Seem to be in a downward spiral.....

[ailbhe]

Age: 27
Spouse’s/Partner's age: n/a

Monthly net income from employment or profession: 1950
FIS of €38 per week (165 per month)
Child benefit of €150 per month

Total monthly income 2265

Type of employment: employee in private co

In general I am struggling to balance the books

Outgoings per month

Rent 600
Personal loans of 20k @ 405 per month
ESB - 60 per month (slightly in arrears of about €100)

Insurance €84 per month until September then no cost until December
Creche fees €325 per month
Sky 28 per month
O2 broadband €20 per month needed for work
Phone bill in 70- 100 being paid off (arrears of about €250 - plus €50 per month needed for work - no house phone)
Child swimming lessons - 35
Car tax - 44 per month (trying to downsize car)
Petrol - 80 per month
Tv licence 13 per month
Groceries 215 per month
Fuel 100 per month

Total monthly outgoings 2111

Balance 150


Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month? No
If not, what is the balance on your credit card? 1000 (paying approx €70 per month)

Savings and investments: None

Do you have a pension scheme? No

Ages of children: 7

Life insurance: none


What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?

By my budget I should be doing ok. But I've been hit by one thing after another recently and I just can't seem to get back on top again. I had a car accident over the bad spell and my car is a write off and I HAVE to get another so need to get about 500 together in the next few months.
I also have to sit exams for my job which are 300. My employers will reimburse me once I pass but that won't be until June.

I am constantly chasing my tail and trying desperately not to get any deeper in debt. I'm just sick over everything, not eating or sleeping. I don't know what to do. I've cut my costs back to a bare minimum. Our only "luxuries" are sky and swimming lessons. We don't have treats in our house so I'd really like to hold onto those if at all possible but I'm not sure what else to do.
I'm also sick with worry over the proposed pension enforcement the government want to bring in. Things are to the wire at the moment as it stands.

 

[missdaisy]

Hi ailbhe. One bit of advice continually given here is to start a spending diary. Keep track of everything you spend so you know precisely what goes where.

What is the situation with your personal loan repayment? How long more do you have to make the repayment?

Is there anyway you can reduce your rent?

 

[harriet]

Sorry your finding the going so tough Ailbhe. Might be a stupid suggestion but do your employers know how tight things are and could they pay your exam fees now on the proviso of you paying them back if you don't pass. You also mention broadband being needed for work, again I know it is a relatively small amount but can you not claim that back in expenses from them. Would almost cover your Sky bill at least

 

[ailbhe]

Hi ailbhe. One bit of advice continually given here is to start a spending diary. Keep track of everything you spend so you know precisely what goes where.

What is the situation with your personal loan repayment? How long more do you have to make the repayment?

Is there anyway you can reduce your rent?

I do the diary already. I basically spend nothing all week aside from my trip to the supermarket to do the weekly shop. I bring my lunch with me to work, don't buy newspapers etc. Aside from that, once a week I buy a loaf of bread and a litre of milk.

I got my rent reduced from 700 to 600 over the last 18 months (first reduction in 08 and another in late 09).

My loan was renegotiated last year to consolidate after I split with my partner so I'm only about a year into it. It's over 7 years which was their absolute max. I technically have a mortage too although my ex partner is paying that so it doesn't affect my outgoings but it does affect my ability to borrow. (house is for sale, he lives there)

 

[ailbhe]

Sorry your finding the going so tough Ailbhe. Might be a stupid suggestion but do your employers know how tight things are and could they pay your exam fees now on the proviso of you paying them back if you don't pass. You also mention broadband being needed for work, again I know it is a relatively small amount but can you not claim that back in expenses from them. Would almost cover your Sky bill at least

I asked about that before and they refused (the broadband). I asked them to pay the fee for the exam and they have offered to pay it but reduce my wages by 100 for the next 3 months which is looking like the most likely option but means the next 3 months will be hellish.

I've cut right back on everything, I've sold anything valuable and I just feel like there's nowhere else I can go with this. I'm working full time and for what? For a lifestyle that feels boderline poverty-like.

I've been trying to find the childs dad but no joy so far. I always thought that might be more hassle than it was worth but at this stage I'm desperate enough.
However, he's an elusive creature

 

[missdaisy]

Just a few more questions. What is your fuel cost? Is this heating? I notice you have ESB and petrol separately. If it is fuel do you have the option to use gas in the house? A gas bill to heat the house would not be €100 per month.

