Husband just blew 34k on online casino

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This story gets more bizarre by the hour. I'm beginning to think the OP is the husband.
 
I am really hoping that is not the case.

The only reason that i can think of that the OP would not contact me and let me attempt to help them if they were so distressed is that they are indeed the husband.

Either way I am graciously going to remove myself from this matter as i have offered help and 7 years experience of the online gaming industry and dealing with situations like this in the past.

Make no mistake, the proof is in the trail and once you are able to go through it all, it will become apparent either way.

HP if this is indeed a legitimate case and you are not the gambler, i wish you all the best with which will be a long battle with addiction in your family and financial strain. If you are the gambler, get some help for the sake of your family and youself or you will be left with nothing.

Regards
Bag
 
HotdogsFolks said:
The fact as well that you're waiting for some of the bets to come through (the accumulators) makes me think this is no longer a case of a drunken mistake. You are actually soberly choosing to keep the bets running.
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I'm just playing devils advocate here, but there is a chance these accumulators could help. They're probably pie in the sky but for all we know the husband could be waiting on Australia to win the World Cup to collect thousands. We just don't know.
You really should pm bagoftricks...that is an offer of real help from someone with expertise.
I wish you well.
 
bagoftricks said:
I am really hoping that is not the case.

The only reason that i can think of that the OP would not contact me and let me attempt to help them if they were so distressed is that they are indeed the husband.

Either way I am graciously going to remove myself from this matter as i have offered help and 7 years experience of the online gaming industry and dealing with situations like this in the past.

Make no mistake, the proof is in the trail and once you are able to go through it all, it will become apparent either way.

HP if this is indeed a legitimate case and you are not the gambler, i wish you all the best with which will be a long battle with addiction in your family and financial strain. If you are the gambler, get some help for the sake of your family and youself or you will be left with nothing.

Regards
Bag
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As far as I can see this was a very generous and gracious offer and it is a shame that the original poster did not take you up on it because, as you say, they had little to lose. Oh well - maybe somebody else can benefit from your advice in the future either posted here on AAM or, if you choose, offline.
 
Right, just to get a few things straight. Unfortunately life must still go on, I still had to mind the kids, go to work etc, and I haven't been able to access the website since my last message especially since my husband was around the house any time I might have had a minute. I really appreciate the help and advice people are offering but find some of your assumptions a bit upsetting, but you don't know me so of course you're going to make assumptions - we all do.

I have pm'd bag of tricks and would appreciate any advice I can get but I'm reluctant to give up my anonymity to a stranger so hopefully he/she can stil help me. I've tried numerous times to contact GA and always get an answering machine. I've checked out their website and I am hoping to go to a GamAnon meeting next week, I really could do with someone to talk to as I'm finding it very stressful keeping the bright side out to everyone else but have no intention of discussing it with my own family - some things need to be kept within a marriage if the marriage is to survive. My husband is meeting a counsellor who specialises in gambling addictions, but to be honest I think it will be a long hard road. Nothing is black and white, he's not the bad guy and I'm not the good guy, I think he turned to gambling to fill a void that was in our marriage, so I think a lot of counselling is going to be needed for us both if we really want to sort this out for once and for all.

Now I know this post has strayed away from the original message which was in the appropriate "financial" forum but there were some things that needed to be said. I haven't answered everything that was suggested or questioned, that would take all day (and thank you all for taking the time to reply) - but just take note I am dealing with it as best I can and I am taking people's advice seriously. I have cut off his access to both my funds and the betting account - however if he really wanted to bet,he could set up another one with cash from his business if he so wished so I will never be in a position to control all his access to money, so it is even more important that he gets the help he needs before it gets any worse.
 
OK,lets start off with an apology,in case I'm wrong.
I unreservedly apologise to all concerned if I am wrong,but this story stinks!
It has changed practically beyond all recognition from the original msg.
AKAIK all offers of help have been ignored!
And as a previous (heavy) online gambler I could not,even if I wanted to gamble 34(35)K in one sitting,I have even rang all my CC companies to allow more transactions at times,but to no avail.
I have tried them all.."Vegas Villa" "32 Red" "LuckyNugget" etc and all of them had a 2k limit within 24 hrs,unless u had a prior arrangement with them,where they looked for fairly comprehensive identification.
I dont balme "bagoftricks" if he wants out at this stage,he can neither do nor offer anymore!!
Thank God I got out when I did.
Again apologies if I am wrong.
 
Sparkrite everything I've said is completely accurate - unfortunately for me. Bet365 have no limit provided the funds are there. The story has not changed since I originally posted, just different aspects of it started to be discussed so that's where it has led.
 
I think its time to lock the thread. OP has indicated that they have learned a lot and by all accounts wants to keep some degree of privacy to the whole affair. It certainly seems odd-but if someone has access to a few CC's they can probably beat the controls that are in place on some websites. Also if the company is not an irish company, the rules established in Ireland do not apply.
 
