# Wedding cakes - how much did yours cost



## Bronte (2 Oct 2012)

My whole wedding didn't even come close to 1/50th the price of a certain well known wedding cake, actually I didn't want a cake but sibling said I had to have one so I'm not an expert on the area. 

From my reading of Irish weddings during the boom, weddings were about 30K o) but how much does a wedding cake for 200 people cost and how much did the rest of you spend on your cake.

Other than cream, fruit, icing, chocolate, flour etc and subtracting let's say 2K for expert transportation from New York, what would go into a cake that is expensive. Other than diamonds I cannot get my head around it.


----------



## TRS30 (2 Oct 2012)

Our 'post boom' wedding is costing 35K. There is no recession when it comes to weddings. 

Cake is €480 however we are only have 150ish....


----------



## truthseeker (2 Oct 2012)

I didnt have a wedding cake or a traditional wedding so I wouldnt have a clue on a 'normal' cost, but I suppose its like anything, its worth what someone will pay for it. If someone out there can make a wedding cake that costs 100k and someone is willing to pay that for the cake - then the person buying the cake has more money than brains.


----------



## Vanilla (2 Oct 2012)

Although it was years ago, I'd say in todays terms our wedding cake cost about €100, maybe less. It was pretty nice too. We had a fairly traditional wedding so it's not as if we were even really trying to do it on a budget. Seemed to be fairly standard. Sure a cake is a cake, after all!


----------



## DeeFox (2 Oct 2012)

We recently paid €300 for a "cake" made from cheese and grapes - it looked amazing and was divine.  Worked really well for afters.  Venue provided it themselves so no transport costs.


----------



## Bronte (2 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Our 'post boom' wedding is costing 35K. There is no recession when it comes to weddings.
> 
> .


 

Nothing against you but it's a quite astounding figure, but each to their own. 

In relation to cakes, I was serious about the diamonds, wondering if anyone has been to a do where the cake included something expensive in each slice, cartier watch, diamond earrings etc. Then one could see why a cake would costs thousands.


----------



## Shawady (2 Oct 2012)

Do hotels still charge a 'cutting fee'?
I heard of this in the boom that some hotels charged a couple of euro for every slice of cake they had to cut and serve.


----------



## Purple (2 Oct 2012)

> Wedding cakes - how much did yours cost


15 years of my life


----------



## demoivre (2 Oct 2012)

I got a loan form Anglo to pay for mine.


----------



## Vanilla (2 Oct 2012)

demoivre said:


> i got a loan form anglo to pay for mine.


 
lol.


----------



## Wishes (2 Oct 2012)

Well lets just say it didn't cost 100k !

Ours was baked by the brides mammy!  Nice cake but lasted just about as long as the marriage!


----------



## rustbucket (2 Oct 2012)

not all but most include a 'cake cutter' or sterling silver knife in their schedule of things included in the contract.


----------



## TRS30 (2 Oct 2012)

Bronte said:


> Nothing against you but it's a quite astounding figure, but each to their own.



Why do you say that?


----------



## truthseeker (2 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Why do you say that?



Im not trying to answer for Bronte - I too think its an astounding figure.

I think its astounding that two people would spend that much money on what is essentially a party. Of course, perhaps you have money to burn and its a drop in the ocean for you, but for me, I couldnt justify that kind of money on a party. 35k would make a nice dent in my mortgage.


----------



## Perplexed (2 Oct 2012)

I've a son and daughter both getting married next year and I must say it's a great time to be having weddings.  Hotels are falling over themselves with good deals.  All the things that were charged extra for in the boom are now part of the package.
I don't think either of them will be paying in the region of €35k though. Maybe an exotic honeymoon is included in this cost??

As for the wedding cakes they'll most definitely be home made. €100k for a wedding cake is ridiculous............and guess who's footing the bill now??


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Im not trying to answer for Bronte - I too think its an astounding figure.
> 
> I think its astounding that two people would spend that much money on what is essentially a party. Of course, perhaps you have money to burn and its a drop in the ocean for you, but for me, I couldnt justify that kind of money on a party. 35k would make a nice dent in my mortgage.


 
Difference of opinions I guess. I don’t see it as a party more the most important day in our lives so far and something that we only plan on doing once. 

We don’t have money to burn; we have saved very hard for a number of years and made a lot of sacrifices. 



Perplexed said:


> I've a son and daughter both getting married next year and I must say it's a great time to be having weddings. Hotels are falling over themselves with good deals. All the things that were charged extra for in the boom are now part of the package.
> I don't think either of them will be paying in the region of €35k though. Maybe an exotic honeymoon is included in this cost??
> 
> As for the wedding cakes they'll most definitely be home made. €100k for a wedding cake is ridiculous............and guess who's footing the bill now??


 
Depends on the hotel. Some places we were looked at are booked solid till well into 2014 so were not offering much discounts. 

Yes, they is a very nice honeymoon included as well as quite an expensive engagement ring.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Difference of opinions I guess. I don’t see it as a party more the most important day in our lives so far and something that we only plan on doing once.
> 
> We don’t have money to burn; we have saved very hard for a number of years and made a lot of sacrifices.



Each to their own. I hope it lives up to your dreams. 

Im not into the traditional style wedding myself so I dont place a lot of value on it personally.

Although the mother in law still doesnt forgive us for eloping


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Each to their own. I hope it lives up to your dreams.
> 
> Im not into the traditional style wedding myself so I dont place a lot of value on it personally.
> 
> Although the mother in law still doesnt forgive us for eloping


 
As I said; difference of opinion. 