Secondly, what is the insurance paymnet of €84 per month for? It's possibly health insurance, if not do you really need it?

You say your broadband is necessary for work? Do you work from home? If you do, do you need creche payment?

 

[missdaisy]

Will you be getting a % of the proceeds from the sale of the house your ex partner is currently living in?

 

[ailbhe]

Just a few more questionss. What is your fuel cost? Is this heating? I notice you have ESB and petrol separately. If it is fuel do you have the option to use gas in the house? A gas bill to heat the house would not be €100 per month.

Secondly, what is the insurance paymnet of €84 per month for? It's possibly health insurance, if not do you really need it?

You say your broadband is necessary for work? Do you work from home? If you do, do you need creche payment?

Fuel cost is oil central heating.
Petrol is for the car.
ESB is for lighting etc.

Insurance payment is a combination of my car insurance, my own contents insurance and my house that I own insurance (half this cost)
In total its 710 per year over 9 months plus interest.

I work out of the home but I have to study and complete online hours in relation to my position which have to be done on my own time.

 

[harriet]

Thats a bit unfair of them not to cover your broadband if it is for work related purposes.

Is there anyway of making a bit of extra outside of work.

I know you have a child which doesn't make it easier but I have a friend who does ironing for people and does it when her kids are in bed.

 

[ailbhe]

Will you be getting a % of the proceeds from the sale of the house your ex partner is currently living in?

We bought 2 years ago. Mortgage is €280k. House was worth about 340k but is now worth about 270k.

If the market picks up and the house sells for a profit then I am protected in terms of this. We drew up a legal agreement when I moved out.

 

[ailbhe]

Thats a bit unfair of them not to cover your broadband if it is for work related purposes.

Is there anyway of making a bit of extra outside of work.

I know you have a child which doesn't make it easier but I have a friend who does ironing for people and does it when her kids are in bed.

Thats a good idea. I've advertised as a babysitter but had no luck yet.
I could also do bar work which I did in a previous life lol, but the cost of a sitter would eat into any wages, my FIS would be reduced, medical card may be withdrawn etc.

 

[missdaisy]

The fuel cost should reduce over the next few months as we are out of the cold spell.

Will your studies be fully over this summer?

 

[ailbhe]

The fuel cost should reduce over the next few months as we are out of the cold spell.

Will your studies be fully over this summer?

The fule cost is averaged out over the 12 months. I put in 200 in Nov, 200 in january and just put in 300 there this month.
Will prob do me until April/May and I'll put in another 250 and then another 250 in September. Might be able to get by on less than that.

I've another exam in 6 months (where I pay 300 and am reimbursed when I pass) and I'm done then but I will have to participate in ongoing training which costs about €150 per annum after that which will not be reimbursed.

 

[Frank]

I know this may seem very negative.
But no doubt someone here will know.

As you mentioned Aibhe you are working very hard to stand still just.

I worked with a girl that decided she was better off not working.

Again I know it may seem negative but it seemed like the elephant in the room.

Best of luck getting through this.

 

[Noor77]

Hi Ailbhe

Have you ever received maintenance from your child's Father? Even if you could get a maintenance order for €50 a week it would really ease the pressure on you. Also, if you were able to get some maintenance money you should seriously consider getting some life insurance, for your own peace of mind.

Could you maybe work mornings only? You would save on the creche fees then. Or, is there a family member that might do the minding for say €200 a month? A friend of mine has a brother who was made redundant last year and he now minds her two kids until 2pm on weekdays. He takes significantly less from her than a non-family member would and he actually enjoys it!

I notice on your list of ougoings that you don't list any expenditure for socialising. I know you probably don't get a chance to go out much but even if you could have an evening to yourself once or twice a month it would do you the world of good.

Don't beat yourself up too much. You seem to have your head screwed on and the fact that you are looking for ways to improve your situation is half the battle.

Noor

 

[ailbhe]

Have you ever received maintenance from your child's Father? Even if you could get a maintenance order for €50 a week it would really ease the pressure on you. Also, if you were able to get some maintenance money you should seriously consider getting some life insurance, for your own peace of mind.

No I never have. I haven't seen him since I was a few months pregnant. He doesn't want to be found.
I have life insurance for the mortgage only which is included in the mortgage payment/attached to it, so my ex is paying that although I'm not sure he knows that. I won't mention it lol. In the event of my death the mortgage would be paid off and my daughter would have half the house.

