# 47yr old lady, broke and living with new partner



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

hi all, hope somebody can help, my friends mom broke down infront of me last night, she is at her wits end ref money and doesnt know what to do, basically she is divorced but living with a new partner, she was out of work for 12mths and was recieving the dole, she returned to work and earns 380 per week, she lives with her partner but he is on disabilty and recently returned part time so they lost thier rent allowance. from what she tells me tho, they keep thier finances fairly seperate.

She earns as i said 380 per week, 
80 rent 
20 CU loan of 6000(they will not help as she ran very high arrears due to year out of work)
10 Visa (owes 500 pay minimum)
50 loan shark...not sure how long(didnt want to pry about that one too much)
70 Car loan Bank, 2 years left
15 ESB per week
40-50 petrol (her father is very ill and lives in another county, he has home help, but she calls once a week..if she has the petrol)
10 credit on her phone sometimes 20, as she calls her father alot to check in with the nurses etc.
she smokes so im guessing a pack a day? 50 per week

She is left with no money in her pocket every week, groceries are coverred by parnters diability and he has his own expenses.

Her daughter is having a baby soon and she cant save, her wages are paid everyfriday and she runs around and pays everyone and is left with nothing in her pocket.

she has no heating in her house as she cant afford to fill the oil, her car needs 4 tyres and a service...not done in abt 2 years and she knows that this will amount to a big service bill.
she calls to pennys if she can and picks up vest etc for the new baby, she broke down when she went in yesterday and picked up a pair of jeans for  4 euros on sale and she broke down in the shop because she felt guilty for buying this!

My heart broke for her, is there anything that can be done, my suggestions were to ask for her wage to be put into the bank, as proof of a steady income everyweek. cut up visa card.

any suggetsions would help please


----------



## eileen alana (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

I am sorry to hear about your friend's mum, it's a very stressful situation to be in. All I can suggest is for her to contact MABS and maybe a visit to her doctor will not go amiss. 

You are very good to be there for her and for providing a much needed sympathetic ear to her problems.


----------



## truthseeker (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

if her car has any value could she sell it, pay off the car loan and get a cheaper car?

itd be cheaper for her to go on a mobile phone contract and get free network to network calls so she could call her dads mobile for free. if she uses 20 euro credit a week there are packages that only cost 70 a month and there are free talk time, texts, and network to network calls free.

buy the alan carr book and give up smoking?

cut up visa card.

contact MABS.

could she get another part time job or do something else to earn an extra few bob just to get over the hump (taking in ironing, maybe cleaning an evening a week, even babysitting or something?).


----------



## PaddyW (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

meteor talk 300, only 50 per month, 300 minutes inclusive and if dad was on same network free calls and texts to him. Would save her 30 or so a month. Not a huge amount, but a start? Maybe not completely quit smoking yet (i'm a smoker, I know how hard it is), but cut down to ten a day maybe, would half her pay out on that. MABS is definitely a good way to go for a start. Might get her some help


----------



## fobs (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

I would suggest she quit the smoking if possible as it seems the one area immediately that could free up 50 euro a week without affecting basics. On her income smoking is a luxury.
Also would suggest MABS or speaking to her social welfare officer to see if any extra help could be given to her.


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

hi all, thank you very much for your replies, she feels mabs only help you if there are people 'knocking down your door for money' as in nothing is being repossessed. the car will get nothing until she spends money on it, ie service tyres etc.
i suggested she smokes rollies maybe midweek, and cigarettes in public!  
i worked in hotels for years myself so have made a few calls for her for casual work, so fingers crossed that will help, even if she doesnt get anything immediatley she should def get something aorund christmas and she said she put some away baby due in December! her fathers calls are to landlines, but its def a good idea to change mobile plan.

Thank you for replying!


----------



## PaddyW (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

Well, even to landline, that would be 5 hours talktime, so hopefully that would be enough for her. Even if she doesn't need that many hours talktime, she can get. Even talk 200 from meteor with 200 minutes and 60 texts inclusive may cover her at 40 euro a month! Re the rollies, heard of a few people doing this switch and helped them reduce smoking significantly. I'd do it myself but can't roll!!


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

excuses excuses haha!!  only kidding!!

u can buy rolly machines, call it an investment!!!


----------



## fobs (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

On reading the article linked here she goes out twice a week and spends 100 a night. 200 euro a week socialising would do another person at least a month or two or 3. 50 euro a night is excessive so can see loads of areas od cutting back here.
The Independant should feature people with _real _money problems not imagined ones.


Sorry wrong thread!!!!


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



fobs said:


> On reading the article linked here she goes out twice a week and spends 100 a night. 200 euro a week socialising would do another person at least a month or two or 3. 50 euro a night is excessive so can see loads of areas od cutting back here.
> The Independant should feature people with _real _money problems not imagined ones.


 
wrong thread id say...should be finacial anxiety....this lady would LOVE to have 100 a nite to socialise! ha!


