# Leaving job after 5 years and MD not happy



## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

Hi All,

Had such a terrible morning. I should be happy going on a weeks holidays tomorrow!! .

Anyway, I handed in my notice at work last week after 5 years here and it's been tough, I want to stay at home with the kids and start up my own accounting service from home.
So, this morning the MD, who has not been the nicest boss, terrible moody and totally against family friendly work places- one of the many reasons I am leaving.
Thing is, after 5 years, he started shouting at me this morning about my parental leave I have taken this year- 19 days and I am not worth what he pays me and I am crap at my job etc. I am in tears. He has nearly lost massive clients over the years only for me sorting it all out. I am very good at my job, always have been, the place I left for here begged me to stay and now I realise I should have.

Thing is he said things like he pays me too much for what I do (am Accounts Manager-have no assistance & I do reception etc aswell), that my children come before my job (of course they do). I am so upset and he said it would be wiser if I need a reference not to ask him.

So, what can I do, in tears, cannot believe this after all I do in here. I am leaving mid- Sept and just cannot wait. 

I dont' want to let him away with all the nasty things he said to me, so what should I do. I am so mad at myself for crying, it's just what he wanted.


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## ClubMan (15 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> Thing is, after 5 years, he started shouting at me this morning about my parental leave I have taken this year- 19 days and I am not worth what he pays me and I am crap at my job etc. I am in tears. He has nearly lost massive clients over the years only for me sorting it all out. I am very good at my job, always have been, the place I left for here begged me to stay and now I realise I should have.
> 
> Thing is he said things like he pays me too much for what I do (am Accounts Manager-have no assistance & I do reception etc aswell), that my children come before my job (of course they do). I am so upset


Sounds like he has a problem himself if he cannot deal professionally with this turn of events.


> and he said it would be wiser if I need a reference not to ask him.


 Does this matter if you are setting up your own business?


> So, what can I do, in tears, cannot believe this after all I do in here. I am leaving mid- Sept and just cannot wait.


 Do about what? Work your time out and don't put up with any bullying. What else is there to be done?

Enjoy your holidays and forget about it. Sounds like you are probably better off out of that place if that's a flavour of how the employer/boss deals with things.


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## pc7 (15 Aug 2007)

come back from your hoildays and go sick until you leave, feck him! especially if you are going out on your own


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## nelly (15 Aug 2007)

It certainly sounds like you were shocked by his behaviour and the content of his barrage of abuse. And any normal person would be too!! he cannot manage people it seems or himself for that matter and this is his problem not yours. You shoudl be delighted that you are leaving this environment. you can only look forward and not backward. Smile every time you meet him until you walk out the door - drive him wild altogether!


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## Ceist Beag (15 Aug 2007)

At this stage I personally would walk out the door citing emotional stress or some such excuse and not spend another minute in the place - life is too short.


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

Ceist Beag said:


> At this stage I personally would walk out the door citing emotional stress or some such excuse and not spend another minute in the place - life is too short.


 
Just off the phone to my husband about it and 2 of the guys that work upstairs heard the whole thing and took me out for walk, they are disgusted but not surprised. They even said to me not to come back after my holidays, just go sick. There are 2 people coming in here this afternoon for interview for my job and I am going to offer it to both of them regardless and who comes back first with the earliest start date can have this place!.

Clubman- I might need a reference as new clients might want to talk to previous employers about me etc and I really thought he would at least do me right that way!.

thanks for the replies, it's a horrible feeling being upset like this. I have walked out of here more than once over the years after certain episodes of verbal bullying from him. The only reason I stayed so long was to get my mortgage to buy my house which I have now and I can give my own business a shot aswell as being there for my kids!


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## terrysgirl33 (15 Aug 2007)

He sounds completely mad, not to mention unprofessional!


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

terrysgirl33 said:


> He sounds completely mad, not to mention unprofessional!


 
He is!. He doesn't like female employess who get pregnant or have kids who might need to change their hours due to childcare. I changed mine from 9-5.30 to 10-6.30 last Sept when my son started school and he never shut up about how "flexible" he is to facilitate me. Thing is, there was not other choice for him or I was walking out the door!.
Oh I am so sick of him, he is a nasty selfish person and believes everyone is out to "do" him etc, even the staff who are loyal and here years. One of the girls let it out she was trying for a baby, big mistake he found out, he has been making her life hell. Last year, someone who had twins ended up leaving coz she worked 8-4.30 and she was made feel terrible about it and she was so stressed and upset she needed to get out of here!.
Imagine there are still people like him around!!. When I was pregnant on my 2nd I shut him up very fast by asking him how he got here and where his kids came from, he never said a word to me again!


