# Finally Got The Interview For My Dream Job And have Found Out I'm Pregnant



## Cozzie (8 Jan 2009)

Hi,

This is my first post here so I hope that you can help me.

In October i was approached by an ex colleague to see if I wanted to work for their company in the UK. Having been out of the industry for 3 years after the birth of my first born, i was over the mean. The company is the market leader, training, support etc is second to none. Because of the economy, it has only taken them until now to get the go-ahead from European HR for the position as there is a recruitment freeze within the company. 

I received an email this morning asking me to attend for an interview in two weeks time with two directors of the company. I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks ago, which was a complete shock because due to complications with my labour, we thought we would not conceive again.

What is the best way to approach this. I really want the job and have a lot to offer them but can understand that they may wish to fill the position quickly so as to not lease the headcount and may not want someone to start if they are going to be off for x amount of months afterwards.

I know from being on the other side of the fence that discrimination against pregnant mothers does go on even if they say that it doesn't.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Cozzie


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## Celtwytch (8 Jan 2009)

Congratulations!  As regards your predicament, I reckon honesty might be the best policy here.  If you still want the job, go along to the interview but tell them straight out about your pregnancy, and see how they react to it.  The fact that you have been headhunted might stand in your favour.  If it means moving to the UK for the job, though, would you be prepared to do it?  You would definitely need to write down all the pros and cons of taking the job before attending the interview.  Best of luck with whatever you decide.


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## Sherman (8 Jan 2009)

You have no obligation to tell them, and in fact I would say you shouldn't as you may (a) cause them not to hire you because of your pregnancy (when really their decision should be based on your fitness for the role and nothing else) or (b) put them in an awkward position where if, for whatever reason, they decide not to offer you the job, they feel as though they have to for fear that you may sue them for discrimination.

If they are a large multinational (I assume they are because you mentioned they have European HR) they will be well capable of surviving while you're on maternity leave. The only creteria they should use in deciding to hire you relate to how good you are and whether you fit the profile they need - nothing else. Don't voluntarily hobble your chances!


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## Cozzie (8 Jan 2009)

Hi,

Thanks for such a swift response!

I should have said I am already based in the UK. I worked with my ex colleague at three other multi-national companies - he is US based- and i worked on the European arm of his US based accounts.

My gut instinct is to tell them why I feel I am the best for the job, what benefits, internally and externally (new customers etc) I can bring to their company, tell them about my 'small' issue which I wasn't aware of when we initially spoke and give them my ideas and suggestions as to how we can work around it to the benefit of us all.

At this level, there are usually at least 2 possibly 3 interviews and I din't know whether to mention the pregnancy at the second interview.

I don't want to shaft them but I don't want to lose this chance of a job with them as they rarely advertise so it is all confusing as I don't know what to do for the best.

Cozzie


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## casiopea (8 Jan 2009)

Hi Cozzie,
Would you hold off telling them till your offered the job?  That way if you dont get the position you know you werent discriminated against and you are still being honest with this future employer.  Should the employer wish to they could withdraw the offer still at that point.


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## Bronte (8 Jan 2009)

I would not tell them.  It is not relevant to whether you are good enough for the job.  Look at the newspapers in the UK and see the stick Natacha K (newsreader) for getting pregnant when she moved to a new TV channel.  In all likelyhood the fact you have a young child already will be on their minds, discrimination or no discrimination, that's the way employers think and they will probably guess that a young woman will be going for another child.   They just can't ask you and there are reasons for that.  If you plan to be out for a lot longer than normal maternity leave with this child then maybe you should rethink taking the job, but that's a very personal decision.


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## Cozzie (8 Jan 2009)

Bless you Bronte,

'Young Woman'! I wish, I'm 41 next week and I think that's the other thing that has been playing on my mind as I am worried I will have missed the boat for this otherwise if I take another year or two off.

I'm not showing too much and some HUGE support nickers should do the trick....


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## Caveat (8 Jan 2009)

Cozzie said:


> ...some HUGE support nickers should do the trick....


 
Mmmm....mummy.


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## Cozzie (8 Jan 2009)

Calm yourself!


