# Separation Advice.



## Normal Bloke (22 Jan 2008)

Male age 45 married 18 years two boys 17 & 14 wife give up good job 16 years ago to rear kids she is willing to go back to work and has just started a Fas course. Balance owed on house 15k value 500k no other people involved just can’t get on. Male high earner with a lot saved willing to split everything 50/50 and pay for everything to do with the kids. Wife wants to go legal feels she will do better. Both living in house separate rooms male needs advice.


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## mf1 (22 Jan 2008)

*Re: Seperation Advice.*

Best advice - go to a good recommended solicitor. Ask them for a solid appraisal of the situation. On receipt of their advices, suggest mediation to wife - if will not do that, then, yes go legal. You cannot force a spouse to  agree to a settlement and only a Court can impose orders. 

No-one on this board can tell you what will happen in Court - only a good, family solicitor with a solid background in the area and a sensible approach  to separation can assist. 

mf


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## ClubMan (22 Jan 2008)

Anything useful here?

CitizensInformation - Separation and divorce

Is there no way that she will agree to a mutually agreed or mediated settlement? Seems odd given your willingness to go 50:50 although I'm not sure if a court might impose a different sort of ratio. Obviously going the legal route towards a contested settlement will just eat into the total available to split between the two of you due to legal expenses etc.

_Post crossed with mf1's._


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## Stifster (22 Jan 2008)

Is the male going to pay her maintenance while she is on the course or until she is earning a reasonable amount?

is 50% going to be enough to enable her house the kids for the next 10-15 years?


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## woddle (22 Jan 2008)

the only question I have for you is, are any of your kids in third level education or planning to, because she can stay in the house without having to sell till the youngest is 18 or until the youngest is (cant remember 21 or 23) if he is in third level education. I went the mediation route and got a solicitor to witness and stamp it, but was told if it went to court it would only be taken into consideration and our agreement would not have been final in the courts eyes, thankfully though we have reconcilled,mainly thanks to mediation and councelling, hope this helps


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## mathepac (22 Jan 2008)

woddle said:


> ... without having to sell till the youngest is 18 or until the youngest is (cant remember 21 or 23) if he is in third level education.



Usually 23 if in full-time education.


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## Normal Bloke (22 Jan 2008)

Does the same apply to a man i.e can he defer the sale of the family home if its the wife who wants to seperate?


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## Stifster (22 Jan 2008)

Normal Bloke said:


> Does the same apply to a man i.e can he defer the sale of the family home if its the wife who wants to seperate?



If you can agree to that then well and good, if no agreement can be reached then the courts have fairly wide powers to deal with the marital property.


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## Michelle (23 Jan 2008)

Do go to a solicitor. 

If 'a' stays in the house and 'b' moves out, if the house is sold in years to come 'b' could have a CGT liability depending on sale figure. 

Also think about pensions etc.


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## Normal Bloke (23 Jan 2008)

What is a CGT liability ?


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## truthseeker (23 Jan 2008)

Capital Gains Tax liability - why would 'b' have a CGT liability if only mother and kids lived in house?


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## Normal Bloke (23 Jan 2008)

Can a wife evict a man from his own house just because they have different views and opinions ?


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## Thirsty (23 Jan 2008)

Judge may not agree to a 50/50 split of the Family home equity as due provision has to be made for the children of the marriage.

If you get a mediated settlement and ideally a parenting plan, you can get a JS without a great deal of expense and heartache.

Family Mediation Services operate in Tallaght and in Dublin city Centre - there are other centres around the country also - a phone call to the main number should give you the information you need.  Both parties need to agree to attend.

You cannot apply for a Judicial Separation until you have been separated for 1 year; living apart at the same address can be included in that time frame.


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## Stifster (23 Jan 2008)

Normal Bloke said:


> Can a wife evict a man from his own house just because they have different views and opinions ?


 
Most of us would be out on a weekly basis if that was the case!

The only way the H (or of course the W) can be evicted from the home is by way of a barring order or an order in judicial separation/divorce proceedings.


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## Purple (23 Jan 2008)

Normal Bloke said:


> Can a wife evict a man from his own house just because they have different views and opinions ?


 If she gets the house as part of an agreement or judgement (as her PPR) during a separation then yes, she can. The man can evict the wife if he is awarded the house .

_Post crossed with Stifster_


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## Purple (23 Jan 2008)

Is [broken link removed] page from www.rollercoaster.ie of any use?
It seems to be a site aomed at women so I don't know how balanced the advice offered is.


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## mf1 (23 Jan 2008)

"the only question I have for you is, are any of your kids in third level education or planning to, because she can stay in the house without having to sell till the youngest is 18 or until the youngest is (cant remember 21 or 23) if he is in third level education."

Not true in all cases. It will make a great deal of sense in many cases to sell the family home now ( for instance) and get on with living. It is not by any means a foregone conclusion that anyone ever gets to stay in the family home. Each case on its individual merits.

Re: Evicting anyone. Its not a good description of what happens. If one or both people in a marriage want to separate and can either (a) agree or (b) need/want/prefer a Court to adjudicate then depending on what is agreed or adjudicated, provision will be made for  both which will involve for example  selling the family home and dividing the proceeds in the shares either agreed or ordered or (b) one person buying out the other or (c) deferring the sale of the property for a period of time with orders/agreement on maintenance. And either they can continue to stay in the property ( not a  great idea if separation is what they want) or they agree or are ordered to comply with an order e.g. leave the property on payment of an agreed sum. Where there is plenty of money and property, its rarely an issue. Where finances are tight, it is far more  difficult because one income rarely stretches to two households and there is generally a reduction in living standards for both. 

Statistically, mens living standards improve some years after separation whereas womens often don't. Perhaps more relevant at a time when women did not work outside the home. 

Each case on its own merits. 

mf


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## Michelle (24 Jan 2008)

truthseeker said:


> Capital Gains Tax liability - why would 'b' have a CGT liability if only mother and kids lived in house?



I think if the sale price is above the threshold and 'b' is not using the house as his principal private residence, there could be CGT implications for 'b' depending on the wording of the agreement/court order.


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## Normal Bloke (25 Jan 2008)

Thanks to all for the advice complexed issue might try hoovering again three times a day it looks easier.


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