----------



## PaddyW (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



Blossy said:


> excuses excuses haha!!  only kidding!!
> 
> u can buy rolly machines, call it an investment!!!


 
I think I may do that!


----------



## PaddyW (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

Actually, further to that, do you know anywhere I could get my hands on one? Are they any good, do you know?


----------



## truthseeker (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

There used to be a Tobacconists opposite Trinity College who sold them. They work fine - I thought it rolled very tight, resulting in me using more tobacco but as I recall it either loosened out after a bit of use or I copped on how to use it properly. It was years ago - dunno if the Tobacconist is even still there.


----------



## maggie mae (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

i'd say if anything they'll help you give up fast, felt my lungs were being ripped up when I smoked them, gave up a week after!


----------



## PaddyW (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

Really? That's encouraging. Encouraging in a strange way that is, thoughts of having my lungs ripped out is a minor setback haha


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



PaddyW said:


> Really? That's encouraging. Encouraging in a strange way that is, thoughts of having my lungs ripped out is a minor setback haha


 
that just made me laugh out loud haha!!


----------



## Welfarite (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

One thing that strikes me is you mmentioned daughter is due baqby soon. What has this to do with her situation? Also, you said she bought vest "for the new baby". This caused her to break down? Perhaps it's more than money problems?

I wouldn't let her dismiss MABS so easily. After all they were set up to combat people having to resort to loan sharks! And what about St V de P?


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



Welfarite said:


> One thing that strikes me is you mmentioned daughter is due baqby soon. What has this to do with her situation? Also, you said she bought vest "for the new baby". This caused her to break down? Perhaps it's more than money problems?
> 
> I wouldn't let her dismiss MABS so easily. After all they were set up to combat people having to resort to loan sharks! And what about St V de P?


 
her daughter is having a baby and would like to save to help her out!!! she would like to be able to take her grandchild out on days out and not always be broke!!!  i think she upset that if her daughter (who now is becoming a mother herself)  was stuck for anything, she wouldnt be able to help. thats the impression i got from her. 
what could SVP offer? i always though they provide food and furniture maybe?  not familiar with the way they work??


----------



## truthseeker (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

The important things to be providing for a grandchild are free - love, taking an interest, a bit of babysitting, stories, playtime.

SVP occasionally provide small financial contributions.

Been thinking about this one and thought occurred to me - the job she is in, any chance she could get her CV out and about and get some interviews and hopefully get better paid full time job?


----------



## Susanna (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*

She could contact her community welfare officer. Some areas have work start programmes and help people get employment if they have any medical problem....physical, depression/anxiety etc


----------



## Blossy (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



truthseeker said:


> The important things to be providing for a grandchild are free - love, taking an interest, a bit of babysitting, stories, playtime.
> 
> SVP occasionally provide small financial contributions.
> 
> Been thinking about this one and thought occurred to me - the job she is in, any chance she could get her CV out and about and get some interviews and hopefully get better paid full time job?


 
she works as a mini bus driver, worked in catering all her life but gave it up because of her back.
i understand best things for kids are free etc. but it must be terrible that if anything happened, she couldnt provide for her own child.

i havent heard anything back form the hotels, but its early days yet. once again thanks for your replies!


----------



## truthseeker (15 Aug 2008)

*Re: help for a 47yr old lady?*



Blossy said:


> she works as a mini bus driver, worked in catering all her life but gave it up because of her back.



Could she do some other kind of professional driving job that might pay more? Some taxi plate owners rent their car out and the driver covers the rent with what they make then also makes a living off it.

Maybe she (or you) could contact FAS and see if they could offer any kind of training or job advice (if for example they could advise her on how to become a driving instructor - then she could maybe do a bit of that in evenings/at weekends).

She doesnt seem to have much leeway in the way of cutting back on financial outgoings, mostly loan payback or other necessaries, so maybe an extra or different job might be the way to go.

Could she teach anything from her experiences in catering? (obviously depends on what she did in the area)

Or even perhaps if she could apply for something different, FAS may well be able to help provide some skills for her to get different work (computer literacy - that kind of thing)?

Does she have anything at all of value (or even junk) she could sell on ebay and try to get debts down?


----------



## fossilwatch (20 Aug 2008)

Blossy, she should definitely contact St. V de P. I worked with them a few years ago when I was in Dublin and these are exactly the type of situations where they can get involved and help out.
They will probably want to go through all the different debts and maybe then arrange to give her Tesco vouchers for a few weeks to free up some cash or they may decide to do a once off payment of a bll in full.

Different conferences work in different ways but your friends situation is one they see a lot and would be only too happy to step in and help before she gets deeper into debt and worry.

Ring the head office in Cabra - they will be able to pass the call to the relevant conference.


----------



## Delber (20 Aug 2008)

Would Family Income Support be of any Use ?


----------