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## Cozzie (8 Jan 2009)

Just spoke to Hubby who is pretty high up in the NHS and he has said especially if the interview is going well, at the right time, tell them.

He said that he had employed someone who was 8 months pregnant because she showed him she was the best person for the job, was upfront about her pregnancy (obviously!) but reiterated how much she wanted it. He then had it written into her contract that she would take up the post within 7 months of baby arriving.

His feeling is that it will show professionalism from me to my new employers and peers as well as my work ethics and if I am the best person for the job and they overlook me because of my bump, are they the kind of company I would want to work for anyway??

I had also thought about offering to work for them on a 'consultancy' basis until I give birth using that time to go through any company induction, training on systems etc or even handling some customers so that when I do start full time, I can hit the ground running immediately.

Anyway, Caveat, hope you've taken a cold shower by now... I thought it was only the hubby that loved big knickers!


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## Susanna (8 Jan 2009)

Say nothing, if you had a heart condition or had developed diabetes would you be expected to come in and "confess" to them........no


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## becky (8 Jan 2009)

Cozzie said:


> Just spoke to Hubby who is pretty high up in the NHS and he has said especially if the interview is going well, at the right time, tell them.
> 
> He said that he had employed someone who was 8 months pregnant because she showed him she was the best person for the job, was upfront about her pregnancy (obviously!) but reiterated how much she wanted it. He then had it written into her contract that she would take up the post within 7 months of baby arriving.
> 
> ...


 
I honestly wouldn't tell them at interview stage.  I sat on a board once and one of the candidates told us she was expecting.  She didn't get the job but it had nothing to do with this.  

I would be up front once they have made up their minds and basically tell them what you've posted above.  Remember they approached you.


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## gaggi (8 Jan 2009)

hi, 
this happened with me, that i was offered a job i was dying for and 2 days later, i figured out i was pregnant. i still signed the contract and hand them over. as it was my first baby, so i was 7 months preg. before anyone could realise that  i was expecting. so i would sugest go ahead with the job and they could cover someone when u would be off on maternity leave. enjoy pregancy and ur baby. best of luck


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## Cozzie (9 Jan 2009)

Thanks guys,

After talking it over with Hubby last night, we have decided to sock it to them in the first interview and see if I get called back for a second. If I do, and that is going well, then I will tell them unless of course they offer me the job on the spot  and I will obviously have to tell them then.

Does anyone have any suggestions for styles of clothes/suits etc that will cover my small rolls around my midriff without making me look obviously pregnant or that I am doing a poor job of trying to hide a house?

Cheers,

Cozzie


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## Bubbly Scot (9 Jan 2009)

Cozzie said:


> Thanks guys,
> 
> After talking it over with Hubby last night, we have decided to sock it to them in the first interview and see if I get called back for a second. If I do, and that is going well, then I will tell them unless of course they offer me the job on the spot  and I will obviously have to tell them then.


 
A couple of years ago my hubby was invited to interview for a role internally. It was a contract and there were five applicants. At the end stages, after second interview, it became clear to all that there were two main contenders, him and a woman (who was also invited to apply). The decision was held back for about three days while the powers that be deliberated and himself was getting feedback that they were really torn between the two. In the end his manager called him to a meeting and said they were giving the contract to the woman but that is was such a hard decision and there wasn't much in it..yadda yadda. It would have been a big step up for both applicants with a huge amount of responsibility, quite a challenge.

Two days later the woman handed in her signed contracts, the day after that she informed the company she was 11 weeks pregnant. Everyone else was gutted, Himself because he didn't get the contract, the bosses because they had filled a vital role with someone who would be going on leave at the crucial point of the project. Unfortunatly it created a bit of a bad atmosphere between her and her bosses.

Himself left the company soon after. In a strange quirk of fate, the woman resigned because she couldn't cope with the job.

I'm not suggesting this is what will happen with you nor that you shouldn't go for the job just because you're pregnant (and yes, had they known, I'm sure that lady wouldn't have got the job because the project was due to release around the time she went on maternity leave). I'm just sharing a story.

