# use of family home after death



## Concert (12 Jul 2009)

Husbands mam died three years ago.  Before her death she made it very clear that the family house was to be left for everyone to use at week-ends or for holidays etc. Regretably, this was never written in any will and I suppose my husband and sister assumed that her wish would be adhered to.  There are eight in family but using the house would only really apply to my husband and sister who live the other side of country, rest of family all live within the county.  Anyway eldest son lives on the farm and this house was on the land.  After her death his wife got rid of everything without telling anyone and they decided to rent the house which means we cannot use it during Summer months and when my husband does mention using it the wife always dismisses his question.  Naturally my OH is upset about this but is not the type to cause any trouble.  Just think its sad that he cant go back to his home as we went down a lot when his mam was alive.  last time we went to his local city for week-end we just booked a hotel as we couldn't be bothered asking if house was free.  Any suggestions on this ?


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## mathepac (12 Jul 2009)

Who was executor of your mother-in-law's will? It was their responsibility to take charge of the assets and distribute them as requested.


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## PaddyBloggit (12 Jul 2009)

Was there a will? If there was .... well that would cover her wishes.

If there wasn't .... as a son he would be entitled to his shaare ... at this stage the best option would be for the sibling in situ to buy out the other siblings' shares.

Having the house for weekends etc. between 8 was never going to work ... who was going to maintain the house etc.

First thing is to check the conditions of the will if it exists. Secondly if no will .... he needs to consult a solicitor so that he can get his share of the estate ....

Re. the farm .... was the eldest son given the farm legally or did he just carry on working there after her death? If the land wasn't signed over to him then that would form part of your husband's mother's estate and your husband would be entitled to one eighth of that as well if no will exists.

I'm not a solicitor ... so I am open to correction ... but the above is my understanding of the situation if no will exists .... only way to be sure of things is for your husband to consult a solicitor .... check on whether a will existed or not and proceed from there.


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## baldyman27 (12 Jul 2009)

Also, if the house is being rented out, your husband is surely entitled to a portion of the rental income, as are the rest of his siblings.


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## Concert (12 Jul 2009)

This house is on the land which was left in a will to the older brother and OH has no issue with this just the fact that it was his mam's verbal wish that the rest of family should be able to go and stay in the house like before she died and he thought his brother would honor her wishes but they went and did up the house and rented it out without consulting the others first.  He feels that brothers wife has an infleunce as whenever he mentions going down she dismisses the question.


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## mathepac (12 Jul 2009)

Not an Askaboutlaw issue - LOS or STB maybe.


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## Yorrick (14 Jul 2009)

The legal position is now clear. The land and house was left to the elder brother. No one has any claim on it and the elder brother can do what he wishes with it. 
While the mother may have liked the idea of the different families coming back to spend time in the house she didn't too much about making sure it could happen. 
Just another example of Irish peoples inability to make proper wills and as a result dissension will grow betweeen the relatives.


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## Concert (14 Jul 2009)

Thanks for all advice.  It's a pity my husband cant return to his home that he loved going to but thankfully we are all still united, life is too short for disagreements between families.


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## theresa1 (28 Jan 2011)

I have one Brother and one Sister. At present my Mother's will will leave the house to the three of us. I live in the house and my Mother want's to leave the house to me and have it put in my name if she dies as she feel's it could drag on otherwise - legal etc. She has asked my Sister and Brother and they are fine with it. If i ever sell the house after I will have to split the money between the three of us. Can this be put in law? If I never move out my brother and sister will get nothing - if I move out in twenty years and we have another celtic tiger my Brother and Sister could do very well. I will have been looking after house all this time - maybe had renovations etc done and the house would still have to be split up evenly. Honestly i just want fairness for all.
Also Mother suggested she would give them some money from her savings now as a 'goodwill gesture' so to speak. I did point out her savings are DIRT free so maybe she would be better keeping it in her bank a/c on interest and when she would die they would get more. All the money would be split evenly.

Any suggestions?


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## Bronte (28 Jan 2011)

Concert said:


> Thanks for all advice. It's a pity my husband cant return to his home that he loved going to but thankfully we are all still united, life is too short for disagreements between families.