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## Firefly (15 Aug 2007)

I wouldn't worry about him for a reference if you're going to work for yourself. Just say you worked there...are people really going to ring him up and check anyway. Once you have a few clients they'll be your best reference. 

I'd "go on the sick" & feck him.


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## pinkyBear (15 Aug 2007)

You know headachecity, I think if you play coyly this could all work out to your advantage, I wouldn't go sick. Not until I had a full list of his client names that you could potentially bring to your business...!


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## moondance (15 Aug 2007)

Could you not give clients you have dealt with as a reference instead of your boss?


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## susie1 (15 Aug 2007)

approach him and say if his attitude doesn't change you will have to go sick due to stress in the work env and that it would really leave him in the crapper.


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## cruchan09 (15 Aug 2007)

Friend of mine had a similar problem. On the day she left she went through the companys contacts database and changed two digits / letters in every contact phone number and e-mail address. Of course I'm not suggesting you do this, just relating what a friend did.


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## z109 (15 Aug 2007)

Headachecity, I would get references from colleagues who are doing the sort of work you will be doing privately, as these may bear more weight than a generalised "worked here, no specific issues" reference that employers tend to give out.


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

Oh I know I should just get a cert and run out of here. I'm too soft lending my services until someone else can start, but I have to collect my son from school in Wicklow so I won't be here all day.
I went for a walk and had a nice coffee and calmed down, you know what, when he came back from lunch I really wanted to call him that W word and burst out laughing and just walk out.
We have clients who are very fond of me and have already told me they are interested in placing their accounts and payroll services with me, so that's great. 
I had a diary of work to do today before I go, but after his outburst I just cannot be bothered really. I was only doing it to be nice and be ahead of things so all that has to be done in my absence is opening the post!.


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## Bob the slob (15 Aug 2007)

Headachecity, that is bullying.  No other word for it.  While its great that you are getting away from him, I certainly would not let him away with it.  I dont mean be nasty or anything but before you leave you should go into his office and tell him exactly how you feel.  Tell him that everyone knows that he is a bully etc and then tell him that it is constructive dismissal and you will be pursuing this further thourh your solicitor.  Maybe you wont but he isnt to know that, he deserves to sweat it out for a while.

You could just turn your back on it but he'll prob just keep on doing it.  He really needs to be told that he's a p***k in the nicest way possible.

Happy holidays tho!


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## pc7 (15 Aug 2007)

or you could really stand tough on it and take him to court over harrassment and sue him! you have witnesses from today


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

Bob, he has been threatening with constructive dismissal once before by someone which was never followed through and he laughed about that. He thinks any employee trying that is stupid and won't get anywhere. The previous employee was talking to a solicitor but nobody would go as a witness and I said I would say what I saw but others were too afraid and started to lie.
As long as that goes on he won't change. Someone just came in for interview, lovely lady and feel so bad pretending it's an okay job in front of him and her life becoming stressed like mine!. The agency will be onto me for feedback now and I don't want to feed someone to the lions so to speak.


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## demoivre (15 Aug 2007)

This guy sounds like an idiot all right but as _the slob_ says it's bullying, [broken link removed]. Have non of it imo.


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## pc7 (15 Aug 2007)

the only way to deal with bullies is stand up to them, until someone makes a firm stand it will continue. maybe the new employee wont take it, firm believer in what goes around comes around. Have a few problems with characters like this a few years back, finally bit the bullet and stood up to them, i've never seen anyone back down so fast.  Hard believe but it works, so does leaving harrassment leaflets around the place. You've to spend 40 hours a week in worth no point being miserable. Thats just my feeling on it.  You won't know yourself when your out of there and will look back thinking how did you stick it!!