Good luck with the interview.


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## sandrat (9 Jan 2009)

Bubbly Scot said:


> (and yes, had they known, I'm sure that lady wouldn't have got the job because the project was due to release around the time she went on maternity leave).


 
well that is reason enough not to tell them. she was the best candidate and she got the job why would her being pregnant not make her the best candidate?


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## Bubbly Scot (9 Jan 2009)

sandrat said:


> well that is reason enough not to tell them. she was the best candidate and she got the job why would her being pregnant not make her the best candidate?


 
They obviously thought she was the best candidate but had they known she wouldn't be available for the project release then they probably wouldn't have offered it to her, whether she was pregant or not. In the same way if hubby told them he was going away for three months at the crucial time he would have been ruled out for it.


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## becky (9 Jan 2009)

Bubbly Scot said:


> They obviously thought she was the best candidate but had they known she wouldn't be available for the project release then they probably wouldn't have offered it to her, whether she was pregant or not. In the same way if hubby told them he was going away for three months at the crucial time he would have been ruled out for it.


 
I'd be with you on this Bubbly S.


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## sandrat (9 Jan 2009)

its not like she can rearrange when she is due to give birth. your hubby could rearrange "going away"


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## Bubbly Scot (9 Jan 2009)

sandrat said:


> its not like she can rearrange when she is due to give birth. your hubby could rearrange "going away"


 
I don't want to take this thread off topic so I'll not comment further here. If you want to continue, it might be better to open a new thread in the Depths 

I wasn't looking for an argument, just hoping to give the OP the other side of the coin as it were.


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## FKH (9 Jan 2009)

Although you cannot discriminate against pregnant women you can see that a company in the situation above would not have regarded her as the best candidate if she would be away from the office at a crucial time when they needed her most. 

It's a tough call but I think that your employer should be told as otherwise it could create very bad feeling as the employer may feel they were duped by you.


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## sadie (13 Jan 2009)

I would wait until you have been offered the job to tell them. But I would tell them. By being upfront with them it will relieve pressure on you to be hiding the fact you are pregnant. If they hire you as a pregnant woman, in the event that you need to take extra time off, for whatever reason (very bad morning sickness, high blood pressure), before or after the pregnancy, they will be much more open to and accepting of that, having hired you pregnant, if you see what I mean...


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## Diziet (13 Jan 2009)

I would agree with the posters that said to wait for the job offer before you tell them.

They are not allowed to discriminate on the grounds of pregnancy but the reality is that there is a high probability they would not make an offer if they were aware of it before the interview. 

Good luck with the interview and the pregnancy.


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## Cozzie (13 Jan 2009)

Ok,

have decided to 'dress' well and not breath a bean about the Bump. Should I be offered the job, I will immediately advise them of my situation BEFORE signing the contract and put my proposal to them for a start date bearing in mind a sprog will soon be dropped. If they come back and say my proposed start date is not beneficial to the company for business reasons and they withdraw the offer, I believe that they can do that, but I would hope that we could work around it.

The interview is next week, so I am keeping everything crossed.........shame I never did that last October!

Cozzie


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## Oops (13 Jan 2009)

Hi all, sorry Cozzie hope you don't mind me jumping in on your post.  Have a question that I hope I can get some advice on.  Had an interview for a job way back in the summer and have only just heard back from them now with a job offer, thing is I am now 12 weeks pregnant.  Am at the stage were I will be signing my contract the beginning of next week.  I feel dishonest not telling them (was going to tell them when I start) at the same time I will be able for the job, it's just when it comes to time off for hospital appointments and then obviously maternity leave but I REALLY need to start a permanent job (working temporary now).   What to do? Tell them before signing the contract (but does that run the risk of them not employing me)? Tell them as soon as I start in the job?  Or wait a while until I start obviously showing before I tell them? I fear the atmosphere after I tell them!


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## PaddyBloggit (13 Jan 2009)

Oops ..... I reckon you should sign .... say nada until later and then say you never knew ..... a joyous occasion .... all the more joyous 'cos twas a surprise.

You need the job ..... they'll get over it if you are a good worker!


