Child maintenance to Poland - court order

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AmoebaAsasin

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Hi there - a couple of years back, i happened to meet a Polish girl here in Ireland. We were together for about six months, she got pregnant in the final month and it was a big shock to both of us. I was prepared to support the child. About 2 weeks after this discovery - she told me that she was going home for a 2 week holiday. She never came back, also shortly after she left ireland - i started getting abusive phone calls from a guy that she had been seeing - basically saying "you stole my girlfriend, " usually these phone calls were drunk and abusive, i had to threaten Garda action to stop. anyway - i got in touch with her - she denied cheating - she also told me that she would be remaining in Poland , having the baby there and remaining there. i felt really p'd off that i had no say in this and i felt powerless to do anything. Anyway the child was born, shortly afterwards - i received a text message demanding €600 per month to be wired over to her, i told her that she must be dreaming, she would not even get that in Ireland. I was earning €1800 Per month at the time. So it went to Court - the court awarded her 300€ per month (they laughed at the €600 ammount) to be backdated bout a year and a half, and all the costs of childbirth etc to be paid too. The polish girl also threatened to send "collectors" if i didnt pay the ammount in full immediately. I appealed this and the judge has arranged another hearing. So far this has cost me €2000 in legal fees. I am willing to pay €200 per month, i am earning 2,300 net per month now but am married and my wife is on a pretty crap salary, when rent, bills, loans, health insurance, food , oil and everything else is taken into consideration things are tight enough.. A lot of people i have spoken to said that €200 in poland is worth substancially more than it is here. We have not done a DNA test but im pretty sure that the child is mine from the phoots.
Bottom line is - i feel this girl is quite calculating, she has no consideration for me or my feelings, she sees me as a source of funds, i want to get this over and done with and pay some monthly ammount - but i dont want to be ripped off. i am aware of my responsibility to pay something. I am not trying to escape this. Any thoughts? Also if any polish people are on here - i would be interested on what you think of as a "fair" ammount to be paid per month?
thanks in advance. AA
 
So is the agreed €300 pm also likely to be reviewed at the new court hearing? I would imagine that in the absence of any ruling to the contrary you are obliged to pay the agreed €300 at the moment.

As it happens, yes, I think the this girl is getting a very good deal but it's not really relevant - €300 pm was agreed by the court.

If possible, I think you should do a DNA test just in case by the way.

You describe the girl being calculating etc as the 'bottom line' - well maybe she is, but I would have thought that the real bottom line is whatever the court decides?
 
I think if you continue on the sentence of "bottom line" you will see .... i want to get this over and done with and pay some monthly ammount - but i dont want to be ripped off.
300€ was agreed by the court - i had the right to appeal this and i did, i also got myself a new lawyer - it seemed that the lawyers that i had paid in the first instance had just been "appearing" in court and not really defending me. The judge in the appeal hearing did see everything as being very one sided and sent it back to the court of first instance - which is where we are at now.
 
You absolutely have to do a DNA test - what if it is not in fact your child?

Just as an observation - on a salary of 2300 a month 300 does not seem exorbitant to support your child (if it is your child) - Its approx 75 euro a week, which wouldnt go far between food, clothes, nappies, childcare, doctors fees, toys, treats etc....

You are appealing for what amounts to 25 euro a week - is it worth it?
 
Well - look at it this way - over 25 years it totals €30,000 - so yes i think it is worth it.
Also other people may disagree with me on this. But I feel that the maintenance should be paid based on the childs situation, e.g. if the child is being brought up in a different country where the cost of living is lower than Ireland , then the amount of payment should reflect this.
I also am angry over the way this girl has treated me and I dont want to make it easy for her, its €300 a month gone into the void - it would be different if the child was in Ireland, i could at least have some input.

You are right - A DNA test is on the cards - this will be carried out as part of the court hearing.
 
It's also tax deductible


Edit: Just saw your last post. Get the anger out of the way, your annoyance at this matters little to the court. The court will look at the childs welfare.

You might be able to argue that the cost of living is much lower in Poland, but you are still at the mercy of the court, whose main concern is the welfare of the child, so the question is whether it is worth it to spend thousands more now in the hope of reducing ongoing payments, which is not guaranteed at all, or suck up your feelings on it, count your losses and move on.
 
J26 - only if a spouse....

Maintenance payments made under a legally enforceable arrangement entered into on or after 8 June 1983 are payable without deduction of tax.
 
AmoebaAsasin said:
Well - look at it this way - over 25 years it totals €30,000 - so yes i think it is worth it.
Also other people may disagree with me on this. But I feel that the maintenance should be paid based on the childs situation, e.g. if the child is being brought up in a different country where the cost of living is lower than Ireland , then the amount of payment should reflect this.
I also am angry over the way this girl has treated me and I dont want to make it easy for her, its €300 a month gone into the void - it would be different if the child was in Ireland, i could at least have some input.