Once my financee is happy when I'm happy (I'm learning early )


----------



## Bronte (3 Oct 2012)

Perplexed said:


> €100k for a wedding cake is ridiculous............and guess who's footing the bill now??


 
Hadn't thought of that, I think the least we should be entitled to know is the ingredients and a picture of it.  I'd also like to know what it tasted like.


----------



## Vanilla (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Once my financee is happy when I'm happy (I'm learning early )


 
I predict a very happy marriage- congratulations!


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Once my financee is happy when I'm happy (I'm learning early )



You sure youre not already married


----------



## Mongola (3 Oct 2012)

We only got married 2 months ago and the cake was something we put a lot of thought in it. It was not a traditional cake: it was a tower of 200 macarons (vanilla white chocolate, dark chocolate and praline fillings) which had different shades of green. We had a more traditional chocolate biscuit cake as a base but again, icing in different shades of green. This required a lot of work from the cake maker as macaron are quite delicate and once colours are added in, it becomes even more difficult! Was not cheap...


----------



## ney001 (3 Oct 2012)

The mammy made mine - was really just a nice Christmas cake - she had it professionally decorated and got a caketopper etc  - all in all bout €50 yo yos I'd say and it went down very well indeed!


----------



## MrMan (3 Oct 2012)

I think this thread will go along the lines of the 'what size is your Tv'. People falling over themselves to show who is the least materialistic, oh how times have changed.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

MrMan said:


> I think this thread will go along the lines of the 'what size is your Tv'. People falling over themselves to show who is the least materialistic, oh how times have changed.



Id love to be able to be materialistic! 

Even with means though, I still wouldnt have done my own wedding any other way. I dont enjoy traditional weddings, too samey, tedious, too much emphasis on drinking, long boring parts in the middle of the day where you get hungry, etc.. I have been to many a wedding and none of them seemed to be 'special' and Id be hard pressed to remember one from another. So I wouldnt deem a traditional wedding to be worth spending a lot of money on, even if I had money to burn.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Id love to be able to be materialistic!
> 
> Even with means though, I still wouldnt have done my own wedding any other way. I dont enjoy traditional weddings, too samey, tedious, too much emphasis on drinking, long boring parts in the middle of the day where you get hungry, etc.. I have been to many a wedding and none of them seemed to be 'special' and Id be hard pressed to remember one from another. So I wouldnt deem a traditional wedding to be worth spending a lot of money on, even if I had money to burn.


 
I hope many people dont waste their money inviting you to share *their *special day with them as you seem to find it all so boring, waste of money etc


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> I hope many people dont waste their money inviting you to share *their *special day with them as you seem to find it all so boring, waste of money etc



Plenty of people dont enjoy weddings. Its not something I feel the need to defend.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Plenty of people dont enjoy weddings. Its not something I feel the need to defend.


 
Simple answer: don't go.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Simple answer: don't go.



Thats pretty immature. We all do things we'd rather not do in life because we care about other people and dont wish to hurt their feelings. I am not a selfish individual so I go, I dress up, I eat the dinner, I dance, I socialise, I give a gift, etc... But I dont particularly enjoy weddings. Its hardly a crime.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Thats pretty immature. We all do things we'd rather not do in life because we care about other people and dont wish to hurt their feelings. I am not a selfish individual so I go, I dress up, I eat the dinner, I dance, I socialise, I give a gift, etc... But I dont particularly enjoy weddings. Its hardly a crime.


 
You eloped so didnt get family and friend the opportunity to celebrate with you. Some would call that selfish. 

Most people invite people to their wedding so they can celebrate and be part of their day, if they knew it was such a chore for you i'm sure they would rather you not be there.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> You eloped so didnt get family and friend the opportunity to celebrate with you. Some would call that selfish.



Marriage vows are a private matter imo. We had a party when we came home but it was just an evening event as Im aware that a long day is tedious for many people.



TRS30 said:


> Most people invite people to their wedding so they can celebrate and be part of their day, if they knew it was such a chore for you i'm sure they would rather you not be there.



I think you will find that many people do not enjoy weddings. Dont fool yourself as to the reasons why people invite lots of people to their wedding. If it was about celebrating a special day with people they loved most weddings would have a much smaller number of guests.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Marriage vows are a private matter imo. We had a party when we came home but it was just an evening event as Im aware that a long day is tedious for many people.
> 
> 
> 
> I think you will find that many people do not enjoy weddings. Dont fool yourself as to the reasons why people invite lots of people to their wedding. If it was about celebrating a special day with people they loved most weddings would have a much smaller number of guests.


 
I would say personal rather than private. If you want to have 2 people or 200 people there it's up to you, one or the other isn't right or wrong. Lot of people love weddings and dont mind the 'long' day. 

Why would I be fooling myself? 

I can't speak for other people however I will have spoken to or seen, in the last couple of months, everyone who will be at my wedding.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Why would I be fooling myself?
> 
> I can't speak for other people however I will have spoken to or seen, in the last couple of months, everyone who will be at my wedding.



Thats great, Im delighted for you. But its not everyones cup of tea.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Thats great, Im delighted for you. But its not everyones cup of tea.


 
No need to be patronising. 

If people don’t want to come that’s no problem. It’s an invite not a summons.


----------



## truthseeker (3 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> No need to be patronising.
> 
> If people don’t want to come that’s no problem. It’s an invite not a summons.



