Wife cheats leaves family home now wants me out

W

willman1

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Im a nervous wreck. My wife cheated on me, left the family home got an apartment and took our 15 year old daughter with her. She works full time and so do I. Now 4 months later reality has hit her and she is finding it hard financially. She summoned me for maintanence, then I summoned her for custody and access. Now I got a summons for a barring order, I cant believe her. She told me she was going to get me thrown out of the family home by serving a barring order on me. She does not live in the family home as she deserted me. Are the laws crazy enough to let her lie her way to getting a barring order on me and getting me thrown out of my own house? By the way I have not seen her in 4 months and I just got the summons today, is it not sticking out that she is lying because I have had no contact with her in the last 4 months. She is claming she is in fear of her life and was subjected to voilent abuse, which is clearly not true as I have not even seen her. She threatened to get me done in twice, and told me to be careful when Im driving this is a death threat. This woman is going to abuse the system to get me thrown out of my own home .....Please help as I dont know what to do
 
willman1 said:
Im a nervous wreck. My wife cheated on me, left the family home got an apartment and took our 15 year old daughter with her. She works full time and so do I. Now 4 months later reality has hit her and she is finding it hard financially. She summoned me for maintanence, then I summoned her for custody and access. Now I got a summons for a barring order, I cant believe her. She told me she was going to get me thrown out of the family home by serving a barring order on me. She does not live in the family home as she deserted me. Are the laws crazy enough to let her lie her way to getting a barring order on me and getting me thrown out of my own house? By the way I have not seen her in 4 months and I just got the summons today, is it not sticking out that she is lying because I have had no contact with her in the last 4 months. She is claming she is in fear of her life and was subjected to voilent abuse, which is clearly not true as I have not even seen her. She threatened to get me done in twice, and told me to be careful when Im driving this is a death threat. This woman is going to abuse the system to get me thrown out of my own home .....Please help as I dont know what to do
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Sorry to hear this, as the above poster has said get a solicitor. If you like drop me a PM as I know of someone who is very pro active and experienced in these matters, I can give you her number if needs be. She represented a friend and family member and the end result was good.

Oh and under no circumstances move out of the house.
The house will have to be sorted but you have rights and she wont be able to put you out. But you will have to go down the legal route IMO.
 
I'm afraid that you are heading into very messy and stressful territory.
The first thing the Courts will want to look after is the welfare of the child.
It will be very important that you keep records of any financial support which you may give to your estranged wife and child.
In fact keep a record of all activities, exchanges with your wife, expenses etc.
And of course get good legal advice.
 
It might also be worth talking to AMEN.


AMEN is a voluntary group which provides a confidential helpline, information
and a support service for male victims of domestic abuse and their children[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]<STRONG><FONT size=1><FONT color=#000080>[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]AMEN, St. Anne's Resource Centre, Railway Street, Navan, Co. Meath, Republic of Ireland.
[/FONT]<FONT face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tel. & Fax:
 
Hi willman,

I am very sorry to hear of your situation. The best thing you can do is stay calm, and go to see your solicitor. The system will not reward someone who lies like this, but you must stay cool and be scrupulously honest in your own dealings with the court. It is surprising sometimes how obvious it is to third parties (including the judge) when someone is lying and the other is telling the truth. Whatever you do don't go to her level. Stick to the truth and deal with her only through your solicitor. Good luck,

Kate.
 
Hey man, sorry for your trouble. My ex said the same thing to me about going to the police about me for no reason, but she didnt know that I had a phone conversation with her boyfriend about conspiring to have me removed from the family home recorded

Get a tap on your phone, Call her and lure her into threathening you on the phone, she might be so stupid as to spill her lies over the phone. This can be a great way to hold her lies over her btw the gardai dont want to know about domestic disputes.

When it goes pear shaped the gloves come off, so my friend be strong and thing of #1 ! plus get legal advice and give her no reason to go to the police etc. The thruth shall set you free but just in case have it recorded on a phone conversation

T
 
Stay calm when dealing with your ex. Shes obviously very unstable and out for everything she can get. Someone I know was sucker punched by his ex. He gripped her arms lightly to protect himself from being slapped as she went into a violent fit without any provocation. She then called the guards and used bruises on her arms she had self inflicted to charge him with assault and hence get a barring order. Even a proportional response in self defense can leave a bruise leading to questions and people/the guards often dont see the other side of the story in such cases. Its a case of even the most gentle of men can be judged unfairly just because they are physically stronger.
If things go that way for you dont even touch her in self defense to protect yourself or lose your cool whatsoever. Just get out of there fast.
 
phone amen, right away... keep calm, don't be provoked.
046 9023 718 ask for Sandra if she's there. Great advice.
 
bullworth said:
Stay calm when dealing with your ex. Shes obviously very unstable and out for everything she can get. Someone I know was sucker punched by his ex. He gripped her arms lightly to protect himself from being slapped as she went into a violent fit without any provocation. She then called the guards and used bruises on her arms she had self inflicted to charge him with assault and hence get a barring order. Even a proportional response in self defense can leave a bruise leading to questions and people/the guards often dont see the other side of the story in such cases. Its a case of even the most gentle of men can be judged unfairly just because they are physically stronger.
If things go that way for you dont even touch her in self defense to protect yourself or lose your cool whatsoever. Just get out of there fast.
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Gards explained to a friend of mine before (who was beaten up by his ex) that there is no "self defence" for men in the law book but if he would even dare to push her out of the door to protect himself, she has an assault case against him. It's ridiculous!!!
 
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Folks this thread was started well over a year ago, I doubt any of the advice given today or yesterday is relevant to the OP any more.
 
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