat.  When I say it changed  my life, literally.  As well as getting my energy back,  this is going to sound kind of weird, but I got my mojo back.  

Since returning to work,  comments have ranged from, you are like a breath of fresh air around this place, to my boss remarking to someone else how much work I do.  That is from someone who is quite hard to please.  People have said, there is something different , but they could not place it.  Lady on reception, whom I dont know very well, actually asked could she speak to me for a moment.  I was like, oh, whats coming here and she just said, you are looking so fabulous lately, I just had to tell you!

Downside, went for an eye test because I was imagining road signs were funny and yes, I needed glasses, for work and driving,  like eyesight gave up at 40.  Paid a fortune for a pair of designer specs to match my red sporty car and lipstick.

I dont wear dresses, but for the first time ever bought one for the Christmas party the other night.  Bought something funky rather than revealling, want to make sure I dont look like mutton!  Best comment to me was from a guy, who was not chatting me up, but said, how the (bleep) is someone like you single!

It is all about outlook.  Agree about some people being 21 going on 70 and vice versa. I have always thought of Ronan Keating being an old man trapped in a young mans body when Boyzone first came out.  I am lucky in that I certainly dont look 40 and people think they have misheard when I say I am.  My Dad is 68 and if someone said he was 50 you would believe him.  

Another aside, I don't have kids, and a "friend" remarked about herself "god, I dont want to be 40 and not have another baby".  Have to say, That got to me a bit..  I dont have children because of the circumstances  and timings of my long term relationships, (2 relationships totalling 23 years) and that is a bit of a regret, though I am not going to dwell on it.

Hope this helps.

From a fab 40 year old.


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## Caveat (12 Dec 2009)

Well done Manda - good attitude!


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## LDFerguson (13 Dec 2009)

My 40th is 265 days away, not that I'm counting or anything.  I don't expect to feel any different the day after (except possibly a bit hung over) but I suppose it serves as a reminder to reflect on your life - where you've been, where you are and where you're going.  A bit like New Year's Eve only nobody tries to sing Auld Lang Syne but doesn't know more than one verse and the chorus.    

If such reflection leads you to the conclusion that there are aspects of your life that you're not happy about, then use the opportunity to work out how you can change them.  Look what MandaC achieved above.  She could have done this at any time, but if it took the occurrence of her 40th to spur her into action, then such landmark birthdays are definitely a good thing.  Congratulations MandaC!


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## levelpar (14 Dec 2009)

Sorry but life does not begin at 40 nor is 60 the new 50. These are things that people say to make you feel better.  

Life begins when you cough out your first breath and ends when you squeeze out your last one. Inbetween you take each day and live it as if there was never a calendar  in existence . Your date of birth is a number and maybe someone made a mistake when dating you birth. 

How you feel depends on yourself and not a date on paper. Consequently, try to keep yourself healthy and fit both in mind and body  and just take the gifts you get on your so-called birthday and get on with life


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## liaconn (14 Dec 2009)

I agree that the best approach to birthdays is to just think I'm a day older than I was yesterday instead of 'Oh my God, I'm FORTY and what have I done???' When you're fifty, forty will seem really young, when you're sixty, fifty will sound young. It's all just figures.


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## oldtimer (15 Dec 2009)

How am I supposed to feel as I approach 70. Sorry, must go, its almost seven o'clock, time for cocoa and bed.


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## lightswitch (15 Dec 2009)

MandaC said:


> I turned 40 about 3 weeks ago. I did something weird just coming up to it. I was tired of moaning about being a fat frump, low energy, etc, so I went to UK and did a fitness retreat. When I say it changed my life, literally. As well as getting my energy back, this is going to sound kind of weird, but I got my mojo back.
> 
> Since returning to work, comments have ranged from, you are like a breath of fresh air around this place, to my boss remarking to someone else how much work I do. That is from someone who is quite hard to please. People have said, there is something different , but they could not place it. Lady on reception, whom I dont know very well, actually asked could she speak to me for a moment. I was like, oh, whats coming here and she just said, you are looking so fabulous lately, I just had to tell you!
> 
> ...


 
Wel done MandaC. Could you post a link to that fitness retreat, I think I could do with some of what ever it is they provided over there


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## AlastairSC (22 Dec 2009)

I'm between 40 and 50 too. Still on the right side of the grass!


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## MOB (22 Dec 2009)

MandaC said:


> From a fab 40 year old.



I have to say, I've never met you and yet I find I am already scheming in my mind to find some way to fix you up with my unmarried brother.......


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## RMCF (22 Dec 2009)

I have recently taken ownership of my 1st baby, and all at 40+.

I'm an old dad and I wish I had done it 5 or 10 years ago, but another stage of my life is now beginning and I'm really looking forward to it.

Perhaps I will need the energy I had when I was 25, but I'm finding that my body is already beginning to learn to survive on 3hrs sleep every night.


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## Caveat (22 Dec 2009)

Well, they say you need less of it as you get older.

(double entendre intended)


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## ali (1 Jan 2010)

I turned 40 last June. I have found it really strange. 30 came and went without a blip so I wasn't expecting any big shift in psyche. Like Manda C I don't look my age, I'm often told I look only in my 20's and people are really surprised I have children (I have 4 - the eldest will be 21 next month) so maybe that has coloured my attitude. 

