mom's dictionary

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icantbelieveitstaken

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new to me, maybe not to you

** Mom's Dictionary **

FAMILY PLANNING:

The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart

to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FULL NAME:

What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:

The people who think your children are wonderful even though

they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

PUDDLE:

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing

dry clothes into it.

SHOW OFF:

A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:

What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and

to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:

When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those

familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:

Able to whine in words.

WEEKEND:

When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the

laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
 
if only

WEEKEND:
When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the
laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.
That's very sexist. If only it were true!
 
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