learning about contents of a will

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ACA said:
The other two brothers are ganging up on my Mum - DEMANDING to see the will and using everything they can think of to 'guilt' her into asking their father to change his will.
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I think it sad that your grandfather is playing games. You say that 10 years ago he told you the contents of his will but he wouldn't tell his own two sons.
Why do you think he did that?
 
ACA said:
He worked hard to provide for his family, why shouldn't he enjoy the fruits of his labours? What right has anyone to it?
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This comment is not making sense. My understanding from your posts is that two brothers want to know the contents of a will and possibly have themselves included in it. Nobody is looking to take money from your grandfather while he is alive. This is to happen when he is dead.

Your grandfather is in his 80's. His sons were part of his life for what, 40 or 50 years. It seems like your mother and you are jumping in on the final furlong of his life.
 
Do youse all not think youse are all getting a bit excited and over involved in a situation youse know nothing about?

The only realities we all need to understand are:

1. Where there's a will, there's a family.
2. You can always anticipate the families where there is going to be a massive row after death - because its been brewing for years.
3. Parents have no obligations to grown children to leave them anything. Most parents feel a moral obligation to do so. Most offspring feel a sense of entitlement - whether it is justified or not.
4. Where one off spring is a primary carer, it is not unusual for them to inherit the bulk of the estate. Most families agree that this is fine.

mf
 
mf1 said:
Do youse all not think youse are all getting a bit excited and over involved in a situation youse know nothing about?

The only realities we all need to understand are:

1. Where there's a will, there's a family.
2. You can always anticipate the families where there is going to be a massive row after death - because its been brewing for years.
3. Parents have no obligations to grown children to leave them anything. Most parents feel a moral obligation to do so. Most offspring feel a sense of entitlement - whether it is justified or not.
4. Where one off spring is a primary carer, it is not unusual for them to inherit the bulk of the estate. Most families agree that this is fine.

mf
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Well said mf1.

The majority of the wealth in Ireland is concentrated among a certain age group. Accordingly, disputes such as these should become more widespread over the next (say) 15-20 years.

Most accountancy and legal firms are now offering a succession planning service. This may be a good option for families of significant means.

In situations where siblings feel one sibling has been hard done by, there may be the option for those siblings to renounce their inheritance (or part of their inheritance). This would only work in cases where the "hard done by" sibling was not excluded from the will. Otherwise, it'd be a gift from sibling to sibling with the associated tax issues.

I'd also point out that in my experience it's those who've married into a family and their children who cause the most grief. Perhaps they married into the family for reasons only known to themselves and aren't too chuffed when things haven't panned out as predicted?

This is a messy messy area.
 
Talk about twisting things ParkLane! 'Good Health' is more of a euphemism than anything else; they have expressed disappointment within earshot of me that he's celebrating another birthday and that their 'inheritance' is worth less and less the longer he's alive. Whilst I agree that elderly parents can be manipulative, it isn't all hearsay and gossip, I have been witness to more than enough to form my own opinions.

As to my mothers will - 95% of her estate goes to my youngest sister. No-one in the family including me has any issue with this - mums money, mums choice, she brought me up, fed and clothed me until I was able to do so myself, what right have I got to expect anything else from her purely by virtue of being related to her - NONE!
 
ACA said:
Mum would far prefer that he leaves it to an animal shelter or the church, he won't hear of it.
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Your mother would prefer that your grandad do this than leave it to his own sons?
If your mother doesn't want the money could she not suggest that for the sake of peace in the family that he includes his sons in the will.
 
ACA said:
they have expressed disappointment within earshot of me that he's celebrating another birthday and that their 'inheritance' is worth less and less the longer he's alive.
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What inheritance? Your mother has this wrapped up.
 
It's easy to draw conclusions standing on the outside of the situation.

Thanks for the written support mf1 :)
 
ACA said:
It really sickens me that despite the 2 brothers having homes of their own, and being at almost retirement age themselves, they feel that they deserve a share of my grandad's estate.
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There is nothing wrong in your uncles having homes of their own. Does your mother have a home of her own?

Your uncles moved abroad to find work and look after their families, nothing wrong in that either. I am sure that they would have liked to stay in Ireland and be close to your grandparents. Your mother was lucky to be able to do this. She had the opportunity to take care of your grandparents, they didn't.
 
None of my family are originally from Ireland SlugBreath.

I think this thread has now been done and would appreciate it if mods closed.
 
ACA said:
None of my family are originally from Ireland SlugBreath.

I think this thread has now been done and would appreciate it if mods closed.
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This is actually someone else's thread that you contributed to, so I am not sure that it would be fair to the original OP to close it.
 
Hopefully despite having the thread hijacked and all the bickering that went on, OP managed to glean something useful from it.
 
ACA, for what it's worth - I think your mum does deserve whatever your grandad chooses to leave her. I don't see why anyone thinks your uncles deserve to be left anything in the will or indeed, to be shown it. It is your grandads' business who he tells or shows the will to. I also am quite surprised at how distrusting some of the other posters are regarding what you've said about your uncles. Why do they automatically think the uncles are being wronged? It's not hard to send birthday and christmas gifts by mail even if they are unable to visit at these times. And to leave within 24 hours of their mothers death/funeral does give the impression that there is not a lot of feeling there for their dad and your mum and your family. Don't take the nasty comments to heart and enjoy having your grandad around.
Peelabee
 
thanks peelabee :)

it appears that mf1's comment - where there's a will there's a family was spot on. And based upon some of the posts that I have had aimed at me, there is going to be a lot of unhappy people in the future
 
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