I apologise, I did not intend to be patronising. I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy your day, no patronising, just good wishes.


----------



## DB74 (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Thats great, Im delighted for you. But its not everyones cup of tea.



I'm not sure how anyone can call this patronising - must be the stress of having to pay for the wedding!


----------



## Boyd (3 Oct 2012)

After spending the €50 or €500 (whatever) on it, does anyone even eat wedding cake? Any wedding ive been at I havent even seen the cake.....


----------



## Mongola (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Id love to be able to be materialistic!
> 
> Even with means though, I still wouldnt have done my own wedding any other way. I dont enjoy traditional weddings, too samey, tedious, too much emphasis on drinking, long boring parts in the middle of the day where you get hungry, etc.. I have been to many a wedding and none of them seemed to be 'special' and Id be hard pressed to remember one from another. So I wouldnt deem a traditional wedding to be worth spending a lot of money on, even if I had money to burn.



I kind of agree with Truthseeker. I have been to many weddings and they are often quite the same. It however depends what the couple wants! Some people want a traditional wedding while some try to put on a show. Some spend a lot of money and some, again don't. It is about doing what YOU want and what you can afford. The only thing that I would feel quite strongly about, is that starting married life with debts is not a good idea. Borrowing money did not even cross our minds. For us, it was about making the day as personal as we could, keep our 95 guests happy and not recreate everything I hate about weddings such as going hungry, having drunk guests, too much time between ceremony and meal etc... I would not change a thing, not even the cake! It is such an important day (very emotional and happy)in one's life and i don't think anybody should have to defend their choices.


----------



## Mongola (3 Oct 2012)

username123 said:


> After spending the €50 or €500 (whatever) on it, does anyone even eat wedding cake? Any wedding ive been at I havent even seen the cake.....



We were afraid of this so served it as dessert! Problem solved!


----------



## Teatime (3 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Plenty of people dont enjoy weddings. Its not something I feel the need to defend.



Yeah I think the majority of people would prefer a letter from the Revenue than a wedding invite.
In the end all your wedding memories are just a blur. You never really remember which one had the nice church, ceremony (shorter the better), flowers, hotel, weather, food, wine, cake, craic, dress, band, cocktail sausages, egg salad sandwiches, residents bar etc with the odd exception


----------



## Bronte (4 Oct 2012)

username123 said:


> After spending the €50 or €500 (whatever) on it, does anyone even eat wedding cake? Any wedding ive been at I havent even seen the cake.....


 

Me too, including on my own wedding day. I did cut it though, and hotel gave us a knife as a gift, still have it. Cannot believe that a cake cutting costs exists.

So far the highest cost for a cake is 500 Euro, Mongolo can you beat that? Or TRS30.  You're probably cheapsakes in comparison with the New York cake.


----------



## Shawady (4 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Although the mother in law still doesnt forgive us for eloping


 
Truthseeker, just out of interest, did you have to get someone to witness your wedding abroad if it was only the two of you that travelled?


----------



## truthseeker (4 Oct 2012)

Shawady said:


> Truthseeker, just out of interest, did you have to get someone to witness your wedding abroad if it was only the two of you that travelled?



Yes, there was us, our driver (it was in a safari park), a photographer (he was the anti poaching ranger in the safari park who was a sideline photographer), the hotel catering manageress, and the minister.

The hotel catering manageress and the photographer were an engaged couple and they witnessed for us. The driver stood by with a rifle in case of predators 

Just to stay on topic, we chose not to have a wedding cake at the hotel or at the party we held when we got back.


----------



## Purple (4 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Yes, there was us, our driver (it was in a safari park), a photographer (he was the anti poaching ranger in the safari park who was a sideline photographer), the hotel catering manageress, and the minister.
> 
> The hotel catering manageress and the photographer were an engaged couple and they witnessed for us. The driver stood by with a rifle in case of predators
> 
> Just to stay on topic, we chose not to have a wedding cake at the hotel or at the party we held when we got back.


Where'd you go on Safari?


----------



## Mongola (4 Oct 2012)

Teatime said:


> Yeah I think the majority of people would prefer a letter from the Revenue than a wedding invite.
> In the end all your wedding memories are just a blur. You never really remember which one had the nice church, ceremony (shorter the better), flowers, hotel, weather, food, wine, cake, craic, dress, band, cocktail sausages, egg salad sandwiches, residents bar etc with the odd exception


 

I would still prefer a wedding invite though but thank you for making me laugh! Bronte, yes, our wedding was over that, it cost us 750, incl delivery  and would not have changed it for the world!


----------



## Bronte (4 Oct 2012)

Mongola said:


> yes, our wedding was over that, it cost us 750, incl delivery  and would not have changed it for the world!


 

Well TRS30 can you beat €750 ?

Truthseeker, I so wish I'd done something like your wedding.  I hated my own wedding.  (sad smily - there's none on the options) But I'm so happy to be married.  

I too planned to elope but agreed to compromise.  My OH picked the hotel, came home with 3 menu choices and that was it.  Location and food were superb.  Honeymoon was 3 nights in a not plush hotel in Dublin.  Safari sounds infinitely better.  

I'm still trying to figure out how a cake costs anywhere close to 100K.  We haven't even gotton to 1K on AAM.


----------



## truthseeker (4 Oct 2012)

Purple said:


> Where'd you go on Safari?



I dont want to be too specific because it was unusual and I could be identified but it was a very luxurious place in South Africa - I could probably never afford to go there again. 