 
GirlF has summed up the situation nicely.  There is no way a house could be just left there for people to go to when they pleased, it would not work, no will would manage that.  The owner of the house needs to look after the house and make it pay.  Your OH and you must move on and stop wishing for what cannot be.  You can help in this by telling your OH that it doesn't matter,  that you've no problem staying in a hotel etc and by helping to ensure that no rift comes between the brothers.  A house is not worth the emotional pain of family rifts.


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## Bronte (28 Jan 2011)

theresa1 said:


> . At present my Mother's will will leave the house to the three of us. my Mother want's to leave the house to me . She has asked my Sister and Brother and they are fine with it.


 
Time for a proper family conference with *everybody* present and everybody in agreement.  I'm assuming in lieu of you living there and looking after your mother in old age she wishes you to receive the house which is perfectly fair and reasonable.  Your mother, if it her wish, must be ready in case there is disagreement.  But at the end of the day what she wants is what is important.  She is also entitled to do what she wants but mothers being mothers pressure can be brought to bear on them.  

The suggestion that your mother use her savings to 'pacify/bribe' your siblings suggest that there is already an issue.  Your mother needs her savings for her maintenance and care in old age.  Children should not be expecting to take from that now or ever if there is nothing left when she dies even in the circumstances where one sibling 'seems' to be benefiting due to having a property left to them.   There is a financial and emotional cost to looking after an elderly parent and a perfectly reasonable solution is for the house to go to you.  All this needs to be discussed at the family conference.


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## niceoneted (28 Jan 2011)

Have you always lived in the house? 
Are you working or solely caring for your mother?
To me fairness would be that you buy out your siblings share so to speak. Also If I were you and was getting the house I would expect that any money be split with the other two only.


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## Vanilla (28 Jan 2011)

theresa1- I would advise your mother to make an appointment to see her solicitor immediately to talk this through. With the greatest of respect to your siblings, this is your mother's house, her assets, and no-one else has any right to anything. She can do whatever she wants with her assets.


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## theresa1 (29 Jan 2011)

niceoneted said:


> Have you always lived in the house?
> Are you working or solely caring for your mother?
> To me fairness would be that you buy out your siblings share so to speak. Also If I were you and was getting the house I would expect that any money be split with the other two only.


 
- always lived in the house

- working - help around the house - usual stuff - Mother still gets out and about on her own

- maybe eventually i would buy out my sister and brother if possible

I pointed out to my Mother that maybe in a year or two - who know's the future she might need the money.


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## Padraigb (29 Jan 2011)

theresa1, you do not need to justify your mother's intentions, especially to people here.

I presume that you would wish that your mother's will did not cause conflict between you and your siblings. There is merit in Bronte's suggestion that she tell everybody concerned what she wants to do, and why. She does not need their agreement, but it is probably better if everybody believes that she is being fair.

Vanilla's advice is, as usual, good.


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## csirl (31 Jan 2011)

It's legally possible for your mother to give you a right of residence for life in her Will, but still leave the house to all siblings. Effect of this would be that you could live there as long as you like, but when you move out or pass away, the proceeds of the sale will be split between all siblings (or their heirs). You mother would probably need the assistance of a solicitor to get this incorp in a Will - language used would need to be correct.


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## Bronte (31 Jan 2011)

Vanilla said:


> theresa1- I would advise your mother to make an appointment to see her solicitor immediately to talk this through. With the greatest of respect to your siblings, this is your mother's house, her assets, and no-one else has any right to anything. She can do whatever she wants with her assets.


 

Yes this of course is perfectly true and independant advice from a solicitor will be necessary.  But in a reasonable family, if there is such a thing, it's better to get things out in the open now, and sort them out rather than everybody being shocked at being left out of a will and all the grief that will cause.  At the end of the day the mother can do as she wishes and tell the kids one thing and do another in order to avoid hassle in this life.  

Further to the mother's rights and wishes is the wishes of the child who minds the parent and in expectation of a right under a will takes care of a parent.  That child would want that nailed down in writing too.


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