# School Reunion



## lorna (26 Nov 2007)

I have just been invited to a secondary school reunion next month in Mullingar.  it is 21 years since i left this mixed sex boarding school (1986) and i have lived in London ever since i left there.  the teachers are invited too and believe or not most of the teachers who taught me are still working at the school !  amazing!, in fact i think there are 5 couples who would have met at the school still teach there !  scary or what ?

Your opinions would be welcome:

1)  would this be a fun event or might it be simply awful, full of 39/40 year olds who have gained a few pounds, gone grey or lost their hair (the men of course!), married, divorced, children, childless, successful or unsuccessful in their careers, its a minefield !

2) i haven't seen most of these people in 21 years, in fact i have only ever bumped into one or two since 1986.

3) it will cost me at least £200 for flight and car hire, will stay overnight at my home place (the money isn't an issue), you can't really put a price on this kind of thing but of course i would rather not spend £200 and be disappointed with the night.

4) i have read some horror stories about reunions being depressing, people repeating the same old story around the room, some telling you how well they have done, others telling you how it all went wrong, some people getting plastered so they can buck up the courage on the night and coming across all wrong

5) i also know some people who were bullied will not turn up or maybe they will turn up and find their tormentor on the night !

6) and do you tell the truth on the night or maybe modify it a bit ?  i.e. I have done well for myself but i don't really want people to know how well !  i.e. i really would not want to show off.  these people are no longer some of my best friends, we have assumingly all moved on ?

tell me what you think, i usually just make a decision about things and get on with it but somehow i am in a quandry regarding this event !

some of you surely have been in this situation ?  maybe it would be a great night ?  i need to book my flight this week if i am going to go.


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## ClubMan (26 Nov 2007)

lorna said:


> scary or what ?
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


My impression is that you would be better off skipping it.


> 2) i haven't seen most of these people in 21 years, in fact i have only ever bumped into one or two since 1986.


 If you haven't felt the need to hook up with them in the meantime then why bother now? That would be my overriding attitude towards such reunions. Most of the people I accidentally happened to share classes etc. with I probably don't feel an overwhelming need to meet up with again. Those that I do I have kept in some sort of contact with anyway.


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## shootingstar (26 Nov 2007)

I`m inclined to agree here with Clubman. I dont think i`d bother too much about a reunion. The friends that i stayed friends with after school are still in my life. Mind you, theres not many but there is 2 close to me.

I wouldnt feel the need to pay for flights to Ireland to see old teachers that will hardly remember me. I was just another disruptive pupil in their class causing headaches... 

Maybe my views towards this are a bit negative but its just my opinion and its how i feel towards reunions. 

Only you can decide this lorna, do you REALLY REALLY want to see old school mates and staff???


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## Caveat (26 Nov 2007)

I'd agree with Clubman - similar opportunities have arisen for me during the last few years.  Have never attended and from what I've heard they usually turn out to be embarassing/uncomfortable and a little depressing.


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## AlastairSC (26 Nov 2007)

Yep, I come in on the same side. Why not organise a reunion of the toddlers who were in creche at the same time as you? It has about as much significance  

Unless you really want to meet them/ are prepared to be open-minded and genuinely interested in their lives since then you may as well meet the occupants of the number 46 bus who share your commute etc etc. You don't sound as if you were heavily socially involved back then, reading between the lines, so you're unlikely to miss much. If they were that great you'd have kept in touch anyway. 

More positively, it could be a good networking opportunity. You meet what are in effect a bunch of strangers - could make some new friends if you start from scratch...


