# Mother's rights to family home



## fatfrog (30 Jul 2008)

My parents have lived in the family home for over 30 years, my father wants to demolish the house and build a few houses on the site.  This would involve demolishing half the exisiting house and starting work on one of the new one's and would mean my parents living in the building site while the first house is built.  After the first one is built my parents would move into the new house and my father would demolish the rest of the family house and start work on the remaining 2 houses.  Now my mother does not want this to happen but my father is a very demanding man and basically what he says goes.  What rights does she have?  Can she do anything to stop him?


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## ClubMan (30 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Any use (from _CitizensInformation_):

*Family home 
**[broken link removed] 					*


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## ney001 (30 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



fatfrog said:


> My parents have lived in the family home for over 30 years, my father wants to demolish the house and build a few houses on the site.  This would involve demolishing half the exisiting house and starting work on one of the new one's and would mean my parents living in the building site while the first house is built.  After the first one is built my parents would move into the new house and my father would demolish the rest of the family house and start work on the remaining 2 houses.  Now my mother does not want this to happen but my father is a very demanding man and basically what he says goes.  What rights does she have?  Can she do anything to stop him?




Will your dad need to take out loans/re-mortgage existing house to build these three houses?, if so he will need your mothers agreement provided they jointly own the house - could she just refuse to take out a loan, or refuse to remortgage house/use it for security?


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## mf1 (30 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

That is a very misleading title. What you are actually asking ( my reading)is how do a couple cope when one party feels like a doormat all the time and resents it and the other takes no account of their spouses feelings, in the happy knowledge that they know best? But thats the way its always been. 

"Can she do anything to stop him?"
Well she could say no. Refuse. Decline. Put her foot down.  Would he go ahead anyway? She could subsequently refuse to sign any of the Family Law Declarations making it impossible for him to sell the properties. How helpful would that be?

She could issue Judicial Separation proceedings and seek an order preventing him from demolishing their family home. But does she want a separation or does she just want him to hear her voice?

She could talk to him and express her reservations and see would it be possible to rent alternative accomodation while the works are being done. 

The family could talk to him and try and explain their mother's reservations.

mf


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## truthseeker (30 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Have to agree with MF1 - she can simply say no. Why is the law needed to back her up? If relations are not good between them using the law to prevent him from demolishing the house and building more houses is not going to improve them.


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## miselemeas (30 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Your father may also be making provision for retirement, pension, or income for your mother in the event of his falling ill etc. Have you spoken to him? 

At the end of the day it would appear that your mother will have a new home which will probably be easier to look after.  I appreciate that she is loathe to part with her home of 30 years but maybe a bit of flexibility on both parts is called for here. It's good to be open to new experiences - _“All life is an experiment.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson - _.  Is she prepared to put her furniture into storage and move into rented accommodation while the build is in progress, which could speed things up, and is he prepared to foot the bill? 

If that isn't practicable, maybe you could sit both of them down and discuss the pros and cons until they come to an agreement.


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## Bronte (31 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Could one house be built before demolising the family home and they could move into that and then continue with the build, would your mother be agreeable to this, can they not talk to each other.  What is the reason the mother doesn't want to demolish the family home?


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## Maread (31 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

I have to say I'm surprised at the responses to this post.  The Family Home Protection Act was brought in to protect married women who did not work outside the home and may have spent the best part of their lives looking after their (often large) families.  If the OP's mother was economically active and had her name on the house her wants would obviously be taken more seriously.  Some of the responses imply that the lady is behaving like a petulent child for not wanting to leave the home she's lived in for 30 years.  How dare she be so stubborn!!

Imagine if a young professional woman posted on this forum looking for advice because her husband wanted to sell the roof over her head.   I think the responses would be a lot different....

Fatfrog, there's no way your mother can be forced into this I'm sure.  It's 2008.  You or your mother could quietly see a solicitor to confirm this.


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## ClubMan (31 Jul 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



Maread said:


> Some of the responses imply that the lady is behaving like a petulent child for not wanting to leave the home she's lived in for 30 years.  How dare she be so stubborn!!


I can't see how you came to that conclusion having read the previous posts a second time looking for something along those lines.


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## sparkeee (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

i think the man is the breadwinner and should have the say.


