# Pub Conversations



## Hibernicatio (24 Jan 2008)

Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes? 

Typical pub chat in Irish bars, from both males and females, something like...

"If I won the lottery I would buy this pub and run it properly..."

Any ideas welcome, daft, serious or indifferent.


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## dodo (24 Jan 2008)

Hibernicatio said:


> Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes?
> 
> Typical pub chat in Irish bars, from both males and females, something like...
> 
> ...


If I won the Euro lotto I would be the manager of course with only Women who are at least 9 out of 10 and single working for me.No TV's no serving of food just drink as it is a pub after all.Any one who does not go to the toilet but insists on farting because they think it is funny we get a life ban.No wearing of trainer's,baseball caps,or tracksuits even if you have just finished s football match (go home first have shower then come to my pub) thanks.I would only charge enough on the pint to cover wages,bills etc,I won the Euro lotto so I don't need the money.


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## RMCF (24 Jan 2008)

I always said that if I won the lottery I would open a quality radio station with no DJs (my pet hate).

Don't know if it would be run from a computer-based system or if I would actually pay a few people to DJ but NEVER open their mouths.

When you listen to the likes of TodayFM and RTE2fm and the fact that in the afternoon they have to have 3 people on the show all laughing at each others jokes. Its pathetic and radio would be good if their mic's were taken off them.

And I wouldn't mind opening a decent bar too.


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## Pique318 (24 Jan 2008)

I'd love to open a 'lounge' bar, Ella Fitzgerald, Nancy Sinatra, St.Germain etc. on the turntable (run by a real-live DJ who will be shot immediately if they speak on the mic...actually no mic at all) loud enough (to not have to talk if you don't want to and just listen to the muzak instead)  but not too loud to force punters to shout to be heard, comfy couches, very few bar stools (apart from around the few pool tables), good wine and beer (no Bud etc!), free wifi, select bands on select nights, good bouncers who turfed the twats who say 'roight' & 'rugger' and leave the normal people alone, no dress code (at all) and some fancy way of having this and being able to smoke too !

Oh, and all that on a beach and I'm done !


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## RMCF (24 Jan 2008)

Pique318 said:


> I'd love to open a 'lounge' bar, Ella Fitzgerald, Nancy Sinatra, St.Germain etc. on the turntable (run by a real-live DJ who will be shot immediately if they speak on the mic...actually no mic at all) loud enough (to not have to talk if you don't want to and just listen to the muzak instead)  but not too loud to force punters to shout to be heard, comfy couches, very few bar stools (apart from around the few pool tables), good wine and beer (no Bud etc!), free wifi, select bands on select nights, good bouncers who turfed the twats who say 'roight' & 'rugger' and leave the normal people alone, no dress code (at all) and some fancy way of having this and being able to smoke too !
> 
> Oh, and all that on a beach and I'm done !



I'd have a pint in there ok


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## elefantfresh (25 Jan 2008)

Sign me up too!


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## Caveat (25 Jan 2008)

RMCF said:


> I'd have a pint in there ok


 
Change the music and I'm in.


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## ci1 (25 Jan 2008)

Deffo would love to open a bar that gives out free finger food.

and I'd love to sit in a room somewhere in the bar with a camera over the door and I'd hire a bouncer with a listening device in his ear and I'd sit in my room looking at the door and whispering in his ear who to let and not let in so the place would be a womans heaven with loads of hunky men, not in runners or football jerseys.


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## ninsaga (25 Jan 2008)

ci1 said:


> Deffo would love to open a bar that gives out free finger food.
> 
> and I'd love to sit in a room somewhere in the bar with a camera over the door and I'd hire a bouncer with a listening device in his ear and I'd sit in my room looking at the door and whispering in his ear who to let and not let in so the place would be a womans heaven with loads of hunky men, not in runners or football jerseys.



So you'd open a gay bar in other words


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## ci1 (25 Jan 2008)

Did I say that???


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## Hibernicatio (25 Jan 2008)

Very interesting replies...

