Wife wants husband sectioned and house

S

Shelleyb

Registered User
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Hi there,
Hope someone can give me some advice on this. My father's recently got back contact with his estranged brother who has a history of manic depression and who unfortunately attempted suicide some months ago. We have now learnt a lot about his life with his wife and daughters, and are horrified. One of the daughters is in financial difficulty and wants to move into the family home with her husband and children. His wife also wants to remain but wants her husband out. She is trying to have him sectioned and making all sorts of allegations to achieve it. He has always been a very gentle man. He was recently threatened for money by his daughter's husband and handed over 500+ euro. There is also a rumour that his daughter deliberately pushed him down the stairs a few years ago. He does not want to leave his home - it is all such a mess but my main issue is my father who is distraught over his brother and wants to know if he can block this possible sectioning or even if he can do anything at all. His brother is doing very well but with the conditions he is living under he will not stay like that forever as he needs support which his own family can no longer give him. I appreciate that living with someone for 40 years with this disorder is harrowing and I also appreciate that his family have had enough but he is their father, he is not a bad man and deserves understanding, kindness and support which in 40 years he has never received. Sorry if this is a bit garbled!
S
 
Shelleyb said:
Hi there,
Hope someone can give me some advice on this. My father's recently got back contact with his estranged brother who has a history of manic depression and who unfortunately attempted suicide some months ago. We have now learnt a lot about his life with his wife and daughters, and are horrified. One of the daughters is in financial difficulty and wants to move into the family home with her husband and children. His wife also wants to remain but wants her husband out. She is trying to have him sectioned and making all sorts of allegations to achieve it. He has always been a very gentle man. He was recently threatened for money by his daughter's husband and handed over 500+ euro. There is also a rumour that his daughter deliberately pushed him down the stairs a few years ago. He does not want to leave his home - it is all such a mess but my main issue is my father who is distraught over his brother and wants to know if he can block this possible sectioning or even if he can do anything at all. His brother is doing very well but with the conditions he is living under he will not stay like that forever as he needs support which his own family can no longer give him. I appreciate that living with someone for 40 years with this disorder is harrowing and I also appreciate that his family have had enough but he is their father, he is not a bad man and deserves understanding, kindness and support which in 40 years he has never received. Sorry if this is a bit garbled!
S
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From an objective viewpoint:

How do you know the allegations that the wife are making are not true?
How do you know he was threatened for money?
The 'rumour' may be just that - a rumour.

All Im saying is that unless you had to live in the house yourself you do not really know what goes on behind closed doors. I think that your father interfering here would be the worst thing to do. Unless your father is willing to have his brother live with him he should stay out of it.
The fact your father was estranged from the brother himself speaks volumes - he was not able to have a relationship with him, so he obviously does not really know what was going on.
 
There are three sides to every story.
However if this is true then it is a form of elder abuse. Contact one of the HSE Elder Abuse Case Officers

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Thank you to both posters. True there are two sides to everything and I don't really know if the allegations (on both sides) are true! However, I do know the brothers were estranged due to the wife. In fact there is a lot of family history I cannot go into here. I am mainly worried for my father and the effect this is having on him but I will contact the HSE for advice, its a start and may be they will point my father in the right direction - many thanks.
 
It is extremely difficult to get anyone sectioned these days. Even for medical professionals so I wouldn't worry about that threat. Best advice is to get legal advice so he is protected and contact the HSE.
 
Shelleyb said:
Thank you to both posters. True there are two sides to everything and I don't really know if the allegations (on both sides) are true! However, I do know the brothers were estranged due to the wife. In fact there is a lot of family history I cannot go into here. I am mainly worried for my father and the effect this is having on him but I will contact the HSE for advice, its a start and may be they will point my father in the right direction - many thanks.
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I would have to ask why the man wants to stay in a house with his wife behaving this way towards him - can they not seperate? There is clearly more to the story - but I can guarantee you from personal experience that outside interference, however well meaning, is rarely appreciated, and unfortunately it often happens with well meaning outsiders not fully aware of the facts of what is really happening.
 
It is very important that the man in question has some external support, particularly if he feels (rightly or wrongly) that his immediate family are out to get him.
 
Thank you to everyone for your posts, they have all been helpful and I have taken on board everything that has been said - many thanks again - appreciated!
 
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