A sticky situation: rent a room lodger slow to move out

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Noor77

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I need a bit of advice please!

I have had my own place and for 3 years and have had a lodger staying with me for all that time. She has the en-suite bedroom ( because I wanted the other one). Until recently she was paying €350 a month, with no bills - which is very, very reasonable for the location of the apartment. In September she went back to college full-time and has managed to get me to put the rent down to €250 (still no bills). I am quite culpable in the whole thing as I should never have let it get to this stage, but as we have become friends it was harder to be firm. Anyway, I have asked her to move out, as €250 a month is a drop in the ocean re: my mortgage and it has got to the stage where I almost feel like I am supporting her!. I told her I would let her stay until the end of May when her college exams are finished ....but she is making really heavy weather of this and saying she can't move out until July as she will need a full month after the exams to find somewhere.

I am fed up. What should I do? I have tried to be reasonable but to no avail
 
Re: A sticky situation

Is this under the rent a room scheme or under the remit of a rent book/lease?
 
Re: A sticky situation

You are letting have a great deal there, not alone did you drop the rent but she doesnt contribute to any bills either?!

What is the going rent rate for your area?

You should explain to her that she is getting a great deal and that she needs to start paying towards the bills from now on. I cant see you increasing the rent back up to 350?

Sounds like you are being too soft!
 
Re: A sticky situation

I have been too soft, but the problem was that we became good friends.

The normal rent for a double ensuite room in my area would be €450 - €500 excluding bills (for single occupancy)
 
Re: A sticky situation

Noor77 said:
I have been too soft, but the problem was that we became good friends.

The normal rent for a double ensuite room in my area would be €450 - €500 excluding bills (for single occupancy)
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Well, hopefully she can understand your point of view, if you are good friends then you can just say it straight out. 250 is too low but its going to be hard to ask to increase that again. I'd say ask for her to cover half the bills which is the norm.

Or if you want her out then point her in the direction of www.daft.ie. Give her the 4 week notice period and stick to it. Feck that, its your house and your mortgage and shes not exactly paying much rent. She obviously knows shes in a cushy situation.
 
Re: A sticky situation

Noor77 said:
I have been too soft, but the problem was that we became good friends.

The normal rent for a double ensuite room in my area would be €450 - €500 excluding bills (for single occupancy)
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She is not your friend if she is taking advantage of the situation. You are paying the mortgage for the place and are losing money renting the room for such a low price when you could get almost double of what she pays you plus bills...She will have to understand this, and still be able to remain friends. A solution can be for her to pay 300 if she can't afford the 350 and the bills till July, and then for her to leave. You won't have a problem then renting it for the market value.
 
Re: A sticky situation

It's a tough one alright. I think you're probably facing the prospect of losing her as a friend, no matter what happens. Of course, if she really valued your friendship she would see the hardship you were under and would understand.

At the end of the day, it is not your responsibility to help her get through her exams - it could be argued that you've helped her quite enough already by effectively subsidising her return to college - don't be shy in reminding her that in any other rental situation she would have been paying €450-€500 plus bills.

It's only February now - tell her she's extremely lucky that you're not just giving her a month's notice straight away, and that it is a (very generous) gesture of friendship that you're allowing her stay till after her exams. How do you know she won't go home straight after her exams, and then you'll be left high and dry?
 
Re: A sticky situation

Make sure the rent keeps coming until in the end. Someone with 3-4 months grace might see nothing wrong with "slippage". Next thing you know, she owes you the guts of a grand, she knows shes leaving " yeah I'll pay next week" then shes gone, and she thinks youre soft and wont go after her for it. Probably wont happen, but watch for it.
Personal experience. :eek:
 
Re: A sticky situation

Taken from Oasis:

"If you choose to rent out a room(s) in your home, you aren't covered by landlord/tenant legislation in Ireland. This means that you are not obliged to register with the PRTB as a landlord, provide a rent book to the tenant or ensure that the accommodation provided meets any minimum physical standards.

This also means that private tenants living in your principal home are living under a "Licensee Agreement" not a tenancy agreement and are really only entitled to "reasonable notice" if you choose to terminate the agreement."

The [broken link removed]:

You are correct that it's a difficult situation, particulary given you have become friends. However, bear in mind this is also a commercial transaction and the purpose of renting out this room is to assist with your mortgage repayments, not support someone else to obtain their education, to the detriment of your own income.

You are correct in that you have been culpable in this matter but your rights are fairly clear. Your options now are either remain being taken advantage of, or resolve this matter by acting firmly.

