# If I move into his house



## sammieh (4 Jan 2010)

Hi. Not sure if I am posting this in the right area. But I am just wondering what would the law be if..... 
I have my own house & my boyfriend of four years has his own house. We would like to take things to the next level and move in together. 
problem is I have a child from a previous relationship and he is naturally worried if I would have any rights over his house if the relationship broke up in a few years time. what would the law be in this case??

Thanks in advance for any help you can give.


----------



## Slash (5 Jan 2010)

Whatever about the legal situation, are you sure you have thought this out fully? You are intending to move in with him, with your child, and he is thinking about financial consequences of a possible break up in a few years. What does that tell you about him?

If he is so worried, let him talk to a solicitor and get proper, reliable legal advice so as to protect himself. Then he'll be able to sleep at night, poor love.


----------



## Mel (5 Jan 2010)

+1 to that.


----------



## Bronte (5 Jan 2010)

He is right to raise issues in advance so as to avoid trouble down the line.  Are you going to be paying rent or the mortgage to him?  If you make a contribution to the house then in the event of you splitting up you may have acquired property rights but you cannnot know this in advance.  You can do up a legal agreement to clarify the situation.  From his point of view it would be preferable if you were paying rent.


----------



## babaduck (5 Jan 2010)

Actually, I agree with sammieh's partner.  I think it's very wise to consider the "what if's" before taking such a step.  If they were to buy a house together, their solicitor would ensure they do something similar (tenants in common) in case god forbid, they split up.  And it's happened to lots of people... even here on AAM!

I have heard of similar situations where the homeowner was sued for part of the home by the mover-in and the mover-in won the case.  So he's perfectly sane and not selfish to thrash this out in advance.  If it was me, I'd probably do the same.


----------



## sammieh (5 Jan 2010)

Yes we have thought this out fully, and have talked about this none stop for the last number of mths, we are currantly running between both our houses and feel that after four years we have to do something. 

We had heard about partners having rights to original owners property by living in the premises after a number of years and naturally we both want to protect ourselves. 
Bronte and babaduck thank you for the positive response that I was looking for, and Bronte you have more or less clarified what my thinking on the situation would be. 

Thanks again.


----------



## Mel (5 Jan 2010)

I wasn't trying to be negative, but from the short outline you gave, you are uprooting you and your child which is a huge upheaval for you. Your partner's concern is that he might lose out on his property. 
Of course you need to sort something out, but as Slash pointed out, he's a big boy, let him worry about it himself. You on the other hand need to think about you and your child. 
From personal experience I would advise against the move without some committment over and above his worry that you might have some rights to his house down the line. Which is another way of saying if you break up then you and your child will be forced to move again.


----------



## ney001 (5 Jan 2010)

Slash said:


> What does that tell you about him?



That he's pretty sensible??


----------



## Susanna (5 Jan 2010)

It tells me that he is afraid of committment!


----------



## Ravima (5 Jan 2010)

it could be that he is FULLY committed, but that he worries the other party is not??


----------



## sulo (5 Jan 2010)

I think hes very clever to consider this, as you should also.  I assume when you move in that you will be also paying toward bills/food etc.  

If you are not intending to marry - could you consider a cohabiting agreement?

If for whatever reason that you take out loans together, do work on the existing property or you part pay the mortgage.  If in a few years you do split where will that leave you?

Im not too familiar with the law on these matters so it is worth looking into....

For both of you.... 

I think its important whether married or not to be sensible on these matters!


----------



## Vanilla (5 Jan 2010)

I can see there are a few romantics left on AAM! Now I'm all for romance, but...better to be a little clear sighted in advance and it might save some heartache in the future. 

I would suggest you make an appt with your solicitor to discuss the potential ramifications and legal rights. If necessary then, an agreement can be drawn up in advance of your moving in together. With the new changes afoot in law, whether you are married or cohabiting you may acquire rights in the future so best to be properly informed.


----------



## sammieh (6 Jan 2010)

Thanks for all the info. We did think that it would be wise to get solicitor involved in the long term but it is something to look at in the near future. thanks again for everything.


----------



## jack2009 (6 Jan 2010)

Sammieh, 

Best of luck, this is a very big and scary step so really hope that all works out for all.

I understand that the laws co-habitating are not that straightforward.

My opinion would be that he pays his mortgage and that you continue to pay your mortgage on your property.  Split the other bills and try to enjoy life with the agreement that if it all goes wrong that you will move out and back to your own property as soon as you can move the tenants out.


----------



## lionstour (7 Jan 2010)

Could he move in with you? In this case I think you need to firstly what is best for your child.