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## ninsaga (15 Aug 2007)

Ok Headachecity - let me put it to you this way......... what would give you the most satisfaction at this stage ie......
- humiliating him - like a dressing down in public (lowering yourself to his 'standard')
- leaving the place now, do nothing else & having him to deal with it (you'll have to learn to let go of your gripe in time)
- take the harrassment route (a formal way of showing that behaviour such as that is not tolerable)

.... you have options here


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

I don't want to lower myself to his standards but I pretty much know what I am going to do. Had a good think about it.
I am going on holidays tomorrow and won't be back. When we get back next week I am going to the GP for a sick cert stating stress related to work. I am actually clearing my desk on the sly at the moment and doing a cheque run and did the wages in advance and forwarded the date on BOL to cover the rest of them in here for a month anyway.
Tidied up the whole place, there is a document on the server on how to do my job that I did when I went on maternity leave so he can have that.
I have had enough, all day now ignoring me and this slamming crap can't take it!.
Thanks for everything and please don't think I am stupid or a walk over, far from it, it's just him, his manner and attitude that I cannot cope with.


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## ACA (15 Aug 2007)

I can't believe that you are interviewing and ultimately hiring your replacement.....would be nice to leave him with a complete air-head who hasn't got a clue!


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

Now now dear, do you really think I am going to hire the best person. I intend on hiring a complete air head who doesn't know a debit from a credit and see how he likes that!. Then again, that's mean but I will make sure the person is a bit of a bowsy aswell and can give it right back to him!


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## ACA (15 Aug 2007)

You go girl!


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## Headachecity (15 Aug 2007)

ACA said:


> You go girl!


 
Oh I certainly will, just interviewed someone that I think was either really nervous nomatter how much I tried to calm them or else the person was on helium or something!. I could hire that person, then again I think the candidate in question would have a panic attack if he goes on a rant! 

Looks like the haven't got a clue person is getting a job offer in the morning!!! .


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## Bob the slob (15 Aug 2007)

Headachecity, please stand up to him! Even send everyone a collective email him included stating your real reasons for leaving. See how he likes that. I dont think you are a walk over but I hate to see people get away with such like that. Bullys annoy the s**t outta me.


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## dodo (15 Aug 2007)

2  sides to every story, I would like to hear here side of the story, you said you took 19 days of for parental leave, where you paid for this ? so with these 19 days plus your due holidays around 4-5 weeks, so maybe 2 months off not bad ,same as a primary school teacher nearly, If it was that bad you would not have stayed  5 year's or would you.


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## Joe1234 (15 Aug 2007)

dodo said:


> you took 19 days of for parental leave, where you paid for this ?



Parental leave is not paid.  It is a right that every parent can take off (unpaid), so many weeks before each child reaches a certain age.


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## Joe1234 (15 Aug 2007)

dodo said:


> If it was that bad you would not have stayed  5 year's or would you.



The OP has already said why she stayed 5 years in the job.


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## ClubMan (15 Aug 2007)

I've removed several off topic bickering posts so can people please keep things on topic.


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## ClubMan (15 Aug 2007)

Joe1234 said:


> Parental leave is not paid.  It is a right that every parent can take off (unpaid), so many weeks before each child reaches a certain age.


Yeah - statutory entitlement so nothing untoward about an employee availing of her right in this context _dodo_.

*Parental leave *


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## aircobra19 (16 Aug 2007)

You can't justify bad/unprofessional behaviour like this. If the employer wasn't happy they wouldn't have keep the employee on for 5 yrs.


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## TreeTiger (16 Aug 2007)

Bob the slob said:


> Headachecity, please stand up to him! Even send everyone a collective email him included stating your real reasons for leaving. See how he likes that. I dont think you are a walk over but I hate to see people get away with such like that. Bullys annoy the s**t outta me.



Sending a "collective email" could leave you open to all sorts of grief, the short term satisfaction could wear off very quickly.  This pillock certainly doesn't deserve any loyalty from you whatsoever. I wonder why you feel the need to choose anyone to replace you in your position. This guy doesn't deserve that much looking after.

If you leave and say nothing, you may well feel frustrated in years to come that you walked away without saying something to cause a bit of change. Perhaps you might consider saying politely to your about to be ex-employer something like "I haven't been able to find a suitable replacement, as I feel that this is a hostile work environment. You may not realise it but when you say things like - ... - an employee feels undermined/undervalued/insulted or whatever. I'm sure you don't mean to make people feel this way intentionally, but I believe that is what is happening. And if you are unable to improve your relations with certain staff, people will be made unhappy. Could you tell me why I should encourage someone to subject themselves to this? Especially when you have guaranteed me no reference?"