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## Diziet (14 Jan 2009)

Oops said:


> Hi all, sorry Cozzie hope you don't mind me jumping in on your post.  Have a question that I hope I can get some advice on.  Had an interview for a job way back in the summer and have only just heard back from them now with a job offer, thing is I am now 12 weeks pregnant.  Am at the stage were I will be signing my contract the beginning of next week.  I feel dishonest not telling them (was going to tell them when I start) at the same time I will be able for the job, it's just when it comes to time off for hospital appointments and then obviously maternity leave but I REALLY need to start a permanent job (working temporary now).   What to do? Tell them before signing the contract (but does that run the risk of them not employing me)? Tell them as soon as I start in the job?  Or wait a while until I start obviously showing before I tell them? I fear the atmosphere after I tell them!




This is a no brainer - Sign the contract, then inform them of your pregnancy. If they refuse to employ you, then they are breaking the law anyway. 

Seriously, you can do the job, so what on earth are you feeling guilty about?  If they offered you the job in the summer, would you decide not to get pregnant 

Congratulations BTW!


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## Oops (14 Jan 2009)

Very true Diziet, I would be in the same position if I had have started the job in the summer. Thanks for that PaddyBloggit & Diziet, just needed a bit of reassurance from outsiders.


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## stevo (15 Jan 2009)

stevo's wife posting here.........

Just giving a real life example of someone who did not mention a pregnancy when interviewing or starting a new job. 

I started a job 3 years ago. I was 5wks pregnant doing the interview, 6wks when I signed the contract, 11wks when I started in my new job, and I did not tell my manager until I was about 17 wks pregnant. 

I decided not to mention my pregnancy because the previous year I was very advanced in discussions with another company when I found out I was pregnant - that time I decided to pull out of the recruitment process and stay in my old job. However, a few weeks later I lost the baby and ended up with no baby and no new job. I wasn't about to repeat this mistake. 

But, I can hand on heart say that there was never, EVER any ill-feeling towards me for not "fessing up to" my pregnancy.(And, why should there be. I was simply doing what I was legally entitled to do.)

I started my maternity leave the day after my probation period ended, I took 6mths mat leave, returned to work - was allowed parental leave one day per week and was promoted within 2mths of returning to work to a role that I love. 

Within 3 mths of moving into the promotion role I told them that I was pregnant again. Last Feb I went on my second mat leave and I just returned to work this week. 

So, in the last nearly 3 years I have been on mat leave for 17 months . But, I was welcomed back with open arms again this week. And, who knows I might go on leave again later this year !

So - the above is an example to show that despite what posters are saying above, it is not a given that people will "hold it against you" if you do not "fess up to" the pregnancy. 

My advice would be to take the job , and when the time comes to tell them you stand up straight and look them in the eye and confidently tell them your happy news. Do not act apologetic about it, or give off "vibes" that you are "confessing" to something wrong. There is NOTHING wrong about being pregnant. And, you will have done NOTHING wrong. You are legally and morally entitled to plan your family in any way you wish. Your managers, or potential managers, are not allowed to hold it against you. 

Just wanted to give a more positive slant...........


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## Bronte (16 Jan 2009)

That's really well said Stevo's wife.


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## auee (23 Feb 2010)

First post here -- I am so relieved to hear all your opinions here & thank you Cozzie for starting this thread. I hope your interview went well & your pregnancy, too.

I'm in a similar situation as Oops actually. The interview was such a long drawn out process that took over 3 months to complete!!! Now that I have the offer, I found out I'm pregnant - I'm not even sure how many weeks.

This is my second child & after *6 years* so it's almost like a primie again. I have been thinking of contacting the hiring manager before I sign the contract. Afterall they have already offered it to me, right? Now literally they'd be discriminating against a pregnant woman by pulling out the offer. But I'm thinking by talking to the manager, then my conscience will be clear & they'll know what to expect too.

How does that sound? What do you think? Am I crazy or just hormonal?

Stevo's wife had really good points but though I know legally not saying anything is fine, I'm still _scared_ of the potential climate I may land in.


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