# Court gives estranged husband permission to return to family home - house bills?



## burmo (8 Oct 2011)

Hi,

Another question on behalf of my friend:

Her estranged husband was given permission by the court to return to the family home where he hasn't been in a year and hasn't paid anything towards the mortgage in that time.

He was abusive towards her and the children, but a barring order was denied because these events were not this year. He's a very... difficult person, who is doing this on purpose to frustrate the situation and retalliate in response for her daring to seek and secure a maintenance order against him several months ago. His finanical situation is still viable by his own admission to the children. 

How can this possibly work? She has been living with the children in the house and all the bills are in her name. She intends to move out if he does return but I'm interested in general to hear about the legal rights / protection in this situation.

He currently refuses to deal with any bank communications regarding the mortgage and the court is not interested in helping her deal with this at all. So regarding the bills... heating, electricity, etc. He has the right to live there but who has the authority to make him contribute towards the bills when they are all in her name?

Cheers,
Burmo.


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## Sue Ellen (8 Oct 2011)

Would the following as recommended in this previous post be an option:

"If she has concerns for her/the children's safety, she need to apply to  the district (family) courts for protection/safety order but must have  sufficient reasons/evidence"


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## burmo (8 Oct 2011)

Hi Sue Ellen, thanks for your reply.

Yes, already tried a safety/barring order against him in the past few days but the judge didn't grant it... because the documented (police) evidence was not in 2011.

So, I'm curious about the general case regarding the financial sharing of bills in this situation. The husband who left and doesn't contribute towards his share of the mortgage gets free rein to reenter the house... so he can obviously use heat, electricity, etc. 

Assuming the woman in question does not wish to leave the house with her children, although she most likely will, what legal resource is left to her to demand half the bills, etc. from him considering she's had no success so far trying to secure payment of the mortgage from him.


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## Ryandd (8 Oct 2011)

HI - sorry to hear about your friend, if he has money has she tried looking for maintanence because if he is not contributing to the family may she can seek advice in to getting an order to pay maintanence, this would show up in court the bills she is paying and her salary and make sure she has all the statements showing she has been paying the mortgage.  Because although he left the family house he has not honoured the commitment to pay half his name is on the deeds.  A family law solicitor should confirm this to her, I wouldn't be 100%.


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## PaddyBloggit (8 Oct 2011)

If it was me I'd cancel all bills in my name and move out now.

Let him have the house, the mortgage and all associated costs if he's so anxious for them.

Just let the bank know now that the correspondence re. mortgage now goes to him.


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## burmo (8 Oct 2011)

Hi, that has been exactly my advice... That she should leave and leave him with all the trouble, and she intends to if he does come back.

She already got a maintenance order.

My question is... A judicial separation has started and at the end one person will be given the house. What is strange is that obviously this is a difficult situation for the family, that the court has allowed.  The question for me is what can be done about him coming into the house and refusing to contribute to the bills.


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## Thirsty (8 Oct 2011)

Move out, leave him to it & let him sort out the childcare as well; that'll soften his cough.


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## hastalavista (9 Oct 2011)

PaddyBloggit said:


> If it was me I'd cancel all bills in my name and move out now.
> 
> Let him have the house, the mortgage and all associated costs if he's so anxious for them.
> 
> Just let the bank know now that the correspondence re. mortgage now goes to him.


Just to add to this, note that cancellation is very different from transferring.
The utilities now seem to have a policy of not transferring unless they have the next signature whereas cancellation involves disconnection by the utility.

If the 'next' signature is not forthcoming here then cancellation is the only option to avoid the bills following the Op's pal


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## ClubMan (9 Oct 2011)

Thirsty said:


> Move out, leave him to it & let him sort out the childcare as well; that'll soften his cough.


Hardly a prudent course of action to abandon the kids to him if the allegations of being abusive (emotionally? verbally? physically? sexually?) are true?


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## Thirsty (9 Oct 2011)

1. IF

2. efforts at 'frustration' appear to be directed at spouse rather than children

3. Court would not have removed barring order if there was evidence to keep it in place.

4. Expecting a man to care for *his own children* is hardly abandoning them!

Move out & leave him to it.


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## xoxoxo (9 Oct 2011)

*The question for me is what can be done about him coming into the house and refusing to contribute to the bills*. Ans= nothing except seeking maintance for children and/or herself. If the jud separation has started then check with her solicitor to get interim maintenance from circuit court for her and the children as district court prob wont deal with it if jud sep has already started.. 

*What is strange is that obviously this is a difficult situation for the family, that the court has allowed. *Courts will just look at who owns the house and that both owners have a right to live in the home unless their is an order preventing one or other from doing so (barring order). Barring orders are not common and can only be granted if there is sufficient and recent evidence for the concern the safety/well-being of the other party and dependents.

*A judicial separation has started and at the end one person will be given the house. *Not the case! No hard and fast rules here as each case is different. 

Your friend could have a long battle on her hands Burmo.


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## burmo (9 Oct 2011)

Hi, thanks for all the replies.

I think he got a scare in court last week... he's been polite and offering for the first time to be cooperative in reaching an agreement - for the moment.

About the house... thanks for the replies, it's a tricky situation for anyone to be in.


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## Bronte (11 Oct 2011)

It is not up to the courts to decide on the mortgage at this stage.  Your friend can afford the mortgage and bills presently?  But she wants her husband to contribute.  Right now she cannnot force him.  She will have to proceed with the judicial separation.

If she does not wish to live in the same house as him then her choice is to leave.  He has done nothing wrong, (according to the courts, being difficult doesn't count) so if she cannot bear to live with him she should leave.  That will sort out the bills but not the mortgage.  They are both liable for this, but if he cannot afford or will not pay it then she had better pay it until the separation is finalised.  It appears the marriage has irretrivably broken down and one party or the other is being thick, not sure who, but it takes two.  Can she in the interest of the children stay in the house and just pay the bills until the separation.   Everybody needs to get real, lawyers and courts cost money, wasted money in these straightened times, try and understand that two incomes into one household invariable does not add up into two incomes and two households.  Custody should not be automatically assumed by the lady  in question.  Above all think of the children and what is best for them.


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## burmo (15 Oct 2011)

Hi Bronte,

No she can't afford the mortgage on her own, she can cover about half of it. He refuses to pay since last year and refuses to deal with the bank or respond to their communications in any way. 

If she leaves the house with the children, does this weaken her position for claiming the house in the judicial separation? The father doesn't want custody of the children... it would impinge on his lifestyle having to be responsible for them. 

So, it sounds like he can just arrive on the door... come in and put his feet up on the table, turn on the heat and open the windows and pay nothing towards the bills in her name. Especially since there is a maintenance order in place already. Correct?

I don't think that living together would be possible... she would crack up, she's already been through a difficult year dealing with him from afar after many years of living with him before that.

Question... what happens if she gives up on the house similiar to what he did for the past year? He moves in, she gives up on the house and rents, and he wants to sell the house. Are the courts likely to give a bank a judgement towards her for the negative equity where they garnish her wages if she's just about able to rent and support the children? Would the bank wipe off the ~40k of negative equity (total) and leave it at that?


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## Thirsty (16 Oct 2011)

> it would impinge on his lifestyle having to be responsible for them.


Exactly, so leave him to it; he'll smarten up very quickly.


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