Do you give a gift for a debs?

eiregal

Registered User
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Is it the done thing to give a gift to someone going to their debs if you've been invited to their house to see them off? I've never heard of this before, I know I didn't get any when I went to mine. Apparently €20 in a card is the 'going rate'. I think it's absurd.
 
Apparently €20 in a card is the 'going rate'. I think it's absurd.
The idea of "going rates" in such matters is what is absurd. People should make their own judgements and decisions rather than being blindly driven by etiquette or custom.
 
Apparently €20 in a card is the 'going rate'.

I've heard it all now. Please don't give in to this nonsense. A gift of flowers and chocolates from their partner, yes.

A gift if you're invited to 'see them off' from the house??
I'm sorry - no way.

Madness.
 
I have heard of people being invited to the house for a drink to see them off but the idea of giving them something never entered my head.
 
Our son had his grads last night, several couples all going from one house ( his friends ). The friends mother put on some nibbles etc ( which were brilliant ) he took chocs for his dates mother, the trad flower for the date & a bunch of flowers for the friends mother who put on the food. Money in a card ! never entered anyones head and don't think its really appropriate. If realised the friends mother was going to all the trouble she went to I'd have dropped a bottle of vino over to her tho.
 
First I've heard of this practise!

In my day, the chap brought chocolates (and possibly flowers) for the mammy and the funny "pin-on" flower for the girl.

Edit: Grammar
 
Some people have a house party after the debs have departed - if you are going to stay on for a couple of hours a bottle of wine would be very acceptable, however if you are just dropping in for 10 minutes you don't bring anything.
 
Whilst there is no compulsion on anyone to being a gift fo the debs girl or boy, I think it would be a bit mean to arrive empty-handed. I suppose it depends how well you know the family. My neighbour's daugter had hers last year (my neighbour is also a good friend), and I brought a card with a E25 MAC cosmetic voucher. This entitled her to a free MAC cosmetic makeover and E25 of MAC products. She was thrilled with it.
 
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