# Stuck in a benefit hole :-(



## HELP (2 Oct 2006)

Hi,
Im hoping someone can help give me some advice here.

Im stuck in a benitfit trap that i feel i cant get out of. Im so depressed about my whole situation Ive even had thoughts of just running away from everything it would be so much easier.

OK Ill try give a basic post about my situation. 
Im on one parent allowance although i do have partner. It came about when i had to move from the family home due to difficulties. I know we couldnt afford the huge rents so if I was on benifits I could get rent allowance.
Anyway now I want out, but dont know which way to turn. I know we cant afford rent on top of everything else on my partners wages, its ok but not great. I dont work at the moment with a young child to look after, but plan to look for part-time work in future. I want us to get married and live together as a ligit couple, but cant see how we can do it. Out rent is €1300 at the moment.
Im on the council housing list and have been for years, if i got a house this would solve the problem of the huge rent and we might have a possibility of standing on our own 2 feet without being crippled by the rent, but I cant see anything happening there for the next few years atleast.
Where do i turn, is it possible for us to survive on our own??


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## KCT (2 Oct 2006)

*Re: Stuck in a benifit hole :-(*

If return to work you can apply for schemes like the back to work allowance and continue to retain your rent allowance. Talk to a Job Facilitator in the SW office about it.


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## Swallows (2 Oct 2006)

If I am reading your post correctly you have a partner, which you live with, and are being supported by. I dont see what the problem is? You are then not a one parent family, correct? You are claiming to be a one parent family when you are not. Am I reading correctly or have I missed something?


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## HELP (2 Oct 2006)

Swallows said:


> If I am reading your post correctly you have a partner, which you live with, and are being supported by. I dont see what the problem is? You are then not a one parent family, correct? You are claiming to be a one parent family when you are not. Am I reading correctly or have I missed something?


 
Thats a really helpful post. 
Thanks


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## ClubMan (2 Oct 2006)

HELP said:


> Thats a really helpful post.
> Thanks


Is _Swallows _correct or incorrect? It might help to clarify details that are not explicit rather than snapping at people who try to respond to your query.


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## HELP (2 Oct 2006)

I wanst snapping at anyone. I came on here looking for advice. Swallows is asking questions Ive already explained in my post and then telling me they "dont see the problem". I wouldnt have asked for help if it wasnt a problem. It may not seem like a problem from where your standing, but in my shoes its a problem.

I came on here looking for advice on getting away from benifits, but I cant see a way out and thats what my problem is. We have a huge rent that Im tied to, how do we manage on our own. If I get rid of benifits I obviously wont receive help with rent and that a major factor that scares me from giving up benifits. We wont survive on my partners wage and say a part time one if I was to go to work. It wouldnt amount to enough each week and with everything else on top aswell to pay €1300 a month rent.

Is there a way out, could we do it on our own??
Anyone got any advice please.


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## ClubMan (2 Oct 2006)

_Swallows' _post was quite reasonable as far as I can see. The issues that s/he raises are far from clear in my opinion so to clarify them was reasonable.

Are you fradulently claiming certain benefits - in particular lone parents allowance - or not? If you are then you won't get any help in perpetuating this situation or fraudulently claiming other benefits here and this thread will most likely be closed.


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## MugsGame (2 Oct 2006)

Could you move somewhere that doesn't cost €1300 a month to rent?


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## HELP (2 Oct 2006)

What do I have to do to spell it out. Im asking for help to get away for benifits. 

Ive already said in my first post that I claim lone parents allowance, although i have a partner. What more do you want me to say about that.

Im not asking to carry this on, as Ive said a few times I want to _*stop*_ _*claiming benifits*_, but dont think we will survive without benifits. And thats what Im asking for help and advice about.


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## HELP (2 Oct 2006)

MugsGame said:


> Could you move somewhere that doesn't cost €1300 a month to rent?


 
Most of the houses where I live cost in and around this price. Most start at about €1000. Need to stay close to this area too with kids in school.
I couldnt go for anything small like an apartment to make price cheaper, as it wouldnt be big enough for us.
Thanks for the suggestion though.