Could you maybe work mornings only? You would save on the creche fees then. Or, is there a family member that might do the minding for say €200 a month? A friend of mine has a brother who was made redundant last year and he now minds her two kids until 2pm on weekdays. He takes significantly less from her than a non-family member would and he actually enjoys it!

I broached mornings only with my employers but they weren't interested at all. It works out much of a muchness anyway really. I would get a reduced OPFA and FIS and wages but would only save on creche. There is potential for progression in my current job, stability and good hours to suit family life (mon to fri, no bank holidays etc). A mornings only office job would be a needle in a haystack in this economy.
I don't leave near any family. My nearest relative is over 2 hours away. I moved here to be with my ex but stayed because of work and my daughters school etc.

I notice on your list of ougoings that you don't list any expenditure for socialising. I know you probably don't get a chance to go out much but even if you could have an evening to yourself once or twice a month it would do you the world of good.

Don't beat yourself up too much. You seem to have your head screwed on and the fact that you are looking for ways to improve your situation is half the battle.

Noor

I get out now and then. Usually a few drinks at the house before heading out. Last time I was out was about a month ago so not too bad. I try to have a night out once a month or so even if it is on the cheap.


On a plus note, a good friend of mine has offered to sub me the money for the exam so the pressure is on to pass to get her the money back lol but she's happy to wait for it until after the exam.

I've also emailed the bank to ask if I can skip next months loan payment and tag it on to the end or bump up my payments for a few months to pay it. Going to use it to buy a cheap car. As I told them no car = no job = no wages so.........

I'll see what they come back with.

Thanks guys. It all just gets a bit much sometimes. Slogging it out over a full time job, study etc and still having nothing within a few days of payday. But then again, I've a warm house and food on the table and I don't have anyone knocking on my door looking for payments so I'm in a much better position than most.

My optimism returns.....

 

[annR]

Ailbhe

You sound like you're doing great although it's tough. The areas that jump out at me are
- I think your employers are being a bit harsh by not paying for anything with annual ongoing training of E150 pa and also the broadband - but hopefully you will be able to reap the benefits in the future in terms of job progression?
- the fuel costs seem high - are you using the immersion or something
- there must be some process whereby you can get some official help with locating your daughter's Dad

 

[ailbhe]

Ailbhe

You sound like you're doing great although it's tough. The areas that jump out at me are
- I think your employers are being a bit harsh by not paying for anything with annual ongoing training of E150 pa and also the broadband - but hopefully you will be able to reap the benefits in the future in terms of job progression?
- the fuel costs seem high - are you using the immersion or something
- there must be some process whereby you can get some official help with locating your daughter's Dad

- I agree but my employers aren't the most flexible people in the world. But its a secure job which is scarce these days so I amn't going to push it.
-ESB is about 50 per month and fuel costs(central heating including the cold spell we had) work out at about €100 per month. I prefer to overestimate by a little than underestimate because heat is pretty important. I don't use the immersion, I'm fairly good at turning off lights etc. The dryer is probably the biggest cost in terms of the ESB bill but I tried drying clothes in the house a couple of years ago and started getting mould. I have no back garden and amn't allowed put anything in the front (management agency rules). I probably do about 4 loads of washing a week and use the dryer for those.
-I gave what details I had to Social welfare a few years back, when I initially had my daughter and applied for OPFA. They didn't do anything with them (work addresses and dates). He had moved on and not left forwarding details, he changed his phone number and I tried getting his details myself from his employers but they wouldn't give them.

I've googled him, checked for him on facebook etc but nothing has shown up.

 

[pinkyBear]

Hi there, can you get in contact with his family. They may be willing to help you encourage him to take a bit more responcibility.

your daughter is their grand child..

 

[ailbhe]

Hi there, can you get in contact with his family. They may be willing to help you encourage him to take a bit more responcibility.

your daughter is their grand child..

I don't know them. We were both in college together and working together but from different parts of the country. I know the area where he is from but it's a Dublin area so the scope is vast.

He doesn't want to be found. I have the same phone number, am on facebook with a profile pic of me, am still in touch with people in my old workplace. He could find me if he wanted.

He told me when I told him I was pregnant that he had a fiancee and a child in his home town already (never mentioned them in the year I knew him!).
I don't think, even if I did find him, that he'd be much help.