# Partner not helping financially



## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Hi just looking for advice please on the following financial issue.
My partner moved into my house ten years ago. Whilst working he lodged 300 euros into my account weekly. He also bought the groceries. I then looked after all the financial outgoings.
However he was made redundant about 4 years ago so the weekly deposit stopped. Groceries were still being bought .
Then he inherited money about 3 years ago and spent about 40k doing up my house .his decision.
I am out of work about 7 months and in a financial mess . No help financially from him as money is tied up. I am starting new job soon.
Am I being unreasonable asking him to help with bills, not the 1k mortgage that I pay.


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## llgon (7 Apr 2019)

If he is still buying all the groceries he is helping with bills. How much does he spend monthly on groceries and how much do you spend monthly on the bills you think he should help with? What are these bills for?

What was the 300 weekly 'deposit' for?

If you are in this relationship for the long-term as you appear to be maybe you should consider offering him a share of your house. It might help you out of your financial mess as well.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

He spends about 100 a week on groceries. The bills I am referring to are utility bills plus car insurance tax etc. On average including mortgage approx 2k a month which doesn't include holidays, outings etc

The 300 weekly deposit was to contribute to the above


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## llgon (7 Apr 2019)

Regarding bills, if the house is solely yours I don't think he should be expected to pay mortgage at this stage of your relationship, perhaps just make a small contribution. I would treat expenses of car separately to household expenses. Need to consider a number of factors when dividing this - who owns car, who uses it the most etc.

I would consider that his previous contribution of €1200 per month plus €400 groceries was very generous, given that you consider the house yours.  This also applies to the 40k for renovations.

You need to provide more information about all your expenses and use of car(s) for someone to have an informed opinion on whether his contribution is reasonable.  Your current incomes and savings are also relevant.  Obviously everyone's opinion will vary as this is not purely a financial partnership.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

ESB, phone,vTV sky, refuse  350

Mortgage, life and house Insurance, vhi, property tax (these are my responsibilities) 1200

Car ins, tax 150 he uses the car

Broadband 50

Credit union 250

No savings

Income na at the moment except 800 each social welfare

Above are monthly figures approx


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## llgon (7 Apr 2019)

Your partner seems to be paying his share of household bills. However he is not covering the car. I would ask him to contribute to this or else consider selling it. Given what he has put in already I don't think you should expect rent or help with the mortgage, unless he gets a share in the house.


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## Easeler (7 Apr 2019)

I don't think it's your house anymore. ye sound more like flat mates and bad flat mates at that, if you still consider it your house after 10 years of living as a couple no wonder he quit paying his share.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Ok thank you for taking the time for replying to me. You are very helpful

I thought he should have contributed to the other bills above also as he is using them too and not just the car


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Hi Galwaypat, I agree with you. It's a bags of a situation


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## llgon (7 Apr 2019)

Iswashere said:


> Ok thank you for taking the time for replying to me. You are very helpful
> 
> I thought he should have contributed to the other bills above also as he is using them too and not just the car



But are you not consuming the groceries he purchases? This costs him €400 pm, you're paying household bills for the same amount.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Yes I am, I agree. However, I just feel that he has the better deal as to me he is living rent free and therefore should help more with the utilities and the car expenses (which you have suggested already that he could help with these)


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## Brendan Burgess (7 Apr 2019)

Iswashere said:


> My partner moved into my house ten years ago. Whilst working he lodged 300 euros into my account weekly.





Iswashere said:


> spent about 40k doing up my house



The biggest issue here is that you need to talk to a solicitor and make sure that he is not acquiring any rights to ownership of your house. 

Brendan


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## 24601 (7 Apr 2019)

Brendan Burgess said:


> The biggest issue here is that you need to talk to a solicitor and make sure that he is not acquiring any rights to ownership of your house.
> 
> Brendan



I’d second this but I’d suggest it’s to make sure that he has not already acquired ownership rights.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Yes Brendan I was advised this already by a friend. I checked online and it stated that if my name was on the deeds, then all ok. Also once there was no agreement that the 40k contributed in any way towards ownership.
Maybe I should check further as I could be a bit naive in such matters.


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## rob oyle (7 Apr 2019)

Aside from the legal issues being discussed here, why not a joint account to pay all the bills out of? Transparent on both sides and should be seen as fair by all? Whether the mortgage is paid out of such an account is for you to decide.


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## Easeler (7 Apr 2019)

10 years is a long time I would say he has some rights to the property all ready. He definitely entitled to his 40 k back anyway.


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## mugsymugsy (7 Apr 2019)

You have been together a long time has it not gone beyond he pays this or she pays that. You should be a team working together to contribute both in terms of financially and non financial.


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Yes a joint account for the bills is a fair option. But I suppose back to the initial question should he pay part of the utility bills given the circumstances I outlined in my first post


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## Brendan Burgess (7 Apr 2019)

Iswashere said:


> I checked online and it stated that if my name was on the deeds, then all ok.



You should be talking to a solicitor and not relying on your interpretation of something online for such a serious matter.

Brendan


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## Iswashere (7 Apr 2019)

Yes you're right Brendan. I will take your advice.


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## PGF2016 (8 Apr 2019)

You need relationship counselling not a solicitor. You shouldn't have to go on the internet to get advice. You should be talking to your partner.


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## Saavy99 (8 Apr 2019)

Can you see any future together as a couple? If not maybe time for him to move out and  outo sortt all the legalities if any. 40k was a huge sum to receive from I am sure he will be looking for somei if not all of it returned.


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