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## ClubMan (2 Oct 2006)

HELP said:


> What do I have to do to spell it out. Im asking for help to get away for benifits.
> 
> Ive already said in my first post that I claim lone parents allowance, although i have a partner. What more do you want me to say about that.
> 
> Im not asking to carry this on, as Ive said a few times I want to _*stop*_ _*claiming benifits*_, but dont think we will survive without benifits. And thats what Im asking for help and advice about.


Get a job?


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## jammacjam (2 Oct 2006)

HELP said:


> Most of the houses where I live cost in and around this price. Most start at about €1000. Need to stay close to this area too with kids in school.
> I couldnt go for anything small like an apartment to make price cheaper, as it wouldnt be big enough for us.
> Thanks for the suggestion though.


 
You might have to. You can live in an appartment or a duplex with a child if you have greens or playgrounds near you. Plenty of children grow up in appartments, its only likely to be for a while if you start working you will have more money. You dont really have a choice if you are living with your partner and claiming wrongly it is likely you will get caught, I am not making a judgement here, just telling you. You are better off with a smaller amount of money now for a better future for yourself and your child. Is your partner not working, is he not contributing?


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## cagney (2 Oct 2006)

Im glad how much help out there for you Help, its hard one, you have to think off your family first, all other relpys are NO HELP..They dont what you are going thought.


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## deew (2 Oct 2006)

Hi there, Could I maybe suggest a couple of things that may be of help to you; Firstly, fair play to you for wanting to improve your situation.Well done.Next apply for a place on a VTOS course,this will mean you will be trained to do something ie;hair and beauty.You will be paid your allowence plus about 30 euro extra travel and lunch expenses.Also when you apply for the course also apply for a place in the creche for your child,this cost 20euro a week.You are also entitled to work a limited amount of time and income without affecting your benefits..If you do not have a 3rd level qualifaction, you may also be entitled to a grant.talk to a VTOS coordinator to ensure all of the above.After two years, you will at the very least have a qualifaction,at which stage you could be in a position to take up part time work,while child in school.I can only imagine how difficult it is to escape the welfare trap,But it is a POVERTY trap .keep the chin up ,If you did decide to marry and come off lone parent allowence,you may have to consider moving to a different county where the rents are much cheaper.But your quality of life will be as good if not better,especially your mental health as being on welfare seems to upset you.I hope this of help to you,and wish you every success.deew


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## HELP (3 Oct 2006)

jammacjam said:


> You might have to. You can live in an appartment or a duplex with a child if you have greens or playgrounds near you. Plenty of children grow up in appartments, its only likely to be for a while if you start working you will have more money. You dont really have a choice if you are living with your partner and claiming wrongly it is likely you will get caught, I am not making a judgement here, just telling you. You are better off with a smaller amount of money now for a better future for yourself and your child. Is your partner not working, is he not contributing?


 
I have more than one child, thats why Im not sure living in an apartment would be an option. And yes my partner dose work as I explained in my first post, but his wages arent very much. Thats why im worried about affording high rents, even with me working part-time.



> cagney
> Im glad how much help out there for you Help, its hard one, you have to think off your family first, all other relpys are NO HELP..They dont what you are going thought.


Thanks for that, your right people dont know what your going through unless there in the situation themselves. They just think Oh yeah why dont you get a job, but its not as easy as that when you have crap wages and then if you have to pay for childcare out of that.



> deew
> Could I maybe suggest a couple of things that may be of help to you; Firstly, fair play to you for wanting to improve your situation.Well done.Next apply for a place on a VTOS course,this will mean you will be trained to do something ie;hair and beauty.You will be paid your allowence plus about 30 euro extra travel and lunch expenses.Also when you apply for the course also apply for a place in the creche for your child,this cost 20euro a week.You are also entitled to work a limited amount of time and income without affecting your benefits..If you do not have a 3rd level qualifaction, you may also be entitled to a grant.talk to a VTOS coordinator to ensure all of the above.After two years, you will at the very least have a qualifaction,at which stage you could be in a position to take up part time work,while child in school.I can only imagine how difficult it is to escape the welfare trap,But it is a POVERTY trap .keep the chin up ,If you did decide to marry and come off lone parent allowence,you may have to consider moving to a different county where the rents are much cheaper.But your quality of life will be as good if not better,especially your mental health as being on welfare seems to upset you.I hope this of help to you,and wish you every success.deew


 
Thanks for your suggestions deew. I dont think Id quailify for a VTOS scheme if me and my partner get married. I did work a few years back, but I only had one child at the time and childcare was simple then as they werent in school.
I dont see why I should move to a different country. Why should I do that I was born here and this is my home, all my family are here.