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## r2d2 (26 Nov 2007)

My tuppence worth....DO NOT GO! I avoided the 5th/10th and 15th but let myself get talked into the 20th.....A total bore, I listened to grown men call everyone by their nicknames of twenty years previous, I watched unpopular kids now being unpopular adults....Halfway through I stood up from the table, excused myself and walked out the door....I don't think I'll be getting any calls for the next one!

r2d2


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## TreeTiger (26 Nov 2007)

Funny, I just talked to a friend recently who had been at his school reunion.  Having kept in touch with a couple of people anyhow, he enjoyed meeting up with people he hadn't seen in years.  He said that he still found himself chatting to the same people he would have however many years ago, the people he didn't like in school didn't appeal to him any more over time.  Some people made the effort to travel from quite a distance, and not necessarily just to show off, they were apparently quite pleased to have a night of reminiscing.

If you got on well with most of your year, and you're generally a friendly person, then why not go for it.  You say you've done well for yourself so it sounds like you can easily spare the money, and perhaps there's some other people you could catch up with on a short break?

Thinking about it, I'd actually love to hear some of my old teachers tell me what they thought of me when I was in school, I think I've changed a bit!


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## z106 (26 Nov 2007)

Going to some school reunion would be my idea of a nightmare !!
I wouldn't dream of going.

Like - why would i want to go? WHat's in it for me?

The only thing that would be any way interesting is just to see how people have changed physically over time.

Other than that i couldn't give a monleys what they're doing with their lives.

Again - why would i care?

I don't get those school reunion thingys at all - never have.

Them and fancy dress parties i don't get either.

If there's one party i definitely won't be going to in the future is a fancy dress school reunion !!

Everyone's is different i suppose though - some people seem into that kind of thing.


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## ClubMan (26 Nov 2007)

TreeTiger said:


> Thinking about it, I'd actually love to hear some of my old teachers tell me what they thought of me when I was in school


Could you not just read your old school reports?


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## zag (26 Nov 2007)

I went to my 21 year re-union earlier this year and it was a very enjoyable night.

I also went to the 10 year one and it was *awfull* with all the young bloods jetting back in from their city jobs in London, New York and wherever and comparing the size of their salaries, their cars and their girlfriends chests.  It was a real competitive thing and not enjoyable at all.  The jocks were still jocks and the nerds were still nerds.

Another 11 years on sure made a big difference - people were a lot more level, sure some had bigs jobs, etc . . . but most of us had settled down to normal life, brought the kids to sports on the weekends, etc . . . car discussion tended to be about the merits of various estate cars instead of sports cars and so on.

I would say give it a shot.  You should find people more normal after 21 years, and you did spend 6 of your formative years with them after all.  There might be a good memory or two in there.

z


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## Gordanus (27 Nov 2007)

qwertyuiop said:


> Like - why would i want to go? WHat's in it for me?
> 
> 
> Everyone's is different i suppose though - some people seem into that kind of thing.



Well, the relationships you have as an adolescent tend to be very intense.  So curiosity is also a good reason.  Especially if you reasonably emotionally secure!  They can be good fun, mainly because
1. You recognise them all cos they are all still the same except for receding hair (men) & weight gain (both sexes). They all recognise you!
2. They were generally a mixed bag and remain so.  Our reunion included labourers and diplomats - and we all got on!  
3. as said, curiosity - the course that people's lives take is better than any soap.  There'll be some real surprises.


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## stir crazy (27 Nov 2007)

School was never the real world. It was a state of mind. I dont think theres any point returning if it was  a negative experience while there. I left an anonymous donation for my school because I felt sorry for the kids entering it in future but under no circumstances have I left any contact details with my school to invite me to any form of reunion. There was always a jealousy of kids who did well at their studies in my school. I did well in both my studies and sports so I could take care of myself but the negativity is something I wish to never return to. Theres  a reason we didnt keep in touch and why my best friends were made outside of school. Sometimes you have to protect yourself from petty negative energy.


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## TreeTiger (27 Nov 2007)

ClubMan said:


> Could you not just read your old school reports?


You kidding me?!!! There wasn't much chance of my parents keeping those!