@Bronte - I had already attended around 30 or 40 weddings in the preceding 20 years before I got married myself and I just knew I would have hated a traditional style wedding. It wouldnt be me at all. We actually hadnt planned to elope but had planned a small registry office do with a meal in a restaurant for 15ish people, then the MIL began to interfere and started inviting great aunt bessie and her sons etc... so we just sidled off a few months early and came back married.


----------



## TRS30 (4 Oct 2012)

Bronte said:


> Well TRS30 can you beat €750 ?
> 
> Truthseeker, I so wish I'd done something like your wedding. I hated my own wedding. (sad smily - there's none on the options) But I'm so happy to be married.
> 
> ...


 
Nope, €480.


----------



## fobs (4 Oct 2012)

Ours was a present from my husbands godmother who worked for a bakery! Lovely cake.


----------



## Mongola (4 Oct 2012)

For entertainment purposes, you should have a look at Sylvia Weinstock's cakes, she is based in the States, of course.They are spectacular and indeed can come close to 100k, which is absolutely crazy. Another world altogether ....


----------



## ice (5 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Nope, €480.



Ours was $350 ....we eloped too


----------



## Bronte (8 Oct 2012)

Mongola said:


> For entertainment purposes, you should have a look at Sylvia Weinstock's cakes, she is based in the States, of course.They are spectacular and indeed can come close to 100k, which is absolutely crazy. Another world altogether ....


 
Well you were bank on the money there.  How did you even know such a person existed?

The picture of the cake in the Independant, well how did that cost 100K?  Edible flowers indeed, very expensive sugar one presumes.


----------



## bugler (8 Oct 2012)

Like almost any good, the very very expensive things in life tend to have no objective justification for the price. There are no possible ingredients that could make a cake cost that much. It is an ostentatious good.

Our cake was made for us by a family member in lieu of a wedding present.


----------



## Kkma (8 Oct 2012)

bugler said:


> There are no possible ingredients that could make a cake cost that much.


Pearls dissolved in vinegar? 

Our cake was made by a close friend too! No pearls!


----------



## Vanilla (8 Oct 2012)

Bronte said:


> Well you were bank on the money there. How did you even know such a person existed?
> 
> The picture of the cake in the Independant, well how did that cost 100K? Edible flowers indeed, very expensive sugar one presumes.


 
It seems to have been assembled by the maker and a team of assistants, flown in from New York according the the Independent. That bill must have been fairly hefty.


----------



## Teatime (8 Oct 2012)

I have to say I rarely ate the cake at a wedding. I think it was mainly the 'oul ones' that went for the cake. I would see it passed around alright but after sculling a few pints you'd have little interest in the cake. Remember you would already have had a long day of getting ready, travelling, mass, waiting around, formal dining, speeches etc so by the time the cake does the rounds you are more interested in having the craic, ceol agus ól. 
By midnight you would certainly be very keen to dive into a trough full of cocktail sausages and triangular sandwiches but cake, not for me.


----------



## liaconn (9 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Id love to be able to be materialistic!
> 
> Even with means though, I still wouldnt have done my own wedding any other way. I dont enjoy traditional weddings, too samey, tedious, too much emphasis on drinking, long boring parts in the middle of the day where you get hungry, etc.. I have been to many a wedding and none of them seemed to be 'special' and Id be hard pressed to remember one from another. So I wouldnt deem a traditional wedding to be worth spending a lot of money on, even if I had money to burn.


 
I agree with this. I started a thread on this topic a couple of years ago and was relieved to find that I am far from being the only person who finds traditional wedding receptions too long and very boring and dread having to go to them.

As for the couple who spent €100,000 on a wedding cake, that is obscene. Have these people no sense of perspective?


----------



## Delboy (9 Oct 2012)

liaconn said:


> ....As for the couple who spent €100,000 on a wedding cake, that is obscene. Have these people no sense of perspective?



and they put the cost of the cake and the wedding on the family company's books....as  a marketing cost
So to answer your question...Yes, they have a sense of perspective which is directly related to their sense of entitlement which derives from the way they country is run and governed (the elite are untouchables)


----------



## Yachtie (9 Oct 2012)

We didn't have a wedding cake. Most of them taste horrible anyway and we didn't want to spend a fortune on an ornament.


----------



## MrMan (9 Oct 2012)

Wedding cakes can consist of igredients to your liking, so you can have a chocolate fudge wedding cake if you like, theres no reason for not liking it if you choose the filling.


----------



## truthseeker (9 Oct 2012)

MrMan said:


> Wedding cakes can consist of igredients to your liking, so you can have a chocolate fudge wedding cake if you like, theres no reason for not liking it if you choose the filling.



Yeah, youre dead right. When I was a child I used to tell my mother I wanted a wedding cake made of swiss rolls (the height of fancy dining to me at age 7 ).


----------



## Bronte (10 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> . When I was a child I used to tell my mother I wanted a wedding cake made of swiss rolls (the height of fancy dining to me at age 7 ).


 
The best birthday present my OH received was a full swiss roll for himself.  He's always remembered it.  

I suppose if you're a billionaires daughter 100K isn't a lot on a cake.  I would have expected it to be more magnificent though and to have a fountain or something,.  

Apparently my own cake was American sponge, cream and fruit and was delicious, and less than 100 Euros.  I'll have to dig out the home made video to remember what it looked like but I've no video player anymore.  So it might take me a while.  

Just a thought, do brides spend more on the dress than the cake?   I have a sibling who paid 1K for a dress which I thought was a lot, must ask her how much the cake was, I don't recall any cake whatsoever and that wedding was in the last 10 years.