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## annR (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



> Now my mother does not want this to happen but my father is a very demanding man and basically what he says goes. What rights does she have? Can she do anything to stop him?



I agree with Maread. Some of the posts are along the lines of maybe they should talk or maybe it's a good idea and she should consider it   . .  . seems to me from the OPs post that talking to the husband will be of little use and that she will need to be aware of her legal rights if she wants to stop him demolishing the family home.


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## Bronte (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Legal rights are all very well and good, the OP is looking for solutions.  We don't know the reason the mother doesn't want to move and yes maybe she is being stubborn but also maybe the father is domineering, at the end of the day they have to sort it out and talking is a good start.  Marriage is about compromise as far as I'm aware.  If she goes down the family home protection act she may end up in a house that is failing down around her and a husband who won't speak to her and can make things very unconfortable for her if she has no income - these unfortunately are the realities of life.


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## truthseeker (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



Maread said:


> Some of the responses imply that the lady is behaving like a petulent child for not wanting to leave the home she's lived in for 30 years. How dare she be so stubborn!!


 
I dont see where these implications are?

I think that if the lady in question goes down a legal route without even discussing the situation with her husband she may end up in a worse position,  he could take major exception to her seeing a solicitor and she might end up facing a seperation and division of assets.

Surely as an adult the woman can express her point of view to her husband? If she cannot then that is a completely different issue and one that needs to be addressed before worrying about homes being demolished or new ones being built.


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## annR (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*

Well the lady has been married to him for 30 years, I think she knows by now better than us whether reasonable discussion with him is on the cards or not.  From the OPs post I gathered not.


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## truthseeker (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



annR said:


> Well the lady has been married to him for 30 years, I think she knows by now better than us whether reasonable discussion with him is on the cards or not. From the OPs post I gathered not.


 
So you think that going behind his back and using a solicitor against him is a better option?


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## mf1 (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



truthseeker said:


> So you think that going behind his back and using a solicitor against him is a better option?



Ah now - thats a bit extreme!

What is wrong with educating herself about her position, rights and entitlements? 

And can I be clear - the first thing the solicitor will ask is - have you tried discussing this with him? And if not, do you not think you should?  And if you have, and he ignored you  ( or whatever) then here are your options, what is it you want to do and what is is you want to achieve? 

Its up to her what she does. 

mf


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## truthseeker (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



mf1 said:


> Ah now - thats a bit extreme!
> 
> What is wrong with educating herself about her position, rights and entitlements?
> 
> ...


 
i agree with you 100% - but if the lady cant talk to her husband about the issue as it stands now, she is hardly likely to be able to tell him she is going to a solicitor about it.


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## mf1 (1 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



truthseeker said:


> i agree with you 100% - but if the lady cant talk to her husband about the issue as it stands now, she is hardly likely to be able to tell him she is going to a solicitor about it.



After seeing a solicitor, she might be better informed /more confident/clearer about what her options are and the likely fallout of any action she might take and she might just decide to go with the flow! Then she never needs to tell him she's seen a  solicitor.

mf


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## ney001 (2 Aug 2008)

fatfrog said:


> My parents have lived in the family home for over 30 years, my father wants to demolish the house and build a few houses on the site.  This would involve demolishing half the exisiting house and starting work on one of the new one's and would mean my parents living in the building site while the first house is built.  After the first one is built my parents would move into the new house and my father would demolish the rest of the family house and start work on the remaining 2 houses.  Now my mother does not want this to happen but my father is a very demanding man and basically what he says goes.  What rights does she have?  Can she do anything to stop him?



What about you Fatfrog - can you get both parties talking about this or can you approach your father? - I would suggest doing everything you can to deal with this within the family before going down the route of solicitors etc.


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## Staples (6 Aug 2008)

*Re: Mothers rights to family home*



Bronte said:


> Legal rights are all very well and good, the OP is looking for solutions.


 

No, the OP asked about her rights.

If the father is as rigid as presented here, she would indeed benefit from knowing where she stands legally i.e. whether a co-owner under law or merely someone with an automatic entitlement to inheritence should the husband die. If it's the former, she simply has to refuse consent. If it's the latter, she's exposed. 

I don't know the answer but it sounds like something the local citizens information service could address.


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