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## oopsbuddy (27 Nov 2007)

Rather than just wonder "what's in it for me?", some people who are going might just like the chance to make contact with you again, and the more people that go, the easier it is for everyone in a bigger crowd. The worst thing about such events is if they are poorly attended and they end up being awkward. I went to a 21 year reunion recently(ish!) and dreaded it beforehand, but it was the greatest crack! The only disappointment was that some people were missing! Go along...what have you to lose, but I would suggest meeting up first (maybe for a drink!) WITH a small group of friends and then go along as a group. Far less intimidating!


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## RainyDay (1 Dec 2007)

I really enjoyed my 20th reunion. It was amazing to see how little some guys had changed physically, and how others were barely recognisable. It was dissapointed that most of teachers didn't show up. Having said that, I didn't go along for the 25th earlier this year, though I was mad busy at that time.


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## rabbit (1 Dec 2007)

Go for it, assuming you are a reasonably friendly person you will get on fine.    People develop a bond over the years of secondary school, and its really interesting to meet old friends again.   If you hated everyone at your old school though, or your old school was just plain bad, it may be best you do not go.


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## my2leftfeet (1 Dec 2007)

Really enjoyed my 20th reunion also.  And am now back in regular contact with two girls I was friendly with in school but had lost contact with.  As rabbit said ... the bond was still there.  It really depends on whether there are people you may be keen to link up with again.


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## Simeon (23 May 2008)

r2d2 said:


> My tuppence worth....DO NOT GO! I avoided the 5th/10th and 15th but let myself get talked into the 20th.....A total bore, I listened to grown men call everyone by their nicknames of twenty years previous, I watched unpopular kids now being unpopular adults....Halfway through I stood up from the table, excused myself and walked out the door....I don't think I'll be getting any calls for the next one!
> 
> r2d2


Did you not spend too much time 'listening' and 'watching'? It's all about mixing.  I and o/h off to my reunion at lunchtime. Being held in TF Castlebar. Two nights with *THE *dinner on Saturday night. I've attended many of these and have never seen the behaviour listed above. But plenty of craic, loads of stories and a couple of well deserved hangovers. A great bunch of fellas ...... some bring their partners, some do not. These are always well attended and once started in the 90s occur every two years at different venues. 1967 being the year ...... as far as I remember


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## FredBloggs (23 May 2008)

I went to my 10 year reunion which was as Zag has described his 10 year reunion. 

I also went to my 21 year reunion and there was less of the boasting and bragging but I also found it odd to hear grown men calling each other by their nicknames and singing school songs.

I decided there and then that that would be the last one for me and I certainly won't be going back for the 30th. Looking back I'm glad I went to the 10th and 21st just to see what had become of everyone but I found only guys who have sons at the school now (which I don't) really have any "tie" with the school. They know the teachers and the current happenings at the school - the rest of us are in ignorant bliss! When the current principal (who was only fresh out of training college when I left school) got up and gave one of the most boring speaches I've ever heard it went over the heads of everyone at my table who hadn't a clue about his references. However the guys at a nearby table whose sons are at the school were clapping and laughing furiously at his references.


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## ClubMan (23 May 2008)

FredBloggs said:


> When the current principal (who was only fresh out of training college when I left school) got up and gave one of the most boring speaches I've ever heard


He wasn't your _English _teacher by any chance?


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## FredBloggs (23 May 2008)

We didn't do spelling in my school


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## Simeon (25 May 2008)

Back from TF, slightly tired, a little dehydrated but a thoroughly enjoyable w/e. Already, initial plans have been mooted for next one in Cork in 2110. It sounds like this particular class is fairly unique ......... judging by other posters. And everybody's voice improves with age. Or is may be my hearing! American Pie as the sun was coming up really put it up to the dawn chorous


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## gipimann (25 May 2008)

Simeon said:


> Already, initial plans have been mooted for next one in Cork in 2110. It sounds like this particular class is fairly unique .........


 
If your class are arranging a reunion for 102 years from now, then your class is truly unique!!