Not exactly what I was thinking about, but excellent all the same.

Typical pub conversations was my theme of interest.

i.e. what do people talk about in pubs...

I know it sounds general, but there must be a top ten list.

Cheers


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## Carpenter (25 Jan 2008)

What do people talk about in pubs? Haven't been in a pub in a while, but from memory it goes something like this:

1. Politics- "Dat Bertie is some shyster..."
2. Religion- "Can't remember the last time I went..."
3. Sex- "she's somethin else, would ya?..."
4. Motors- "how do ya find her on juice?..."
5. Affairs matrimonial- "she's grand, and herself?..."
6. Money- "I remember when it was £2 AND you got change!..."
7. Beer, quality and quantity- "Not bad, I've had worse, fancy another?..."
8. Yer man- "sad really, some character all de same..."
9. Dat fella- "done well alright, still a b*lliX though"
10. Property- "Sure it could never last...."

Have I missed anything?


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## Marion (26 Jan 2008)

Hi Carpenter



> Have I missed anything?



Yes. GAA/Rugby/Soccer

In-depth discussions of managers, trainers and who should be on the team and oh! who should definitely be dropped!

Marion


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## boaber (26 Jan 2008)

has some very funny/strange conversations


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## Simeon (26 Jan 2008)

How about a pub with a theme conversation - different each night. The moderators upstairs skulling Krug and listening to the microphoned tables. Anybody going off-theme is put on the lemonade immediately.


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## Hibernicatio (26 Jan 2008)

Carpenter said:


> What do people talk about in pubs? Haven't been in a pub in a while, but from memory it goes something like this:
> 
> 1. Politics- "Dat Bertie is some shyster..."
> 2. Religion- "Can't remember the last time I went..."
> ...



Very good, sounds about right.


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## Carpenter (28 Jan 2008)

Marion said:


> Hi Carpenter
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
True, I completely left out sport, not a sports fan you see!


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## ClubMan (28 Jan 2008)

Hibernicatio said:


> Does anyone have any good ideas for typical pub quotes?


No I shertainly have not had enough, shank you very mush.

You're my best mate.

What are you bleedin' lookin' at?

Are you lookin' at my bird?

C'mere and say that.

Owwwwwww, arrrggggg!

You're barred.


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## Jock04 (28 Jan 2008)

"I'm just nipping out for a smoke"


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## Pique318 (28 Jan 2008)

Jaysus, it's lashing it down out there!

So where you off to on holidays this year ?

How's the job going ?

Did ya see the price of X  ? I remember when it was only x !


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## Pique318 (28 Jan 2008)

Oh yeah, 

Did ya see yer man the Viper was shot in the head, and it bounced off him ?

And

Drugs are bad, aren't they ? That poor Katie wan ! (cue the holier than thou attitude on drugs, even though their kids or at least one of their classmates probably have a stash of weed/e's in the bedroom at home)


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## Caveat (28 Jan 2008)

The most common (and annoying) phenomenon for me is the smart-ass 'non-conversations' that can happily continue the entire evening.  Guys are the main culprits - basically, just a succession of slagging & innuendo together with the relating of hilarious tales of the previous night's slagging and innuendo.  There's usually some hapless slightly geekish victim within the group too who bears the brunt of much of this.

They actually don't say anything at all, all night.

Ask them the next morning and they "had a feckin' great night"


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## ClubMan (28 Jan 2008)

Or how about discussing the "rip-off" price of drink in pubs for 4 hours at a stretch in the pub?


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## bullbars (28 Jan 2008)

It can go from one extreme to the other.
Worked for 8 years in the local and I am now fluent in "Aul-fella Gags". One night I remember Saving Private Ryan was on the telly. I said something like thats a great film etc. One old man at the bar then piped up and told us it was all rubbish.
He proceeded to tell us of the time he served in North Africa with the British army and of his expoits as they made there way through Italy. Kept us "young-ins" entertained for hours. And was far better than the film!


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## ClubMan (28 Jan 2008)

Are you sure it wasn't [broken link removed]?


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