Sorry to be so long winded. You're at a difficult stage with work and children (voice of experience) and I feel for you big time. You could walk away and say nothing, but in the long term I think it would be good for you to politely point out a few things in a way that shows you are not saying them for personal gain.  If you leave without saying anything at all, you may always be kicking yourself.  Good luck anyhow, no human being should be treated like this because their boss is an a/hole.


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## Thrifty (16 Aug 2007)

Do you have a health and Safety officer in the office? I recently took on this role and looked up the legislation in relation to it. i've printed off an article on 'Dignity in the workplace' and would be inclined to use this if i felt a another employee was having difficulties. Perhaps your Health and Safety officer could leave a copy of it on his desk. might make him a little more aware of his responsibilities.


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## sham_bo (16 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> I don't want to lower myself to his standards but I pretty much know what I am going to do. Had a good think about it.
> I am going on holidays tomorrow and won't be back. When we get back next week I am going to the GP for a sick cert stating stress related to work. I am actually clearing my desk on the sly at the moment and doing a cheque run and did the wages in advance and forwarded the date on BOL to cover the rest of them in here for a month anyway.
> Tidied up the whole place, there is a document on the server on how to do my job that I did when I went on maternity leave so he can have that.
> I have had enough, all day now ignoring me and this slamming crap can't take it!.
> Thanks for everything and please don't think I am stupid or a walk over, far from it, it's just him, his manner and attitude that I cannot cope with.


 
whilst sympathising with your situation, and knowing from experience what it's like to work with/for difficult people, i have one reservation about your plan.....

you said you're going to go on hols and then get a sick cert afterwards for stress.  Maybe i'm being cynical, but this pre-meditated intention to be 'stressed' kind of annoys me a bit.  OK, you've had and are having a rough time of it at work, but do you not think you'll feel better or more philosophical about it after you've had a break?  If so, then the idea of deciding you're going to be 'stressed' in a few weeks time, for me somewhat devalues work-related stress and it could be a case that down the line your doctor could refuse to sign a cert for somebody who is really at their wits end as he/she might be unable to differentiate between somebody who is totally stressed out and somebody who has perhaps another agenda.
Please don't take this as a personal attack (I don't know you from adam), but i read this thread yesterday, was thinking about it last night and just felt i had to air my views.


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## buzybee (16 Aug 2007)

I am sorry you are having such a rough time at work.  However, when you threatened to leave before, you should  have just left work.  You should not have accepted the boss's counter offer of more flexible working hours.  The real problem i.e. his rudeness has not been solved.

If you are the only person in accounts, I can imagine it must be hard to keep all the work up to date and take your 19 days parental leave.  You are entitled to this, but small firms don't really have the cover to facilitate the full family friendly workplace.  I can understand your boss being annoyed at people looking for flexitime & taking maternity & parental leave.  Even though everyone with children is entitled to all these concessions, it does lean on the side of the employee and the law does not take note of the employer needing extra cover while key people are on their leave.

As soon as you discovered your boss's attitudes towards families, you should have started looking for another job (pref. in a large organisation) which has the facilities to cope with additional leave/flexitime.  

Your boss tends to want to 'have his cake and eat it'.  His attitude suggests that he wanted an experienced person for the job, but didn't want the hassle of employees having a family & a life outside of work.  

You said you are interviewing candidates for the position.  If you chose a single candidate who is very assertive, they could suit the organisation & the manager better. Or else you could choose a candidate that does not have work at the moment.  At least they are not leaving another job for this job.  Please do not choose the nervous candidate, as this candidate may have a breakdown & may not be able to cope with your boss.  I know you do not care about your boss (and rightly so) but think of the nervous candidate.  What goes round comes round, and it is unfair to take a nervous candidate out of a job if they are completely unsuitable.


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## Shaz (17 Aug 2007)

A question please... if you leave a company on bad terms, can you still get a reference from them or can they legally refuse? What can they say or cannot say on a reference?
Thanks.