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## Simeon (25 May 2008)

Thanks gipimann for drawing this little slip of the left pinkeen to my attention. It should, of course, have been 2010. Also sorry to any young Corkonians who had read this and had started to worry about their unborn great, great grandchildren who may be living in Cork city then


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## Cabaiste (26 May 2008)

TreeTiger said:


> Thinking about it, I'd actually love to hear some of my old teachers tell me what they thought of me when I was in school, I think I've changed a bit!


 
Don't take this the wrong way but most teachers will not remember their student from 21 years ago! I remeber a few years ago being a friends 21st birthday party. It was a joint birthday as it was also his mother 50th. She was a teacher at our school so most of our old teachers were there. After only being 3 years out of school, the teachers hardly remembered any of us! I think people kinda forget that while they have only a few teachers, each teacher has probably up to 30 students in each class, every year. Only a small few will make any lasting impression on them!

As to the OPs question. I just keep thinking about the film Grosse Point Blank with John Cusack. Your not now working as a hitman are you?


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## ClubMan (26 May 2008)

Simeon said:


> American Pie as the sun was coming up really put it up to the dawn chorous


Do you mean the scene with the apple tart?


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## csirl (26 May 2008)

> Don't take this the wrong way but most teachers will not remember their student from 21 years ago! I remeber a few years ago being a friends 21st birthday party. It was a joint birthday as it was also his mother 50th. She was a teacher at our school so most of our old teachers were there. After only being 3 years out of school, the teachers hardly remembered any of us! I think people kinda forget that while they have only a few teachers, each teacher has probably up to 30 students in each class, every year. Only a small few will make any lasting impression on them!


 
Sometimes this can depend on the teacher. I remember being out for dinner with a headmaster and him bumping into a pupil he had 10 years previously and recognising her. He worked in one of the large schools with 1,000 odd pupils. He said that he generally doesnt remember the individuals names, but he always recognised them and knows what family they come from - most kids would have had sibblings in the school.


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## FredBloggs (26 May 2008)

csirl said:


> Sometimes this can depend on the teacher. I remember being out for dinner with a headmaster and him bumping into a pupil he had 10 years previously and recognising her. /quote]
> 
> Sorry to be cinical about this but was she good looking?
> 
> When I was in college there were 150-200 of us in class.  One day some girls brought their friend to class.  She was a part time model and every guy I knew noticed her.  Five minutes into the lecture the lecturer stopped the class and asked her what she was doing there.  Red faced she beat a hasty retreat!  Several of my freinds (all girls) were amazed he'd picked her out.  None of the guys were!


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## Simeon (1 Jun 2008)

ClubMan said:


> Do you mean the scene with the apple tart?


Hey Clubman! Thank you for getting me to ask a film-wise friend to extrapolate. I have not seen the movie but in future when ordering Apple Pie with Clotted Cream I'll be having a close inspection first. I'm also seeing American luminaries like George Bush Jr, Hunter S Thompson and Charles Manson in a more understanding light.


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## Mpsox (12 Jun 2008)

I went to my 20th last year, dreaded it but a couple of us decided to give it a craic. Great great night I have to say, ok full of nostalga and some people bsing, but overall it was very enjoyable. it was a boarding school one as well, so peole came from far and wide

What I really founfdfascinating was how the "gangs" almost reassemebled automatically, with the guys who used be up the loos smoking ending up there. Also amazing how people you could guess would drink their live away and end up in dead end jobs with no prospects actually ended up dling just that, and those with a bit of get up and go in them actually made something of their lives


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## Megan (12 Jun 2008)

Mpsox said:


> I went to my 20th last year, dreaded it but a couple of us decided to give it a craic. Great great night I have to say, ok full of nostalga and some people bsing, but overall it was very enjoyable. it was a boarding school one as well, so peole came from far and wide
> 
> What I really founfdfascinating was how the "gangs" almost reassemebled automatically, with the guys who used be up the loos smoking ending up there. Also amazing how people you could guess would drink their live away and end up in dead end jobs with no prospects actually ended up dling just that, and those with a bit of get up and go in them actually made something of their lives



Which group do you fall into?


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