Thanks to those who gave some advice.


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## Thrifty (3 Oct 2006)

Firstly to perhaps assist your situation and to work out what you finances will be i suggest you visit MABS or the CIC. They are both confidential, non judmental services who may be able to assist you in working out what benefits you could claim and looking at you situation then. Your partner could claim Family Income Supplement if he fulfills the conditions and if his wages were particularly low you may qualify for other benefits. The suggestion of you taking this chance to do a course by Deew is a good one as you can still claim a payment in your own right. I would certainly look into and get advice so that you know all the options.


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## HELP (3 Oct 2006)

Thanks so much for that advice Thrifty. I will certainly go and look at those places you mentioned.


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## liteweight (3 Oct 2006)

Deew said a different county i.e. down the country not a different country altogether.


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## HELP (3 Oct 2006)

liteweight said:


> Deew said a different county i.e. down the country not a different country altogether.


 
Oh God so sorry I misread that as country. 
Yeah a different county might be an option, but it would mean everyone would have to be uprooted ie from work and school, so it would be like starting all over again.


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## ney001 (3 Oct 2006)

I'm glad you want to get off benefits fair play to you - but don't be shocked when people get annoyed that you are living with your partner and claiming lone parents okay!.  Other people seem to manage not claiming benefits so perhaps you should sit down and think [1] where could you move to that is cheaper - i.e apartment or house further away [2] what kind of job could you get that would get you off benefits - have you considered perhaps minding kids or perhaps doing some cleaning in the evenings/early mornings when your partner is there to mind your own kids.  Could your partner contribute by working extra hours? - you will have to work hard if you really want to come off benefits - try to do a FAS course or something to back yourself up as well.  DSW want people to come off benefits so help and support is there - seek professional advice from MABS.


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## CMCR (4 Oct 2006)

ney001 said:


> - seek professional advice from MABS.


 
If I may just quickly clarify, MABS (Money Advice and Budgeting Service) help people with debt and money management problems - they don't generally offer advice to people about how to return to the workforce and come off social welfare benefits. 

On the basis of your posts above, it would seem that money matters _are _a significant worry for you and your family. Perhaps therefore a trip to your local MABS office to see how you can better maximise your family income might be worthwhile. . 

As someone else pointed out, you can obtain free advice and information from your nearest Citizen Information Centre. This is a free, confidential service - but do yourself a favour. If you call into a Citizen Information Centre be honest about your situation, including let them know you if you are claiming payments you shouldn't be. It isn't possible for anyone here on AAM or anywhere else to advise you on your options unless you tell the truth about your circumstances. In addition, it will help staff there to identify if there are other payments you could be claiming, but aren't. 

As I mention above, all advice and information in a Citizen Information Centre is in absolute confidence - you will not even be asked for your name and no personal details about your query are recorded. 

On a final note, it is possible to lessen/end your family dependency on social welfare payments - thousands of people do it every year. You will find for example that you may be able to return to education/training/emloyment and still retain some of your current benefits - a really useful thing to know and hopefully something to encourage you to look at your options. 

There are many back to education and training courses available through FAS and other organisations, some of which even include a childcare option. Call into your nearest FAS office and see what advice and information they can provide you with. 

The practical steps you need to take now, are set out above. Remember however that when you go to seek advice or information, you must be honest about your situation and remember to give as much information about your circumstances as you can. 

CMCR.


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## lff12 (4 Oct 2006)

HELP said:


> What do I have to do to spell it out. Im asking for help to get away for benifits.
> 
> Ive already said in my first post that I claim lone parents allowance, although i have a partner. What more do you want me to say about that.
> 
> Im not asking to carry this on, as Ive said a few times I want to _*stop*_ _*claiming benifits*_, but dont think we will survive without benifits. And thats what Im asking for help and advice about.