----------



## ney001 (10 Oct 2012)

Teatime said:


> I have to say I rarely ate the cake at a wedding. I think it was mainly the 'oul ones' that went for the cake.



Reminds me of my brother in laws wedding - It was my first 'country' wedding and there were 200 odd people there, the couple didn't know half of them.  I was sitting next to an old lady and she proceeded to pick up the plate of wedding cake which had been set in the middle of the table and she poured all of the slices into her handbag and closed it back up again.  She waited for about half an hour and then went around all the tables and cleaned up the cake that was left - putting it all into her handbag.  In fairness think she was the only one that actually bothered with the cake.  

I get very bored at weddings I have to say, half the time it is a bit of chore going but when friends invite you, you go and put a smile on for the day! My own wedding was very non traditional and more about close friends getting together (50 people) - that said i'm sure it wasn't to all my guests tastes but being good friends they stuck a smile on and went with it!


----------



## Nige (10 Oct 2012)

No wedding cake here either (or church or bridesmaids or best man or first dance).

I find traditional weddings tedious too but like ney001 I'm not so daft as to think that some of the smiling guests at my wedding weren't just being polite.


----------



## Birroc (10 Oct 2012)

ney001 said:


> I get very bored at weddings I have to say, half the time it is a bit of chore going but when friends invite you, you go and put a smile on for the day! My own wedding was very non traditional and more about close friends getting together (50 people) - that said i'm sure it wasn't to all my guests tastes but being good friends they stuck a smile on and went with it!


 
Truth be told I think most couples do not enjoy their wedding day especially for the larger white weddings. The lead up to the wedding right up until the church is very stressful and exhausting (for the women especially) and they almost always say that the day went too quickly.  You often hear that the bride or groom becomes ill after the wedding day or spends the first few days of the honeymoon in bed with exhaustion (and not the horizonal jogging type of exhaustion). Long haul flights dont help.

I was at a black tie wedding a few years ago with 2+ hours of photos and 2 hours of speeches (1 hour for the bride's father - utter waffle). Who could enjoy that?


----------



## truthseeker (10 Oct 2012)

Birroc said:


> Truth be told I think most couples do not enjoy their wedding day especially for the larger white weddings.



I agree. I was at a wedding recently where the bride was running about with an A4 sheet of 'order of events' and stressing about minor stuff. Herself and hubby had spent a fortune and were saying even the next morning that they hadnt enjoyed it.


----------



## MrMan (10 Oct 2012)

That really depends on the person. I had a ball at my wedding and my oh never left the dancefloor. we had a traditional wedding, and everything ran smoothly (after plenty of planning). Once the day kicked off, we both just went with the flow, speeches were over in about 20/25 mins, dinner served on time, and the band had the place rocking. We both felt from early on that if we worried about everything running 100% then we wouldn't enjoy it, so we did our planning and then put our day in the hands of others. 
Most of my friends had good weddings and it is probably down to the casual nature of the people involved.


----------



## Yachtie (10 Oct 2012)

Birroc said:


> Truth be told I think most couples do not enjoy their wedding day especially for the larger white weddings.



I think so too and that's why we had a very un-orthodox wedding. Our civil ceremony was administered in a castle where we had a five-course lunch with our immediate families and the closest of close friends (24 in total if I remember correctly) and then a bbq and dancing in the evening with more guests. There were no speeches, no cake and we even had to improvise the first dance as we haven't chosen the song. Instead of the frilly bits (seat covers sprinkled with fairy dust, etc.), we had the bar pre-paid to the tune of €3000 for a total of about 60 guests and another grand as a contingency. Our photos were taken by friends and family and even though there are about 800 photos on CDs, I haven't had a look at them nearly 4 years on. But everyone had a wonderful day because it was relaxed and no hanging around.


----------



## SarahMc (22 Oct 2012)

MrMan said:


> Wedding cakes can consist of igredients to your liking, so you can have a chocolate fudge wedding cake if you like, theres no reason for not liking it if you choose the filling.



I'm into folklore and symbolism, and take a piece of wedding cake to put under my pillow. My heart sinks when I see cupcakes or some other trendy variation. I'm not sure which is more horrific, fudge cake in my white cotton, or a 5k finger of cake.


----------



## truthseeker (22 Oct 2012)

SarahMc said:


> I'm into folklore and symbolism, and take a piece of wedding cake to put under my pillow.



Whats the purpose behind doing this?


----------



## SarahMc (22 Oct 2012)

It's a 17th century tradition. Ensures you dream of your true love ;-)


----------



## truthseeker (22 Oct 2012)

SarahMc said:


> It's a 17th century tradition. Ensures you dream of your true love ;-)



Jeez, my husband might not like me doing that


----------



## dmos87 (23 Oct 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Our 'post boom' wedding is costing 35K. There is no recession when it comes to weddings.
> 
> Cake is €480 however we are only have 150ish....




I can't get my head around this. We got married in February, cost was just over 11K total for everything. We had 137 guests after some declines.

There is a recession when it comes to weddings, but you need to work hard for the recession prices. Haggling definitely works, and remember who you know and who they know  

I am big into cakes, and so our wedding cake was also the dessert as I wanted something special. We had a 16in base tier of Belgian Chocolate Biscuit Cake, 14in 2nd Tier was Red Velvet Cake, 12in 3rd Tier was Chocolate Fudge, and finally the 10in top tier was traditional fruit cake. The caterers were happy to ensure each table was given a platter of slices to try, so everyone could help themselves to the dessert they wanted to taste and there was plenty of cream, strawberries, etc. etc. served to each table. So many people have since asked me about my cake for their day, it went down a storm.  