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## TheBlock (17 Aug 2007)

buzybee said:


> I am sorry you are having such a rough time at work. However, when you threatened to leave before, you should have just left work. You should not have accepted the boss's counter offer of more flexible working hours. The real problem i.e. his rudeness has not been solved.
> 
> If you are the only person in accounts, I can imagine it must be hard to keep all the work up to date and take your 19 days parental leave. You are entitled to this, but small firms don't really have the cover to facilitate the full family friendly workplace. I can understand your boss being annoyed at people looking for flexitime & taking maternity & parental leave. Even though everyone with children is entitled to all these concessions, it does lean on the side of the employee and the law does not take note of the employer needing extra cover while key people are on their leave.
> 
> ...


 
Completley agree with everything said above. Do not use someone else as a pawn in this nobody deserves that.


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## MandaC (17 Aug 2007)

As someone who was stuck in a horrible job and could not leave - I do not think it s fair to land someone else in the horrible position you are now about to get out of.

About five and a half years ago, I moved jobs to the most horrible, awful job in the world. The Director there had started off with the partners when there was just two of them and her as the Secretary, and she had built herself up from there. She was incompetent at her job, and a downright bully (to cover up I suppose) and hated the fact that I was good at my job and liked by the others, who hated her with a vengence. Everybody knew what she was like, but no one would complain, as she was there first. I had just seperated from my partner, bought a house on my own and could not afford to be one day without pay as I was financially pinned to the wall. 

I lasted three long months and started looking for something else, which took me another three months. It was the longest six months of my life. It was the one time where I would love to tell somebody to shove their job where the sun dont shine, but I just couldnt. If I ever have the fortune to meet her again now, I am going to tell her exactly what I think of her. 

I would be a very strong person, and I found the situation got me down, so I could imagine how a nervous/quieter person would deal with it.

Dont do it. Knowing that the job is that bad, I just could not sit there and interview someone, when you really want to tell them to get the hell out of there, for their own sake.


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## Gabriel (17 Aug 2007)

My advice is short and sweet.

Get over it. He's the MD. You'll bring a whole world of pain on yourself trying to make a big issue out of it.

Either...

a) Go sick
or 
b) Bide your time...be pleasant...leave in 5 weeks.

If you decide to do anything else you're being silly...I know bullying is nasty and all the rest but you're leaving. Ask yourself do you really need the stress that  making an issue of this will bring?


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## RainyDay (18 Aug 2007)

What exactly did he say about your parental leave?


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## Headachecity (28 Aug 2007)

Got back from hols last week so only getting online now and yes I came back to see out my last few days and train in the new person and I hired the person who I feel is most suited to this place and has no family commitments. The nicest person who came in had kids, as soon as she mentioned that he nearly had a freaker, poor girl ran out of the place.


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## nelly (28 Aug 2007)

fair play to you. only one thing to do now, tie up the loose ends- be professional to the last and enjoy walking out that door


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## Headachecity (28 Aug 2007)

I have feck all to do to be honest, the week before I went on holidays I went through everything. The place it totally clean, suppliers paid up until mid-Sept, credit control up to date, salaries done, journals posted, filing perfect so it's grand. Just have to show her so much it's tough on her, coz when I walk out that door that's it, even getting a new simcard for my mobile. I want a complete break.
Sure my own mother knew I would come in regardless of what was happening as it's just not like me to not bother. I am out of here on Friday and I have already said no to a goodbye lunch as it's all too false for me and I have nothing to say but Adios a/hole!!.
New lady talks too much, she is 10 years older than me so she is going to be grand here. It's weird training someone older than me and advising her, I feel strange about that!!. 
At least I know I did my job and got on well with clients etc, he can say what he likes and be horrible but he can be miserable for the rest of his life because he is too mean and nasty to smile, at least I will be at home with my kids, happy out and starting my own business and enjoying that. I still hate him though, it's just that he can't start on me with new lady here coz I told him if he does she will legg it.


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## BlueSpud (28 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> I still hate him though, it's just that he can't start on me with new lady here coz I told him if he does she will legg it.


 

You are not being smart here. You should try & set him off so the new lass will leave.


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## amtc (28 Aug 2007)

It's awful in these cases that you have to make a choice between what is legally (and morally) an option (i.e. the harassment and bullying complaint) and what is best for you and your career. A friend of mine had a valid (IMHO) complaint about his boss but was discreetly told that the industry he works in is very small and word would get around of him being seen as 'overly sensitive'. 

