# Communion money, how much do you give?



## icantbelieve (27 Apr 2006)

Possibly not the right section to post in but given that it'll probably degenerate into people letting off steam on why you should/shouldn't give money here goes...
Also to pre-empt  other more succinct suggestions I have already searched for "communion" and "money" and don't think that having a discussion on the topic once a year is unreasonable.

Communion time is coming up and myself and th'missus were arguing about how much to give and to whom. I reckon a tenner to the kids of neighbours we're not particularly friends with and 20 quid to those we are, 30 quid to relations kids with 50 for God children. Then you have scenarios where you are being invited for a sit down meal or any event where the host will be providing food and drink, to me this should result in a 20 quid bump on top of the above figures. Needless to say I'd also factor in things regarding how your kids were treated when it was their communion as well as how well off you are, although to be honest I'd say that even if you have millions the amounts above are fine (except for close relations).


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## Glenbhoy (29 Apr 2006)

sounds right to me - although it's way cheaper up north.  Nephew and nieces up north got £150 in total each last year, but the southern niece took in around €950!!!  And I would the say the northern events had by far the more affluent people there.
Wedding presents - i presume €200 is now the norm?  What about evening reception only invites - how much?


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## sloggi (29 Apr 2006)

god almighty, €950 earned for a communion??  i would have thought €20 would be enough at a max!  why do you give money to neighbours kids, especially if you not friendly with the parents??  I also dont understand the notion of giving €20 on top of original amount if invited to a meal!  its not like the folks get the cash!  easy know i have no kids!  The old adage of still having your communion money seems to be more and more possible!!!  

Wedding gifts i'd be inclined to give €150 (between partner and I)...am sounding like a tight ass here!


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## jasconius (29 Apr 2006)

I agree Sloggi

Ten years ago all the neighbours used to give £2 in an envelope for communion - how could it be €30 or €40 now. Guilt again I suppose.
Am I old fashioned in saying that today's kids are spoilt rotten and are none the better for it.

Child neighbour of mine was opening the envelopes and reached one with no money in it. She says '' Oh that one doesn't work''


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## brodiebabe (30 Apr 2006)

Twenty would be the max that I give - even to relations.  Though I am not religious myself I always give the money tucked in to a child's bible or a book of bible stories for children as I presume this would be appreciated by any family who is celebrating a child's communion.


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## bacchus (30 Apr 2006)

About €250/300.


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## annR (12 May 2006)

Why has it become so standard to give kids so much money for their Communion?  What's it got to do with communion or anything for that matter.  In the old days the couple of quid was 'go and get yourself an ice cream' type thing but nowadays, what is it . . .I don't know but I couldn't be bothered paying for it.


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## brodiebabe (12 May 2006)

Was at a communion the other day.  There was a bouncy castle, catered food, new clothes for mam, dad and 3 children and then the communion boy was given a bike by his parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What's that about?  A present from your mam and dad on your communion day - why?????????  Maybe someone could explain this to me.


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## Purple (12 May 2006)

brodiebabe said:
			
		

> Was at a communion the other day.  There was a bouncy castle, catered food, new clothes for mam, dad and 3 children and then the communion boy was given a bike by his parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What's that about?  A present from your mam and dad on your communion day - why?????????  Maybe someone could explain this to me.


Because it has SFA to do with religion and loads to do with consumerism. 
After all, shopping is the new religion.

My son will be making/having his first communion next year and all the kids from his school wear a sort of robe that is supplied by the school so we won’t have to fork out for a new outfit…. And he won’t be getting a new bike either. I might organise a meal for the extended family (grandparents, aunts and uncles etc.) but that’s about it.
I am not religious but Ms. Purple is so it will be about the sacrament, not the day out.

I agree with the amounts suggested by the OP are about right. I would only give the extra €20  if the kid was paying for the meal!


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## ClubMan (12 May 2006)

Purple said:
			
		

> My son will be making/having his first communion next year and all the kids from his school wear a sort of robe that is supplied by the school so we won’t have to fork out for a new outfit….


Just to avoid embarassment - I think they're expected to wear their own clothes *under *those robes!


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## ClubMan (12 May 2006)

brodiebabe said:
			
		

> Was at a communion the other day.  There was a bouncy castle, catered food, new clothes for mam, dad and 3 children and then the communion boy was given a bike by his parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 Wow! The _Catholic Church _must have pulled out all the stops to lure punters in since I stopped going! Do they have any special offers for reformed atheists? I could do with a new bike and some new clothes myself! But I'd make do with a go on their bouncy castle if necessary.