 
The problem that people are seeing here - and quite justifyingly so since its their money that is being given to you - is that you appear to be fraudulently claiming benefits.  Lone parent payments, as the name suggests is intended for people who cannot extract money from their ex partners.  If youre getting about 1250 in rent and then your allowance, which I presume is about 190 a week, and he (or she) is getting the minimum wage, then your income combined is 288 (rent supplement) plus your 190 a week plus his 280 a wek which is 758 a week.

Add this up and it amounts to nearly 40k a year (after tax!) between you - over 60% of which is coming from your state benefits.  If he is earning more than this between you, you have a cash income that is more than a lot of working couples have.

Now think this over carefully - because you probably just see your immediate situation rather than the long term.

If you stay on social welfare, you are basically at the whim of the voting public (who by the sounds of it are pretty pissed off at having to pay for anybody who isn't chronically ill to stay at home), the politicans, and whatever some civil servants committees come up with in future.

The reality is that it is recognised that the state just cannot afford to effectively pay the equivalent of a full time wage to lone parent families so I wouldn't assume that you can simply go on as you are, regardless.

What happens when your child/children hit 18 and you've been out of the workforce for years?

More significantly, the current government are talking about cutting off the lone parent payments once the youngest child reaches a certain age (7 or so has been suggested).  What do you do then?

Or what happens if they do go ahead to start reducing the payments gradually over a certain number of years?

Either way you have no guarantee of a financial future - even if social welfare don't suddenly start enforcing a targetted campaign against people who are not just getting social welfare.

Now consider this - if you get a job in the short term it might seem tough - but you'll get pay rises, experience, training, and hoepfully, better jobs, better pay and conditions.  Which can only benefit you and your family in the long term.


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## lff12 (4 Oct 2006)

HELP said:


> Oh God so sorry I misread that as country.
> Yeah a different county might be an option, but it would mean everyone would have to be uprooted ie from work and school, so it would be like starting all over again.


 
Well a lot of working people have to do this, so I don't see why it shouldn't be an option in your case.

Talk it over with FAS, and look into FIS and back to work allowances, if you've been off work long enough you get a good bit that will help.

One thing I can't stress enough is that while starting wages might seem crap, they do go up over time.  My own take-home salary has gone up by about 2/3 in 4 years, if yuo work hard and get every bit of training you can, you should be able to progress and dig yourself out of the poverty trap.  A lot of people do it all the time.


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## MandaC (4 Oct 2006)

There are areas in Dublin where you will get a decent 3 bedroom house for less than €1300 per month as other posters have pointed out. I am working full time and could not afford to pay a mortgage of €1,300 per month, much as I would love to be able to do so.

I do understand however, that the current system is not geared towards getting people back into the workforce and off benefits. If you are taking home the equivalent of €40K per year take home dishonestly, there is absolutely no incentive to come off benefits. It is the the landlord that is getting rich on your €1300 per month rent.

Bear in mind there are a lot of working couples out there trying to get a start and paying a crippling mortgage taking home less. Many people are working full time to pay a mortgage and cant afford to have children at all. Why have children if you cant afford them? The system needs a complete overhaul. 

I do think MABS is probably your best port of call to begin with. You will however have to take a step back firstly, to allow yorself take a step forward. The interim is going to be the really hard part.  Best of luck, if you are willing to do that.


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## bacchus (5 Oct 2006)

Can you give us few figures?

- What's your net monthly income (incl partner's)?
- Beside rent of €1300pm , do you have a break down of how the rest is spent ?


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## dontaskme (12 Oct 2006)

Back to Work allowance may be available, according to the Oasis website.

I think the problem is with the system, it really does seem structured so that people are better off declaring that they are single parents.

If the op went to work at minimum wage, without any family income supplement or back to work allowance, they would perhaps just about cover the current rent. Then try to figure out where the cost of child care would come from. And that's before food and bills.

It would be possible to look for cheaper accomodation but even down the country, a 1000 euro is not unexpected for 3-bed accommodation in towns or cities.


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