# Need assistance.



## cancan (27 Oct 2009)

Age: 93

Annual gross income from employment or profession: Not enough - massive recent drop in income impacting me a lot...
income of spouse: Not married

Type of employment: Country - Ireland

In general are you:
(a) spending more than you earn - spending about 400 million a week more than I am taking in

Bloated PS Pay Packet - A lot
Keeping banks afloat - A lot
Massive Social Welfare - Big Number
Crummy Health Service - Loads of money
Travel: Government Jet, Limos, First Class travel, just the basics.



Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc

Currently Borrowing over 400 million a week - could be more
CC: They are all maxed out - ECB Bank keeping me afloat




Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? Are you mad.

If not, what is the balance on your credit card? Not enough room here for all the zeros.

Savings and investments: What are they?

Do you have a pension scheme? My dependents have fairly nice ones, that I finance.

Do you own any investment or other property? No. Well, if you include NAMA, about 1/3 of the zoned land in the country -I think I am on a winner with this though - property is always a winner.

Ages of children: 3-4 million of them - various ages.

Life insurance: Does the IMF's/ECB's phone number count?


What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you? 

A lot of my dependents think my finances are grand. I'm beginning to get worried. At the very mention of being prudent and cutting back on expenditure they go all crazy, and start frothing at the mouth.
I'm not sure if my current expenditure is sustainable, and am afraid that the noises that the IMF are making are not just idle threats. I used to be very good with money, but as things went well, I started spending like a drunken sailor. It seems every time I have a good idea, a bunch of gombeens burst in and make a mess of everything.

What can I do to restore my finances and make myself viable as a nation again?


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## Bronte (27 Oct 2009)

*Re: Need assiatance.*

You need to spend more, how about hiring some more teachers that should increase your spending ?


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## cancan (27 Oct 2009)

*Re: Need assiatance.*

I'd love to hire more teachers, but the ones I have are paid so well, that I can't afford to. 

I'm not too good with numbers, but if I paid each teacher 25% less, would that mean I could employ 25% more, improving teacher/child ratios and improving our youth's chances for the future? The kids are my primary focus at this point, as they are the only ones will be able to pay off the debt I am incurring, so I need them to have the best education possible.

Any other ideas?


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## Steve D (27 Oct 2009)

Perhaps you should try to tax your children as much as possible and then if that does not work you could try to export them.


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## Marietta (27 Oct 2009)

maybe you should consider getting married, you neighbour would be a good enough catch! Also you would be doing your children a favour if you got rid of that shower of elithist (i wont call them a derogatory name) at the top of all sections of your home and replace them with honest hardworking folk. You would be in the black in no time.


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## Pope John 11 (27 Oct 2009)

Steve D said:


> Perhaps you should try to tax your children as much as possible and then if that does not work you could try to export them.


 
Cancan

A lot of your children have left the state already without evening notifying you. 

I guess they just got bored of playing your silly monopoly games.

Advance to go! - Yes they have advanced to America, Austrialia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, europe & elsewhere far afield.

Go to jail directly! - Relating to all ex-bank manager children.

Do not pass Go & collect €200! - Relating to your weaker children who will be only earning approx. €180 after the budget.

Community Chest or take a Chance! - Your ex FAS director took a Chance & your previous Ceann Comhairle took the Community Chest.

IMF - Irish Monopoly Fund - Have you tried to contact them. I guess there is no money here either.

So I don't know why you need any assistance, you have now got the majority of the green houses & red hotels, dotted all over the board ie. monopoly on the board. Congratulations


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## Complainer (27 Oct 2009)

cancan said:


> What can I do to restore my finances and make myself viable as a nation again?


Perhaps you could try combining being unbearably smug with ignoring many of the factors that caused your current dilemma, and see how far that gets you? Oh sorry, you're already trying that approach - how's it working out for ya?


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## Bronte (28 Oct 2009)

You could lobby the American's to give more visas to the Irish, it will help in reducing the dole numbers.  After all the Irish which are such a giving race when it comes to immigrants and should be accorded special status as emigrants to America.


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## so-crates (30 Oct 2009)

I think you need to reconsider your travel arrangements. It would seem that you aren't getting value for money there. I would suggest looking at the Taxsaver scheme


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