Best way for couple to deal with paying bills shopping etc

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indebtedgal

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Any suggestions for situation outlined below:

Couple co habiting together

Mortgage comes out of his account (his house)
I pay him €200 per month rent per say, in cash, sometimes a bit more maybe €250. We agreed that I wouldn't pay half the mortgage as its not my house!!
I get all the shopping about €80-€100 a week, groceries, toiletries, bits and pieces for the house (towels linens, cleaning products, pay the cleaner €30
We split bills 50/50 and he usually pays when we go out for food or a function.
We keep saying that we must sort things out but we don't really know how to go about it. We don't have a joint account and we always say we will both have cash on friday evenings and put it in a kitty but that nevers happens and then its next week again. Baby on the way so need to get a process started! Any suggestions appreciated..
 
Umm.

There are three (ish) ways of dealing with this.

A. Continue as is. And muddle along.
B. Set it all up on an entirely commercial basis. His house, he pays mortgage, you pay rent and after that you split all bills equally. What is left over is your own money.
C. Get married and agree to share everything - everything in joint names, have a joint account.

mf
 
Surely the fact that you have a baby on the way is even more of a committment than marriage- its not like you're a lodger!
The arrangement as it is seems a little strange- ie its his house?!:confused:

Get a joint account sorted and each put a fixed amount in each month where bills etc are paid by DD.
 
First of all - congratulations on the impending arrival :)

I would suggest setting up a joint account to cover all of the household expenses. Each of you could set up a direct debit from your own accounts to pay a set amount each week/fortnight/month, and then you can set up direct debits from this account to pay the bills. The rent you pay to him could continue to be paid by cash, or could be deducted from what he pays into the joint account. If at all possible, try to pay a little extra into the joint account to cover any emergencies that might arise (car trouble, household appliance breaking down, etc)

I would also think about setting up a "baby fund" account - preferably a savings account that's harder to access. Pay at least some of the children's allowance into this to pay for baby's needs as he/she grows up.

Another idea is to open a joint savings account to pay for holidays or other treats. Even saving a small amount each week into this will soon add up.
 
You're paying rent, so why do you get all the shopping? Should it not be split 50/50 between ye as well as the bills? Or should he not pay all the bills if you continue getting all the shopping? Just doesn't seem very even.

Ultimately it'll be whatever suits yourselves and there is a lot of variation in how couples deal with it.

When I was in a similar situation, it was my apartment, he paid me rent. I got the shopping and he paid all the bills. We weren't married so hadn't bothered with a joint account (still don't have one although we are married now). We have a similar arrangement now - he pays the mortgage and I pay everything else.
I know other couples have a joint account where they direct debit a certain % of their income each month and pay everything out of that. I think that is a good idea for couples not earning similar salaries.
 
GEt a jamjars and agree to put a set amount each in every week. (Who'd trust a bank nowadays?:D) Take out as necessary to cover food, bills, DDs ("I'm taking out X as spending money becuase a DD of X came out of my account today").

Use surplusfor an occasional meal out. Works for me and my partner. 100 each per week covers all. No mortgage for her, one for me which I pay myself. we went on holdaiy this year on the surplus!
 
We split everything 50/50.
My name is on the bills and its my mortgage - so he pays me rent (half the mortgage) each month, and everytime there is a bill I pay it and then he pays me half the bill.
In the supermarket we just split the bill at the checkout.
If I stop by shops for a few bits and he is not with me he pays me half later on.

There is of course plenty of leeway, sometimes I dont bother asking for half for small bits of shopping and vice versa.
Or paying the milkman may just happen with whoever happens to be in.
Or if Im a bit broke he may pay for groceries that week and vice versa.

We also keep a 'piggy bank' for household items where we each put in 100 a month and everytime there is enough in it we use the proceeds for things like a new tv, a new couch, curtains etc...
 
Agree a "rent" amount with him and transfer this to his account on a monthly/weekly basis. You should ensure that you are getting rent relief as you are not getting Mortgage TRS.

He should pay house insurance, house repairs, major fittings (furniture etc)

Set up a joint account to which you both contribute equal amounts. This account should be used for all utility bills, TV license, and your weekly shopping. You'll need to figure how much you'll need to fund the account with to cover everything. Get a laser card on it, so that if you do pay some groceries or the cleaner with cash, you can take the cash from the account.

If the joint account works well, you could attach a deposit account to it and start to save for holidays or maybe even a wedding ;-)

When the baby comes, you need to decide what you'll do with the children's allowance. I would imagine, you should agree to fund and the joint account a bit more and put some of the children's allowance in there and put some away for the child if this is affordable. You'l also need to agree with him that you have to cut the rent transfer as presumably, at some stage your salary will be reduced when you are on maternity leave.

For functions, restaurants, presents & other non routine, I'd let who is most flush at the time pay.
 
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