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## fobs (15 May 2006)

> _Was at a communion the other day. There was a bouncy castle, catered food, new clothes for mam, dad and 3 children and then the communion boy was given a bike by his parents!!!!!!!!!!!!! _


 
Did you enjoy the bash? Can't see the problem with having a party for a communion if the parents can afford it! Why shouldn't they celebrate and make it a fun day for the kid. Getting a bike isn't a big deal either as I got one for my confirmation (yonks ago) when they were more expensive in relative terms! Everyone seems to have a "bah humbug" attitude. Give what you feel is appropriate to you! We give 50 to a niece/nephew.


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## z107 (15 May 2006)

I read in the paper (last week's daily mail I think) that helicopter rides are the latest thing for communions! Parents are paying up to a grand for this.

Sure beats a slap round the lobes and a nugget of coal.


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## Purple (16 May 2006)

ClubMan said:
			
		

> Just to avoid embarassment - I think they're expected to wear their own clothes *under *those robes!


 Really?


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## gauloise (16 May 2006)

umop3p!sdn said:
			
		

> I read in the paper (last week's daily mail I think) that helicopter rides are the latest thing for communions! Parents are paying up to a grand for this.
> 
> Sure beats a slap round the lobes and a nugget of coal.


 
Yes and according to my son the boys are getting highlights while the girls chill out on a sunbed and get their nails done. We have just had another communion and while some took my comments on board about not giving money (or so much) others did not, the result my son has over 1000.00 euro and does not know who gave him what (appart from the really big amounts)
We got him a bible, godmother a cross, the rest is now sitting in the credit union..perhaps he'll remember the significance of the day when he buys his first car/house?


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## Bamhan (17 May 2006)

What is worng with having a party for a child and celebrating an event whioch is part of your religion. No one is forced to attend a communuion.
I was at one at the weekend which had the aforementioned bouncy castle for the kids and food and drinks for adults.
Everyone had a great time.
The child in question got a few pound. I think it is a lovely thing to see an extended family coming together to celebrate a special day for a child.
As in every situation you will always get people who will got OTT but for most families I know communion day is about the child being made to feel special and a family coming together to have a nice day.


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## Magoo (17 May 2006)

At the risk of sounding like a (youngish) old fart, I think the problem with going over the top and having lavish celebrations is that the religious significance of the occasion gets lost - a bit like Chrtistmas.

While I'm not a regular church-goer myself, I beleive that if you raise a child in a particular faith, you have a responsibility to ensure that the child understands the signifcance and importance of the various sacraments they receive as they mature into adults.  Quite where the helicoptors, bouncy castles and new bikes fit into that, I can't reconcile.


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## patspost (22 May 2006)

It all sounds a bit mad Ted, not a spider baby in sight.
I suppose there must be massive guilt and peer pressure on parents to put ona good show.
As for weddig presents €150 seems to be the median amount allright for a couple at the meal.


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## Swallows (23 May 2006)

I agree with Magoo, all this has got out of hand. The sad thing is that the children associate first communion with how much money can be made. It is the same with weddings. I blame the priest, can he not have the communion on a school day, when the children are in their school uniform. After all it is a sacrament they are receiving and there's no need to dress to the nine's for that. The bouncy castle and helicopter rides are just to impress the neighbours.Something needs to change or these children will grow up expecting never to have to go to work. The money grows on trees. Just plant another one.


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## casiopea (24 May 2006)

Swallows said:
			
		

> I blame the priest,



Why? I dont think the priest insists it cant be a school day, if anything they probably only insist it cant be a Sunday.  I know the priest certainly doesnt encourage monetary gifts.

A local school at home did confirmation and communion in school uniforms.


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## nelly (24 May 2006)

casiopea said:
			
		

> A local school at home did confirmation and communion in school uniforms.


And i bet the children went home and got changed into their "cool gear". You can't win.
IMO there is not blaming anyone except parents - he who pays the piper! 
I asked my niece who is getting her communion next year did she want a chopper of what (cool auntie Nelly)- her response was "Mam wouldn't pay for it" (how right she is...)then i told her it would be like only €400 and sure she could pay for it out of her own money - the answer was "Eh, no way I'll go in the car like everyone else". My point - the kids don't even want half the crap attached to it. 
However it is a family day just like a wedding and a bouncy castle is to keep children entertained and as such is a goodsend if there are a fair few attending. I had one the day after my wedding as there were children up at the craic of dawn and a few parents under the weather, €95 for the day and it was worth it!.


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## Purple (24 May 2006)

Why blame the priest? That's just nuts!


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## CCOVICH (24 May 2006)

Swallows said:
			
		

> II blame the priest, can he not have the communion on a school day, when the children are in their school uniform.


 
Now that's the soundest piece of logic I've seen on AAM in a long time.


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