I accept all you are saying "hp123" but what I am saying is that unless it was the "norm" to have so many online transactions my CC companies(4) ALWAYS rejected after a predermined amount anymore debits.In fact I normally received a call from them to check if the allowed tranfers were legit.Maybe,and I mean maybe this is the first time u have "caught" him,I know I was good at hiding it,for a while.
 
hp123 said:
and I haven't been able to access the website since my last message especially since my husband was around the house any time I might have had a minute.
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I don't understand. Surely he could mind the kids while you use the internet? Or are you implying that here is some sort of pressure or even bullying going on here that means that you have to be circumspect about such matters?
I have pm'd bag of tricks and would appreciate any advice I can get but I'm reluctant to give up my anonymity to a stranger
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No offence to bagoftricks but that is a reasonable concern.
however if he really wanted to bet,he could set up another one with cash from his business if he so wished so I will never be in a position to control all his access to money, so it is even more important that he gets the help he needs before it gets any worse.
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Is he self employed? How is he managing to keep the show on the road with his ostensible gambling addiction?

hp123 - please post here or contact me or another moderator if you feel that this thread should be locked or removed at this stage.
 
HP123 if indeed you are the wife of the gambler and I don't believe that you are not it seems to me you are blaming yourself. That your marriage is rocky at the moment and your partner is convincing you that somehow you are to blame for the mess you are 'both' now in. That's it's your fault he lost the money. I have this experience myself as my father was a domineering controlling (alcoholic) husband and father. He always convinced my mother that everything should be 'kept within the family' and going outside was treacherous to the extent that eventually my mother always thought it was always her fault when there were problems. Happily they are now separated.

I've come to the conclusion you are in the same unhappy place. I sincerely apologise if I am wrong but it seems to me it is you who are trying to sort out the mess, you who says there are problems in the marriage, you who is contacting GA, you who is going to GAAnon and you who has to hide going onto the internet (is he watching everything you do?) and all the while preoccupied while minding kids and working. You're even afraid to talk to your own family - this is not normal. He seems to be completely in control here. I hope I'm wrong but I feel for you and I think only by going outside the marriage for help will you be able to see clearly.
 
hp123 said:
I'm not looking for comments on his actions. I'm looking for practical advice. What can I do to clear this debt?
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This quote is from the first post....all that's been posted in between has varied from being helpful (very in bagoftrick's case), judgemental, disbelieving, supportive....etc....etc... Maybe we should get back to basics here. Yes, there are addiction issues, marital issues. But the OP wants a way to sort out the debt and our advice on that. I can't see what more advice can be given.

1. She can follow up the betting co. with BOT's help, privately and try and get it reduced.

2. She can chase the bank's re allowing such amounts to be debited from her cards without warning her (any bank people here who have had to deal with an experience like hers?)

That is one issue.

The other issues re gambling addiction, etc can only be dealt with over time, between herself and hubby.
 
Welfarite, well the fact that she considers the bets to be valid (she's waiting for some of them to see if they'll win or not) is what's gotten her the bit of flack I think.

The fact that she considers the bets to be valid, in my opinion, makes the 34k loss a valid loss, and she should not get any of it back.

It's wrong for the betting companies to have to return her losses just because she lost.

(Sorry if I sound harsh.)
 
HotdogsFolks said:
Welfarite, well the fact that she considers the bets to be valid (she's waiting for some of them to see if they'll win or not) is what's gotten her the bit of flack I think.

The fact that she considers the bets to be valid, in my opinion, makes the 34k loss a valid loss, and she should not get any of it back.

It's wrong for the betting companies to have to return her losses just because she lost.

(Sorry if I sound harsh.)
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I doesn't matter if she thinks the bets are valid , it matters if the site does..


If 365 say they are valid , and she won't get the stake back , then hopefully even a few 100 euro back will help....


We don't know what the bets are on , perhaps 3 of 4 items are the bet has happened .....
 
I have read this thread with interest since it started 3 days ago. I think the help and advise has been to the point supportive and in the case of Bagoftricks huge. in the last 5 minutes I looked up the GA Ireland Web site. I rang the Dublin land line number which was answered promptly by a man only too happy to talk to me about GA. There are meetings in Dublin 7 days a week. Same in Cork. Other areas / cities are different. All is specified on their Web site. Very impressive service. All my twocents worth is please please take all the help offered.
 
I think Hp has gotten a lot of good advice from people who have lived through the mess she is going through right now and people who have dealt with similiar situations in the past.

Deep down i think she knows what needs to be done to be able to put this mess behind and it really wont be easy and it is going to take alot of time and effort on both her partners part and her own.

I have pm'd her the first steps to carry out before she can negotiate successfully with 365. She can do this anonymously and i can guide her along the way.

The only reason i am willing to get involved in this is because on the current evidence(unless proven incorrect) the operator is not acting in a socially responsible fashion.

Anyway lets hope it works out for her if everything is above board.

Regards
Bag
 
When you guys speak about a debit card, do you mean a laser card? For clarity - the card that you can use in a shop to purchase groceries and the money comes straight out of your own account, (in other words not a credit card) and you use a pin rather than a signature. If the answer is yes could you explain to me how you can withdraw 14K on a laser card in one night. Aren't their daily limits in Ireland or does it allow you to take all the money in the account out. Also aren't laser cards linked to current accounts not deposit accounts as I assume most of you keep large amounts in deposit accounts and not current accounts. Unless it's a business account I guess. This year for the first time I've been able to pay an Irish bill (rubbish charges) using my Irish lasercard on line so I understand that you can yes transfer money from your current account to an online/web account. But I would seriously like to know that there are limits - yes I'm off to read the terms and conditions later - when I find them!
 
Hi HP123,
there are two things you mentioned, (1) you were not able to access internet as your husband was around. I can understand that as you probably did not want him to know you were posting messages about your problems. (2) you do not want family to know, again this is understandable you are probably hoping that in the future things will be sorted and no one will know. Do you have a sister you can talk to? you need someone close you can trust.
 
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