The two issues I found are kind of contradictory: firstly I could be talking about someone and be asked, "How old are they?" and I'll reply : Oh they're no spring chicken, they're 40 odd.. It's like subconsciously I don't identify with them or that age group, - I just don't feel it applies to me! I have to occasionally remind myself that 40 odd is me now too.

The second is I think I spent all my life up to 40 looking forward and making plans. Sometimes too much so, e.g. if I just get through Christmas or - after the Summer I'll do such and such. Slightly wishing my life away as if everything was in the future and there was loads of time. All of a sudden out of the blue when I turned 40 I felt this is it. This is the future. There isn't endless time. Not in a particularly maudlin way, just like this is my life. It's not something that has yet to unfold.

If I haven't moved to a big pile in the country, or to a restoration project in France, then it probably won't happen now. It's like the choices have contracted. 

I suppose you could get depressed about it but I have a brilliant husband and great kids and a good life and in general I'm very happy. You just have to realise it's all about change and for me it's about starting to enjoy the present and let the future just happen.

A.


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## buzybee (5 Jan 2010)

I will be 40 in 2 yrs. I feel more settled and secure than I did when I was 30.  I feel less of a need to prove myself at work.  Got married 3 yrs ago and have a baby.  Even though I work full time I wouldnt rule out part time work in the future.  I care more about my personal life, family and hobbies these days and work is just somewhere to go to meet adults & get out of the house.  When I was 30 I was single and had a house.  I would stress about work and the need to earn X amount of money to keep the mortgage paid etc.

Also because of my relationship I feel less of a need to put loads of energy into friendships.  When I was 30 I would always be the one arranging meet ups with friends.  Some of these would never ring me but would meet when I rang them.  These days I meet up with friends from time to time. However if I am doing all the running, I gradually cut back on contacting them, and I let the friendship fizzle out.

The biggest change of all is that I rarely go for nights out or hols now because of baby.  I don't really care as I am happy just doing small things with OH and baby, and just going for the occasional night out.


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## Vanilla (6 Jan 2010)

MOB said:


> I have to say, I've never met you and yet I find I am already scheming in my mind to find some way to fix you up with my unmarried brother.......


 
That's hilarious- exactly what I was thinking! Have a lovely older brother, sadly very shy and therefore single, fortuitously loaded and if only...I'm from a large family and already have three great sisters in law and a sister and MandaC sounds like she'd fit right in to our bunch ( never mind the men).



RMCF said:


> I have recently taken ownership of my 1st baby, and all at 40+.
> 
> I'm an old dad and I wish I had done it 5 or 10 years ago, but another stage of my life is now beginning and I'm really looking forward to it.
> 
> Perhaps I will need the energy I had when I was 25, but I'm finding that my body is already beginning to learn to survive on 3hrs sleep every night.


 
There are great advantages to starting a family slightly late too- you may not have as much energy as in your twenties, but you will have more patience and a better grasp of the bigger picture. Children don't care what age their parents are ( at least not until the teen years and then that passes too). However, have to correct you on the ownership thing- wait until they're one year old, by then, they own you, not the other way around!


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## S.L.F (7 Jan 2010)

Lex Foutish said:


> I could offer you my accumulated wisdom


 
You could write that all down on one side of a matchbox...

I on the other hand have many years of accumulated knowledge of travel, craft skills, people skills, family skills, management skills the only one I lack is how to know what a woman is thinking.


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## Purple (7 Jan 2010)

S.L.F said:


> You could write that all down on one side of a matchbox...
> 
> I on the other hand have many years of accumulated knowledge of travel, craft skills, people skills, family skills, management skills the only one I lack is how to know what a woman is thinking.



Is it true that you are giving a talk on humility next week?


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## S.L.F (7 Jan 2010)

Purple said:


> Is it true that you are giving a talk on humility next week?


 
Yes, I didn't write it down because I didn't want everyone to think I was boasting but since you let the cat out of the bag well it's true I'm very humble too...


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## Sue Ellen (8 Jan 2010)

S.L.F said:


> only one I lack is how to know what a woman is thinking.



Pointless trying to figure it out


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## michaelm (8 Jan 2010)

Caveat said:


> can any posters attest to the accuracy of the saying 'life begins at 40'


Being a die-hard pro-lifer I have to say that life begins at fertilisation .  I think the saying about 40 being the new 30 is more apt today.  I very recently moseyed over the 40 line. To me, hitting 40 simply means that one has completed their 40th year and has started their 41st.





Caveat said:


> We don't have kids and won't be having any and I guess that might make a big difference to our attitude/outlook.


I'd say that makes a huge difference.  I've a geansaí-lode of kids and have zero interest in my age.





S.L.F said:


> the only one I lack is how to know what a woman is thinking.


Usually shopping .


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## onq (11 Jan 2010)

MandaC said:


> <snip>I dont have children because of the circumstances  and timings of my long term relationships, (2 relationships totalling 23 years) and that is a bit of a regret, though I am not going to dwell on it.



Sounds like you re-invented yourself in all these people's eyes - subtly.

I know one lady who had a child at 39 - its keeping her young - and busy.



ONQ.


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## Gordanus (17 Jan 2010)

How about this?

aarpmagazine.org/lifestyle/living_healthy_to_100.html


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## Chocks away (18 Jan 2010)

Very interesting story Gordanus.


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## Gordanus (20 Jan 2010)

MandaC said:


> From a fab 40 year old.



Hi Manda, that was a fab post!

Shame there's no Thanks button on this site!

From a single 50
(...although I do have a teenager - who keeps me up to date on the slang and the trends.)


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