In this case as he's the MD I don't see what satisfaction you would get from pursuing any complaint formally. Ireland's too small and people do talk. Not morally right or fair. I'd simply continue to be as professional as you can be.


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## Headachecity (29 Aug 2007)

BlueSpud said:


> You are not being smart here. You should try & set him off so the new lass will leave.


 
If the new one leaves then that means he will hassle me to stay on till he gets someone else and after this Friday I can't coz it's my officila leaving date and the kids last day in the creche!.

I won't be pursuing a complaint as I am fully aware of the stupid attitute towards it in this little Island of ours, word gets around and you are either a trouble maker or hyper sensitive. I can only hope one day he lets off at the wrong person who is well able for him.

I can't wait to be at home with the kids and the challenge of starting up my own business is even better, so far so good have got 3 clients on board and I just really want 1 or 2 more so I can give them 100% and not go in over my head because I still have the kids, house, fish and dog to look after!!.


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## moondance (29 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> If the new one leaves then that means he will hassle me to stay on till he gets someone else and after this Friday I can't coz it's my officila leaving date and the kids last day in the creche!.



So what, just say no. It would be great leaving him to get it all sorted!


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## Headachecity (29 Aug 2007)

I know he would not have a CLUE what to do!!!. I am getting a new sim card for my mobile on Friday and I told him I don't have a land line or internet access so I am well shot of this place after Friday!


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## buzybee (29 Aug 2007)

So what if your manager asks you to stay on.  You have some new clients & can manage well without him.  Just say no.  Tell him you are sticking to your agreement, leaving Fri and thats it!!!!

You probably have been too reliable in the past, & perhaps this is why your manager has taken advantage of you (insulting behaviour etc). He probably thinks you are 'dying for' your job, and that you are half sorry to leave.

I have seen it first hand & with others:  the more you do for employers, the more likely they are to 'take you for granted', 'think they can say what they like to you'.  I know it is unfair & a sad fact, but the more cheeky you are and the more you project an attitude of 'don't care' and 'you are doing them a favour', the better you are treated by employers.

Best of luck in the new venture.  It really sounds like you are better off out of there.

Don't worry about the new lady. As she is 10 yrs older than you, and may be used to moving jobs, she may be used to dealing with obnoxious types.  She could be stern & 'a tough cookie' and your manager may not get away with his behaviour to her.


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## Headachecity (29 Aug 2007)

Buzybee, you have it totally right. I have been an idiot, the stress of this place to ensure I was here all the time aswell as juggling the motherhood part aswell had been so hard as he really does not understand. he often shouted at me that my kids come first before this place, like hello of course they do.
It's just when I see friends of mine who don't have any of this crap in their jobs, they are allowed take parental leave when they need it and get flexible hours and don't feel like they need to bow down in thanks for it.

I am so sad that I wasted such a long time here but we were trying so hard to buy a house and get our mortgage so I had to stay in a permanent job until we got it all sorted out!!


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## dam099 (29 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> I hired the person who I feel is most suited to this place and has no family commitments. The nicest person who came in had kids, as soon as she mentioned that he nearly had a freaker, poor girl ran out of the place.


 
As you have worded it that sounds like a fairly clear cut case of discrimination to be honest, she would have a chance at a case against him.


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## Headachecity (30 Aug 2007)

He will always behave like that towards women, he is a pig. He once said to me he wished he had hired all men. At the time there was only myself and 2 other girls working here, now there is just me and one other and he should have an all male staff here.


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## TreeTiger (30 Aug 2007)

Did you read today's Indo about the mum who got €25,000 for the abuse she received from her boss at Avant Shipping in Santry? She was told she was "nothing but a "floozie and a stay-at-home mother". At only 21 years of age I doubt she was suffering this abuse for as long as the OP, but I think she deserves every penny.

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity, wonder what management at Avant Shipping think!


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## Headachecity (30 Aug 2007)

that's great, fair played to her. I'm 30, working here since I was 25 so I think I have put up with alot more. Since we moved out of the dublin suburbs to Co. Wicklow earlier this year, according to him I have gone awful stupid and slow....just another one of his lovely remarks. I haven't changed much since I was 21 really barr having a family!.
She must have had an excellent solicitor and good fellow employees who went as witnesses for her!. I would not have any back up, they would rather look after themselves in here!


