# Soul singing duck.....



## r2d2 (5 Nov 2007)

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer......?  Put it in the microwave and wait til it's Bill Withers


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## jonnyhotspur (6 Nov 2007)

That's a quacker


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## efm (6 Nov 2007)

jonnyhotspur said:


> That's a quacker


 
Response was funnier than the joke


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## tallpaul (6 Nov 2007)

'down' with this sort of thing...


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## Carpenter (7 Nov 2007)

efm said:


> Response was funnier than the joke


 
This thread has ruffled a few feathers I see....


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## elefantfresh (8 Nov 2007)

That was fowl


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## Happy Girl (8 Nov 2007)

efm said:


> Response was funnier than the joke


 


elefantfresh said:


> That was fowl


 
Make up your minds folks - Eider this joke was funny or fowl!


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## r2d2 (8 Nov 2007)

I know I started this thread but I just can't stop _peking_ at it.....


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## ClubMan (8 Nov 2007)

Bloody preening posters!


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## Caveat (8 Nov 2007)

From wikipedia:

_In __2002__, __psychologist__Richard Wiseman__ and __colleagues__ at the __University of Hertfordshire__ (__UK__) finished a year-long __LaughLab__experiment__, concluding that, of the animals in the world, the duck is the type that attracts most __humor__ and silliness; he said "If you're going to tell a __joke__ involving an animal, make it a duck." The word "duck" may have become an __inherently funny word__ in many __languages__ because ducks are seen as a silly animal, and their odd appearance compared to other birds. Of the many __ducks in fiction__, many are silly __cartoon__ characters like __Daffy Duck__ (see the __New Scientist__ article __[2]__ mentioning humor in the word "duck")._


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## carpedeum (8 Nov 2007)

Dragging this thread to down to further depths....


A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar man "you got a grape?". The man replies "sorry but we don't sell grapes", the duck sighs and walks out.

The next day the duck returns back to the pub and asks the same question, "you got a grape?", the bar man replies "i told you yesterday that we don't sell grapes here, now get lost". So the duck turns and walks out!

The following day the duck enters the bar again, but before he can ask his question the bar man shouts at him "if you ask me for a grape again i will nail your beak to the bar, you got that?".

The duck looks up at him and says "got any nails?", "no" replies the bar man.

The duck pauses, "you got a grape?"


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## efm (8 Nov 2007)

Duck waddles into a bar and orders a beer.  Barman says "how are you going to pay".  Duck says "Just put it on my bill"

Baboom!!


.....I'll get me coat


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## Sn@kebite (8 Nov 2007)

efm said:


> Duck waddles into a bar and orders a beer.  Barman says "how are you going to pay".  Duck says "Just put it on my bill"
> 
> Baboom!!
> 
> ...



haha...That quacks me up! [broken link removed]


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## ClubMan (8 Nov 2007)

The joke I know with the same punchline involves a pair of amorous ducks, the _Shelbourne Hotel _and a condom!


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## ninsaga (10 Nov 2007)

Q: What time does a duck wake up at?
A: At the quack of dawn of course!!


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## r2d2 (11 Nov 2007)

efm...ninsaga..

I've read both of your jokes and I don't like eider of them  

r2d2


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## ninsaga (12 Nov 2007)

.... well thats my comedy career well and truely goosed then I suppose...


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## r2d2 (14 Nov 2007)

ninsaga said:


> .... well thats my comedy career well and truely goosed then I suppose...


 
Go on then, give me a gander at some more...


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## Caveat (14 Nov 2007)

r2d2 said:


> Go on then, give me a gander at some more...


 
...and the award for the most inspired response goes to r2d2


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## shnaek (14 Nov 2007)

Two ducks are flying over Norn Iron.
One duck says to the other "quack quack"
The other says "I'm sarry I canna go any quacker"

*cymbal crash*


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## Carpenter (14 Nov 2007)

This thread is not all it was quacked up to be........


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## elefantfresh (15 Nov 2007)

How do you get down from a duck?
Use a ladder!


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## jonnyhotspur (15 Nov 2007)

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. 
The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please? I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus", says the landlord.
"The circus?", the duck enquires.
"That's right", replies the landlord.
"The circus?. That place with the big tent?. With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle," asks the duck.
"That's right!", says the landlord.
The duck looks confused, "What the hell would they want with a plasterer?"


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## ninsaga (15 Nov 2007)

Brilliant!


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## r2d2 (15 Nov 2007)

_"Daffy the plasterer...Nobody does it fasterer....."_


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## penang (26 Nov 2007)

elefantfresh said:


> How do you get down from a duck?
> Use a ladder!


How do you get down from an elephant?

You dont get down from an elephant you get down from a goose!


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## U2Fan (26 Nov 2007)

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low flying airplane coming right for them. So the man yells DUCK!!!! and the duck yells back at the man with an angry face MAN!!!!


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