----------



## Mel (7 Jan 2010)

jack2009 said:


> My opinion would be that he pays his mortgage and that you continue to pay your mortgage on your property. Split the other bills and try to enjoy life with the agreement that if it all goes wrong that you will move out and back to your own property as soon as you can move the tenants out.


 
This would appear to cover the practical aspects. 
In the meantime there is a young child who will move house, possibly change schools and have to make new friends (I'm assuming that the child is at least 5 or 6, I may obviously be wrong). If things go pear-shaped, they then start all over, through no fault of their own. 
You spend your time making a home in your boyfriend's house, all the while knowing that if he changes his mind you will walk out the door with a suitcase in your hand and hope that you can move the tenants from your own house. 
I agree with Lionstour - Obviously there is some particular reason for choosing to move to your boyfriend's house, better property/ location/ whatever. But it would be a far more solid setup for him to move to you, if this a "trial" situation as it appears. That way if things go south there is minimum upheaval for you. Having taken your own legal advice on teh situation of course. 
If/When you decide to commit in a more permanent way (civil partnership/ marriage) then might be the better time to uproot the child. 
Just my 2 cents as someone who has been there.


----------



## sammieh (7 Jan 2010)

What we have talked about is moving a ten minute drive away. We are in his house every fri night till sunday evening and have been doing this the past two years, the child is 9 and has friends in his estate. She will continue to go to school where she is simply because my mother minds her and she goes to and from school from my mothers house and neither my working hours or his will help in her getting either to school or home. 
Him moving to mine is not an option as my house is a very small two bed with very little space and we are on top of each other. But the long term plan is live together for a year or two and if everything goes to plan to buy a house together in my home town. Resulting in short term messing about. 
But even if he moved into my I would be posting the same question. 

Thanks for everything


----------



## MandaC (7 Jan 2010)

Slash said:


> Whatever about the legal situation, are you sure you have thought this out fully? You are intending to move in with him, with your child, and he is thinking about financial consequences of a possible break up in a few years. What does that tell you about him?
> 
> If he is so worried, let him talk to a solicitor and get proper, reliable legal advice so as to protect himself. Then he'll be able to sleep at night, poor love.



Very very unfair post.  Also, the posts claiming that he is afraid of commitment. Ridiculous.

I would be happier that I had someone who at least thinks of consequences before they act.  It shows a sensible mature and financially aware side that will help in a long term relationship.  

I have my own house and I will make sure I am financially and legally covered even if Brad Pitt knocked at my door tomorrow.  A little tip - never enter into anything without knowing what happens if it goes belly up.  

Solicitors appointment all the way.  At least then you can both look forward together.

Good Luck with it.


----------



## jack2009 (7 Jan 2010)

MandaC said:


> Very very unfair post. Also, the posts claiming that he is afraid of commitment. Ridiculous.
> 
> I would be happier that I had someone who at least thinks of consequences before they act.


 
Agreed, its an honest question and no harm in it being asked at least the man is asking it now and trying to get things straight rather than fighting about it should the relationship not work out and then making a bad situation worse (but obviously we all hope that it will).


----------



## snice21 (9 Jan 2010)

He sounds reasonable to me.


----------



## Horatio (11 Jan 2010)

Slash said:


> Whatever about the legal situation, are you sure you have thought this out fully? You are intending to move in with him, with your child, and he is thinking about financial consequences of a possible break up in a few years. What does that tell you about him?
> 
> If he is so worried, let him talk to a solicitor and get proper, reliable legal advice so as to protect himself. Then he'll be able to sleep at night, poor love.


 
It tells me he is smart, in that he is planning ahead in case everything doesn't go according to plan.

If more people had this outlook a lot of the courts would be freed up & a lot of families could avoid a lot of hassle.


----------



## Mel (11 Jan 2010)

Horatio said:


> It tells me he is smart, in that he is planning ahead in case everything doesn't go according to plan.
> 
> If more people had this outlook a lot of the courts would be freed up & a lot of families could avoid a lot of hassle.


 
He sure is. My concern would be that this was his only plan, as it's a very convenient set up for him, perhaps too convenient, there will be no disruption to his life if things don't work out. 

You do sound like you've given it a lot of thought Sammieh, and I hope you've also thoroughly considered and planned for yourself if things don't work out. I wish you all luck with the move and hope that all goes to plan. Mel.


----------



## lionstour (11 Jan 2010)

Mel said:


> He sure is. My concern would be that this was his only plan, as it's a very convenient set up for him, perhaps too convenient, there will be no disruption to his life if things don't work out.
> 
> You do sound like you've given it a lot of thought Sammieh, and I hope you've also thoroughly considered and planned for yourself if things don't work out. I wish you all luck with the move and hope that all goes to plan. Mel.


 
Well said.


----------