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## Martinslan (30 Aug 2007)

Headachecity, I have being reading this thread since it started and to be honest I will miss it when you leave this dark person you work for, in mid Sept.  You have a plan which is solid and based on your very clear goals of family first. You "know" how small Ireland is and you know that you can "put up" with your MD's mood and attitudes for your remaining time. After that, it is all before you and from what you have written the way ahead, it sounds great. Stay focused on ending this part of your career with the dignity you have shown up to now and for the last 5 year and then with a heart and a half, dust off any connection with this MD, mind and have fun with the children as they grow up and develop your own business to another success.


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## Headachecity (30 Aug 2007)

Martin, thanks for that!. I was just about to post a big thank you to everyone who has supported me on this thread as it's made my days alot easier to deal with at the moment, instead of getting upset I smile at him which is really messing with his head at the moment and I keep using the word "lovely". He probably thinks I'm smoking too much "turf" down the "bog" where I live!. I have to look at it comically or I will go insane.
The worst part is knowing you are good at your job and always did your best and being treated like an idiot or as a person who is lower in the social circle than certain people!!. 
I really think this new lady will be okay though, it's what she wants, she licks his ass and he is loving it while I turn green. Yuk!!.


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## Art (31 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> She must have had an excellent solicitor and good fellow employees who went as witnesses for her!.


 
No she was the only witness


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## jrewing (31 Aug 2007)

Headachecity said:


> Martin, thanks for that!. I was just about to post a big thank you to everyone who has supported me on this thread as it's made my days alot easier to deal with at the moment, instead of getting upset I smile at him which is really messing with his head at the moment and I keep using the word "lovely". He probably thinks I'm smoking too much "turf" down the "bog" where I live!. I have to look at it comically or I will go insane.
> The worst part is knowing you are good at your job and always did your best and being treated like an idiot or as a person who is lower in the social circle than certain people!!.
> I really think this new lady will be okay though, it's what she wants, she licks his ass and he is loving it while I turn green. Yuk!!.


 
Best of luck HeadacheCity! You deserve a break after putting up with him for that long!


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## steph1 (31 Aug 2007)

> I really think this new lady will be okay though, it's what she wants, she licks his ass and he is loving it while I turn green. Yuk!!.




Well good luck to her!  Its her problem now.

Best of luck with your new business forget about whats past and look forward now


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## buzybee (3 Sep 2007)

The new lady will be ok, because she will have to be ok.  You mentioned that she has no children.  If she has no partner either, she will have to keep working or she will lose her house!  

I have worked in companies like this before, and bullying or no bullying, I had to stay until I got another job.  The unemployment benefit isn't really enough to keep a full household going, covering bills & mortgage. This is one instance where you pray for good health.  My company didn't pay sick leave, so I would have been in trouble if I was off sick for a few weeks with flu/pneumonia.

The new lady may be a different personality to you, and may just click with the manager.  Also your manager may have been jealous of you, as you had a full life outside of work.  He may have resented the fact that you didn't 'have' to go to work (even though the money comes in handy with a family). E.g. if you were let go in the morning, you would still be kept busy with your family, whereas a single person would need another job (to have something to get up for) IYKWIM.

Best wishes

B.


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## Scotsgirl (3 Sep 2007)

Hi Headachecity,

I worked at a company for 10 years that had a small management team that sounds exactly the same. Bullying most of the staff. I am a single mother of a now 19 year old, but when I was pregnant they made my life hell, picking holes in my work all the time. They couldn't find any faults to fire me on so the strategy was to make me so miserable I would leave of my own accord. I stuck it out and toughened up to their ways. I managed to stick it out for another few years as there wasn't many jobs around then.

When eventually I handed in my notice they tried to bully me into staying longer but I stuck to my guns on my leaving date, and left to go temping which paid me an awful lot more!!

I had to bite my tongue when I left not to say exactly what I thought of the management team, as I didn't want to lower myself to their level. 

I honestly believe the best revenge is to leave, succeed well in whatever you do in the future and never look back.


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## Bob the slob (5 Sep 2007)

Yeah headachecity, best of luck for the future!!  You deserve it.  He probably gave you more drive and determination to suceed too.  And dont forget us altogether here either


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## Headachecity (5 Sep 2007)

I will never forget you guys who kept me going through all this, at home online for 5 seconds coz we are in the sticks here and the internet keeps going down so thanks for everything!!!


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