Cake was provided by a friend in the industry, we designed it together. Total cost came to 480, which for the dessert for 137 people and given its size was a great price.


----------



## Purple (23 Oct 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Jeez, my husband might not like me doing that



Yea, but he'd have to find out first


----------



## STEINER (29 Oct 2012)

Mine cost 500 euro back in 2005. traditional iced fruit cake from a bakery in Dun Laoghaire. a tier was kept until 2011 when it was perfectly edible.  my wife ate most of it.


----------



## Purple (30 Oct 2012)

STEINER said:


> . a tier was kept until 2011 when it was perfectly edible.  my wife ate most of it.



Yea, once they are married they can do that


----------



## TRS30 (1 Nov 2012)

dmos87 said:


> I can't get my head around this. We got married in February, cost was just over 11K total for everything. We had 137 guests after some declines.
> 
> There is a recession when it comes to weddings, but you need to work hard for the recession prices. Haggling definitely works, and remember who you know and who they know
> 
> ...


 
Guess it depends on where you get married, go on honeymoon etc. 

Considering you know no details about the wedding at all, I dont know why you cant 'get your head around it'.


----------



## dereko1969 (1 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Guess it depends on where you get married, go on honeymoon etc.
> 
> Considering you know no details about the wedding at all, I dont know why you cant 'get your head around it'.


 
Well considering you gave no details at all about your wedding it's not surprising that the poster had difficulty getting their heads around your statement that there were no recessions when it comes to weddings - perhaps value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad or any other reason but 35k for a wedding nowadays would be the exception I would think.


----------



## TRS30 (1 Nov 2012)

dereko1969 said:


> Well considering you gave no details at all about your wedding it's not surprising that the poster had difficulty getting their heads around your statement that there were no recessions when it comes to weddings - perhaps value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad or any other reason but 35k for a wedding nowadays would be the exception I would think.


 
With no details and so many variables involved a money amount on it's own is meanless and could represent great value for money just as 11k could be completely over the odds.


----------



## MrMan (2 Nov 2012)

dereko1969 said:


> Well considering you gave no details at all about your wedding it's not surprising that the poster had difficulty getting their heads around your statement that there were no recessions when it comes to weddings - perhaps value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad or any other reason but 35k for a wedding nowadays would be the exception I would think.



I wouldn't have thought so, when you factor in honeymoon I would say that alot of people pay 25-35k on a wedding. I think the national average was 25/27k, so if you have 300 guests, then the costs would push on. 
Value doesn't mean cheapest either, so you could pay €2500 for an excellent photographer that supplied a great package, or €1000 for a basic package, and a photographer with less ability. Same goes for music, etc.
€5000 seems to be the average when it comes to the honeymoon, so it all adds up.


----------



## Teatime (2 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> Value doesn't mean cheapest either, so you could pay €2500 for an excellent photographer that supplied a great package, or €1000 for a basic package, and a photographer with less ability.


 
It all depends on perspective - if you are the dope that has to sit there a few months later to go through every photo in the wedding album, to relive the magical (expensive) day again (and get value for money), then less photos is most definitely more!


----------



## dereko1969 (2 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Our 'post boom' wedding is costing 35K. There is no recession when it comes to weddings.
> 
> Cake is €480 however we are only have *150ish*....


 


MrMan said:


> I wouldn't have thought so, when you factor in honeymoon I would say that alot of people pay 25-35k on a wedding. I think the national average was 25/27k, so if you* have 300 guests*, then the costs would push on.
> Value doesn't mean cheapest either, so you could pay €2500 for an excellent photographer that supplied a great package, or €1000 for a basic package, and a photographer with less ability. Same goes for music, etc.
> €5000 seems to be the average when it comes to the honeymoon, so it all adds up.


 
TRS30 is having 150 guests, so half the amount that you are stating at 20% higher than average cost. Whether that's value or not is a moot point, it is very expensive. TRS30 has been very coy about giving any sort of details so impossible to tell whether it's value or not, but it is definitely expensive.

Maybe in my naivete I didn't think honeymoons counted as part of the spending on a wedding - it's separate to the "event" in my mind.


----------



## MrMan (2 Nov 2012)

Teatime said:


> It all depends on perspective - if you are the dope that has to sit there a few months later to go through every photo in the wedding album, to relive the magical (expensive) day again (and get value for money), then less photos is most definitely more!



You're obviously not as photogenic as me!


----------



## MrMan (2 Nov 2012)

dereko1969 said:


> TRS30 is having 150 guests, so half the amount that you are stating at 20% higher than average cost. Whether that's value or not is a moot point, it is very expensive. TRS30 has been very coy about giving any sort of details so impossible to tell whether it's value or not, but it is definitely expensive.
> 
> Maybe in my naivete I didn't think honeymoons counted as part of the spending on a wedding - it's separate to the "event" in my mind.



It's not really a moot point though is it, because you said that 'maybe value isn't important to you' implying that someone spending alot of money was wasting cash. It is expensive, but so is a BMW when compared to a Nissan, you can't gauge value when the product isn't exactly the same.


----------



## truthseeker (2 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> I wouldn't have thought so, when you factor in honeymoon I would say that alot of people pay 25-35k on a wedding. I think the national average was 25/27k, so if you have 300 guests, then the costs would push on.