I suggest you assert yourself and confirm termination of your agreement, preferably in writing. Listen to the protestations but be firm and remember it is unreasonable to say it will 'take until July to find alternative accommodation'. There are a huge volume of estate agents, letting agencies, private advertisements, etc. that offer accommodation. Your friends problem however is that she realises it's highly unlikely she will obtain accommodation anywhere in the Dublin city area for €250 (including bills).

If this person is a genuine friend, they will realise they are being unreasonable in expecting you to provide below-cost accommodation to them while you suffer financially.

Hope things work out and do post again to let us know how things resolved themselves.
 
Re: A sticky situation

I am very much to blame myself though as I am a bit of a soft touch. Last year she went away for 2 months and I let her keep the room at a 50% rate!
 
Re: A sticky situation

Thanks for all your help and suggestions.

I am just fed up with the situation. She is now on at me to get broadband - which of course she is assuming I will pay for. I put my foot down and said no!!!
 
Re: A sticky situation

friends and money don't mix, shakespere - "neither a borrower nor a lender be"(apart from your mortgage that is)
what are you her mother?, Ah you go back to school pet, i'll pay for the sky & bins and all that silly stuff.... - she IS taking advantage, ans if she was a friend she would at least admit it.

You sound like you are lacking some assertiveness - you see the problem, know the tack you have to take and you need to keep repeating it firmly when it comes up for discussion. Ignore the " it won't be till July" line, it will be because you will be showing her room from June onwards - what is stopping her moving out now, before her exams?

Good luck - its a rotton situation to be in.

(for all my preaching i lack any and and all assertiveness but find selective deafness and repetition is the only way to keep my cool and control of the situation. )
 
Re: A sticky situation

she is making really heavy weather of this and saying she can't move out until July as she will need a full month after the exams to find somewhere.
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That's assuming she doesn't start looking until after the exams. But why can't she start looking now? She's hardly going to be studying 24/7 from now until June.
 
Re: A sticky situation

Noor77 said:
She is now on at me to get broadband!!!
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If this were my kid, I'd (a) be very glad she had such a 'softie' landlord, but (b) give her a clip around the ear for her cheek! (Oops, sorry, that's not allowed any more...)

Is this friend-tenant finishing College this year? Staying on next year? I can understand you facilitating her with 50% rent for the two vacant months, rather than go through the hassle of finding another lodger that you can get on well with, but...
 
Re: A sticky situation

Cati76 said:
She is not your friend if she is taking advantage of the situation.
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I have to agree with Cati76 here. No friend would take advantage like this. She knows that she is on to a good thing here. I was in a similiar situation some time ago and I was glad to be rid of them. Bite the bullet, tell her how you feel, cause in the long you're NOT loosing a friend - just a leach.
 
I know I am to blame.

We weren't friends to start with but obviously when you live with someone you become closer. I have learnt a hard lesson though. I suppose I went for the comfort factor of continuing to live with somebody I knew for a lesser amount of money than I would otherwise have gotten.

She isn't Irish and in her culture people tend to do favours for friends - I suppose she now feels in some way that I should be facilitating her drop in income.

My friends think I should ask her to leave asap but I would feel a bit bad if she messed up her exams because of the move
 
Noor77 said:
I told her I would let her stay until the end of May when her college exams are finished ....but she is making really heavy weather of this and saying she can't move out until July
[...]
...in her culture people tend to do favours for friends - I suppose she now feels in some way that I should be facilitating her drop in income.... I would feel a bit bad if she messed up her exams because of the move
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ma·nip·u·la·tion [broken link removed] ([FONT=verdana, sans-serif] P [/FONT]) Pronunciation Key (m[broken link removed]-n[broken link removed]p[broken link removed]y[broken link removed]-l[broken link removed][broken link removed]sh[broken link removed]n) n.
    1. The act or practice of manipulating.
    2. The state of being manipulated.
  2. Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.
 
I see your dilemma, Noor, but in all fairness, you are in no way responsible for her performance in the exams - by the sounds of it, you are in fact facilitating her studies greatly.

Whether she is from a different culture is immaterial - she is living here now, and is taking advantage of your generosity - try telling your bank manager that she is from a different culture and that's the reason you're having difficulty with your mortgage payments :eek: .

Although it will be hard, this really is a case of having to grab the bull by the horns - she is taking advantage of you, plain and simple.

She is a grown woman, with over 3 months to go to her exams - many people have had far worse things happen to them 3 months before their exams, and have managed to come through them perfectly well. As posted before, DAFT.ie and other sites are positively overloaded with apartments/rooms to rent.

I really would get her out now - otherwise you'll be kicking yourself come July - also, how do you know you'll have the guts to force her out in July? You've already learnt an expensive lesson regarding 'friends' and money - you shouldn't let it become even more expensive!!

If you won't help yourself, Noor77, then who will?
 
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