You are right - A DNA test is on the cards - this will be carried out as part of the court hearing.
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Youd pay child support over 25 years? Thats a new one on me - I would have thought it was either 18 or 22 if the child goes into full time further education.

I understand you feel badly treated - but its only punishing a child for behaviour of adults to try and bring the amount down because of that.

I assume you are insisting on proper access etc...?

From a personal viewpoint I dont think it really matters where the child is - you made the child, you are responsible for support - arguing the toss over 25 euro a week seems petty.

To look at it from another perspective, if the childs mother died and you took on custody of the child, how much would childcare, food, clothes etc...cost you a week? A lot more than 50 euro a week Id imagine - a creche alone is 50 euro a day.

It shouldnt be about the specific amount - it should be about giving your child a good life.

By the way - no judgement from me on what should or shouldnt be done, you have to do whats right for you - the above is only my own thoughts. I dont think you are in the wrong, just trying to make the best of things.
 
i think that its 25 in Poland if the child decides to continue with 3rd level.
"It shouldnt be about the specific amount - it should be about giving your child a good life." Thing is - i will have nothing to do with this child - that's - i have no feelings for him, i know this sounds cold.
Anyway - i appreciate your feedback.
 
I don't blame you for being cross. I'd be cross too, not so much about the maintenance but the way she has handled things etc. I presume it is not easy or going to be easy for you to see the child and have regular access.

Don't be cross in court, if you have to get a new solicitor then get one.

I know someone who had a solicitor for 3 years and got them nowhere in a family court situation. They changed solicitor and the new guy didn't take long to sort things out.

Try to think of the child getting the money and not herself.

Trawl the internet and find out whatever you can regarding similiar situations, has to be few of them.
 
AmoebaAsasin said:
i think that its 25 in Poland if the child decides to continue with 3rd level.
"It shouldnt be about the specific amount - it should be about giving your child a good life." Thing is - i will have nothing to do with this child - that's - i have no feelings for him, i know this sounds cold.
Anyway - i appreciate your feedback.
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Well no actually, I dont think it sounds cold. You havent exactly been given an opportunity to form a bond or have any input.

But even given that from an emotional standpoint you are not interested, from a moral point of view it is still your child and your responsibility to pay maintenance. 300 Vs 200 a month seems little to be appealing, paying legal fees to appeal, hassle of flights, going to court etc...

I agree with Carrielou - try not to think about herself, just think about supporting your own child - no emotional relationship necessary.

The childs mother has behaved badly - that doesnt mean you have to.

To be fair to you - you could have just refused everything, the fact you even went to court in Poland (I assume another jurisdiction couldnt have forced you, or to be more blunt, Im sure you could have changed addressed and 'disappeared' when it was clear she was not allowing you to have any input), it commendable, but you might well just save yourself a lot of hassle over a relatively small amount per month to just agree to the 300.
 
Ok - thanks everyone - I appreciate the advice. The court is in motion - my lawyer reckons that what she is demanding is quite high for Poland, so I guess ill see what happens , and take the judges verdict and go with it, cheers
 
AmoebaAsasin said:
Ok - thanks everyone - I appreciate the advice. The court is in motion - my lawyer reckons that what she is demanding is quite high for Poland, so I guess ill see what happens , and take the judges verdict and go with it, cheers
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Well I hope it all works out ok for you - whatever way it goes.

rmelly - in the context of OPs first post, 6 month relationship with someone from a different country, its likely that it would be quite easy to disappear from someone in that position.
 
truthseeker said:
rmelly - in the context of OPs first post, 6 month relationship with someone from a different country, its likely that it would be quite easy to disappear from someone in that position.
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Not that it really matters, but I doubt that in this day and age that it is that easy what with the interweb and the bebo etc.

Chances are she knows where he worked, family, friends, his 'haunts' etc. He may own his house/apartment, so selling up and changing jobs to disappear would be quite drastic.

For the sort of money involved, first thing she'd do would be get a private investigator, after all he'd foot the bill for it when it got to court.
 
rmelly said:
Not that it really matters, but I doubt that in this day and age that it is that easy what with the interweb and the bebo etc.

Chances are she knows where he worked, family, friends, his 'haunts' etc. He may own his house/apartment, so selling up and changing jobs to disappear would be quite drastic.

For the sort of money involved, first thing she'd do would be get a private investigator, after all he'd foot the bill for it when it got to court.
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Id have to try and disappear to test it out.

Could a court in Poland force him to attend - do jurisdictions outside of Ireland have the right to force someone to attend (if its not a criminal matter).
 
rmelly said:
Not that it really matters, but I doubt that in this day and age that it is that easy what with the interweb and the bebo etc.

Chances are she knows where he worked, family, friends, his 'haunts' etc. He may own his house/apartment, so selling up and changing jobs to disappear would be quite drastic.

For the sort of money involved, first thing she'd do would be get a private investigator, after all he'd foot the bill for it when it got to court.
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Rmelly - I do think it would be quite easy to dissapear, i think especially nowadays places like australia would be quite easy to lose yourself in - should you want to.
 
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