I wouldnt factor in a honeymoon in the cost of a wedding, its a completely separate cost to the 'wedding'.

I wouldnt have thought many people at all spend 25-35k on a wedding, thats an enormous sum to my mind, I have attended the weddings of many of my friends and would be reasonably privy to what they paid both pre and post recession and I would have though the average was around 16-23k pre recession and now a lot lower.

Perhaps you move in more monied circles than me 

Where did you get the figure for the national average? Wonder does it include the honeymoon? It seems very high.


----------



## TRS30 (2 Nov 2012)

truthseeker said:


> I wouldnt factor in a honeymoon in the cost of a wedding, its a completely separate cost to the 'wedding'.
> 
> I wouldnt have thought many people at all spend 25-35k on a wedding, thats an enormous sum to my mind, I have attended the weddings of many of my friends and would be reasonably privy to what they paid both pre and post recession and I would have though the average was around 16-23k pre recession and now a lot lower.
> 
> ...


 
Main reason I got married was for the honeymoon so definitely included in the cost


----------



## dereko1969 (2 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> It's not really a moot point though is it, because you said that 'maybe value isn't important to you' implying that someone spending alot of money was wasting cash. *It is expensive*, but so is a BMW when compared to a Nissan, you can't gauge value when the product isn't exactly the same.


 
I don't know why you're disagreeing because you've agreed with my point that it is expensive, that's something that's not in doubt. 

Value is of course subjective and seeing as TRS30 hasn't invited us to the wedding, we'll never know if they got value!


----------



## truthseeker (2 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> Main reason I got married was for the honeymoon so definitely included in the cost



Romantic! And interesting. I wouldnt include it because most people go on a holiday in a given year, and a honeymoon is a holiday - albeit perhaps a more expensive one than usually taken.

Excluding honeymoon what would your estimate of the cost be? Feel free not to answer if you would rather not.


----------



## TRS30 (3 Nov 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Romantic! And interesting. I wouldnt include it because most people go on a holiday in a given year, and a honeymoon is a holiday - albeit perhaps a more expensive one than usually taken.
> 
> Excluding honeymoon what would your estimate of the cost be? Feel free not to answer if you would rather not.


 
I am not going to go into the specific of my wedding. I answered a question and gave a monetary figure in response to the OP post. 

Without any specific details certain people have implied that I am 'awash with money', 'value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad'. 

I guess internet forums are made for sweeping generalisations and baseless comments.


----------



## Teatime (4 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> There is no recession when it comes to weddings.


 
It might have been this generalisation that confused people.


----------



## MrMan (5 Nov 2012)

dereko1969 said:


> I don't know why you're disagreeing because you've agreed with my point that it is expensive, that's something that's not in doubt.
> 
> Value is of course subjective and seeing as TRS30 hasn't invited us to the wedding, we'll never know if they got value!


 
Again I will point out that I disagreed with your point that 'perhaps value wasn't an issue.


----------



## MrMan (5 Nov 2012)

truthseeker said:


> I wouldnt factor in a honeymoon in the cost of a wedding, its a completely separate cost to the 'wedding'.
> 
> I wouldnt have thought many people at all spend 25-35k on a wedding, thats an enormous sum to my mind, I have attended the weddings of many of my friends and would be reasonably privy to what they paid both pre and post recession and I would have though the average was around 16-23k pre recession and now a lot lower.
> 
> ...


 
You only have a honeymoon after a wedding so they go hand in hand really. 
People are funny when it comes to talking about what they spend, but from what I can see that no matter how big or small your wedding is, the cost of music, photo, video, dress, etc are the same and its only the dinner that varies. I checked the figure and the national average was €23,500.


----------



## truthseeker (5 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> You only have a honeymoon after a wedding so they go hand in hand really.



A honeymoon is only a nice holiday, most people have holidays every year or couple of years. Its just termed a 'honeymoon' after a wedding.

So 23.5k as the national average. Cant really comment without knowing whats included but if the honeymoon is included then that does sound about right.

All depends on what people want to do of course, Ive been to a lavish wedding where the couple only went to Westport for a week afterwards because they preferred to spend the money on the reception, whereas some people see it as the chance to do the holiday of a lifetime (I did). 

The main thing is that people are happy. Ive dozens of friends who now claim they didnt enjoy their wedding day much, not because of cost, but because of the formality and stress and doing things a certain way because thats what was expected. Id rather see two people do what they want to do and enjoy it.


----------



## MrMan (5 Nov 2012)

I understand what a honeymoon is, but it is generally viewed as an excuse to splurge that bit more than on a regular holiday, and often for a longer term.


----------



## truthseeker (5 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> I understand what a honeymoon is, but it is *generally* viewed as an excuse to splurge that bit more than on a regular holiday, and often for a longer term.



Disagree, "minimoons" have been the order of the day at at least half of the weddings I have attended in the past 3-4 years, as in, just a few days somewhere cheap-ish.


----------



## MrMan (6 Nov 2012)

Generally in my monied circles then. I've never even heard the term minimoon.


----------



## truthseeker (6 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> I've never even heard the term *minimoon*.



Yeah, its horrible isnt it. Although youd get the meaning.


----------



## Birroc (6 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> but from what I can see that no matter how big or small your wedding is, the cost of music, photo, video, dress, etc are the same and its only the dinner that varies.



I don't agree with this at all; in my experience, there is a large range of costs for music (church music + band + DJ), photographers (good v bad, large album v small album), video (professional v amateur), dress (only a man would say they all cost the same), flowers (some weddings spend crazy money on flowers), free round of drink (can be costly) and so on.


----------



## MrMan (6 Nov 2012)

Birroc said:


> I don't agree with this at all; in my experience, there is a large range of costs for music (church music + band + DJ), photographers (good v bad, large album v small album), video (professional v amateur), dress (only a man would say they all cost the same), flowers (some weddings spend crazy money on flowers), free round of drink (can be costly) and so on.



What I meant was that the size of the wedding party doesn't impact on the list that I laid out. You can pay anything for any service but a band won't charge you more because you are having 300 guests and i'm having 80, they will be the same price.


----------



## dereko1969 (7 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> I am not going to go into the specific of my wedding. I answered a question and gave a monetary figure in response to the OP post.
> 
> Without any specific details certain people have implied that I am 'awash with money', 'value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad'.
> 
> I guess internet forums are made for sweeping generalisations and baseless comments.


 
You're deliberately mis-representing my posts, I said that they were possible reasons but as you hadn't and still haven't given any details then they are all speculation.


----------



## TRS30 (7 Nov 2012)

dereko1969 said:


> You're deliberately mis-representing my posts, I said that they were possible reasons but as you hadn't and still haven't given any details then they are all speculation.


 
I don't belive I have since all your comment have been of the same nature, none implying the figure represents value for money.


----------



## truthseeker (7 Nov 2012)

TRS30 said:


> I don't belive I have since all your comment have been of the same nature, none implying the figure represents value for money.



Thats totally unfair. What dereko1969 actually said was:



dereko1969 said:


> ...*perhaps* value wasn't an issue for you, you didn't bargain, you just went mad *or any other reason* but 35k for a wedding nowadays would be the exception I would think.



After the above, where he states that there could be any other reason for such a high cost he consistently says that there is no way of telling whether or not there is value for money without knowing more details.



dereko1969 said:


> Whether that's value or not is a moot point, it is very expensive. TRS30 has been very coy about giving any sort of details so impossible to tell whether it's value or not, but it is definitely expensive.





dereko1969 said:


> Value is of course subjective and seeing as TRS30 hasn't invited us to the wedding, we'll never know if they got value!



If you are going to throw out a figure like 35k, then become all defensive because people offer the honest opinion that that sounds expensive, but refuse to furnish any other details, then what do you expect? How can anyone tell if its value for money or not? Given how defensive you seem to be Id be assuming that its hitting a nerve and that you dont feel its value for money yourself and that why you do not want to give more details - but that is only my assumption based on the posts made. It could be wonderful value for money - but as long as you dont give any detail to back up your initial figure, no one can tell.


----------



## MrMan (7 Nov 2012)

In fairness Truthseeker, the posts implied that TRS30 didn't care for value, otherwise it could have said 'Perhaps 35K was great value for what you received'
The other posts that you point to were responses to me, where I had said that value and cost did not always go hand in hand. 
Wedding days are special to some people, so it is only natural to get defensive, when posters take a negative view.


----------



## Purple (7 Nov 2012)

101 post about wedding cake. I wuddn't a thunk it possible!


----------



## TRS30 (8 Nov 2012)

truthseeker said:


> Thats totally unfair. What dereko1969 actually said was:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
I was only referring to posts directed to me. 

Not in the least defensive, again an assumtpion. I am quite happy with all aspects of my wedding including the cost; however you will have to take my word for it.


----------



## dereko1969 (9 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> In fairness Truthseeker, the posts implied that TRS30 didn't care for value, otherwise it could have said 'Perhaps 35K was great value for what you received'
> The other posts that you point to were responses to me, where I had said that value and cost did not always go hand in hand.
> Wedding days are special to some people, so it is only natural to get defensive, when posters take a negative view.


 


TRS30 said:


> I was only referring to posts directed to me.
> 
> Not in the least defensive, again an assumtpion. I am quite happy with all aspects of my wedding including the cost; however you will have to take my word for it.


 
I think people are mis-interpreting what I wrote, Truthseeker has outlined the caveats I included, people will read what they want to into text, nothing I can do about that.

It just seems odd to me that someone would come into a discussion about weddings, state that there is no recessions in weddings and give no justification for that statement even to the extent that the hotel/caterer etc wouldn't budge on price. 

Perhaps I'm mis-reading what TRS30 meant by the statement that there was no recession in weddings, but at this stage I'm bored of not getting any details so we'll just have to accept a blanket - me happy - statement.


----------



## MrMan (9 Nov 2012)

Why would anyone want to post personal details? 
I took the 'no recession' statement to be that such things as a band can charge €1500+ for a wedding when they might only get €300 for a pub gig, and a wedding dress is still a wedding dress. You can get better deals on the dinner package, but it's far from cheap.


----------



## TRS30 (9 Nov 2012)

Wedding soon so going to drop out of this discussion. 100+ posts about weddings is probably about 100 too much


----------



## dereko1969 (12 Nov 2012)

MrMan said:


> Why would anyone want to post personal details?
> I took the 'no recession' statement to be that such things as a band can charge €1500+ for a wedding when they might only get €300 for a pub gig, and a wedding dress is still a wedding dress. You can get better deals on the dinner package, but it's far from cheap.


 
I wasn't asking for personal details, just some justification for the statement "there's no recession when it comes to weddings", that's all.


----------



## dereko1969 (12 Nov 2012)

In any event, TRS30, have a great wedding and married life.


----------

